#i csnt even tell ppl

[milf-propaganda]

<3

#i feel so numb #i wanna cry #but i just can’t #like all my worse fears #feel like they’re coming to life #pms brain wrecks me #i always #feel so uncared for #and so unloved #i always feel like #im caring more for other people #than they do me #i wanna shake it so bad #i feel difficult to love #i hate it #i hate this feeling #i csnt even tell ppl #how i wanna be loved #bc i don’t know #and it feels like no one would even make the effort to try #i just wanna accept #at face value ppl do care about me!!! #why is that hard for my brain to understand

[lottalove01]

rant <3

#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc #she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities #+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family #so this shouldnt surprise her this much #why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too #she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh #and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith #but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion #w an agnostic no less #ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu??? #and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable #especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to #expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends #anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable #shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying #cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird #also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me #why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life #maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#todsy the universe was kind to us ad we didnt have to collect samples on our transects so we finished after only like a couple hours #we had to do a lot of getting around on ATVs so we got back around 4.30 or something #the drive up was really pretty. lots of trees and streams bc we were going up in elevation it was v different #the site was also v pretty. lots of wildflowers. however. whatever was tossing out lots of pollin was murdering my face #i had snot literally pouring out of my face. it was crazy. it was like i was crying from my nose #sneezing all the time and my throat was tight if i walked to one side of the transects so i think it was the pine trees #my nose is so raw now and my lips are like horrifically chapped #like ive got that horrible sicky feeling u get when ur nose has running too much #like down the back of my throat. blah. #sigh... 2 sampling days left and then 2 dats if traveling #ive got a bad feeling abt tomorrow's site. hopefully im wrong #my boss keeps implying that i want to kill her and i csnt tell if its just bc that's what ppl say abt non talkative ppl or if im #just giving off horrible vibes. could b both. its so frustrating tho. like im not plotting anything. i just dont have anything to say rn #and irrationally i feel really guilty for not working on anything when i get back. which is insane bc im physical and mentality exhausted #but i just get back and draw whole time and not in a way that's even satisfying bc half my brain is still on high alert bc there r ppl #around. i sat outside and cried for like a minute bc im too aware of them to even have a proper cry #like i just keep looking at the windows like who's gonna see me? hhhh exhausting #and i think my boss has to finish a poster tonight and its 11 now and shes still in the room on the computer #am i gonna have to stay up until she finishes bc i get freaked out by ppl being awake while im asleep? maybe. i guess we'll find out #and i swear if i bleed thru these fucking sweatpants tonight im gonna lose it #fuck. i shoulf habe put on running shorts when i got ready for bed #now im stuck here 😑 #unrelated

[ace-with--a-mace]

literally heard the most depressing news ever omg

#wdym people work for over a 3rd of their lives??? and ppl can barely find time to fully enjoy their offtime?? and have ~20 years to retire?? #assuming they had enough money saved up to match the current prices of existing?? like thats so fucked up why even do it brah #idk like i knew shit was fucked up but shit is actually fucked up?? i havent even graduated yet i csnt imagine my life 5 years from now #and theyre telling me to figure out how im gonna get the degrees that cost 100k each to get my forever job just so i can be depressed debted #idk guys we may have to start assassinating these leaders these laws gotta go we needa start over we lost the original plot of the movie #l speaks #shut up l #ranting in the tags because i can

[zerobaseonefics]

i am so so sorry for not being active here but i had a lot of stress because of university shit etc (i still do but not as much as i did last week) (and this week)

you should adopt me as a sister frfr!!

yes about hanbin: he said that you both are already planning the wedding??? you should have told me… #betrayed

and i took my nails off (if thats how you say it😟) and they were no and i had to cut my natural long nails 😔😔

no cuz i lost a lot money now on enhypen albums (i love them sm wtf its so sudden but after i found out that they were in poland (i found out sbout this during they were there) my enhypen fangirl era came back and yk i bought the dark blood album i dont remmeber what version but its dark blue and i pulled sunghoon and sunoo(AGAIN) but i wanted heeseung and jake #depressed (i got jay post card tho) and i csnt find people who sell the original photocards☹️ LIKE GIRL IM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY ABOUT HEEJAYKE LIKE OMFG NOOO NAHH WTF WHAT::;;;;::;;:::&&&&

how did the macarons taste like (good bad mid) ?!??,,? i will buy you a whole macarons factory just so you csn eat them everyday for free 😋😋

