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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 4

a/n: uwuwuwuwu @animesportboys and i were just talking about this and my heart was just bursting at this thought 😭

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

also requests are currently closed right now since i have like nearly 30 to finish so please be patient with me and wait for me to finish it all and until then i can open them up again. however, dont stop sending me cute stuff okay? 🥺

summary: its the time of the month for seijoh’s manager 🥺

@ yn when shes extra moody and mean during that time and does this every time she hears anything even come out of the boys’ mouth

oh dear

so basically

it’s,,,,,, a natural thing that most girls go through every month for more than half of their lives and its absolutely D R E A D F U L

the boys ofc knew what the hell a period was bc hello health class so they knew you would become this,,, other version of yourself

youd be moodier, childish, and easy to annoy and snap to everyone

but you would quickly realize how you’re acting then be all regretful and teary and cry easily and then youd forget about it then start the cycle again

you’d stick your tongue out at them and tease them mercilessly, making them run even more laps and pushing them harder

‘I SEE THOSE ARMS SHAKING, IWAIZUMI HAJIME. ADD 15 MORE TO THAT ROUTINE’

‘WHAT?!’

‘IF I SEE YOU EVEN A STEP BEHIND KINDAICHI, YOU WILL BE RUNNING 8 MORE LAPS KUNIMI’

‘NOO!!!!’

‘CHECK YOURSELF OUT ONE MORE TIME, YAHABA, I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES’

‘HAVE MERCY!!!!’

dear god they hated it

when it was time, they would protect themselves and work even harder and be more perfect to make sure you couldnt see their faults and point them out and try and kill them

it was like war for everyone

but they didnt know the exact date it started so they didnt really know when to start preparing for war until it came

this time, you didnt either

you didnt even know you were starting as you were extra busy booking the buses for away comps and collecting and emailing teachers for any missed homeworks for the team

so when it did start,,,

oh dear part 2

it wasnt really something you found out when you woke up that morning but you noticed you must be getting close since you were feeling extra cranky and you havent even been awake for more than an hour

nothing really happened throughout the day so you were just thinking that you didnt get enough sleep last night so you were just tired and wanted to sleep

but then it happened

you were standing next to iwa, reviewing his spike percentages when you shifted your weight to the other leg and then your eyes widened

your water broke

i saw this tiktok of this one girl and she was about to start filming with her friend when her eyes widened and her friend knew immediately and her caption was ‘my water broke’

iwa was worried as heck on to what was going on with you and even followed your gaze to see it on the wall and nothing out of the ordinary

‘y/n?’

‘oh god’

you mumbled and you wanted to run but you were too scared that you leaked and probably have an obvious redness on your white track pants

yep it def was your time bc you felt tears welling up in your eyes and you sniffled, embarrassed and upset for this to happen now, of all times

then oikawa tooru bursted through the doors

iwa, taking his eyes off of you and to the captain, started to yell at him until he noticed the brunette’s flushed face and panting form, hunched over as he gripped on the door handle with the plastic bag

you, too busy trying to think of a way to get out of there like deciding to waddle or to just crawl, didnt see oikawa as he approached you

the team paused and watched as he took a black hoodie from the plastic bag and wrapped it around your waist

‘hmm, y/n-chan, better get dressed so we can go now’

he hummed and you snapped out of your panic and looked up at him with watery eyes

‘oikawa-san’

you whispered and he nodded, eyes knowing what was going on

‘coach, theres a planetarium special tonight’

oikawa shouted without tearing his gaze away from you and coach irihata instantly knew, knowing the code that oikawa came up with when you became a part of the family team

the elder coach made a noise of agreement and oikawa didnt wait to up and carry you in his arms and waved to the team while pushing your head in his chest so you can hide

‘work hard everyone!’

‘oi, shittykawa! what the hell-!’

but an intense side-eye from his best friend shut him up and he knew something happened so he didnt say anything since he trusts oikawa to fix it

‘i trust you will take care of them, iwa-chan’

iwaizumi nodded firmly before shouting to resume back to practice and he himself went back to the line for spikes

you were carried to the bathroom so you could change into your emergency undies and pad and after you did your business, oikawa noticed you uncomfortably waddling towards him so he took you back into his arms

oikawa continued to carry you like his bride down the street towards an unknown destination, humming a children’s show tune that takeru loved to watch, while you maintained curled around yourself, partly due to the shame but also from the pain in your abdomen

you wiped the few stray tears that spilled past your eyes and oikawa chuckled when he noticed you aggressively wipe them off

‘hmm, y/n-chan, you shouldnt do that to yourself. it irritates your eyes and the skin around it so gently dab it next time, kay?’

you nodded, burrowing back to his chest and breathing in his scent

french toast

he smelled like french toast as the smell of caramel and vanilla wafted into your nose

‘howd you know’

you mumbled against the fabric of his jacket

oikawa stopped his humming and replaced it with a chuckle

‘oh, y/n-chan. oikawa-san is a reliable senpai, dont you know? i got a tracker! just for you!’

he answered and your eyes moved from his arm to his smile and you gripped his jacket tighter, fingers curled around it as if it was your lifeline

‘thank you, oikawa-san’

your words of appreciation made oikawa’s heart thump and he faltered a little, blush creeping up his neck, but he fought it down, covering it up with a smirk

‘you should be, y/n-chan! girls would kill to be you right now!’

you rolled your eyes at the return of his cocky attitude but you knew better

the real oikawa tooru was under that mask

turns out, he carried you to his home as his house was the closest while yours had to be taken by a bus

thankfully his parents were out and his sister and nephew were in a trip in tokyo that you had the house to yourselves without anyone asking questions that might make you uncomfortable and them misunderstand

he shut the door with his foot and made his way up the stairs with ease, his strength truly impressing you at that moment, before settling you down on his bed

it wasnt even on purpose but you curled yourself on his blanket, head buried in his pillow

his heart combusted and tooru had to look away or else he wouldve jumped on you and coddled you forever

instead, he quickly ran over and knelt down under his desk to reach for the box that he has prepared for you

‘y/n-chan, i never knew your pattern until last month so i was able to prepare for you now’

you looked up from your position on the bed and sat up enough to see him standing there, grinning with a mint green box

‘wh-what is that?’

you asked and he shuffled over, sitting next to you

‘this, is the y/n care love box! this special box was created by yours truly with everything you want and need during this dreadful week. theres your favorite food, warm socks, coupons you can spend like watching movies and eating ten tubs of ice cream while we talk shit about the boys’

he listed, gripping the box nervously

‘so? do you like it?’

he looked away from the box and to you but his smile slipped into a panicked one when he saw you silently crying and biting your lip to keep the sobs in

‘y-y/n-chan! i-its okay if y-you dont like it! o-oikawa-san can-’

‘no!’

you cut him off and lunged to hug him with all your might

hehe all might

E A T T H I S

‘i love you so much, oikawa-san! so much! thank you!’

you sobbed into his neck and he tightly hugged you back, lifting you so you could comfortably sit on his lap straddle him if you want me to be straight forward

oikawa gently moved so he was leaning against the wall that his bed was pressed against while you were pressed against his warmth

his fingers were drawing small circles on your back and whispering corny jokes or puns that made you giggle and laugh and occassionally, he would kiss your nose and you would whine at the ticklish feeling

eyes fleeting around the room, your eyes settled back on the box and you reached out, wanting to grab it until oikawa beat you to it and snatched it for you then placed it on your hold

‘whats inside, oikawa-san?’

you cutely mumbled, sitting comfortably back on his thighs so you could open the box in front of you

oikawa laughed

‘just open it and figure it out yourself, y/n-chan’

you pouted at his tease but smiled widely when you revealed the contents inside

‘oikawa-san!’

his eyes followed your surprised expression and his hands gripped your waist

‘you like it?’

he whispered and you nodded, looking back up at him and kissing his cheek, his

‘youre so sweet, oikawa-san! like-like this candy bar! howd you know i like this?’

you held up the treat and he shrugged

‘i keep seeing you get it whenever we go to the store’

you continued to sift through the things, seeing a dvd of your favorite movie, a f/c heating pad, a note that said your favorite ice cream was in the fridge, a bag of your favorite chips, fluffy socks, the goodies

you didnt even notice yourself crying again, only realizing it when there were wet spots beneath you

oikawa saw this and he quickly but gently put the box to the side and cradled your face with both of his hands, softly wiping the tears away with his thumbs

‘aw, dont cry, my little baby. princesses should never cry’

you sniffled and choked a laugh

‘hah, n-not a baby. j-just hor-monal’

you complained and oikawa snickered but shook his head then kissed your nose again

‘youre my baby’

you didnt have it in you to complain so you went back to snuggling into him

oikawa squeezed you and went back to drawing the circles on your back and he felt you relax into his touch and slump against his form, slowly starting to snore

your head rested on his shoulder and he turned slightly to watch your eyes flutter and nose scrunch when a strand of your hair fell on it

his heart continued to beat faster and faster and it showed by the way his fingers shook as he carefully lifted the hair away from you

he slowly bent down to give you a kiss on the forehead before laying you down to sleep more comfortably

