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lunar-winterlude · 5 years

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Answered all the questions on this post because @missingparentheses suggested it and why not. Under the cut, unless Tumblr decides to break it, in which case I apologize for the long post...............

1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? Her name was Jessie and she was a year ahead of me in Sunday school. She had long dark hair that I thought was really pretty, and she always seemed happy and confident and outgoing. I used to write her name on stuff at home and imagine that we were best friends. We talked exactly one (1) time in the years that my family attended that church, but I remember being in awe of how cool she was. Of course, I didn’t realize that I’d had a crush on her until much, much later. At the time (first/second grade) I didn’t know queer crushes were a thing.

2. What is one thing you regret having done or not done in your life? I regret not speaking my mind more.

3. Which parent do you identify with the most? I’ve always identified more with my dad which is HORRIFYING. Growing up, he was marginally easier to talk to than my mom. Things have completely changed since then, now that I’ve begun to understand my mom and the reasons behind her actions.

4. What do you think you cook or bake the best? I make good crockpot meals lmao. Chicken alfredo, chili, mac n cheese, brownies...yeah, it’s great.

5. If you could change your first name what would it be? I like my name! I do go by Shay on some accounts though, so maybe that.

6. Can you hula hoop? Hell yes. I can swivel these hips for days.

7. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Crying in front of anyone. I cried while talking to my therapist once and just thinking about it squicks me out. Before that, the last time I cried in front of anyone was my parents in 2012 (holy shit), when I got home from teaching the day the principal yelled at me in front of my class. SO YEAH if I ever cry in front of you, it’s probably because something traumatizing has happened.

8. Have you considered running for president? Nope, never.

9. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Creating stuff! Making music, crafting stories, all that good stuff. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to that. Lots of insecurities get in the way.

10. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? I’m envious of creative queer women with long-term partners and financially stable lives. Ultimately, that’s where I want to be.

11. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why? Haven’t been to many places I’d consider beautiful, but the Cape Fear River is gorgeous!

12. Are ghosts real? Maybe?

13. Are aliens real? Probably! The universe is huge.

14. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? I just checked and nothing in there is expired. My sister and I don’t play when it comes to stuff like that, and this is why we’re great roommates.

15. What are your favorite style of underwear? Boxer briefs!

16. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Joji - Yeah Right. Perfectly encapsulates how it feels to know you’re being used.

17. How about the sweetest song? Shawn Wasabi - Spicy Boyfriend. YEAH I KNOW the lyrics are nothing. But the music itself?? That’s how sweetness sounds to me.

18. Do you know how to play dominoes? Yes! My mom showed us when we were kids. It was boring...

19. What’s under your bed? A replica Joker knife I got at my first con and a baseball bat. Don’t mess.

20. Have you ever prank called someone? Once when I was like five, I called my grandpop and hung up when he answered, does that count.

21. 100 kittens or 3 baby sloths? What, to keep as pets? Neither. But if I had to choose which to hang out with for a bit??? I’m allergic to most cats but kittens are adorable.

22. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? No.

23. Why or why not? I’m still hung up on past rejections. Fixating on “what if,” and wondering if things would have turned out differently if only I’d been funnier, hotter, more clever, interesting, assertive, outgoing, etc...yeah this is a bad road and I ain’t going down it tonight.

24. How many bones have you broken? NONE

25. Have you ever won anything? Big or small? I won a spot in the NJ all-state wind ensemble on my first time auditioning after playing bassoon for a little over a year. It was a big deal because bassoon isn’t an instrument that people learn very quickly. But I spent an obscene amount of time practicing it in high school, and most of the other bassoons hardly practiced at all. That counts, right?

26. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be? A custom-built gaming PC. I want to play the Witcher 3 goddammit

27. What’s your favorite movie from your childhood? Hmmm, maybe “Honey we shrunk the kids.” My sister and I watched it again recently and it's still hilarious.

28. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Anything I’m allergic to. Keep peanut butter far away from me. Other than that, I’ll try anything once.

29. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day? Just check in on me, ask me questions, let me ramble, say something affirming, maybe give me a hug if I ask?

30. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? When I was a teenager, I liked to say that music saved my life because everyone I knew said that. But honestly? I don’t know..

31. Would you ever adopt a child? Nope, no kids here. I don’t have the emotional capacity for raising children.

32. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? I’m drawing a blank here...am I supposed to say sex stuff? I’m legit curious to try pegging a guy once, but I also have zero interest in sleeping with guys right now, so that may never happen.

33. If you were a cake which cake would you be? Molten chocolate cake. I know that “molten” isn’t referring to the temperature BUT I’m black and sometimes SOMETIMES I’d like to believe that I’m hot and oh god that was a terrible answer but I can’t think of anything better whoopssss

34. What is the most important material possession you have and why? Definitely my car. Without it, I’m screwed.

35. What is the most important memory you have and why? I’m only coming up with memories of disappointment, so I’m gonna pass on this one.

36. When was the last time you cried? I cried while watching Into the Spiderverse. I’m like Rhett when it comes to crying in movies. But only if I’m alone! Crying in front of other people is a huge nope, as I said earlier.

37. How old was your mother when she had you? She was 33

38. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Janelle Monae!!!

39. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? I can’t think of anything. There are definitely things I wish I hadn’t apologized for, though.

40. Have you been on your first date? If so, how did it go? Sort of?? I met up with a girl I was talking to online. No one called it a date, so maybe this doesn’t count. We hung out at this little bar that had board games. She was nice, but it was so awkward. We talked for two minutes, realized we had very little in common, but valiantly tried to play a board game or two anyway. Trouble is, most games are meant for more than two people, and my clumsy attempts at keeping the conversation going weren’t working. So after a miserable hour, (miserable for me, at least) we parted ways and haven’t spoken since.

She correctly guessed my reasons for coming out when I did, so that was amusing, I guess.

Heartbreak was the one thing we had in common.

#ask meme #about me #enjoy

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