#hope it doesn't suck too bad

[m-sciuto]

Marvels

#Marvels #Photon #Monica Rambeau #Captain Marvel #Carol Danvers #Ms Marvel #Kamala Khan #Marvel Fanart #Digital Illustration #Michelle Sciuto #the only mcu thing I’m looking forward to tbh #hope it doesn't suck too bad

[fedoraspooky]

I haven’t been here long. What irritating changes have been made?

Credit where it's due, some changes have been good, like polls and stuff! But the big recent changes thus far that I would classify as irritating are:

- The UI change. This one may be less irritating for newcomers because it's basically the same layout as twitter and instagram, but for a lot of folks who've been here a long time, it feels cramped and like a loss of identity for the site. For many, the appeal of tumblr is that it ISN'T an algorithm hell like twitter or insta. Also, there's the annoyance of having to relearn where everything is, because it all got moved around.

- The users being lab rats for various tests the devs wanna pull out of nowhere without consenting to beta testing new site features- like the one that took away user icons on the dash for like half the site. They finally put them back after getting enough feedback that said NO, but users were so used to their feedback being disregarded that they were half expecting the change to be pushed through anyway.

- The Netflix tie-in advertising being pushed even to people who had PAID tumblr for a no-ads experience. Complete with them somehow thinking it would be a good idea to put an unescapable-by-scrolling spooky clown on peoples' dashboards that u had to use ublock to get rid of. While I'm not scared of clowns and often find them quite charming, it sucks that staff didn't take coulrophobia being a common fear into account.

- A wave of fully sfw trans posts being wrongfully marked Mature and staff doing little to nothing about it. Not sure if this is still ongoing, but it destroyed a lot of trust and good will. (LGBT+ users have been having to fight a constant war against censorship ever since the adult content ban on tumblr, so yeah... Nevar 4get the list of banned search words that would bring back no results, like 'girl')

- The site gradually moving away from customization. Tumblr is a BLOGGING site. But it seems to have lost sight of that fact, because most new users don't even know you can fully customize your blogs with css and stuff (an option that is now off by default for new accounts!), because of the in-dash viewer giving you only how blogs look on mobile, which is a lot more uniform. There, it's more like every other site- you get a banner and icon. Oh, but you can change colors and fonts from a drop-down list too, that's cool I guess. Though they recently took away custom color schemes on Message windows, just another little bit of personalization taken away.

- TUMBLR. LIVE. Basically tumblr teamed up with a skeevy dating app partner to allow for livestreams- but not the cool kinda livestreams like on twitch where you can draw or play games, no- to a site full of people who value anonymity, they decided to push phone cam only livestreams. Not only that but by agreeing to the terms, you're giving out tons of personal data including your location to said skeevy dating app partner and all of THEIR third-party ad partners. Needless to say, most people didn't wanna use it, so instead of users it's flooded by p*rn bots (which is ANOTHER issue we've been dealing with for a long time and have been getting an even bigger influx of FROM tumblr live) and scammers. And thus, since tumblr likes to put a carousel of current streams on people's dashes, you often get softcore p*rn thumbnails from the bot streams with no way to avoid it except for toggling off tumblr live entirely.

- Oh wait. That's right. You CAN'T toggle it off. Because you can only snooze it for a while until BAM, you're jumpscared by a carousel of ladies licking your screen again! But hey, at least they made the snooze 30 days instead of the 7 it used to be, right? Yeah, except for the fact that you can't get rid of the tumblr live button itself on the app anymore, and now it's front and center with a NEW notification tag on it, overlapping your dash and cramming useful stuff like the search button out of the way.

NOW- A lot of this stuff CAN be at least mostly fixed on desktop by installing ublock and xkit and tampermonkey + dashboard unfucker... But that's a lot of stuff just to make the site usable, you know?