‘good night, princess’

he sweetly placed a last kiss on your cheek before getting up to go prepare your heating pad for when you wake up

the next few days were possibly the best period days youve ever had

maybe because it was oikawa telling the team that you were in,,,,, satan’s domain currently and they should be careful with you so they tried their best to lift the weight and burden off of your shoulders

however,,

the next day after the incident,,,

they still didnt know what was wrong with you and oikawa forgot to text the gc about your condition so they were still unknowing

like today

during your classes, you were feeling off, almost nauseous but eating little bits of your chocolate treats were helping you get through until lunch

ofc kunimi noticed bc hellow he sits next to you and he doesnt pay attention during class so hes been watching you sneak little bites so the teacher doesnt see and ducking under your book

he was just amused with the way your eyes would widen if you thought the teacher caught you

kindaichi and kunimi and you usually ate lunch together at your classroom since you three only got to hang out as first years during lunch

so they know you usually have a bento with you and have a general idea of how much you eat

and kunimi thought since you ate all those chocolates earlier, you wouldnt eat as much food but then he saw you scarf down your bento, eat 2 more bags of chips and was finishing last chocolate bar

kindaichi,,,, wasnt even finished with his own bento and was watching you, amazed, at how easily you ate all of it

they didnt say anything since they thought you just didnt eat dinner last night but even during the walk towards the gym for after school practice, you were complaining that you were hungry and was eating another chocolate bar

they thought something was truly wrong bc you were eating so much more than usual

kunimi watched you chew on it as you opened the gym door and still ate even when you were talking to mattsun about his jump height

‘man, you sure are hungry, aren’t you, y/n? thats like your fifth chocolate bar today’

kunimi teased, grabbing a ball to spike but he froze, seeing you with the coldest and angriest look hes ever seen

you blinked at him, grip tightening on the treat, and mattsun slowly backing away from you

you advanced towards the blep boy, treat already forgotten and shoved to be held by mattsun

despite your shorter height than kunimi, he trembled slightly as you looked up at him

‘are you calling me fat, kunimi? are you? am i fat? do you think im ugly? im a piggie?’

you ranted and slowly started crying, making kunimi frantically scramble to stop you before the other upperclassmen see or worse, oikawa-san

‘y/n-wait-no!-um’

‘y/n-chan?’

kunimi shut his eyes tightly in fear at the deadly sweet voice of his captain and kindaichi and mattsun sent a quick prayer to their fellow teammate before he was going to get killed

‘uh oh, i think we’d have to start looking for a replacement for kunimi’

makki, who just arrived, teased making kindaichi fearfully look at him

‘eh?!’

‘oh, you first years have never seen oikawa mad, have ya? well, you’ll get front seat of it!’

mattsun clapped him in the back making him gulp

you werent sobbing but you were definitely crying, tear tracks quickly being wetted by the numerous amount of tears that fell

kunimi scrambled to his knees and folded himself, forehead resting on the floor by his hands

‘I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE DONT KILL ME! I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE FIND MERCY IN YOURSELF AND FORGIVE ME, Y/N-SAMA!’

it was certainly a sight to see

normally calm and collected and chill and relaxed hippie kunimi begging to be forgiven

oikawa stepped forward but you quickly felt the change of your mood, feeling bad for your boy and scrambling to pull him back up

‘oh kunimi-kun! dont kneel like that! the floor is too hard and might give you knee pain!’

it was like whiplash

iwa stepped in the gym and saw the team’s confused and bewildered expressions and saw you, kunimi, and oikawa and he shook his head

this aint even half of bad as he has seen

oikawa gently took you away from kunimi and held you to him instead, giving you a smile, to which you returned, and looked at kunimi, a deadly glint in his eye

‘what happened, y/n-chan?’

the tone of his voice sent a chill to run down everyone’s spines and even iwa, the boy who’s seen this a handful of times, shivered and nervously watched oikawa, ready to jump in

but you just blinked, completely unaware of the change of atmosphere

‘oh, um, i overreacted. i was eating too much food today and mustve annoyed him or something’

you sheepishly mumbled but oikawa was having none of it

‘no, its fine. youre literally bleeding out as we speak! dont feel the need to validate yourself!’

he lightly scolded while you hung your head low and continued to apologize but he gently bonked your head before scolding you again

the team definitely knew now that you were in that,,,, time and they definitely knew now, especially kunimi, that even if youve seen oikawa mad, youd think that the devil was more merciful than him when it relates to the topic of you

a/n: i swear to GGGOOOOODDDDDD im an oikawa whore who cant seem to stop writing for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ratsoh-writes · 3 years

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I have a feeling I'm either going to get Honey or a Horrortale skele, so here we go for Matchups! -🍊

Personality

-introverted

-nervous/jumpy/sensitive

-artistic/creative

-very sleepy. I stay up till 5am and sleep till 2pm.

-helpful! I like feeling needed lol.

-sensitive. I have an abusive mother im in therapy for, so I need someone soft :(

Hobbies

-im very artistic! I love drawing, painting, listening to music, even making it, anything that keeps my hands busy and my ADHD at bay.

-minecraft! I've just downloaded the game, I've had it for a year now, and I love the building in it lol. The mobs scare me tho.

-rps!!! I LOVE roleplaying!!!! Rpg games, DnD, hell, I even have a few oc based text rps on discord I'm into. It gets me SO excited when I make up little stories with my friends, the gremblin in my enjoys shiny new universes

Dislikes

-Snarky/teasing/snappy jokes, or being teased in general. I'm a sensitive person who takes a bit too much to heart. Mal and Red scare me.

-loud noises/crowded areas. Another trama trigger for me, I feel trapped in a situation and it makes me paranoid. I'd rather sit outside and watch a thunderstorm than go to a local fair.

-being pushed out of my comfort zone and/or being forced to get in contact with family I've kicked out of my life, the whole 'well family is family!' saying means jack shit to me. I've put my demons at bay, I don't want someone to push me out of my comfort zone, or else I feel sick with nerves. I don't like traveling or being around a lot of people, I'd rather just text someone than see them face to face, words come easier then. Brain weird.

Deal breakers

-anyone who forces me to be social. I have anxiety, leave me be dammit. If someone kept pushing and complaining about it, it would make me feel guilty and blegh. Let's not go down that rabbit hole.

-cheating, I have a low image of myself, I don't need someone flirting with others or being all handy with them. Once the wound it made, I'm not letting the knife near me again.

-someone who yells a lot. Loud voices, especially male ones, make me panicked and scared. If Edge ever lectured me I would simply. Cry.

-someone violent, which is a given. Sorry mafia men, but blood scares me. I'm a wheeny.

-someone forcing me to change. I'm chonky, so being forced into a diet or something would make me think low of myself, I couldn't stay with someone like that. Or someone pushing me to get anxiety meds or giving me a bedtime. I like my independence and I'm working on myself, I don't need to be pressured to do it faster.

-passive aggressiveness, it makes me confused on what to say in an argument and that junk.

Flaws

-most of these have already been said, but I'm introverted with low energy, I don't like going to big events or traveling away from home.

-sensitive. Any jokes aimed at me can and will be obsessed over to oblivion, I'm not the teasing type.

-awkward. I was kinda isolated as a kid, so social skills are hard. Don't expect me to pop up on conversations all the time, I mostly listen to what my friends say and nod along.

-hygene. This is also something I'm working on. I've had depression episodes that sometimes still surface, sometimes it's hard to even leave my bed, let along brush my teeth, hair, etc. Some days I'm just not feeling it. I also come from a neglectful house, so I wasn't even raised with those habits. But I'm trying, and that's what I'm focusing on. Don't be like 'ewEwW yOu HaVeNt BrUsHeD yOuR TeEtH tOdAy?!' That's both hurtful and annoying, life sucks man

-god aweful at spelling, sorry rat

Attraction

-someone who's soft and caring. I never had a motherly figure, and I'm too old now for my dad to watch me like a toddler, so I want to feel the love I mostly missed out on. Not babied or anything, just loved and cared for. Hug me, please. Alternatively: aha mommy kink go brr

-cuddly/affectionate. I need to feel wanted, since I was raised in a house that I wasn't, so words of reassurance are really nice, especially if that person wants to be around me close enough to cuddle

I tried making this as neat as I could, since I tend to ramble a lot, so I hope this layout is easy to read! Tell me if I need to add any physics stuff, thank you for the matchup! -🍊

Alright, you were right on probably getting a horror lol. I think the best fit for you is……..BASIL (horrorswap papyrus)!

Here’s the tricky bit. Getting to know basil is here. He’s also extremely anxious, to the point where he’s practically non-verbal to anyone he doesn’t know. But once you do get close enough for him to crush and even confess, you’ll get to see a butch more protective and attentive side to him. Basil is a protector at his core and actually prefers a timid SO unlike honey who likes confident and organized characters.

Basil would be great at balancing between encouraging you to be your best self and not being too pushy. Gentle is basically his main personality trait. And considering who it is here, it’s hard to feel nagged with him being the one giving you those gentle reminders.

You like cuddles? You’re getting your cuddles. Basil is shy about touch so it’s up to you to initiate, but when you do, you’ll find that he’s pretty much touch starved. He likes having you in his lap the most. Basil has mild insomnia so cuddling with a SO is the best way to help him doze off

Basil hasn’t been introduced to the wonderful world of video games yet. Minecraft would be a great starter! If you manage to get him into it, he’ll wind up getting addicted to sims most likely. Or FarmVille. He likes chill games

One important thing about dating basil is that your basically going to have to go vegetarian. You can eat meat outside the house when he’s not around, but the sight and taste of raw meat is a trigger for him. Luckily he’s a wonderful cook and makes up for it in his baking and pasta ;)

I was also thinking of rust and possibly slim for you. (Yes I know slim is a mafia but he’s great at keeping his work hidden)

#matchups #horrorswap

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penzyroamin · 3 years

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Food and sharing food continues to be a recurring motif in “tied together”. What was your thought process around that? How do you see that connecting to some of the central themes and concepts in the story as a whole? (And, if you would like to go into this, how do you see food and sharing food playing out in the messy au where David will also be cooking but in a completely different context/power dynamic?)

