#i hate waiting in airports.

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me #the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun) #so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this #and also it's my blog and i like to talk :) #related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change #it deletes like half the post you just typed out #(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother) #what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump #but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags #there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs #i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time #but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids #omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez #i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them #and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate #oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point #i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share #i'm super excited about it :) #i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main #idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process #and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources #so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see #our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored #alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well

[rimouskis]

nov. 26 and I've finished ALL my christmas shopping except for one person (sister who has yet to send out her wishlist). I feel like I've beat the system.

#the real problem is mailing most of it LOL #I was going to try to pack it in a suitcase but I got my dad this simmering sauce #I'd have to check it bc it's too big for carryon liquid requirements #and I am a CARRY-ON PERSON. hate paying to check luggage. hate waiting for it. I'm in and out of that airport asap #so into a box it goes 😔

[theflyingfeeling]

ugh guess who was finally a brave little meow-meow and booked the flights to Berlin and back 😮‍💨

#yeah i'm skipping hamburg after all :\ it just would've been a hassle lol i hate hassle #and i'm flying back from berlin on monday the 25th because flying from leipzig would've taken the entire bloody day #and considering it takes another fucking eternity to travel from the airport to my city and i kinda need to be back at work the next day #it just would've been too much lol #but yaaaaaay i'm going! kinda wish i wouldn't have waited until now to make the purhcase but that's just how i roll 💅

[keclan]

just spent fifty human dollars to have burger king delivered

#i hate this fucking house in the middle of fucking nowhere!!!!!!!!! #i cannot wait to go home tomorrow AND #i have decided to get myself a milkshake and/or a donut at the airport tomorrow #whichever i see first

[francisforever2014]

one thing about me is that i will be on the i5 north to seattle

#THREE TIMES THIS WINTER BREAK….. me and the road are one #i came up to visit my sister for christmas and then went back down and then yesterday i drove up to take the bestie to school #and i’m leaving on saturday and then going BACK UP on monday to go to the airport #that’s just pdx tho thank god i’m sooo sick of the drive to seattle #i’m in seattle a lot for somebody that hates this place #anyways i’m currently at udub doing remote work in some random building waiting for him to get out of class i’m sooo bored

[joopsworld]

Today’s the day, soldiers 😪

#I’ll probably throw up with excitement #can wait to see my bbg husband #I really hate!!!!!! knowing that they’ve been in MY airport in MY city #knowing they’re in my area is jarring and torturous

[g4rchomp]

I somehow completely convinced myself that I'm gonna die tomorrow morning at the airport (?) and on the plane and on the road before the flight so. I'm doing well 👍

[bandzboy]

every each passing day i start to realize how unnecessary fansite photos of idols at the airport are especially when they come when it’s a supposed private schedule and no one else but the media was supposed to know about 😭

#i truly hate this culture of like seeing idols at the airport #i’ve said this before but if you ever gone to an airport #and went on a trip you know how exhausting it is #especially when sometimes you have to go v early for flights #now imagine having so many people waiting for you #and watching you like you are an animal in a cage or something #ITS WEIRD #like truly there is nothing to see #if you wanna see your faves just go to a concert and fansigns that’s #where you should see them not at the airport #tris.txt

[queen-beefcake-sqx]

Happy Halloween, guess who’s sick as fuck 😫

#I stood out in the cold and rain both to get to the airport and while waiting for the vip stuff at this concert I went to #so my body hates me now #say more sadie

[florestmoon]

IM FINALLY HOME AND ALIVEEE BITCHES YAHHH

#worst experience of my life #WAHH #I officially hate airports #I’m in the car and crying bc I can’t wait to see my cats

[4thbrighteststar]

</3

#no wait listen to me. listen to me #im south asian. my grandparents were muslim. my great aunt and uncle and their children and my parents siblings are all muslim #my parents aren't. they raised us without any religion. without even our national cultural ceremonies tied to islam #dont let yourself believe for a fucking second that has nothing to do 9/11 happening two years before i was born. two years before we moved #im south asian. my dad's first name is mohammed. when we catch a flight we get to the airport two hours earlier- #to account for the time it'll take my dad to be 'routinely stopped and searched' by airport security #routinely is right lmfao. it happens every time we fly #last time i was on an american airlines flight our checked luggage ended up across the continent and took two days to get to us #(my 12yo cousin gifted us an alarm clock that made an ominous ticking noise and we couldn't shut it the fuck up- #the luggage was labeled mohammed and coming from south asia. my sibling jokes it's a wonder we got it back) #im canadian. i cried my ass off to cfa tonight bc of how touching the story of a small town coming together to help a group of strangers is #(can't help thinking that never would've happened in a bigger city? but thereby lies another tale) #and god normally i hate 9/11 stories bc it feels like two sides of my identity being pitted against each other and it makes me so uncomfy #like as a canadian i should be sympathetic towards the states and at the same time im viscerally aware of the lasting prejudiced impacts #but cfa did it so beautifully #will never get over the 'thorough search' scene. 'you will never understand'. #the lump in my throat i get every time I watch my normally distinguished and tough and coolheaded father be pushed through airport security #how resigned he is to it. how he tries to stay dignified. how scared my mom gets every time. how rough they are with him #when he usually commands respect #and yet also the pride and the lump in my throat i got today knowing it was a little canadian town that made a difference #sigh enough out of me i just have a lot of feelings #come from away #team screams

