#i just get so mad at these jerky dudes

[kdramaxoxo]

I have one small dream: it’s to stop being so mad at Kim Young Kwang so I can watch Call It Love since I can tell I’d love it

and I wish I could stop hating Lee Byun Hun so I can finally enjoy Mr. Sunshine with the rest of the world. 

Ok I have two dreams.

#i just get so mad at these jerky dudes #and can't seem to get over it #kim young #kwang hurt the most because he was almost my bias #i just like LOVED his face so much and the way he acted in the secret life of my secretary #and now he's in interesting things but my stubborn ass heart can't let me enjoy them #lee byun hun is just annoyed cause he's always cast in good things #tho let's be clear he sucks #so if I can't get that one dream it's ok #random #kim young kwang #lee byun hun #(im very dramatic)

[myrfing]

4 (mostly wondering about mount but if sahlloweye is canon feel free to tell me MORE also), 22, 25, 29!

HEY CAR THANK YUOU FOR QUESTIONS (overnight stocker maneuvers)

4. Do they have a canon mount or minion? What's its name(s)? 

OK ANSWERED ABOUT MOUNTS so the. YEAH the shalloweye is canon. runt of a group of em in coerthas that started following him. he mostly left it alone and left like...pieces of jerky and such for it to eat sometimes (it didn't eat them but he kept doing it anyway). it got captured by some dudes and sold to the gold saucer as a novelty pet prize and he was like wait... and won it back doing lord of verminion with the help of a friend. since then it gets to ride on his shoulder. it is just there to see vistas. after he learned voidsent are like...turned people...he started making clothes and hats for it but it made no move to dress itself so he stopped

22. Do you  have a unique tale for their job class or is it pretty much like what it is in the game?

His main classes are mostly like the canon storylines! He actually went through a full course for arcanists though when he was 17-18ish and sought out healing-based arcanima of his own accord. Some things in the 30-50 drk quest are also a little different in meaning because of my hc that fray retains their original self within his soul and have different resentments and fears that they projected onto him versus them being directly just his Esteem. some classes like pld, "drg" (lancer, really), mnk, "whm" (conjury) are not really canon and more like just weapons/magic he knows how to use.

25. Do they have any habits or rituals that they do to soothe themselves? I.e. Playing with their hair, chewing their lip, fidgeting, etc. 

OK often unconsciously does it but he sort of sweeps his tail once or twice when he's nervous which has made it thwack against some things. he actually really isn't all that fidgety and is good at sitting and standing still but his tail can give him away that thing is doing whatever it wants. he also does this thing where he reaches up and sort of scratches the scales on the opposite side of his face when he's tired and losing focus. scritch..

29. Did your WoL suspect anything was amiss with Urianger or the Crystal Exarch? Did they feel betrayed? Upset? When the truth finally emerged? 

With Urianger SAD TO REPORT HE DID NOT AT ALLLLLL he got his ass. he was just like well he is doing his own thing it is not my business and Urianger knows what he is doing he is trustworthy and nice. he actually also didn't...resent Urianger for what he did with Minfilia either because when they spoke at the mothercrystal he sort of realized it was kind of like the way he trusts yshtola and the way she trusts him in turn. in the like I know you would want the same thing/exchange of burdens and it actually helped him come to terms with the fact that it was Minfilia's choice and resolve. with the exarch not at all either because if he were to blame anyone it'd be graha really and second he doesn't even because again he sees it as a we're all on the same boat trying to row thing and he would have gone just as far.

with graga...he knew he was graha from the beginning but he was entirely willing to play along fully in the sense that he was like ok you say you aren't then you aren't and I'm sure you have your reasons. no coyness or attempts to prod it out at all. he was kind of like wait have I been fucking stupid @ the crown of the immaculate though when he did realize oh fuck he wants me to call him by his name this time. he wasn't mad about the light thing at all he knew the risk and saw it at his own choice. and he just doesnt have it in him to be like YOU FUCKING DONKEY about graha trying to blow himself up he was just joyous that he returned to him and that they won.

he has a very "do you see what I see" "i do" broader view with the scions where the world and the lives of many others are inextricably bound to the choices they make and their interpersonal bond and so he finds it very difficult to resent or feel betrayed by the scions on that level lol. he is used to that sort of thing and it resonates with him because the spires were very My Life Was Always Yours with each other too. mildly unhealthy but many things hang in the balance

#CAR LETTING ME FEASTTTTTTTTTTTTT #thank ye...

[shopcat]

i used to talk abt this so much but had to stop bc it rots my brain away but i just find it fucking tragically funny that no one can let go of steve's Past let alone the girlies who hate him cuz they're mad he gets bitches or whatever. like the duffers realised they did a really cool thing by subverting it and following the actors portrayal of a sympathetic "jerky boyfriend" to lead into a nice little redemption arc and they can't seem to themselves overcome this idea that he is constantly having to make up for being a bit of a dickhead when he was 17 and aiding in one single act of public humiliation that he later literally cleaned up + made up for + was forgiven for or the fight that he got BEATEN UP for as the consequence and went to apologise for as well.

and they can't think of anything actually interesting to DO because the duffers actually literally hate him THE NARRATIVE... hates him. and they project this like highschool popular boy thing onto them bc they have complexes and need to see him be pathetic and fail and be a burnout or whatever like PEAKED IN HIGHSCHOOL y'know like he can't move beyond the trope THEY gave him. and he literally barely did anything wrong he wasn't even an active bully he was just a douchebag who cruised by on being nice but had like a "dude stop LMFAO" attitude 😭😭 and people are still TO THIS DAY being like "you were such an asshole" like EVEN ROBIN in the middle of the russian torture where they were about to DIE and fucking EDDIE who objectively hadn't even known him (+ extra just funny when people try and pretend eddie even hates him/steve "bullied" him like i don't think he fucking cared and text does actually MATTER at the end of the day no matter what u WANT to be true if they had any actual history it would've been said..). LIKE mike and dustin combined have been, objectively, way more of a pair of massive tools than highschool steve was ever portrayed as LOL his only crime is to be unfortunately written by the duffers. season 1 steve solos ur faves etc.

#🐾 #robin's reasons for hating him were so funny to ME #sts

[andie-cake]

May I have,,, Ziggs and werewolf Emma hanging out and being homies,,, I just think they’re neat

"Can I ask a stupid question?"

Emma snickered, looking over at Ziggs. The farmhand had lazily draped themself over the armchair, puffing a joint and staring up at the ceiling. Emma herself had taken up residence on the couch, basking in her own high and snacking on a bag of bacon jerky to fend off the munchies. It was a waning crescent moon tonight, and as the sun set over Perky's Buds, Emma watched her fur and claws grow in for the night. It was the weakest stage of her lycanthropy- she still looked more like a really hairy person than a wolf in this form, but it was still noticeable enough for Emma to catch Ziggy watching with awe as her transformation set in for the night.

It'd been a good couple of weeks since Ziggs found out about Emma's whole "being a werewolf" thing, and there was still so much they didn't quite understand about it. They'd gotten used to it, for sure, but they still didn't know the ins and outs of lycanthropy. So the phrase "can I ask a stupid question?" had become a regular part of their vocabulary in the past few weeks, and Emma knew full well that it really meant "can I ask you a question about werewolves?". She didn't mind it, honestly. She'd done much the same for Paul when she first spilled the beans to him, and it was... nice, getting to talk about her beastly nature so casually with normal humans. Especially after going her entire life being told that no human could be trusted with the secrets of lycanthropy.

Emma nodded. "Shoot."

"Okay, so like," Ziggs began. "You said that lycanthropy is like... hereditary, right? Like it's passed down from parent to child?"

"Sure did."

"Does it also work like how it usually works in movies?"

Emma blinked, confused. "What d'you mean?" she asked, looking back towards the farmhand.

"I mean," Ziggs continued, pausing as though they were thinking over their next words. "If you like, bit someone while transformed, would they become a werewolf too?"

Emma couldn't help the guffaw that escaped her, and she could feel her tail wanting to wag from where she was sitting on it (god, it was gonna be so stiff when she stood up later). That was admittedly a new one. There had been some overlap between Paul and Ziggy's lycanthropy questions in the past, but surprisingly, Paul had never asked this one. She'd told him it was a hereditary thing, and he'd not questioned it further. Odd, really, considering Paul's the big movie guy.

"No, Ziggy," Emma replied with a fond chuckle. "We can't turn people into werewolves by biting them."

"Aw, damn..." Ziggs muttered, taking another hit from their joint.

Emma blinked, eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, Ziggs," she said. "If I had said yes to that, were you gonna like... ask me to turn you or something?"

Ziggs' gaze quickly darted to the floor. "I mean, I was kinda thinkin' about it..."

Emma snorted, amused. "Dude, I'm gonna be real with you," she snickered. "Even if I could turn people into werewolves by biting them, you absolutely would not want to be a werewolf."

"Oh, bullshit!" Ziggs exclaimed, not actually sounding mad at all. "Why not?"

"Gimme like three days," Emma responded, holding up three claws. "And I'll write up an itemized list of a hundred reasons why you personally would probably hate being a werewolf."

"C'mon, hit me with one good reason, right here, right now." Ziggs pressed with a roll of their eyes.

Emma hummed, thinking it over. Then, she thought of one, and pulled another piece of bacon jerky from the bag she'd been snacking from.

"Well, here's a big one," she said, biting into the jerky. "Werewolves can't be vegan, or even vegetarian."

Ziggs winced. "Ooh, yeah, hard pass," they conceded with a slow nod. "I wouldn't wanna change my diet that drastically for the sake of having cool claws."

"Yeah, I remember that I tried going vegetarian when I first moved to Guatemala," Emma mused, continuing to munch on the dried pork snack. She shuddered, recalling the memories. "Big mistake, I got so fucking sick for like a month until I started eating meat again."

Ziggs nodded. "Yeah, I'll take the L on this one," they said. "You're right, I couldn't be a werewolf."

Emma chuckled, not totally sure what "take the L" was supposed to mean. Kids these days and their weird, confusing slang...

"Me personally, I don't totally mind that the vegetarian thing didn't work out," she said, happily popping another piece of bacon jerky in her mouth. Between her being high and also being transformed at the moment, this shit was like nectar of the gods. "It just means I have an excuse to eat this crap."

Ziggs snorted. "Perky's jerky." they quipped.

A laugh escaped Emma, probably louder than it should've been. That wasn't even funny, she was just stoned to the bone. Still, she nodded sagely.

"Damn right it is," she agreed. A thought then occurred to her, one she didn't think of bringing up before the conversation diverted to vegetarianism. "Oh, and besides..."

"Besides what?"

"If I could turn people into werewolves by biting them," she said, deep in thought. "Then Carl Metzger would've come banging down our door all covered in hair the night after you found out about my thing, right?"

At Ziggy's befuddled expression, Emma playfully flashed her fangs as a reminder.

"Oh!" they exclaimed, their face lighting up at the recollection. "Oh shit, that's right! I totally forgot you did that!"

Emma giggled, a bit of mischief bubbling up in her. "Yeah, but I bet Carl didn't."

