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flownwrong · 8 months

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expectations (a due south fic)

F/K, 1.5k words, additional tags: first kiss, stupid phone conversations, drama over a duffel bag

I'll tell you what I told ao3:

"My writing hit a wall a while back. To deal with it, I decided I'd write the only way I can now—short fic I can seat-of-my-pants in one day. A piece for each ship/fandom/idea where I have wips or thoughts that I can't make into actual works. This is the first one.

Thanks to @nigeltde-fic for dragging me down with this ship, and generally being a champion. <3”"

Maybe it really is a damn Groundhog Day type situation. Only twice as boring and nobody gets the girl, like, ever.

One thing he never pictured when he thought of the after-fraser-life, which he didn’t do very often, or, well, maybe he did, but he didn’t like doing it, point being—one thing he didn’t imagine was that it would be the same. As in, poof, never happened, must have daydreamed it, off you go, Stanley, play well with the boys.

And, well, it isn’t really a never-happened kinda deal, because Fraser, he just lives in a pocket in Ray’s head now, twenty-four-literal-seven, like friends do, you know, or something close. And what with Vecchio and Stella fucking off to Florida and Frannie doing her thing all while they were still doing the big adventure stuff, between all that it’s hard to not notice the change. But other than that—it’s the same job, the same desk (his desk, The Kowalski Desk), the same bottle in the cabinet above the sink and the same—the inside of his head is the same, too, giving him trouble like always.

more under the cut or on ao3

The way they left things—if that’s even what happened, left things, huh—it’s not what he feared. Not what he expected, either—and it took him many, many frozen-through adrenaline-drunk days to put a finger on it, that there was an expectation. And now back here, it’s like one of those tip-of-the-tongue moments he’s so familiar with, only with that expectation; it circles him all predatory with every lonely shuffle around his dance-apartment-floor and every stupid late night reruns session and every finger of drink he takes with that, and then it wafts away on the wind, leaving him feeling like he missed a step and twisted his ankle. Which is kinda stupid, when you come to think of it, since it looks like all his worst-case scenarios solved themselves and left him with a cushy little offering while he was playing explorer, and wasn’t that what it was all about.

And maybe it wasn’t, because Fraser calls, like he does, which floors Ray a little every single time for reasons he can’t even begin to articulate, he calls on a Friday and brings him up to speed on Dief’s aversion to the nearest Tim Hortons (nearest being a few hours’ trip to Yellowknife) because quote he says it’s cheating and Chicago ones tasted better and frankly it’s insulting end quote and how you pay and pay and pay and how he fixed up the cabin now and the second bed is new and really much better than the one Ray had to deal with up there, he made sure of that (felled the best tree he could find, Ray wagers), and Ray finds himself nodding and humming and gripping the stupid station handset, knuckles gone white, biting his cheek, hell if he knows why, not like his smile could do any damage at this point. “There isn’t a waiting list for that bed, is there?” he says, no reservations worth stopping for. And, “no,” says Fraser, and there’s that expectation, clarion as you please, ten-four, roger that. “Greatness,” Ray says, and hangs up, and does a little shimmy he’s not even ashamed of.

And then Fraser doesn’t call for three weeks, in which Ray is very productive, managing to vent drunkenly at Turtle who looks so unimpressed Ray thinks he actually hears him sigh, pack the bag, unpack the bag, consider terminating the lease, call in with Welsh then come in anyway, chase the latest case into almost three whole days awake and get sent away by Welsh anyway once the Bonnie and Clyde of small-time food truck GTA are locked up, pick up the phone roughly thirty-seven times, put it down thirty-six, and that last time, Fraser picks up and calls out for him softly and he’s too much of a chicken to do it back. Where exactly they tripped in a dance Ray felt resonate in his bones, he can’t guess.

Week four, Fraser calls, only it’s Ray’s doorbell that rings this time, and he picks himself up faster than he would the phone.

“Fraser,” he says first, then swings the door open, “Frase,” gripping his wrists way too tight, “what in god’s name was that—scratch that, don’t say, one thing it was is not buddies.”

“I don’t see what you mean, Ray,” Fraser says, and it’s supposed to make him angry, this far in, only this time Fraser is wrapped up in a soft green-gray flannel instead of the red walking coffin and he has his beat-up bag and the stupid hat on, so even Ray can see through the reflex of it. Fraser tugs gently at him. “Ah, Ray, if you could just let me put my bag down—thank you kindly.’

“You do, Frase, I know you do.” He lets Fraser’s wrists go for half a second it takes for the bag to thud onto the floor—other side of the threshold, damn it—and not a moment longer. “Did you come to stand outside my home and bullshit me?”

