#i couldnt make anything else work!!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Perhaps even,,, pink LaughingStock,,,,? 👀👀👀

ough....yeab....

#in my mind they're barely even dancing theyre basically just Standing There #both cause every time they try to actually dance howdy trips the both of them #hes got too many legs for such close proximity action... #also they get too caught up in Talking methinks #theyre just standing in the middle of the dance floor chatting away. cracking jokes. being Soft. #or rather barnaby keeps being Funny bc howdy keeps laughing and its really cute and he cant stop bc then howdy would stop- #ohhhhhhghhhh im unwell Im Unwell #scribble garnish #laughingstock #welcome home #howdy x barnaby #barnaby x howdy #it took so many sketches and several hours to get to this #and its the simplest fucking slow dance pose ever lmfao #i couldnt make anything else work!!! #and i even cropped this bc the full was Not Great #i wanted them to be like.... visibly going in opposite directions?? like turning in a circle yk yk #i need to practice more #THIS GOT SO OUT OF HAND IMMEDIATELY THOUGH #i saw 'pink laughingstock' and blacked out #i instantly resigned myself to fully lining and coloring #didnt shade tho! held back on that thank fuck!!! #kept periodically making dying animal noises while sketching #the serotonin they bring me is too much. i cant handle it #who will win: my brain's chemical imbalance or Two Gay Puppets #hint: not the imbalance #anyway im gonna go stare at a wall and feel Choked Up from the emotions i have over them

[sea-buns]

Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.

Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.

Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.

But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.

We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.

All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.

I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?

I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us

#i got SO carried away LMAO #i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically #i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general. #but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this #you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol #he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him #when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment #so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was #my point still stands but so does everything else #you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was. #or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects. #u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind #anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #gorgug thistlespring #the ravening war #trw #colin provolone #zac oyama

[allthestripes]

You know what hits different now?

#watcher #sigh #listen #i get it i really do #but this was not the move to make at this time #people cant afford food or rent #and you want people to pay for the same content they previously got for free #plus some extra things that no one wants #personally i only watch mystery files or ghost files #i dont care about worth it or anything else they make #why would i pay for content that i dont want? #i cant afford to #and if i couldnt i wouldnt #bc i get nothing out of this #i do hope this works out for them #bc its not like they dont put the work in #or deserve to make money for what they do #but this seems... #less than the correct way to do this #i will miss you guys

[ratajota]

I changed colleges to study visual arts. dropped sociology after five years and being close to graduating, and yes it's as painful and humiliating as it sounds. but at this point if it swims like a duck (an artist) and quacks like a duck (an artist) the only thing left to do is to surrender to obvious destiny

#it's really funny to me. the transgender. people known to b eok with major life changes and decisions #to have been oblivious to this so long. but not really it all started in 2022 if im being honest #nothing that i studied resonated with me at all and anything close to actually making the sociology happen just wasnt enjoyable at all #it dawned on me last year when i didn't enjoy collaborating at a local trans org. neither in data processing or designing tools and stuff #and like. that was exactly what i dreamed of whne i was 18. and i just couldnt wait to go home and do literally anything else #also i just get stupider each passing year i couldnt pull it off anymore. all my last turned in work was embarrassing as fuck #sociology aborted me. thats it #in 4 years i'll be 28 so what's better than being 28 and doing what you can actually do and have new knowledge regarding it

[1tsjusty0u]

zelda is done. so dirty sometimes

#like. either A her things are attributed to link (ive seen a comic where rhoam scolding zelda for her failures was made to be a comic about #link and like. he wasnt even talking to him!!!!!!!!! theres other ways you can show that and other ways that include rhoam considering he w #as on the great plateau but They Didnt??? and also silent princesses and such but thats a ship thing i think? #or B they blame her for things that literally were not her fault and she couldnt do anything about #(seen someone in a theory video blame zelda for everyone dying because ‘link using the shekiah slate would open the shrines. is she stupid’ #paraphrasing but that was the gist. shrines dont even work that way theyre just Wrong #or sometimes shes made out to be stupid in general #like listen. im not a zelda character fan. i dont love her and i dont hate her. but Come On #you dont have to be obsessed with her or even focus on her in what you make just . Respect her i guess #it feels weird to say because shes a character. however i dont know how else to say it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator #i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much #but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday #forever and ever drawing #but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal #literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i #chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms #bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys #the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so #long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from #everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is #warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable #but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head #hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor #for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b #i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am #but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the #past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria #unrelated