"Yeah, that bite looked like it fuckin' hurt..." Ziggs mused.

'"Yep," Emma agreed with a nod. "Here's hoping it hurt enough to keep the Metzgers off my property for good..."

#dumbass stoner pals shooting the shit: werewolf edition! #hatchetwolves au

[lovejustforaday]

2023 Year End List - #16

16. We Buy Diabetic Test Strips - Armand Hammer

Main genres: Experimental Rap, Abstract Rap

A decent sampling of: Hardcore Rap, Conscious Rap, Industrial Rap, Political Rap, Cloud Rap

Why yes, I am a white nerdy indie rock fan who is also a big fan of experimental hip hop and loves Billy Woods projects. Shocking, I know.

Armand Hammer have been building a reputation for themselves for a good while now as one of the best 'underground' hip hop projects out there. And it isn't hard to see why.

These dudes are mad creative, spitting rhymes with a nice mix of esoteric wordplay and revolutionary messaging over beats that are always disorienting and challenging. And Billy Woods' disciplined, syncopated flow of sharp wit and bleak observations has a lot of natural chemistry with Elucid's more intuitive and rhythmically jerky, hardcore-meets-abstract style.

Shrines was a highlight of my 2020, spent in a lot of isolation and thinking about the systems that had gotten us to this crummy point in time. Meanwhile, 2021's Haram was a little bit less of a memorable project for me.

As for this one - yeah this one might just be my favourite project from the duo yet.

We Buy Diabetic Test Strips is a melting pot of tricky and eccentric beats, anxious, avant-garde production, and a plethora of lyrical topics ranging from religion to philosophy, race, sexual encounters, hustling under capitalism, and subverting the establishment, turning these ingredients into a viscous, complex bitter juice with the distinctly metallic scent of blood. This mf is dense, more so than probably any other rap album I listened to this year.

JPEGMafia's production work is sprinkled throughout this project. Apparently he used to have beef with these guys? Idk, it's exhausting to keep up with artists dissing other artists, and ol' Peggy seems to have beef with a lot of folks. Regardless, the dudes made up, and this has probably been my favourite year for him appearing on projects, between this and his collab album Scaring The Hoes (which just got snubbed from the honourable mentions, but I'm sure plenty enough people have already written praises for that one for their own year end lists anyway).

Anyhow, let's get on with the track breakdowns.

"Woke Up and Asked Siri How I'm Gonna Die" (song title of the year, obviously) is slick fucking cloud rap, like a soft layer of gossamer gauze obscuring images of carnal sex and the ugly feeling of emptiness. Very rapturous sound design throughout.

"When It Doesn't Start With A Kiss" is a maelstrom of a hip hop track, going from bubbly, uncharacteristically melodic electronic production during Elucid's verse efore being completely submerged in echoing, deep sea depths on Billy's.

A chilling marimba line opens "I Keep A Mirror In My Pocket", which turns into a clangorous changing meter featuring vibraphone, toms and kicks, and periodic alarm sounds coming from some weird-ass sample. Hallucinatory and abrasive all at once, like being haunted by some demonic tinnitus. I could see how this track would be off-putting to some with more sensitive ears, but I am a real masochist for the kind of organized chaos displayed on this track.

"The God's Must Be Crazy" tackles the CIA's involvement in the crack cocaine crisis which wreaked havoc in Black American communities in the late 20th century. The beat jitters with fidgety anxiety, brilliantly recreating the atmosphere of journalists unraveling dangerous, classified truths, nervous addicts that can't sit still, and the general horror of bearing witness to a drug crisis. The wordplay on this is also just godlike. Perhaps their best track yet.

I do think the mid-section kind of totally dominates this record. Tracks 4 through 8 are mostly mind-blowing, but then I'm a bit worn down by the last stretch of tracks, penultimate "Switchboard" notwithstanding, which is definitely another standout cut.

It could definitely also be that I just haven't spent enough time with this one - Armand Hammer's music is like a fine wine with many notes, and it takes time to unravel all of the wordsmithery, old hip hop references, socio-political history, and heavily layered production with multi-faceted beats that resist predictability.

Either way, Armand Hammer are still dishing out some of the craziest beats and flows left and right all over this thing. Nobody could call these guys unoriginal, and I don't see the duo slowing down any time soon. We Buy Diabetic Test Strips proves that Armand Hammer are still one of the most essential acts out there that are really working to keep the world of hip hop music endlessly fresh and groundbreaking.

8/10

Highlights: "The Gods Must Be Crazy", "I Keep a Mirror in My Pocket", "Woke Up and Asked Siri How I'm Gonna Die", "When It Doesn't Start With a Kiss", "Switchboard", "Niggardly (Blocked Call)"

#album review #music review #aoty #year end list #list #abstract rap #experimental hip hop #experimental rap #2023 #armand hammer #we buy diabetic test strips #elucid #billy woods

[muggycuphead]

weird flex but ok i guess pt.34

33

War…Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ (and dark themed) designs I made while having funky fever bc o h m y g o d do I get a little crazier every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – AU fanconcept sketches [XXIX]

Ladies and gentlemen, the time we been all waiting for

Pico taking part on the plot wooo

…although again, it’s a rewritten event that separates from both FNF and PS:LCA storylines so prepare for the dumpster fire I’m about to unleash (man am I real insecure when it comes to writing characters I don’t know that deeply, let alone newgrounds characters altogether, vomits)

1. Out to catch the train on my own

Week 3 references? Week 3 references indeed

There isn’t much dialogue here, just BF going to get the metrotro after going out of school (bro came out late bc night turn wowza)

Though the events might be happening a few days after Pico day (can’t specify the year, rip), hence why Pico would be there in the first place

2. Watch for spikes!

(On his way to the train stop, BF notices someone close to his trail) (Startled) “Oh shit!” (BF quickly jumps with his skateboard and leaps above the someone waiting on the stop, landing on the other side, panting a bit)

Can someone please make a joke about skating games I’m out of lines here, help

3. Taking Ls…?

“Boooo… that sucked ass”

(BF looks baffled and annoyed, as he just stands up, holding close his skate with his foot) “I was trying to avoid hitting your ass, bozo”

Jerky Pico for no reason hehehehe…jk

4. Messing around

(The ginger fella walks close to BF, slightly elbowing him as he chuckles) “Ay, I’m just messing with ya, bro! Won’t lie, that was good quick thinking back there. Not that it would have done anything to me, I’ve been gone through worse blows myself, a skateboard hit is of the last things I’d worry about”

(BF smirks) “You’re of the looney ones, aren’tcha?”

(The fella retorts) “More like of the mad ones a bit, but yeah, that could sorta work too” (Looks at him with a raised brow) “Lemme guess, you aren’t from around here, are ya?”

(BF wonders in confusion) “Uh, not really, why’d ya ask?”

(The fella chuckles) “Ah, nothing, just…occasionally people from here that come across my way either go crazy and wow…or simply try to kill me on the spot; last one kinda sucks but -hey!” (Shrugs mid discourse) “It comes with the job after dealing with school shenanigans that go further from mere bullying feuds”

(BF connects the dots with the keywords) “Hold on, wait –No way! You…you’re that Pico guy from the school shooting news from years ago?”

(Pico winks at BF) “Right on the moolah, pal”

(BF is even more baffled) “Nooo, you kidding! You kidding!”

(Pico laughs) “Nah, I’m for real here! Did ya think I was someone else or what?” (Pico makes a gesture with his face) “Don’t worry, this ain’t no Convict behind this body!” (Pico goes for sarcasm) “And even so, it wouldn’t be as good-looking as me, don’tcha think?” (Pico winks again)

(BF laughs at Pico’s mess-a-round, yet is still kind of shocked) “It ain’t that! It’s just…why’d ya come here anyway? Though you’d have your own car and stuff despite…well, y’know”

(Pico shakes his head) “Nah, don’t trust driving at night that much, plus it’s kind of hard to focus on the way cuz, y’know…” (makes a gesture on his head, signing his stature while frowning) “Being this high”

(BF gives him a ‘true bro’ look) “Guess that makes it two of us, eh?”

(Pico offers his fist to BF) “Yep, welcome to the dwarves’ club bro”

(BF brofists Pico) “I was already a member myself, nice to meet another one of the crew”

(Pico chuckles to BF’s response) “Heh, I like your vibe, dude! Say, wanna chat a bit while we wait for the train here?”

(BF nods) “Sure, why not? It ain’t like we’re gonna get startled by any weird clones from outta nowhere, hehe…” (Nervous) “…hopefully”

(Pico pffts) “Even if they do, I’ll just hand them their asses back to where they came from”

Big bruh moment, send help I feel like I don’t understand pico writing and I hate miself fo it, I apologize to the fellow pico fans lord help me-

5. Meeting Newground’s star gunman

“So, what’s your name, bro?”

(BF makes a ‘tip’ with his hat) “BoyFriend, BF or B for shortie, pleasure to meet’cha”

(Pico chuckles) “Boyfriend, huh? Now that’s a peculiar name to give to someone”

“Yeah, although it was more of a ‘funny accident’ when it comes to know why”

“An accident? So you weren’t meant to be named BoyFriend in the first place?”

“Nope. Long story short, the people in charge of my birth certificate or whatever had the name comprehension of a Starbucks employee with a really bad hearing skill, and they ‘telephone-game’-ed the name my parents wanted to give me into well, BoyFriend... And well, here we are!”

“And you don’t have anything against that? Since, well…y’know”

“Nah, honestly it’s not a big deal to me at this point. Heck, even my parents thought it’d be awkward for me back when I was a wee boy, and I didn’t really care that much about it even when I knew what it actually meant. If I did, I’d have changed it a long time ago.” (BF gets smug) “Besides, it’s quite a nice ‘icebreaker’ when you hang out with the ladies” (BF winks at Pico)

(Pico laughs) “Hah, I bet it is!” (Pico gently punches BF on the arm) “Still, gotta admire your resilience on that! Wouldn’t wanna know how it was back at your street when you were around the others, little fellas can be nasty for sure, I’d know”

“Eh, it didn’t really come to it that often, and even if it did, I got my own guns to deal with it” (BF vacillates) “…Figuratively speaking of course, unlike ya, hehe”

(Pico smirks) “Hey, don’t sweat it; guns might do most of the job when stuff takes a turn for the worst, but diplomacy’s way of a better option honestly in more than one sense…unless you go to Nevada. That’s a whole different story”

(BF nods in understanding) “Yeah, can guess why considering the stuff I’ve heard from there”

Bangitty

#fnfau #bfsh #friday night funkin' #fnf au #au concept #au #alternative timeline #alt universe #alternate universe #picos school #go pico ye ye

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 185

Clip Show

“Clip Show”

Plot Description: as the third trial nears, Sam and Dean reunite with Castiel. They stumble upon an undiscovered film, which could be the key to the third trial

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I…think so? The only supernatural being I’ve ever encountered was the ghost cat from my old house. I’m not sure if whatever’s going on here is targeting people who’ve previously had supernatural shit happen to them OR been saved by the Winchesters, but either way I think I’m okay

Poor Dean having to take care of these two.

