#i had mutuals harass me and ppl i thought as friends not come to my aid bc of nonexistent sylki babies lmao

[neyafromfrance95]

i'm so sorry to see that you're being vagueposted about for your sylki takes. it may be true that how you see sylki is a bit different than a certain section of the fandom, but that doesn't at ALL mean that you shouldn't be allowed to have your own takes! fwiw, i followed you bc i actually agree with and really enjoy ur perspective on sylki. i was getting frustrated with how many people seem to view this ship in a super heteronormative way and want sylvie to basically become a housewife, and i was so glad to find a blog that felt the same way. this fandom has become tiring tbh with how many people are now freaking out that sylvie hasn't immediately started having lokis babies in s2, and i really wish that people would at least leave room for others to have their own opinions!

this! that section of sylki shippers do not leave any room for you to have your opinions! they act like a fanon police controlling what you say in your posts on your blog!

and god forbid that what you say opposes their own hcs and takes, if you commit this unforgivable sin of having a take that is different from theirs, you better be ready for some good old online group harassment! they will make you feel like you are not welcome in this fandom, they will make sure that you are hurt, they will alienate you and force you out!

but no, you are the bad guy for jokingly calling a fandom in general "vanilla" and saying (after several disclaimers that it's your personal opinion) that when it comes to canon, you don't think that sylvie should be all about being loki's housewife.

at this point i honestly hate this fandom. there are some decent sylkis out there and i love the ship itself, but a big portion of the fandom has simply sucked all the joy for the series out of me. i wonder if they realize what the consequences of their behavior could be? back when i said (in my blog) that i don't think sylvie having babies is a compelling completion of her story in canon, and this bunch came to my blog to harass me for my takes, i was in a very *very* bad place already, and the space that was supposed to be my escape pretty much turned on me and added up to an already depressing state i was in.

and bfr anyone says that it's just a fandom wank, let me tell you that these people know how to be really cruel, whether they realize it or not, their behavior is simply cruel. they don't just argue in favor of their opinion, they shit on you personally, get aggressive towards you personally, make you feel like you "can't sit with them", ect. it gets really creepy and ugly.

and the thing is, i never addressed anyone specific in my posts, i never said *this* person and *that* person have shitty hcs/takes, i never even vaguely hinted at a distaste towards the hcs/takes of someone specific, but they accuse me of pointing fingers. when i said that i didn't think canon sylvie having babies would work, i never said anything about sylki babies in fanfiction, yet people accused me of pointing fingers at the fic writers. and they would come to my blog, harass me in the replies and asks, and talk about how despicable i am in their own blogs, and it went on and on for a while.

thanks for your nice words, anon, they are uplifting. and to those who can't stand me so much, don't worry, i'm going to leave this fandom once the series is finished. i hope you are satisfied that being a shitty, gatekeeping, narrow-minded, egocentric person worked for you! but don't ever feel entitled to complain about how lokius shippers treat you.

#asks #sylki #sylvie laufeydottir #loki #i regret ever getting invested in this fandom i really really regret it #learn from my mistakes my friends #unfortunately a lot of your mutuals aren't actually your friends #they are going to turn your time in the fandom into hell if you dare to voice your unpopular opinion/hc on your own blog! #i had mutuals harass me and ppl i thought as friends not come to my aid bc of nonexistent sylki babies lmao #anyways anyways #you win! good job at forcing the last sylki who has unpopular takes/hcs out of the fandom! #you could have just muted or blocked me but i guess it was your duty to make sure it was clear that sylki fandom hates me! #oh & thank you for destroying my desire to ever read a sylki fic vanilla or not bc i can't be sure that it's not written by someone who #felt so insecure bc of my hcs that they decided to ruin the fandom experience for me! #mf i never insulted your fic i'm sure i have never even read it i was simply ranting about what i would like to read in case there was #someone wondering if there would be an audience for that sort of thing #and i never told you not to hc sylki/sylvie a certain way when i ranted on my blog how i don't think housewife!sylvie would work in canon! #but deep down you know that you just don't want anyone to have a different hc/take #again don't worry! you won! hope you are happy! #actually you managed to destroy my desire to be in any fandom ever! i should replace fandom with grass-touching bc maybe the lack of said #grass-touching is the reason some of you think everything is about you and targets you and your precious hcs #god i just cant stop thinking regretful i am for getting invested in this fandom when so many shippers turned out so hypocritical bad peopl #maybe one good thing that may come out of this is some poor soul reading it and getting a reality check regarding twitter/tumblr fandoms #DON'T GET ATTACHED THESE PPL WILL HARASS YOU AND HURT YOU OVER MADE-UP BABIES #it's not worth it! prioritize your mental health! #i have wasted so much of my time defending sylkis from the antis here & on twt only to have the majority of them turn on me #i want my time back god i really want all that wasted time back #why are you mfs sending me angry asks i told u that u won i'm leaving this fandom what more do u want from me?! #im not wasting my life in the fandom where the mfs would harass a real person bc of their parasocial relationship with hc babies #be content with hurting and forcing a person out of the fandom bc u took smtng that wasn't targeted at u too personally

