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#i got back ache rn
elegyofthemoon · 2 months
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well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost
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#avil plays hi3#tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This.#yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17#i. :(#the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :(#ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart#BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI#BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA#AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER#MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE#tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3.#kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but#now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because#'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS'#also idk i was thinking about it too#mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time#and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option#IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING)#sprawls on the ground#at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that#and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag#can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else)#idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people....#but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other#okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL#MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it#but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying
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favvnsongs · 1 year
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tbh if alpha had been the MoI's shipboard ai rather than filss, (and rather than alpha being like. under the radar and presumably only interacting with the director and counselor), imo he would have been Such an asshole. like can we talk about that. he's Such a little shit even before fragmenting and all the torture and winding up with the blood gulch squad but like, wholly Himself alpha with free range over the entire ship? absolute menace.
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pussypopstiel · 7 months
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Testing the new digs (changed username)
Pussypopstiel—> kuntblogger
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tojisun · 11 months
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Instantly thought of you
OH MY GOD BABE LOOK AT OUR MAN
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the-furies · 10 months
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girl. the . why can't i sleep.
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saetoru · 1 year
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i drive in heels ONCE. and my feet cramp all day after
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poptartmochi · 1 year
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my spine and I are going to be enemies in 4 years methinks 🫨
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onocleqs · 1 year
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can't fucking believe vent is still down. where else am i gonna yell about being ill
#anyway it is Day Two and. i feel better in some ways but worse in others#had the worlds most disrupted night of sleep and now i'm coughing a lot more than yesterday and it sucks#but my throat feels less sore for sure. feels like my body is fighting this thing off super hard 💪💪💪💪 shame about the full body aching#and overall lack of energy. ooouugghhh and the lost voice of course. but this always fucking happens#i'm gonna have to pass on games night tonight if i'm still coughing a lot and/or still missing my voice#but aaaauugghhh the love of my friends will surely heal me like nothing else. unless they make me laugh and send me into a coughing fit#rambling#my god yeah thats one of the worst parts of being ill. cant watch anything that makes me laugh. im fucking dying of boredom here#sure there's other stuff to watch but no funnies and no video games when that's all i want rn. havent watched any more flapjack in DAYS#it's nowhere near as bad as covid so this is entirely unnecessary but i am once again getting thr urge to document my symptoms#with a god damn spreadsheet. but it's not as complex at all so eh.#i can't say too much about how much better i'm feeling just yet tbh bc i'm still back in bed hfkdhgkdh i can walk sure#but i need to go downstairs and make breakfast soon which is the REAL first hurdle#also the question of am i ready for toast again or do i need to stick to porridge just to be safe#not gonna lie. i didn't love the noodles i had yesterday so i'm wondering if i'll have the appetite for something else#i want a sandwich so fucking bad but i don't want to eat dry bread at the same time. aaauuggghhh#my sibling offered me a hot chocolate last night and i had to turn that down bc chocolate plus cold for me is a big no#but aaauugghhh a nice warm drink probably would’ve been rlly nice#i return once again to announce that got damn! i feel notivesbly better than i didn an hour ago and my voice is like 30% back!#which means that by tonight i might very well be at a functional enough level to hang out with friends after all#i can always dip if my energy levels tank again or whatever but like honestly hanging out with them is like. i need that#the last two days havent been great and i miss them and we have a lot to talk about so yeah i will do everything in my power#to be there tonight. but i will not force myself or push myself too far. bc i am the king of self care 💪💪💪#god sorry back again but. it continues to fascinate me how any kind of illness affects me in the same ways consistently regardless of what#kind of illness it is??? right now i have whats mainly a cough which is honestly rare for me when i get ill#it's usually more in the nose department and sometimes the throat but rarely the chest#and yet 9 out of 10 times i lose my voice. i Always struggle with low energy (altho thats a problem outside of being ill too jfdjgdhfhd)#have a hard time falling or staying asleep and i get nauseous if i sleep laying down enough#but also i am the king of hard and fast aka i get like 24 terrible hours and then recovery is super quick. i'll be back to 100% health in#less than a week. my poor fucking step dad has been in stage one for a WEEK it's really awful. but i have the power of youth on my side 💪
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eepyjay · 2 years
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Time to complain
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flovverworks · 5 months
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five yrs in forgotten valley would help akira tremendously
#stardust speaking !#'with what' i dont know#the farming game love is simply intense rn my heart aches for pixels forming trees and cows and turnips#also cuz mollys scene where she returned from a wedding of a former 'coworker' T_T not feeling like she belonged in the city#them more or less laughing at her when she spoke about her current job#oh my no1 love.....#matthew who feels like he isnt getting better & is frustrated about it#that nami scene where she admits she did intend to leave but she got hungry and wanted lou's cooking so she forgot about that & went back#premhyk akira is very.....lost to me T_T very kind and gentle but very. going along w the flow?#thinks of those lines about how they now can look at ppl at vincent & gilbert properly#while in the past they wouldve looked away & avoided them#also the line i always mention but akira taking comfort in the convo about burnt bread and jam and olive oil#lumina who plays perfectly but thats the issue because she just plays the notes. she isnt plyng like shes having fun#lumina who felt like she should become like her mother but also knows thats not what romana wants at all#luminas line about how practice feels like watching paint dry LMAAOOO I ADOREEEE her shes so. silly. so great#idk if ive ever said it here but forgetmenot valley has always been my favorite town. probably nostalgia factor but#i plyd hmds a tremendous amount LOL said i wouldnt marry muffy since i Always went for her in awl#so i went thro flora lumina nami.....rly like flora still i think shes cute#i miss leia too#also i read some of the engagement scenes and i rlyyyy like matthews and namis................(i like celias 9heart event a lot too LOL#i think shes cute#i should watch them too but i dont wanna yet ill do it some other time#also the gordy scene where he visits ur farm GOD the mc is SO cute T_T?!?!? the way they play w their dog ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!#thinking about flowerworks too......although i might be flawed but arent we all......#every step you took toughened the world....#god i Have been thinking about flowerworks lately but i havent listened cuz just thinking about the lyrics makes me tear up LOLT_T#akira and their wizards......1.5..........
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ttsukiimi · 25 days
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DAMN, I NEED YOU RN!
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୨୧⋆ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ⎯ Being away from you has had its effects on them—and only being buried deep inside you can rid them of their neediness.