DONT CALL ME A ROOKIE!! its the first time it happened (taking a nap and then not being able to sleep again) like i take naps almost everyday because they are so lovely😔😔 but yes no school no university no anything for a long time😋 (just work) (like 20€ per week) (im teaching 2 people english so not a real job tho)

anyway my brother (6 months old) (literally 18 years age difference💀) is so annoying but so cute like bro i hate him sometimes and then day after i love him the most😐😐😐

oh and my hesrt was broken by a guy… he has the same name as i do (unisex name) we were 8-9 years at the same school and he had a crush on me 5 years ago but i didnt have a cursh on him back then so i told him that we are just friends and now since 2-3 years i started to have a crush on him but now i found out that he has a crush on deomeone else (this is mainly the reason why im so delulu rn) (i was always delulu but this is literally getting so out of hand) i also started kind of disliking zb1 i mean not that i dont like them anymore its just im not keeping up with their content now as much as i did like bro my ult groups are always changing (once it was shinee then svt then got7 then nct then gidle then enhypen then txt then svt again then treasure then zb1 and xikers and now its new jeans, le sserafim, xikers, ateez and enhypen (just that i dont keep up eith xikers and ateez content that much)😐😐😐😐 get me some help like i literally love them for a time then lose interesy in them and find another group and then its repeating all the time ykyk omg im so no

i understand bro i went through it myself so don't worry 😭 how's it going? i have no idea how you choose your college in germany so if you wanna talk abt it i'm interested 🤭 hope you'll be able to go wherever you want

bitch you're already adopted ‼️ i've always wanted a little sister

yk i didnt know how to tell you this cuz i'm a bit shy..... but he told you now so you know!! i'm not fully a betrayer!!

OH THEY WERE NATURAL??? the length was so pretty i thought it was not. it's a shame you had to cut it

enha have me on a chokehold fr this cb pure you don't understand 😀 they're also my ult but i've been not keeping up as much as before with their content. this album was just soooo good and now i'm in this enhypen shit forever bro like that's it they got my interest back

nOOOOOO 💔 BRO IM SURE YOU'LL FIND PPL WITH THE ORIGINAL IT'S A BIG GROUP IT'S EASIER

girl the macarons were awful. too sugary (i should've expect this from algeria they love getting diabetes...) </3 i felt like i was eating blocks of sugar there was no other taste i wanted to cry ok. waiting for you to buy me a macaron factory or else im gonna have to marry someone who makes them properly.

this may seem like 'not a real job' but even this is very important on your resume when you'll look for work later! it's still a great experience

that's every little brothers 🙏🏼 i have two and there's days i wanna crush them to the ground and days i wanna give them everything </3 but the age difference between you two is so big!! you know what's cool about that? you can design that kid 🤭 you can teach him how to be a good person, give him good taste, everything! that's the best thing about younger siblings

hE HAS ANOTHER CRUSH NOW?? HOW COULD HE MOVE ON FROM THE PURE??? nah he has no idea what he's missing rn 👹 don't be heartbroken over... a man 😧 okay?? move on too >:( he's no heejake >:(

ABOUT THE ULT THING. i have no idea how ppl keep the same ult for such a long time like.... i mean mine are pretty much stable too but yk there's time where you lost interest as you get into a new group. i always end up coming back to my ult but there are period yk. when i see people holding fanbases for example i'm amazed cuz how do you diligently wake up everyday and do everything about one and onlY ONE GROUP??? AREN'T YOU TIRED??? AREN'T YOU FED UP WITH THEM AT SOME POINT???

plus my problem is i'm here for the music only 🙏🏼 i don't like the music my ult put out? honestly i'm not hyping the comeback or anything. my older sister listens to kpop and fr no matter if the song's good or not she votes on every music show, she streams the song, eveRYTHING. i don't even do all that when i like the song tbh... i think it's funny to see how everyone has a different way of stanning

#zerobaseonefics #pure <3

[mccarthymolly]

feel claustrophobic yh,hm,uh,dk,uh,,m,j,j

Is spit biowar,

Is armtesr wrong for longer arms b mk sense w visual cintrast that cd mislead or arouse ppl

