Tumgik
#i dont even know what it is some ppl just be Grating u kno?
toytulini · 9 months
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does anyone else have like popular users, or users with popular posts, where like, you like and generally agree w a lot of the posts of theirs that end up on ur dash. but when you look at their blog for more than like 2 minutes you immediately know that if you tried to follow them youd end up hating and blocking them lmao? i am obviously Not going to give examples
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catfish-and-the · 2 years
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rnating. u can scroll past
i dont even kno where to begin everything is just bad and everything aches and everything is empty and each waking moment just feels Bad and its hard to sleep and the Bad feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night and its the first thing i feel when i wake up is just Bad and e mpty and its been over a month and when i say ive tried everything to feel better like i have lmao ive tried all thrhee types of antidepressants and ive tried nicotine and weed and positive reflection and gratefulness exercises and not self h*rming and doing physical exercise ive tried going out to socialize more often and scheduling time out for hobbies and ive tried surrounding myself with the color yellow and eatinng a better diet and keeping up with self care and getting therapy and staying hydrated all at once all at the same tiem and still still it feels like this and im really just. i really feel like it wont get better lmao this really feels like a brand new low and ive just been feeling like this for at least a decade if not longer and i hate living like this but nothing fucking helps in fact like i said ive felt worse than ever before it just doesnt feel like it will get better no matter what i do because i feel like ive done almost everything i could possibly do and it just hasnt worked. and i feel like its only going to get worse because the future is Ass like the news and the gov and the politics and the climate and working your whole life away for nothing and im so scared ill get a job that i dont like and make everything so much worse and im just so mad and sad because i switched out of my old phsics major bc it was too much for me and it destroyed my psyche bc me and my friends would like spend 6 hrs after class in the student tutor room trying to get help for one proble and the tutrs didnt even know how to solve it and i was like i cant throuw my youth away doing this because i already did that in high school and it got me fucking nowhere so i switched out to have time to live life but then covid happened and i was too late anyway bc by then everyone had their friend groups already and still now i dont have. like. friends lol. so i switched out of my dream major but there was no life for me to live so it really feels like it was all for nothing and also idk if this is for everyone but weed out classes made me feel brain damaged and like destined to be stupid even now im like im not smarte nougha dn im not tough anough and im not reilient enough and it has instilled in me this forever guilt and forever self doubt idk how to explain it i just feel so bad bc i really did like physics i just wasnt smart or strong enough i guess lmaoooo but the thing is if i knew thhat there would be no life to catch up on. i wouldve just stayed in that major bc i didnt need to do anything else. now im in english w all the time in the world and straight As and my friends dont invite me to their hangouts.
and then theres also the fact that idk i feel bad saying this but for some reason ppl of my own gender and race dont like me lmfao like i still cant believe ppl of my own race and gender would like. try to get me to not be on the elevator at the same time as me we r both waiting for the elevator and then she gets in and closes the door on me when we are BOTH WAITING THERE. and this has happened w several complete strangers several times and im like what do u have against me fr im trying so hard to be a better person im trying so hard but it feels so u nfair. and the beauty standards are so extreme and i never fit in and it makes me feel like shit and guys of my race will always call me ugly completely unprompted or something and im just like. im just trying so hard. and i have 0 social skills bc i spent all of my time as a kid studying bc i love avademia and it was the only thing anyone ever respected me for cos i was always the kid that was the butt of jokes and pranked on and left out so i was like i have to be smart if i want to be respected but then i have no social skills but i still dont have any lmao and i feel so lonely bc i dont know how to make deep and close connections and ive never been in a relationshipand “everyone will get their time” or whatever but the lack of experience is scary bc i feel like im goonna fuck something up inevitably bc ive never done this before and/or i will have trust issues and self confidence issues bc of how im always treated and its like yeah enjoy being alone but i have been alone my whole life and i feel like ive exhausted everything out of it i want connections now i want to share things now. going to restaurants and parks and shops by urself and having a good time is fine but i have been doing that for over ten years im old now i want. i want to share my life w someone but theres no one to share it with lol. and the longer i go without sharing it it just feels like the less hope there is for things changing. i tried googling how to socialize and make conversations and form closer bonds but it just doesnt work and i feel like i was never destined to be happy or have good things bc everything ve tried at never has worked out. i wanted to go to a nice college and failed. i wanted to be a physicist and failed. i wanted to make friends and failed. i wanted to be ina band and failed/ i wanted to make my own career and failed. its been over ten years. i want it all to stop i dontn want to try anymore i know how it always turns out.
#and i feel like i have to get a nice job bc like#in my culture the children care for their parents right and i have always felt like a parasite child#to my parents so ive always wanted to like take care of them annd just like be nice to them back so#i thot i could get a good job and send them money but this job might kill me bc i dont like it#but i also feel like i cant ruin their legacy bc they were immigrants and worked rlly hard to get#to where they are now and i dont wanna fuck that up but like oh my god#oh my god idk everything hurts so bad#and ive grown to be so bitter and so angry bc the way im always treated and ill be rlly curt#towards ppl that dont deserve it so the guilt just keeps piling up but ic abt control it either#bc my parents also just put this stress on me and also dont help w me socializing like every summer#i come back bc i have to but then my friends on the rare occassion they invite me i cant go#bc my parents dont let me#idk im just so sad and bitter and angry and full of guilt#when i was a kid i made a promise to myself that i would try to make the best life decisions so that this wouldnt happen#but i ended up becoming the very thing i swore i would never become and it is just so sad#its just the fact that ive done everythingin my power to help for as long as i could its been several years#and its only gotten worse but i know i even tried to d ie several times ad failed at that too#i dont know what my next option is everything hurts and i want it all to stop i just want everything to stop#and w grad school approaching im burdened w another decision of. leaving my band and starting over#or staying in a place i never wanted to be anyway and i donnt know what the move is#im so out of hope im contemplating op iates or xan or something bc i dont know what else to do ive tried#ive tried
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bangtanger · 3 years
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CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW
was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 
also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3
❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 
ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)
❀ a creation u r really proud of 
well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)
❀ a creation that took u forever
ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 
❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes
whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)
❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 
lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol
❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 
i didnt join anything heurheru
❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart
OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T
❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love
this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol
❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else
oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(
@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....
@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj
@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss
@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T
@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T
@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 
@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj
@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........
@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1
@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....
@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T
@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here
@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T
@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!
@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY
@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME
@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 
@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!
@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T
@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN
@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3
@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE
@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T
@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY
@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno
@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE
OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 
❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year
ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3
OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan
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ofphcenixes · 5 years
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BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001
texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm
blue
hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them
libby
i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird
blue
i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd
libby
don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you
blue
ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it
libby
i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess
blue
fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future
libby
no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho
blue
im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.
libby
god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal
blue
u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol
libby
i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?
blue
ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?
libby
fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.
blue
do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol
libby
don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted
blue
why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else
libby
hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.
blue
oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib
libby
night
blue
its 6pm lib but okay night
blue
lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah
libby
it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine
blue
i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah
libby
i guess i'll go. i like pacman.
blue
if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.
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saportuh · 6 years
Text
ok panic concert highlights
(plus some personal adventures)
this was the portland show on the 12th k
so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic
we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)
so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit
befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.
we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH
THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;
OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS
arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.
HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha
ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair
“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time
k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v
SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 
her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be
during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)
most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional
then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk
THEN PANIC CAME OUT 
WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH
KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE
THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR
ok several things about breb
one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds
two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.
three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 
four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity
ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol
HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao
i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)
hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals
and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty
nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao
golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die
k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do
I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE
during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it
SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK
speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose
he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM
sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao
o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life
AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn
RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING
legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH
also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw
the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh
but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was
ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk
fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was
once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 
legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 
i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.
also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.
OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG
he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds
G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS
AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE
breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.
after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;
also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl
nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)
ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao
anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful
he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo
NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY
drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit
fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop
there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 
UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell
the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now
lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy
during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb
at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS
FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.
a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful
THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN
i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho
I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS
BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE
bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch
SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 
in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass
my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???
us: W H O R E bden: ily
VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO
they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live
he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;
i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic
oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 
he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao
CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;
so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao
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wannasoftimagine · 7 years
Text
lee daehwi as your soulmate
imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist
(as requested!)
ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol
for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be
ANYWAYS
once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear
ure not super sure if theyre letters or numbers or smthn else, bc it doesnt show up on ur skin quite right yet
eventually, ure able to decipher it as a set of numbers and ure like. okay cool BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN
u talk it over w some of ur family and friends, and everyone seems to have their own idea abt what it means
but the more ppl u talk to, the more they start to agree tht it seems like a date - for several years in the future
at tht point u realize that its probably the day tht ull finally meet ur soulmate, so theres not rlly much u can do abt it until then
ure a little tempted to try and search for someone with a similar clue, but there are just SO MANY to sort thru tht u decide its not rlly worth it
u try and focus on urself - struggling thru school, spending time w family/friends, typical stuff that most ppl ignore bc theyre too busy searching for their soulmate
honestly its kinda nice knowing when ull meet ur soulmate, since u can relax until then
time passes bc u kno. tht tends to happen in life
SO
it starts to get closer and closer to the date when u meet and NOW the nerves are coming
bc ure like ?? what are they like? what if i dont like them? what if they dont like //me//? where are we gonna meet? what time? do they have the same clue? what if i dont recognize them????
honestly ure a mess of worries by the time the day comes
trying to sleep the night before is almost impossible since ure such a bundle of doubts as u toss and turn in ur bed
come morning, u do ur best to dress as nice as u can
but honestly ure starting to doubt ur sense of fashion and style at this point
eventually u have to calm urself down bc theres no point in stressing out too much, or else ure just going to freak out and have an awful day, soulmate or not
then ure like waaaait a second,,
n u realize tht u dont know when exactly or where ure going to meet ur soulmate
which makes things much harder tbh
u settle on staying on a park bench, watching ppl pass and letting ur wrist casually rest beside u so its out in the open
ure hoping tht someones just going to walk by and be like oH HELLO SOULMATE
as time goes on u realize tht ure not that lucky
actually ure prob rlly unlucky bc bugs seem like theyre attacking u and u take tht as ur cue to leave
ure wandering around a little bit when u stumble across this cute little hole-in-the-wall cafe, so u decide to go in and rest ur feet there
(also maybe meet ur soulmate bc tht would be super Aesthetic u feel)
anyways
u wait around with a cup of coffee and a bagel, hoping that ull see someone walk in with a mark similar to urs
u realize pretty quickly tht it wont happen bc 1) so many ppl keep coming in and out, and 2) no one walks around showing off their wrist tbh
tht leaves u growing more frustrated and worried in ur spot
part of u wants to just approach random strangers and ask “listen im meeting my soulmate today CAN I SEE UR WRIST”
but the realistic part of u is like “what the heck no dont do tht”
u settle on agreeing with the latter
at some point, as ure boring holes into the dozens of strangers frequenting the cafe, u start to nod off
u dont even notice until one of the workers is shaking u awake with a polite smile and telling u tht the store is closing, so ure going to have to please leave
thts when ure like “wow,,, i was rlly tired bc it is LATE outside” but also “WAIT WHAT IF MY SOULMATE CAME HERE WHEN I WAS ASLEEP”
even as u frantically look around, u dont see any cutely written messages from ur presumed soulmate or anything like tht
all u can think is tht maybe ur soulmate clue doesnt mean what u thought it did
after all, its around evening already, and u still havent seen a sign of them
u end up wandering around outside again, too worried abt the possibility of never meeting ur soulmate to be freaked out over the whole “tiny kid walks around alone in the dark!!!!” thing
anywho
u keep checking ur phone (and feeling rlly grateful tht u havent run out of battery yet) and time just keeps to slip thru ur fingers
u end up going to a small restaurant for dinner, but its a place tht uve visited before and u dont see anyone new that could be ur soulmate
afterwards u decide to head on home with a heavy heart
u keep thinking “mb its not the date when we meet??”
but honestly ure not sure what else it could be
like is it the date ur soulmate is born?? but thtd be a kinda creepy age difference,,
and,,,, okay yeah u cant rlly think of anything else
u may or may not get lost a couple of times bc ure so absorbed in ur own thoughts
it doesnt help tht ure not exactly the best with directions
by the time u think ure nearing ur home, ur phone flashes at u with the time 11.51pm and ure like “???!!!!!!!!!!!”
u dont even know what to think at tht point
but then u get hit with the realization tht ure not meeting ur soulmate today and u might never meet them at all, and ure crushed with this aching sense of nothingness
ure just about ready to curl into a ball and just lie on the street for the rest of ur life when u hear someone yell “URE WALKING IN CIRCLES”
and u snap ur head up to try and see who said tht, and u see someone sticking his head out of his window and gesturing wildly
“wHAT” u manage to yell back, bc itd be embarrassing if this guy was trying to help u navigate around and u ended up sobbing back in response
“URE GOING IN CIRCLES UVE PASSED MY WINDOW LIKE 10 TIMES”
and thats.. just as embarrassing tbh
“ARE U LOST??? WHERE DO U LIVE”
all good intentions aside, u frown at his figure to tell him “IM NOT TELLING U WHERE I LIVE”, a pause, and then u add on “U CREEP” bc ure a strong independent individual who doesnt need any freaky dude in ur life
“AT LEAST USE UR PHONE OR SMTHN!!!! URE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME AT THIS POINT”
u feel a little dumb at that bc,,, honestly uve been so wrapped up in ur head tht u kinda forgot u could just use ur phone for directions back home
still just as u pull it out, it flashes a “dead battery” symbol and just. dies on u
“ITS DEAD” u tell the guy, altho ure not rlly sure why ure telling him this bc what if he really is a creep and now he knows u cant call for help ??????????
“IM COMING DOWN”
okay, thats definitely not helping ur i-think-hes-a-serial-killer idea
when he finally closes the window and makes his way down and outside to u, uve prepared urself with a rock
just,, in case,,,,,
(its not even a really good rock but u gotta do what u gotta do)
“i didnt want to keep yelling” the guy says, and he looks much sweeter in person (and when hes not screaming directions at u)
he sticks out his hand and ure like ?? but u take it anyways
“im lee daehwi!! do u want to borrow my phone?” he holds it out to u and even tho ure really tempted to take it, ure still a little skeptical
“if i put my address in there, then ull know where i live and u can track me afterwards”
he seems to find tht both very amusing and very insulting, since his face contorts into a half-laugh half-grimace
its a funny sight in of itself, so u cant help but smile at his expression
u end up bickering a little bit, and by the time he shoves his phone into ur face, u glance at the time and its past midnight and oh
today isnt the day u meet ur soulmate, then
ur face falls and he immediately yanks his hand back, obviously concerned
“are u okay?? whats wrong????”
and even tho hes still basically a stranger u cant help but show ur wrist to him and manage to explain tht u thought u were going to meet ur soulmate today, but its too late bc u still havent met them
but daehwi is giggling and ure like “dONT BE A JERK” but hes already pushing his own wrist into ur face
instead of the date, his reads “11.51 PM” in the same small dark font, and its like oh. OHHHHH
he pushes at ur shoulder, teasing u tht ur clue was more obvious bc “i had to wait around every day to see if i met someone new!!! i just want to sleep but i had no idea when id meet u”
and even as hes pouting u can barely process how relieved u are so u. accidentally zone out juuuust a little bit
he notices of course, and manages to get ur attention by saying “im glad its u tho bc ure super cute”
u stare at him, suddenly super focused on him, and he laughs
“i was just trying to get ur attention, but i do think ure rlly cute”
ure both still a bit in shock, but u manage to carry on conversations well enough bc now tht u know ure each others soulmates, ure desperate to talk to each other forever
he ends up insisting on cutting ur convo short and walking u home bc its so late, but he gives u his number and a quick, embarrassed peck on the cheek with a promise to talk to u soon
its even harder to fall asleep that night, ur head filled the memory of daehwi grinning at u like ure the best thing hed ever seen
others: jisung | sungwoon | daniel | woojin | more coming soon!