[deathxproof-archive]

@lightcreators get thrown into a mirror

They were on Earth today to refuel— they didn’t actually go to Earth often, but Koschei had noticed it was becoming more of a habit. (Koschei always insisted that when they did go to Earth, it was simply for Theta’s benefit.)(He was a liar, but it was a lie Theta allowed him to tell himself.)

All to say that… Neither of them expected someone to try and unlock the ship. And then to knock when it didn’t work. The two time lords paused, looked at one another and decidedly didn’t check the TARDIS monitors.

 “I’ve… Got it?” Theta says in their quiet bewilderment, adjusts himself before walking to the front doors, “You know,” he starts as they just open, “In over 900 years I never thought I’d have to say that I think you might have the wrong blue…. Box?” 

And now the door was open, and he’d been using his slim frame to block the doorway, and… Theta was now staring at an entirely too familiar face. He squinted, leaned in a little as if to get a better look while keeping his distance. “What?” he says quietly, and it’s mostly to himself. 

“… Right. Uh. Koschei?” Theta calls over his shoulder, but doesn’t take his eyes off the man in front of him. “We have a… A Guest?” And before Koschei can come up beside him he was leaning in again, both hands on either side of the doorway. “Who the hell do you think you are?” 

#lightcreators #couldnt help myself before I headed off to work #Character: Theta & Koschei (mirror universe) #Don’t worry about the read more I just. Like trying to make things Neat considering how tumblr treats editing half the time. #At least with the original post babsdjg I don’t care about anything else

[nashvillethotchicken]

#i dont think he can cook. i think he can make sure that he and the people around him dont starve #i think he can make a mean balogna sammich or a jamon buerre #if anything i think hes good at cooking meat but not much else. like he could work the fuck out a grill but he couldnt boil pasta #i think hes really really great in some types of cooking and literal gutterbutt at others so it averages out to basic cooking skills #interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #lestat de lioncourt #ldl #iwtv 2022

[randomwriteronline]

The first thing he noticed properly was not the sudden impossible change in location, or the unnaturally colored light drenching the mountain, or the partially reconstructed temple above his head, or the anguished screams from all around, or the feeling of utter wrongness seeping into his bones, but the streaks of red on the stone pavement. He couldn't fully figure out what they were, or why they had such a strange shape, or what were the small dark scraps near them, or from where they could have come; but something about them made his face pale and his blood freeze.

A sudden sense of vertigo struck him, and he lowered almost to his knees to keep himself steady. A sudden sense of vertigo struck him, and he lowered almost to his knees to keep himself steady. A sudden sense of vertigo struck him, and he lowered almost to his knees to keep himself steady.

Then finally he broke out of that repeating moment, and looked up. An amiable smile greeted him before the shattering sky.

"Good morning, Warden Ingo," it said with a powerful, gentle voice that cracked the ground somewhere far, too far away.

It didn't sound nearly as human as it should have been.

It was morning, or at least it had been when the smile had spoken. Now rains of five months past were falling backwards out of the earth and into red clouds, and it was at once evening and dawn together, and night and dusk and afternoon all stuck in a gruesome thing that gave him a headache.

In horrid confusion he found himself unsure of where he was.

His only landmark in the all consuming spiraling were the red streaks of red on the stone pavement.

"Let me apologize," the powerful, gentle voice said. The amiable smile from which it came curled in a wide curve, dulcet in shape yet sharp enough to almost sever his head right there and then. "Your presence here was a mistake. An honest accident."