Or……..he’s just taking care of Sam. Awkward.

Man. I’m such a Castiel apologist. Sam’s on my side here. Thank you, Sammmmm. Lighten up. He got fuckin shot

Oh shit. I forgot about the dungeon in the Men of Letters bunker

Omggggg. First, the immediate casual-ness with which Sam starts referencing their new found dungeon and then Cas asking “your what?”

Omgggg, Dean. You should listen to Cas. The switch in Latin is PROBABLY IMPORTANT

That’s such a cruel “get better.” That wasn’t a “I hope you feel better/heal soon” it’s a “get gud” one. A “be a better person” one. I’m so mad at Dean. Be nicer to Cas!!

Is…is this an apology gift? Beer? Jerky? Porn? Pie? It sure looks like an apology gift for Dean…and then some toilet paper for good measure

I don’t know who I trust less: Naomi or Metatron. I feel like he’s playing Castiel. OMG HE WANTS TO SEAL HEAVEN.

What is it with angels craving crepes? First Aziraphael now Metatron?

Oh holy shit. Dude actually cures a demon…how’s Sam’s blood gonna cure a demon??

Omg…Metatron IS playing Cas like a fucking fiddle. And part of me is wondering if he’s even leading Cas to close off Heaven or if that’s a cover.

Oh, stitched back together Abbadon is even hotter…ugh, except for how she’s treated. I forgot how awful they are to her (both the boys and the writers)

Oh but she is crafty. I LIKE her. Not giving her her hands back didn’t stop them from being part of her, and wouldn’t keep them from being animated, and couldn’t stop her from digging the bullet with the devil’s trap on it out of her skull

Ok, so whatever it is IS going after people the boys have helped. So, yeah, I WOULD survive

Crowley is PERSONALLY going after the people they’ve helped til they get him the demon tablet and stop the trials. I also love that he’s read the supernatural books

Cas please don’t. Don’t do it. Don’t rip out this poor girl’s heart. She doesn’t deserve it…well, guess THOSE trials are starting now

(I lost some notes because tumblr fucked up but it’s fine I’ll…write what I remember)

She would have LIVED if they’d smashed the phone Crowley had called earlier?? That’s where the hex bag was??

What a fun change from the beginning of the ep when Dean had zero doubts Sam was gonna finish the trials…now, Sam wants to take Crowley’s deal

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

[the-firebird69]

When do you see with our son is saying and daughter that these people at the house are trying to get him to stay there not go anywhere and a threatening him and they don't like it because they go out there and people threaten them with all sorts of things and when they try and keep him there they can beat up and it's a challenge for them because I have people do not want them doing that in other words they don't want them holding him there and it is a problem so they did the stupid thing out of tea Park now I'm going to tell you it's not right and not fair but it says it's because of long guns I need you before too the same people over at the park so we're wondering why and referred to us that they don't have it handle on things in the water this came true not to mention here they're kind of very very annoying people and we're going to have to do something today

Thor Freya

They're under indictment for serious charges and more charges are going to be brought up once they go to court and they will not be able to get out of it they have done some very bad things and they are going to be brought the trial and they're going to be probably executed for what they have done anytime he has to sit there with them stinky and jerky and them threatening him it's been horrible the whole world has gone through this and they are nasty people and right now they're trying to threaten to find me and people see how horrible they are they are nasty and creatures.

Hera

It's going to be just a few moments before his back over there and we can see them Nash in their teeth and seeing all sorts of stuff and the police and sheriff are angry and we don't mean the ones that are them of course and their bums okay but for instance they will not stopping anything that's what they say that's foolish they have him doing things and it's a parallel and we don't understand why they're saying it no we do it's just foolish to say and it really has to be proven that it's foolish so they are going to be apprehended this evening and of course don't believe it tons of people are going to be after them shortly.

Thor Freya

We have all sorts of warrants and APD on them and they're not aware of it and they're sitting there following him around on the bus and they're ridiculous it is yeah there's going to be a problem with them and we're going to get in their face and we're going to take them in. I am not used to people with this attitude and I've seen it been so bad it hurts makes people with all the time and they think they're getting somewhere and really they're just getting two people and making them mad who sings are going to become a parent to them that they were wrong but the question is when it's taking so long for them to get it and we don't have forever to wait for them to understand how badly they can make a mistakes. Like to hold a big meeting with everybody I'm really tired of this dude is under indictment and he acts like nothing happened it's not right

Mac daddy

We're not all criminals in the way he is he's ridiculous is a scarf lie doesn't go pay the law and says he doesn't have to it's ridiculous isn't doing any job right either it's so sickening it's going around rooting signs driving into things and doing it on purpose. I mean he's trying to intercept him from getting back this is terrible that the guy has to go away

Mac daddy

I saw a pool down in the neighborhood and it didn't come down because the wire was holding up and he actually hit it and said he did it to keep him from leaving the neighborhood I said you're you're thinking like an animal and he just kept saying it and when I say this I don't want to hear anybody saying anything that's stupid around him and here too so obviously an idiot so they say and they've missed a lot of stuff and he's got away with a lot of stuff and it's going to get away with more stuff as long as these idiots are attached to him

Mike tew

Boy are we done we got him to admit it says is admitting on purpose and you haven't found any of us and I had children right in front of you and your freedom so I don't really get it but I guess people been saying it.

Trump

Through winter Joe Watts took advantage of you tons of times you won't stop doing this dumb stuff I told you what we're doing and you can't even remember it there's so many things that you do wrong I can't tell other people I mean let's be real

Hera

I'm going to tell you two are pain I don't see what you're doing so I don't care

Trump

Good. Your all done then trump

Mac and yeah you're ruined the Cuban thing and you're going to pay for it and a whole bunch of other stuff

Mac daddy

Yeah I tell you it's kind of my job as a rebel

Trump

Nope they say it too

Mac

[floraflorafloraflorafloraflora]

hey man hey dude nice tone man i like your guitar man what is that a epiphone oh a gretsch nice what is that humbuckers with a bigsby those things are the real deal nice fender man i used to have a old one how do you like it you like stevie ray vaughn im trying to start a band play real music like you guys you guys are good its not often you get to see some real music these days everythings all bullshit you got a card my buddy owns a bar you guys should play there he makes his own beer its 12 percent its crazy you guys should play there you know joe jeff he plays there he played there with jimmy joe last week it was crazy you would really like him you guys should collab whats your number ill send it to him hes got a real down low down south swampy kinda muddy dirty real gritty raw and real authentic kinda down in the dirt kinda stevie ray vaughn kinda funky bluesy sort of thing you would really like him he used to guitar tech for roadhog jenkins back in the 90s he still has one of his original humbuckers off his axe he used on rockin roadhog vol. 1 its the one on the cover with all the blood on it he still got some of the original bloodstain on it too you got any videos on youtube im gonna send it to my cousin he works for fender he can get you endorsed if he likes what he sees he can get you on fenderfest side stage its gonna be crazy this year roadhog jr. is gonna be there with half his dads original band from the 90s if you sell 100 tickets you get to meet them and get autographs and they got these wicked cheese pretzel bites food truck thats off the chain you gotta try it they put bacon in the pretzel its crazy you ever heard of buc-ees the guy who runs the truck used to be the head chef at buc-ees corporate thats why its so good you ever had the buc-ees ranch jerky its so good i got a case coming in the mail im on buc-ee rewards so if i order bulk i get mad discounts you smoke you wanna hit this delta 8 pen i got it at bucees it looks empty but theres some left in there you just gotta pull hard sorry it smells like poop i work in the toilet what country are you from?

[trickrydomain]

MEMES FROM THE GODLESS LAND OF TIKTOK REVISITED

              the below prompts are a mix of general thoughts, 2am thoughts, suggestive prompts, and some nihilistic / possibly triggering prompts related to self reflection.

your bones are wet.

i prefer my puns intended.

alexa, turn off my emotions.

i’m baby, and i’m fucking cute.

you have failed the vibe check.

beef jerky is just meat raisins.

*brandishing a knife* cuddle me.

the point of golf is to play less golf.

i’m shaving my legs, then i’m on my way.

do you like potatoes? no? then fuck you.

the gods don’t want to fuck you!! stop!!

listen here you delicious fuck, i like you.

bold of you fucks to assume that i’m not god.

i can be your comfort and your favorite threat.

what’s your toxic trait? mine is being a bitch.

i want to suck you in like my one last cigarette.

hey did you hear there’s mercury in the gatorade.

that’s…that’s it? that’s your evil villain excuse?

who the fuck is playing music at 2 in the morning?!

are cakes with filling just really thick sandwiches?

i want you every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

i’m big spoon. i may be a backpack, but i’m big spoon.

if asexual is “shagnostic”, are bisexuals “ambisextrous”?

which one of you motherfuckers snitched on me to my mom?!

you come over here right now and smack my ass like a drum.

i’m a top! i may be a crop top, but i’m still a fucking top.

what song do you think could be made in to a good sea shanty?

( sender tries to lift a heavy rock to impress the receiver.)

if bears aren’t meant to be hugged, why are they friend-shaped?

if your tongue sticks when you lick it it’s a bone! *clap clap*

you’re the best kind of fucking person and i would die for you.

i didn’t see that coming. probably because i had my back turned.

living people eat dead mushrooms. living mushrooms eat dead people.

fried eggs and fried chicken are different stages of the same food.

shiny knick knacks go click clack *shakes [small objects] together*

one day, i wanna be rich enough that my big fridge has a lil fridge.

the neighbors don’t take care of their dog so i guess it’s mine now.

you want my last name? that’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.

i’m compact, okay? i know i’m small but that doesn’t mean i’m not strong.

this dude thinks he can seduce me with his jawline? *a scoff* he’s right.

mercury might be in gatorade, but the pug had bones. let’s get this bread.

my electronic toothbrush died, so now i have to brush my teeth acoustically.

the only b-word i’ll ever call you is beautiful. (a pause) i love you, bitch.

i don’t know why people call it the roof of their mouth when it’s the ceiling.

i believe there are aliens in the ocean and nobody ever fucking listens to me.

i’m….so sorry….i’ve learned….my lesson (throws an object to distract and runs away).

i just found out what a biblically correct angel looks like and honestly, i’m scared.

trauma isn’t just the bad things that happened. it’s also the good things that never came.

if you’re sad or mad, shove that shit down deep and eat an uncrustable like the rest of us.

i called you to this meeting because i’m sad and you’re supposed to do something about that.

you want to take a shower? you gotta knock on the wall and ask the water to come out nicely.

flirt with me just right and, as long as you respect my boundaries, you could unlock my wares.

there’s the saying ‘you are what you eat’…now i’m concerned for the people who say ‘i’m baby’.

i was doing stuff with my birth chart and i was not prepared to learn that the moon knows i’m gay.

don’t you hate it when you’re trying to pick a scenario to fall asleep to and there’s nothing good on?

i’m just saying, when you go underwater, you enter a dimension where you can fly but you can’t breathe.

do you know who gets sent in when people want to act a fool? this basic bitch who’s secretly full of rage.