“Yes. I mean, not for that, no, but yes, I forgot about—oh, darn,” he says and tugs one hand free to take his stetson off, which is how you know, if you’re Ray, things are afoot. Big things. Momentary events in history. So when Fraser steps one foot in and leans back against the doorjamb and pulls him near—with hands snaking under his arms to land just below his shoulder blades, one half of a hug not yet given, a freakish way only Fraser would go with, which fires Ray up instantly, heat flooding his face like a punch he has to close his eyes against—when that’s done, Ray can find his mouth blind he’s so ready.

“You’re off,” he mumbles, because Fraser is the one with eyes open and he still landed somewhere around where Ray’s lips turn into his cheek, and then only corrected half an inch down, catching the corner of his open-eager mouth.

Fraser presses a kiss there, with intent. “Not,” he says, and then, then he hits the bullseye, fucking A, bingo, job done, you get a sticker—or a mouthful of tongue, because that’s faster where they stand.

“Momentous,” Fraser says into Ray’s hair, some breathless minutes later, and Ray says, “wha—’ and Fraser says, “you said, or rather mouthed, something about momentary events, if my memory serves—well, it must, it’s only been three minutes. I suppose you meant momentous, given the context.”

“Jesus, Shakespeare, come the fuck in, what do I have to offer to get you both feet inside.”

Fraser straightens but doesn’t move an inch to displace Ray where he’s giving him the second half of a hug. “Well, Ray, I didn’t mean to stay, per se.”

Ray disentangles them and tugs at the lapels of Fraser’s really very soft shirt, whenever he’s grabbed those, huh. He blinks once, twice, and thinks about how many bottles he will have to get for that cabinet now, because fucking hell. The bastard didn’t even have the courtesy to rub at his eyebrow, so to him it all makes sense somehow. He looks down and frowns.

“What’s with the bag?”

When he looks back up, Fraser smiles, an honest to god I’m-back-in-ten-foot-snow-and-alive-again grin, eyes kind of superglued to Ray’s face. “Promised Dief to get some of those Chicago donuts, which are, apparently ‘the right kind’.”

Ray steps back, shoves at Fraser’s chest, no way-like, and folds in two with laughter. Fraser looks at him all affectionate, and the absurdity is so familiar it gives Ray a headrush. Or maybe that’s all the wheezing he's doing.

“A bag? A whole bag of donuts?”

Fraser gets this look where his eyes get all liquid and light, and now that Ray’s got the manual he knows that translates to scared and hopeful in downright unhealthy measures. “I didn’t count on being back to Chicago soon.”

Ray can feel he’s doing the superglue thing now, too.

Fraser clears his throat. “Oh dear. Unless—I didn’t mean to presume, it’s only that on the phone—”

Ray cuts him off in a voice that’s too rough to seize the reins of, so it will probably break in there somewhere but it’s all a-okay now, isn’t it—says, “You’ll have to get in here, Frase. I think I’ll want some pants with my donuts, and I’m now in the bag-unpacked phase—uh, anyway.”

He heads inside and hears Fraser shut the door and toe off his boots.

So maybe there was no tripping after all. Just Fraser and his insane moves Ray always learns, dancing skills be damned. Good thing he isn’t Bill Murray—would be awkward to explain this to the girl.

#my writing #fic #due south #fraser/rayk #jesus i'm so tired of not writing #or writing and stopping one third in because i suck at storytelling or even figuring out my own theme #or writing and hating every sentence #or writing and knowing fast-and-sloppy writing is the only kind i can finish #or being so cringed out with my words once i finish that i can't stomach the idea of anyone's eyes on it #let alone any kind of beta so i cut off the avenues of getting critique and getting better #or writing and feeling like i'm forcing people to read #i don't believe in writer's block but i believe in shitty life circumstances and mental health issues #so there's that #if you read this whole vent i thank you and hope you at least enjoy the fic to make up for it

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malleleothreesome · 4 months

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YOUR MALLEUS POST IS JUST!!!!! AGDKFFLSVFL!!!! WHO KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES I RE-READ THAT THING BUT IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!!!! 😫😭👌🖤💚

I'm so late to this but thank you so much Knight!! 🖤💚🖤💚 I'm so happy you enjoyed Blindfolded Malleus... I was so excited for you to read it, and I'm very happy it lived up to the hype and anticipation!!! Truly, I am so honored and grateful that you would re-read something so long 🥹 it amazes me how supportive you are!! I hope I can continue to write things that you enjoy! One day in the [regretfully] far future I swear to you that I will put out an Idia fic just for you hehehe. I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of things I am excited to write, but I guess that is a wonderful problem to have! I only wish I had more time in the day to write, but alas, such is life. Why the fUCk am I writing so formal right now daiohssadoi;hdSAO not me saying BUT ALAS. SUCH IS LIFE????? It is so.

