#i feel so awful

[rosaaeles]

tw: mention of sexual harassment

yesterday i found out that a person i considered a friend (ill call them J for convenience) told someone on our uni course (ill call them k) about sexual harassment i faced last year.

i didn’t want J to tell anyone, especially not K seen as K and his friendship group were literally there when i got sexually harassed and bystood the whole event.

i keep trying to make sense of it but i cant. i cant rationalise it.

i told J about this confidentially. it told them about something super traumatic that happened in my life and now they’ve taken it and discussed it with someone who they know bystood the entire event and didn’t step in to help me whilst i was being harassed.

it makes me sick. J came up to me and told me yesterday and said “i know it wasn’t my thing to say, hope it’s okay that i did.” and it’s like???? if you knew it wasn’t your thing to say why did you? i made it explicitly clear that i didn’t want to talk to K or his friendship group. i’ve been ignoring them all year for a reason. i can’t look at them without panicking or feeling sick. i associate them with what happened to me, and i truly feel nauseous whenever i think about how none of them stepped in to help me or comfort me afterwards.

it feels like something has been taken from me. a trauma that should have been my own to decide what to do with now belongs to people i never wanted it to. only K knows for now i think, but the rest of his friendship group will soon and then all of them will know and i hate this so much. i feel so sick thinking about it.

i trusted J with something so personal and they used it as gossip fodder to become closer friends with K. i trusted J with an awful event and they fucking told one of the people that i directly associate with it.

it also feels like J never really cared about how deeply i was affected by being harassed. or like, they didn’t attach much weight to it and therefore thought it would be okay to talk about it. i’ve spent months trying to tell myself that what i experienced was serious and i wasn’t overreacting in the aftermath. it’s so devastating to feel like it’s all very trivial and just gossip.

i feel so distraught. i feel like im crazy. i can’t imagine doing the same to someone else. i dont know why J thought it would be okay.

idk if i’m making much sense rn, everything feels like a mess

#sorry this is such a downer #but i had to get it off my chest #i feel so awful #genuinely devastated #rosa shut up challenge #i’ll delete tomorrow

[sleepless-crows]

my friend's only sixteen and her dad died

#i feel so awful #and it was from the same sickness my lolo died of #the same sickness my dad might also inherit #shes sixteen

[sixftmp3]

pro-tip: dont get a cold right before a big move. and dont put off packing until a few days before a big move. and dont get a cold either

#me.txt #I FEEL SO AWFUL #I NEED TO PACK BUT I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO! #THIS SUCKS!!!

[rrcenic]

oh god people dont actually like me do they

#i feel so awful #like everyones just being polite but no one sticks around #im sorry if i made you feel ljke you had to be my friebd

[andeat-m]

so i might have the flu! so i will for real be lurking until im better 🤧

#mobile tbd. #this is so fucked up sick and twisted #i feel SO awful #i plan to sleep it off and catch up on shows when im resting in bed 🫡

[tdutb]

тhere is an ache in my chesт only a roboт can heal. buт she is noт here or real

#my art #ms paint #chicken thoughts #cringe compilaтion #i feel so awful #buт тhere is noтhing тo do abouт iт

[missrandomdreamer]

top of my anxiety and awkwardness today

As I was running for our ride, I was stopped by someone asking about my Claire Redfield cosplay

Turns out it was her voice actress

#I was so awkward and wasn't mentally prepared Dx #I feel so awful #Iahhhhh #Claire Redfield

[snzluv3r]

i dont know what’s wrong with me but i’m so sick and haven’t been able to get rid of this fever all week and now my entire body hurts so much it genuinely feels like i broke all of my bones

#complaining for a second but can be whump material if you want #just have to hold out until tomorrow morning #i feel so awful #even my fingers hurt

[celestialulu]

good morning I miss nalu

#i feel so awful #the mashima nalu doodle form yesterday is what’s keeping me going 💪

[scarletcomet]

so fucking depressed I don't know what to do

#i feel so awful #i want to die so badly

[stressghoul]

im sorry i just have to let this out-

i am having the worst cramps of my life and the only thing that could cure it would be curling up into Copia’s side, having him fiddle with my hair and him humming softly per aspera ad inferi to help me fall asleep

so I am begging u pls fill the comments/reblogs with Copia hc on what he would do to help with cramps bc i am a mess rn

#again I am begging u pls #i feel so awful #all I need is copia #the band ghost #ghost #ghost bc #cardinal copia #copia #papa iv #copia my beloved #copia is my husband

[useful-boy]

Hey girls. Who else up rotting and decomposing.

#i feel so awful #past two days i havent even wanted food and i Always want food #there is something dead in me

[bambi-on-the-ps3]

Can I get a hug real quick

Can I get a hu

#im tweaking for the 1000th time #i feel so awful #awful everything #wompwomp

[bittersweetbonbon]

i fucked up, and said something bad, and got muted in a game, and i genuinely feel like im gonna hurl

#emento warning #god. i feel so guilty #i feel so awful #i need to think before i speak #or at least clarify after any suspect messages that i am Joking #anyways #how do i remove this bone-deep feeling of nausea

[sacredthefran]

I keep rewriting the second half of part 6. Someone take my laptop away from me and just post it.

#cream & sugar #I feel so awful #but I’m paranoid af about this part

[yelenabemylova]

yk when mitchell pritchett is always like "shaaaameee!!" yeah that's essentially my self affirmation for the day

#i feel so awful #i hate myself for it #ybml vents