[vicsy]

are u okay vic? sending love xx

(hateful ppl only have hate in their sad lives and try to bring everyone else down to their depressing level, don’t listen them!!)

frankly, anon? no, i am not.

and if you think about it, it's incredibly stupid to be all torn up because of a fucking sport I watch for general enjoyment but what else is new? i got into f1 when life hit the absolute possible low for me and it helped me immensely through it all, still does, and i found so many friends and wonderful people and i started writing again. it's pure fucking escapism coming back to bite me in the ass.

it hasn't been great to be an f1 fan lately because of events I don't need to be recapping - it's all out there in its disgusting glory, all over social media every single day. we're just being reminded of how rotten the core of this sport is and how high of a role money and power play. it's not new but disappointing nevertheless, considering there isn't much we can do to try and fix that.

but the hate among us, the fans? it's getting out of hand.

i will never go out on my way to police anyone's behaviour (it is never justified) but clearly there is a line between haha jokes and pure fucking malice. there is having genuine, critical conversations you can have (recently had one with my close friend and it was so refreshing to talk instead of secretly talk shit) and using this sport as a yardstick to measure someone's morals. it's been happening more and more, considering recent comments made by drivers in regards to the ongoing case that deals with harassment. that opened a can of worms that made ALL of us unhappy and even more disappointed, in one way of another. there is expressing genuine opinion and then there is being a hater because it's a trend.

are all Charles fans insane? are all Daniel fans delusional misogynists? are all Lando fans insufferable pricks? are all Max fans outright racists? are all Lewis fans stuck up? I could go on and same sentiment goes for each team on the grid. can we rightfully define someone by who they are a fan of? are we all required to make a statement each time a driver says/does something mindnumbingly stupid in order to, god forbid, not get cancelled along with that driver? can we genuinely bring a driver up without shitting on the other or is it not mutually exclusive?

there has been a barrage of hate towards several drivers and i get it, i do, it's sports, we're always gonna get like this. it's the whole spirit of it. i am not saying we can't root for someone and talk shit about the other. but again, i am seeing the waves of hate getting bigger and bolder, assumptions being made on the spot. people openly calling each other stupid over being fans or having a different opinion. in some ways any sense of compassion and critical thinking is dead in a ditch.

it wasn't like this before, if i am honest, but i am also a rather new fan. i am seeing all sorts of stuff on my dash both from people i don't know and from people i do know. it's a knee jerk reaction, to go and judge someone by posts and stuff, i know it but i made myself not do that. but i am just afraid of this ongoing trend of hate. i really am.

it just seems like there is no margin for error. your fave can either be squeaky clean, completely unproblematic, or they should be shot on sight. it doesn't matter if any of us acknowledge it or not. for some reason, it's a "you are what you eat" situation. and i find it rather unfair. you can separate person and a driver. two things can be true at once etc etc. none of it warrants wishing actual harm on other people.

so yeah, sorry for a rant. i'll stop now and, for what it's worth, i have been trying to unlearn the ways of "people pleasing", so here are just my thoughts that i don't think many will agree with but i don't want to bend under whatever popular opinions circulate here (especially by "big blogs"). i'd rather have people talk to me personally and i am always open to having a conversation, making friends and discussing opinions. those at the head of f1 management don't seem to do better but us tearing each other apart can also mean that we aren't doing any better, too. at least i personally think so. don't take my word as a generalized opinion.

thank you for the message, anon, i appreciate it. sorry again to be Like That. big hug!

#asks #personal #not tagging it #also the hate Lance got for his crash will never not be astounding

[bleetingramz]

I saw what happened on Twitter and Jesus fucking Christ. I really hope you're resting and taking care of yourself. Those people should be fucking ashamed of themselves harassing a person over a character

Honestly, I can say I’m okay and that it doesn’t affect me, but it does.

Context:

