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bigolgay · 15 days

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What is bigolgay crying about today?

Everything.

Find out what it’ll be next week! Thanks for tuning in!

#i always end up in the same place #crying over (blank) alone in my shed #literally getting Deja vu from august lmao #have noodle (cat) in my lap and everything #it’s a good thing he doesn’t mind me crying all over him😌🫶🏼#im fine #who threw the tennis ball!?!🎾sad edition:(#who threw the tennis ball!?!🎾

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ultimateyakazoo · 11 months

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chapter 1 trial

#i think my biggest achievements in making these was being able to condense the trials into a few basic panels #each trial ended up needing more n more dialogue but seeing how long the in game trials are im pretty proud of myself #i only did ever sketch out the first three trials tho my sketches have taken me just up to the chapt 4 trial which i ever started at all #oh also i made sure to always keep the order of the characters in the trials true to the game #everyone is placed in the exact same 'seats' as they are in the real game #that was tough at times bc sometimes i wanted dialogue between characters who were nowhere near each other #but it was also a good opportunity to make me use characters i normally wouldnt have thought to use #and i couldnt just give dialogue to my favourite characters lol #and sometimes it worked out really well where the characters i wanted interacting did happen to be next to each other #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #ok here we go #hajime hinata #teruteru hanamura #mikan tsumiki #chiaki namani #nagito komaeda #peko pekoyama #is that everyone #mahiru koizumi #there we go #my art

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front-facing-pokemon · 1 month

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#oooohhh hell this generation is gonna be reeeeaaally rough on me. the textures on these models are Completely different from the 3ds #versions. and i do not!!! know how to do it!!!!#grookey #ANYWAY. welcome to generation eight!!! this generation will always hold a special place in my heart because it's the one that #reintroduced me to pokémon as a whole #i've talked about this multiple times in small references in the tags so i'm sure you all already know this but #when i was younger‚ i had a Passing interest in pokémon. didn't really need to play every new game or know every pokémon #but when i turned 18‚ on the SAME day pokémon sword & shield released‚ i ended up getting it for my birthday #mostly because my parents hadn't figured out what to get me for my birthday and heard that the new pokémon game came out the same day #which‚ now that i look it up‚ apparently it actually came out 5 days before my birthday. and i was just Told it came out that day #who knew. anyway‚ i got swsh for my 18th birthday. and i played the shit out of it. hyperfixation material #and that's what got me back into pokémon Properly. back into it as an Autism Special Interest type beat #and now it's stuck with me ever since. so swsh is probably always gonna be one of my favorite games in the series‚ and gen 8 one of #my favorite generations just because of what it means to me personally #gen 8 was also the last pmd game we ever got so .

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jasontoddenthusiastt · 4 months

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“Jason should get over being upset about his death” - he has, he wasn’t angry at Bruce or the world because they failed him and he ended up dying, which he made clear plain as day and that’s about the most reasonable a person who went through what he went through could be

anyway I don’t think these people realize how gory being bludgeoned to near death is, and maybe it's because of the limitations of the medium that scene was presented in

#not to mention he had to process the added heartbreak of his birth mother’s rejection/betrayal at the same time #like yeah he was cocky and smiling in the uth movie go Jason go but that’s also the same movie that drastically changed the context #and tone of that scene by erasing Sheila #kelseethe #I remember the first time reading aditf I got flashbacks to a Korean horror movie that still puts me in a weird place #anyway it was about a serial killer who went around killing people by beating their skulls in with a hammer #one of the plots was centered around a victim who didn’t die after the first attack and even managed to escape at first #long story short she was running around trying to get help and the cops were useless + he ended up finding her again and finished the job #sfx brains skull blood and viscera everywhere #and that’s exactly what happened to Jason you just didn’t see any gore because it’s an American comic #nor did you hear his screams and the sounds from metal making contact with bone and guts #and like I said the uth movie was pretty sanitized too same for the titans show which also downplayed his death lol #anyway I think it’s really forgiving of Jason not to blame Bruce or anyone else for the fact that they let the circumstances lead to that #and to instead only criticize how nothing was done in the aftermath #Idk I always found it a bit fascinating how it doesn’t seem to have dawned on most people including his fans #exactly how violent that experience was