I'm actually taking a TWELVE DAY vacation from work starting on the 22nd so I might actually do a little request event where people can send me like kink prompts or something. I think that'll be fun!

Okay and FINE I'll do some fluff prompts too for the fluff people but please don't judge my fluff too harshly, I'm still learning!!! For some reason smut just comes naturally dhaDSAHIDDASijdsan I'll start gathering some prompts and we will do a little ask game or something.

📣 By the way FELLOW HONEST THIGH RIDING ANON if you SEE this first of all, ONCE AGAIN: I wish to express my undying devotion to you and your exceptional thought process. I am positively frothing at the mouth over your request and I am PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE I am finally making good progress and it WILL be out soon. We WILL make him cum in his pants. We WILL make him cry, whimper, and moan.

#sorry knight i took over your ask to make a desperate PSA for my hero: fellow honest thigh riding anon #ILYSM KNIGHT THANK U FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#does my millennial show when I key smash #as someone born in 96 i am actually right on the cutoff for millennial and gen z #so i choose to identify with whoever is getting the best press at the time #just kidding im sorry gen z i can't relate to yall at all...#i still like ugg boots and my hair will forever be side parted #most of my millennial cringe comes from being a tumblr user between 2010 and 2014 #it is engrained #the cool thing about getting older (young people heed my words):#i am unbully-able (and one day you will be too)#you simply cannot make me feel bad about doing things i like to do and enjoying things that make me happy #take pride in what you enjoy and don't let societal norms stop you #also you don't have to worry about getting bullied anyway because adults literally don't do that to each other #everyone in their mid 20s and beyond have learned to stop caring about what other people do for their own enjoyment #because like... lets be real... seeing and learning about what makes people happy... is super cool. the world needs more happiness #this is also a call out: if your friends or online spaces make you feel bad about your interests... gtfo of there #thats not the norm. curate your spaces for what makes you feel good!!!#your 20s are shit enough without so much negativity during the times you are supposed to be relaxed and surrounded by loved ones #this post was made by ugg boot gang #‧͙+ ̊*・༓☾ Erica Answers ☽༓・* ̊+‧͙

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mintacle · 1 year

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I generally hold that we should let teenagers just be melodramatic and I detest the word 'cringe' because teenagers are just discovering, just beginning, that experience of artistic expression. Being unexperienced in expressing the genuine does not mean that they are in fact ingenuine. But beyond the fact that teenagers should have the freedom to not be embarrassed out of sheer human dignity and respect, I also look back at my own younger self and think about how I used to be embarrassed for them, but now think that I should have been far, far more expressive.

Now I realize that the pain my 12-year-old self was expressing was because I was being abused and neglected by my parents. And only now do I know that the abuse was real and not just an exageration on my part. Now I'm listening to songs I forgot I had listened to. I think about my early sleep disorders and remember being awake at 2AM listening to these horribly sad songs. I listen to them again as an adult who has long since moved out and I understand the pain my old self was going through clearer. This child I used to be was not being cringe or exagerating and if that wasn't such a popular narrative on teenage hurt, then maybe I would have actually gone to child protection services when I wanted to. Or been honest to my teachers when they asked me if everything was alright at home. Maybe I wouldn't have felt fucking embarrassed like it was my fault when my teacher came to me about my homework I handed in, in which I wrote something about destructive love and lack of love of parents for their children and how their children loved them still but they weren't being loved back. And I lied and said it was nothing, but that I had just seen a movie recently with something like that. And I laughed and said that I would just come up and say it if something bad was actually happening. And my teacher said that it can be very hard to do that. And I shrugged, feeling guilty for having made fun of those children who actually have it hard, because I didn't think I have the right to say that I was one of those kids.

Because, my god, is it jarring and gut-wrenching to be re-discovering the songs you used to listen to and remembering exactly how alone and how hurt and desperate you were. And then to realize you were right all along. To think that so much of this is being ignored and degraded to mere teenage-melodrama; both the internalized narrative some adults have of themselves and the things some teenagers are going through again, right now, because we can't think of emotion as anything other than immature (for teens and kids) or entertainment and art (for adults).

Art.

Artistic expression of my PTSD is something I revel in, but there is no need for people to learn first how to weave poetry or paint into their pain before we deem it valid. Being unexperienced in self-expression of the emotions deeply ingrained in the human condition, does not mean that teenagers feel these emotions any less intensely or truly.