So earlier today I hosted a space on my Twitter, (and for those of you who don’t know what a space is, it’s essentially twitters vers of a Voice chat, except you can pick who’s allowed to speak) the space was titled “lore space but we bully c! Dream” it was meant to be a harmless joke title, and I’ve always been very open ab my personal opinions on c! Dream. (They are /neg) now, what’s important to note here is that previously, an hour or so before the space, I was mass QRT’d by c! Dream apologist acc’s on two of my tweets that had my opinions on the character. I blocked pretty much every person QRT’ng, and deleted the tweets. Then I held the space an hour later. So a few minutes into the space, it’s only my friends and I, and we’re talking about lore topics. Then I notice a sudden influx of acc’s who’d joined the space, they were all priv acc’s and had Dream related pfp’s, Display names, etc. so I jokingly was poking fun at it and genuinely thought I had been set up or something like that, since an hour before hand I had been mass Qrt’d, and then after another minute or so, me and my friends realized there were almost 100 ppl in the space at that point. Which caught me way off guard. Now I suppose I might have been a little rude sounding near the beginning, or coming off that way, but I had my reasons to think that the ppl in the space had joined because of my previous, (deleted) tweets. So amongst my friends, I decided to let someone speak, because we decided to have a “debate” after realizing that most, if not all of these accounts were Dream or c! Dream related. The first person to speak’s reasoning for liking c! Dream was that they thought that c! Tommy was annoying, and I made the mistake of kicking them from the space, because this made people really upset, and I also kicked someone who said pretty much the same thing, I said that they were British (BC they were) and kicked them as a joke, at the time I genuinely wasn’t thinking and wasn’t really taking it that seriously. Then a few big accounts joined the space, and then we had 400 ppl join, the number going up every time I checked. So then came the flood of DM’s from ppl in the space, some were requests to speak, others were saying that they had a good argument or points to talk ab and discuss, and some were also DT’s. (Death threats) so immediately I was overwhelmed, and in Hindsight, should have probably ended the Space right then and there. However I decided it might be interesting to have actual civil discussion or verbal discourse ab the topic, so I began to accept the speaking requests, another problem ppl had was that I had only let on one c! Dream apologist after the other ones (forgot to mention this earlier, but there was also someone who had screamed that we should all go k!L! ourselves and then proceeded to leave.) had left, (now it’s also important to note that there were around 5 speakers who were my mutuals already in the space verbally expressing their opinions, and I do agree that it was unfair of me to have only let in one c! Dream apologist at a time at first like ppl said, but at the time I just wasn’t thinking ab it, and ppl attacked me severely for that) then a really big acc with I believe around 37k or 3k had joined, (I genuinely don’t remember which) and we tried to bounce from lore topics surrounding c! Tommy and c! Dream, but I believe there was a lot of interrupting going on since there were a lot of ppl talking in the space at once, (again, I was severely overwhelmed, and spaces when they get big are hard to manage.) I wasn’t purposefully interrupting them, but there were a lot of ppl talking so it came off that way, they left after a bit, I check my DM’s and then realize I received even more messages saying how I was immature, bad at holding “civil debates” or that it was unfair that I was only letting one person from the other side of the argument speak at a time, they also claimed that I was “setting smile twt up” and other stuff like that. -This is too long already so I’ll continue in the next post

[blushingtendertiel]

Never thought I'd end up doing a callout post but well, xxdemonicheartxx is a fatphobe and a racist

Some of the receipts are pretty old bc when it happened I just blocked them and moved on but bc tumblr blocking system is what it is they still have been present on my dash. With recent conversation with a friend I got to know they also had very unpleasant posts during blm protest that make it easy to assume they are a racist as well.

Like I hope I don't have to explain to you why that is fatphobic or racistic. The fatphobia incident happened couple years ago but around the early 2021 spring when someone asked them about it in the post they just deleted it, so I assume they still hold these views. And the post where they compare blm activists to animals and have very cold bootlicking takes of it all is recent and still in their blog.

In both cases you can see how they thinly veil their opinion in false concern for ppls health or safety, at the same time mocking them. They clearly have no clue of what the reality is for these people or what is happening. It is just pure bigotry. If you find yourself agreeing with them please educate yourself.

I don't want ppl to harass them or anything I just want to make the community safer for minorities. Block them and move on. I have unblocked them for a while if they'd like to explain themselves.

Another reason why I am just now making this post was that I am not sure do ppl care about fatphobia and if I would have come forward claiming them to be a fatphobe would ppl in the community have supported me or not. It's a sad and lonely place to be when I can't be sure would my mutuals agree with me on such an important humans right issue as fatphobia.

#flight rising #drama

[septembersghost]

your fake ass king said it, he knows dw was a piece of shit who had nothing to offer the world. dw knew it himself, you were all too stupid to listen to him when he said it every few so episodes a season. he had no purpose and you all really thought you did something when you defended him and thought he should live. if even ja can finally admit that he was a worthless husk of a person, then it's time for all of you to face it too. he was NOTHING wout the better ppl around him and a burden to all

preface: 💖✨ friends, mutuals, and followers, I adore and treasure you and am very sorry for this post ✨💖

I almost didn’t publish this, but then I thought - what’s the preferable option here, delete it, and let you believe it injured me enough to hide from it, or feed your rampant derangement [derogatory] by answering it? (the irony of my kindhearted anon the other day saying they hoped no one had been mean to me makes this even more suspect, were you chilling in the corner, waiting and hoping for something to pounce with, or is this just random bitterness overflowing? I would like to analyze you).

may I please point out that this is not what he said, it's like one of them speaks and then it becomes a game of telephone, and what is eventually concluded is not what was originally stated. I’m not going to argue with you further because reading this, I am aware that your particular form of hatefulness is not going to be combated or changed by me countering it with canonical facts or emotionally eloquent rebuttal. I don’t know who you think you’re defending when the “better people around him” loved him immeasurably. I could tell you that this is comically reductive, unimaginative, black and white thinking utterly lacking in depth, nuance, or insight, but this is what you believe, and it is your choice to live in your own constructed ugly hellscape, so enjoy rolling around in the muck if you must.