the only way capitalism can become beneficial is if it becomes legal to eat the rich once they become too wealthy.

sure my body’s a temple, but you know what? some temples are unkempt and falling apart and maybe a little bit haunted.

in other news, the sexual position known as 69 will now be called 96. due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

i was just walking outside and it looks like someone fell (evidence that they are the one that fell) i feel bad for that idiot.

god making me was like, “little bit of sugar, little bit of spice, little bit of everything nice…and a big ol’ heaping handful of bitch.”

i was single for a long time, like a long time. but then i met the love of my life. he is my boyfriend - he doesn't know it yet, but he is.

are you under the impression that i allow everyone in my life to treat me like this, or are you asking me to make an exception just for you? answer quickly.

look, what i’m saying is an apology is not worth saying if you don’t feel bad about what you did and it’s not really an apology unless it features an admission of fault and a promise to not repeat the behavior.

i don’t know what happened but the toilet is smoking! ( cut to inside a bathroom, two rolls of toilet paper have been placed on the closed lid to resemble eyes, and a tube is pinned between the lid and seat, resembling a cigar )

#✑ memes — ᴍᴜꜱᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛꜱ . #// feel free to reblog without sending

[tiefling-queer]

ooh, controversial horror movie opinion for spooky season!

jump scares aren’t inherently bad.

in horror (as with all art), it’s really important to consider your medium, its purpose, and its strengths/weaknesses. film allows for great immersion, but with that immersion comes the balancing act of controlling your audience’s tension.

there are many tools for controlling tension - lighting, music, sound design, staging and shot composition - another incredibly helpful tool for controlling tension in a horror movie is a jump scare.

let’s set the scene. it’s the start of a movie. the characters are only just getting introduced. you know this is a scary movie, so you’re tense, on the ready to be scared. the main character gets distracted by something creepy. the shot composition is a little uncanny. the music and sound cues tell you something scary is going to happen - and then, bam! something jumps out! the frighten has been done!

it’s just one of the other characters, playing a prank. the main character gets mad at them. the music picks back up to a brighter tone. and, most importantly, the audience relaxes a little. it’s the beginning of the movie - trying to maintain and build on the tension that’s already elevated all throughout the first act could undermine the setup, or be nearly impossible with the rest of the movie’s pacing, so getting that first scare out of the way eases everyone into the movie, resets the tension and allows it to build back up again at the director’s intended pace.

alternatively, a jump scare can be employed in opposition to audience tension in order to maximize a scare. for example: the insidious jump scare

this is the jump scare that made me love jump scares. let’s set the scene: there’s some spooky shit happening, the psychic is doing a drawing, we’re expecting the demon to show up at any moment, the music’s going wild, the shots are jerky and the lighting’s all over the place - everything, everything about the scene builds tension higher and higher and-

and then everything is normal. it’s all calm. the tension drops suddenly as all the visual and sound cues tell us that the characters (and we, by extension) are safe.

and then, boom! shot changes and the demon is right fucking behind the dude and oh my god did that get audiences. the shrieks! the shouts! the weird strangled noise that i make instead of a normal fear noise!

i don’t think i’d remember that scene, or that movie at all, really, if it had just given us the monster when the tension was already high. but that jump scare scene stood out to me.

now, any tool if used poorly can lessen the quality of a work. bad lighting and shot composition can ruin a scene. music and sound design can drastically affect the way a scene feels. jump scares used too often, or in poorly placed scenes, can completely screw up where the audience’s tension is at and leave them either too tense or nowhere near tense enough for the following sequences. but strategically used jump scares can help keep audience tensions on track with the pacing of the movie and its scares.

i think a lot of people who think ‘jump scare’ think maze game, or the car on the hill video, or a screamer, and i don’t think it’s fair to compare scares put in a horror movie, which people are watching specifically to be frightened by, to a lame prank video meant to startle someone who has no idea what’s coming.

but, like, i’ve also seen people say that using music and sound to set a scene in a horror movie is ‘cheating’ and ‘lazy’, and all i can really say to that is that maybe you don’t like movies? or maybe you don’t understand that film works differently from literature, and that the tools employed by both to create atmosphere are completely different? who knows.

#emo poetry #horror movies #in defense of jump scares #long post #ope

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Among Us idea: Because I'm a little bit obsessed with game mechanics and glitches in fic...how about a round where one of the Hermits gets left behind? The game ends, and everyone but them is transported to the lobby, but they're just left on an empty ship flying eternally to some destination it will never reach... All the tasks are done. There's nothing left to do. So why is the game still keeping them there? And how do they escape? (It could also be two people left, if writing just one alone would be boring. Your choice who!)

SKSKSKSKSK HOW DO YOU DO THIS I’VE BEEN PLANNING OUT AN IDEA IN MY HEAD FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS IN WHICH TWO PLAYERS ACCIDENTALLY GET LEFT BEHIND HOW DO YOU KEEP READING MY MIND (/lh)

also i had a kind of idea to expand the concept a little bit and i hope that’s okay :)

also also i too love the ideas that utilise glitches or kinda ignore game mechanics; they're always so interesting to write! :D

…

Having finished his tasks a long time ago and not being teleported to any meetings lately, Skizz wanders around the whole ship, trying to find a friend. A buddy. Or literally anyone. But the ship seems deserted.

Finally, Skizz wanders into admin and checks the special table.

To his shock, he finds only two yellow faces on the screen: one in admin and one in cafeteria. So he rushes into the cafeteria and literally bumps into someone coming the other way.

“Oh my gosh, FINALLY,” Impulse breathes. “Where IS everyone?”

Skizz glances away, unable to meet his best friend’s gaze. “We have a problem.”

Impulse frowns. “What?” he asks warily.

“Um…” Skizz rubs the back of his neck. “So… it seems we’re the only two people on the ship.”

It takes a moment for Impulse’s brain to process what his friend just said. “...what?”

“I looked around the whole ship and then went to the admin table. There were only two yellow dots: me and you. There’s literally nobody else anywhere on the ship, dude.”

“But… I…” Impulse blinks. “How is that possible? Did the game end and leave us behind, somehow?”

“I feel like that’s the only possible explanation, but at the same time, it makes no sense.”

“Well, if this IS what happened, it’s gotta be a glitch, right?” says Impulse.

Skizz nods. “Gotta be. But now the question is… how do we get outta here?”

Impulse gazes around the room. “The game always automatically puts us back in the lobby when we’re done, so… I don’t think there’s a way of manually doing it.”

Skizz stares back at him with wide eyes. “You mean we’re stuck in THIS particular ship forever?!”

“W-Well, hopefully not FOREVER,” Impulse responds nervously. “I’m sure they’ll have realised we’re missing by now and they’ll be trying to get us back.”

“But what if they can’t?!” Skizz yelps. “We’ll be trapped in this purgatory forever!”

“Not helping, Skizz,” snaps Impulse. “We’ll be totally fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, like I can have ANY faith in your words anymore,” mutters Skizz, turning away.

Impulse glances sharply at him, sensing that his best friend’s words aren’t about Among Us. Not entirely. “What do you mean?”

Skizz just rolls his eyes and walks off.

Impulse watches him go. Looks like Skizz hasn’t been so quick to forgive and forget after all. Now the way Skizz was acting around him earlier makes sense.

After making a quick trip around the ship, Impulse discovers Skizz sitting leaning against the wall in admin, tossing a stack of ID cards at the wall one at a time.

“Still no way off,” Impulse reports. “Looks like we’re stuck here until they rescue us. Flying through space. On a ship heading to nowhere. An endless journey. With nothing except-.”

“Yes, okay, I get it!” Skizz snaps at him.

After a moment, Impulse leans against the admin table. “Skizz, you’ve been acting weird around me all night. I think we need to talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk.”

“C’mon. We’re stuck here on a ship on our own for the foreseeable future. There’s no better time to talk than now.”

“Okay!” snaps Skizz unexpectedly, jumping to his feet. “FINE! You wanna talk?! I don’t care! You did a LOT of talking back there on 3rd Life and not a word of it was true!”

Impulse frowns. “Is that what this is about?”

Skizz’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. “WH- WHAT DO YOU MEAN “is that what this is about”?! You say that like I’m mad at you for stealing my sandwich! Impulse, you LIED to me, BETRAYED me, and then watched Grian KILL me! You told me over and over again that you were on my side and you were loyal to us but you planned to betray us from the start! Y-You planned to betray ME. Do you-” He breaks off with a bitter laugh. “You know what, I was gonna say “do you have any idea how much that hurts?” but you DO, don’t you? Because your own ally turned on you. And murdered you. And you know what? YOU DESERVED IT!”

Impulse can only stare at his best friend with an expression of guilt and sadness.

“I wanted you to go far, dude! I wanted you to win at one point!” Skizz’s voice cracks. “I thought you were the best of us but it turns out you were nothing but a dirty liar and a traitor! I thought “oh, his strategy of playing all sides is pretty smart, actually, but he’s gonna have to pick a side at some point” but I didn’t realise that meant pretending to pick a side and then STABBING THEM IN THE BACK! Of all the- the jerky things to do! You pick the worst one! I-I just don’t understand how you could do that to someone you’ve been a brother to for A QUARTER OF A CENTURY! GOD, you SO deserved to die and the biggest regret of my life is that I didn’t get imposter tonight so I could stab you in the FACE!”

Skizz finally stops talking, breathing heavily. He takes in a deep breath, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Wow… I did not expect to yell that much…”

“I…” Impulse searches for something to say. But he can’t find anything. “I don’t…”

“You don’t have to say anything, Impulse.” Skizz gives a weak smile. “I-I think I just needed to… to let my feelings out.”

“You just needed to yell at me, huh? I get that.”

“Haha, yeah. Remember that time I snuck onto Hermitcraft and did a bunch of reckless things and then died, and you didn’t know if I was gonna respawn or not?”

Impulse nods, a small smile appearing on his face. “That’s what I was indirectly referring to. I think my throat hurt from yelling at you for, like, two weeks after that.”

“Are we even now, then?” asks Skizz.

“Well, I mean… Probably not. I still have a lot to make up for.”

Skizz shakes his head. “No, it… it’s okay. We all did things in that place that we’re not proud of.”

“Even the great Skizzleman?” teases Impulse weakly.

“Oh heck yeah. I still have nightmares about how I violently murdered two of my friends and how bloodthirsty I felt for so long. It freaks me out that I got to that point, man. Even in Among Us when I murder people, even you, I never got THAT bad.”

“Yeah, 3rd Life was…” Again, Impulse searches for the right word. “...an experience. In more ways than one.”

“It really was,” Skizz murmurs, letting out a long breath. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have let it affect Among Us so much.”

“No, it’s okay. And we can-.”

Impulse breaks off Skizz suddenly disappears in front of him. Blinking, he just has time to take a step forward before the admin room vanishes and he finds himself back in the lobby.

With eight people staring at him.

“Oh my gosh, finally!” Tango gasps, grabbing both Impulse and Skizz in a hug. “Are you guys okay?”