The grey eye looked at him with pity.

A black hole was emerging. He could see it everywhere at once, larger and smaller, in different moments of its growth: one second it had already swallowed him, the next it was a microscopic speck, the next it was a serpentine beast coiling around what should have once been a human body.

The serpentine beast looked at him with burning eyes, as red as the streaks of red on the stone pavement.

It dawned on him, in a constantly repeating minute, what those streaks were; and in the constantly repeating minute, he cried, or screamed, or froze, or puked, or trembled, or asked why.

The grey eye remained blind and deaf to his anguish.

"Unfortunately, we have not had the means to fix this until now," the powerful, gentle voice said as it rolled out of the amiable smile.

Something was wrong.

Down to the atoms that composed his body, he felt it.

Something was wrong.

Down to the atoms that composed his body, he felt it.

Something was wrong.

The serpentine beast opened its rotting wings wider, blood red bones peaking through the dark lunging slowly towards him.

"Be not afraid," said the powerful, gentle voice as the grey eye looked at him and gifted him an amiable smile so sharp it cut him in half. "Our plan always meant to help you, too, in the end. You won't even notice this unfairness took place."

He watched, feeling his limbs be torn apart at the joints painlessly, like a ragdoll methodically pulled until its seams rip, a hand lay graceful and calm on what should have been a human chest.

The grey eye looked at him without seeing, triumphant, with an amiable smile and a powerful, gentle voice drowning the very world it was collapsing within itself in the way a misguided parent drowns their child in a wine bath, spurred by teachings of a false prophet.

"I am a very just god, after all."

"You good?"

He blinked.

Then he blinked again.

He turned: "Huh?"

His brother looked at him blankly, maybe a little concerned. The station buzzed outside the door.

"You stood up," his brother said. "Blacked out for a bit. Are you ok?"

"Ah." he replied, and tilted a bit when he went to touch his forehead: "I think I might have had a dizzy spell, a moment of vertigo."

"Do you want some water?"

"No, it's nothing to worry about. Give me just a moment."

He sat back down, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his eyes shut for a few seconds.

Then he stood back up.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, I feel much better already. Let's go now - better to avoid delays."

He closed the door behind himself.

#pokémon #pokemon legends arceus #submas ingo #pokemon volo #giratina #death tw #dismemberment tw #not really? but basically hes getting unmade so. yeah. #random writing #ingo returns home fic but make it fucked up #i do firmly believe that in the case volo WAS indeed involved in ingos situation somehow it was a genuine mistake #bc 1. ingo serves him no purpose & 2. he wants a more just world so why would he just. do this to him for fun yknow #like maybe in an early rift try/just seeing what giratina could do ingo got yanked along and volo only found out once meeting him and went #(to giratina) ruh-roh bestie i think we fucked up big time #but neither knew HOW theyd dragged him here let alone How/Where/When to send him back so they couldnt do anything #so volo decided hed solve it when the plan works. its another injustice arceus allowed so hell fix it once hes in charge w/ everything else #and then he does :) #with some blood on his hands but hey. hell fix that too later. making this reality collapse on itself killing all its inhabitants. but agai #some sacrifices must be made

[thedevotionaltour]

thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.

#static.soundz #crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad #bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons #when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words. #i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad #and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason. #it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college #bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection #bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular #but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad) #(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood #so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult. #they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time. #bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now? #why at this moment and no other time? #but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him. #more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.' #it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna #drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me. #i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds #that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year #when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music #i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm #im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.