[vivalamusaine]

I wish every airport experience wasn't a constant attack on every one of my senses because if you take out all the long waiting with heavy items, yelling, rushed shoe removal, long lines, impatient and stressed people around you, confusing instructions, and body violations being in a big building and watching planes takes off would be kind of nice

#i dont mind flying but i hate travelling because every airport is bullshit #waiting in lines not being able to sit or fidget usually without wifi #makes me go feral and feel itchy #airports #neurodivergency #adhd

[besnail]

Dulles is a fine airport!

my issue Might be more with united airlines but the the amount of time i spent in hundreds-of-people-long customer service lines at dulles is like 12 hours and i simply do not want to go back to that place

#the chairs suck really bad #objectively i think clt is more hostile frankfurts security was astonishingly slow. hate heathrow #but i never really wanted to explode them with my mind. they didn't make me re-sign into the wifi every 30 min also #asks #wait also the long corridor where they play very loud music trying to get you to buy a credit card #which i had to pass like 8 times total trying to figure out how to talk to lufthansa. which actually involved #completely leaving the airport to stand in a different customer service line. which they they fucked up and held us prisoner in germany for #7 extra hours. but i digress

[dredshirtroberts]

So. My tire exploded this morning on the highway. Scared the bejesus out of me. I'm fine, I had a fullsize in the trunk and my meta came and saved me and followed me home before we went to go pick up our partner from the airport.

this happened at like. 5 in the morning. it's currently winging in on 2am. (don't worry, i had about 6 hours of sleep in the interim)

I have done my level best to not apologize for "breaking my car".

It occurs to me that there are some traumas that are going to be harder to shake the after affects of because of the (thankful) rarity of the trigger point coming up.

I was in a car accident when I was 18-19 (I think i'd just turned 19, it was spring semester finals so it was like May probably). Just me, just my car. And some trees. I've talked about it in more detail a few times. It was scary, the minivan was totaled, the airbags went off and my jaw got jammed about 2 months before my wisdom teeth surgery was scheduled. it was a lot.

I wore the shadows of those bruises for half a year. I wear the terror of the incident as it was happening every time i drive on rough roads (fuck you google maps - yes it's faster but also *what the fuck*).

I wear the devastation of my parents being more upset that I totaled the minivan than relieved that I was alive every fucking day. And moreso when I have messed something up.

I'd gotten in trouble for breaking things before - i'm unlearning the label of "destructive" and the designation of "unobservant" and "careless" very slowly. This was the first time it was made absolutely clear to me that my life was worth less to my parents than a 1998 dodge grand caravan with no working a/c in 2011 (which, by the way, was less than the tow fee to get it off the road and to a junkyard, let alone the cost of fixing what had been damaged in the wreck).

I was then accused of lying about how the accident happened for 10 years. Apparently 1 decade is the length of time i need to keep my story straight in order to be believed about things.

I still sometimes get shit about it from my family, by the way. Not as often anymore, not since they decided to believe that I really did just glance down to make sure the bug that had flown in through the window and landed in my lap wasn't going to sting me. One of the absolute most terrifying days of my life is a joke. Because I am worth less to them than a 12 year old minivan. The only reason a bug came through the window, by the way, is because of the lack of a/c. If my parents had forked over the cash to get that fixed properly, they wouldn't have been down a minivan.

(a minivan my *sister* is upset with me for totaling because she claims it was meant to be *hers*, according to her and backed up by my parents. why i was the only one who ever drove it at that point, i don't know. Make it make sense. You can't.)

it's been....it's been 12 years damn. it's been 12 years and they still get mad at me for the fact that the van is gone. None of them ever, in the times this is brought up, ever mentions that they're glad I wasn't more injured, that I didn't die.

because i'm not worth more than whatever a 1998 dodge grand caravan with no a/c was in 2011 to them.

And now I apologize for the fact that things completely outside of my control happen and items break from overuse because clearly it's my fault and i'm terrified i'll learn i was worth even less than that.

God I hate my family....

#i also had to face the realization that like... #i have the number of 2 whole people up here #and one of them was the person waiting for a ride at the airport lol #i literally did not have anyone else i could call and my brain had immediately gone #'i should call my father' #which...what would he have done? at 5am on a wednesday. he lives 700 miles away #and based on his track record the answer would have been 'listen to his ringtone for when i call because he finds it funny' #despite the fact that i *never* call unless it's an emergency #....god wow i hate them so much wow #gids you're not going to want to be reminded of the stuff i talk about under the read more #it'll just make you angry lol #though if anyone feels the incandescent rage they do at my parents feel free to reach out to gids #i think if i share enough trauma stories about them eventually they'll summon up a squad #and go kick all my family's asses lol

[hetchdrive]

what if instead of gping to work i went back to sleep. what then.

#i hate hate hate having nothing to do at work but being forced to be there anyway #i’d rather be anywhere else. i’d rather be waiting at the airport even.

[shuttledick]

i begin this week with 0 job but i will end it with 2 god willing

#i most want the comic book gig and beauty supply #bc id hate to have to go all the way to the airport to wait tables #but airport diner tips seem a lil 👀 i mean if you're eating at an airport im sure the tips are good