#i dunno ok

[sapphic-woes]

Kingmaker - Female Eivor x Reader

A/N: I wrote this for no reason in like two hours sorry. Minors DNI

Word count: 1.2k. AO3 LINK

______

"They say the Queen had someone by her side when she first took Wessex back. Someone sworn to her flesh and bone."

You look up as you sweep the palace floor. The girls loved to chatter, but you couldn't blame them. There wasn't much else maids could do to pass the time. You weren't above joining in, but this was a topic you'd never heard before.

The queen was a person of reverence. She ruled righteously and was loved by all. However, she had sworn to never marry another. No matter what man or king came to win her heart, your queen stood firm…

"...because her heart already belongs to another. Her kingmaker." One girl whispers, dusting the walls.

"Are they dead?" Another asks empathetically, frowning at the thought of the queen mourning her dead lover.

"Apparently, the witan were against their love. My father said a plot was formed against them." The girl sweeping with you mutters. You perk up at that.

"A ploy?" Your question makes the girl dusting the walls (Was it Alfwood?) turn to look at you. 

"It was! My mother was in the crowd when it happened. She said the kingmaker always wore a hood, and their voice was hoarse. There, surrounded by the crowd, the witan raised their voices against a single person…

"How can you dare say you've stood with us, heathen? You are the enemy!" The head of the witan snarls, voice booming across the town square. It makes my mother jump, but the hooded figure in the midst of it all remains calm.

"Am I, Lord? The knights of Wessex know I have. I was with them from the Somerset marshes, to Edington, to all the battles that followed. Does that stand for nothing?" The hooded figure was right. My mother and everyone else knew Wessex would have fallen long ago if not for this person. So why were the witan against our savior staying?

"Yet you have tried to convert our Queen and make her worship your idols. I have seen it with my own eyes!" Another member of the witan cries, and the hooded figure pauses, as if stumped. 

The crowd fills with gasps. If the Queen turned away from God, surely Wessex would fall. My mother swallows nervously, glancing at the queen.

"She's heartbroken." Is what my mother said she thought the moment she did. She said the  young queen looked devastated.

The witan–

"Wait, devastated?" You interrupt much to everyone's annoyance. "Sorry, the queen is so stoic, and intimidating…I can't imagine her openly being sad…" Alfwood scoffs.

"Well of course, this was long before we were born. The queen now knows how to hide her emotions, but back then it was different. Anyways…"

The witan spewed insult after insult, and the crowd began to turn on the hooded figure–yet no one was interested in what the queen thought. Newly appointed, she had little power like she does now.

Her twisted expression of grief was clear as day. Surely, she did not want this. However, no one seemed to care, no one except…

"It's alright. We are bonded. You and I." Except for the hooded figure, who looked straight at the queen rather than anyone else.

"I do not apologize for following the faith of my lands. The gods have always guided me, and they shall continue to do so." Her words addressed to the witan cause a stir, yet somehow she remains focused on the queen, and her voice carries over all the other noise.

"You are the woman I could never be. Nor do I wish to be. But you are the only person who can lead this land. That is why I helped put you on the throne…because you are strong enough to stay, even when I'm gone." The queen's eyes shine, yet she doesn't cry.

"I have loved you. Despised you. Fought with and against you so many times over…" A light chuckle comes from the hooded figure. Their head twists up towards the queen, but my mother still can't see the entirety of the figure's face. She only catches vibrant blue eyes that gleam under the sun.

"But it was never less than an honor to serve you, my queen."

"…Then what happened? Did they die?" Alfwood shakes her head. 

"No, my mother said they were exiled from Wessex and never came back…but there are rumors." All the servant girls pause, including you, and Alfwood basks in the attention as she whispers.

"Like forbidden lovers, the kingmaker sneaks into the palace at night! Once a month, under the beautiful moon, with only heaven as their witness–"

"Girls! What did I say about slacking off on the job?" The head maid yells at the top of her lungs, and your little group immediately scatters. You scurry off to sweep another hall, thinking about the story you just heard.