HAHAHAHA! I CAN FINALLY TALK ABT THIS WITHOUT SEEMING LIKE F SCOTT FITZGERALD BEGGING PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT THE GREAT GATSBY WAS!!!!!

okay. im calm now.

so for a couple years now i have deeply and secretly loved the concept of food as a symbol for community. i didnt use it in fic for a long time for a variety of reasons. one, it just never really felt right. two, my love of this symbol is very much connected to my southern-ness, and while im sure many people have just as strong, if not stronger connections between food and community, i didnt really know if people reading my stuff would Get It or connect w it.

i finally decided to use it for tied together for two reasons. first, this is my most definitively southern fic. ive written other fics with Humid Small Town Energy but this is my first that i really let myself go “fuck it. crawfish boils. hurricanes. middle aged women with crushes on jim cantore.” as such, it felt like if i was going to go for this symbol at any point, it needed to be with this fic. the second is that due to Pandemic and also living across the country from the majority of the family i grew up with, i have been kind of starved of community experiences as of late. i wrote tied together entirely during a period when i havent spent time with anyone besides my immediate family, so i was really thinking about community and the nature of it and how fucking badly i wanna have a massive meal with people and hence... this symbol

with the background of my decision to include it covered, let’s get into how it appears in tied together!!

in chapter one, the majority of food’s appearances are... impersonal, if that makes sense? its all premade, whether its drive-through stuff, tv dinners, etc etc, and he doesnt know the person who made it. its also worth pointing out that around the time jack and his mom stop sharing meals is the point they become disconnected from each other. essentially, that’s the disconnect from community throughout jack’s early life

davey comes around and it. is pretty obvious from the start that, through this symbol, he is the Literal Embodiment Of Connection To The People Around Him. food was a really key way for me to show just how connected he is to his community-- he’s constantly cooking for other people, working for battalion, helping people get good food, contributing recipes to little cookbooks. the end chapter also nods to this in the scene w his family where esther mentions he made her teach him to cook for a group, and the conversation afterwards where he mentions that he wouldn’t be comfortable with people paying him to make them food or making food for strangers. cooking for other people is essentially davey’s way of nurturing the community around him and becoming closer with people, so to make food in an impersonal way goes against everything he knows about food and sharing it. the interactions he has through food represent the larger relationships and interactions he has within his community. juxtaposed to jack, he’s built this little world around him filled with people that he loves and cares for, even if that does lay a heavy burden on him at points. if i ever write something delving deeper into davey in this au, i’ll elaborate further-- but, essentially, davey’s role as The Provider of food for the people around him was a real stand-in for the way that he feels both within his family and his larger community.

think of it this way-- in all the scenes we see with davey cooking at a large event-- i.e., the crawfish boil-- he’s always pushed off to the side by that. there’s usually someone talking to him or checking in on the food, but he’s not able to be engaged in the larger hubbub and discussion of the party because he’s busy. it’s in providing food for people and sharing that with him that he gets fulfillment out of the experience. in his family, we see that davey is a little bit isolated. he was growing up at the exact time when mayer’s alcoholism was getting worse and hitting its peak, and he left before mayer ever really managed to get very far into recovery. his time in their house, essentially, was a lot of heavy lifting and few moments of solidarity and joy. he loves his family, of course, it’s just a very labor-intensive process. and then, of course, he has a similar experience to what a lot of southern marginalized people feel-- this intense need to care for and better your community when your community very frequently doesn’t care for you. davey has absolutely zero capacity for apathy in this au, and it definitely shines through with this whole dynamic. he works SO HARD to care for people, even if he isnt always able to fully enjoy being around them and being loved by them

and then, of course, you have the way davey and jack interact through this motif-- davey teaches jack how to cook, gives him a cookbook, invites him over for meals, etc etc. sharing that with him essentially represents welcoming jack into his community as a whole, and giving him a place there. jack mentions davey “clearing a spot at the table” for him, and that’s both literal and figurative.

additionally, while davey uses food as a way to bring jack into his community, jack also makes davey a little less isolated. in a lot of the scenes in chapter 5, theyre cooking together, in a very domestic, symbiotic sort of way. i wanted this to demonstrate how jack relieves some of the burden davey puts on himself and exists sort of Within davey’s bubble rather than just reaping the benefits

i also wanted to illustrate with this how jack repairing his relationship w food keys into this. obviously we have the disconnect that he has early on where his unfamiliarity w what he eats and who makes it represents a larger disconnect between him and the people around him, but jack does also absolutely use food as a coping mechanism and a crutch. not to get, again, TOTALLY gatsby here, but he’s chasing that sense of community and belonging and understanding in the wrong places. it’s once he begins to actually make food for himself and understand the process of it and be able to carry something through to completion that he’s able to actually Enjoy food, yknow? i wanted that to mirror the way throughout the earlier parts of his life that he tried to kind of slap up temporary relationships and make do with that.

side note about jack and food: jack has undiagnosed adhd (and some vague comorbidities rip) in this au, and his experiences with it i preeeetttty heavily lifted from my life and my special brand of fucked in the head. (for those of you who don’t know, carb and sugar cravings are a symptom of adhd, hence why food is often a coping mechanism for us fhskdhs). cooking and baking are processes that have REALLY helped me get a handle on myself-- it gives me an outlet for movement and stimulation, and its something that i can carry through till the end and get an actual end product that i can recognize and benefit from. plus, real time consequences if i let something do whatever for ten more minutes! so thats another element i added to the way that jack builds healthier coping mechanisms over time-- he moves away from food as a crutch and instead develops a new form of CREATING that gives him an outlet and a feeling of productivity

those are some Vague thoughts. i will probably elaborate in the future!

now, for the messy au, rather than food symbolizing community, i chose to have it represent vulnerability.

a quick review: jack married rich, and davey is jack’s new wife’s cook. on his wife, dorothy’s part, i wanted this to shine through in this squeaky clean, pristine image that a lot of rich people try to craft. she never cooks for herself, never pays much attention to davey, never draws attention to him. in essence, she is creating as few weak spots as possible-- she refuses to be vulnerable to the people and the society around her.

with davey, however, his and his family’s livelihood depends on him cooking for this woman, and later for her and her husband. he’s forced into this position of extreme vulnerability and weakness by his financial situation, and cant really regain his sense of privacy or self because of that. its also a point in this story that he has very little time or wherewithal to cook for his FAMILY. so, his job forces him into a vulnerable situation with complete strangers who hold an upper hand over him but denies him the opportunity to be vulnerable with his own family, only reinforcing this idea that he is the protector and the provider and as such cannot have weak spots and cannot, under any circumstances, break

it also really highlights the difference between jack’s relationship with his wife vs with davey and smalls-- all the scenes of he and dorothy eating together are in grand, fancy rooms, with a certain amount of pomp and circumstance and dignity attached. with davey and smalls, though, he’s usually in the kitchen, having conversation, enjoying their company, helping them with menial things. that’s an environment that he’s used to and comfortable with, the kind of relationships and interactions he grew up with, while the stuffiness of his life and interactions with dorothy are entirely less vulnerable and close

that’s just a brief overview, but its something to look for when i finally finish the fic! it definitely started as a very soapy sort of thing, but my damn instincts pushed me to delve deeper into the characters and their relationships and the fucked-up-ness of it all. so, here we are

i really hope this helped!!!! this is not organized AT ALL so please tell me if there’s anything else you wanted to know or any details you noticed

#holy FUCK is this long..#about writing #tied together #asks #thank u so much for giving me an excuse to positively SCREAM abt this

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transrightsjimin · 3 years

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more ranting abt welfare benefits hell

sorry for whining so much abt income on here, i know it should just be easy nd solveable by applying more for jobs, but the literal issue is that i have no skills or confidence (latter is according to my friend, but the way i cant envision handling any jobs well is jst the truth??) nd still havent gotten any help from the municipality w getting consulted by someone w more knowledge on the job market nd maybe being pushed to take on shitty jobs that at least perhaps pay better than mail delivery. it’s jst so frustrating how i requested welfare benefits over 4 months ago but it only counted since 3 months ago bc they kept fucking up w the requests, promised a payback for the lost month, but didnt, i believe?? now december we got nothing nd probably also january bc our ‘income was too high‘ for the minimum.

uh i side tracked nd forgot where i was going before, but i meant to say tht HALF A YEAR AGO i also requested help w getting help w jobs but bc bureaucratic bullshit it took until DECEMBER to get the help approved. and they would get me a contact person ‘surely before christmas, don’t worry!‘ and then they didn’t and replied they hadn’t forgotten about me and will surely help soon and i’m just. so fucking anxious about this all??

my parents help me financially w cash they gave (nd some of which came from my grandmas) (nd no im not happy w that bc one of them is doing worse financially but still wants to give it away, nd the other is dead nd my uncle gave her left over money to family which feels ironic bc hes a millionaire but only gives a bit from his dead mom??) so that i can buy groceries bc me and my friend’s paychecks + welfare benefits can only cover rent + food and so not also other bills such as for healthcare that i have to make payment plans for. and even w help w groceries i still end up in the negatives, especially last month bc we ‘made too much‘ to receive something. i dont even dare to sell clothing or anything online for money bc that’d only mean ‘income from hobbies’ they could see i have and thus more reason to get stripped from this too.

and that is just the whole issue!! the municipality runs all these checks and forms and calls and appointments and documents you need to hand in, but there is NO calculation determining what you actually need. instead, based on the type of household, we were categorized as fiscal partners without children who receive the benefits together and thus we receive benefits (in the months that we do) to add it up to the ‘living minimum‘ €1500 in total. this amount does not cover our actual expenses, nor does this match inflation or how social housing has been broken down as a system and that real estate owners can increase rent prices as much as they want. there is a monthly grant that tenants could receive for renting a home, but only if it is an apartment AND below 752,33 euros per month (which is when it is considered social housing, above that it’s the ‘free market‘), and that is just virtually impossible?? but we were not once asked if we can actually pay anything and the people meant to help us w benefits just don’t fucking get flex work contracts or how our income over a certain month is received way later in the month after that. like they have a stable job and just dont fucking get that it is not designed well for us.

