#but i just can’t

[squash1]

ronan lynch once said, “i’ve been alone a long time”

ronan lynch, i assure you it only felt that way.

#this is meant to be a longer post #but i just can’t #finish it if you want #ronan lynch #tdt #hennessy #greywaren #trc #adam parrish #the raven cycle #blue sargent #richard campbell gansey iii #adam and ronan #pynch #the raven boys #blue lily lily blue #henry cheng #the dream thieves #gangsey #the gangsey #blusey #declan lynch #matthew lynch #mister impossible #mine #ouch

[shirtlessradfahrer]

So what do you do when your favourite rapper makes a catchy song about the hardships of life that you want to love but upon release can’t connect with at all and after a few listens almost outright dislike because none of the pain and hardship life has put you through has ever made you a better person or given you the energy/motivation to do better and it actually just did the complete opposite and you’ve lost out on precious years of your life and so many opportunities while trying to process the trauma and undo the damage

But everyone else seems to love the song to the point that you start to wonder if maybe you’re just a fucking idiot for not being able to make something good out of said trauma and hardship instead of just being filled with crippling anxiety and depression and bitterness and grief and rage

#käärijä #yes this is about ruoska #the mental health tanked again this week #sorry to put my ramblings in the main tag but I need someone to tell me I’m not insane for being so uncomfortable with the song #I’ve been nervous to say my full thoughts because people loved it so much and I didn’t want to rain on their parade #and the umk performance and mv were genuinely well done #but it just really hurts #if the metaphorical whip that hurt me was a tangible item I’d fucking shred the thing to pieces #and then burn the remains #so that no one else could ever suffer the same way again #it didn’t push me through life #it made me want to give up on it completely #I’ve been at my happiest and most driven and most fulfilled when I finally got a fucking break from it #one of the opening lines about sitting at the gas station actually triggered a really fucking bad memory I would have loved to forget #it fucking sucks because his songs have brought me so much happiness #a kind I haven’t felt in a long time #and then there’s….this #if nothing else I wanted to love it for Erika’s sake #but I just can’t #am I just misinterpreting the lyrics? #or projecting too much #I probably am #because god I am NOT looking forward to hearing it all though Kä summer camp #and i hate that

[meteors-lotr]

What’s your thoughts on Fili/Sigrid

In the actual canon of lotr? Pretty good. Fíli is a charmer, and canon!Sigrid seems like a sweet gal that deserves to be swept off her feet. 8/10

In my verse? Ehhhhhh, don’t think it’d work. Like I’m trying, I really am, but Sig kinda takes no bullshit from anyone, and Fíli is like 60% bs. She’s probably a little too stuck up for his taste too. 3/10

Now my verse!Bain X Fíli? That’s a pretty good ship. Just two lads behind dudes. 7/10

#I know Sigrid x Fíli is a ship and I have tried to like do something with it in the past #But I just can’t #It doesn’t work for me #They’d just have like a rom com dynamic and I hate rom cons #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #Sigrid Dragondaughter #sigrid of dale #fíli the dwarf #Fílrid #I think #I dunno

[the-province-of-nova-scotia-real]

Screaming internally because everyone who I typically interact with isn’t online.

#nova scotia speaks #bluenose best boat #bluenose my beloved (no romo) #bluenosed post #like i know i have a messed up sleep scedule #and i probably should sleep #but i just can’t #and it’s nicer to be happy than to be laying down #unable to sleep

[tennessoui]

Sorry if this has been asked before but have you ever considered posting your tumblr fics on ao3? I only ask because sometimes navigating tumblr can be awful, especially on mobile. No pressure though. I just really love your writing and want to read as much as possible.

hey thank you so much for asking! I currently do not have any plans to move all of my tumblr fics to ao3, but I assure you I’ve thought about it.

I view my tumblr writing as very different from my ao3 writing, which is why it feels like a big deal for me when I start a fic on ao3 that i fleshed out as an au or series of ficlets on tumblr. Putting it on ao3 means committing to the details, the story format, the moment in time of the plot I want to tell.

Take the regency au for example. That’s a series of ficlets on tumblr, but I would love to one day put a story up on ao3 for it. But if I put the ficlets up now in the same format I created the KUWSK ao3 fic (aka ficlets set in the same verse but not necessarily in chronological order), I would feel trapped by the format and I wouldn’t ever be able to post it in a traditional story format….if I one day figure out how I want that story to start. Do I delete the ao3 fic of the disconnected ficlets? Do I repost scenes and pretend they’re all new scenes? Do I just start posting the new chronological story at the end of that ao3 fic?

Tumblr fic posting feels more fluid to me because I’m just writing disconnected moments in an au and I always link them in the tag — and I have a master list of tumblr fics here — so if I get something wrong continuity wise it’s not that big of a deal, and I can jump around to whatever moment I want to tell at any time.