what I will say is that this behavior is vile and immature, if not altogether disturbing, and as someone who does not participate in quite a bit of the culture of this fandom (this is a TINY blog, do you think you’re going to get attention by acting like a shrieking harpy? ma’am - or sir, or whatever your preferred title, I don’t know your life - I have NO reach, there are people who have thousands of followers and it would be odious of you to bother them, but why you chose insignificant little me is truly baffling. put on a mask, and take a walk around the block), nor have I ever felt the need to send anonymous hate mail, and I am QUITE certain you know better than this, but have seen the fact that I...I don’t know? love a character? genuinely grieve him? openly write thoughts and my own (totally subjective! it’s my mind and my blog!) perspective on the metaphors in the text because it interests me and I care enough to be invested in that? struggle with physical and mental health conditions? and decided I was a cool target at whom to direct your ire. the thing is, as hurt as I have been, you have absolutely no power to harm me, because you are like one pesky little gnat in the midst of a dense forest. I have bigger things to deal with, one swat and you’re out.

I’ve only been back here for a few months, and I’ve had interactions with old friends and new that I will cherish. I never had drama until you decided to come here with a shockingly bad take (I never had drama on my old blog that I inhabited happily for many years because I had anon turned off, but I have it open here to allow people to talk to me without anxiety, if they want to! you’re not going to get me to close it, so harassing me does not give you an edge there). I’m probably not going to be here much longer, I’m amazed every day that I’m still around with internet access and made it to March. that’s not the fandom, that’s my life and the fact that I’m on constantly borrowed time. so you can send me whatever, but it doesn’t make a difference. you can’t chase me off of Tumblr, you can’t take him away from me (it’s WAY too late for that. learn to time travel, and if after you’ve accomplished that incredible, groundbreaking feat, you’re still this pressed, then go back to that September night and tell me not to watch the pilot). at some point you can gloat and cackle in my absence, I really don’t care. if my loving a/these character(s) and a story this much bothers you, then watch me rub my delicate, damnable little hands all over everything.

I wish I could appeal to your humanity or sense of decency in telling you that describing someone (real or fictional) in the terms you’ve used here is unconscionably damaging and cruel, and no one who lives with trauma or depression or suicidality (or all of the above) deserves to be told they’re worthless or a burden, but your lack of empathy tells me that, too, would have no marked effect. You'll never be a first-class human being until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty.

I may live with pain and ideation and a thousand things you’ll never comprehend, but I still have compassion and a beating, caring heart. try it out sometime, you might start to find some actual joy in the world, instead of whatever hollow, miserable mess this is.

#anon idiocy #ps: if it's sam you think you're doing this for please ruminate DEEPLY on the fact that he would not hesitate to punch you in the face :) #pps: if it's cas you think you're doing this for please consider the fact that he smote people for less? :) this is not a good look #touch some grass #but make sure to get back to your cave before the sun comes up and you turn into stone #i don't recommend playing with sweet animals bc you seem to have psychopathic tendencies and i care about animals #but like...do something constructive #i get that you REALLY think you have something on me here #but you're just wildly misreading text and commentary #it's not my job to fix that for you #as tswift once said: like can you just not? #she also said: the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate #and you know...maybe those two aren't her most poetic lyrics but they sure are accurate

[toycarousel]

Hey I want to vent and some cheering up I just lost all my online friends because one said I was abusive to my pets and they believed them and now I have no one to vent to and I'm very suicidal and last night I almost took my own life I really want some help and I just dont know who to talk to It makes me so sick they believed her and I just am so depressed I just want something from you personally because your my favorite voice actor and your so kind tysm for listening and maybe responding!!!

***(I’m not a professional of any sort, so I can only offer casual advice/peer support, and I’m also going to link to some resources for you at the bottom of my response! Be sure to check them out, especially if you’re afraid, or in danger, and/or you just need someone to talk to!)***

Hey there, Anon! : O That sounds absolutely horrendous, having to experience all that... it’s... rly, rly unfair that your other online friends didn’t fully listen to your side of the story before suddenly just making the decision to break off their friendships with you.  

My sister had a very similar experience yrs ago.  After coming back from a club with a couple of her then-friends, and going to their house to sleep, the friends (who were beyond intoxicated), got into an unrelated spat with her, and suddenly just accused her of trying to hurt their cat.  And literally anyone who knows my sister even the tiniest bit would know -- beyond the shadow of a doubt -- that she’d swallow a burning hot branding-iron before she’d ever harm an animal (especially a cat, she’s THE quintessential cat person).  

Despite that though, these friends still told their other, mutual friend, and that person bailed on my sister for a while without even asking her what happened, based solely on the lies these ex-friends told about her behind her back.

I wanted to share that to basically say that, often, we can’t control the bad or cruel decisions that the other ppl in our lives make -- but that these experiences can rly tell you a lot about what kinds of ppl your friends truly are.  A good friend will care about you enough to know you’re a good person and to listen to your account of things.