i think my anxiety over this issue has gotten worse ever since the news came out that a dutch woman on benefits got a €7000 fine because her mom did groceries for her and that’s considered fraud??!! she couldn’t afford food so her mom bought groceries for her but that is also considered financial compensation and thus she got this huge fine, which she probably cannot afford and the fucked up thing w fines from institutions is that they ask interest over it if you don’t pay it in time or enough of it, and give more fines and even charge fees for something like you receiving a letter and they’re just free to pull this shit bc it’s a for-profit business. and that’s how ppl end up w debt and huge loans. it’s just so infuriating nd i really dont want a fine or lose the right to benefits. even though i prob wont get it for a while bc of my friend’s job that tends to make our incomes together reach just the ‘living minimum‘. i have this bill of €250 for adhd diagnosis, then monthly bills for meds that are €76 of which i can receive most back and ‘only’ need to pay €25 from it, then theres an orthodentist bill of around €92 bc i forget this insurance company still counts from back when i was w it the first time nd orthodontist stuff gets insured up to €1000 and that amount was used up like 10 years ago nd they still count like that despite me having had a different insurer in between.

i just need a stupid fcking job nd i hate to whine abt this bc theres so many ppl in much worse situations who ‘take initiative‘ nd start looking for jobs, but AGAIN i have no ‘basic’ skills like being able to listen and understand words well nd fast or show the right facial expressions or have good memory or dexterity or be able to answer difficult questions or focus on reading etc etc, nor do i i have an idea what job i should or could do.like i fcking need an income, moreover i need a break, im in this fcking burnout since like 2013 and in depression since at least 2004 lmfao but it’s never been recognized as bad enough by specialists bc im not suicidal, but it’s also not good to the point where i ever know if i felt ok. also just. i feel like i did use to have a bit more confidence in myself in high school but it all got sucked out of me in art college (bc horribly bigoted teachers + students and being taught that drawing well is in fact not at all important in the domestic market but rather being INNOVATIVE and NETWORKING and also COPYING is the way to success!! like not kidding, thats what teachers told us) nd by my parents (bc i became older nd didnt spontaneously do all these chores or jobs despite having no fcking clue how bc they never taught stuff). like i just dont know how ppl live comfortably w themselves and know what its like to be themselves nd not feel bad nd anxious abt everything

#rambles #family stuff #death mention / for grandma #this is a long rant im so sorry thisis a mess

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smutav · 4 years

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So i posted the pictures I had for my xray and comic in this post here and I said id wait a year but I’ve decided I need to lay this project to rest and move on to what comes next. Its under the cut because its mad king heavy

the old man part was fully scripted out so I’m going to throw the script in here first then it’ll be just notes for the general plotline

(M) Old Man = O1 / (J) Old Man = O2 / Xray = X / Vav = V

we come in on Xray and Vav coming onto the scene but we start lookin at the old men

O2: "Uh Oh, the calvaries here" O1: "issit the popo? tell them they cant make me go back... to that horrible home... fulla old people..." O2: "No.. its those spandex kids again" O1: "Oh, the blue one confused me... so blue jus like those dirty cops" O2: "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE" [O2 throws something that lands nowhere near xray and vav] V : "Look you have to stop causing a ruckus!" O1: "ah ah ah prettyboy we got da bomb" O2: "Thats right if you get in our way it'll be a real stinker!" O1: "Uh Ohhhh"

X : "you have got to be kidding me" O1: "I'm too old for kidding, im old-ding over here" V : "What are you doing with a bomb!?" O2: "We've got demands!" O1: "Oh yeah lots of demands!" O2: "We want.... Pudding!" O1: "Oh yeah and none of that rice shit in there" O2: "get that rice out of our pudding no chunks!" O1: "itsa chokin hazard, I almost died when they had that at the home" O2: "thats why we left they was tryna kill us" O1: "But you only show up to stop two guys havin fun" O2: "Ya punks!" [Vav has snuck over to the obviously hidden 'stink bomb' and gags when he sees whats under the cover]

O2: "Ey!" [he smacks Vav with a cane] "gettaway from there" O1: "These two have no manners" O2: "they jus go touchin stuff that doesnt belong to them!" O1: "Well two can play at that game" [he moves towards Xray pointing at his glasses] "I want those" X : "How about I give you this instead" [he shoots a lazer at the old guy but it bounces off his walker] O1: "uh oh you shouldn't have done that" X : "oh yeah what if i do it again" [it really has the same result smart guy]

[Vav at the same time is dealing with.. a really slow old guy. and he dodges a punch an the old guy just keeps goin down and hits the ground] O2: "Ah! I'm hit thats it for me! [he tries to get up but just knocks himself over again] it's over for me I'm deadd. You killed me ya bastard" V : "I really didn--" O2: "this blood is on your handssss ohhh im goinnnn" [Vav backs off while the old man keeps slowly 'dying' to help out with Xray who's wrestling for his glasses from O1]

X : "Youre smudging up my glasses!" O1: "oh i'll do more than that" [he moves to take a lick at them] X : "no you dont!" [He punches the old man square in the jaw] O1: [catches himself on the walker] "you want a boxing match, i used ta have the belt ya know" [he lands a punch on xray who doesnt even flinch]

V : [Vav comes up from behind and pulls the old man away] O1: "No he's got me!" [he flails a bit but ineffectively to get out] "this is just like the 40s you cant stop all this" V : "We're sending you both back to the old folks home just stay there this time!" O1: "You'll never keep us caged! We'll always be ba-- Oh no is this a heart attack? Ma is that you in the light I'm-- I'm comin... comin to kick your dead ass" [and he's dead]

[Xray and Vav dump the old guys on an elderly bus they're used to dealing with these guys 'dying' and approach the stink bomb which is the stink jug but theres wires and stuff attached to supposedly detonate it] X: "Well I guess we'll have to deal with this" [he kicks the 'stink bomb' and Vav goes green] V: "I guess it'd be best to get it to Hilda she'll know how to get rid of it" X: "right lets go" [he starts walking leaving Vav to carry the barrel, poor vav]

I hope the notes after this make sense plot wise a lot of it was going to be explored deeper as we get drawing XDD ((also you get all my note writing jokes that i make to myself))

V = xray and vav / K = mad king / R = rimmy tim / M = mogar

(V) - I need,, some basic everyday hero biz to start the story with - tIME TO THROW THE OLD MEN IN THERE (K) - He decides to try out his powers a lil test run ((around Hilda's lab)) - Xray and Vav crash the party ofc - He gets by them EASY slow mo can't do much against teleporting - He didn't have much of a goal for it but, now he knows he has the upper hand on Xray and Vav - He leaves victorious (V) - He gets the business end of a run in with ender ryan - What was that?? he can teleport?? - Well we have to figure something out! (R) - Rimmy Tim runs into Mad King - Which is wild! thought he was dead! - but he does have some weird ass shit going on (K) - Wow running into Rimmy Tim isnt that neat? - He pays no mind to the Battle Buddy (R) - Rimmy Tim is crashing at Jake's place ((to be relevant)) - He also meets Xray and Vav but nobody knows what his full deal is ((and theyre distracted from having they ass kicked))

(V) - Vav is the plan guy - They get intel that he has a weird power source - it gave him the powers so if they can figure it out maybe they can take them away! - We'll need to be stealthy boys... - MOGAR! - ask mogar for help, he distract while they sneak in and nab the gem (M) - The plan involves Mogar fighting Mad King up front - Mogar runs into Rimmy Tim and is suspicious of him (K) - Ofc he knew Xray and Vav would make a plan - Mogar comes to fight him aw they just decided to send a fwiend - Mad King is busy beating Mogar and doesn't notice that they got the gem ((Uh Oh! Plothole!)) (M) - They dont see him at the meeting place (K) - He Notices when he decides to experiment with it and tries out a lesser power source - Resulting in Zombie Mogar

(V) - They HAVE to find Mogar - poking around the outside for a sign of him they find his sword in the dumpster - thats,,, not good - its really heavy but if vav straps it to his back he can handle it - they wind up splitting up for any sign of Mogar (K) - Well if you're going to be rude about it - [teleports in the streets] - Have it your way do what you want - [and he leaves Mogar there] - when he teleports back Rimmy Tim is there and he quips ab how convenient tping is (R) - MK has him get rid of the new power source obviously a failure (V) - It gets dark but vav hears a noise in the alley - He finds Mogar! But he's eating something - Mogar growls and starts running at him - *british screaming* - As he BOOKS IT around a corner Xray runs into him and Vav just grabs his arm - NO TIME TO EXPLAIN - so what the plans just fucking run - oh wait thats Jake's van - *climbs in* wEHAVE TO GO HIT THE GAS - bro its a red light - iTS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THERES NO TRAFFIC JUST - Mogar jumps on the vAAAAAAAA - Thats enough to convince Jake she slams on the gas - " you guys are paying for any tickets i get"

((for context, Jake is my oc she has an ask blog that I was planning to use to be like in between she and rimmy tim are hanging out and you might find out things from interacting w her. But for character knowledge she’s an appliance installer that works with The Monarchy’s Servants. Which that is the company that installs the stuff that comes out of Monarch Labs. there was also a whole bit where she and rimmy tim would be hanging out and he’d be joking like oh do you ever go in like “ah m’lord!! is this installation to your liking thank you m’lord!!” and she’d goof back if he ever had a house for her to install shit in she’d do it just for him.

and for how Jake and Rimmy tim met it was at 3am dennys a few years ago and they been buds ever since))

(R) - Jake's checking on her van later and Rimmy Tim comes out to give a hand - and he asks what happened and she's shaking a lil - she just leaves it as hero biz as usual she thinks (V) - bloody hell we have to help mogar! - yeah what did Mad King do to him! - they gotta bait and catch him (R) - Jake gets a call from xray and vav asking for help getting mogar to a lab - Rimmy Tim tags along and gets to see Mogar (M) - Xray and Vav catch mogar and have him leashed in the lab - But?? Is he dangerous?? Can he contaminate others??