୨୧⋆ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 ⎯ pũssywhipped!gojo x reader, pũssywhipped!nanami x reader, pũssywhipped!toji x reader, pũssywhipped!choso x reader, smut (mdni), unprotected sx, oral (f receiving), kitchen sx, reader referred to as (baby, doll)
୨୧⋆ 𝐚/𝐧 ⎯ sigh, SIGH. *turns away and looks at the sunset*
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❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 𝗚. 𝗦
“Oh—fuck, baby,” Satoru groaned in your ear—practically rasped as his hips snapped repeatedly against your plump ass, his eyes taking in the sight of your tear stained eyes and face. “Almost forgot what it was like bein’ inside you,”
You whined into the sheets and your hands gripped the covers under you, holding onto anything that could structure you from the harsh and unrelenting rams of thick cock into your poor cunt. “So good, ‘Toru,”
His mission had been so grueling, so long—and that meant time away from you; time away from being able to fuck his princess. Which is why the sound of skin against skin was resonating so loud throughout your shared bedroom, the smell of lewd sex filling the air. And even then that wasn’t enough—he’d have to be inside you for the time he wasn’t.
❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 𝗡.𝗞
Now, Nanami Kento is a rational man. A man of order and formal authority. However, when it came to you, those unspoken rules were hurled out the window. When it came to you, thinking about you, missions seemed ten times as long. Knowing how your moans would bounce off the walls, yours legs wrapping around his waist, manicured nails scratching red lines down his back—oh, he barely managed to stop himself from cumming in his pants.
He waisted no time once he got home—bending you over the kitchen counter and stuffing himself into you. The feeling of your walls clamping down around him was like no other—and for the second time that day he halted the coming of his climax.
“Ken..you’re so needy today,” you mumbled, cheek squished against the marble counter Nanami pushed your head to. There was no response to your statement, only a low hum—one that guaranteed a long day of being stuffed to the brim.
❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 𝗧.𝗙
Was Toji a sex addict? You thought so—no, you knew so—you even had evidence to back that up; mornings where you woke up filled to the hilt, evening where a innocent cuddling session turned awry, nights where no sleep was had. But this, this was a new occurrence.
“Y’r takin’ it all soo well, doll,” Toji whistled, pushing in his head and instantly bottoming out, thumb rubbing at your clit. It hadn’t even been a minute since he arrived home from a task; you’d went to greet him at the door and before you knew it you were pushed against a nearby wall, being filled with cock.
His arms caged you in—forced you to take each ruthless thrust he was driving into you. It didn’t help that earlier you had been teasing him, sending him nudes while you knew he was at work. But Toji didn’t mind, he knew just the punishment for a brat like you.
❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 𝗖.𝗞
“Cho,” you mumbled, your fingers carding through his silky, black hair, pushing his head further, closer to your aching cunt. His tongue felt heavenly as it lapped up every bit of your essence, licking and sucking so curiously; like he needed more.
“You taste so good,”
Everything about him was different today. First he’d let his hair down, truly a sight to behold, then, with how touchy he was, you couldn’t deny his request to eat you out. How could you?
It was your duty to make him feel better after a long days work, and god knows you cannot say no to him. Especially now when he’s in between your legs, slurping your clit and eating you out as if his life depended on it.
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bitchdafuqyousay · 11 months
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#i feel like shit omg i was so sick the other day got a two day period of being fine n now im so awful#i’ve been out of bed for like 3-4hrs mx today n not all at once#most of it i’ve been asleep too idek what’s wrong like the other day it was throwing up general nausea n aches n whatnot#but today im in pain all over i can’t regulate my temperature for shit like im freezing in my room in bed under all my blankets but the#second i go anywhere else im dying of heat! like instant sweating dizziness n so hot i get pins n needles in my cheeks n extremities n my#breath gets short n it’s so fuckin hot i gotta retreat to my room after twenty min cause it’s fuckin painful but then im back up here n im#so cold n if im not lying down i get stupid dizzy n my balance is all off even just sitting down but standing is absolute ass like im like#too tall today? i feel too tall like standing up n my eye distance to the ground makes me feel lightheaded n i start pitching forwards like#the way you might when looking over a high balcony- the sort of vertigo that comes from height i’m getting from just feckin standing up in#my own goddamn body?? fuckin madness innit?? is this a blood pressure thing?? fucks going on i genuinely don’t know#n it all hurts n i’m in bed rn after having a shower n i felt better in the shower but i’m back out#told my dad sister n brother goodnight picked up my dog n went upstairs n like i had to put my baby down once i got to the room i couldn’t#make it with him to the bed he’s only 6lbs but my arms felt like they’d fall off n the tiny amount of body heat from him on my chest made me#get short of breath n feel way too overheated i’ve never had that happen before i’ve never had to put him on the floor n he walk over n hop#up himself n i had to take a seat i had to sit on the floor for a minute to collect myself#i closer the door n turned off the lights on my knees i was crawling about n had to drag myself up into bed cause i just was too tired to#get up n do it all normally genuinely wtf is happening
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eiightysixbaby · 1 month
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hi there! i'm OBSESSED with your eddie works and I had a lil request for u!
(if this is out of your comfort zone, I totally get btw, i'm just actually hormonal rn)
thinking about reader and eddie while she's ovulating and absolutely, positively feral... maybe they've only been together for a little while and they've fucked before, but he's never really seen that side of her... idk i'm just thinking a lot of thoughts rn
thanks! 💞
hi angel! thank you so much!!! 🥹🫶🏻 i hope i did your request justice 🩵
18+ only plssss. fem!reader, unprotected piv
The clock ticks obnoxiously where it hangs on the wall, marking each passing second that won’t pass fast enough.
It’s not unusual for a shift at the library to go slowly, but today time feels like it’s trudging through thick molasses; barely crawling by. Or maybe it’s just going backwards at this point, who knows.
You chew at the cap of your pen, reading the same sentence of the novel in front of you over and over yet not fully comprehending it. Trying to ignore the desperate ache between your thighs, the heat that pools in the pit of your stomach. It had been a relentless desire for the last couple of hours, a hunger that couldn’t be sated just yet.
But the promise of seeing your boyfriend after work had you chewing-through-your-leash desperate for your shift to end. You know Eddie had a nice dinner planned for the two of you tonight, but all you can think about is how badly you need his hands on you. It makes you feel bad, but you can’t rid yourself of thoughts of his lips on your neck, his fingers splitting you open, your hips grinding against him. This always happens when you’re ovulating, only this time… you’re not hiding it.
The last couple of times, you’d made do with your vibrator at home; embarrassed to let Eddie see this side of you. Your relationship was still quite new, and you weren’t sure if ripping his clothes off any chance you got would scare him away or not. This time, though? You can’t hold back any longer.
The end of your shift arrives at long last, and you practically fling yourself from your receptionist chair. You gather your belongings with haste, throwing everything into your shoulder bag before hightailing it out the door. Your keys jangle as you fumble with them, searching for the correct one to unlock your car. Eddie will be expecting you, although maybe not expecting you in the state that you’re in.