I’m hoping you have the chance to talk this out with your friends at some point, if you feel like preserving these particular friendships is still healthy and worthwhile for you.  Otherwise, I’d aim to pursue friendships with other people -- I know this is easier said than done, and it can definitely take time to build up that connection with other ppl, but I have faith that you will find folks who are honest, open, and kind.  There are good ppl out there who won’t spread nasty rumours behind your back, and who will be openly communicative with you whenever either of you is concerned about something/has a disagreement.

Right now, your other friends might be unsure of what to do, on their own ends.  I don’t know the overall personality of the person who spread misinformation about you, but in some unhealthy/imbalanced friend-groups, there will often be a person who holds more power/sway over how the rest of the group is expected to feel and behave.  This is never a good dynamic to have amongst friends.  And if that’s how your friends felt about this person, they may just have been too afraid to speak out and challenge them (which is still incredibly unfair to you, tbh).

In any case, what matters the most is that you know your own truth.  You know you didn’t do what this person said, and that you’re a good person, Anon!  Remember that, and hold it close! The lies that people tell about you cannot ever take your truth from you.  

It can be effective to clarify your side of things to other people and to try to clear your name if you want to, but if it’s stressing you out to do so, then I’d just take a step back, personally, and spend time focusing on entirely different things -- it’ll be emotionally painful to move forward, for sure, but in time, either your friends will have realized they made a mistake and apologized, or you’ll have already made newer, much healthier friendships!

Take time for yourself whenever you need, block and report anyone who tries to harass you, or who says/posts things that hurt you, and again, remember that, no matter what anyone says, you’re not the person they tried to make you out to be.  And what they did says a whole lot more about them than it does about you! There are lots of ppl out there, and while you’re in a lot of emotional pain right now, I know, for absolute certain, that you’re not alone in this sort of experience, and that you will find people who are compassionate, and who actually deserve your friendship! 

It’s always okay to vent here if you need/want to, Anon, and I wish you the very best! Take good care of yourself~

https://codedredalert.tumblr.com/post/109005732295/helpline-masterlist (masterpost of crisis hotlines)

https://www.7cups.com/ (free online counselling/support, available through phone, text, and online chat!)

https://togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline (more resources and helplines)

https://themuserofpsychology.wordpress.com/2016/01/30/preoccupy-negative-thoughts-self-help-master-post/ (a masterpost of various calming sites and coping techniques that can help get you through especially painful thoughts/feelings!)

#friendships #advice asks #resources #mental health resources #ask to tag #Anonymous

[moomoof]

Stop it.

I was friends with this person for almost 2 years and it the last few months it turned into a toxic relationship.

We used to do hangouts and talk about issues we cared about on his channel but i found myself not being comfortable with some of the topics

 but if i ever voiced i didn’t want to do the show he would keep pushing the issue and i was weak to put a stop to it.

 That’s not to say i didn’t enjoy the shows cause i did buti  didn’t want ot do them all the time .

The problems started with our view points really 

I personally feel like he hid his real views out of fear of being abandoned or maybe he just posed as a liberal to ge friends who knows this is all speculation on my part after thoughts . 

This post is just to let out all my angst and frustration. 

I didn’t handle the last encounter withh im well i should’ve just said what i wanted and left i hoped he would understand but what scared me was his reactions again i wanted out of his show at least for a little bit 

i would suggest he find other ppl he would pick up on the hints ...

i was going though a rough patch with my health and i had no energy what’s so ever i didn’t want to disappoint him so 

..i told him straight up i couldn’t do it  to get our mutual friend and o  it with him he seemed annoyed at least in text

 i didn’t speak with him directly then i saw the show live with our friend and ..

his reaction to my illness was annoyance he was like she’s off ill or

 whatever the hell hshe has with the biggest eye rool i ever seen

 ...and then even if i told him multiple times

 i was ill i did'nt want to talk he tried to force me by calling my hangout

...and he was rude to our friend cause i suspect he was jealous of our friend or annoyed

 that our friend was trying out his own show i don’t think my friend picked up on this  

He lied about how his old friends broke up with him 

 Of course i believed him ....well actually no for a while now i wasn't believing him cause he lied or omitted things i found them out on my own. 

That's the heart of the issue it was a slow crawl but i woke up and wasn't going to be used by him.

Like i was saying i was sick he didn't care i told him i can really do this show cause i have things to do or i honestly didn't want to i told him that once but... a disturbing patterned emerged with him. No matter what i said or did he would act like i didn't say it and want his way. In the long run i got anxious around him any time i had an opinion he will shoot it down i couldn't express myself on my twitter feed without him screaming at me and somehow making me feel dumb.

I told him on many occasions i was emotionally abused and physically abused nothing. He of course said he was there for me to chat but i don't like talking about that stuff to ppl. But i suspect it was an empty gesture put there to pretend to be a good friend but in the end he wanted just a person to speak to cause he had issues but also he would use those issues against you. one year ago he said something awful or something like that and i disagreed true i got heated he screamed when that didn't work then he play oop i'm anxious card that then played with others and me for ever more.