"How romantic…" you whisper, focusing once again on your duties.

—

You arch your back with a soft groan. The head maid was so cruel, giving you extra work as punishment for gossiping on the job. Now you were off to put away the cleaning supplies, too lazy to light a candle as you walk the shadowy halls of the palace.

"...Please….the girls are already gossiping about it…getting caught will only add fuel to the fire–ah, Eivor!"  Your queen's voice makes you jump. What was going on? Why did she sound like that? Who was…oh.

You peek around the corner of the hallway, hands over your mouth. Your queen is pressed against her chamber's door, flushed and moaning as a hooded figure tenderly kisses her neck. Your eyes widen, blushing as you witness such intimacy…and in public nonetheless!

"Do they? Well then, why don't we give them some new material, hm?" A rough voice teasingly murmurs, and you queen laughs breathlessly. Your queen that you admired for her cool demeanor and poised manner was…smiling. She looked free, happy…and in love.

Could it be? 

The broom slips from your hand. The moment it hits the ground, blue eyes snap at you. You squeak, turning away quickly to dart down the way you came.

Blue eyes…a hoarse voice…a hooded figure…!!

— 

Eivor still stares at the end of the hallway, though you know she's just avoiding your gaze.

"...You're a greedy idiot." The Dane nods.

"I'm an opportunistic idiot. The child had no light with her, and she was as quiet as a mouse…" Her piercing gaze shifts back to you.

"...and I was focused on more important things." You can't help but smirk, wrapping your arms around Eivor's neck.

"That child will tell half the entire palace what she saw by tomorrow afternoon, and by night there will be about a hundred more rumors that follow." Eivor hums, lips tickling your jaw.

"My deepest apologies. How can I make it up to my queen?" You giggle as she peppers kisses across your body. Clumsily, you open the door of your chambers behind you, and the both of you stumble onto the bed.

"Then serve me, Eivor." You whisper as Eivor gently undresses you, gazing at the wetness between your legs. Her breaths are rugged, as are yours, and you reach up to caress the exile's face.

"Show me again why you're my kingmaker."

#eivor varinsdóttir #female eivor #female eivor x reader #f!eivor x reader #ac valhalla #i dunno ok

[ruinouslore]

deadpool (and wolverine) out of context

[source]

#deadpool #wolverine #marvel #marvel comics #wade wilson #logan soemthing #I dunno ok #Comics #secret wars is wonky but ok

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[ibrithir-was-here]

How the heck is there not more talk about Tanith Lee??

Like my gosh, the woman wrote, according to her wiki, 90 books, over 300 short stories, two World Fantasy Awards, and was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award/Augus Derleth Award and wrote for tv shows.

Like, it's not like she just wrote a heck ton but wasn't very good! She was clearly very good she won awards, and i've read a swath of her stuff across different genres and really enjoyed most of it. I mean that even if not each one has been my cup of tea I can at least appreciate the skill and quite a lot I have truly enjoyed. She's got great prose and style and imagination. Not everything obviously was a banger, but they've all been at least well written, which is harder to come by in writing than you might think.

But nobody ever seems to talk about her?? And I feel like the fantasy crowd on here would really enjoy her stuff. The woman has done stuff in pretty much every genre from what I can see, but I never see her listed on fantasy authors like Clive Barker or Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett or Diane Duane even though she was writing at the same time and has a similar sort of '80s Doing Cool Stuff with Fantasy vibe' I feel like people who like those authors would enjoy though she's very much her own style of author.

Anyway this was really just me putting out a rant that such a prolific and talented author seems to have fallen by the wayside and I think it's really a shame

Heck she even did a witch-queen fighting againt vampire Snow White a whole decade before Neil Gaiman did his phenomenal Snow Glass Apples and it's also excellent, give a look here:

#tanith lee #fantasy authors #fantasy books #70s fantasy #80s fantasy #90s fantasy #british fantasy #British writers #i dunno how to tag i just want this woman to be remembered darn it #Youtube #i hope its ok to tag the authors mentioned #not trying to spam but like also want the fan crossover to get people interested in her again? #i dont know why i'm taking this so personally xD #neil gaiman #diane duane #terry pratchett #clive barker #diana wynne jones #vampire snow white

[abbeyofcyn]

So I've made these matching wallpapers

How about an AOD?