It doesn’t take long to get to the trailer park, your thighs pressing together in an attempt to provide even the smallest amount of friction as you drive along familiar roads. Your car is barely in park before you’re killing the engine, ascending the few steps to his trailer door and swinging it open without a knock to alert anyone inside. Wayne isn’t home anyway, so really what do you need to knock for?
Eddie’s frame appears in his bedroom doorway down the small hallway, his face brightening at the sight of you. You feel like you’re sweating just looking at him, your clothes suddenly too tight as the space between your thighs vibrates with need.
“Hey, baby. I didn’t expect you so soon, did you fly over here?” Eddie asks, a lighthearted joke, but he’s not far from the truth.
You don’t even answer him, slipping off your shoes before you’re trodding down the hallway, throwing your arms around his neck when you reach him.
“Baby, what’s—” he starts to speak, only for you to cut him off with a hot kiss to his lips. His voice dies against your mouth, fizzling into a soft whimper as you tug his bottom lip between your teeth.
“Missed you so bad,” you murmur. Your nervousness over how he’d react is tossed out the window, unwilling to wait any longer. “And I’ve been wanting you all fucking day,” you ramble, kissing him between words. “I need you,” you plead, letting a hand fumble with his belt buckle.
He makes a sound that’s halfway between a gasp and a laugh, kissing you before speaking. “Do you not want to go to dinner?” he asks, tilting his head slightly to the side.
“I do,” you admit with a pout. “But I need you right now.” Your hands are on a mission, palming him urgently through denim as if he might disappear any second, never to be touchable again.
The corner of his mouth twitches up in a soft smirk, his thumbs rubbing over your hipbones where his hands hold them.
“I’ve never seen you this needy, sweetheart,” he teases you, brushing his lips across the shell of your ear before he bites at the lobe. “But I like it.”
You whine at this, the slightest touch, and he breathes a quiet laugh.
“Please, Eddie, don’t tease,” you beg as he noses your chin up, kissing at your neck.
He doesn’t listen, taking his time trailing kisses down your soft skin and letting his hands wander but never close enough to where you need him. You can feel yourself dripping, making a mess of your panties. His big hands squeeze your ass, taking greedy handfuls. You let out a moan, louder than you’d intended, earning the nip of his teeth against your skin. Taunting.
You’re riled up, frustrated beyond belief, huffing where you stand before you decide you’ve had enough.
You press your hands to his chest, pushing him off of you. He’s surprised by the action, giving you the opportunity to grab the collar of his shirt, pulling him over to his bed and letting him fall onto the mattress. He sits on the edge of it, looking up at you equal parts dumbfounded and turned on. Your hands hurriedly undo the hefty buckle on his belt, unzipping his jeans as you start to straddle his lap. His cock is throbbing, leaking as it lays in waiting in your hand once you retrieve it from its confines.
“Told you not to tease,” you say. His big brown eyes roam over your face, his pretty lips parted just slightly in a state of awe. “I need you to fuck me. Now.”
“Yes ma’am,” he obeys, but it’s less him doing the work and more you taking control.
You ruck your skirt up, pushing the fabric of your panties to the side and lining yourself up with his cock, sliding slowly down onto the length of him. Your name escapes his lips as his leaves yours, already starting to rock your hips against his.
He holds you firmly in place on his lap, guiding your movements to the best of his ability. The stretch he provides you with is delicious, exactly what you’d been craving, the entirety of him filling you up perfectly.
“You’re so fucking soaked, baby,” he remarks, bringing one hand up to briefly run through his messy curls, his cheeks already flushed pink. “Feel bad you had to wait so long for me while you’ve been this worked up.”
He’s teasing you, kind of. Pitying you in a way that only makes you ache further. You bounce faster on him, steadying yourself with your hands on his shoulders. He’s cursing under his breath as you’re fucking yourself on his length, riding him with a fervor and determination he hasn’t seen from you yet. He finds it hotter than he’d have ever expected, seeing you in such a state, and it’s taking everything he has not to finish early.
Lucky for him you aren’t far behind, desperate to cum after waiting all day. He lets one of his thumbs lazily circle your clit, sensing your desire to let go in the way your brows furrow in concentration.
Strings of moans tumble from your mouth, curse after curse of his name as you quicken your pace. Your head tips back, pure ecstasy coursing through you as you take what you want from him unashamedly. The rough pad of his finger on your clit makes you feel like you’re on fire, ablaze beneath his touch. His hips buck to meet your bounces, the tip of his cock pressing over and over against your sweet spot.
“Eddie—” you gasp, just as you fall apart on top of him. Your walls grip him like a vice, making him bite down on his lip.
He works you through your high, pulling out when he can’t possibly hold off his orgasm any longer. He pumps his cock in his fist a few times before he spills against your skin, cum dripping down your pussy.
Both panting, sweaty messes, you meet each other’s eyes and laugh.
“Feel better now, sweets?” he asks, lips pressing against yours in a heated kiss.
You break away momentarily, cradling his face in your hands. “You have no idea.”
He smiles. “Well, for what it’s worth, you have permission to use me whenever you need me.”
“Thank god,” you sigh, smiling against his cheek. “Cause I don’t think I’m done for the night.”
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taintedcigs · 4 months
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i slept with someone from corroded coffin and all i got was this stupid song written about me.
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ROCKSTAR!FBOY!EDDIE X READER
summary: fooling around with a famous rockstar who's a notorious playboy sounds perfect on paper, until you catch feelings for him. that's why you decide to end things, to not get your feelings get hurt, and its all going perfectly, until eddie releases a song, written all about you.
warnings: smut, p in v, MINORS DNI!!!!, pet names, praising?, lovey dovey, kinda angst and arguments, drgs & alcohol mention, swearing? idk this is kinda cheesy n cute with a mix of fluff sprinkled honestly!
author's note: the indented parts are texts between steve and reader and thenn reader and eddie. they look confusing as fuck im sorry i just wanted to make them look unique but they look stupid. also yes. i patted myself in the back after i found this title (thank you fob). and yes the lyrics are inspired by i don't care im on a fob kick sue me! and ofc fboy!eddie isn't actually that much of a fboy bc if i can't write lovesick eddie ill die. this is super cheesy so i still struggled a lot but UGH. not proof-read ignore all mistakes
also credits to @dumplingsjinson for the prompts! (i changed them but still!) and @saradika for the dividers! pls like + rb + interact w me in anyway to support my writings!! ty!!
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DINGUS sent you a spotify link. did you listen to this? yeah. its kinda romantic. no. the lyrics are insane. n all about u okay? are u at the party rn? yeah. u comin? soon he’s there too u already knew that, didn’t u?  false accusations r rude, steve.