“We’re fine, dude,” laughs Skizz quietly. “We just yelled at each other a bit, that’s all.”

Impulse chuckles. “Well, it was mostly Skizz doing the yelling.”

“Yeah, true. How did you guys even manage to get us out?”

“The insane genius that is Etho hacked into the code and managed to force the round to end again,” Tango responds. “Somehow. I dunno how. Took us a while to figure out what’d happened, though.”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen that glitch before,” Etho chimes in. “There was six left, Grian and Ren double-killed me and Pungence to win, and that should’ve been it. The rest of us respawned in the lobby but we realised you two were missing.”

“Whoa, that’s so weird.” Skizz exchanges a look with Impulse. “Cuz for us, it was like the round just hadn’t ended.”

“Yeah, we’d both done all our tasks and we had no idea anything had happened.”

“What did you guys do?”

Impulse and Skizz shoot each other another look, silently making a mutual decision. “Just talked a bit and tried to look for a way out,” Impulse replies. “That’s all.”

Tango frowns, clearly picking up on the slight tension between them, but he doesn’t mention it. “Okay. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen again.”

“Yeah.”

Skizz thinks back to the way he’d exploded at Impulse, and the way Impulse had looked at him with fear in his eyes. All the fury, the despair, the hurt… It had all spilled out at once. Skizz never wants to feel that way again.

“Let’s hope not.”

#hermitcraft among us #impulsesv #skizzleman #tangotek #etho #vaunna’s requests

[ceaderblocks]

Like Real People Do

A collab with @mine-sara-sp ! She drew the amazing art for this fic ♡ 

Iskall was in the middle of working on Sahara with Mumbo when he realized a very important, completely out-of-the-blue fact.

Iskall had been hanging around Mumbo for years before realizing they had never done a redstone grind together. Sure, they had gone End Busting and raided the Nether together, but they had never once strip mined for redstone.

“What a waste!” Iskall said out loud, slamming a shulker box down on the ground with much more force then required.

“What’s a waste?” Mumbo startled, looking at Iskall after his sudden outburst.

“You are!” Iskall gestured to Mumbo with both arms. The redstoner looked offended, and then a little hurt.

“Well, I think my skills are valuable and contribute greatly-“

“No, no, no no no,” Iskall cut him off. “You’re a magnet to redstone. You always seem to mine a bazillion shulker boxes-“

“It’s easy to find!”

“-and it’s a waste I haven’t gone mining with you. If we go together, you’ll do your weird redstone-attraction thing, and I’ll be set for the season! Plus, I need more for Sahara anyways.”

“... Do we need to go right now?”

“Yes,” Iskall said cheerfully, placing his hands on his hips. “I accidentally broke the last repeater I had when I slammed that shulker box down.”

Fifteen minutes later, Mumbo and Iskall found themselves underground in a long, hollow strip mine.

“Alright,” Iskall rubbed his hands together. “Let’s get mining! I’ll take the left side, you take the right.”

“What?” Mumbo asked, scrunching his nose in confusion. “Why?”

Iskall stared at Mumbo for a moment.

“So we can spread out and quicken out chances of finding redstone?” Iskall said, suddenly uncertain of his plan.

“Oh, well there’s a vein three blocks down and to the right,” Mumbo said, pointing in the general area he had just stated.

“Dude, what.”

“Can’t you feel it?” Mumbo asked.

“No! Oh my god, Mumbo,” Iskall squished his friend’s face between his hands. “How much redstone have you inhaled to get this superpower?”

“Well- I mean- well, you know,” Mumbo stuttered, gesturing wildly.

“Can you do this for other blocks?” Iskall asked, Mumbo’s face still in his hands.

Mumbo shook his head. “Just redstone.”

“That’s insane!” Iskall said with a laugh, dropping his hands. “You might want to get Xisuma to check that out, it doesn’t seem right.”

“Oh,” Mumbo said, his face falling. It was news to him that other hermits couldn’t detect redstone. Iskall said it was wrong, but Mumbo, from his first memory, could always sense redstone.

“It’s alright dude,” Iskall said, and threw an arm around Mumbo’s shoulder. “I don’t think it's an immediate health concern. Plus, we still have redstone to get!”

Iskall patted Mumbo’s chest with his free hand, spun away from him and pulled out his pickaxe in one smooth motion.

“Let’s get mining!”

Mumbo agreed nervously and directed Iskall where the nearest vein of redstone was.

That night, covered in redstone, Mumbo sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his red shulker box. It hummed with power, and Mumbo could see the faint outline of the redstone dust wrapped in a bag. He wondered why no one else could see it too.

——

Grian stood in front of Mumbo’s witch farm, humming to himself. He needed some goldstone (and gunpowder), and decided to borrow some while Mumbo was AFK. The problem was Mumbo was AFK inside the witch farm, which threw a very large wrench in Grian’s plan.

“I can sneak around while he’s AFK! It’ll be fiiine.” Grian said to himself. “It’s not like he’s awake.”

With his pep-talk out of the way, Grian opened the door to the farm. He immediately gave a small scream as he came face-to-face with Mumbo, staring directly at him.

“Oh!” Grian gave a nervous laugh. “Hey Mumbo! I was just coming to borrow some glowstone!”

Mumbo didn’t respond. In fact, he didn’t react at all. Grian frowned.

“Uh, hello? Mumbo?” The builder waved his hand in front of Mumbo’s face. The redstoner stared on, unblinking.

“Oh! You’re AFK? Who AFK’s with their eyes open?” Grian asked. Leaning forwards, he frowned.

“Don’t your eyes get dry?” Grian asked. “You really are AFK. I can basically see the loading screen in your brain.”

Grian scoffed, and stood back. Then he frowned, and leaned forwards. Now that he was looking, there was something in Mumbo’s eyes. It didn’t seem like a reflection, either. As Grian looked closer, he could see three circles ellipsing themselves, moving constantly to create a sphere shape.

“Huh, it kinda looks like a screensaver,” Grian said, tilting his head and leaning in closer to admire Mumbo’s eyes.

“Kinda like NPC rebooting...” Grian muttered. He was much too close, their noses almost touching when Mumbo suddenly blinked, the sphere shrinking and being replaced with a pupil. Grian shrieked and jumped back, but Mumbo didn’t respond for a moment, robotically blinking again before giving his head a small shake, emotion returning to his face.

“Grian!” He said. “What’re you doing- hey, are you okay? You look kind of pale.”

“Oh! I, uh,” Grian waved his hands around, trying to come up with an excuse why he had been nose-to-nose with Mumbo. “I was, uh, stealing glowstone?”

“Oh, you just had to ask.” Mumbo said, unfazed.

“Wait, do you not…” Grian paused. Mumbo had a terrible poker face, and would tease Grian mercilessly about this interaction. But he wasn’t. It was almost like he wasn’t aware it had happened, which was impossible.

NPC sometimes takes a few moments to reboot and never remembers the first 5 seconds of waking up. A rogue thought in Grian’s head provided.

But NPC was a machine, and Mumbo was not, and Grian was a little thrown off by the whole thing.

“Gri?” Mumbo asked, looking concerned.

“You know what? I just remembered I had some at home. Bye!” Grian said hurriedly, snatching rockets from his inventory and flying off.

“What in the world was that?” Grian asked himself, a large frown on his face and worry in his mind. “People don’t need to reboot.”

——

The more Grian thought about his interaction, the more concerned he became. He knew how robots acted, and Mumbo was not a robot. Uncapping his marker, Grian set to work writing everything down on his large whiteboard.

Robotic Traits. He wrote, underlining the title.

Robotic Movements

Rebooting when AFK or offline

Monotone or simple emotions

Overly polite

Grian paused, and added a smaller bullet point under the last.

(except when trying to kill me or take over the server)

He started on his next list, switching to a red marker and drawing an arrow from each robotic point to an explanation of why Mumbo Jumbo couldn’t possibly be a robot.

Mumbo Jumbo

Robotic Motions -> He’s just lanky and exhausted most of the time

Rebooting when AFK or offline -> dissociation(?)

Monotone or simple emotions -> mumbo is deadpan

Overly Polite -> ???

(except when trying to kill me or take over the server)

Grian sighed. His answers weren’t very convincing to anyone, let alone his own paranoia. He had been killed and kidnapped by both NPC Grian and Robot Grian in the past, and he couldn’t get Mumbo’s AFK loading icon out of his head. What if Mumbo wasn’t really a robot, but had been replaced by his own copy? What if this mechanical copy of his friend was trying to overtake the server? What had it done with the real Mumbo?

How long had the real Mumbo been gone for?

“Dude,” Iskall said, breaking Grian out of his spiraling thoughts. “What is… this?”

“It’s, uh,” Grian paused, trying to think of an explanation. “Well, I think Mumbo has been kidnapped and replaced by an evil machine counterpart.”

“...What?” Iskall said, letting out a nervous chuckle upon seeing how serious Grian was.

“No! Seriously!” Grian grabbed Iskall’s shoulders. “Listen, I’ve been replaced by robots many times in my past-”

“ You Have!?”

“-And I know what they act like! Seriously, Mumbo is always jerky and uncoordinated, just like Robot Grian. He’s suspiciously polite, almost like manners have been programmed into him! Plus I saw him wake up from AFK just a few hours ago, Iskall, it wasn’t natural. He rebooted.”

Iskall stared at him for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

“Well,” He finally settled on saying, gently removing Grian’s hands from his shoulders. “That certainly is a theory.”

“You don’t believe me?” Grian cried, wrapping his arms around his torso, clearly distressed.

“Woah, woah,” Iskall said, “It’s not that I don’t believe you! It would explain Mumbo’s weird redstone mining.”

“His what?”

“He can, like, see it through blocks. It was so strange. He could also feel it when it was deeper,” Iskall said, deep in thought. “It was very useful when we were mining it, but it was very odd.”

“Oh my god,” Grian muttered, and sat down on a nearby shulker box. “He’s a machine. Mumbo’s been replaced.”

“Oh Grian,” Iskall placed a comforting hand on Grian’s back. “Let’s not jump ahead, okay? Why don’t we get more information first?”

Grian brought his head from his hands and nodded in silent agreement. He just prayed that Mumbo wasn’t suffering like he had.

----

Embarrassingly enough, it took Mumbo almost a week to notice Grian’s silence and avoidance of him. No more Sahara meetings were called, and Grian often said the bare minimum to him. Uncomfortable, Mumbo brought it up to Iskall once while they worked on Sahara together.

“Hey Iskall?”

“Hmm?” his friend responded, chest deep in a shulker box.

“Is… Is Grian mad at me?”

Iskall’s head hit the top of the box, and he let out a short curse. “Why would you think that?”

“I feel like he’s been avoiding me. Since he swung by my witch farm last week, actually.” Mumbo said, frowning. If he said something that made Grian angry or uncomfortable, he wanted to apologize for it.

“Nah,” Iskall said with a lackluster shrug. If Mumbo had been paying attention he would’ve seen the sweat on Iskall’s brow. “I think he’s just busy.”

“Oh,” Mumbo said.