He had to be right all the time. He had that stupid internet idea that if you don't have evidence of what you are speaking then you are wrong! or shut up even tho i never really went to his feed after a while cause i was tired of arguing. 

He enjoyed arguing.

Then the big event that woke me up. 

We were arguing about jill stien or third party voters actually i was talking about it on my feed and he shoved his opinion in my face....

yelled at me then i tried to be funny and say get with the program! with the clapping emojis 

He flipped a switch and said i was stupid by saying oh you think i'm dumb? really? ok then your writing skills are mediocre at best or worse actually. (yes i am aware my writing is terrible) but a personal attack like that for no reason hit me hard. 

He just...went to that , that's what he thought about me ...i suposedly let go but it churned for days i have very low selfesteem it took me years to get out of a dark head space. He knocked me down. He hates everything i am cause i do agree with him. That was my head space the next few days i wrote warnings but didn't name him. 3 changes and then i block you don't care you are my friend if you hurt me and put me in a dark space i am cutting you off. He got weirder with me hostile almost after then we butted heads and we airred things but i somehow had an inkling it wasn't safe to talk in the dms i talked in public ...it was weird i suggested we should take a break i wanted it so badly....he said no... and i caved and went back to the same shit different day. Then the last draw happened 

I hate susan sarandon's white feminism i fucking hate it i hate her i hate that she cares three fucks about what she created 

He has this weird white knighty behavior that he will attack you for talking shit about his favorite ppl. 

He also probably felt personally attacked he thinks i somehow am talking about him all time. 

We got heated i was already tired of his shit i started to withdraw from our supposed friendship. Then he did it...he attacked my identiy aka my puerto rican ness and added hillary to it he later deleted it. So he can claim he didn't know what he did to cause my silence but more on that later. He knew that after Maria the hurricane i lost family i wasn't connected to the for weeks i had to worry aobut their well being for months without being able to do nothing ...i was a wreck for months he knew i told him, it was on his show too ( he since deleted all of them GOOD!) I did not deserve this more over i had a very hard anniversary coming up as well not to mention it was september ( still is) i lost my cousin and everythign that i knew as my world this month and it was Maria's anniversary. He just threw it in my fave he used my pain to win a stupid internet argument.  I decided to ignore him for a week or so until i can figure out what to do with him, talk to him again, stop talking to him so often but still be friends or completely run away in fear.

I could not speak to him it hurt it really hurt he used my pain against me i could not trust him....and the silent treatment happened. 

The next day he acted like nothing happened and asked me if i was ready to talk about gay muppets like nothing happened ( the whole bert and ernie incident) that scared me ....he acted like everything was ok ...it wasn't it could be clear for anyone that it wasn't...

i muted his feed and muted him but twitter doesn't understand that maybe ppl want not to get notification from a follower or person you are following for a bit...

He kept liking my stuff in the hopes i would be happy? this is speculation on my part...

He commented on my posts to see if i would bite. 

 i ignored him hoping he would get it i muted hangouts cause i feared he might call 

i had growing fear my heart would race thinking he was there replying liking and dming me...

This might sound dumb but ...it isn't it is harassment...

His former friends mentioned this he would use his second account to spy on them months after the fact they blocked and left him behind..that should've warned me.

He would mention them a lot. Like i said earlier i believed them but i didnt let on to him that i suspected something happened...at first i thought well they should've told him why and then block him and during the a conversation he did something and they didn't likee it's normal ...let it go ..in my head... i nodged him to write it out and let it go in a nicer way.

 But he was controlling i saw it when he hated when friends posted somethign he would scream about it...

They mentioned that they felt free from his smug behavior that he would not value their opionions and then later one of his ex friends said it wasn't the change the channel movement but the how he held certain views on gamer gate..when i voiced my own he screamed at me cause he felt like he knew better and how dare you think otherwise!

He would go into these rage fits over this topic, if you didn't agree with him , eye roll 

condescenion and disdain. This was the topic which lied about and the ppl he lied about or omitted it cause if he didn't he could push his narrative which was that gamer gate was a good movement ...by ignoring all the misogyny and abusive behavior cause he hated ppl on the attacked side. He hated that todd in the shadows blocked him for saying awful things about his friend. He kept on and on about that...like it was a bad thing...

He believed a group of rapey men that wanted a transgender woman to die and claimed she raped her sister... i will not go further into this. 

I put my feelings on that forward he would probably be annoyed in his head about it..whatever. 

He hated lindsay ellis cause she liked the tweet that told him off for harassing todd and his friend..

Sorry to his ex friends for my words about them cause i believed him for the most part and i did care about him i wanted ot make him feel better. 

i was wrong i fed a monster.