For me, it’s not just reposting a piece of writing from tumblr to ao3– it involves me thinking about what I want this story to look like (ie, the hunger games au on ao3 will be set in space; the playmaker au may involve a journalist obi-wan instead of a detective obi-wan) instead of what disjointed moment i feel like writing.

So it is something I promise I have thought of, and it’s something I’m not interested in at this time. If I were to ever delete my blog and orphan my fics, I’d make a concentrated effort to move some if not all of the writing here over to ao3 for people to save as they’d like, but that’s sort of the only scenario I think I would do that in

#asks #I’ve tried really really hard to try and make finding my fics on tumblr easier for people #I made that master list that was huge #I made an au page #im not going to lie I feel like as much as some parts of my blog are difficult to navigate #it’s pretty organized ! #resources are there #but you’re right tumblr on mobile can be tricky #that is unfortunately out of my control 😮‍💨 #this is a good question though!! #I did try at one point #I have a whole fic on ao3 that’s ficlets from tumblr #but I just can’t #my mind doesn’t work like that #it was so hard to do that and that was before I had AUs like regency au or playmaker au #where there are a ton of ficlets all connected together

[rainsandclouds]

Inspired by Paul Rader. 

#listen I know Ed’s hand doesn’t look right and I could probably fix it #but I just can’t #I’m too tired #ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbeard #ed x stede #stede x ed #art #my art

[sznofthesticks]

nothing like the yearly ritual of spending 12 soul sucking hours at my parents house on christmas then coming home to sob because they’re so awful

#i know i can say no to going to see them #but i just can’t #and i know other people have it way worse with their parents #but like #i’m just so tired. :( #it’s exhausting

[madds-is-ace-trash]

An echo in my paradise

It sits just down the street on the island we stated together. An empty house that will forever be unaffected by time.

The villagers don’t even ask about you even more, it’s like they know you aren’t coming back.

It haunts me in away, that house, the mail flag blue and blinking demanding my attention whenever I have to run by it.

Some times I walk inside it and just stand there. I still hunt for your name on anything in the museum. I still run the island, I keep it nice. I finally finished that zen garden we always wanted.

I don’t play all the time but when I do the echo of your presence that has slowly faded from our home, packed in boxes and shoved away, it lives on the island.

On the paradise we started together. You stay undeniable.

I miss you babby bro, I really do. Don’t worry I’ll keep your spot ready, and your controller charged.

But until then I’ll be here. Listening for your echo.

#personal vent #tw vent #yes this is about #animal crosing new horizons #well it takes place there I guess #I know there is probably a way to remove his house #but i just can’t #so I’ll leave ot there #build around it #add the things we always talked about #he always had big Dreams for our little island #i just miss him

[rotisserierosier]

sometimes i want to send my friends voice messages of me reading fics but then i remember i can’t read out loud for the life of me

#idk why #but i just can’t #makes me look like i can’t read at all

[mysadnotsolittlelife]

Idk why I’m like this. I know I’m gonna regret it once I feel full and the cravings are gone. But I just can’t ignore them. I want to binge and not stop until I’m puking uncontrollably. It hurts so bad every single time it makes me want to kill myself every single time. But for some reason I still want to do it

#I’m probably gonna binge today smh #I know this and I have the power to stop myself #but I just can’t #I don’t even want to try and stop myself #I just want to let everything go #I crave that relief it’s gonna give me for a few minutes

[biboybuckley]

ignore 🫶

#this is just me venting about spending the weekend with my grandparents it’s seriously nothing #i really wish i could enjoy being here #but i just can’t #literally everything just makes me feel bad about the situation #i try to be nice and it just takes so much energy #and my mom was supposed to be helping and not making it worse #but the only way she can cope being around these people (my dads parents) is by drinking #which is #not great for me either #and like my grandparents haven’t even been bad this trip #but they have so many times in the past and every time i try to do a fresh start it just goes badly #so i just gave up trying #and now i feel like *i’m* the problem because they’re actually being fine #anyway i just have to make it through the weekend 👍 #and then i get to go to two of my favorite places on earth and see some of my favorite people #focusing on the positive!

[flower-power3487]

sometimes i like an f1 post and then remember i don’t care about f1 and unlike it

#it’s just like that sometimes idk #i don’t really feel the need to watch f1 yk? #like i feel perfectly content just watching indycar #no hate to other motor sports but i just cannot care about them #i try #but i just can’t #i’m an indycar gal #what can i say #indycar #indy lb #idk

[gotyouanyway]

:/

#extremely bad day #might ask to go home early #never ever done that before #but i just can’t #be here #p

[astranva]

I’m sorry but that’s not what I meant lmao, I meant if she ever would do a magazine cover shoot with someone like they did with Vogue, when a lot of celebs came together hahaha

oops, sorry!

she has a few with chris, and she was on the cover of Vogue withe rest of the Mamma Mia cast because she was a lead in it. other than that, she’s someone who mostly is alone in the covers because you know…she’s her and that’s always enough

#i need to stop being so extra with her #but i just can’t #planet evans universe #planet evans