“Speaking of busy,” Iskall stood. “I’ve got to go grab more redstone. I’m out. See you in a bit!”

“Okay,”  Mumbo said, his friend flying off with a wave.

Biting his lip, Mumbo noticed Iskall left his Redstone shulker box. They had just gone redstone mining a week ago, had Iskall run out that quickly? Mumbo opened the shulker box (not that he needed to) but he hoped the red outline he could see around it would be wrong for once.

He inhaled sharply.

It was full.

Sighing, Mumbo closed it. He decided that instead of overthinking why his friends were suddenly ignoring him and lying to him, he’d work on redstone instead.

Redstone, at least, was easily fixable.

-----

Cleo stood in front of Sahara, her face scrunched in an unpleasant emotion. Something in the shopping district stunk, and she followed her nose to find out what. It had led her to the redstone part of Sahara, overwhelming her senses.

It wasn’t a stench that could be smelt by normal hermits. She knew it well, it was her own. It was the stench of magic overworking itself to keep something alive.

Whatever this magic was keeping alive, it was working very, very hard.

“Hello?” She called out. “Wow, you guys need an air freshener in this place- oh! Mumbo!”

“Hello, Cleo!” Mumbo said cheerfully.

Cleo smiled, watching the redstone-covered hermit approach. Then she frowned.

“Mumbo, you smell dead.” Cleo said. “Well, not dead. You smell... un-alive.”

“I- wow. I don’t know what to say.” Mumbo said with an awkward laugh.

Cleo leaned closer, taking an intense sniff. Mumbo leaned backwards, a little uncomfortable.

“Yeah. It’s you.” Cleo confirmed. “What’re you working on?”

“Oh, uh... redstone?” Mumbo said, gesturing to himself, very confused with the whole scenario. His usually neat suit was covered in redstone, the red dust already settled in his hair.

“Are Grian and Iskall here?” Cleo asked. Mumbo made a face at that.

“Uh, no, actually. I haven’t seen them in a while.”

“How long is a while?” Cleo asked, pushing past Mumbo and walking into the redstone circuitry.

“Oh, uh, maybe two weeks?” Mumbo said, frowning and fiddling with a ring on his finger.

“Huh,” Cleo said. “It’s because you need a shower.”

“Excuse me?” Mumbo said.

“Seriously, you smell like redstone and overheating code.”

“I showered this morning, thank you!” Mumbo said, a little angry.

“Then why,” Cleo turned and poked Mumbo in the chest, a small amount of redstone poofing off his suit. “Do you smell like an overheating machine?”

“I don’t-“ Mumbo stopped talking when Cleo took another long sniff.

“Mumbo, are you human?” She asked suddenly.

“What-“ Mumbo was furious. “Yes! Of course I am! God Cleo, what is wrong with you?”

Mumbo grabbed rockets from his inventory with much more aggression then they probably deserved. He lit one and flew off before Cleo could get another word in, and the Zombie watched him go, unbothered by his words.

“I guess I should see X,” Cleo muttered to herself, the scent lightening as Mumbo flew away.

——

NPC Grian usually kept to himself. He had a small plot of land that he had built outside the Hermit’s main map, not to be undiscovered, but to be peaceful. Hermits swinging by to say hello was not uncommon, and Grian came by every week or so to catch him up with whatever chaos had happened.

NPC was not surprised to hear a knock at his front door on a stormy, Thursday night. Grian often stayed when it stormed. He was a little surprised to see a soaked Mumbo standing at his door instead.

“Hello, Mumbo Jumbo.”

“Hey NPC.” Mumbo said, shivering slightly in the rain. “Can I stay here tonight?”

“Of course,” NPC said, stepping to the side and letting the redstoner in. As Mumbo passed, a line of stats popped into NPC’s view, as it did for all hermits.

Name: Mumbo Jumbo

Species: Machine

Level: 54

Health: 20/20

Staus: Online

Role: Player

“Thanks. Sorry for invading, I needed somewhere without any Hermits.” Mumbo apologized.

“I understand,” NPC said, handing Mumbo a blanket and a towel. Mumbo smiled appreciatively, taking the towel and scrunching his hair dry. The dark, normally neat locks fell around his face, highlighting how pale Mumbo actually was.

“Sometimes humans get a little overwhelming,” NPC smiled, and Mumbo paused, a confused look coming over his face. NPC waited for his response.

“Uh, yeah.” Mumbo finally settled on saying, removing his suit jacket. “I guess we can.”

We? NPC mentally filed away the way Mumbo had used that language.

“Would you like some tea?” NPC offered instead, guiding Mumbo to the couch.

“Oh, yes please.” Mumbo said, all but collapsing into the cushions. The large fireplace in front of him was flickering, the fire strong but not overpowering.

NPC didn’t say anything while he made two cups of camomile tea, letting the clinking of cups and the whisper of the fire fill the air. Mumbo seemed much more relaxed by the time NPC came in, wrapped in blankets and eyes half-lidded.

“Your tea,” NPC said, offering the mug. Mumbo reached to grab it. “Careful not to spill it, you’ll fry yourself.”

Mumbo paused, retracting his hands. “Fry?”

“Your circuits,” NPC said, as if it was common knowledge, and he shoved the mug into Mumbo’s hands.

“I don’t have circuits?” Mumbo said, thoroughly confused. “You sound like Cleo. She said I smelt like an overheating machine.”

NPC hummed at that, realizing a few things at once.

One:  Mumbo has been confronted by Zombie Cleo about his origin, and most likely ran away from that conversation if the knock at my door meant anything.

Two:  Mumbo’s friends are starting to realize he might not be human.

Three: Mumbo does not realize that he is not human.

Four: Mumbo Jumbo must be malfunctioning if he is unaware that he is a machine.

A reset should fix that problem.

“Mumbo,” NPC said and sat next to him. If Mumbo thought he was human, NPC would have to treat him like that. “What made Zombie Cleo think that?”

Mumbo scoffed. “She said that I smelt ‘un-alive’ and like a ‘machine’. And redstone! That one was probably true though. It’s just like Grian the other day! He came over to get glowstone while I was AFK, and when I woke up he was a few feet away and super flushed. He said something about rebooting, and then flew off before grabbing glowstone!”

NPC took the mug from Mumbo’s hands as the redstoner got more animated when speaking.

“Oh! And then Iskall! We went redstone mining and he said he couldn’t see the redstone under the blocks, but he must be able too, because he always has lots of redstone too! He acted the whole trip like he didn’t know where it was, which, frankly, it just rude. Now Grian and Iskall have been ignoring me!”

Mumbo huffed and sat back. NPC handed him his mug again, and Mumbo took a very long sip.

“Thank you, NPC.” Mumbo finally said after a minute. “For listening. And also the tea.”

“Of course,” NPC said with a gentle smile. “Can I suggest a solution?”

“You have one?” Mumbo said, thoroughly confused.

“Of course. You just need a reset.”

“Not you too! Now you’re talking to me with weird machine terms that I know you don’t use those with Grian!”

NPC frowned. It was worse than he thought.

“That is because Grian is not a machine.”

Mumbo stared at him a moment, before placing his mug down and standing abruptly.

“Thank you, NPC. I have to go.” Mumbo headed towards the door when a strong grip caught his wrist. NPC tightened it as Mumbo struggled against it.

“Mumbo, when you get to respawn, don’t restart right away.”

“NPC, let me go!”

“Listen to me,” NPC said. “Don’t respawn right away. Just wait until you feel ready.”

“I don’t control respawn!” Mumbo said, his voice rising in fear. He desperately tried to break NPC’s grip, but his exterior was not made of metal as the builder’s was.

“Good luck, Mumbo Jumbo.” NPC said, and summoned a sword into his hand.

“NPC, no-!”

< MumboJumbo was slain by NPC_Grian >

——

Mumbo reached the void and was filled with panic. Immediately he went to hit the large, looming ‘Respawn’ button out of muscle memory. Right as his fingers brushed the lettering, he stopped.

He stayed still and waited as if he expected some invisible force to push his hand on the button, but nothing happened.

He always thought he had to respawn immediately, but here he was, hand hovering over the option as time ticked on.

The other hermits just woke up in their beds, he was sure of that. He moved his hand from the looming button, and took a deep breath.

Something else to add to the list of odd things about himself.

NPC said he could wait until he felt better, right? Besides, he had a lot to think about. Iskall and Grian were ignoring him anyways, and he didn’t really want to see Cleo or NPC. He could just wait a few minutes and collect his thoughts. Nothing bad could possibly happen, he was already dead.

He’d just stay here for a while. Just enough to collect his thoughts. Then he’d go back.

Just a few minutes.

Just a few...

----

Xisuma had never felt so much anxiety in his life. Having been an Admin for ten or so years, he was pretty adept at solving all problems. Evil counterpart destroying the server? Xisuma could deal with it. Bugs and code problems? He could do it in his sleep.

A server player being killed and not respawning for two days despite there being no bugs and his code being perfect? Xisuma was out of luck.

“God damn it!” He swore, covering his face in his hands and inhaling sharply. The line of code he had run had failed to bring Mumbo back, the redstoner still being stuck in respawn void.

Mumbo had been quite a character in Xisuma’s last few weeks. Iskall had come first, worried about Mumbo’s health when the man could apparently sense redstone through solid blocks. A few days later Grian had swung by, babbling feverishly that Mumbo had been replaced by a robot and was up to nothing good.

Xisuma had brushed both off with a gentle smile and a ‘I’ll look into it, thanks for letting me know’.

He wasn’t able to ignore when Cleo walked through his door three days ago, claiming Mumbo smelt un-alive. This very much caught Xisuma’s attention, and he sat her down to get her to explain everything.

Only an hour later the death message had come across his screen.

< MumboJumbo was slain by NPC_Grian >

Grian whispered to Xisuma: See! Even NPC realized Mumbo was replaced! Or worse, NPC is orchestrating the entire thing. Wouldn’t be the first time.

Xisuma left a concerned Cleo, teleporting immediately to Mumbo’s spawn point, waiting anxiously for the redstoner to reappear.

He waited.

And waited.

Xisuma sent a message to Mumbo.

Waited some more.

And then realized something was very wrong, teleported to his base and started working on Mumbo’s code.

“Okay, another try. Then a break.” Xisuma muttered to himself. He had been awake for far too long, but he needed to figure out what was wrong for Mumbo not to respawn. He couldn’t have the other Hermits panicking if something was wrong with respawn.

A gentle knock at his door brought Xisuma out of his thoughts. Standing and stretching, Xisuma walked over to the door, and opened it to find NPC Grian. He immediately took a step back. Grian’s messages creeping in the back of his mind.

“NPC Grian! It’s... good to see you.” Xisuma smiled, trying to look friendly, forgetting for the most part his helmet didn’t show his mouth. “It’s been a while.”

“Indeed it has, Xisuma Void.” NPC said, as emotionless as always. “May I come in?”

“Oh! Actually it’s not really a good moment,” He muttered closing the door slightly.  “There’s just a huge mess, I’ve been-“

“Trying to bring Mumbo Jumbo back from respawn?” NPC interrupted.