You click your phone off with a groan, but he was right. You couldn’t stay away from him, and maybe, just maybe, this was your way of running into him, accidentally. 
Because ever since he released the song, the tabloids had gone crazy with it, half of the lyrics screamed you and all of the old headlines pointed at you, the mystery girl Eddie used to be seen with, and you really were growing tired of seeing your name next to “Munson’s new girl.” 
Because you weren’t his new girl, you weren’t his anything. He was a cocky asshole who was good with a guitar and was even better at fucking. And that was something both of you could relate to, the only thing you had in common with him. Or, so you thought. 
But of course, as with everything else, the things between you changed, you started staying over, he started staying over, and the two of you even went on fucking dates, disguising them under ‘we were just hungry, is all.’ 
You tried to keep up the cool girl act, like you could fuck someone and not catch feelings. Every inch of you itched not to care, to act like it was all fine, but it was all fucking bullshit, you cared, so fucking much that your chest ached. The more you got to know him, the more you fell for him, and the more you fell for him, the more you realized there was no fucking way this would work. 
Cocky rockstar who spent more time doing drugs than sleeping, with girls all over him? The imaginary red flag bells rang in your ear, even now. He wasn’t looking for a relationship and you knew that. That’s why you ended it two months ago. Or at least, you started ignoring him two months ago. 
Yet, he had been calling and texting you, wanting to meet up, drunken slurs of nonsense, gibberish voicemails, and yet you never answered, because if you did, you knew you’d be back to pathetically swooning over him.
Until today, just because of that stupid song, like it meant anything. That douchebag probably wrote songs about every girl he fucked. 
You weren’t special. 
Another ding sound from your phone almost startled you, the contact name made you groan even louder. “don’t FUCKING answer.” That didn’t mean shit. It was just something stupid to make you feel better that you couldn’t stay away from him, because you knew, deep down that if you really didn’t want him to contact you, you would’ve deleted his number, and blocked him. You were too chicken shit to do that, and still desperately wanted to hear from him. 
So you settled on that contact name. Like it made a difference, like it changed anything. 
DONT FUCKING ANSWER did you listen to the song?
Don’t fucking answer. The contact name should be enough to convince yourself that.
Too late.
                                                                   no. don’t lie to me, sweetheart.                                                                            why would i lie?
You sink into the couch, a much quieter corner of the party, not even bothering to socialize. Your brows furrow, index finger flying to your lips anxiously, as you chew on it to patiently wait for an answer.
You sip on your drink with a nervous gaze on your screen, barely noticing the way the couch sink further when someone else took a seat next to you. 
“Hi.” The gravelly voice pulls your attention away from the screen, making you set your drink aside as you look up, finding yourself face-to-face with him. 
Shaggy bangs cascade onto his forehead, and with your exaggeration, it looks longer than the last time you saw him. Black jeans cladded with chains. A graphic tee messily thrown over his heavily tatted chest, that you could still imagine right about now—pathetic. He looked just about the same, the deep dimple adorning his soft cheeks had seemed to disappear, wearing a scowl instead, that tiny voice in your head told you that was your doing, that maybe he was just as miserable as you. Maybe your feelings weren’t fully one-sided.  
Shit. 
“Eddie?” Squeaky, and annoying, you were sure that’s how your tone sounded, yet he didn’t seem to comment on it.
“‘m glad you remember my name, sweetheart,” he scoffs sarcastically, leaning further into the plush couch, elbow propped at the side, eyeing you with frustration. 
“W—what the hell are you doing here?” You stutter as if you weren’t expecting to run into him. Full of bullshit. 
“Did ya really think you could ignore me forever, huh?” He tilts his head slightly, almost expectedly, earning an eye roll from you. 
“I wasn’t ignoring yo—”
Eddie tuts quickly, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that cuts through the ambient noise of the party, “I thought we said no more lies, huh?” 
With a huff, “Why are you here, Eddie?” you mumble.
“Am I not allowed to party?” He banters, brows slightly raised, making you huff out an exasperated breath, your eyes bore into him, almost to signal him ‘Take this seriously.’
“I wanted to know what you thought.” He shrugs like it was normal to just come running after everything just to know what you thought of the song. 
“The song?” He nods in confirmation.
“Didn’t like it,” you confess, avoiding his gaze, but your brows betray you, lifting ever so slightly.
He tsks, shutting you off quickly, “You see that little quirk your brow did? That only happens when you lie, you can’t help it. You do that when I ask you if you ate the last pizza slice, or when I ask if you watched the next episode of the show we were supposed to watch together, or when you—” 
“Fine, fine! I liked it,” you groan, interrupting him and suddenly standing up from the comfort of the couch, being so face-to-face with him immediately making your nerves bubble.
“Just liked?” He tilts his head slightly, a smirk curving on his lips. 
A deep sigh of breath, “what do you want, Munson?”
He stands up with you, making you back away from him with a heavy footstep, the entire party was too loud and crowded, yet, in this stupid corner, it was just the two of you. “For you to admit that you loooved the song, and how much you missed me,” he sing-songs, taking a step closer to you, musky smell invading your senses, making you take a deep breath.
Both of you stand near the wall, and it should be awkward, it should be enough to make you leave, but all it does is draw you closer to him.
“You’re annoying.” 
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t avoiding—” He tuts, with his stupid index finger up, rejecting your lie.
“I—I don’t know what you expected.” You shrug, so nonchalantly that his gaze narrows, chest aching with the implications of your words.
“We both knew this wouldn’t last forever, didn’t we?” You chew the inside of your lip to stop those tears that had been begging to flow ever since you listened to the song, wiping off that smirk on Eddie’s lips. 
“Would’ve been nice if I got a reminder, and not have been just fully ghosted, huh?” The brunette grumbles with a downturn of his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. 
“Oh, don’t act all high and mighty, isn’t that what you do all the fucking time?” you snap, gaze narrowed, and arms crossed against your chest. 
“Fuck girls and then leave them? Did it crush your ego this fucking much that I did before you could?” 
“What the fuck does that mean?” He retaliates. 
“It means I was smart enough to pull myself away from your bullshit,” you rasp, disdain written all over your face.The room seems to shrink as the distance between you decreases. 
Another step closer to you, and you didn’t realize your back had hit the wall now. “My bullshit? God, that’s fucking rich, if I seem to recall correctly sweetheart, you were in this as much as I fucking was!”
“Oh, was I?” You bark out a chuckle, cruel, mocking, “I don’t remember being okay with you fucking half the city.” Realization of how bitter and jealous that sounds, dawns on you much later than the words leave your lips, and thankfully, Eddie’s too fucking immersed to realize the double meaning of your words. 