[upsidedowngrass]

i will say one of my Biggest pet peeves in one fanworks is 'liam becomes the new airy.' like im sorry i respect u and ur interpretations and ur creative interests !!! im glad ppl have fun and have ideas about post canon one, theres a lot of potential there!!!! but also the moment that i see a work have liam do this i instantly stop paying attention

#not putting this in the tag cus i dont wanna make ppl feel bad!!! #and like. i HAVE seen works that mildly explore it but in a way that i kinda like #but its just. it bothers me So Bad #like it contradicts every trait liam has ever shown in the series AND all of his motivations #'ppl qct ooc under stress!' yeah but it doesnt make ppl act in ways Completely diff from who they r... like hes still liam #at that pt hes just a whole new CHARACTER #but its like. his ENTIRE motivation is that he wants to stop anyone else from going what he went thru. will do anything to prevent that #itd literally undo what makes his entire character him at all to have him go back on that. thats literally his most prominent motivation #its SO intrinsically tied to him as a character #like yeah!!! him and airy are both isolated in that world. there are strong similiarities between their characters #but they still went theu snth DISTINCTLY different. #airy died and was isolated. liam was kidnapped and then isolated. it feels just different enough that i CANT see how #liam would just end up as 'airy 2.' their experiences may be similar but theyre still extremely different #and its like. ive said it before but i think julien is meant to serve WAY more of a parallel to liam than airy is #if theres anything i think liam would do if he couldnt get home? it would be to try and try and try #until hes just... not going anywhere #his stubbornness (and juliens stubbornness for that matter) is vital to understanding his actions. #hed never stop even if it meant he REALLY never stopped. and i think thats just as emotionally impactful #and? even if he WERE to act ooc. uh #tbh? i think hes terrified of dying. he does NOT like it. i think esp after the waiting room hed dread it bc all he knows of it #is that hell just keep dying and dying. or end up just stuck there forever #but. if he were to start rly going against his established traits. i think hed more sooner off himself than start s3 #ESP since it is his own concern for others that makes him act the most Against his own self in the entire series #when he tries to kill airy. bc he couldnt stand the idea of everything continuing #and airy doing this to more ppl. THAT is what is strong enough to make him go against his own personality #and i think its too deeply intertwined into his character for him to try to deal with isolation by kidnapping people #esp not owen. #suicide mention #ANYWAY. these tags r long #OK TO RB BTW if u want i just didnt tag it bc i dont wanna make any1 goin thru the tag sad or anything

[piplupod]

shoutout to the time i thought juggalos were just a random type of clown in the same way rodeo and pierrot is, and I off-handedly mentioned them in a conversation about clowns to one of my DQ managers when I worked there, and she fucking lost her mind laughing and I was like. damn. I didn't think my joke was THAT funny but okay. and then I never looked up what a juggalo actually was until just last year, like four years after I'd stopped working at that place 🧍

#when u dont have internet access very often u don't use ur small bits of time to look things up #esp when u dont have any unmonitored internet access fjdkdl #i was scared to look things up at school and i couldnt look up very much on the home computer #and my mobile had net nanny installed on it lmfao it was set for like... 12 yr olds #NOW GRANTED. I ACTUALLY DID MANAGE TO BREAK NET NANNY ON MY OWN COMPUTER. u have to move some files around inside the program files #and then u can basically break and un-break it as u please #so i could have it on to keep up the charade that i had it installed and it was monitoring and reporting my good boy usage #but then when i wanted to do stuff like... go on tumblr. or look up slang or whatever fhdkdl i could break the program #until i was done and then fix it so it'd go back to normal #this didnt help v much though bc i couldnt lug my laptop to school v often #and i wasnt allowed internet at home fhfkdl unless I was using my mother's laptop for looking up piano music LOL #eventually i also figured out how to break the program on my phone too but that one was more luck than anything else i think #anyways. all this surveillance made me good with tech stuff but im not Good w tech djdkdl i just know how to look things up #and i learned a bit how the backend of programs work or weird tricks for hidden folders and stuff on laptops #hey why tf am i rambling abt this in the tags fjkdl I've lost the plot #anyways good morning everyone please look up words that u may not know the meaning of before u use them #i do this too often now fhfjld. i have to look up words that i DO 100% know the meaning of just to make sure i dont have it wrong somehow #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[kindlecorner]

I am beyond annoyed and frustrated with everything going on with tumblr right now... why doesn't anyone have any sense of care for the people that use their platform. I don't get it, I don't understand. you literally could have done anything else.