Went too far

Lk saunish ourside

Nt spirit

Fd

Cant tell smoke

Onfuse

Van say pricedure

Yh edge questions so nt hope fr ppl yh,hm,ok,uh,dk,hm,

Capacity ig yh,hm,uh,no,so u not rebel,, k ,j,no,uh,ok,sry,uh,ww

Ww dk hmk khnuunk

Dishonest. I get it's fun ir funny b pls I cd get sick

Idk, nt ask, nt hip

Spirit sth,ok move on,hm,nd uh,no,

Uh,sign n no mention,weak jm,uh,dam,u too,h,i,j

Th mssg,uh ,ok yh mssg

Fnny jumping around, galliping, i can do b not as hip looking or small n fun, idk, covr room ah b judg hm yhuh dk

Wt i did or wd do in tht prsr combo

Drms, prsnzkdjd

Eh k no,dk,uh, h,

Srch, idk, fr sth, nt hv goals, wd die fr? Tht spr? Hm ww customer ok uh dk ,hm ww uh,ko,j,

Nt fght, ur nt communicating jd punish emotion

Emotional possible, jm,uh,

This combo sounds lk it b any combo ig,dk,new,hmz

Some people wondered if the dif theory was for having name on sth, but i wondered what inarticulable bits explaijed th difs,hm, phen. Some people or meaning me,uh hm, parte

Ideahm,surprise,uh,h, k j,,no,ww no,j,,j,

Nc b no,k,,

Overreverence, different than thanks, lk they're making a party/social line or battle of it, like they're disturbed or shunning or ticked or ticced if you're not too ir you are but not in same way, psy dep oj jz i dont get hm ww uh,j,l,jh,,k, hw possibel.oral time of buses,ok eh no uh bragy n l h ,plc,uh,n,k,

Spise,dk. Think if nonexi things,ok,n,oh,yh even supportive person,jm,dk , b trll,hm,kj. Kj

,k,k,,ugm

U,h,n

Wwhm,no,hw,uh,

Ww dk smell j k j

Cant rvaluate

Ohno i did the picturing, h,k,,,k,jh,o,k,

Rej system look lk dif worldview or sth, cant gv spirit b can help it maybe come out or be felt by relieving other pressures,hm,ok,n,,h,which potential, for what

Weird or rarer or maybe btr b fnnth,,k,

Bd business n inflnc n prdct w sweets uh dk hm mk j uh dk hk j, nt ask original ww dk hmk uk iuhok

No, u want me wrk so mch ww no h k j no think sth no

Epistemic followers,h,i,m,,uh,dk,hm,uh,ww,hm,

Live that, eat that,hm,

Story nt gd ha

Profs who only profess,hm, kh

Fr soc value, js say study n studied person said, or study of not studied persoj, uh, not cone bc bad judg ig, ww shy yh. Nt shr their research uh,dk,yh,uh,eh, b is that publishing then, if mostly oral, nt that texty itself lk holdijg v having own lf,m,, hk j,,ok,uh,dk,hm,uh,ok,

Oral plsr n seeing. Maybe listening or sth, not broad, trting to attract,ww, hk, , j, no hh,ih,di, j ww,jo,,juh,ww,u,,

Dk,eh,j,j,m,,

Hmww,many,hidden,uh,, k,k,

Dk,h,m,k

H,m,jwkz,

G flu b nt after event crash, js rando crash

Neutral,bd exmpl,h,,

Dk ww,,,n,j,kh,dk h j uh,3000, 30

Wd be fnny to hlp sth bfr go. Made mny n tm fr this b nw i hate u, u csnt js not charge b wd nd to help nt js apologise, dk uneth

Hm intel isnt engh info, hm, bc often unethical, misused hm, uh, n prsr when higher iqs is bad, so v hard,idk, nd to be defeated many ways ig,hm,ok,uh,mind,lf,uh,

Yh nc,h,k,o,k,

Mkng sth ok,smn, b child,uh,idk, maybe if gd, nt putting identity of ego on it, not very passive punchbag

ur saying i dont live or be in unoffensive way, u resent me,uh

Very

Sacrifice,uh,dif,hm,dk,uh,sth,uh no,h,,j,o,k,n,o,,juh dk,j,

,l,j,,j,,i,,j,,j,h,,,, ok k,n,, hm

ur combinign a w or interp w insult, like it seems this or is it this, w i hate u, verbal acting out,ok,uh,not sophisticated if see before ig,uh,ww,no,h,k,omg,k,k, jk, j,,k,i,uh,dk,k,j, ok, j, uh n,i,