(R) - This is wrong - RYAN is wrong - Rimmy Tim,, Has to do something - discussion doesnt work, Ryan's just a wall discussion wise - theres no talking him out of anything he's too absorbed (V) - Mogar has good moments - reference the rotten flesh test w vav (K) - Rimmy Tim is getting increasingly worried ab him - Rimmy Tim mentions Mogar - Well it wasn't on PURPOSE - but yeah i did that - No, I don't particularly know how to reverse it (R) - Rimmy Tim tries talking hey what if we just did this partner like - Nothing can beat the battle buddies then this can all be done right? - Mad King brushes him off and tells him to stay out of his business - Ryan gets caught in the rain - He claws Rimmy's face oh no! his money maker! - Rimmy Tim decides enough is enough and leaves to help Xray and Vav fix this,,, fix him,,, (V) - They hear Mad King in the rain - hhhhh i dont want to deal with more monsterrrrssss - Rimmy Tim joins the team! - he explains his history with Mad King - and how he's worried - wORRIED LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MOGAR - He digs out the lesser power source that was used on Mogar - THIS made THAT *points at Mogar* (K) - Mad King is bandaged and goes to sleep off the pain and *emotions* (gross) of the evening - as he drifts off instead of dreaming he finds himself seeing through Jeremy's damaged eye - He just sees xray and vav but he cant hear a word - needless to say he feel betrayed

(Finale leadup)

- they need a plan to catch MK - Xray and Vav decide to drill RT ab possible weaknesses - he doesnt have much to contribute though they havent worked together in years and he didnt have all this magic junk going on. - and all RT's seen of the magic junk is teleporting - Well have you seen his hideout? can you explain like layout or whats going on there - oh fuck yeah i guess that is intel lemme sketch it out

- Hilda is playing around with whats the difference between the gem they stole from MK and the one that RT says changed Mogar - Mayhaps after some experimentation gone wrong she figures they cant use the thing against him but need a device that'll remove that specific energy - so you know a SUCKING machine - While she's working so closely with this she starts having enderhilda dreams but like when she's awake shes like yeah thats neat but you aint caught my interest you dumb gem

- Wait RT if you and MK used to be in cahoots do you have any powers that can beat him? - I got guns we were guns for hire you know battle buddies - wot MK doesnt use guns he plays mind games - well yeah NOW he does he uh-- didnt have it all together after our last mission

(flashback)

- Battle buddies are cleaning up after a mission - they're both pretty angry like we wound up being the bad guys AGAIN how does this keep happening - RT agrees he's not a fan of dirty cash - MK comes to the conclusion if i controlled these sheeple nobody would be calling my shots and makin me do the wrong thing - come on ryan ya cant control people thats wrong - whats a little more blood on my hands if it means making things better on the whole - and MK winds up leaving the battle buddies :C

(Finale)

- Hilda comes in like hey i got your guys's sucking machine go suck off mad king or whatever - and vavs like Alright! lets make a plan lads! - then we go to MK - he can see them coming, he's gotten practice watching through RT's eyes - he gets the machine from them as theyre barely through the door - "well I was curious what this would do but what does it matter anyways" - and he's got like some full ender shadow clones to help with the fight and they all pair off ((not like an army literally just enough to pair off MK dont need an army to beat these guys)) - the real MK personally faces off RT though :) - RT "why do i get the real ryan why couldnt you face off with like vav or something" - MK "im curious if you could shoot me 'buddy'" - RT "well I doubt i'll do something but i do owe you one ;)" and he do shoot him but yeah the bullets are stopped and do nothing - MK "I do hope you brought something else if youre turning against the MAD KING you have best be prepared" - RT "what can i say" [drops gun] "I stick to my guns" [throw punch]

- but yeah after the fighting and witty dialogue clears it looks like MK do have the upper hand - RT was left bleeding out ((stabbed through with pointy fingers oooo MK got his blood literally on his hands)) - While MK is monologuing RT sneaks into the bathroom which MK pauses mid monologue when he sees a flash of RT's bloody hand reaching for the showerhead - cant believe that fuck - and RT comes out and hoses him down ((yes it reaches that far LOOK its got a long hose)) - then MK's on the ground fucking sizzling - vav's like oh right! and jumps up to get the sucking machine and they use it on MK

(epilogue)

- Jake drops RT off where they got MK locked up and shes like "do what u gotta do man" and RT's like "thanks for understanding bud" - and he gets in MK shifts to look at him - RT starts to apologize for ruining his plan but gets interrupted as MK says "you were right" - which is a SHOCKING thing to hear from that guy - and mad king is like "thank you" - and we end on "anytime buddy."

so that was my plot I havent been kidding when I said it was a long comic plan. Its been heartbreaking to have this whole thing ripped from me but I can’t tell a story about friendship w a manipulator.

I’m not sure how long it’ll be until I actually get another thing started but I hope its soon because I was very excited to share a good long story with the xray and vav fandom and I thought this plot wouldve been like a good season worth of content

I had some draws tagged under “#its all connected” and they were all me working on this idea before I actually decided to write it out and try for a whole comic after being inspired by some close friends and the good at being bad animation collab

#xnv #xray and vav #tav script

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whencallstheheart · 6 years

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Survey Comments

Okay, I’m copying and pasting the comments in their entirety. And there’s a lot of them. I didn’t go through and edit this, sorry, but there’s a lot of good stuff in here. Each line is a separate comment unless it’s a longer comment or paragraph. Read them all below the cut!

I do not appreciate being manipulated for ratings. Series wayyy off the rails I am disappointed with the direction of the show. I will record season 6 but only watch the episodes you say are good in this blog. I'm not giving them ratings when they drag out silly story lines and neglect good ones..

Something is just off with the series. It used to be so good. I miss the lightheartedness and I'm going to miss Jack. I am disappointed that the cast/ executive producers keep saying there is hope in Hope Vally because of the baby coming. I have no desire to see that story line played out. I lived it. There is no hope or joy in growing up without a father.

The way the powers that be are trying to do damage control is insulting to fans’ intelligence. I can’t believe they knew for a year and a half and this was what they gave us. I think they should bring Jack back and say he was found alive with amnesia. I’m so mad that they dragged the wedding out until season 5 and only gave us a couple episodes of them being married before killing off Jack. It feels like they don’t actually care about the story at all, just trying to squeeze out as much ratings as possible. I feel really used. I wish they would have handled Dan's exit a whole lot better than they did, but oh well. Going to miss Jack. He was my favorite character. I'm still too numb. I loved "dark" Elizabeth. Thought it gave a lot of depth to her character. Nice to see her not be so happy all the time, it is rather unrealistic.

They should've told fans that Daniel was leaving to prepare them. It's like they are admitting they don't have confidence in the show beyond the main couple. Next season I hope they spend more time on the characters we already know instead of bringing in new people we only see for an episode or two.

Well done! You're amazing! :) ras i would like to see daniel and erin in a ,movie f their own I think they are all amazing actors/actresses. I do not blame Dan for moving on but I am sure going to miss him. Disappointed in how his exit was handled.

My favorite episode was "Heart of the Matter" but I thought the denouement in "Weather the Storm" was lacking. That story arc probably needed three episodes, but that was indicative of this season and series. The writing has always been up and down throughout the seasons. I am disappointed with Jack being gone as he is a great character, but I think I would have been more disappointed with recasting. I know the actors and writers and producers are very connected with the fans, but I would never have expected them to give me a heads up when they chose the death route. I accept that this is how it is handled. I would have loved, however, having a few more Jack-read letters to Elizabeth. I really thought it would have been great to have one in the Season 4 finale, but also one in "Weather the Storm." It would have felt a little more even and connected. Regardless, I think "In My Dreams" and "Close to My Heart" were probably the two best episodes back to back in the season. I think there are great storylines going forward, but I am also prepared for suspending reality as usual when it comes to uneven plots, missing characters, magical travel times, and pristine sets. That's how it's been since season 2 and I just accept it because while it isn't the greatest, it's good enough to keep me interested and chuckling. I really enjoy your Tumblr. Thanks for all the work you do. NA The only storylines that could get me to continue watching the show would be a Henry and Abigail romantic relationship and the development of Jesse and Clara as a couple. Take them off the back burner for a bit while Elizabeth copes with single motherhood. No, it's unfortunate that Dan wanted to leave, but that's reality. So I don't feel "cheated" as fan. I've been watching since Day 1 but honestly havent kept up with the most recent season. I was sad that Jack's character is no longer part of it, but I'm hopeful. I'll probably start faithfully watching again to see how the show continues.

Thanks for your hard work The season finale was extremely well done! Incredible cinematography! The actors and crew did an amazing job considering the pill to swallow! I hope they made J&E married life longer with a marriage at thr end of season 4 with a baby on the way! And season 5 about their married life and the baby! With an unfortunate departure for WW1 (in terms of time/date, I think we are pretty close from beginning of WW1) and a very heroic death on the field! Although I knew something not good was going to happen with Daniel’s reduced participation I had hoped it was temporary and he would be back full time for season 6. I feel betrayed and think it’s all about the ratings has nothing to do with the fans.