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taeslut · 7 years
Text
stay with me in 2017
isnt that cute my title kind of rhymes but hello it is me again and this is more or less my (unofficial) 2nd appreciation post bc its a new year and i thought why not also pls ignore my lack of banner i decided to do this on a whim and i honestly cant wait for my photoshop to start up so (and this is in no order at all):
@hwangsae: my dude no need to worry about ur hermitting we understand and we are a ok just as long as you dont completely forget about us. thank you for helping 2016 be less shitty than it was and i treasure our shits n giggles in form time and english. youre always a riot to be with and its literally never boring with you and thanks for always making cheesecake with me; lets hope there are many more cheesecakes in the future (maybe even one where we use an actual cake tin), im sorry for encouraging a certain someone to talk to you to sort his shit out but no worries if he does anything else imma kick his skinny ass for u. i adore your art (bUT IM STILL RGHWJKDF U DIDNT LET ME KNOW I WAS ONLY THE 89TH AND 90TH NOTE) and i will continue to support you in your art and also whatever you decide to do in the future but i do really hope you join me in classics next year. i cant believe how lucky i am that i met you and we’ve maintained our friendship to this point and its gonnA BE SO FRICKIN GREAT WHEN WE GO TO BALL THIS YEAR IM SO HYPED and im so glad we can share moments like that together. i hope youre not too gutted about your math score bc u can always resit and at least you didnt fail which is always good. i have literally so many things i could say about u n our friendship like ur dispatch level photos of me and youre tendency to eat messily especially sushi but i have other ppl to write about too so i will keep this short and let u kno i appreciate u and love u very very much. youre my best friend and here’s to another (hopefully) great fucking year.
@gooseapartment: even tho u have dubbed me with less than ideal nicknames i am nevertheless grateful for your friendship (s/n: i typed out grateful as greatful at first and i stared at it like this isnt right and i had to stare at it for 5 minutes before i understood). even tho i FUCKING HATED AS MATHS ARUHRGJWUGHI you made it more bearable and easier to understand with your chinese lessons. im sososo happy you have gotten into kpop this year as i have yet another friend i can yell with. even though your jokes are lame and i never laugh at your puns, i still appreciate you so so much and idk how id survive in chem without you next to me (especially considering the people we sit with aside from sophia). our conversations are diverse and never really boring and i love hearing about your sunflowers and other plants and your art and drawings and plans for a yt channel and your art blog that u havent posted on and your different jisoos (how is that going btw). i honestly wouldnt have survived in china without you and thank you so much for keeping in contact with me n using wechat bc china hates google n fb. you are such an incredibly strong and inspiring person and i hope you have the best time on camp (even tho u have less than ideal ppl to do it with LOL). i really really hope you come to ball this year because it wouldnt be the same without :((( thanks for being a part of my life for the past 3 years and lets make it a great 4th
@yixmg: its amazing how we have become so close in such a short amount of time and i am so grateful to have met you and gotten the chance to talk to you and realise that no u r quite different from what i thought but in a good way and thank you for putting up with me for basically the whole year last year with me n serena constantly coming over and thank you for listening to me n my problems n my bitching abt certain people. youre hilarious and one of my favourite people to hang around and i frickin love your vines so much i am sad for you that vine closed down :(((( i hope you dont stop making vines even tho u said u might or take up something like filmography or smth idk but you are so talented and i am jealous. its sad we wont be in the same classics class but i wish you luck with your subjects next year (as is a bitch). ur constant love and support for yixing is so cute and admirable (especially bc i am a slut who changes ults every other day) and i love how rapline is rapline and also (current) exom. it makes me happy how whenever we hang out it always involves food and i hope we can go to sura again and study @ the library and hopefully find a spot this time. i am in a constant state of jealousy at the amount of boys u get dang i wish i couldve walked under cherry blossoms w jshaw :((( i love how hardworking you are and im sososo lucky that i got to be one of your friends. i also used ur pen u gave me for math mocks in my eoy exams and ya girl got an a in english so i also have that to thank you for. lets hope we have many more food outings this year along w korean n chinese movies. thanks for being a part of my life and for making 2016 less shitty for me bay-hope :))))
@pixelatedphysiognomy: hoe thanks for all the hoe posts this past year and extra thanks for the dog posts they are one of the few constants in my sad life and i appreciate them very much. i love how i can tell u abt things that made me angry and you will also get angry. i forgot how the whole hoe things started but i am glad it happened because i dont think we really had the awkward first stages of friendship (but correct me if im wrong lol ) i enjoy talking to u about cartoons and the conversations where we exchange “hoe” for days is something i hold dear to my heart. even tho juniors are annoying u are one of the few (ie 3) that i wouldnt mind being friends with. maybe this year ill join the chess club and become chess grandmaster n if i really wanted to get into the role i know a guy to get some of the good shit. thank you for being a part of my 2016 and i hope you stay for the future years for more than just my licence. also i hope 2017 is the year u come to terms with your hoeing.
@yueu: i didnt know which one to tag so i am tagging the newest one. you are one of the cutest people i know and i love ur out of nowhere questions without any context. thank you for being my awkward bean friend this year and i hope we can become closer in the coming year. i love your art so much and you are so talented and i hope you never stop making art and become famous so i can be Famous By Association. you, much like my only other y10 friends, have become such a big and important part of my life considering the short amount of time we’ve known each other and im so grateful to have a friend like you in my life. i hope we can have a great 2017 together and u get all the bread in the world
@seokjinhoney: i havent talked to u in aaaages omg and i know you are on hiatus but thank you so much for being a part of my life. it was so cool to meet someone like you online and its crazy to find out we’re in the same country and meeting you was so frickin cool. youre such a lovely person and i hope we have more time to talk this year
@hmuhansol: rylee u r one of the coolest people i have met this year. even tho its only been like a few months since we started talking we’re already p close considering we were strangers before. i think its so cool how interest you are in maths n science and i hope everything with your school goes well and u get your job witht he fancy name i have 0 capability of remembering bc i am Dumb As Heck. i hope my package arrives soon and i hope you like it even tho it isnt much but i hope we get closer in 2017 and we can laugh even more abt the memeability of svt
ofc there are more people and im sorry if ive forgotten anyone ive also gotten close to this year but these r my top picks n bffs also excuse me for being sappy n my bad grammar and spelling
i hope everyone has the best 2017 and also for trump to be impeached
6 notes · View notes
Whats the catch with new cars and zero down?
"Whats the catch with new cars and zero down?