“Are you fucking kidding? No strings attached! Non-exclusive! That’s what you fuckin’ signed up for!” His voice echoes, mirroring his frustration, and you open your mouth.
But he doesn’t let you speak further, cutting you off sharply. “Is this all because of that new guy you’re seein’?” 
“What? What guy?” 
“The one who was all over you earlier,” he bites out, jaw clenched, and you can almost taste his bitterness in the air.  
“The same one you fucked at Jeff’s party.”
“Are you stalking me, Munson?” 
“Did you just want an excuse to end things? Are the two of you serious or somethin’?” His voice wavered between anger and desperation, gaze pathetically searching for yours, to gauge your reaction.
You scoff. Did he really think you’d end things because of a stupid fling you had which in the first place occurred just so you could forget him? He was so goddamn clueless it drove you insane. 
But what you didn’t realize was that you were just as clueless, if not more, because why would he write a song all about you, if this was just about sex? Because who would get so jealous of someone they didn’t care about? 
Say my name and his in the same breath.
I dare you to say they taste the same. 
The lyrics from his stupid song swirled your thoughts, yet you were still too stupid to see it, weren’t you?
Another step closer to you, a dangerous game the two of you liked to play. He smelled alluring, a fucked up mix of nicotine, his musky cologne, and that damn leather jacket. “Do you really think, he could compare to me, sweetheart?” 
Say my name and his in the same breath.
“Tell me he’s fucking better, and he’s actually what you want, and I’ll fucking leave, I’ll bury all the other songs I wrote, tell me, and I’ll be out of your hair forever.”
I dare you to say they taste the same. 
And just like that, all the defenses you put up, all the times you ignored him, they are cracked, disappearing into thin air. You hate it, you hate that he has this effect on you, you can feel your mind getting hazier, eyes blinking rapidly to process what the fuck is going on, and his face is mere inches away from yours. You knew their names didn’t taste the same. And you knew he could never ever compare to Eddie.
“Tell me,” he encourages, dares you to. You fail to notice how much emotion his gaze carries, how the corners of his lips twitch, just at the thought of you finally admitting you don’t want him. His stomach turns at the thought, this is his last chance, he knows that, and he can’t fucking lose you. He can’t. 
And you don’t know any of that, but you knew, know that no one else could compare to him. And you hate yourself for thinking that, you hate yourself for falling for him, the world stops rotating on its axis when he’s in your peripheral vision, and it’s fucking disgusting. Pathetic. Stupid. Because you know the two of you have no chance. But here you are. 
“H—he is b—” Of course, your brow quirks up almost immediately, betraying you quicker than you can even attempt to lie. 
That dawning smirk appears on his lips again, it’s mocking, and just as much smug. You want to wipe it off of his stupidly pretty face. “Tell me,” he dares you, again. This time much cockier and confident, and you suddenly realize how small you feel under him.
“He isn’t,” your meek voice is barely audible.
And you don’t register the shaky breath he draws when the words leave your lips, giving him the confirmation he needs. You wanted him, he had no fucking clue why you ghosted him, yet you still wanted him. Just as much as he wanted you. 
Both of his hands were placed on the wall now, towering over you, making your breath get caught up in your throat. “Speak up.”
“No, fuck! You know he’s not, you know he could never fucking compare to you, you fucking know tha—” He shuts you up with a rough kiss, lips pressed against yours messily, letting the petty comments die down your throat. Because this is all he wanted, needed to hear anyway. 
“Up,” he grunts into the kiss, tapping your thighs, hoisting you up from your waist to help you wrap your legs around him, tight, he wants you at his mercy, locked to him. 
You wrap your legs around him, barely, the melty sensation in your knees making you so shaky that he barks out a laugh into your lips, holding you close, firm, the butterflies in your stomach traveling all across your body.
He lifts you up as if you are weightless, arms wrapped around you strongly as he carries you to the nearest empty bedroom, impressively without hitting your back anywhere, so roughly that your core throbs at the feeling of his arms around you.
“Baby,” he mutters as he lowers you down on the bed swiftly, smooth, gaze darkened and pupils blown wide, all the pent up desire waiting to explode. 
“Eddie,” you beg, shaky voice sounding purely angelic to his ears once he got rid of his shirt, shrugging it off with a huff, his fingertips grazing against your top, feeling your hardened nipples, causing gasps out of you, he’s quick to pull it over your head while you run your fingers up the grooves of his stomach, the tip of your fingertips almost burns everywhere you touch. 
He groans at the sight of your bare breasts, “missed thi-you,” he corrects himself, because that’s all he wanted anyways, you. 
He nips at your nipples, tongue good at giving attention to both of them, all wet and warm, making you squirm under his touch, you’re quick to get rid of everything else, leaving you in your panties, making him grunt. 
The pad of his thumb rubs against your left nipple, leaving goosebumps in its wake, while his other hand travels down your chest, then your stomach, finally drawing circles when it stops between your thighs, ghosting over your panties before he tugs them down your legs, spreading them apart with a slight hum, pupils blown so wide that you can’t admire those chocolate hues anymore. 
He visually drinks in that sight of you, laid down on the couch, eyes squeezed shut, back arched, and he hasn’t even touched you yet. You’re completely at his mercy and his chest aches with need. “So pretty like this f’me,” he coos into your chest, pushing his middle finger inside of you. Making you feel so good that you can’t stop the gasps coming out of your lips.   
Pleasure shivers through everywhere he sucks and touches, his finger eases into you when he adds another one, a moan escaping you quickly. “Need to be in here, sweetheart, d’ya have any idea how much I missed this?” 
You don’t. You don’t know about the sleepless nights, the drunken ones, the drug-induced ones in an attempt to recreate the high you gave him. It’s fucked up, it’s insanely toxic. Yet, he can’t get enough of you. 
His gaze upon you is dangerous, maybe it’s because he had missed you so goddamn much, or maybe because he didn’t know where this would lead, but it felt fucking sentimental, different somehow, and he could feel you, everywhere on his skin.
Your hips start rocking up against him when the pad of his thumb flicks over your clit, making you arch your back, whines, mumbles leaving your lips. And all he can muster is, “so goddamn beautiful, look at you whining for me.”
You can feel his bulge rub against your thigh every now and then, it’s distracting, almost agonizing. You desperately need it inside of you, you had missed him, missed his touch, missed the feeling of him filling you to the brim, you missed seeing his face contort in pleasure when he was inside of you, you wanted him to never forget you again. 
That’s why you feel so numb, can barely speak, and of course, Eddie notices, how unusually quiet you are, and he wants to make this unforgettable, just so you have another reason to come back to him. Just so you don’t leave him, just so you stay forever. 