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dunmeshiminimumwage · 2 months

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#chillchuck #mod chilchuck #dungeon meshi #i always end up eating the same food when i'm on my break bc theres a place next door in the same building

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thedreadvampy · 5 months

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My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

#red said #the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together #but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time #and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth #and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him #and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty #unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment.#we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed #and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then #and so we get on much better now #but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over #and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here #like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations #I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with #and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious.#like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe.#but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats)#and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license #and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv #me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills.#we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home!#and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree

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liquidstar · 1 month

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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crithaus · 1 year

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man I am thinking about it but Zephrah is but one of the Ashari homelands, thus Keyleth is the heiress apparent of the air ashari people, the princess, and she was chosen which is cool according to the wiki even if Vilya was her mother she still had to be chosen to go on the aramente, which I wonder if she failed would her nobility pass on to the next person? Does her princesshood come from her mother or her position as tempest-incumbent? I would imagine the second one And I wonder how this stacks up legitimacy wise to the rest of Tal'dorei and Exandria proper cuz Syldor only seems super impressed by Percy even tho Syldor sucks and is a shit metric so nvm but inside her domain, her small but significant section of people, she is a la Germany during the 1700-1800s, a princess amongst the 3 other leaders of the Ashari, now it seems the Ashari governmental system is at least a little less centralized than say Tal'dorei but it still technically has Kiki as their princess now I'm making a point with this so bear with me,

And Percy, in much the same position, is, or was the second he stepped back into Whitestone, and especially showcased in TLOVM, the Big Man on Campus, the top authority, in fact he says in EP 64 to Syldor that he is of the Royal House of Whitestone, before his lil responsibility shirking ass defected to Cassandra he was the boss here, and if Whitestone is a Royal House and yet outside of Uriel's jurisdiction and his line of succession too, and Whitestone has had a Duke and a Count within it's borders as well and Percy being able to title people higher than he is, or being lower ranked than the people of those houses when they are not the main and royal House of Whitestone, is just silly and commensensically incorrect so he's higher here than duke, count, and baron, that's like principality status, one rung below Uriel's deal, a little Monaco in the Europe that is Tal'dorei. so he's a Prince, was probably the Grand Prince in the wee moments before he gave it to Cass, he's a Prince which is so cool, prince of a similarly insular people to Shepard, just like Keyleth

Keyleth is a little more involved in, to borrow from kerrick's letter, the 'gardening' of Zephrah post campaign but still she and Percy are on a very level field here which thrills the Me because it's two stressed out, very lonely and burdened babies, too young for this shit, with surprisingly good leadership skills and without either of the parents that knew how to do all this ruling stuff trying their very best to get through it all intact, Percy might took a hard left into evil demon territory for a second, but no wonder honestly that those two latched onto each other so hard, they had one other person who knew intimately the pressure the other was under, and I mean it goes even deeper truly,

They would have only began preparing Keyleth for her aramente when it became clear Vilya failed hers, years after she left, and Percy might not have been Julius or Vesper but after the massacre in the back of his mind he had to have known that when he went back he'd be in Charge for however long it took him to kill himself revenging his family, so by the time the two of them met they really were side by side with the wide gulf of Responsibility they Weren't Ready For in front of them, which makes it cuter to me that this was how Percy attempted to bond with Kiki at first prestream but like

Man, my little Royal Duo, kicking ass and taking names, Percy mighta broken the mold a little with this council but y'know I think if it were really a big deal despite Keyleth taking BH to him directly they would have had to talk to Cass and the rest of the Council first upon meeting them all so 😌 council served it's narrative purpose now my lord and lady can rule as they please, or at least Vex can which I will take to the Bank, I mean Lady De Rolo Coinmistress of Tal'dorei and her trophy husband? Absolutely (also this makes vex a princess by marriage and also it'll make Vax a PRINCE by marriage when they get him back (cuz they're gonna I choose to believe, it's what Vex deserves damnit, I refuse to be pulled from this fantasy) and he'll hate that it'll be so cute and funny)

But man this friendship, forged under the stoop of backs bowed by such responsibility set on them both far far far too young but bearing it flawlessly anyway, really is so... Percy's going to freak the fuck out when he finds out what Otohan did to her, it's gonna be so good