#ramblings #personal #I can't believe how all of this was being swept and explained away back then #extremely anti cringe #Also now as an adult I am constantly drawn to topics of trauma and tragedy and I believe I am still trying to express something #and I am constantly surprisedby the fact that I am not being shot down or dismissed for these things #the only thing that changed was my age seriously #honestly the way we treat teenagers is kind of fucked up though #it's like they lose both the protection we give children and the respect we have for adults #I'm not saying stop critiquing the tiktok culture. because definitely do not stop critiquing that #but I am saying stop making teenagers feel like they can't talk to anyone about their problems #or something #anyway listening to 'the lonely' by christina perry and thinking how sad it was that I would feel so strongly connected #to such a song at 12 y/o

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kiana-kaslana-423 · 6 months

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People still don't know how to read...

If you need time for yourself or to take it slow after this nasty guy, don't worry your Starlights will wait for you ;)

Thank you Starlight!!! :'3

It means a lot to me that you say that since I

feel like sometimes some people get

frustrated with me because of how long

I take or since I just have a lot of stuff to do

Even though a lot of people say they don't

it's just a little worry in the back of my mind-

I've talked to a friend about this and she

really helped me get over it and just kind of

feel better since she said how it's a lot at

first but then it decreases over time because

you block a lot of them! But a lot of them do

come around and it's just annoying and

really disgusting when their page is really

pornographic and disrespecting

And I'm sorry if I'm sounding sappy but I

really do appreciate you guys, I appreciate

all your guys's kind words and everything

you guys do! I love talking to you guys and

seeing what you guys think and what you

guys request!

You guys make it worthwhile <3 ilysm /p

#sinmalssimp is the goat <3 #I probably say this every day but you guys are amazing <33 #I'm the most sappiest person alive- kind of cringing at myself as I'm writing this tag #I just can't stop being an appreciative person- just I appreciate you guys so much but I should shut up about it properly jdhfhd #I'm going to stop writing tags this is cringe-#☆ kiana vents ☽

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starscreaming666 · 1 year

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Equestria girls really is the funniest concept in the entirety of My Little Pony like I am a highschooler but also an adult horse

#An adult horse with a job #And legitimate royal status #This isn't a complaint it's the best thing ever #Like when Twilight reveals her whole deal Applejack's like lemme get this straight you're a HORSE and she's like yeah #Like imagine being a grown ass horse with a house and bills and suddenly you have to go to the mirror dimension and it's highschool.#Twilight's so much stronger than me man I'd just give Sunset the crown right off. I can't do this again Sunset bestie :) it's yours :)#For context I stumbled into the pony songs corner of Youtube since in the absence of music I'll explode and I found out you can just find #All three of those horse human movies on there. Just the whole thing #And I really liked them as a kid so you know ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯#Cringe is dead I'm having fun with the horses #Decided to rewatch the show also and there are NINE SEASONS when did that happen???????? That's a lot of horse what the shit??????#Also before I stop saying words I remember a lot of people dragging Sunset Shimmer's demon form when the movie came out and ngl #I don't get it at all dude it's kinda cool. Like it's intimidating it's cool it's wish fulfilment for all the girlies who go ape shit #What's not to love #my little pony #MLP #shitpost #This is a shitpost #Mlp G4

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eirenses · 11 months

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someone sedate me, i'm too fucking into the qsmp at the moment. im too obsessed im not okay

#i live and breathe this server #its consuming every minute of my day #like i can't stop thinking about it #this server really creeped up on me and now i find myself being strangled #watching hours of vods #learning multiple languages #and being online watching clips #i embrace the cringe but this is a little too much :'D #qsmp

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spearxwind · 1 year

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I need some sort of extremely soft ship art or im going to pass away

#wish I could commission people but idk who or what to ask for #thunderclap #jusr some eelce being gay 👉👈 being cringe on main abt this bc I can't stop thinking

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2hoothoots · 2 years

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maybe this is self-indulgent of me but i LOVE reading my own fics back. it's like wow, the way this author writes these characters aligns exactly with how i see them... omg and they included all my favourite headcanons?? no waaaay

#Obama giving himself a medal dot jpeg #I do sometimes go through this weird period of like. being unable to re-read semi-recent works #out of a weird feeling of embarrassment??#like that's what's stopping me from going back and reformatting TPA for print #it's on the to-do list i just can't think about rereading it atm without cringing #it's just a me problem lol #anyway itll pass in like another month or so

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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what do you like specifically about Kiryu?