I wanted a week of peace away from him ...didn't happen he kept on and kept on ...he even got our mutual friend involved and lied .... he lied he said to him oh she's angry at me cause i don't know i did something wrong i am worried about her ...she's sad about stuff and the world is a bad place blah blah making me sound like the problem...

remember our mutual friend can't really pick up on these things 

He asked i just told him not to be dragged into this cause i was pissed off 

then i said it was nothing i was fine. and i moved on and ignored him some more...

He kept going ...

Then finally he did th final final thing and made up my mind for me.

He tried to guilt trip me into being his friend again or even to talk to him it scared me ...i blocked him completely on everything

he said you are hurting...me 

me?! i hurt him what? he hurt me he didn't care and he dares to accuse me of something i never did so he can look like victim yet again! 

That pissed the shit outta me i got tired of his toxic domineering personality 

He wanted to control you by making you feel bad about challeging him on his views about having my own views for breathing for not wanting to do the thing he wanted on the day he wanted ...

him not caring about my illness really hurt me... he hurt me and i still have the anxeity and have it in my head his words ....i want it gone...so i wrote this to stop it! 

He was not worth it...he's a bad person toxic it's not your fault...

I reached out to one of his ex friends i needed reasurance ...i needed to know i wasn't crazy and seeing something that wasn't there ....now its over i want never to ever see him or talk to him again. 

I recount times were he said awful things like ugh when my face showed up on the hangouts ...like my face is ugly...

i took pictures he would say geez or something like that ignored it..

he laughed at my lack of furniture or equipment..to do audio work...

He even got super hostile with me when our mutual was with us...cause i didn't agree with him ...

I wrote a memorial for my cousin and he sullied it by commenting on it moments after he hurt me like a psycho...

Now i know why he kept trying to bring up his friends cause i interacted with mutuals he wanted to know if they told me about him...and for weeks i struggled to find out by asking them but i never did...

He is disturbed i am stupid for allowing it to continue to this point i don't know how far he would've taken it but my psyche could not take it anymore...

He even made fun of my drinking 

it was a terrible idea to engage with him but i honestly thought he was a someone else like a person i watched turned out he wasn't he was using an account to get ppl to like him then he change later i guess...

Maybe i'm wrong maybe he isn't all bad just immature but i don't care he scares me and hurt me...sorry for this post but i need it out of me 

[aleister-rourke]

since the whole “high school experience” thing is #trendy now, i figured i’d put in some things i experienced during my high school years to be hip with the kids

category F2 tornado that got me out of a month’s worth of classes my senior year

eventually setting up school in a WAY too small space, cramming literally the entire Preschool through 12 grade students there

getting to come in to classes later than usual because i only had certain classes in the morning

getting out of phys ed my senior year because my music and band teachers worked together to convince the PE teacher to let me teach the fifth grade band instead which was probably illegal

immediately sharing answers with my friends after the PSAT which was also probably illegal

brian the stoner

for context, he was kind of the lazy asshole of my friend group, and we all liked to make fun of him for smoking weed

“pear juice”

which started as a random thing that we all started saying at lunch and devolved into a sexual euphemism very quickly

i came out in my study hall period and half the people in the library came out to me too???? one of them showed me a picture of her girlfriend and i stg i was LIVING

we all started playing D&D together and roped my crush and his best friend into it for one (1) day

the dragonborn ranger straight up introduces himself by us opening up a coffin to find him inside, jacking off to the golden girls

which then devolved into “who are these gilded women”

said dragonborn ranger was my crush’s character

senior prom i got all fancy and everybody told me that i looked like cinderella?? and i was like “fuck yeah”

i actually fucking,,, won prom queen???? even though i’m a 5′6″ spite baby??? whomst the fuck would’ve thought

going to brian the stoner’s place of work and harassing him

he now works a factory job suck it brian

there was one legendary fuckboy named heath. and he had a mullet, basketball shorts, and cowboy boots on every single fucking day. he tried to hit on every girl in the school once. and he actually fucking succeeded. how did he do it

during psychology class my teacher straight up started playing the Hamilton soundtrack

me and aforementioned psych teacher bonding over the fact that we’re both full of irrational liberal rage

i asked my crush out to prom through poetry as only i can do, based on the poem he read for speech contest

he proceeded to never talk to me again

to this day i have a crush aesthetic blog and his tag is “fuck you”

i said the fuck word during a band trip and everyone just stared at me with the widest of eyes and then proceeded to swear an oath not to tell anyone that i did it

communal band water

for context, i bought a 3 liter jug of water at a gas station for like 3 dollars and we all shared it

one of my friends was cast as a detective in a play and during one scene he hid in a closet and came out to accuse someone of murder and it became a joke amongst the play members that his entire character arc was him falling in love with a fucking IKEA closet

the homecoming king and queen breaking up 1 month after getting the crowns and they have had a mutual spite for one another since

the king was my long time high school crush

me discovering that i had a thing for tall people and straight up exclaiming that i had a crush on this 6′4″ guy in the middle of play rehearsal

not high school for me but high school musical related: back when i was in like second grade, a girl that i have since grown to spite immediately came up to me with high school musical limited edition dolls and asked if i wanted to play because i was singing the french canadian version of “gotta go my own way” and i was just like “um,,,, sure i guess”

i was cast as the lead in my freshman year musical,,,, as a male character, so here i am, wearing an ugly ass wig with an itchy ass sweater to cover the fact that i have BOOBS and fake ass glasses with a fuckboy ass fedora hiding the natty fucking 78 year old wig singing an entire octave below my range

my fucking college credit English course,,,, our professor Kevin,,, nobody fucking liked him

in the same course, there was a kid named Steven from a different school and we all fucking IDOLIZED this boy

during a game of kahoot we all named ourselves different variants of Steven

i was Even Steven, there was Steven Eleven, Steven of the Corn, etc.