#Rej #B

[haneys]

not to be mean but at rhis point whenever i see someone mention having "delusional attachments" my gag reflex activated and I throw up a bit. its always the anime boys and cartoon characters and shit it's always the kinnie 2.0 behavior where it's very obvious it's fr just kinning and these ppl use delusional attachment as a shield and bc idk its cool to be mentally unwell. why do I never hesr about the real people delusional attachments? why do I never see you all make fancy carrds with all the real life celebrities you believe to be/have personal relations with? or even better, the delusional attachments abt people around you like your family members and friends? i know why, its because these r actually ugly and not fun at all and aren't kinning lol <3 you people picked up a nonmedical term and ran with it to finally have an excuse to use ethnic names and talk about "doubles" or shit, i dont even use this term anymore because it got so run down to the ground it doesn't even mean anyhting no more since everyone claims to be DA bc they felt connected to aether ge/shin im/pact or whatever. and not to mention how everyone literwlly everyone is encouraging them. 😍 yeas such a good idea to just make a little bubble where you will dwell in your supposed delusions and receive nothing but positive feedback and never ending loop of approval and encouragement that's obviously a natural thing a person struggling with psychosis will try to achieve 😍

#vent #I guess #this isn't at anyone directly no mutuals or anyhting im just really annoyed by this #U csnt tell someone hey don't do x or whatever bc they will run out if their ugly hole and cry wah wah im delusional lt attached WAH #SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT THR FUCK UP you're not yoire just a kinnie or whatever literslly shut uppppp #especially the ppl who claim DA without having. psychosis. like ? #being delusional about real life people is ge uelly a nightmare i dont even feel like going off and describing it but it's hell #I'm so tired SO tired of people whipping out Delusional Attachment whenever they relate a bit too much to any fictional character #it's not even an actual term. like please tell me you're all aware it's not an actual medical term. #it's all psychosis just a very specific part of it but if course it'd this part that gets peeled off and smueshed into its own separate #thing. bc its very very fun to claim to have right. like you supposedly experience delusional attachments but not any other psychosis at al #then all I can say it. lmao

[ghostofcitrus]

good god ive started making ‘busy’ my key personality trait

#citrus speaks #man i just want ppl to feel bad for me and be like “’damn that’s a lot you deserve a break’ #:/ #so stupid but i’m fucking exhausted idk why i even do this to myself! #and like i don’t any to stop volunteraly bc tbh i need to do this shut #i need the money and i need the credits #but i wish i was in a position where someone i cared about could be like #dude u gotta take a fucking break #i feel like i never let myself take breaks unless someone else tells me too bc i don’t think i deserve it #like i feel like i should just keep doing more and more til i physically csnt anymore because that’s when i reach capacity #and i cant complain before then because it’s not really that much #whatever. i’m really tired. #did someone say ‘needs constant validation thst his problems are actually bad enough to realostsclly cause him the distress he’s feeling #or else he thinks he’s being too dramatic and too much of a baby and can handle more

[ghostly-punk]

-> Hbab kinda vent lol, feeling scared and icky

#ooc #the white rabbit 🐇 #tw for paranoia and auditory hallucinations?? maybe?? i cant even tell anymore #i hate jt when people joke about ppl who have paranoia thinking that governments spying kn them #they dont understand how scary it is. yoy feel watched. not alone. like someone ks staring at you from every angle kn your room and watchin #its horrible and k hatr it #theres beeping somehwere in my room and the idea that some government kr some creep is watching me wont go away #i cant even tell if jts real and i hate it for that. why vant i just be alone. i hear so many things all the time k feel like a mess #i just want silence but i csnt get that because kf this shit. im never alkne and km never okay #not whem my mind fucks with me all the damn time. i hate it. i just want to sleep for fucks sakes #jusy plesee #leave me alkne snd let me rest #im sl tired

[metrocatstudios]

SPIDERVERSE????

WHAT THE FUCK????? I LOVED IT????? THAT ANIMATION WAS GOD TIER GOOD?????

LIKE IMMA LAY DOWN SOME FIRST HAND CRITIQUE HERE *no spoilers at all k*

THATS HOW YOU DO A PROPER COMIC BOOK ADAPTATION

in comparison to the original live action Spiderman, this wipes the floor with the Live action's mop hair (imo). This animation style, design & *SHADING* were consistent. It took the comic book style & added it's own unique little details & style & made it work.

I feel this style choice was a risk worth taking. It made things feel more alive than the CGI cougar that was in the dog movie trailer.