East coast honda has zero down and 259$ a month on brand new accord. Could someone explain how this would work. Do you need a high credit score. I'm 23 y/o I've never gotten a ticket or in a accident in the 5 years I've been driving. So hopeful that would help with insurance. Im in school full time and work part time and make about 10k a year. It has a 36 month leadership purchase plan. My car died I just have a year left in school. So i guess I could basically lease it for 3 years and keep it if i like it after then.  http://www.eastcoastcars.net/index.htm
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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What is the best car insurance company for a first time driver?
What should i expect in a auto accident and insurance settlement?
I was hit from behind on Wednesday evening heading to work. The driver was ticketed by the police and their insurance company has admitted full liability. Injury wise, I have whiplash which thankfully, is going away now. My car, according to their adjuster, is going to be claimed as totaled. So, my car is valued at 7400, and repairs just from visual inspection, are 7015. So they are going the totaled route as its cheaper for them. After they buy the car from me, they will sell it to salvage, expect to get 2k from it, and only be out 5400 instead of a full cost of repairs. So I've had the car for a year and half, taken out on a 5yr car loan. I still owe 12k on it. After they cut a check to the lean holder, I'm still responsible for 5k on that loan. The bank and my insurance at the time didn't offer gap insurance. Stupid of me, I let my current policy expire to search around for a more affordable policy. I kept procrastinating, and the accident happened with me having no insurance. Lucky he hit me and is at fault. I'm trying to see what my options are. I've gone to the liable company's website and see their basic plan for my state, law requires 25k in property liability for at fault accidents, plus medical etc. So I'm wondering what should I expect from the lady handling this claim. I'm not fooled when she called me yesterday and said that she is here to work with and for me. Saying that there is probably a lot of talk about lawyers, just know they will take 30-40% of you settlement. Know that I'm here to work for you, try to work with me I'm thinking my head total bull crap. 1, she works for her insurance company first, and will have their interest first, 2, she works for their client and to protect them from me in a suit. In the end, I'm not stuck with a car that they will not fully pay to have repaired, and will still owe 5k after they pay the loan holder the value of the car. My credit is damaged and getting a new loan is probably not going to happen easily. I really don't want to get a lawyer but I now have a car sitting in my driveway that I can't use plus a balance in the end. Anyone got some suggestions as to what I should realistically expect. The lady mentioned a liability settlement, repair settlement, medical expenses settlement, and personal injury settlement. I'm not out to make money on this as that just will not happen. But I have no car and will owe 5k still. I'm just like...f**k""
Looks Like my Insurance wont want to pay out for my damaged car?
I got hit by a car recently and my car was taken away for repairs. I have just been told by my insurance that my car should not have been on the road reason being that its half and half . I did my due diligence before buying this car in 2011, HPI checks and all and it came out clean. The insurance company also confirmed this as well to me. Now it looks like my insurance company does not want to pay out for my car and they want to cancel my insurance and leave me without a car. WHAT DO I DO. PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME. I AM A SINGLE MUM WITH 3 KIDS.""
How much would the insurance cost for a 2005 Mazda rx8?
I'm 17, I live in Georgia, & I'm about to obtain my license. I've had my permit for almost a year now, & I am deciding on getting an rx8 for Christmas, but I don't know if the insurance will be high or not. Could anyone possibly tell me? btw, we are on Allstate.""
What car insurance suits me best?
i am going to be in san diego during the fall quarter, from august to december. i am a 21 years old italian male with three years of driving experience and no accidents in the past. i only have the italian passport. is there any way that i can keep both my kidneys and still be able to pay an insurance for that period? does it necessarily depend on the car? thank you very much folks!!!""
How old should my vehicle be before I drop collision insurance?
How old should my vehicle be before I drop collision insurance?
What is the best health insurance in CA right now?
I need help. I don't have health insurance right now and I want to find an affordable one. I live in San Francisco, and I work part-time. I look at Athem insurance and it was around 60 bucks a month. I can't really afford that right now. Is there any other health insurance that is affordable and good?""
Car insurance question?
Im currently a proposed driver on an car insurance policy(FULLY COMP) on a Fiat Punto and im 19. My elder brother is getting a Vauxhall VXR and said if he is insured on the car (fully comp) and said if i drive his car, i am legally allowed to drive it but i will only be covered under Third Party. Can someone outline the Rights and Wrongs? Is it actually legal? any problems which may arise?""
Why is insurance for a 2007 Ford Mustang convertible so expensive?
I recently got insurance for my car and they wanted 500$ a month for it, Cheapest one I found was around 300-400$ which when you think about it, is still pretty expensive...""
Cheaper auto insurance if my parents add me to their policy?
I'm 20, financing a car.""
Whats the catch with new cars and zero down?
East coast honda has zero down and 259$ a month on brand new accord. Could someone explain how this would work. Do you need a high credit score. I'm 23 y/o I've never gotten a ticket or in a accident in the 5 years I've been driving. So hopeful that would help with insurance. Im in school full time and work part time and make about 10k a year. It has a 36 month leadership purchase plan. My car died I just have a year left in school. So i guess I could basically lease it for 3 years and keep it if i like it after then.  http://www.eastcoastcars.net/index.htm
How much would car insurance be for me?
I am a 16 year old male in the state of Massachusetts and I'm wondering how much it would cost me to insure a 1986 Monte Carlo SS.
How many independent insurance agents are there in the US?
I am trying to find out how many independent insurance agents there are in the United States. Any data, links or information would be great.""
What do i need to get low insurance on a car?
What affects insurance price and what model is cheapest?
Do any car insurance companies do insurance for one month?
Hi So I only want car insurance for one month cause I want to use my car for work purposes (usually it's off road). I have 5 years no claims but for some reason companies are charging like 250 for the month when it'd usually only cost me 700 for the year!? Does anyone recommend any companies that don't charge as much? Thanks in advance
How much is motor trade insurance?
I know this is a bit of a vague question! I am 26, clean license, 1 years no claims and would be working from home buying and selling 5000-10000 cars. Any ideas or how much do you pay if your in the trade yourself? Cheers.""
""Im a 21 yea old female, what would cost more; insurance on a 2010 camaro, or a 2007 mustang?""
also how much do you think would cost? no tickets, no wrecks, nothing on my record. thanks!""
Is motorcycle insurance manditory in california?
if you own the bike?
What are my best options for cheap car insurance?
I have just passed my driving test and I am looking to buy a car. I'm 21 year old female, and obviously I haven't got any no-claims or anything! Ideally I am after a little 1.0lt KA or Corsa. I've had a look on Compare the market etc and I've been quoted at 2,100 as being my cheapest offer on my own policy! My dad drives, but he is taking some convincing when it comes to insuring me on his policy! Basically I am wondering what the best way is to obtain cheap insurance!""
""Hit by car, no health insurance?""
I was hit by a car, no major damage, just pain in right leg, but nothing broken. My health insurance just expired, can I bill the person who hit me Health's Insurance? I dunno? Help?""
Texas driver got speeding ticket in Washington state? Will my insurance know it?
While on a business trip I got a speeding ticket (5 over limit) in Washington state. I live in Texas and my license is issued by Texas. If I pay this ticket, ticket says it will go on my driving record. I assume they will send it to Tx. In that case, would my insurance rate increase because of this out-of-state speeding ticket? I am ok with paying the ticket, but I don't want to see my insurance increase. What are my options? Should I hire a traffic lawyer in WA to get rid of the ticket? Again, I live in Tx! Any re ommendations for me to get this issue resolved without insurance getting the ticket info.""
""Someone hit my car, do I have to report to my insurance company risking the rate increase?""