Their friendship man, it is so important to me. They see each other, they understand, through thick and thin and they are both broken and and a little fucked up but they still stick by each other, Keyleth rails at Percy whenever his bloodlust during the Briarwood arc gets outta control, and Percy's always there to shore Keyleth up when her charisma falls a little flat, it's a friendship built on being seen so deeply and understood in a way that only they can, even if it still isn't quite enough to mend their worse habits, even if it isn't enough to convince Percy to forgive himself then and it isn't enough for Keyleth to acknowledge that the past did happen and was horrible but the bright future is still being written. And they mirror each other sometimes, look at Percy during the Briarwood Arc vs Keyleth and Raishan, look at Keyleth seeing how poorly revenge treats Percy and yet committing to it anyway, they are so similar in so many ways. But it is enough, to be seen by each other.

also please look at this sketchingsparrow knows what I'm putting down

#critical role #vox machina #percy de rolo #keyleth of the air ashari #THE ROYAL DUO MAN prince de rolo and princess Keyleth man they are the same bitch different shapes!!! too young to be here but here none #the less!!!#the difference is Percy tries to shirk it but always ends up back in Whitestone and Keyleth accepted her yoke the minute it was placed on #her neck. but they manage together #Percy has another little sister and Keyleth gets that brother she always wanted #and i have it from the percyologists of the fandom that tal said he was technically a prince if i am wrong DO NOT correct me #i am happy in my delusions but also my math is p good i think im right here #but anyway keyleth didnt get demonified and that saved her moral compass BUT royal duo is the same #its why they butt heads like they do #Keyleth is not fooled by Percy's artifice and fancy words she knows his heart cuz she knows her own

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drawotion · 28 days

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This is Remu, our sweet pup who was put to sleep today, 8th of April 2024... The procedure went smoothly, he almost got to the age of full 11 years. This summer it would have been his 11th birthday.

In memory of him, let me tell you about how our little rascal was like. This is going to be a long post so buckle up. I'll put more pics in at the end.

He was a rescue dog, he came to me and my mom through my oldest big brother around year 2018. He was around 5 years old back then and he was born during summer, what I heard from my brother is that the pup was super skinny when he first got Remu.

Remu was an absolute lap dog, he loved being on our laps and in our holds. Loved sleeping next to us. ((He was like little heater! Very warm hahahh)) Sometimes when we would do stuff around the house he had to be with us on the thing!

For example if I was sitting on the floor and moving plants to new pots or I was cleaning my pet bugs little habitats, it was guaranteed he would be on my lap. And he would always be listening what we're doing.

Oh he was one stubborn and clever fella, there is a reason why I call him a rascal! Of course in the most loving way possible. He was like a big dog in small dog's body. His barks were LOUD.

He wasn't that trusting at first and god forbid if you touched his paws and tried to bath him, or even reached out to him in certain way! Face was off limits. So it was heartwarming how over time he came to trust me. So much so I could do almost anything with him, it got to the point where he let me even rub my finger between his eyes and wipe his cute little snoot if there was something.

Oh any visitor would still get bunch of barks and growls! Never biting tho, but he would let you know that hey, this is his turf! His home! Would even start barking even if he heard my younger old brother through phone. (He still got onto brother's lap and all, pfft) It was kind of silly to see how little mohawk would rise on his back.

Like a true summer dog, he loved basking under the warm & hot sun. I think his belly even got tanned because of this. (Oh Remu, you silly.)

And goodness did he love to run when able to during our walks.

Gosh, let me tell you, whenever he would greet another dog his ears got so high up it looked like he had bunny ears! Adorable.

And his adorable little hop running when inside... It's a shame I never got it on video, but it was silly fun and cute thing he did.

Oh he would do this thing though where he would whine and paw at bed/floor as if he wouldn't be able to get off our beds! (mattresses on the floor btw.) He was fully capable of getting off and all, he just decided to turn dramatic if we were observing him.

Another dramatic thing he did was flip over a bowl when asking for food. Even start rolling up the blanket on his own bed and oh, so vocal. He was a vocal pup.

He never seemed that interested in toys, only playing with them when we prompted him and played with him with them. Eventually his favorite type of play would turn out to be chasing hand under the blanket and and also digging at our blankets while I scratch his head.