“Gone too quiet on me, honey, tell me what you need,” he coos down at you, thumb still caressing your pussy, and all you can fucking do is chew down on your bottom lips, eyeing his bulge that was begging to get out. And he barks out a goddamn chuckle, “P—please, Eddie.” Pathetically leaves your lips. 
And normally he would make you beg, tease further, but he reaches to tug down his pants quickly, because fuck, he had missed you. And he can’t bear the thought of not being inside of you any longer. 
Thinking is not your strongest suit right now either, your brain is mushy, all the nights and days spent thinking about him, about this explodes into your body. Your pussy aches when you finally see his cock again, a sound of need leaving your lips as you eye his length, so big that pleasure ripples through you, especially when you see his gushy tip, glistening with pre-cum. 
You want every fucking inch inside of you, and Eddie’s more than ready to oblige, “What do you need, baby? Tell me.”
“Need you, Eddie,” you moan, all fucked out, his fingers slip in and out of you still, but it isn’t enough for him. He needs more, he craves your validation like he never has before. 
“God, you’re soakin’ my fingers, princess,” he grunts, wedging himself between your thighs, weeping cock drips onto your inner thighs, making you moan breathlessly. “Tell me exactly what you fuckin’ want, honey.”
“Eddie.” His name sounds like silk, even when it’s so lewd, Eddie decides, and it makes him let out an impatient huff. “P—please. Need you to fuck me.” It’s so goddamn desperate that you can feel heat rise to your cheeks, but it’s everything to him.
“Want you to fuck me like you mean it.”
“Oh, that’s easy, sweetheart,” he grunts, lining his cock through your entrance, coating himself in your slick, enjoying your mewls before he doesn’t hesitate to push his cock inside of you, inch by inch, relishing the way you cry out for him. 
Greedily, you rock your hips into him, making him let out a frustrated groan. “Have no fuckin’ idea how much I missed this greedy cunt, sweetheart, shit.” He thrusts in a few more inches, and breathless moans and babbles of his name fill the air.
“Suckin’ me right in, baby, fuck, you’re so pretty like this, mhmm.” His cock moves inside of you, and your hands are wrapped around his back, desperately clawing at it, the fullness making you want more, “you like that, baby, like bein’ full of me?” A heavy sound leaves his lips, pathetic and you pulse around him. 
“S’so good Eddie, and s’big,” you barely manage to let out, and he watches you with that burning amber gaze, thrusting all the way in without hesitation. Those plushy lips that hang open, that filthy mouth, the prettiest fucking features—you, were going to be the death of him. 
Maybe it’s because you had missed him, or maybe because you hadn’t experienced this in a long time, or fuck, maybe, just maybe that the song had created a new type of need between the two of you. Using sex as a sort of connection that the both of you desperately needed. But, shit, was it this different this time. 
He felt different—his lips, touch, skin as it slapped against yours, it was different. 
Full. You feel so fucking full that your back involuntarily arches against him, fingers clenching desperately, your screams and cries filling the room the more he plunges inside of you, deeper, hungry, and just as greedy as you. 
“Yeah, better than that asshole?” It rolls off his lips so bitter and jealous that you can barely register it. Not being used to this possessive side of him, and it’s glorious, especially when he’s pounding his frustrations and insecurities into you. 
“Mhmm, so much better.” You clawed at his back, every thrust of his hip making you feel higher and higher, mind filled with nothing but him. 
“So pretty like this when you say my name, sweetheart… so goddamn beautiful, and all mine, yea?” He wants a confirmation, and wants to hear you say it, his head ducking between your breasts again to kiss, taste, suckle them. Make sure he never forgets it. 
“Wanna hear you say it.” He hums, the vibrations reverberating through your chest straight into your core, cock plowed so deep inside of you that you can barely speak through your cries, hitting that sweet spot that every other asshole misses. 
You’re too scared to give him what he wants. But you feel him, everywhere, and you still want more, of course, you’re his. That’s all you fucking wanted anyway. Plushy lips shake as you gaze up at him, his amber hues are so sticky-sweet that you still struggle to process it, words come out in a ramble “All yours, Eddie.”
His mouth crashes onto yours roughly, desire coursing through both of your bodies, almost interconnected. “Shit, fuckin’ hell sweetheart, ‘m not gonna last long.” His thrusts are getting sloppier, yet you feel the ravaging desire coursing through your veins. 
“So perfect,” he murmurs, the kiss he lays on your lips just as relentless, not letting you breathe or think for a goddamn second, you’re so goddamn close.
And you wonder, how the fuck did you even go two months without this? Without him?
“Eddie!” You cry out once you feel the pad of his thumb rubbing against your clit, eyes squeezed shut as your orgasm washes over you. Pure bliss overtakes you while you claw at his back, his body tenses, and cock flexes as he cums inside of you, groans and curses left in your hair. 
Minutes pass of you lying next to each other, breathless, processing everything that just transpired. And you should feel guilty, embarrassed, and should run to the hills for doing this with him again. 
But you’re obsessed, addicted. He’s like an excitement that you’re sure you’ve never felt before, running through your veins, like a fucking drug. 
Both of you get dressed in silence, the party booming outside is quick to bring the two of you back to reality, and out of the trance that he pulled you in. 
He breaks your bewilderment with a slight “Fuck.” Standing on the opposite side of the bed before he fully turns to you. “This wasn’t—I was supposed to talk to you.” He mutters, fingertips anxiously running through his tousled hair.
Caught off guard and awfully curious, you mumble, “About what?”
“The song…”
“I told you I liked it.”
His brow furrows deeper, and he shakes his head in frustration. “No, that’s not it—uh, did you not listen to the lyrics?”
“I did.”
“And?”
Your face searches his for some clarity, you take a step closer to him, the distance between the two of you was still awfully much according to him. “What are you asking of me, Eddie? Did you really think one song would just solve everything?”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“W—what am I supposed to get Eddie? You wanna have your cake and eat it too! And I just can’t fucking do that, not anymore.”
“That’s—that’s not it!” His voice wavers, with urgency, and desperation in his tone. He takes a step forward, attempting to bridge the emotional gap, feeling so fucking frustrated that he wants to rip his hair out.
“Then fucking explain it to me!” You plead. 
“You want an explanation, fine! Fucking fine!” His frustration echoed through the room, pacing back and forth, making you take a deep breath. 
Was he… actually gonna do this? 
“You wanna know what the fuck I’ve been doing ever since you ghosted me?” He ran a hand through his hair, scared, gaze all mellow and vulnerable in a way you have never seen before. It makes your shoulders slump when you nod. 