Few months ago somebody hit my rental car in their rental car during vacation. Other party's fault, he admitted, police report confirms this is his fault. Both me and the other party were insured. The other party seems to be reasonable. Now I have a repair bill, few thousands. I am reluctant to report this to my insurance company, since I heard over and over again that even though it's not my fault my rate can and probably will still go up (read here if you don't believe http://www.carinsurancecomparison.com/does-your-auto-insurance-go-up-if-someone-hits-your-car). I think this is ridiculous, but that's the way how things are. So is it possible, and is it a good idea that I contact the other party insurance myself without involving my insurance since my case is a clear cut case? Are there any pitfalls that I should be aware of?""
Is a Pontiac Grand Am considered a sports car?
Want to know if it'll be a higher insurance cost..... Thanks. :3
How much does your insurance go up after a dui?
my husband got a dui about 3 years ago! it took forever to actually get a court hearing.. and he didn't even loose his lisence till a year ago, now that hes about to get it back, i'm wondering how much extra the insurance will be now... It was his first offense, lowest reading on the breathalizer.. and we live in pa, if that matters...""
Cheapest Car Insurance For 18 yr old?
Trying to find CHEAP car insurance. I only need liability coverage, i own it out right. Anyone know any companies with good deals for 18 yr old drivers? thanks!""
Looking for some cheap full coverage car insurance.?
Looking for some cheap full coverage car insurance.?
Health insurance for kids?
Health insurance for kids?
What's the best car insurance for a 20 year old female?
Hello! I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for car insurance policies. I'm a 20 year old female, have had my license for 3+ years, never been in an accident. Could you give me an average monthly rate for insurance for a modest car (think college student income)? Either from personal experience or general knowledge? Thanks so much!""
Whats a ball park price on car insurance for.......?
18 year old, not married, perfect driving record, in Georgia, one car, and only me being insured..... not sure about the make of the car yet haven't decided what I want. I'm planning on buying a new car and paying for it WITHOUT MY PARENTS HELP!!! Around how much would that cost me per month?""
Volvo- insurance costs and maintenance?
I'm thinking of buying a used Volvo. Anyone know anything about maintenance costs or the insurance costs?
Cheapest operating cost for motorcycle/moped/scooter?
What make and model will get you down the road the cheapest, but not necessarily the quickest? I am also asking that you factor in basic maintenance like oil changes, tires, etc along with insurance. Explain what you know.""
Best insurance policy for girl child?
I have two daughters of 17 and 13 years age. Is there any insurance policy I can now join for these girls for their studies and marriage? thank you
Car insurance problem??? what can I do?
hello I been paying my car insurance for years know the day I had a car accident (which I am 100% not guilty) I notice that the vin # on my car was not the same vin # on the insurance I was paying my insurance made the correct change and did respond with my coverage but I don't think is fare for me to had been paying so many years for the wrong car what can I do? can I sew them or make any legal thing to get back my money for irresponsibility and there mistake? they said it was my fault for not checking the documents but we all know that when we open a car insurance policy we bring all our documents in including the car title and they type it in . please answer if you only know the answer this is not a place to be playing around and not answering right to be earning points only THANK YOU
How do i go about getting sr-22 insurance?
i live in new mexico, and i'm sure it varies a little form state to state, but can you tell me the process you went through and possibly what kind of increase in insurance rates im looking at?""
If i take an online drivers ed what will it do to the price of my car insurance?
The insurance companys told me that my insurance would be cheaper if i take the actual driving class. but will it still be as cheap if i do the class online?
What is the cost of the insurance for the car i want ?
I want a Suzuki Ignis 1.5 sport im just about to start driving wants the insurance going to cost ?
Whats the catch with new cars and zero down?
East coast honda has zero down and 259$ a month on brand new accord. Could someone explain how this would work. Do you need a high credit score. I'm 23 y/o I've never gotten a ticket or in a accident in the 5 years I've been driving. So hopeful that would help with insurance. Im in school full time and work part time and make about 10k a year. It has a 36 month leadership purchase plan. My car died I just have a year left in school. So i guess I could basically lease it for 3 years and keep it if i like it after then.  http://www.eastcoastcars.net/index.htm
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/costco-life-insurance-quote-mabel-michaelson/"
0 notes
jeffxjustin · 6 years
Text
whatever
its not new year yet but i got compelled to write this thing up. primarily bec im very unstable right now due to the frappe i drank around 10 [i dont really know how much caffeine content it has but whatever im palpitating rn]
this year taught me the other side of the world. or another side of the world. i got to see firsthand the things that i only hear. i got to do things i might have imagined. honestly im a pretty lax person. as much as i want to move around and learn new things [for real, im not joking], ive got this other side of getting contented with what i have. and that’s what i am before 2017. dont mistake me though, i still has that tendency of being contented with my current life. but that’s just boring and so my other self kicks in. i cant stand stale and boring things. /maybe thats why i got consistency probs with the things i do/
2017 abused my other self. this year.i learned how to be organized, how to deal with multiple fronts. i need to be mentally fine since i got four orgs, and three of them im handling. and honestly, im handling them in a bad shit manner. im the current KLYN head and i cant fully commit to it since im also an executive in two other orgs [yea this is where i say i envy a/mrie’s skills]. kinda doing fine with LAYB since we got ppl and we got money to run it, and i performed quite a bit fine with PLSS. i still underperformed though, as i need to manage my time with the other orgs while maintaining a fine academic performance. i joined CNS bec i know it’ll boost my knowledge. 
i failed to achieve at least an honor roll for the past two semesters. that’s bec last last sem i was too stressed to focus on acads while doing work. it was also my first time doing REAL org work. and so being new to the surroundings, i struggled. managed to ace some subjects, but that’s it. this second semester, the combined struggles of the four organizations made my acad time less and less. i knew in myself i can ace the subjects 107, 114 and SOSC4 but again, when i return home, i was too tired to read the required readings since im doing administrative work from organizations. [not to mention i became the educ head of ORCC. stressful but i really enjoyed that work for real]
im not ranting bec these things gave me stress. yes it was fucking stressful and im ready to throw the shit away but hey, gotta appreciate the things happened. if not for all of these, im still a shit of a person [ey, im still a shit guy 2000 but i kno i got better]. all of the other work seemed pretty easy as i steered my work and acads properly on the second half of the last sem. however im not contented. i need to perform better. i know i still need to be bette e ee e e r e r e r r r 
bloop
hey. what for. better for what. stfu. purposeless
shit, shut up.
okay. im fine haha im back. so yea, i need to be better. esp on the KLYN. former head mite be judging me rn for handling it badly we had no proper outputs when she left. [hi, im sorry babawi ako] so my task is to make KLYN better, and i got plans already. also, i need to be better with PLSS. although i got really great database, i still lack proper things. but ofc i had it already planned too. also with LAYB. i had planned everything WHICH I NEVER DID BEFORE 2017. cool shit 
and also, my crit thinking got revamped. winks- gonna thank my profs and closest circle for it.
so im gon thank everyone who helped me achieved whatever i am rn. still basic uncultured boi ppl know but i get to improve at least. actually the catalyst for this change is me liking a/mrie ahaha if not for her i wont join KLYN. if not for her constant nudgings on doing work ill never learn the administrative skills i have rn, although it was subpar vs hers. so hi thanks for everything ur the plot twist of my 2017 haha. ill always be grateful on ur help, even if u didnt intend it, maybe haha.
thanking my profs esp mayor, zaldy and yvan. these guys taught me well. if not for them, im still in the dirt of theory. 
thanking KLYN ppl and my tibak friennds. really understanding circle. great friends. 
thanking LAYB ppl. i knew i suck on poetry bt when i got commended on my poem for her bday, i knew i improved [although i still wonder if she liked that. well whatever au fait lang naman ata nagdala don] 
thanking my twin althea. we are twins bec we know each other so well plus we r both sagi virgo peeps and so we pretty much relate to almost everything /almost bec we dont have the same music taste, movie shit and ofc lovelife lol/. thanking u bec u taught me how to act on certain situations. u r always there when i say to myself ‘ey god im such a pussy im stupid when will i stop being a pussy’ or whatever. u contributed to my growth as a person.  
finally, thanking the Freehunters. plus mervin. these guys quenched my thirst for knowledge. this is my closest circle. we tried to make ourselves better. look at us now. look at me now. friends, di na ko bobo dahil sainyo haha. my crit skills vastly improved. our friendship had ups and downs and we tried to maintain our circle as possible. remember we aint perfect. i know were kinda broken as of now but we are still here. cheers, best of the best. 
sorry if im too slow to change but i kno im accomplishing things. and thats better than none. but that doesnt stop there. i want more e e eee e e   e   
bloop
want more for huh now i laugh 
shit shut up. 