Hahh, he sometimes would playfully try to get at our feet, mostly during feeding time. Such a silly pupper.

All in all, he was a lovable silly rascal and one heck of a cuddly dog.

I'll forever miss him, and I am happy he was in our lives, even if I was hesitant to take him in at first. I am so thankful I was able to be there with him and for him on his last moments, when I wasn't able to for our previous pet so many years ago.

Now... May you run a lot, buddy. Run lots and lots… To your heart's content. Get all the treats you so love, till your belly is full.

I love you, Remu.

#Remu #pet death #long post #in memory of pet #this is not all the pictures I have of him and I plan on putting up the couple videos I do have of him #but that is later #god I'm still crying here and there #been crying a lot today and I still am #it comes in waves #but at the same time I feel odd sense of calm #maybe it's because I had time to prepare for this #and that I was able to be there for him in the end #and the thought of knowing he isn't suffering and knowing I will always miss him #it... gives me comfort #I know I'll be okay #even while it wrenches my heart and mind now #I'll be okay... I'll look back on his memories with joy #and I'll happily tell about him and how he was like #I'll miss you buddy #now run! run my little bud #run as much as your little legs let you soar across everything #may we meet again some other time some other place #I love you #soak in those warm sunshines for me okay?#my sweet darling little Remu #goodbye for now you silly little rascal you #sleep

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sinkableruby · 5 months

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also something i think is really cool in episode 25 is when the sword pull version 2 starts proper, the dual chorus version of virtual star embryology starts listing out different heavens. with utenas surname being 天 (ten, heaven) and 上 (jou, up) it really feels like a moment of progress and exaltation for her (perhaps fitting considering the title of the song)

you get this as well with the ED version, where she seems to be ascending high up into the sky, into the clouds... to the castle.

#the ascension itself is not painted as a purely good or bad thing #it's complicated thoughtful symbolism #which is part of why i like utena so much #rgu #tenjou utena #ascension and descent are big parts of utena #interesting to note the moments of big ascension and descent. esp in the later eps. esp esp in the last one #but theres also other kinds of movement besides up and down. you can walk forward or back #i think with that in mind the end of the show has another tone to it #if you move up or down technically you're still in the same place when you come back #you have to walk forward to actually get somewhere else #but going up or down can give you different perspectives with which to look at your situation. more awareness or understanding perhaps #god damnit why do i always put analysis in the tags #whatever! lol #maybe ill make a separate post another time

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wayfinderships · 3 months

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I have my gripes with the new P.ersona 3 remake but MAN... I'd be a liar if I said that watching a video of the beginning portion of the game didn't feel like home-

#pan rambles #P.ersona 3 (Specifically portable) happened right around the time I was the same age as the Third Year Trio (Aki/M.itsuru/S.hinjiro)#So it all has such a special place in my heart. Also the ending made me cry-#I remember replaying that game like 2 times back-to-back because of how much I loved it #also bc I had a romantic f/o from that series but that's a thing of the past #I still view all the others as Platonic f/os though #Especially them in Ultimax #Augh...I want another U.ltimax game..I wanna see the whole cast again but even older #Mainly bc I wanna see them interact with the P.ersona 5 cast but also seeing them all even older would be nice #it'd feel like they're growing up with me!#but yeah that's just my silly little ramble-akfskfkdn #Also the Music is great as always!#P.ersona 3 my beloved <3 #If I had a nickel for every time I kinned a Protagonist with Headphones that [SPOILERS] it wouldn't be much but strange it happened twice-#(Talking about M.inato P3 and N.eku T.WEWY)

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bangcakes · 3 months

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#i think im so wacko nuts about him bc he literally came out of nowhere #like what are the chances we met in the first place....#like ..... its one thing to meet in university right after high school ok but.... its extra weird when its both your 2nd career #and you're at community college #then find out you went to the same university at the same time but 2 years apart #then worked for a bit.. only to realize AT THE SAME TIME that maybe this career isnt for you and that maybe comp sci is It instead #then we end up taking the same electives. and we tend to sit in the same areas of the classroom #and we're both always early and end up alone before class and end up talking #or we both park in a similar place in the parking lot and end up walking together after class #and o ya getting the same grades. having the same gpa. LIKE WHERE DID HE COME FROM??????#and then its like .... he reciprocates. like we're friends. im just. what the FUCK JDJDJJDJDJD #ya im just....... idk. idk. who is this guy JDJDJDJDJDJDM #i wonder too if he has the same like. 'what the fuck' feelings about me. bc idk its all so weird #if hes The Guy .... hes both different than i thought and yet exactly what i wanted. ya make sense of that HDNDJDNFJFNFNJFJF #god help me #personal