#this isn't even a comprehensive list but hopefully that covers all the big ones #anyway i get tumblr has to make money and it's currently not doing that #but burning through the remaining good will of the people who stuck around through earlier bs doesn't seem like a great idea either #ah well... i'm still here regardless #i've already had to leave deviantart behind because it became an ai cesspit... and it sucked. I had a lot of good memories there. #it sucks to uproot everything and move. so unless something equally bad happens here i'll probs be going down with the ship lol #also there's like nowhere else to go right now which is a huge problem; #i've been trying to look for other places to post too but none really have the same laid-back feeling tumblr does. #also i love the asks system too much. more sites need that honestly #anyway i rambled enough hope this helps u get an idea of why people are angy #asks

[moregraceful]

accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea

#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol #i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho #tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects #which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME #''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with #anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn #my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!! #what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :( #also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD #i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was #two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions #so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe #their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything #at face value #don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns #i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate #this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just #fresno oilers.txt #oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute #i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does #but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough #or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week #but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT #and my life will be like this. FOREVER #icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol #well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half #time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours

[master-k0hga]

| Don't talk about my wife like that-

Yeah so the kick is coming back which I REALLY did NOT want happening rn, especially when (even though it'll probably be all done and sorted by then) I'm trying to edit and touch up all OCs refs and other art related to my OCs I've already posted to here-

And then this bitch comes running back like an ex who doesn't realize it's over... But I guess I'm getting my fill of Kohga with a few and also another doodle/drawing of them here so I should be ok getting back with re-doing said other OCs who need re-designs and stuff... But then even when I HAVE re-drawn all of them; Lore, extras, plots and so on will then need to be handled and... Hhhhggg.... I hate it.

Also stiff neck been attacking me for a couple days now and it won't go away,,,,, I hate it

..... Another art dump coming soon I guess...

. Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

#MASTER-K0HGA #Ary / Kohga Chronicles #Ary / Kohga OCs and Works #Kohga and his clappable cheeks.... #I love him he's so pretty- We don't even have a canon design for his face yet I'd call him the most #Beautiful thing to our wedding... Cuz he is and I love him so much.... Tags for him are kinda dead #And with unrelated shit now which sucks so like... Guess it's just me and my WIFE now... My beautiful. Ridiculous hilarious wife and his- #Jgngjgjjj #Yeah I'll tag these... I guess.. Might as well. Fan art doesn't get any traction either so like it's pointless people won't see 'em #Not even my followers. Blog is just a personal at this point so like.... I give up with people. I actually deleted my Discord! #It was pointless. I have literally no friends. Discord has bs features and everything is just pay to fucking customise your layout #AI bs I remember seeing as well and selling personally data for profit #Like fr fuck every single website for being complicits to every bad thing in the world. We're the fucking product!! #.... Hate this shit hope the workd dies it's lived for too long #..... anyways... #Kohga #Yiga clan #... Ok that's it. No more tags

[tiffanylamps]

after three years, the 'vid finally got me

#covid19 #and on my birthday too? fucking rude as hell #psa: if you're unwell and have to go to work and if you're able to PLS WEAR A MASK! #it is a bad time to hear a horrible story of someone get m.e/cfs after contracting covid and now they're bed bound #like... bitch I already have m.e/cfs! i don't need it to be any worse. (sorry to that person. i really hope it doesn't happen to me #bc jfc that would suck) #chatty lamps #tmi tag #*got #*bedbound

[cowardlycowboys]

over emotional older sisters and their confused younger brothers who have to deal with them

#omg kiera no one cares #this is about mykah and then also about me because like you cant have a post about mykah with it including me #it really sucks to like watch a kid just live your life really #like hey man it really doesn't get better!!!! I'm sorry!!! at least your parents got divorced tho i told my mom I'd kill myself if she left #i was your age too so like i get it!! hate to tell you this tho but it mostly gets worse and he doesn't really get better unless he goes on #a lot a lot of drugs! #she just started crying this morning and was like I'm just being over emotional like wow I've said that too all the time at that age #mykah is sooo kieracoded and that's why she hates when i tell her anything #we butt heads because she's me<33 #I've been thinking about this all day and i just cried lol so #i hope she isn't as bad as me tho because i stood in the kitchen with a knife to me when my mom got divorce INFORMATION #like dubi I'll do it you leave him I'll do it i don't care that he's sooo mean and violent I'll end everything right now at 6½ #forgot i did that until just now but wow great times<33 #can laugh about it now hahahaha

[sadrockandwaltzes]

That was Then, This is NOW

AHHHHHHHHHH

ASPEEPS!!! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THAT WAS THEN THIS IS NOW (TWTTIN <- awful acronym I know) HAS A MOVIE!!!