0 notes
spaceslouie · 7 years
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1. I just recently following your blog. And I find that we have same opinion for the most part, or from your tags anyway. This by no means that you’d agree with me but can I share my opinion with you. Like I think that so many people have been too critical about his solo works. We really dont know anything. I feel like, Louis have been so appreciative about the opportunity he got, but it looks like we as fan cant even give him a chance. What if he make do with what he got. What if all this was..
2. the only thing on his hand. He said it himself, limited people to work with. Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it. Its reality. That doesnt mean Louis dont deserve it. And people tend to forget, what you find rewarding could
3. be different from others. We want the best for him, and thats just it.. Why does it needs to be by the other 1D guys standard. I’m really emotional talking about Louis. Like, I want to respect what he do. I dont know the struggle he faced. This is the guy who hates their merch, their early music. I feel like the fandom so quick to talk but rarely listen. I dont claimed to know him, but I feel that Hes grateful for this opportunity. And I take my cue from him for the life HE live. thankyou :)
wow i . . got an ask! sorry it took me a while to answer this babe (depending on when u sent it) i dont come on this blog alot, i kinda just made a tumblr as an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations and to have a place to talk about louis lol
anyways i think we do have pretty similar feelings about the way things are going - mostly mine are just summed up by ‘idk what to think but i love louis and his music’ lol 
To be real tho, i’ve been a 1D fan since i was 12, in 2011, and i was a larrie from like 2012 to pretty much a few months ago (not that im an ‘anti’ now or anything, i just dont kno what to think). For most of my time as a 1D fan (and especially a larrie) the culture w/ us has been, for better or worse, to hyper-analyze and doubt (for lack of better words) everything we’re given and told. Tbh, since i changed my perspective a few months ago (mostly bc of solo!harry), ive pretty much just been constantly reevaluating everything ive known for the past 5/6 years and i really just have pretty much NO idea what to think, whatsoever. 
When it comes to solo!louis, ive just been trying to take it as it comes. key word is trying, bc 5/6 years of having a rock-solid idea of the “”truth”” (our ideas about the boys, management, their relationships, etc) is alot to overcome when u try to be objective. 
When u say that ppl have been too critical of louis and his stuff, im not really sure which ppl u mean or if u just mean in general - ive definitely seen some ppl who seem to be critical just for the sake of it, or bc they actually dont like louis, which, ya, thats definitely too critical. But for some of the ppl being critical, it seems like theyre coming from the same place i was before i changed my perspective - if i hadnt been so put-off by solo!harry, i probly would still be just as dedicated to the fandom “”truth”” and i would be critical of solo!louis like i was/we were of everything else. 
Basically, at this point, i think its just habit for alot of ppl to be critical and cynical. Or, even more, its generally more comfortable (especially when weve been telling ourselves for 5+ years that we know the “truth”) to be critical (in an all-knowing way like when ppl say “those stunts are so transparent” or something) than to admit that theres alot we dont kno. Or to admit that louis hasnt had the opportunities we thought he would have/we think he deserves, and theres not really anything to do about it.
Are they right to be critical? I honestly totally dont kno. But basically im done being critical just bc other ppl are - if something strikes me as wrong and worth being critical of, right off the bat, then ill criticize it. But if everything seems ok to me and i have no reservations and i see someone else complaining and making a big deal about it, i guess thats how i decide when someone is being too critical. Thats when it seems to me like theyre being critical just for the sake of it or bc thats what theyre used to. I think its important in our culture (1D fan/louie culture), at least for me in the place im in now, to just trust ur own instinct instead of looking to others to see if things are good or not.
At first i was a little confused by ur ask(s) bc it seems a little contradictory - u talk about how louis didnt get the best opportunities, and then u say ppl are being too critical. But i think i understand (maybe im projecting tho, bc this is how i feel about it). I think what i (and u, if im understanding ur ask rite) am feeling is that ppl want to place blame - we all want the best for louis, and we’re upset that it doesnt seem that he got it. We all love and appreciate louis, so it can be hard to see how other ppl wouldnt and how he wouldnt get all the opportunities we think he deserves. So we go off on his team, simon cowell, his record label, the other boys, etc., and we criticize them and everything louis puts out bc its through them/connected to them. 
But it really all comes down to the fact that regardless of what we think louis deserves, we all know that what he gets probly wont match up to that. Youre rite, he literally said that he didnt get that many opportunities, and we have to accept that. No matter how much we love and admire him, we have to realize that for various reasons the rest of the world doesnt (at least not yet). He wasnt the most famous member of 1D, or the one pushed as the most talented, and the fact that he has a unique voice makes him kindof an acquired taste. 
We have to realize that he is, like u said, doing the best w what hes got. We dont have the power to give him more, so from my perspective im just enjoying what we get and supporting it in every way i possibly can. Bc thats what being a fan is about - enjoying what u get, and supporting it so u continue to get it. We can wish he had more opportunities available, and even ask for what we want from him in polite and lighthearted ways - like tweeting him about his album, or nominating him for awards (like teen choice and stuff), or posting/tweeting about how we wish we had a video/photoshoot/etc as long as its nice and not demanding. But ya basically we are not in a position to give him opportunities so our only job (if we want it, which, being a louie, i do) is to support what he puts out. 
You said: “Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it.” Basically, i totally agree w this and i think its totally ok to just enjoy what we get from louis w/o constantly worrying about how were getting it/what we ‘should’ be getting.
I am frustrated, and always have been, that louis doesnt get what the other boys do, but thats just the way it is. We have to accept that there isnt always someone to blame - for various reasons, louis has had less opportunities than the other boys, and theres nothing we can do about it. I would even go as far to say its not necesarily an injustice - like u said, he isnt the other boys, so we cant expect him to have the same situation as them. All we can do is support him and his music as much as we can/want to. 
anyway im SO sorry for turning this ask into a literal essay, i guess i had a lot to say and honestly im not sure how much of it is coherent or even on topic, it took me like an actual hour to write this all out and when i reread it… it didnt make as much sense as it did in my head lol. anyway i do think we hav some similar feelings and stuff and i really apreciate hearing ur thoughts! I hope we both get to enjoy bty (im so fuckin excited!!! from the teasers hes shared already its gonna be SO GOOD!!!) and i hope more good things happen for louis! tysm for sharing ur thoughts w me! 💙 
0 notes
aitian · 3 years
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5:43 am 12/29/2020
end of year.