Shout-out to the character designers & modelers & animators for making all the characters easy to read, tell who's good & bad & who was who. Thank you for not making the women sexy target baits or damsels in distress; they all actually took brutal attacks & just kept fighting. I literally have no idea who half those chars are & those designs & personalities made me want to see more of them.

SHOUT OUT TO THE FUCKIN BACKGROUNDS & SET PPL CUZ JFCCCCCC WHAT THE FUCK YALL HAD YO KEEP THAT SHIT STYLIZED & WORK I CSNT EVEN

Also, shout-out to the shader/lighting ppl. You guys had to make little lines & dots for those detailed shots.

Good movie 10/10 (for now at least. I wanna watch it again)

#spiderverse #no spoilers #GO FUCKK G WATCBB IT KOGMMGM #also how tbe hell did they do the invisibility thing. I WANNA KNOW #murk talks

[forwhomthepussypops]

Idk if this is the proof that I really am a narcissist, but im having a big mental breakdown bc I went to cut my hair and they did a shit job lmao. Ik theyll grow back in a month or 2, but I got used to loving my reflection in the mirror and now I looked at her and hated how I looked so much, and ive spent years and years and years hatinf myself, hiding my face, not looking ppl in the eyes, not going outside, bc I felt so fucking disgusting, I felt like an abomination of god, I wanted to tear my skin and burn it, I hated it so much, whats the point of doing anything if ure so ugly? And I dont want to live this again not even for a second I dont want to hate my looks again I dont want it I got used to liking the handsome bastard in the mirror and now I have to wait for the person I loved to come back and ik tjid sounds so stupid and I csnt tell anyone bc they wont understand but yeah

#personal shit #maybe its bc I looked wayyyyy more androgynous before #im p sure dysphoria plays a part in this #but a very minor onr #I guess this is me being a narcissist or struggling to love myself

[anarch-bee]

i just want to not live here but i don't think that's an option i mean I make $1000 a month which is enough to afford to move out except i'm not legally allowed to for two more month. Im saving my money for something that has been my dream to do since I was 12. and tbh i got both my jobs through family so there's a high chance of I move out i will lose my jobs. i also don't know if I'm emotionally capable of doing it like I'd prolly be like "mom im moving out" and she would be like "ur not allowed" so I just. Wouldn't?

but i fucking hate living here. imm afraid to go home most of the time i feel guilty for being alive i live in an environment of ppl who id as "far right" and discuss how they think trans ppl should be dead. im not out to any of them but im afraid to be near them. After I go out I'm afraid to go home. I'm afraid to be out cos im terrified ppl will go through my things but I'm afraid to be here bc I have to be near them I wanna not i wanna not be here I wanna be able to do shit for myself. I wanna not have to lie every time I go out. I'm not doing anything bad tbh like I just go to an lgbt youth group but that takes 19 layers of lying and paranoia and guilt and it ruins my time. like I'm there and I'm already afraid of going home and when I get home I'm sad and guilty like I am rn. idk how the fuck im supposed to be happy and okay with being alive when they think trans ppl should be killed though i don't wanna be around this shit but i can't leave idk what to do. additionally they're forcing me to go to a fuckng pro life rally. I just don't wanna be here so badly. Idk what the fuck to do. I'm scared & it's not getting better. Plus there's incidents. amd i feel bad for believing I should have better things if feel bad for thinking the things I think abt my situation. Feel like it's wrong. There's so much fuckimg more. nothing recent enough but the fighting. Threats. physical And emotional threats. When I had longer hair there was hair pulling involved also mum threatened to call children's aid and tell them she'll kill me if they don't take me. Also disowning me for a month or two last year. Forcing me into shit i don't wanna do then blaming me and guilt tripping me about money for not liking it. Being here is just bad I can't fucking stand it i literally just wanna be a good kid i literally just wanna be what they want I wanna be a Christian cishet conservative shithead whose a good kid and doesn't have meantal health issues and is good at schook but i mean instead im just rlly queer i hate myself my school has to make a fucking special case for me to see the social worker secretly bc my parents won't consent to it but my mum still knows bc they had to call her or children's aid and she yells at me for seeing my social worker and she yells at me about a bunch of fucking shit then "now yr gonna go complain to that woman about what a horrible mother I am" like no no I'm rlly not I'm afraid to tell my sw the things that I have a sw for because i don't fucking want children's aid within 10000000km of my situation they can stay the fuck out of my life and honestly they wouldn't fucking do anything besides get me in shit anyways my parents have been reported to CAS three times already in my life?? I'm done im scared I just want out im tired of being afraid to go out and afraid to come home im tired of this. Also I'm fuckimg tired of them being nice to me like oh that's sweet u bought me something and gave me a hug but im still afraid of u but I can't hate u and I feel horrible and guilty for thinkin maybe I deserve some better shit. I mean fine. Nothing I can do but I wanna die. im so fuckng afraid to leave. i literally can't fucking kill myself tho bc if I'm dead then my parents could find out everything i can't even handle them knowing that shit even if I'm fucking dead. but i can't fucking live either and I'm tired of that im tired of like the complete fucking breakdowns I have just start fucking crying bc i know i can't be alive i csnt fucking live im sorry