I know what you're saying. "But [insert name], I don't even know what book you're talking about. Why should I care?" Well I'll tell you why you should care. Y'all've read The Outsiders, haven't you?? It's only The Outsiders more depressing sequel!! Like c'mon. We're all about the angst!!

*and also I totally forgot they were foster brother and not just friends chilling under the same roof (tbf they were friends long before he joined their family) but.. the bromance.. I just need some people, preferably like mindedly gay minded people to read the book, watch the movie etc, and discuss it with me. For my peace of mind.

[and for that very small number of people who have read Peace Breaks Out *cough you know who you are cough* it's basically the equivalent! ASP and Outsiders were the popular ones, they were angsty, about teens for teens before YA was a real reading section, had gay controversies (for different reasons of course XD), and ended on slightly hopeful notes (you may disagree, but I think Gene found peace or something akin to it, maybe self forgiveness at the end of the book). NOW THE SEQUELS. Very disheartening defeatist messages. Everything is irreparably broken and I don't know how to go on but I can't die. Everyone can be monsters so there is no point having faith in humanity. Etc. (Yeesh.) SO GOOD. and they both have the obligatory reference to book 1 which I love.

So to summarize. We have a discord. (We will have a discord I should say). We have internet (obviously). What prevent us from expanding our gloomy horizons???

#Go and read it!!! #and the outsiders if you haven't read that #movie wasn't too bad either #But obviously not as good as the book #would love to discuss with y'all #and either watch the movie together or more like ly all on our own but then discuss #I hope the movie doesn't suck #should I read SEH's other stuff? They all have such similar plots and themes. It's a bit of a turn off #but she is a good writer #and they say write what you know #and what better way for me to learn about the 60s (or her small town to be exact) then by reading all her books??? #Also unrelated but how do y'all feel about the label Devonians? Aspeeps is a joke obviously (can't exactly say it in serious discussions) #So I just feel like (especially if you guys go and read his other books. As you should) it'll be a great name. #I don't know maybe that's just me. Thoughts? #A separate peace #That was then this is now

[robotclownindulgence]

I have the stupidest fucking yugioh/transformers crossover headcanon that basically answers the question why machine and robot cards exist when the cards were supposedly based on ancient egyptian otherworldy monsters. And it's like what if a bunch of cybertronians were stranded in anchient egypt for a while and the yugioh egyptions saw them fight their little alien war in the desert and were like " oh those new ones look rad and i want them in my deck" and just added the to their list of otherworldly monsters

#i realized while typing that this comes dangerously close to the real life 'ancient aliens' conspiracy theory that sucks and is bad #it's fantasy egypt thought so i hope scifi creatures as opposed to magical creatures diesn #doesn't make too much of a difference #resi.txt

[nivq87]

related thoughts:

my butterfly chasing has me tinkering with my tumblr blog page, and it's a wip atm (the html needs a LOT of adjusting atm) and my about and tags pagers are pretty out of date. so, I'll try and work on that over the week I suppose

my complaining tag hasn't been used in a few years. at first I thought I was just trying harder to keep the negativity off my blog (which I also do) but then I was actually reading some of the posts and. oh gosh. those were some Big emotions I was dealing with. Glad to not be That guy anymore. Your 20's really just kinda suck, but since you're out of your teens it feels unfair because you should be Beyond such angst. but. nope. apparently it'll keep going a bit longer. Fascinating collection of posts over the years as a retrospective.