“I go to those stupid Hollywood parties, meet asshole rockstars—the most interesting shit, yet somehow someway the thought of you will pop up in my mind, uncalled for, might I add, and then I can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop thinking about you the whole fucking day.” Your eyes widen, trying to absorb his revelation, yet he won’t stop rambling and you feel your chest tighten with each word, fuck, he’s finally doing it.
“I—I never—shit! I never thought myself capable of feeling things like this, but fuck, you came along, with that goddamn smile, throwing a manicured middle finger right in my face, a—and just put up with my bullshit.” His voice softened, and he couldn’t help but trace the contours of your face, to desperately know if you were on the same boat, and you look at him with such glistened eyes that his heart leaps to his stomach. 
“My world flipped upside down, and you have proven me, so goddamn wrong that I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore!” The tears almost welled in your eyes, because, fuck, there was no way this was real.  
You reached out instinctively, the corner of your mouth twitching uncontrollably. “E—Eddie, please… please stop saying things you don’t fucking mean.” 
“Things I don’t mean?” He gives you a breathy chuckle, ironic, and nowhere near funny. His eyes bore into yours, intense and searching. “Do you think I like feeling whatever the hell this is? I fucking don’t, you have me acting like someone I’m so unfamiliar with, to the point where it scares me. All I can think about is you, you, you, because you occupy every single space of my mind.” Your eyes soften, the room seemingly pulsing with his emotions, making you feel hot everywhere on your body. 
He felt the same way.
Eddie felt the same way. 
“B—but fuck I’m scared, honey, I’m so goddamn scared,” He admits, the vulnerability in his voice cutting through the tension before he’s at your side, calloused hands grabbing you by the shoulder, so softly that you melt into him.
“Because what if—what if all of this comes crashing down one day?” His voice trembles, gaze avoiding yours, he was scared, so goddamn scared of losing you. Forever. He doesn’t want that, he couldn’t afford that. 
“Just two months away from you fucking sucked. I didn’t—I don’t wanna feel these things, but you make it so hard not to.”  His forehead rests against yours, making you suck in a deep breath, it’s all so fucking sentimental, and all you wanna do this kiss him, tell him you feel the exact same way. Tell him about your fears. 
“And now I can’t fucking stop, fuck,” He confesses, admission punctuated by a frustrated sigh. 
“I wrote you a song,” he gently caresses your cheek, and you’re so scared to look up at him, to meet his tender gaze, because you know you can’t hold yourself back. 
“I came over to this party in a frenzy when I found out you’d be here,” he continued, his fingers tracing a delicate pattern along your jawline. “I—I just I haven’t even been able to touch another girl.” Your eyes snap open, you’re sure they’re almost heart-shaped now, with the adoration you look at him.
“And, do you actually fucking think I'd write songs for just anyone—” His question lingers in the air before you shut him up with a kiss, rough, sweet, and making Eddie feel dizzy all over, his head struggles to comprehend it all, breathless but he manages to react just in time.
The booming music becoming a mere background noise when he had you, mind swirling with all the possibilities and mouth begging to never stop tasting you. He wants to let you completely engulf him, feel you everywhere.
Everything he wanted and more.
He fucking hates himself for doing this, but he pulls away, mesmerized, eyes so wide that you can’t believe this is Eddie, he’s all flustered, salmon pink. And it makes a wider grin sit on your lips. “So… you—uh, what does this mean?”
You smile at him, lips widely stretching into a grin, as you shrug. “It means I feel the same, Eddie.” you admit, tone a tender reassurance. “That’s why I tried to shut you out… to try to move on, because I was scared—fuck, but I feel the same way.”
“So, does that mean we're dating now?”
“We can take things slow, figure everything out?” you mutter with a shy gaze, lips itching to twitch into a smile, again. “But I—uh—I like you, I really, really like you.”
“Gone soft on me already, sweetheart?” he mumbles with a stupid grin, making you elbow him softly, with an exaggerated playful huff. 
He’s quick to flinch, rubbing his arm as if you even delivered a powerful blow. “Ow—what the hell is wrong with you?”
“You think I’m going soft? You’re the one who wrote his feelings as an exaggerated love song!” 
He leans further slightly, his grin widening when you gave him those adorable eyes, finding you both equally amusing and endearing. “Oh… just you wait.”
You arched a brow, curiosity piqued, “What the hell does that mean?”
“The album is coming out soon, sweetheart. If you think this was an exaggeration, you should hear the whole fucking thing.”
That glint re-appears in your eyes just as quickly, gaze softening as you melt into his embrace.
“You’re an idiot, Eddie Munson.” You tease, scrunching your nose at him, so adorably that he leans down and presses a gentle kiss onto your hair.
He's an idiot, a total complete fucking idiot, but he's all yours.
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astrxealis · 2 years
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i love elidibus so much it is unreal
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think i've mentioned before but out of all character i like. even raha. he is the one who genuinely rots my brain#even if i like raha more! elidibus is the one who. really really really just. destroys my thinking capacity. rots my brain#he gives me so much brainrots and i cease to think properly. you see i've even already said the same thing three times now lmfao#i love him so much! he makes me so sad. it is. a nostalgic sentimental bittersweet feeling. and all so hollow#raha got me back into writing but it is elidibus who brought me back to poetry! he. makes my heart ache so much#i think 6.2 was just filled with... so much tbh. like zero. idk man. 6.2 storytelling reminds me of a... idk ??#but it was so mystical and zero's theme feels so. yeah. i just love that patch so much and PANDAEMONIUM.#i love eden with all my heart and ryne/gaia mean the world to me but pandaemonium raids i love so much but in a different way#it makes me want to cry but it doesn't make me emotional per say? it makes me. lament the future of. yeah. the future#and idk that whole 6.2 patch was so mystically gorgeous to me... brings out the poet in me and gives me brainrots#anyways yeah back to elidibus#dear gods. i already said this b4 but he is the ascian i assigned as my fave ever since arr! he was so boring back then but yeah#the way they did his character is so good tbh ... they way they built on the 'simplicity' of his character. and made him into so much more#i love emet but i really do prefer... say. fandaniel/zenos/elidibus a lot more to him ?? i could explain but idk how to rn#mostly personal preference tbh! but there is just something different about them to me that really speaks out to me#elidibus shgbdhghjb ... he makes me so sad but i can't explain nor comprehend it. it's almost like it is just there#like a ghost of a feeling? like. i can carry on my life forever like this but it will always feel like something is There#agh. it is almost half to 3 am so i should go to sleep soon bcs i need to wake in the morning and not the afternoon!#hm... m a bit stressed over stuff but i'll do what i need to do asap <3#brainrots for elidibus come and go nowadays compared to a few months ago (wow. it has already been months)#but i will always love him so much. and i am deathly afraid for the story of the third tier of pandaemonium </3#will definitely need to get back into raiding then hehehe ... i need to do p12s part 2 <3
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luveline · 5 months
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You are so talented I can’t even fathom it Jade! I seriously don’t know how you do it.