I love Carson's character. I love how he found himself again after losing his wife. I think if Jack cannot come back, then Carson would be the perfect character to pair with Elizabeth because they were both hurt by feeling cheated of their loves. They can find comfort, strength, and a new faith in God's plan in each other. This series is dead to me. I'm done. They should have told us in advance that it was Dan's last season. Fans were misled. The hair and makeup is completely overdone - makes it feel sooo fake. Why couldn't you just recast Jack in s4? we would have accepted that more easily and allowed the story to continue. Please don't milk something that is "cute" once (i.e. Brownie). It gets very old. This season was cruel now that we know they knew Dan was leaving for 1.5 years. They should have had a show where we got to say goodbye knowit was his last show.

Bring Frank back! Loyal fans were cheated, used and deceived. Makes me more angry to know all involved knew for year and half and yet through together the rest of J&E story.

They Mase a mis tale Wotherspoon Jack death

Season 5 ended with the wedding for me. The rest of the season just fell flat! Season 5 was extremely disappointing with terrible writing. No Bring back Jack I am upset that they had a wedding to kill off Jack and now Elizabeth will be a single parent.

no More doom and gloom next season. Elizabeth will probably die giving birth to Jack's child. I will never watch the show again. I think faith and Carson should be an item. They need to gather up the many things going on too busy.

The producers and writers dropped the ball in dealing with Dan's departure. What was the point of the wedding if they were going to kill him off immediately after. Would rather have had the wedding instead of the engagement in Season 4 and at least seen the two happy before he left for the Northern Territories. Season 5 could have had them in their home and happy before sending Jack off on his training exercise. I feel cheated and lied to by the PTB and won't be watching into Season 6. And I don't believe all the hype about Dan still being part of the Hallmark family. I've seen just about every other cast member, including the kids, in more than one movie over the last 5 years, but only one with Dan in it. That speaks volumes. No wonder Dan wanted to leave. He's a far better actor than many of the men in the Hallmark family and yet they shelved him. I could see in Dan's eyes that he was conflicted about lying to Hearties and fans of WCTH. I hope he walks away and never looks back. It's obvious Hallmark, BB and even Lori knows they screwed the pooch in the way they handled Dan's leaving and I am getting fed up with all the damage control they're doing. Why don't they just be honest and admit they screwed up instead of continuing to lie to and manipulate the fans of WCTH. If they were confident they did the right thing then why all the damage control. I guess that's entertainment business for ya. They're all full of crap and only want one thing....MONEY

They should have had Jack & Elizabeth marrying at the end of Season 2 and had Season 3 be about their married life with possibly a child, they made the mistake of drawing out the courtship way too long-very unrealistic. Also needed more in depth character development with core characters instead of bringing in new people and killing off Cat Montgomery for instance. Season 1 was the best Season by far in my humble opinion. If the writing does not improve, I will not continue to watch. They had a really good thing and pretty quickly proceeded to kill it. SAD! I miss the season one aesthetic so much, it was darker and grittier and much more real. Now it's just a pointless soap opera with no direction or plot. Jack and Elizabeth were the bar - chemistry will be difficult to match I feel like they can move past Jack's death only if they spread around the character focus. Hopefully, we will have more time with Rosemary and Lee. I want to see their family grow. I want to see progress between Abigail and Henry. Give Henry more screen time! He is such a interesting character. I so didn't like Elizabeth being pregnant, it feels like another slap to the face. Now, she has to raise this child without its father! She will probably have another love interest and it will probably be Carson. It will be interesting to see where the show goes from here.

It's just heartbreaking and unfair to the fans and the characters.

I understand that Dan is an actor and wanted to leave, but as Jack and Elizabeth were built up to be the main characters of the show(in my opinion), they should have had them go off together. To keep the show going after that they should have been building up another couple to take their place. Shows like Little House on the Prairie had main characters leave like Charles and Caroline, but the show remained with them returning periodically to guest star. I would have hated to have Erin leave, but I think that would have been the best option for the fans. Sorry, Lori you have lost a fan of your show. Good luck in your future endeavors, Dan! My overall feeling is that if the writers handled and developed other characters well, then a main character's death would be just an addition to the plot. I'm not upset about Jack, I'm upset with the lack of development. The show just doesn't hold my attention anymore. Thanks for doing this survey!!! And for taking time to listen to followers.

I did not care for the way they handled Daniel Kissing leaving. Hallmark is the channel people watch for escape, a happy ending. I will not be watching next season. Bring Jack back

No Not right now

Know many will disagree but would have preferred a recast so the characters'' lives could go on. Thanks for all that you do well if Eliszabeth is happy with carson i would'nt mind but other wise anyone apart from Charles i am good.

Writing is so sad Needed more married time. His death would have been easier if they had written it better. I think Lori Loughlin’s indluence as an executive producer led to a change in focus for the show .All of the crowd storylines took time away from the central focus from season 1, which was Elizbeth and her life. Just watching the social media interactions and the stories in recent seasons it seems as if Abigail, not Elizabeth will be the central character.

I wish I'd stopped watching after season three when I was mad they didn't at least have a proposal after his near death experience. I personally would never want Elizabeth to be paired up wih anyone from Hope Valley. No Your blog is awesome. Thank you for all the work you put into it. We appreciate it! I think the storyline I liked best was Henry's almost return to the dark side only to turn towards good in the end. I do think there will be more seasons, but I don't think there should be. The money/ratings are just too good for Hallmark to shut it down... and the "hearties" will continue to support, I have no doubt.IMO, that's why Elizabeth had to be pregnant.... ensured storylines for future seasons. Thanks for the spoilers on the last two episodes of the season, I haven't watch those episodes because of that. I think it was rotten of all of them (Hallmark, BB, Lori, etc.) to decided to kill off Jack rather than recast. Not sure if I want to watch next season because of the way they handled it. If I do watch in the future it will be for Lee and Rosemary.

I've been shocked by Lori's attitude on fb live. She was selling the damage control as the right hand of BB. Never have thought that she has so much influence on the show. I've got a very bad taste in my mouth seeing and hearing her talk about the show. 18 months of knowing it and do nothing to make the end acceptable for tke fandom. I won't support this emotional manipulation anymore. WCTH stab their fanbase in the back.

Boy do they need to work on their skills They really screwed themselves by waiting so long to get e/j married. It would have been much easier to swallow if everything wasn't so rushed. Also, I hope we get more story lines about the dangers of the frontier next season, they kind of lost those at some point.

I really miss Jack This is a cool tumblr . I'm really pissed Jack is gone I was pretty 'yuck' about the suggestion of Carson/Elizabeth, but I think with a little care and attention, it might be an okay pairing. Of course, this hinges on them not jumping into it, and preferably not failing to acknowledge that both of them can still love their deceased spouse while finding a new love. Not sure they're fully capable of doing it well, but I'll take 'reasonably decent' at this stage. Thanks for the survey! :) I just hope Elizabeth finds someone new soon in the appropriate time that we can all love and that Abigail and Henry get together or Abigail and Bill or Bill and AJ

The way the powers that be (specifically Brian Bird) have handled this is incredibly frustrating and insulting to fans. The constant deception and snarkiness is so over the top, and really doesn't jive with their whole goody-goody Christian values image that they're trying to project. Booooo.

it was an interesting season and i really love this show.

I feel it was super sad to have jack die. The fans and myself truly loved that relationship and honestly that’s a big reason I watched the show. I’m not sure if I will continue to watch or not. I feel it is too sad to not have him there anymore and the relationship between them will make it hard to see her with someone else. However, she needs to have love in her life. Rosemary needs to get pregnant but I’m glad elizabeth is. They could have handled Lessing's departure so much better, moving on with the story from season 4. Pity.

Abigail as a character is unrecognizable and by getting rid of Frank they threw away their most interesting male.

. I would like to see the series have a time jump and have Elizabeth with a new love interest I don’t think Carson and Elizabeth is a good idea but maybe if they pursue the paring, the show will prove me wrong

With a year and a half of knowing Dan was leaving the show. They could have done better. If they had married in season 4 and shown them together as a married couple for a while then he died in the northern territories and she found she was pregnant when he was gone it would have been better Keep hearing Dan was fired and then he quit. Want to know what’s happening. Only ereason I started watching was for that pairing not interested in saccharine sweet storylines and dropped characters. Nothing to add

It appears that Dan has taken on the role of resident scapegoat. The message is "Please blame me for leaving, but keep watching the show". I think the issue was Dan wanted to branch out from Hallmark and guest star on NBC where he got his North America break, and that didn't sit well with management. It' feels like the other actors are only working for Hallmark. I've been feeling dissatisified with WCTH since the Charles proposal, but I was holding on for the engagement and the wedding. Now after season 5, I'm disappointed in myself for not trusting my instincts and stopped watching three seasons ago. Aside from the cute moments between Rosemary and Lee, there's not enough substance to keep me interested in WCTH. I will continue to look for Dan in future roles and wish him all the best. I feel SO cheated! I think they should have ended it, or have Elizabeth and Jack leaving Hope Valley together and continue the show with the other characters. I don't know if I will ever watch another show from Hallmark, they used to be my happy place! Now I feel betrayed. Not happy with waiting to season 5 for all that happened between E&J. Totally a manipulative move especially when we know they have been working towards him leaving the show for some time.