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sysig · 6 months

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It always seems like such a good idea in the moment (Patreon)

The first four are in reference to a great idea I had of - since I’ve finished my lower-limit page number testing for making books; shorter fics take up less page space, and just increasing the font size isn’t as handsome! - simply making a mini book! All it would take would be to halve the pages again, right? Just cut them right down the middle! Easy peasy!

As I’m sure you can tell by the second, no. Not easy peasy. Difficult painful un-fun >:(

Obviously I still did it tho! What do you take me for, someone who could have the idea of an even tinier book and then not do something about it?? No It’s also the only one so far to have a paper bookmark rather than a ribbon!

All told it’s a bit smaller than your average manga (I love the monochrome covers on these under their dust jackets haha <3) - you can see even with effectively doubling up the pages by halving their size, it was still very small-spined!

A quick shot while it was still being made hehe ♪ It’s Out! Paired here - and the earlier one, just without its dust jacket haha - with my Zarla SC2 collection (ft. Family, Negotiations are Going...Well, and With No Obligation) - I absolutely kicked myself after the fact for not including Out as the run-up to everything, I was really trying to make a full collection in probably-chronological order! Out would’ve been a perfect start! And it only would’ve taken like four pages!!

Ah well, it was still quite a learning experience - I probably wouldn’t make another standalone of under 4k-ish just for formatting reasons but I did get some good ideas of how to do so if I wanted to! Although, my next project is going to be even more of a formatting nightmare........I’ll get there when I get there! Lol

#Doodles #The impulsive thoughts are always the funnest! But then it's all a matter of actually putting them into reality...#Ahh well like I said under the cut it was a learning experience! And I really wanted a physical copy of Out haha ♪#I don't think I've ever mentioned it - not even in my pre-fic notes :0 - but Out was another one of my inspirations for Drinking Game #I mean - the drinking lol obviously but I hadn't considered what VUX drinking would be like before reading it :)#I wanted to pair it with both physical copies hehe ♫ I'm happy I attempted it! And I have a better foundation to build on in the future!#I ended up using the scrap leftover from making such a small cover as the bookmark haha - and I picked the covers so they'd almost-match :)#They go together! But not quite! Just enough!#The sting of creation has worn off - it's actually been a while since I've made a quick book! - so the itch is starting to come back haha #Well - almost lol - the formatting is still........but I do want to do it! Especially now that I've got a hand-in-hand hobby to go with it #All that later ♪ For now snakes!#And also spiders I am also the same when spiders #I've been escorting a lot of spiders outside lately and pretty much all of them fall under the moniker of ''darling'' to me lol #Still no luck on finding a jumping spider :( But I also haven't got an enclosure set up yet either #There's this one booth that always has such adorable and pretty jumping spider enclosures ahhh I might have to break and get one someday #Same place where I got to hold the snake in fact! :D She was a love <3 Beautiful full-grown female cornsnake if memory serves #She was rather wiggly - she was tired and fussy and didn't feel like being handled by a stranger but she was so polite about it #A real delight to handle <3 And I got to see her babies! So cute and tiny!#The rest is more SCII fic stuff haha ♪ Rereading the Pirate fic was a lot of fun :) Intentionally avoiding Vargas fic(s) does make me a bit #Well I really like Vargas still lol it is candy to my brain so any gesture even remotely in that direction is very exciting haha #I'm perfectly happy with the rest for now tho! I have plenty of things to read and make! >:3c #Heck there's still a SCII fic I haven't read yet that I want to!! I just have to get all my previous SCII thoughts out of my head first haha #I will tho >:3c Always always ♪♫#SCII

