#i have known ppl who have a healthy relationship to the drugs they do consume

[july-19th-club]

the thing about drugs is that while i have a genetic history of fairly addictive tendencies and therefore it probably wouldnt be a good idea to get into anything too dangerous anyway, i know i myself am not likely to ever really have to worry about the temptation simply bc im too embarrassed to get high. like i dont want to meet that person and almost certainly nobody else does either. so i just dont do drugs not because they're drugs, i dont think drugs, conceptually, practically, are embarrassing or, like, ontologically morally wrong or whatever. i think they're fine and more power to those who can enjoy them, hopefully safely. but i personally cannot get high just bc i couldn't stand for anybody to see me acting silly

#personal self-control is very important to me its a whole thing #largely because when im sober i dont exactly have it so its like. why would i on purpose make it worse . for a good time? #i CANT have a good time. what if im too uninhibited????? incroyable. or whatever #so i drink but never enough to be sillydrunk and i dont get high because i dont want to be observed by others while high #ridiculous #q #like in college my friend group was largely composed of stoners etc as one would expect in an arts program #i have known ppl who have a healthy relationship to the drugs they do consume #i have known ppl who have had an unhealthy one and had to stop for their well-being #but i have simply never started bc with the exclusion of occasional alcohol and like. periodically caffeine. unless im in a decaf phase #i simply am too nervous to even contemplate the chemicals #thats also why it took me twenty-eight years to get on an ssri but whatever