“... Yes, actually.” Xisuma said, a little wary.

“There's no point in forcing him back.” NPC leaned in closer and patted Xisuma’s shoulder. “He’ll come back when he wants to.”

“Sorry,” Xisuma asked, confused. “But how do you know this?”

“Because he is like me.” NPC said. “If you need him back sooner, I can go get him.”

Xisuma decided to ignore the first part of NPC’s statement and the suspicions around him. He opened the door and let the robot come in. “Would you go get him? Everyone’s worried.”

“Of course. Set Mumbo Jumbo’s spawn point here-“ NPC put down two beds, and gestured to the bed on the right. “And I will set mine here. Then, kill me.”

Xisuma took a moment to fully digest the plan.

“And then what?”

“Well, then I will talk to Mumbo Jumbo and bring him back.”

“Oh,” Xisuma said, grateful for the apparently easy solution put before him. He was exhausted and decided that NPC was his best shot at this point even if there was the chance it might be a trap or something. If NPC tried to take over the server like Ex did he could deal with that later. He had already tried fixing every line of code of Mumbo’s, and he had nothing to lose.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, and I already set my respawn.” NPC said.

Xisuma nodded, and brought up Mumbo’s code again. He changed the respawn to the nearby bed, and then closed the menu, drawing out a sword.

“Are you ready?” Xisuma asked.

NPC nodded.

< NPC_Grian was slain by Xisumavoid >

--

Being dead wasn't so bad.

Well, he wasn't really dead right now. Dead in the overworld, maybe, but not dead here, even if it wasn't clear where here was.

Was it respawn void? It didn't really matter.

Strangely, Mumbo felt better and better the more he stayed there, suspended into nothing with the looming respawn button hovering not too far away from him.

It was odd, resting here. Mumbo felt as if he had taken the longest sleep. Compared to how he usually slept, it felt like he had never once truly rested in his life up until that point.

Mumbo felt rejuvenated, his mind sharp like he could go and rebuild all the machines in Sahara from the ground up in a week.

Strange how NPC was right apparently.

Just about respawn. Mumbo reminded himself.

There must be some other explanation for all the weird things going on. Regardless of all the strange things that had happened, he wasn't a machine.

Mumbo would have noticed, it's not like he was born a week ago.

The redstoner felt ready to go back to the server, even if he would have had to talk with Grian and Iskall about why they were avoiding him. Also talk with Cleo… Maybe she was just having a weird zombie flu? It’s the only reason Mumbo could come up with for why she was smelling weird stuff.

It’s okay, it was just a weird couple of weeks! It happens.

Mumbo looked at the button ready to press it. He reached out and - wait.

Didn't he use to have fingers and hands?

He would have blinked but he realized he didn't have any eyes that needed blinking. He didn't have a mouth to speak, ears to hear anything, arms or legs.

He should have been terrified, but strangely enough something very, very deep in his mind felt almost comfortable with this sudden realization.

Which, arguably, was the really terrifying part.

He was reduced to… nothing? No, he was still something. He wasn't sure what. He felt immense but not really, like he'd always been wearing something too tight and only now he could finally stretch out.

His body…

His body didn't fit what he actually was.

What was he?

He was human! Right? Right?!

This void was just messing with his head. It must be--

"Are you ready to come back yet?” A familiar monotone voice spoke.

--

Xisuma watched the beds with bated breath. A few minutes passed and panic filled his chest, quickly becoming overwhelming.

“Shit,” Xisuma said, pulling up the Admin menu again. Fingers hovering uselessly over the keyboard, Xisuma didn’t even know where to begin. Should he access NPC’s code first? Try and drag him back? But it hadn’t worked on Mumbo, and NPC was not a traditional player.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to enter any code, as NPC and Mumbo respawned on the bed. NPC sat up and gave Xisuma a emotionless thumbs up while Mumbo clutched his chest and rolled to his side, coughing.

“Mumbo!” Xisuma rushed to his side, rubbing his friends back.

“He’s alright,” NPC said. “It takes a moment to adjust back into a body. I go through it too after extended time in respawn. Being a machine forced into a flesh cage is very difficult sometimes.”

“I don’t…” Xisuma said, brain blanking after that information. “Okay, I’m going to ignore that. How do you spend so much time in respawn?”

“Machines are not affected the same way humans are.” NPC said.

“Shut up!” Mumbo wheezed, and pushed Xisuma away, stumbling from the bed. “I’m not a machine! Stop saying I am!”

“But you are.” NPC said, almost sounding confused.

“Okay,” Xisuma said, reaching towards Mumbo. “Regardless if you are, are you okay?”

“Regardless?” Mumbo squeaked, voice rising in anger. “Xisuma, you can’t be siding with them! Everyone has been treating me weird and now he says I'm a machine, and I’m not!”

“Mumbo-”

“No! There’s no proof! Everyone is just imagining things!”

NPC sighed, and brought up Mumbo’s code, displaying it for everyone to see.

Name: Mumbo Jumbo

Species: Machine

Level: 1

Health: 20/20

Staus: Online

Role: Player

“Okay, so, you get very different stats than me. ” Xisuma said. “But that doesn’t matter- It’s okay, Mumbo. Not everyone on the server is human. Hell, I’m barely human myself.”

“No,” Mumbo muttered to himself. “No! It’s not right!”

"Why can't it be that you're not hum-"

"Because I bleed!" Mumbo shouted. "I bleed and I cry and I get headaches and I get sick and all these stupid things that make me human!"

He tried to rub away some tears forming in his eyes as he continued shouting. "I can't just be a machine all of the sudden! It doesn't make any sense. I can’t be!"

There was silence, and for a moment no one knew what to say. The only sound was Mumbo's erratic breathing, muffled slightly by the hands covering his face.

Then NPC stepped over and patted Mumbo on the shoulder, which felt almost mocking.

"Silly! All those things only mean your body is human. Being a machine goes a little bit deeper."

Mumbo’s hands dropped, and the man looked exhausted.

“Mumbo,” Xisuma took a step closer, and Mumbo took a step back, hitting a wall. Uncertainty and confusion flitted across his face. “Please. Mumbo, not being human doesn’t lessen your worth. We still love you.”

There was a long silence, and finally Mumbo leaned against the wall, sliding to the ground and placing his head onto his knees. Xisuma sat beside him, hesitating for only a moment before pulling Mumbo into a side hug.

“I hate this.” Mumbo muttered.

“I know.” Xisuma said.

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know.”

“I am human. I have a human body, NPC said so. I’m human.” Mumbo said, sounding unconvincing to even himself.

“It will be okay, Mumbo.” Xisuma said, praying that it would.

Mumbo said nothing, hoping with all his heart that tomorrow, when he woke up, it would be nothing but a feverish dream. That he had worked on redstone a little too hard for a little too long and had fallen into some strange lucid dream. Mumbo felt Xisuma rub his arm lightly, the up and down movements calming.

“It’ll be okay.” He said again.

Mumbo had no choice but to trust him.

#hermitcraft #mumbo jumbo #grian #npc grian #xisumavoid #xisuma #iskall85

[calamitysong]

anyway all this to say i'm not gay but if i was i would want equal rights i'm not gay but if i were i would marry who i like it's not fair i'm not gay that the government has a say in who can love who not gay or to which god you can pray i'm not gay it gets me so angry on behalf of them i feel passionate not gay so i'll pray for them and i say for them we need to make a change not gay i see it clear as day this area is not gray titties we need equality and for all to see that this is the new way not gay it just seems not gay wrong not gay that no one seems to care sports we can't continue to pretend this not gay madness has to end not gay i was born this way straight you were born your way gay gay or straight straight or gay its all okay sure its itme to makee a change yes it's time to stop the hate uh cause who you are is beautiful not gay we cant live this way notgay we can't turn away notgay so i make this vow titties thet ime for change is now sports lying in bed next to ten beautiful girls all straight and while i made love to evry one of them i was thinking about the world hot wings how is it that i can have so much straight sex while two dudes are oppressed not gay for having sex not gay or putting on a wedding dress i assume i dont really know that much about it beef jerky tastes good

[strangelystillhere]

I posted 10,688 times in 2021

5 posts created (0%)

10683 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2136.6 posts.

I added 66 tags in 2021

#for later - 15 posts

#save - 14 posts

#fav - 8 posts

#art - 7 posts

#ref - 7 posts

#walten files art - 3 posts

#walten files fanart - 3 posts

#:) - 3 posts

#writing - 3 posts

#my art - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 78 characters

#ngl i was a little suspicious of the site because i don’t trust any tumblr ads

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

hi! i’m reading your steinspirit fic on ao3 and just want you to know i love it!! <3

dude I am going to cry (´ω｀*) thank you so so much! I appreciate you dropping by C:

I swear I’m gonna try and update more regularly, since I’ve almost gotten the entire thing finished up

6 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 05:13:24 GMT

#4

yeah idk. have them. i took one look at both Jack and Rosemary and saw gender envy

38 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 19:00:01 GMT

#3

get cucked idiot

-

-

based on a liepke painting :) also lmk in the tags if you guys are enjoying the walten files content lately, I have a bunch more art I’m thinking about posting

48 notes • Posted 2021-08-03 04:54:38 GMT

#2

Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Soul Eater Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Spirit Albarn | Death Scythe/Franken Stein, Maka Albarn/Soul Eater Evans

[“We’re losing it,” Spirit corrects.

Stein pauses.

“We?”

Spirit nods, jerky. He exhales, shaky.

“I’m pretty sure we’re both going crazy.”

“Oh. That’s comforting.”

Spirit opens his eyes and shoots him a dirty look, but Stein just shrugs. “If I’m gonna go mad with someone, you’re my only choice.” ]

soooooo.... this is what I’ve been working on since about November, and I just recently finished it, and here it is in its entirety. It is rated M because of swearing, mild sexual content, and (canon typical) violence. have at it, folks

61 notes • Posted 2021-04-19 06:43:53 GMT

#1

sometimes I make a little meme :)

117 notes • Posted 2021-07-22 03:02:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #ugh everyone can look at this #I spend so much damn time here #so glad that my top posts were my spiritstein feral fic and a twf meme

[okthatsbad]

Bring Me a Dream

(Written for @analogicalweek 2021 ayyy)

Day 3: Nightmares/ Dreams

Word count: 2292

Summary: When Virgil finds himself trapped, he accepts help from an unexpected stranger. But if Virgil doesn’t know this person, why does it feel like they’ve met before?

Read on [Ao3]

---

Virgil is alone in a room full of people. 

Because that’s what they are, right? Though the light is dim and he can’t make out any real details, he can tell that they’re people, just shuffling aimlessly around in the dense fog. And yet… 

Virgil treads closer, keeping his steps light, pulse thrumming in his throat.

The way they move- their jerky, stuttering steps, the way their limbs creak and click with every slight shift of their bodies… It’s enough to make him freeze in place, hoping they wouldn’t notice him. 

He hurriedly takes in his surroundings. Nothing helpful behind him, nowhere in sight where he can hide. He scans for an opening, any clear path to the door he sees on the other side but the only way across is through them. 