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keepthetension · 4 months

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still thinking about grief and recovery and support on this show because oh boy did the shows airing this weekend put me in my dead parent feelings i said before i was concerned about how porjai is dealing with her own grief, and this episode we saw her easily talking about rung, and even casually yelling to rung that she misses her! maybe this is me projecting, because i can't do that, but this seems like a pretty healthy place to be, especially contrasted with mhok's relative silence, and i'm glad!

and mhok's silence doesn't come from anger or resentment (which are valid ofc, but i did wonder if imprisonment gave him time to work through this to some degree) but out of protectiveness. i fucking loved this, because it felt so realistic and lived-in. i lost a parent to intimate partner violence, and i NEVER open up about it; people sure have Opinions, and it makes me insane

but day finding out about rung offscreen wasn't on my bingo card, tbh. because we've been with mhok through everything he's found out about day

it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it feels slightly unbalanced, and i suppose what i'm thinking is: knowing what happened to someone doesn't actually tell you how they feel about it, or how it affects them, or how you can support them

mhok found out from that lady sharing personal medical info she had no business sharing about day losing his eyesight in the accident, but he put in the work to understand what it actually meant for day. and in most cases, we've seen day telling mhok about what troubles him in his own words (his crush on auggy, why he was avoiding his friends, etc)

bereavement is probably statistically more common, so i suppose it may not need to be spelled out for an audience? but i am wary, because there have been so many shows where characters are visibly — to me! — struggling with grief and everything else matryoshka-ed in it, but audience reaction simply doesn't factor this in

i'm also thinking about how often mhok tells day a story about himself with the intent of making him smile ("i bought two bracelets just because i had money to spend" "i found this rooftop when i needed to sober up" "my sister called this false rice". i'm certain there are more!). because this is what a caretaker does, or because this is what mhok does, or both?

because this always made me wonder what it would take for mhok to talk about something that wouldn't make day smile, or because he wanted to share. in the former case, it'd have to be something pretty bad!

of course, talking isn't the only way to recovery or intimacy. and mhok going from "i'm breaking up with my devoted gf because i don't want to drag her down with me" to "i'm going to ask you to be my bf" is pretty significant!

but as they navigate the journey from being caretaker and client to being boyfies, the balance has to shift around a bit to them supporting each other, consciously choosing to be there for each other

in this episode what we got was: you only want money to buy that car. and i'm not even mad about this, because this kind of comment is very in line with day's character. but wow. day, i know you're feeling big feelings, but throwing one of the few things you know about mhok's life in his face is. not it!

#last twilight the series #i know this is a “trustworthy” director. and i will happily eat my words! but #it's always bothered me when couples fall into this pattern of ONE person doing the bulk of the supporting and caring and accommodating #and i am HOPING WISHING PRAYING this show doesn't do the same you know?#also like the imbalance makes sense if they're only caretaker and client of course! i'm just SO curious how this will be addressed #thinking a lot lately about characters society puts into a certain box because social status or because they're Manly or Tough or some shit #and there isn't a space for them to be soft and goofy and playful and tender. and people assume they don't need to be cared for #ten from cooking crush and babe from pit babe and top from only friends. for example.#and “there's zero tenderness in you” mhok #and i desperately want to see these characters get to be more than they're “allowed” to be #patriarchy is a curse #oh also i suspect mhok's “healing journey” will come to a head once he buys the car or whatever ends up happening there #ALSO GOD how many people would move the fuck out of that house afterward IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO #and maybe it doesn't feel like this for mhok and porjai but living in the same place afterward can be intensely suffocating #but they can't just move and start over like moneyed individuals might be able to!#recovery and healing simply looks different for the rich #anyway next ep will probably foreground mhok caring for day. and there are not many eps left!! i am wary but still fairly optimistic

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journey-to-the-attic · 1 year

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hmm not sure how to feel about obey me running the same pop quiz concurrently in both games

there's a weird disconnect - the new ui and sfx of nightbringer did a good job of giving that disjointed feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar, but given that the pop quiz seems to be taking place in the present that mc came from, the nightbringer ui just feels.... off in the wrong way

given that i've got more resources there i'll probably keep using the original game to play the pop quizzes, but since you can get devil points for s ranking a rhythm stage in nightbringer, seems like these events will be a good place to farm some!

(though in the first place i'd rather they finish the nightbringer story before adding supplementary content like this)