Hope there is more Henry and Abigail next season. Barley got anything. Maybe if they didn't drag out the Elizabeth and Jack storyline/wedding we would have gotten to see more of the other characters.Hopefully next season will be better! just have to wait an entire year No

Questions are good, but some answers need expanding. Killing off a central beloved character is very risky, so anything after 1st 3 episodes of S6 is shakey. HM counld have handled Dan’s leaving a little better. Other thing is this show keeps getting rid of the “strong male” characters, which I don’t think is good. I love seeing shows with strong women roles, but I also like to see them paired against a strong male character. This show is lacking balance, and has begun to morph into The Widows of Hope Valley. Also, life is hard enough, that’s why I like to escape into Hallmark shows. This show could be long lived, if they develop the characters, stop making Bill so ornery and Henry depressing, and Jesse a little stronger. Lee seems balanced- take the lead from that character. Not a fan of Carson, though him and Faith could have a good relationship.One last thing, the finale was too stark and depressing, which I think also added to the fans upsetment. Thanks for taking the time to develop the survey. Just recently found your blog, but glad I did. Although there were quite a few gems this season, it felt very...unorganized overall. There was very little cohesiveness, and the storylines were (for lack of a better word) cheesey.

With Daniel not really committed to the show the past 2 seasons I am fine with his death. Not really sure how it could have been handled better since they missed the chance at a wedding earlier in the series. Hoping it will return to its earlier formula of developing other characters and storylines. Carson is boring, Frank was boring, bill is boring as a romantic lead. I don't think they necessarily had to kill Jack off if Dan wanted to leave. More stories with Lee and Rosemary

I hope they stop with all the pairing. Life isnt about that and Elizabeth should be a great teacher without a pairing. In fact teachers weren't allowed to get married and keep their teaching job. I really hope, although it is Halmark, to see more of what life is suppose to be like at the turn of the century. Or at least idealized as in Anne of Green Gables. This shows writing has gone down hill. But its Halmark paried with Oak. Overly sweet sappy love stories ahea. If they were going to have Jack and Leixabeth to get married, they should have had them married by the beginning of season four. They could have had Jack die in the NT and it would have been painful and meaningful and whatever else. Lee and Rosemary have so much potential and the writers refuse to utilize them and it’s very frustrating. I would actully like to see a relationship between Carson and Faith!

Should have found another way Incredibly poor writing with gaping plot holes and disappearing characters.

The lack of a proper funeral for Jack the character was an insult to all the character has been to the story - 3 minutes reallY! 43 minutes of grieving is ridiculous - all it takes is a letter from the dead, a ride on the horse and a talk with Opal and she's smiling - totally unrealistic.

I was widowed a couple months after I got married when I was 25. I use TV to escape so it’s dishearting that TV thinks death is the only way to close a characters chapter on the show. It’s like I lived this, I see it in real life, give me an escape. It’s been 9 years but sometimes I think my daydream about my husband coming back. I understand Dan wanted to move on, and the show could have sent Jack on assignment, he could have still been mentioned in the show and made occasional guest appearances when his scheduled allowed. That way the fans still get what they want and when the series ends we could have had Jack and Elizabeth riding off into the sunset with their family. I would have preferred not for Elizabeth to be pregnant because now not only did we actually get to see Jack and Elizabeth as husband and wife but we don’t get to see them as parents....together. Although I stopped watching the show when Dan’s screentume became less and less, I still keep up with the show here and there. I would support Elizabeth and Carson only because they know what the other has been through but I still won’t watch the show consistently.

I respect Dan's decision to leave, really sad about it but I think I felt relieved over the fact that they developed a lifelong friendship. But truth be told, those obstacles led to Jack and Elizabeth getting paid dust and honestly deserved so much more - especially with the house and baby talks they had during the season. Recasting would have turned out horribly, but I think it's pretty understandable that Jack died a hero since he's a Mountie. His life is on the line in his job. I just wish they had settled down after the wedding instead. Will watch the Christmas special, and that'll be the deciding factor if I'm sticking around. It's going to be hard without Jack, but having Dan and Erin's friendship as it is, that's something I'll hold onto. After Jack went to western teritories the show lost its momentum and it went downhill from there. It felt as if he was absent even when he was in Hope Valley. Such a shame. I want Elizabeth to be happy but I also do not want to get invested in another relationship of hers. I am also not thrilled about the baby - super predictable, and I don't think every woman would be thrilled that she has to go through pregnancy and raising a child without the father. I'm sure Hope Valley will support her, but I hope they show her struggle with that. I don't particularly like Carson/Faith (it seems like she has a kid crush on him) but I also don't like Elizabeth/Carson. Not sure what they'll do for season 6 ...

I do like that most problems start and end in one episode, I do miss the ongoing issue that runs through an entire season. Saw that season 1-3 but it lacked the last two. The financial crisis didn’t count this season. That was just poorly executed.

Pay Dan what he wants. Make it a dream,continue the show as it was. Horrible way they played along with the romance for years and then threw everything together like a bowl of spaghetti. I'm done removed it from my DVR.

I really don’t blame Hallmark for the entire mess. I fell there is a lot more to Dans leaving than has been reported. Hallmark and the Hearties jump started his career in the US and he could have stuck around to given them another season to continue his and Elizabeth’s love story and be there to see his child born. They only film for barely 3 months so I think it could have been worked. I feel Dan is responsible for taking the joy out of the series. I respect that one has to move on, but I hope for his sake that he made the right choice. Hollywood is fickle. This show has always had its faults, but both season 4 and season 5 have felt utterly directionless. Maybe that's a result of trying to steer a large ship away from Jack and Elizabeth to focus on other story lines, but it has been so very frustrating to watch. I watched all previous seasons on Netflix (I don't have cable), but I bought the 5th season because Daniel Lissing was finally back and I wanted to see the weddings I could finally put this show behind me. Basically, I bought this season out of a sense of desperate frustration. The wedding itself was wonderful (not the whole episode - just the wedding), and when Jack and Elizabeth said "Finally!" at the end, I did too. But the rest of the season? Ugh. Plot progression is so slow, if there is any. I feel like we see the same thing over and over with Lee and Rosemary, the same crisis over and over with Abigail as mayor, even the same conversation between Henry and Abigail over and over ("I'll never be accepted, Abigail" "Yes, you will. I know you're a good man."). It's exhausting. And this isn't a popular opinion, but I'm not crazy about the kids - too cheesy for me and the school scenes are so sugary sweet I can't stand it. Elizabeth has turned into a walking stick of cotton candy. Anyway, for me, I was planning on ending this show with the wedding unless something in this season really grabbed me. I haven't watched the end of the season because I already got what I came for, but I am frustrated that Jack died and angry at the way the whole production team decided to handle it - although with their plot pacing decisions over the past 5 years, I'm not sure why I expected better. This show could be so much more, but it's not.

It's the most saddest, tragical love story I've whitnessed on tv. Not only between Jack and Elizabeth, but also between Dan and Erin. I quite the show and really hope that season 6 is their last one. I don't wanna be part of a show in which fans are cheated and lied to, only for the ratings and the money. The powers to be and also the leading cast, Dan, Erin and Lori, don't deserve any attention from the fandom. The way they handled everything about the show was devestating. I will also unfollow Dan. I'm not interested in him either. To deserve attention you have to show some respect to your fans. He didn't. Only control damage, especially by Lori. I've always admired her for working hard and combining private and business live together, but this time I've got a very bad taste in my mouth considering her. Finally the show, Hallmark, the powers to be and the leading cast showed their true colors!!!!!! I wanna thank you for your time you've spent on me. It's just a show. Just some Sunday night entertainment. More Rosemary appreciation around the town, PLSSSSSS

I'd prefer that Jack's character have been played by another actor rather than removed from the show (even if he rode off happily into the sunset), UNLESS Elizabeth left too. (I think Andrew Walker would have made a superior replacement for Daniel Lissing.) I'd happily watch the show just for Lee + Rosemary, but this plot twist has squeezed all the joy out of a previously happily un-realistic TV show with this crudely presented character death. It was unfair of the network to insert gut-wrenching drama at the conclusion of a season where the (previous) worst problems were resolved in moments. Hallmark didn't allow the hero in the Aurora Teagarden Mysteries to be killed off even though his character dies in the books, conveniently sending him back to the CIA instead. But in their "family-friendly, heart-of-TV" show, they kill off the hero in a landslide instead of recasting? What a sad way to end five seasons of “sweet and naïve” television. They handled things well. I would say that I’m disappointed that they knew for so long and decided not to tell us that Daniel was leaving. However, it was Daniel’s choice to leave the show so he could focus on other things. Like they said in their live stream, they went through every option. I strongly believe that killing Jack was the best thing they could do because replacing him with a different actor would not have worked. I’ll continue watching the show and supporting the cast because they have a story to tell and I want to see where it goes. Jack's death should have been handled differently. The reaction of BB and LL left a bad taste in my mouth. Thead shows are supposed to entertain and uplift, not depress. That was a terrible way for them to get rid of Jack. I would like to have seen Jack recast since DL wanted to leave, it could have been very exciting to have a new Mountie Jack. Maybe still could be if the backlash is strong enough.

Thanks for the fun times! I feel hurt and cheated. I know its just a show but I have been crying all week, I was hoping Jack was still alive. Henrigail. Only thing I'm hanging on for. Wishing, but not bothering to hope, that they do that right. Steeling myself for continuing mediocrity.

Unless I hear that jack is miraculously back, I’m out

Definitely understand Dan's decision to leave. They could have handled it better. Especially having a long time to plan for it. Not mad at Dan in the slightest. Really going to miss him. Hope nothing but the best for all involved in the making of When Calls the Heart. Carson and Faith pairing all the way! Thanks for your blog!! I think they should have ended the show with this season since Dan wanted to leave. It would have been more respectful for the fans who have been following this show for 5 years now. I get the comment made by Lori about a lot of people depending on the show for a job. However, this show is filmed in Vancouver and there are plenty of tv jobs within that city. Also, tv is unpredictable and people who work in film know that. I just find Jack’s death as a slap in the face to the fans. They should have ended it this season. I mean let’s be honest, this show is obviously very different since it started. The quality in storytelling has gone way down.

I want for season 6 more deapt in the stories and not so many plot per episode.