Idk if you’re taking requests rn for Spencer still bc I know you write him a lot but I love shy reader and post prison Spencer it’s so cute. I would love to see their relationship growing, maybe her realizing the feelings aren’t one sided by little things he says or does for her or how he reacts if she gets hurt.
No worries if not! Anything you write is a gift honestly. Happy New Year!
thank you sm angel, you're too kind<3 hny! ♡ fem!reader, 1.2k
cw violence and injury
You'll be fine, Spencer had said, patting you on the shoulder. Just trust me. 
This is decidedly not fine. 
You crouch low behind a raspberry chaise turned blood red in the poor lighting. When you entered the building moments ago, it was light. But now the lights are out and you can't tell your friend from foe; footsteps to your left could be Spencer where he'd followed you in, or they could be the UnSub. 
I'm right behind you, he'd said with a borderline rogue smile. You think I'd let you get hurt? 
Breath warms your ear. “Boo.” 
The air gets stuck in your lungs as brutish arms grab you. Your gun points toward your own jaw and your pulse hammers so hard you freeze, a split second, the amygdala overwhelmed. Then the UnSub tries to grab your weapon, and everything you've been taught kicks in. You twist in his arms, throwing your head back out of the line of fire as multiple agents call to you to sound off, and kicking hard at the UnSub's legs, the subsequent soft spot between them. 
You fall hard onto the floor, screaming as a weight lands on top of you.
Spencer shouts your name. “Where are you?!”
A hard palm hits you in the throat. Light bounces off of the UnSub's face as a teammate aims their torch in your direction, but you're wheezing and aching, your throat on fire and too overwhelmed to think. The hand that hurt you leaps for your gun. You hold onto it for dear life, even as he forces it once, twice into the soft of your face, leaving rings of flame behind your eye. You pull it hard from his hands and fling it across the floor out of reach, squirming under his weight, needing to be away, away— 
You pull your knee up and kick wildly, a well timed blow hitting the UnSub in the face with a damp-sounding crunch. 
“I don't have eyes on her!” Emily shouts. 
“I do,” Spencer says. His torchlight floods your area as he shouts, “Stand down!” 
You don't squeal, but it's not a very professional sound as you crawl backwards out of the way. The ring of fire behind your eyes feels ever so slightly above it now. The room is half gone. You wipe your eye and look down at your hand, dark staining your palm in a heavy smear.
“Oh,” you mumble queasily. 
The power never comes back on, but you don't notice until after, when Spencer's dragged you outside to the front yard and lowered you to a soft patch of grass, an EMT beside him dressing your wound. “Did they get him?” you ask. 
Spencer's brow wrinkles with his frown. 
“Remember what we said?” The EMT asks. 
“No?” You wince and hiss as he pulls the wings of a butterfly stitch closed over your eyebrow. 
“You have a concussion. I'm trying to work out how bad it is.” 
You honestly still feel like you're in the dark room. You reach out for Spencer's hand instinctively, needing comfort, a tether to the ground, and he clasps your fingers tightly. “You're okay,” he says steadily. 
“You're smiling at me weird.” You glance over your shoulder at the cop cars and the flashing red-blue lights. “Did you get him?” 
“Emily got him. Just after he got you.” Spencer looks like he might stand from his crouch, but he brings your hand to his chin instead, leaning on it showfully. “It's my fault, I'm sorry. I told you I'd have your back and I didn't.” 
Your chest stirs with the memory of your panic. One moment you'd been underneath him, and aching, and now you're on the grass as the forensics bring in the floodlights, so bright it's like mini suns have come out on either side of the yard. You hang your head to hide from the light. The EMT tells you off. 
“Does your throat still hurt?” Spencer asks you, pulling on your hand gently. “Answer me.” 
“My head is swimming.” 
Your memories fuzz over. When you look up again the EMT is gone. Spencer sits on the grass now beside you unhurried, your hand still clamped between both of his. His thumb rubs at your knuckles and the smooth stretch of skin beside them, apparently content to wait with you. 
“She's okay?” Tara asks, seemingly having appeared from nowhere. 
“Not enough medical. They're gonna look at Agent Walker and circle back. She might have to be admitted.” 
Tara bends at the waist to look you in the eye. “You okay?” 
“I'm fine. Are you okay?” you ask. 
“I'm doing better than you. That's gonna be a terrific bruise.” She smiles at Spencer reassuringly. “Emily wants you. I can sit with her, she'll be in good hands.” 
“She'd be in great hands,” Spencer says simply, “but I don't care. I'm staying here. Please tell Emily she can come here if she needs to talk to me. I'm not going anywhere until they've finished looking at Y/N.” 
Tara grins. “Your funeral.” 
You're slowly starting to feel like yourself again, or more aware of yourself at the very least. Spencer's touch is melding from comforting to heart-rending, his nearness a heat. He looks stupidly good-looking considering what you've just been through, the FBI vest tight on his chest, his sweet brown curls falling into his eyes as he plays with your fingers. 
“I must look awful,” you realise suddenly, a stone's throw from tearful. 
Spencer doesn't glance up at first. “You look beautiful, but the bruise is…” He looks at you through dark lashes. “It's a tragedy.” 
“What?” 
His small smile fades. “How are you feeling? Are things clear, or would you say that I'm out of focus? You're having moderate to severe concussive symptoms.” He shakes his head. “And the bruise is mottling already.” 
“I'm sorry.” 
Spencer laughs softly. After a pensive moment, he brings your hand to his mouth. Maybe he kisses it, maybe he doesn't, but the touch brings a sacredness to his promise, “I won't let that happen again. You trusted me to keep you safe.” 
“I trusted you to tell me if I was ready, and I was. I remembered how to get out of it. I'm still here.” You fluster after you've spoken, feeling brash. 
You can feel his gaze on the side of your face. “You are. You did amazing.” He removes one hand from yours. A featherlight touch coasts down your cheek, brief and encouraging nonetheless. “It's going to be a really bad bruise.” 
“Oh, well,” you say tiredly. 
Spencer's turn to go quiet. He holds your hand on his thigh. “I could kiss it better?” he offers in a murmur. 
You laugh and steal your hand back, unable to take all his attention at once. “Funny, Spencer.” 
He gives you a warm smile. You can't tell if he's kidding or not about the kiss, but his devotion to you while you're hurting is real. You're not sure where that leaves you.
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