#family

[headspaceconversations]

Ok I know queue is paused and all but I really just need to vent to someone rn and yall are the only ppl I'm not afraid to vent to. I feel like everything I knew about myself was a lie and I'm so upset I csnt tell if I'm actually this or if I'm just deluding myself into thinking immthis. This isn't even system related I'm just having rly bad time rn. And need to get this out bc I feel like I've been living a lie bc i was wrong about myself but like, maybe I'm repressing myself idk I'm just :,,,(

please vent to us (you can come off anon or message us if you want)

#Anonymous

[daddy101863-blog]

I dont even remember high school that much but i do remember for 99% of it we werent even friends lol. It wasnt until u started buying twix ice cream bars from cvs or 711 when we started to even be cool. Then the whole criminal crew came about. And none of those friendships lasted, At least to you and i.

I dont remember why or how or exactly when but at some point i found u trustworthy enough to tell u things i didnt tell any one else. Not family or ppl ive known my whole life. Im glad that happened cuz i always know of i need to get anytjing off of my chest i can hit u up. We are 27 now and i bet in 30 yrs when we are 57 itll be the same way.

It saddens and pisses me off that you dont have anyone that gives u what u deserve. Including me. Youre literally the only female i know that i 100% trust. Youd think about my feelings and how id react. Youve never done me anything wrong. Youve never stolen from or lied to me. Youve encouraged me when im down. When my aunt died at 1am on 10/30/2010 i called u and u answered. That shit still means everything to me. Everything. When my himebiy died the following year you were there for me too. If i vent you listen and if i fuck up you tell me. Thats the best kind of friend a human csn ask for and i have that. Im so lucky yo.

If i had 3 wishes i swear i would use one so you would never feel sadness or cry again. Youve given others all of you and rarely get that back.

Im sorry i wasnt there for u in 2016. I was depressed and didnt even talk to my own mother. But knowing what you went thru, i csnt even be friwnds w aaron anymore. Im cordial with him but i cant kick it like we used to. Idl the full details nor do they matter. The fact you went thru that alone is heartbreaking for me to know and again khai im sorry as fuck.

I want you, this year, to find happiness and love and joy and peace and smiles and fun and all the shit u deserve. You go so hard for others and you suffer almost on a daily with your internal struggles. I want u to have a great time in 2018-19. Fuck that i want u to have a great life.

Idk if i ever told u this but when i had surgery in 2013 i woke up after it still drugged up, First thing i did was ask for u of all people. Why? Because just the thought of "khai" brings me comfort and peace. Knowing if im in an uncomfortable situation youd be there to encourage me or something. It was instinct. And that says all there needs to be said.

Never feel alone cuz im not physically around alot....basically never lol. But im always on your side and will always have your back.

Never feel useless cuz you have and continue to all these years later help me through the toughest shit ever.

I believe in god and im grateful he allowed us to meet. Im happy youre there for me and i promise i will be a netter friend over all to you. Im there for way more people that do and mean less to me than you do. Thats not right.