This season was a huge letdown. The wedding episode was terrible. Also, Rosemary should have been pregnant instead of Elizabeth. no Thank you!

I'm done with this show. Jack and Elizabeth was what hooked me.

Overall, I think the show has the potential to return to it's former self in previous statements. But I do think it's lost its way this season. This season was a train wreck and I feel cheated on J and E's relationship. Very jerked around by Hallmark regarding the hype of the wedding. From chalkdust to eternity?! How about from chalkdust until 3 weeks from now--when you die!

Shitty season. Honestly, they could've had Jack go elsewhere and still send letters just in case Daniel did want to come back. Thanks for the survey! This has been a great season (except for them killing Jack off). I enjoyed all the stories. I loved all of the kids getting storylines. Opal's adventures. I loved the stories of Jesse and Clara. I loved Rosemary and Lee. Gowen's stories, too. I loved they tied up Tom and Julie. I hate that everything was rushed with Jack and Elizabeth and now he's dead. That is why I won't continue. I'll miss it, but life goes on.

The series touches hearts and gives hope...life isn't sunshine and roses but with faith and hope we are able to make it good... This season was wasted on filler- and they did not utalize Dan's limited time wisely. I think we are still getting half the story on why they went the route they did. In the FB LIVE You could tell Dan was given the lowdown on what he could or could not say- poor guy!

This season could have been better but they need to get rid of all the one and done people. But i'm here for Henry and Abigail. Let that ship sail!!

#When Calls The Heart #wcth survey

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russellthornton · 5 years

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How to Stop Being Taken for Granted in a Relationship: 15 Strong Ways

Enough is enough you’re thinking, but you don’t know what to do. Here is how to stop being taken for granted in a relationship.

Sometimes we must overlook our feelings of being taken for granted and put our partner’s needs first. It is a part of compromising. But learning how to stop being taken for granted in a relationship plays a big part once you realize that you’re the one one doing all the giving.

I am sure at some point or another, we all feel taken for granted in a relationship. Maybe our partner doesn’t thank us for what we do around the house or how we support them. As much as it sucks, it is normal for it to happen time and again. Maybe your partner has a super busy month at work or something is going on with their family.

But, once it gets to be the norm and being taken for granted in a relationship is starting to feel more like being ignored or unappreciated, you need to shut that down. But, how? [Read: 12 big, yet subtle signs you are being taken for granted]

Why are you being taken for granted in a relationship?

Before confronting your partner about your feelings of being taken for granted in a relationship, look inside yourself. What is it that you need from them in order to feel like everything you do is being appreciated? What do you need them to do?

Are they never saying thank you? Do they need to do more for you? Do they just need to acknowledge what you do for them? Are they acting like they expect you to be supportive and help them rather than appreciating it?

Figuring this out before talking to your partner will help you be more clear. It will prevent an angry fight and be a more open and honest discussion about your needs and what they can do to make you happy. [Read: How to know what to do if you are unhappy in a relationship]

Maybe you need to speak up more and ask for what you want. Maybe your partner is not as intuitive to your needs as you are theirs. What can you do to help them understand you?

You cannot place all the blame on them. They are not causing you to feel this way. They probably don’t even realize it. So put any resentment aside and see where you both can give and help each other feel appreciated. [Read: 16 clear signs you’re in a narcissistic relationship]

How to stop being taken for granted in a relationship

Now that you have had time to distinguish between what you can do and what your partner can do to stop you from feeling like you’re being taken for granted, you can put it into action.

#1 Speak up. I am not blaming you for being taken for granted. I have been in this position too. It sucks. You give so much of yourself with nothing in return, barely even a thank you. But, as someone who used to be a people pleaser, I went out of my way for others and let them take me for granted.

Whether they realized I felt that way or not, I never said anything. So speak up. Next time they ask you to do something, say that last time you felt like they didn’t appreciate it. Next time you do something they should make a point to make sure you feel appreciated. [Read: The real truth behind what makes a normal relationship tick]

#2 Don’t take them for granted. Sometimes we solely focus on how we feel and not how our partner feels. They may feel like you don’t appreciate them or that you take them for granted. So make sure you thank them and know you appreciate them. They may see that behavior and return it unto you.

#3 Look at your behavior. Are you going out of your way without being asked? Are you quick to say yes to anything they ask? Do you ask them to do things for you? Sure, they could be more vocal about their appreciation, but you could say no sometimes. I don’t like to say you are giving too much, but you just might be able to hold back a little. [Read: How self respect affects you and all your relationships]

#4 Say you’re welcome. If they aren’t getting it, next time you do something for them and they don’t say thank you, say you’re welcome.

Whether that be making dinner, taking out the trash, driving their parents to the airport or supporting them through grad school, when you say you’re welcome, it opens their eyes to the fact that they haven’t verbally thanked you.

#5 Put yourself first. It is nice to put your partner first sometimes, but also care for yourself. If you want to know how to stop being taken for granted in a relationship, do what you need first. Next time they ask something of you, don’t do it immediately. Take care of what you need and then get to it.

#6 Focus on your needs. Without even realizing it, we worry about our partners. I used to keep my ex’s schedule and double check that he was doing everything and if he needed anything from me. He didn’t ask me to do it, but I was on top of it.

I did not need to do that. He was a grown man and could handle it himself. But I put that extra effort in and felt overwhelmed. Instead of following my mistakes, do what you need. Focus on your work, your hobbies, and your friends. You can reach out and check in, but don’t make that your priority. [Read: How to pull back in a relationship when you’re giving too much]

#7 Say no. You do not need to say yes to everything. I know it can feel mean or selfish. But you are allowed to say no, I am sure they say no to you sometimes.

If you are overwhelmed with your own stuff, you do not have to go out of your way for them. If you start saying no to their requests, they may rethink their behavior.

#8 Give them a limit. Sure, maybe there are some things you are totally fine doing like picking up your partner’s dry cleaning or walking their dog. But, I will bet there are some things you hate doing. Yes, compromise is important, but don’t do it all.

Let them know your limit. Say you are happy to have lunch with their mom or go to their work events, but just aren’t willing to go to the ballet or boxing matches. Without making a limit, there isn’t one. [Read: How to say no, stop pleasing people and feel awesome instead]

#9 Don’t let them override your plans. This is something I did as a teenager. If I had a boyfriend I would cancel any and all plans when he texted. I would put him before friends, family, and homework. That is not cool.

If you have plans, don’t cancel them for your partner, especially not last minute. Sure, you might not see them for a few days otherwise, but prioritize other parts of your life too. It might sound juvenile, but when you show them you have other plans, they will get that they are not the center of your life, you are. [Read: The signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

#10 Wait for them to ask. Don’t beat them to the punch. You may be able to anticipate their needs and wants and think it is faster for you just to take care of it.

Instead, let them come to you. Let them ask. When they go out of their way to ask you to do something, they acknowledge they need you rather than expecting you do to something.

#11 Let go of the fear. Many people who want to stop being taken for granted are, well, being taken for granted. And we tend to be people pleasers and afraid of confrontation. We fear that if we ruffle feathers by sharing how we feel, it will start a fight.

But, if you truly want to know how to stop being taken for granted in a relationship, you need to let go of that fear and face how you are feeling. If you can’t communicate with your partner, how will you face bigger problems that may arise? [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted]

#12 Appreciate time alone. This is a big one. We often go out of our way to get time with our partner. We don’t always enjoy alone time. We do things for them so they reward us with attention or praise.

Instead, make the most of the time alone. You do not need to spend your free time with your partner or doing things for them. Watch the show they hate. Have a movie marathon. Order the take out they think smells like a farm. Do things you can’t do with them.

#13 Break out of your routine. Do you always bring your partner lunch at work or do the shopping or cleaning? They may just be used to it as your routine. And saying thank you does not even cross their mind.

I know you would like them to read your mind and offer to take these errands off your hands, but that won’t happen. Instead, tell them you are taking a vacation from housework this week. Once they get a taste of what you normally do without them noticing, they should stop taking you for granted. [Read: 15 ways to spot selfish people and stop them from hurting you]

#14 Talk about it. If you do all of these but do not sit down and have a conversation about how you’re feeling, nothing will be resolved. You still put all this effort into them to changing their behavior. You may not even need to do all of this if you are straight forward and just tell them how you are feeling.

Do not accuse them of being dense or not seeing your feelings, instead softly let them know that you feel like you do a lot for them and they overlook your efforts. They should apologize and ask what they can do to make you feel seen. Then, discuss it. How easy is that?

#15 Appreciate yourself. We cannot have our self worth dependent on praise or appreciation from our partner. Of course, it is always nice to be seen and have them be grateful for you, but if you know your worth, you may not need so much praise for your good deeds. [Read: How to draw your happiness from within]

What if you are still being taken for granted in a relationship?

If after all of this, you still feel like you are being taken for granted in a relationship, do a deep dive. Are you asking for too much? Are you expecting more than is really feasible?

If not, you may have a partner that is selfish. You may have a partner that actually doesn’t appreciate you and does take you for granted. If you talked to them and their behavior hasn’t changed, they probably don’t want to.

Sometimes they may even do better for a while, but end up falling back into their pattern of acting like everything you do for them is just what is expected.

If you get to this point, it may be time to say goodbye. Even giving an ultimatum will only help temporarily. So, if this relationship makes you feel less than or not good enough or unappreciated you deserve better even if that means being single and focusing on you.

[Read: 20 sure signs your relationship is oh-so-over already]

Learn how to stop being taken for granted in a relationship and do not look back. It may seem difficult at first, but you’ll realize just how strong and in control you feel when people stop walking all over you. You deserve better.

The post How to Stop Being Taken for Granted in a Relationship: 15 Strong Ways is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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