#ftr the complaining tag isn't and won't ever be listed in the tags page #while I'm working on these I might also go back and make them all nonrebloggable too #probably my covid whining could've gone in the complaining tag #but like it sucked but the timing of it was so atrociously bad I kinda also came back around to being funny. #one of those posts that i was looking through from when I was... I guess about 24ish? #idr what the context was but I was apparently mad at my family to the point of being invited to leave #and i elected to sit there visibly and uncomfortably seething so that my upset could be witnessed. #I just DO NOT have that kinda energy anymore lmao? #which is a relief #I don't think I'll ever Like my birthday but maybe now that I don't have the energy for such Big Feelings #about shit that doesn't actually matter. that maybe my birthday introspection can keep this kinda tone going forward. #I don't mind this kind of thing. it's interesting for sure to look back #but so many of my birthdays in my 20's I just was so depressed and those feelings of like #wasting my life away and not doing EVERYTHING #getting another ticker on my age tally right when the calendar really compounded that feeling #so many of those birthdays were spent on crying jags. like. covid. but I didn't cry this year! woo! and I just teared up slightly last year #growth! I hope! #why am i rambling

[regular-lord-reckoner]

.....................i just found out that none of the payments i've been making for my therapy appointments have been going to my deductible

awesome

love that

#i know i should have checked on this sooner but it's just been hard to get around to #and now i'm just confused like...where have all those payments been going then? #how are claims supposedly being filed and yet...my insurance doesn't have any? #whose insurance is it going to then? #sucks because i've been paying in cash too and don't have any bills of service #so there's literally nothing i have to show on my end that i've been doing my part #i just...am i being scammed? #i hope to god not because i really like my therapist but like...this sucks #i know her accountant had some family issues and was out for a while #which is also why i wanted to give her a minute to get caught up #but like...at this point what the hell #like i should probably be halfway through or at least have put a dent in my deductible #and once i meet that everything's covered 100% which would help me out a lot but like #i have a bad feeling we'll get this sorted out and the solution will be i just have to start over again #i hope to god not #or i may just have to stop going to therapy because this....sucks #also as an aside i've been super depressed lately and thought i'd cheer myself up by dyeing my hair and it.... #looks like absolute shit #i tried to just lighten it with powder and developer and all that instead of bleach because i thought it would be easier #and now it just looks awful and feels awful and i'm still probably going to have to bleach it anyway #awesome! #love that #love this situation #love being alive #love it all so much

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

i honestly don't care if you don't like star wars or aren't interested in watching it, but i swear to g-d nearly every single filmbro quote unquote 'so-bad-it's-good' quote unquote 'i'll watch anything for my hot dead actor fave' camp lover who acts like they're better than everyone else for not watching it just because it's a popular thing always end up being the most annoying and miserable motherfuckers on this here planet earth.

#here comes all the 'but it DOES make me better than you' comments. L + Ratio + not cute + i don't care + put some love in your heart. #myevilposts #'oh but star wars does suck' i wasn't saying it was good either. it has its bad moments for sure. bad entire sections. #but wasn't it you saying that you loved 'bad' films? #plus star wars 100% has it's 'so bad it's good' campy moments. if u weren't aware. #in another life a new hope was a standalone cult classic that has an online fandom-fandom of 50 people tops. #the original trilogy has more in common with the cult films you guys worship than the mcu and if u watched them maybe you'd see that. #'i'll watch anything for peter cushing' really. really. would you really. let's be real here. would you really. #L + Ratio + how deep is your love + i am feeling like holden caulfield in this tumblr.com tonight. #and i'm not like that person complaining about the serbian pigeon film. i love obscure cult foreign films. #i consider myself an intellectual. i enjoy such things as having critical thinking skills and analyzing shit films. #i also enjoy a popular series. you don't have to enjoy it too but it doesn't solidify your spot in heaven to hate on popular media. #and star wars is plenty deserving of hate. btw. but this holier than thou nonsense is getting on my nerves. #just say you don't wanna watch it and move on.