Ok bye :^)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #disaster twins #aod #always on display #this is on my samsung btw dunno if other phones have this function #I just love these turtle tots ok #but they felt kinda naked without masks #so there #excuse the crappy photo of my phone lol

[royalarchivist]

Ramon: So opinions on [Bagi]?

Fit: She's legit, we can trust her. We can trust her.

Ramon: Would you rather a dad or a mom [for me?]

Fit: Uh- I- no one! No one. Let's- let's get over to Felps' Square, Ramon. [They head to the warp at Spawn, then Fit hesitates] Um, wait- Ramon. [He pauses, briefly looks at the camera, then says in a rush] If I had to choose between the two, it'd be a dad. Alright, let's go. Let's go, let's go.

#FitPac #Hideduo #Ramon #FitMC #QSMP #Ramon driving the Hideduo bus today and frickin FLOORING it #I'm a slowburn enjoyer but I do love it when the Eggs are little bastards and tease their parents like this LMAO #If I have time maybe I can compile some of the Fit/Pac moments from today #Ok but this out of everything that's happened lately re: Hideduo stuff; this really warmed my heart #idk it just felt so... realistic? I dunno how to phrase it but something about it really made me go :') #''if I had to choose between the two it'd be a dad'' #man idk maybe this is just because that's how I write characters but that really spoke to me #both as a slowburn writer and as a demi-leaning person

[vic-does-battlecats]

he totally did that On Purpose

(hope the gif colors come out right.. might have to click on it for it to display right?)

#a starless clan #a starless clan wind #a starless clan spoilers #shadowclan #shadowsight #puddleshine #warrior cats #warriors #i choose to believe he did thus out of spite as silly small revenge for what puddleshine made him do last arc (care for ashfur) #also just bevayse it’s funny #colors for that gif are being so finicky when I click on phone they show up ok but they don’t seem to work at all on iPad #dunno it’s up to the tumblr gods

[ihatebrainstorm]

Was speedrunning some work when this one song beamed this image into my brain and I had to drop everything to draw it lmao

(0 clue if this will be my final Jazz design? I dunno I got a few sketches, I'm real indeterminate lmao)

#I think I really like drawing characters dancing ksdkf- it be real fun o)-( #i dunno how to dance tho rip #ok.. back to speedrunning this essay hhahahhahelpme #transformers #maccadam #maccadams #transformers fanart #tf idw #jazz #frootertooter archive #jazz transformers #humanformers #hf

[crystalliumdaisy]

I know this isn’t my normal fandom but me and my friend r rewatching fairy tail and i’m embracing the cringe

#fairy tail #fairy tail fanart #fairytail #fairy tail lucy #lucy heartfilia #lucy fairy tail #I LOVE THIS SHOW OK 😭 #ull get ur regularly scheduled hermits and jrwis soon #i might start posting ocs i dunno tho #embracing the cringe

[tooquirkytolose]

We stan a rat baby they/them

#my art #romantic killer #riri #ok look i dunno about the japanese but the english subtitles exclusively used they/them for riri soooooo #they're a boy! they're a girl! they're both and none and everything in between! #they were gonna say 'im a wizard' btw lmao

[ratcandy]

putting my entomology lessons to good use

#also sozo is now my beautiful Spouse my wonderful Partner as oppsoed to wife because the trans hc makes too much sense to me #in my brain. #and i don't know if (and bear with me here) sozo un-shroomed would be as comfortable ??????????with wife????// #i don't think he cared either way while Shroomed but un-shroomed. I am uncertain. I dunno. I am rotating him #maybe my midn will change on this in an instant. these are all split second headcanons based on my Knowledges. #ok normal again #clamart #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl sozo #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #uh does this need a uh #cotl spoilers #<- for unshroomed Sozo? maybe #sozo

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Has Ben's habit of casual flirting caused any problems for him or the team?