everyone but me was in contact with Steven outside of college English and i was SO SAD

literally we all said fuck Kevin aloud while our overseer was gone to print smth out and it was beautiful

we watched nacho libre in fucking physics class because our teacher was tired for an entire week

during a physics kahoot, one of the ppl in our class nicknamed themselves Shaft

#figured this would shed some light on how i became this fucked up mess of a human #i guess this would technically be a tribute to #high school story #hss

[tiracallout]

(submitter wants to remain anonymous)

Hey, i was never super close with tira but i was mutuals for a while and had a good amount of interaction with them, because my friends were pretty close to them. Thought i would share some of the creepy experiences i remember having while following (all of them being while i was a minor, 15 when i started following). This doesn’t have to be anonymous idc if they see it

First of all, I was never much of a fan of them. People who are overly possessive of kins, as well as people who are too passionate about mental illness headcanons (theyre insulting imo, people can have them but tira liked to shove it down your throat like it was fact) are always people that send up red flags for me. So i never got too invested in them, i mostly just got angry for the sake of other people (my fellow mostly-minor friends), and was play-nice. One of my friends even had to just leave their main account because they were that afraid of tira, couldn’t even confront them.

But on to some examples of things they did. I’ll save the best one for last so hold on tight. One time they were dmming me to stay away from specific people because they were abusive (probably the people posting on this blog lmao..kept saying ppl were stalking them and shit). Based on how the messages went, i think they made a post saying “dm me for my personal ill be on there from now on.” Something like that. But then they went on and on to tell me dont talk to these people, which is fucking manipulative, but i didn’t really care cause i dont go out of my way to talk to people anyway. Would probably never end up talking to them, so i just played along. I have screenshots of this, it was a pretty mild interaction tho ill post if anyone really wants them for followup. It was one of those things that just sent some creepy vibes, nothing wild.

I liked some character from a show once (THE CHARACTER IN THE ICON FOR THIS BLOG LMAO) and i would post screenshots while watching it and stuff and i got the SHIT subtweeted out of me let me tell u. I find that kind of stuff amusing though, so i didn’t stop until i eventually dropped the show because liking the same thing as people i don’t like makes me feel like i have cooties. And i was just told that one of my friends retweeted art of that same character and got yelled at by tira. Don’t know why they didn’t confront me for doing that. But they are so out of line ACTUALLY harassing people for liking a character. You always had to be on your toes around tira it was gross.

THIS ONE IS THE REASON THAT DROVE ME TO FINALLY SEPARATE MYSELF FROM TIRA, along with my entire friendgroup. At this time they were over 20 years old. One of my close friends (who was 14 AT THE TIME keep that in fucking mind) was harassed by tira via text. They were put in a position where they were forced to convince tira not to kill themselves. A kid should not have to deal with that from some adult that they barely know over the internet. Taking a 14 year olds cellphone number and texting them is a disgusting act itself when you’re over 20 fucking years old. But threatening to kill yourself on top of that. I’ll never be over that. That friend of mine doesn’t even come online anymore, partly due to this. Its so sad. I and other friends of mine called tira out for this and they completely ignored what we were saying, and skipped right to “IM BEING ABUSEDDDDDDD UR ALL ABUSIVE.” So, i called tira a disgusting human being (like they are), and unfollowed/blocked like all of my friends. It was seriously horrible. I advise minors to stay the fuck away from tira (along with everyone, but especially minors.)

I also mentioned that i wanted to share the best one for last. The one above was by far the worst thing that tira ever did that affected me personally. This one is just funny. Tira once posted a nude picture of themself (im not sure if it was on their main or their private account, either way i was a minor and i followed both) and for a caption they were talking about how they posted this nude picture to “punish” themself. I might’ve been a minor but it didn’t make me angry or anything, I thought it was fucking hilarious and to this day i still laugh about it. I can still see it in my head it was so ridiculous. BUT i know there were other minors also following whatever account that was, and it was probably so uncomfortable for them. And that fact pissed me off. Along with that, I’ve never really cared about nsfw content, but tira CONSTANTLY posted about sex. alllll the time. with no concern to who saw it. I know my close friends were extremely uncomfortable with this.

Thats all i’ve got. I’m not someone who likes to jump on the call out train, but when i was told this blog exists i figured i should share my experiences. I consider Tira an actual threat to people, especially kids.

#testimony