the fact he has a laundry list of dumb things he's done throughout the games

#snap chats #LMAO LIKE IS THIS THE SAME ANON OR IS TIMING HILARIOUS #anyways to actually answer the questions #What Do I Like Specifically About Kiryu idk :) i say he reminds me of my dad a lot and that is true #mostly when it comes to fatherhood tho. and when i say that ima get people sayin 'im so sorry' but no my dads great 😭#and ik kiryu aint a saint and he aint perfect but he gives me the same vibes as my dad does #beyond that tho he's just silly :) i like how despite being an intimidating guy he's still very cute in a way #he's also very earnest about things- in his Cool Kiryu way of course #he doesnt shirk learning about things and he's always open to new experiences and that's so sweet #and sometimes his goofy philosophical speeches do get to me. Again it very much reminds me of my dad he does the same A LOT #and kiryu's just dorky i like how he likes manga i like how he likes pocket circuit #and even if he was reluctant to be ono michio it was very sweet that he took the role seriously #and wanted the successor to ono michio to be a perfect one #he's just a very sincere guy and i love it #now for the DUMBEST thing he's done. every instance he's tried to have someone else take care of haruka #off the top of my head this happens twice but its like kiryu youre DUMB #STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CAN'T BE A GOOD DAD TO HER YOU'RE MAKING THIS A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY #also kiryu just dumping the tojo on daigo. i mean it worked out I Guess but still that was the craziest gamble for this organization #and tbh poor majima for kiryu dragging him back into the tojo to watch over daigo #not really 'dumb' but inconsiderate so yeah that was p cringe #this was The Kiryu Post thanks for reading everyone i love kiryu

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sanstropfremir · 2 years

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With seulgi solo out, (I really liked it! Tho the mv was meh I wish for the two seulgi scene they had one of them in the snow white outfit and the other in the grimhilde outfit then they cut to the one seulgi in a combined sort of outfit or any outfit really so it could show good and evil in one person but oh well lol) it made me go back to Irene and Seulgi subunit Monster and got me wondering how the heck it worked so so well.

Bc I see many covers of monster from idols as well like two of the izone girls, dreamcatcher girls, and not a monster cover but it gives off similar vibes-- ryujin and yeji break my heart. But they all don't quite hit as hard as the original which makes me wonder what Irene and Seulgi had if that makes sense?? Like their chemistry is very alluring and I feel like the two of them balanced each other out very well. What are your thoughts? If I made sense LMAO

yea i agree they should have at least had the opposing outfits for seulgi for that scene, it would have actually fit the theme lmao.

in terms of monster and why it worked, i think it worked because of all the combined factors (top tier skills, good choreo, it was designed for them in the first place etc etc), but one thing that i think stands out in comparison to people doing covers and itzy break my heart is that the chemistry between seulgi and irene is actively complex. one of the things that makes monster so interesting is that it's really hard to tell who either of them hate more: each other, or you, the viewer. and on top of that they also play a love for each other that surpasses anything they'd give you, so you'd better get out of there real quick if you don't want to end up on the wrong end of a stiletto (knife or shoe). but with break my heart especially, it's a very one note 'cheeky ironic bad girl' performance; you don't really get the sense that they'd actually do anything you to or themselves. it's toothless. with monster there feels like a real threat coming from seulrene that if you even looked at them the wrong way they'd have no hesitation killing you and then each other, just on principle.

#kpop questions #red velvet w #sorry billie eyelash but your sad ironic music ruined a generation of performers ngl #what do i have to do to get these kids to stop being ironic with everything that they do. like fr #commit to the FUCKING bit like don't do this cutesy pretend 'oh look im ~evil~' NO #where is the HATE where are the EMOTIONS give them to me!!#seulgi literally said like yesterday or something that's she's fought with every red velvet member like those girls have HATED each other #and they have that basis of rage to tap into that feeds the relationship #that i dont think anyone who's done a cover or a copycat has ever been able to access it to the same depth #(not apink's copycat. that's the spiritual opposite of monster we love her)#irony can be used very effectively in specific circumstances but it emphatically does not belong in spectacle entertainment!!!#i talked about this in relation to chocome like a year ago or whatever but like. girlies #you can't get on stage and act like 'oh wink wonk isnt it so funny and cheeky' you HAVE to commit or it doesnt work!!#you are not pretending to hate each other as a joke. for the time you are on stage you DO hate each other!#and love each other in equal measure!!#if you want to be a good performer you HAVE to believe in the delusion #yea performing is cringe sorry but everyone who's ever performed before you knows that and has accepted it #do seulrene actually hate each other? it doesn't matter. what does matter is that you THINK they do for this performance #n e ways another dawn another day i talk about how kpop is acting #text #answers

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