Probably not as much as his casual flexing with Omnitrix tbh xD Which is basically flirting for this guy!

Though admittingly HoM Ben is not as flirty as it might seem at first. As he grew up, it became, as you said, a habit - more of a part of his heroic/public persona that he developed after becoming a hero celebrity across the (alien part of) universe.

It tends to make people (especially those who know him by his reputation first) feel easier around him and/or underestimate him if he is just some silly guy who flirts. (I mean he is silly guy who casually flirts, but he is also just a dude and so much more, as we all know.)

There were a few instances when it brought trouble, but also sometimes it helped them out too. But, let's just say that HoMies tend to look out for Ben not to say something unfortunate whenever he tends to be too friendly.

Actually there is another casual flirter in their friend group that brings almost as much trouble as Ben - it's Jake! Some of his casually flirty/overly friendly behaviour can be attributed to him becoming an American Dragon in his early teens (he really enjoyed his newfound cool dragon powers and popularity amongst magical folk), and some of it is just his personality (his behaviour was incredibly cringy at times when he was younger, but as he matured, it changed into something a little bit more charming).

When those two are on a mission together, others have to work overtime to keep an eye on them.

Which is ironic, because I 100% headcanon almost all of the HoMies masters of accidental rizz: they make people like them just by being themselves lol.

#que? #hom au #hom au q&a #jake long #ben tennyson #jenny xj9 #and! honorable mentions of Rex: who is also a bit of a flirt but not an overly casual one so he is not as bad as Ben and Jake #and Jenny: who can be incredibly flirty when she sees someone attractive to her. but otherwise she is not a casual flirty type #and Randy!: whos is a bit like Ben when he is in a suit. but infinitely more awkward. he is still maturing xD #me. drawing Ben and squinting: ....is he handsome? or even pretty? i cant tell because i always draw him tired af so like???i dunno man #i cant draw people like they are super attractive ok i have my artistic limits lol

[twipsai]

HELLO!!!!! recently went insane thinking about @zeezu-ix 's Triple☆S au so i drew em~~ (hope you dont mind the @ ehehfekwjkfjhslkjdh) i wanna draw more later but i am tired LMAO

#twip draws #not sure if i shouldve tagged the side blog or the main?? hope this is ok-- #AUGH i get so anxious posting fanart for other users ok im gonna crawl into a burrow now #sonic the hedgehog #sth #shadow the hedgehog #silver the hedgehog #Triple☆S #<is. that the tag for the au??? #i dunno.. #triple s

[front-facing-pokemon]

#wimpod #dunno about this one. i feel like the pokémon company has a tendency to make so many pokémon that are just so Scared #and like ok. i get it. i relate. i am also a Scared bug on occasion. but why do they have to be so scared #and they always evolve into the most terrifying beasts this side of the wild west #which is also kinda based never mind. i'm not questioning it anymore

[elbarkla]

Drew a raspberry ranchu 'cause I like their blobby heads 💗 Third fish-themed piece in a row 🥰 ! I blame the weather for being TOO HOT ALL SUMMER

#ranchu goldfish #goldfish #raspberry #cottagecore #fishblr #art #goldfish art #elbarklaart #cute #i dunno about the ethics of selectively breeding these guys but they're still cute ok

[brainrotisseriechicken]

pirate au able thingy

(couldn't fit in her markings without overloading the piece/covering up my rendering which i am Very proud of but atleast some of them r there if u squint rlly hard )

#scp 076 #scp #scp foundation #scp fandom #scp fanart #fanart #illustration #the hands barely perceptible because that angle is hard as shit to paint ok #i wasnt using any references for anything because i was stubborn and i might just die from a nervous attack if i did #she/her able #dunno how to feel about this one but its postable so ehh #whatever