#i dont think im going anywhere but this is making me hesitant to share my work from here on out #i Might. but i dont know :( #sym.txt #tumblr #why couldnt they have just done anything else. i would rather them have continued doing tumblr live. #is there a way we can like. class action lawsuit or something?

[scarletanpan]

It's not my place to be saying this which is why I'm hiding it on tumblr.com but it's been kind of bothering me how multiple big commentary ytbers I used to follow haven't said anything abt Gaza in the past months. Like from what I've seen not even a community post of support or anything(except Chad Chad). Like I know I'm just a viewer and I shouldn't expect things but all I can think about is how they get millions of views every video, just a couple of hours worth of streaming or adding a fundraiser to a video could probably generate thousands to donate, and they definitely have fanbases who would willingly participate. Idk if they talk abt it on twitter but I wouldn't go all the way there to see a ytbers opinion I just wished it felt like more people cared. Especially because these are the same people who tend to have strong moral opinions abt situations like this

#text #i say 'used to follow' bc most of these ppl have sponsorships i dont like and ive since stopped watching them #also betterhelp is literally working with israel to give free therapy to ppl. if i see you promoting that shit dont look in my direction #its just a little disappointing. ik theyre their own ppl but damn not a peep from any of them? it just feels weird #i wanna give grace but if i had the pull of millions of ppl i would be fundraising like fucking crazy and donating a bunch myself #i donated a little but literally cant afford anything else rn bc im out of a job. i wish i could do more and idk why they arent doing more #it feels mean to be critical but theres a genocide i just couldnt keep making funny lil videos in good faith w/o doing something

[evilmagician430]

my evil scowlene fanart

#images that are horrid to see and look at #mspaint #moon dreamers #moon dreamers fanart #evil scowlene #originally i was going for a cdi animation magic inspired look (as i do with all my art but especially this time) #but then i realized i couldnt tell what shade of green her dress is because itz shiny. so i had to airbrush different shades 4 texture #and then that meant i had to somewhat render the texture other things in this picture. so i ended up rlly making this into a piece of work. #i dont think itz overworked though <3 scowlene deserves to shine like this #also i took SOME artistic liberties with her design... i think the middle part of her dress is actually cut different if that makes sense #and i drew different styles of eyes instead of just the actual eye pattern on it #and gave her painted nails. aand nightmare crystal earrings #and the ears i just think she would have pointed ears like that.. #oh! also i should tag yawny. #yawny #there probably isnt anyone or anything else named yawny

[nerdie-faerie]

Why is it when I have a big task to complete that should take days to do, I procrastinate the hell out of it when I have plenty of time but when it comes down to the absolute last minute, I can do a couple of days work in a couple of hours? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why couldn't I do it casually over a couple of days but can do it in matter of hours?

#ace is a mess #Tag talk #personal #i started to organising/clearing out my room at my parent's four days ago did half of one aspect of it did the other half of it two days #later then did nothing else and yet today ive done pretty much everything else that shouldve taken days in 3 hours? wtf #im losing my room when i go back to uni its being repurposed for someone else and so i needed to actually all of the sht i havent organised #since we moved in in 2018 then made even more disorganised when i moved to uni in 2020 i havent organised ANYTHING the entire time weve bee #here because i was supposed to be getting different furniture and then that just never happened and then im rarely here and just end up l #living out of my suitcase and between switching out cold weather and hot weather clothing over breaks its just become more chaotic and has #been too big of a job for me to even contemplate tackling and now im leaving tomorrow and i have literally choice and have done 5 years wor #in a couple of hours like why? why do i intentionally stress myself out like this? why cant i make decisions if im not at peak stress level #why dont i have any motivation unless im literally feeling ill with stress? why do i work like this? #also yes i know its ridiculous ive been living like this sincee sept 2018 but consider most of the problem was closed inside drawers and #therefore i couldnt see it so it didnt exist. that and im not here much i guess