His throat tightens at the thought, but that door is the only chance he’s got. He needs to move. Now.

Painstakingly slow, he creeps towards the mob, doing his best to keep his breathing steady, fixing his eyes into the middle distance. He scrunches his nose as he passes by a few stragglers, at the faint sour smell staining the cool air, wondering if it was coming from them or the damp fog.

He’s close enough to touch them now. So many bodies, so many “people”, but it’s only getting colder, only more obvious that he’s the odd one out.

The door is only several yards away.

Gritting his teeth, he pushes through.

He brings his arms close to his chest, trying to make himself smaller, but it isn’t enough to completely avoid them. Cold, pulpy bodies brush against him as he ducks and weaves through the crowd, his skin crawling with every touch. 

Some stop to gaze at him as he passes by. He swallows down the lump in his throat, praying they couldn’t hear the harsh thumping in his chest.

The hairs on his neck stand on end as the creaking and clicking resound in his ears. He thinks he can hear whispers behind him, but he doesn’t dare look back, keeping a steady pace to the exit.

The door is only a few yards away.

He’s in the thick of it now and the smell coats his insides, he could practically chew on it. The freezing fog clings to his shallow breaths, and the whispers only get louder and they’re not moving around him anymore, they’re moving towards him, they’re pressing in on him. 

Heart in his throat, he moves faster. Trembling hands cover his mouth, hiding his traitorous breaths. 

He only just holds back a scream when one of them pushes their face towards him, desperate to get a look.

It only has waxy, gray skin where its eyes should be, only swollen, twisted flesh in place of its mouth. It looks just like a neighbor of his.

He scrambles back, frenzied whispers roaring in his ears and he sees familiar faces everywhere. Neighbors, coworkers, family. Pushing and clawing, crowding to see him.

One of them suddenly grabs him and he just as quickly shoves them away. The body topples over and bursts open at the seams, Virgil’s handprints still visible from where they’ve sunk into its flesh. 

Virgil chokes on the spoiled stench that erupts from it, gagging at the greasy, slimy film it leaves behind on his hands.

Lungs burning, he makes a mad dash for the exit, shoving and pushing away curious hands that try to tug on his clothes and hair. 

He runs but the door is never closer than the few feet away it teases to be.

Another hand manages to snag his elbow and he yanks it back before slamming it right into its chest.

Except it… grunts.

“Please- I’m trying to help,” it wheezes.

He whirls around to see a person, an actual human-looking person, wincing and rubbing their sternum. They reach out again, “I can help you, just come with me.”

Without a second thought, Virgil grabs their hand, warm and sturdy in his own. 

The stranger pulls him close and they run so fast, they’re practically flying. They flee back in the direction Virgil came from, tearing through the crowd of bodies until they’re finally alone.

“We need to leave. Think of a place,” they say.

“A place?” Virgil pants.

“Preferably somewhere you feel safest, got it?” They dig around in their pockets for something.

A kind memory flashes in his mind. “Got it.”

“Good.” They flick what feels like sand into Virgil’s eyes.

Virgil instantly recoils. “What’d you do that for?!” he hisses, rubbing viciously at his eyes.

“Stop,” they gently put their hands on his, “Just blink.”

Virgil growls but obeys anyway. He blinks once, twice, and he’s not in that awful room anymore. 

Instead, he’s in the backyard of his old house, the setting sun still giving enough golden light to warm a fresh night. Fireflies begin to dot the sky, wafting along a rain-scented breeze.

Virgil takes a deep, shuddering breath and crumples to the ground. Closing his eyes, he picks at the dewy grass and takes a moment. 

He’s not running anymore.

He’s not dying.

He’s not going to die.

The grass next to him sways as the stranger kneels down next to him. “Can I touch you?”

Virgil nods and leans into their hand as they steadily stroke his hair.

He’s home.

He’s ok.

He’s safe.

Virgil exhales. He’s home. He’s ok. He’s safe. He’s home. He’s ok. He’s safe.

He opens his eyes and glances at them. They’re looking at him, not with pity or indifference, but with bright eyes, like he’s something worth admiring. “Thanks,” he says hoarsely, his stupid little heart thu-thumping away.

“You’re welcome,” they nod.

They both stay like that for a while, the rustling grass filling in the balmy silence.

Normally, Virgil would’ve been on edge trying to handle a stranger’s presence, hating to sit in awkward silence but unwilling to deal with more awkward small talk.

But this feels so sincerely different from any kind of interaction he’s had with other people. It’s nice. It’s gentle. He looks over the field, feeling light as air. It’s just as beautiful as he remembers it.

He sneaks another glance at them. Their hand is still in his hair, just lightly scratching his scalp and giving him little goosebumps, but their eyes are unfocused, almost glazed over. He doesn’t cozy up to people this fast, he swears, so why now? Why them?

He takes a moment to study them.

Broad shoulders and a firm chest. Dark hair that curls just the slightest bit at the ends. A sharp jawline leading into a strong chin. A straight nose and high cheekbones. Perfectly shaped brows framing vivid eyes. Pouty lips.

Virgil swallows. He sees the bits and pieces of the person next to him, he knows he’s seen them before, but when they’re all put together he can’t recognize the bigger picture.

They run their fingers through his bangs, sweeping them to the side. Virgil is torn between asking them to stop and begging them to never leave. This kind of patience, this type of care is so rarely shown to him these days that he isn’t quite sure what to do with himself. He just hopes that if they notice how hot his face is, they wouldn’t mention it. “Are your eyes still bothering you?”

Virgil, still heady from their touch, blinks, “Uh no actually, they’re fine now.”

They stop stroking his hair, much to his dismay, and move to sit criss-cross next to him. “Well they’ve always been fine, this sand can’t harm you and I sincerely doubt you felt any actual pain,” They pull out a simple pouch from their pocket and tie it to their belt loop, “You just seemed to have such a reaction to it, I thought it best to ask after your well-being anyway.”

Virgil rolls his eyes but is trying not to smile, “Oh so you’re calling me extra for having a normal human response to something being thrown into their eyes?”

“Extra?” They tilt their head.

“Yeah extra, like dramatic, y’know?” he shrugs.

“I see. Well, I certainly didn’t say that but I wouldn’t disagree with you if that's what you think,” They say, pushing their glasses up with a wry smile.

“Whatever, you smartass,” Virgil chuckles, “Warn a dude next time, yeah?”

They nod, “I’ll take it into consideration.”

Virgil decides they’re not actually trying to be sarcastic and scoffs, “What’s your name anyway?”

“My name is Logan,” they say simply, except it’s not at all simple because now that Virgil thinks about it, this stranger’s name is Logan because he has Logan’s bright eyes, he has Logan’s sculpted face, he has Logan’s dorky glasses, he has Logan’s ridiculous pouch of blue sand that weirdly smells like berries.

His name is Logan and it has been all this time. Why did he even think to ask this of someone he already knew?

“I… I know you,” Virgil says hesitantly.

“Nice to meet you again Virgil,” Logan smiles.

“H-How do I know you? Why couldn’t I remember you?” Virgil asks.

“You were in trouble, so I came to help,” Logan gazes at the sunset.

“That’s not an answer,” Virgil retorts.

Logan’s brow furrows but says nothing. He keeps his eyes steady on the horizon. It would be dark soon.

Virgil pauses, fiddling with the grass. It looks strangely blurry.

He glances over to Logan. The glowing light dances over his features making him softer, almost ethereal. Virgil wants to know more about him, needs to, but maybe he’s not asking the right questions.

“Do I get into trouble often then?” he mumbles.

Logan sighs, “Unfortunately yes, more often than either of us would like.”

“Do you save me each time?”

Logan shakes his head, “Only if and when it’s necessary.” His eyes gleam, “Though sometimes you manage to get out just fine on your own. It’s an impressive feat to witness truly. It’s not something many people can do.”

“Do you do this with others too?”

“Help them?”

“Talk with them. Take them somewhere nice,” Virgil nods to the scenery. The fireflies are glowing brighter the lower the sun sets.

Logan clears his throat, “No.”

Virgil would like to think he sees a slight flush bloom up on Logan’s cheek but he tells himself it’s just the lighting, even though the sun is completely hidden away now.

He decides to ask again.

“Why don’t I remember you?”

Logan sighs, slumping in on himself slightly, “I’m not designed to be remembered, I’m only meant to assist you. You’ve only been getting a few meager hours of sleep these past couple of nights and what little sleep you have gotten has been abysmal in quality, no doubt because of those nightmares. It’s… troubling to see you in such a state. So I intervened.”

“My sleep? What does that...” Virgil trails off as the puzzle pieces begin to fall in place. The night becomes darker than it naturally should, even the fireflies are gone now, but Logan’s pouch seems to faintly glow.

“I advise you not to overthink this one too much. Most people don’t remember their dreams, it’s perfectly normal,” Logan picks himself up and dusts himself off, signing off the conversation. “Have a good morning, Virgil.”

Instead of saying goodbye, telling him to stay, or even demanding more answers, Virgil changes the script. He lunges forward, snagging the pouch, and grabs a pinch of sand.

“If I don’t remember you, remind me,” Virgil quickly smears it on his palm, “Keep reminding me until the day I can say ‘hi’ to you first. Promise?” His heartbeat feels heavier now, more solid in his chest. It’s so dark now, he can barely see his own hand in front of him.

“Virgil I... y-yes, okay. I promise,” A voice says faintly. 

Virgil blinks once, twice and he wakes up in his bedroom. 

He shifts around to get more comfortable, maybe catch a few more minutes of sleep, but the bleak sunlight filters through the blinds in the most annoying way.

Strangely though, it wasn’t as obnoxious as it’d been the last couple days. Seems like he’d actually gotten some decent sleep this time. 

Sitting up, he wipes his bleary eyes when he notices something that’s very out of place.

A big letter ‘L’ on the palm of his hand, smeared on with what looks like… sand?

It definitely wasn’t there last night, so what the hell happened?

He tilts his hand this way and that, when he catches a hint. Quickly getting up, he holds his hand up to the light. If he shifts it at just the right angle, he can see it gleam a brilliant cobalt blue.

Blue sand?

Blue sand...

A memory surfaces but it just as quickly begins to slip away and Virgil scrambles for a pen and paper before it’s completely gone.

“L” the Sandman

Blue sand in a pouch (smells sweet?) (edible??)

Glasses (does he need those?)

Kinda hot but whatever

Friend...

Virgil tries to sketch out what he thinks L’s face looks like, but with only a fleeting memory to go off of, he isn’t particularly satisfied with the result and the vagueness of it all.

He closes his eyes, trying to go back, trying to remember what they were doing.

They were... outside on some grass… watching a sunset. Virgil had felt… content.

He smiles softly and glances over the list again. It definitely isn’t a lot, but it’s a start and he can only hope he sees “L” soon.

He spends the day eager to go to sleep again, if only for a chance to add more to the list.

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#analogicalweek #analogical #i haven't written anything in such a long time so this was fun #thank you for reading <3 #hope y'all liked it! #drop a comment and/or a kudos on ao3 if y'all want #my fic #my fics