J4L

[mccarthymolly]

listen hk,uh,ww,ok,hm,wt,uh,ok,watch,liste,hm,uh,

Dk,hmkhmuh,ww,dk,uhok,ww,wait uh,hm,ww

Csnt hm,dk,uk,j,o,ji,i,

K hm ww h k hk no i yh hm k uh k uh k hm no lc ww j khj,ww hk hk ok no ww hm ok

Hm volunteer ww hk hkok ww no uh hk j ok so smll. Ok mybe dk ww bml I'll

Ww uh no ,report,uhkl no ok ww hk j

Ww j k j dk hk kj ok hm o kj hk uh eh no hj o u o ww ed lec uh dk, hm k j

Rural n adults, saying i gay,g k

See ww k dk b gd,hm,yh, js gilms, dk,ww, hk j,ww, hm k ok, dk,no,jkh,uh,ww, those kind interruptns, hkuj ww

Grpthink, invisibl b wrse b ja choose cmmn minority? J ku nin dk h jj

Teeth nt holistic wwuhwt noh

Ww h kjn

K hm ww dk uh fd no hm jn dk hm w ttl uh hm dk uh hmu k no, joke yh, hm k n in ww

Hm u don't value it either bc nt hlp, ww, prsr dk, j ku jyh

Even then,yh,nt waiting for right ppl, model issues

Wwuh no dnt hv,no,jmuh, indirect, fr u nt me,uh dk, say outrighter,hj

Hmww khmuh no dk ww h kh yh jmhoj

Dk, hm k jww hk ujdkuj

Ww,conv,no,,,,

Fd,tlk w memories,hlp,uh,who,um,uh, memory fr wt,uh,no,hw tell,uh,idea v evi,no,ww,uh,no, no h ww yh omg y

Making n selling capital we no,uh,hm,yh,uh,hm,n,i,

Hm ok n hi n

Hm think of mr rogers lk theorist,hmj,,j,ok,uh,no,hm,k,ww,yh,uh,ok,m,

Xmpsl hm, get wronged n then do sth, bad if wrong or right said

Nt famlr

Uh fd,

Hm ppays then di

exercuses smll b nt hm,dk,eh,eventually no. If smll then fresh n not expected, b cn u be creative when going into polluted field, r u naive,j,,phol counsel hm dk uh no

Meaningfule h

No,

Ww eh no, dk,uh,ok,j,m,

Ok nt forget b dk ww uh how

Wwj,o,j,dk,

Is ac saying abt a thing of um

Block uh no dy hk

U think i ba dor swuare or deep lk limited n macho reserved. Uh,tf id this rom novel,wwj,k,,

No, bd network yh,

Hm uh,dk,h,m,

Reading aloud ww y ,k,j

Wate rok hm ww,uh,sweet,uh fruit scared,uh,ltr uh,dk,not eat,hm u hd,,k,d k j, ww,k,uh,hmyh,uh,no,phil,ww,y,no,hm,uh,o,k,yh,uh,dk,ww,y,uh,eh,dm,k,

Hm yh col,hm,uh,ww, all prior lf, lk brief feelings but nt of tjis n rpibably nt get to this bc in schl setting or advanced n precosciousness maybe,hm, nt be given schl or anti schl b care,hmww,uh,no,j,o,j,k,uh,ok,wwj,k,d k, j

Careful ok hm uh, k, o,k, sweet n crunch n water,hm,uh,

I havrnt, but feels weird to separate arts or things, lk youd be btr

N sth, uh harsh,hm,

Noh, ww,k,

#Ww

[dayoung-remade]

i always tell pisces n cancers to Choke agsdse jus bc,,, i hte how mainstream astrology always talks shit on every sign but when it comes 2 these they r like.. "too Pure too good for this world!!11!" n it makes me mad bc water signs r so manipulative & play the victim card a lot lmao,... Scorpio i don hate that much bc they r h*t n already get a lot of shit by mainstream astro but the rest i HatE... im a phake tho bc pisces is 1 of my doms agfdrgrdg

pisces r irrelevant idk any relevant pisces other than ten…. n i’m mars in pisces n pisces is my third dominant sign .. it’s so BAD i hate it !! also yea ik !! all signs r ugly n demonic in their own ways but pisces n cancers play everyone so bad that ppl don’t even KNOW .. i will forever call out water signs on their shit it’s in my nature :/ plus cancers r so damn LAME like i was talking to my cousin abt ice cream n i said i don’t like chocolate ice cream bc the taste is too heavy n she’s like. why. tell me why. no that’s not a valid reason. ok but vanilla is boring. no stop lying. LIKE BITCH ITS ICE CREAM !! N MY BRITHER IS THE SAME THEY CSNT STAND SOMEONE DISAGREEING W THEM N THEY GUILT TRIP THEM TILL THEY AGREE !!

#i'm u not hating on scorpios tho #like idk ik i don't get along w scorpios #but im always attracted to ppl w scorpio mercury or venus man it's SEGSI #asks