feels right to revisit how i looked this yr on photobooth. most ppl only knew me through my webcam. i dont have many thoughts abt who i am or what im doing these days. mostly playing video games with alice. we smoked together a few days ago & i still feel like im in deadtime. like maybe i cant remember the important things im supposed to from the past. & rly existential lately. the panic is just in my throat, thinking abt how fast time is going & how there is no way back. i think there is a carceral logic behind the entrapment that all us depressed & anxious kids feel.. like the inadequacy of being alive, the failure to feel like a beautiful future is unfolding. im not sure anyone feels that way these days, & maybe thats why they r all holding on so desperately. all empires fall. im so grateful to be able to feel moms body & be her child these days. i just wanna lay my head on someones chest & feel good, warm, soft, coarse fabrics. also feeling anxious abt my classes, turning in the same essay that isnt rly an essay to all of my profs. oops. it was rly the best i could manage. vestigial body... i will finish writing smth i feel proud abt one day, & it will be written to myself. like this. 
idk when the last time i wrote was, but maybe i wanna talk abt my relationships. feels like i got a hard reset on my brain by smoking with alice. oh god. anyway i havent been talking to sherry & adele recently bc i just dont feel right around them. in november remembering again what it felt like to feel so unwelcome all the time, feel that energy & those manners replicated by them toward me.. ik i should just talk to people frankly abt the things im uncomfortable with at home now that i have so much practice doing it but i just dont want to. somehow it feels like they should all just know, that they are living alongside me all this time in various ways even if i am not saying things to them, & our actions that connect us in relationship are felt by them too. & there is some part of refusal to see the relationship for what it is. im not begging for some trans pity or for commitment.. those kinds of relationship arent real. what is real is wanting to spend time with me, wanting to experience some sort of exchange between bodies, wanting to walk toward near horizons. feels like everyone who listens & agrees when i speak just does it to be amicable. there are only so many ways i can reassure myself that ppl understand me for who i am, even when they are constantly being led astray to hurt me. like alice saying its good for doctors to have objective views of their patients, outside of any other relationship. mom saying that she trusted our teachers to teach us what we needed. getting weirdly gendered messages from friends at home, & never asked in good faith about how i feel. its rly so shitty that even questions like how was the day or what ru thinking rn or whats on the horizon r things they want me to ask, then dont want to answer, & make fun of bc they feel awkward saying anything. so stupid. its this kind of shit that holds me back from letting my desires be known, these rituals of repression & shame. & i always wanna hear ppls desires & then immediately regret asking to know that our relationship is in direct conflict with their utopias. so stupid.
today after dinner, which was in the late evening, mom & alice & i did some short yoga stuff & then we did silly lion dancing. im still sore. i stretched out everything that felt sort afterward. anyway, felt good to be goofy & sweat & breathe hard. 
what im feeling abt this year: - vestigial body x1000 --> dark room, heart beating fast, waiting & squeezing. theres that episode of midnight gospel when the dying dog/reindeer lady talks abt giving birth & dying, like squeezing & tensing & on no this moment will never end & then releasing & coming to rest & then all over again. & that is what i think abt every time i feel in panic now, or in a deep place of fear. there r some pains that cant be escaped, & they dont need to be. they r felt all the same.  - i made a new friend through q&a who is a kid im supposed to b mentoring. it just means that all relationships are reciprocal (i dont like that word either, but they r never simply one way or transactional) & we met every thursday during the school yr. i prepared short stories for us to read & writing prompts, & we wrote abt stuff.  - i just cant remember. all i remember abt this summer was going to stone valley with mom, feeling the sunlight & my tiredness (in an enveloping selse, toward my body & my spirit), playing games w sherry, playing some piano, & working on that fire emblem romhack. feels like the year went by so quickly. like i just had my birthday a few days ago, & now the new year means it is coming again soon. sometimes whole lives are vestigial. what is gruesome & magnificent abt that is that those vestigial bodies are hard to kill without clear intentions & collective effort. what sucks is the entrapment. i have been feeling this cant remember feeling in a bigger way, toward what my life was like before college, toward who i was in college now that i am so removed, & even more toward the kid whose world blossomed into smth they desperately desired & felt afraid of. middle school me would be horrified. maybe an even younger me would be proud, feel in awe or struck by the rightness of home. - i want to remember mom. the way she walks around with her hands in her pockets. 帅吗。:). how we skip/gallop sideways to avoid the wind on our walks, & she bounces when she walks like a silly kid. i love her. unruly gender, stubbornness of feelings, failure failure failure is why we r hurt but also why we r rly still allowed to be here. thinking abt moms essay, moving away from her grandma, thinking she would live together again someday. thinking abt how im home this yr, in a way i thought maybe i would never be ever again. its so cruel to leave love behind for the sake of a ritualized life i could never participate in. i wont do it. i just wont.
some feelings abt the coming year - i want to meet someone like myself & fall in love. deeply, with myself, in relationship. i wanna have sex too, & feel held in my being alive. i wanna be allowed to enjoy my body in even more regards like wearing short sleeves & feeling the sun on my arms free from dysphoria, existing in public not noticeably & feeling the evaporation of racial tension, waking up with that feeling of possibility, like i want to be alive & eat food & go outside & do those things in my body that remind me that i am a part of how the rest of this world is growing. i wanna be held in that knowing, together, of wellness & movement toward everything that means we matter to each other.  - playing video games has been so important to this vestige & i dont want it to remain that way. i wanna collect stuff & grow stuff in real life, & grow myself & my relationships too. its not living when its the mourning of the freedom i should have always had & should have every moment i am continuing to life unfreely. - i wanna do some stuff to express gratitude to the ppl i have continued some sort of relationship with. feel bad abt how no one has emailed me back in more than a month now. maybe wanna do a q&a chapbook or yearbook. complex feelings bc i am so not in relationship with the ppl i wanna care abt. it sucks. part of that is letting go of guilt too, & being real with myself abt how much responsibility is on the other body to make me feel okay in our relationships. its rly not my fault that, u kno.. everyone is used to making someone like me feel like shit. sad that my most continuous relationships this yr r with professors. those dumb feelings of obligation r killer. i guess im grateful to be legible in some ways, while feeling the intensely awkward unwillingness to be real abt our positions relative to each other. i think lots more happening in this regard in the coming months w classes, blk atlantic ecologies, maybe smth w prof lee. & sometimes thinking abt what grad school would mean. - i wanna feel slow, i wanna feel like myself, i wanna feel free. some feelings r sitting in the garden on my own in the spring, planting some stuff. thinking abt what it might grow into, coming back again & again. the sun ducks behind clouds & comes back out, & the world feels so light & passing by. & time feels forever, like i have so much patience to dream & breathe & observe. this is one of my early memories, watching shadows on the concrete/sidewalks at preschool, feeling warmer then colder then warmer again. i also wanna feel the kind of collectivity that makes me know we all insist on home. i want it to branch beyond this home that i know. & also mean that i will not throw this away. im thinking abt how to exist intimately with more than one person at once. it is smth i will learn as it comes into my life.
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wannasoftimagine · 7 years
Text
park jihoon as your older friend
(( AS REQUESTED! // jihoon scenario where you're 2 years younger than him so you think he only sees you as a little sister but he confesses to you when he thinks you're gonna date someone else bc he's scared of losing you??? this is lowkey rly specific but THANK YOU!!! ))
ure used to hearing ppl talk abt how young jihoon is, and how hes so so so cute
of course, u agree with him
everyone does tbh
still, it makes u feel a little upset bc it seems like everyone who says those things are older than him, with jobs and life experience and history and Fancy Stuff like tht
so compared to them, u feel like a toddler
even tho ure only 2 yrs younger than jihoon, it feels like theres 100 yrs between u
it doesnt help tht jihoon is always going on radio shows and reality programs, acting cute whenever someone older so much as looks his way
still
u know u should prob just feel grateful tht ure close friends, since most ppl dont even get tht far
but sometimes u wonder if itd be better if u werent close, bc now he only sees u as a little sibling to take care of
u wish u could say it wasnt true, but everything he does is exactly like an older brother
he dotes on u and watches over u, but instead of acting like a caring boyfriend, he just seems like someone babysitting his little sibling and u haTE IT
ure not even sure how long uve liked him romantically, but its like whenever u remember how he used to treat u even when u first met, ure stuck thinking abt how he mustve seen u
after all, who can look at a kid tht used to cry whenever their parents went to work and go “oh yeah theyre cute i like them a lot” ???
not jihoon
esp when hes already way out of ur league to begin with
as u get older, ur feelings for jihoon dont completely fade
there r times when theyre easier to ignore, sure, but its impossible to think tht theyre actually gone
whenever u guys make eye contact over dinner at a fast food restaurant, he beams at u in a way tht cant possibly be taken as platonic
ur heart is beating way too fast for u to lie to urself
anyways
u try and move on by befriending other ppl and even trying to date some other ppl
of course tht rlly doesnt work out
u turn down almost anyone tht u could possibly go out with, and even when ur friends try and set u up with other ppl, u can never make it past the first blind date
(ure too busy comparing the strangers to jihoon and watching them all fall short)
u mention some of the blind dates to jihoon
at first its bc ure hoping he’ll get jealous and confess
but as more time goes on, hes still just as supportive in his answers, and u realize tht theres no use in hoping when he clearly doesnt feel the same way
then a new guy transfers to ur school, and hes vaguely attractive and smart and funny and u get along well enough
he asks u out after school one day, and ure like why not? so u accept a first date bc u might as well give it a shot
its the first date tht ure on where u try not to think so much abt jihoon
it works for the most part, but u still find ur mind drifting off and wondering what jihoons up to
when the guy excuses himself to take a phone call from one of his friends, u manage to text jihoon to check up on him
u banter back and forth, and u cant help the way ure grinning down at ur phone with every text he sends u
at some point he asks where u are, and u realize wHOOPS guess who didnt tell jihoon tht u were having a date tonight
...
u
cmon dude whats up w that
anyways so u explain to him tht ure on a date w the new guy in ur class
and jihoons response is surprisingly short and clipped
its just a quick “oh” and ure like “???” bc hes never responded quite like tht before
so u ask him if smthns up
u see the typing bubble appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and so on
eventually it just disappears completely and he doesnt start typing again and ure even more confused than u were before
after what seems like forever, he texts u to ask if ure having a good time
u tell him tht u think u are
honestly tho, ure not too sure bc now its impossible for u to think of anything other than him
the guy comes back with an apology and a smile, and ure forced to tuck ur phone away and try not to be too obviously distracted for the rest of the evening
tht proves to be WAY TOO HARD
the entire night ure picking apart the way the guy cuts his food (jihoon looks cute doing literally anything), how he gives u a smile when u meet eyes (it doesnt look as genuine and bright as jihoons), how jihoon wouldnt even take u to a restaurant like this (u both feel more comfortable somewhere lowkey and relaxed)
if the guy notices, he doesnt say anything
at the end, he just drops u off back at ur home and tells u he had a nice time, and “maybe we could do this again?”
all u can do is choke out a “maybe” in response before ure hurrying inside and scrambling to check ur phone
jihoon hasnt rlly texted u since u last checked, and u can feel ur heart drop a little in its chest
u send him a quick msg, asking what hes up to and if he wants to facetime or smthn bc ure done with the date, and hes quick to agree
right before u call him, u see his text saying tht “i need to talk to u abt smtn too so its good timing”
ure freaking out a little bc maybe hes going to tell u abt his own s/o now tht uve told him abt ur date and u can feel ur hands shaking as the connection loads
once ure in ur room, u manage to make out his tired (but still glowing) features on ur phone screen
u greet each other with half-stilted questions, and u cant help but wonder why ure both so awkward w each other
i mean. obv u know why u are
but ure like ? why is HE acting so weird
and after a few more moments of tense silence, u finally ask him what he wanted to talk abt
somehow even thru the phone screen u can see his face turn bright red
and u would think abt how cute it was if u werent also thinking tht u mustve been right, hes dating someone else, and u can feel ur eyes start to well up w tears bc uve always known tht he didnt like u back, but this time its so painfully obvious
thts when he clears his throat like “um,, y/n,,,, we’ve known each other for awhile and i kno ure kinda young but,,,,,,”
and somehow he hasnt noticed tht ure having a mental breakdown as he gets closer and closer to saying what he wanted to tell u
“anyways y/n,,, i rlly like u so please dont go out w that guy again and mb go out w me instead??”
which. WHAT
ure literally shellshocked and hes trying to explain on the other end like “i mean u dont have to if u dont want to i just wanted to tell u and-”
its honestly precious tbh
u barely manage to cut him off but ure still a mess of emotions so u cant rlly talk properly
ure pretty sure tht u end up saying the equivalent of a keyboard smash,,,
he quiets down tho, and as ure trying to figure out want u want to say, he just looks at u w this rlly cute earnest expression and ur heart MELTS
eventually u manage to choke out tht u like him and now its his turn to get surprised
“WAIT ARE U SERIOUS”
he whisper-screams the whole thing, bc he doesnt want to actually scream and hurt ur ears but hes still freaking out and cant contain everything hes feeling
all u can do is nod and grin into ur hands and hes like “uGH now i wish i could tell u in person” but hes acting all soft and shy and tbh u dont think either of u could handle it if u were in the same room right now
still
ure both blushing and giggling and u feel so so relieved its kinda embarrassing
but he manages to cough out tht he’s rlly rlly happy tht u like him too, and “lets meet up soon? please?”
and who are u to deny him smthn like tht
(esp when uve been dreaming abt going on a date w him since forever ago)
eventually u have to end the call
but u both go to sleep that night with ur phones nearby, smiling even as u drift off to sleep
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wannasoftimagine · 7 years
Text
imagine park woojin as your classmate
project partners to dating partners :’)
(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))
okay so ure a fan of wanna one
who isnt tbh
and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)
u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u
anyways
its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online
like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea
and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance
as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous
also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him
little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute
;))
okay but anyways
u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn
u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times
(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)
but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned
bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned
of course, it’s a partner project
it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random
unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners
so u have no idea who ure paired up with
ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember
everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh
and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad
u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library
even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on
so. all excuses aside u fall asleep
prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk
but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep
ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side
u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird
u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy
so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat
as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before
in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”
u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol
somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice
then ure like WAIT A SECOND
ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real
so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him
eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free
u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS
ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment
anyways
ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up
only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing
u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back
u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u
its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate
and u KNOW its not a date
u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???
but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework
u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out
anyways skip to the next afternoon
u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks
and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest
hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally
as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date
u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud
he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas
he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen
its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck
anyways
neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart
ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field
it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again
ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy
u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions
u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business
still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project
of course, all things must come to an end
so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives
and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again
bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore
after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class
so as ure freaking out over this
he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it
and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?
obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling
when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in
u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two
woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye
u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh
u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out
but anyways
u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done
a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila
its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim
u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed
but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too
so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards
it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day
it still feels like a dream tbh
but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can
most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person
this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life
but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself
as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed
it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call
but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED
and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something
eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good
and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about
he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it
but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”
even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting
u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses
finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???
and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”
and. WHAT.
he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly
“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”
and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???
n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious
but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”
n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy
honestly u both just make each other super happy
when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other
both physically and with ur words
he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same
esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys
u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most
honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch
still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world
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