[hyena-frog]

I failed the driving test today :)))

#I was so close to passing #my brain feels like it's being boiled and grated like cheese at the same time #I'm amazed I did as well as I did #I would have passed but hesitated too long at a yellow light near the end of the route 😭 #it's nobody's fault but mine but my instructor berating me beforehand didn't help me have my head on straight that's for sure #she's always done that always lectures me about what I'm supposed to do like .5 seconds after I'm supposed to do it #give me time to turn the damn wheel before you yell at me to turn the wheel!!! #the trst proctor was cool tho because sje didn't say anything except where I should turn #what a shocker I do better when I'm not being yelled at #too bad about the failing mark #I was hoping to be done with this driving school and this instructor #that was nearly $200 down the drain #now I have to swallow my pride and call them again for a retest #because I don't have anyone to help me and go with me to the DMV for the test #I'm extremely '''late''' to driving but I never considered or realized how hard it would be to do all this the older I got #because everyone is busy with their own lives #and my family has either moved elsewhere or doesn't talk to me #this sucks :))) #it's expensive not having a family or lots of friends #what an unexpected lesson #my post #*not having a big family that's functional

[master-k0hga]

| ... Well, I WAS ok with this last night, but now I'm not entirely happy with this doodle...-

Oh well, not like they're the main focus on this blog, I'm mostly really focusing on my OCs and the other few personal projects here... Although doesn't help with Tumblr just no longer filtering themselves, showing off their true colours for the longest time and also jumping on the "AI" bandwagon too along with just being a dictated lot like the rest of the assholes who make up 100% percentage of all brands-

I'm just a fucking idiot who just wants to draw OCs, post random fcking art and show it off when I'm not fcking working and killing myself over a job that will never release me from the clutches of bullshit!

WHAT WAS SO. FUCKING. HARD ABOUT KEEPING ONLINE AS A DUMBASS PLACE WHERE THERE WAS NO PLAGIARISM, POLITICAL BULLSHIT FOR SITES TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AND FUCK THEIR OWN USERBASES. WHILE ACTIVELY CONTROLLING AND TAKING THEIR FREEDOM AWAY!

Not like we ever had freedom to begin with-

Twitter, Reddit, YouTube, DeviantART, Instagram, T- HERE! WHEREEVER FUCKING ELSE! Fuck all CEOs and teams of the online world, people just wanted ONE place where they could escape hells of reality even just for a LITTLE WHILE and NOW look what you did- Kill yourselves!! I fcking hate corporates I hate the rich I hate the system and I hate governments all around thr world, D I E ffs fuck humans and their greed I hope this shit ass race gets OBLITERATED with NO fcking trace of the human existence left!! Fucking disease, pests, a literal INFECTION of life itself!

Fuck you fuck you fuck you I hate this fcking world, do me a fcking favor and fcking blow up already!! I've had e-fucking-nough

. Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

#..... #AND FUCK YOU TOO!! #........ #MASTER-K0HGA #Ary / Kohga Chronicles #Ary / Kohga OCs and Works #....... #No I'm not gonna fcking tag this shit!! Why tf should I!? #Nobody fcking gives a shit. Let alone the people who are ACTIVELY GETTING MASSACRED TO OBLIVION AND BACK!! #Humans are a fcking selfish lot and you can see it with the cunts who run it! #The cunts we vote for are all vile and evil and desrrve to get shot and killed #The shit ass rich cunts who try to ''influence'' our way of thinking and speaking to benefit themselves #Make themselves more fcking richer or whatever. Dickheads dictating and controlling people's lives #Assholes being cunty assholes who also need to die! Fuck everyone who says the good outways the bad #IT FCKING DOESN'T AND YOU CAN STOP THAT DELUDED BULLSHIT!! HUMANS ARE NOT FREE #WE ARE LIKE ANTS!! WE ARE AN ANT COLONY WHO'S JOB IS TO WORK TIL WE'RE DEAD #THAT'S WHY EVERYTHING THE GOVERNMENT DOES IS TO NOT. BENEFIT. OR. HELP. US #CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL AND THEY JUST GO BACK TO THEIR FCKING YACHTS HAVING- #THE MOST EXPENSIVE SHIT ASS WINES AND DINES WHILE WE WORK OUR ASSES OFF TIL OUR BONES BLEED RED #TIL THERE'S NOT LEFT OF OUR MIND OR ENERGY TO THINK. SPEAK. LISTEN AND FIGHT FOR OURSELVES!! #THIS IS THE REASON WHY PEOPLE CRACK AND KILL EITHER THEMSELVES OR OTHERS!! #EVEN OUR FCKING HARD WORK IS BEING USED AND PROFITED AGAINST US. AND THERE ARE STILL #CORPORATE SHILLS WHO ACTIVELY SUCK THE OPPRESSORS DICK LIKE A LOLLIPOP. YOU'RE BEING UUUUSED!!! #I'M BEING USED. WE'RE ALL BEING FCKING USED AND PEOPE ARE TOO COWARDLY OR DELUDED TO SEE THAT #THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. ME. OR US. YOU SOLVE ALL ISSUES BY SNUFFING THEM OUT #KILL. THEM #YOU KILL THE OPPRESSORS. THE ONES IN CHARGE WHO USE FALSE HOPE IN EVERY WAY #..... YES I AM FCKING PISSED. I WOKE UP LIKE THIS!! #...... Anyways this is a fairly recent post so. I'm gonna get on with this little art spam for now. #It's been a couple months since I mentioned about it so.. Yeah whatever..

[l-e-g-i-o-n-losh]

Anyways what's a better one for opera #2 I'm unwilling to dismiss several centuries of art on one dud

#i wanted to like it bc i do like Mozart's other music (or at least i did when i was little?) and silly fantasy quest is right up my alley #but that was deeply unpleasant except a couple papageno himbo moments + queen of the night absolutely slaying #pamina im so sorry you cant live in a better story. hope the cult doesn't suck too bad

[meowingatthesea]

ajk;hfdiosa;hefk  okay we all know disability tax exists but like the complete mismanagement of the pandemic has really added another one, huh. looking to buy new, really high quality n95s for the summer cause i’m working at a location where i’m 100% going to be exposed to covid, and for 60 n95s (two months! of a four month summer contract) it’s ~$87. And I just have to pay this???? forever?????????? should i invest in like a reusable P100? it might be fucking cheaper long term, but they have replaceable filters so that’s also ridiculous. and like i wouldn’t be so concerned about proper fitting high quality n95s (i’d still wear a mask though) if the pandemic were under better control and everyone else was also masking and people still treated the pandemic like a current issue. I don’t have $87 to drop every two months on masks! but i also dont have however the fuck much to drop on a hypothetical hospital bill or new chronic illness that could arise from covid. so, y’know.

#and i really kinda regret taking this job #it's a job at a summer theatre #i signed the contract in january when i was like 'well the pandemic isn't gonna be over but summer usually sees lower covid levels' #i forgot about the utter disregard for the contiued existence of the pandemic in america #we COULD be at lower covid levels #if we had ANY MITIGATION STRATEGIES AT ALL #but i took the job cause i already am not doing any theatre this semester at school and i was like 'it'll be bad for my career to not do #theatre for so long' which like true #you know what would also be bad for my career? disability and/or death from covid #that might also be bad for my career #but too late! that fucking contract is signed! in a fucking state that has outlawed mask mandates so my workplace doesn't have one! sucks!!! #and a workplace that is bringing in like 170 seasonal employees #someone's absolutley going to get covid this summer #i just hope it's not me #it probably will be #ALSO after that i have to go back to school! and keep paying for masks when no one else is wearing them because my SCHOOL lifted the mask #requirement!!! because nobody gives a FUCK about the ongoing pandemic!!!!!!!!!! truly i am losing my mind and feel so unsafe all the time #and i hate it because i would be so much safer if everyone just like..... wore a mask and installed HEPA filters #but sorry public health is actually a personal responsibility onw #so you're all going to fucking suffer.

[vaniliens]

Im thinking back to that time in bali back in December when we were watching the tari kecak dance again,,,,, aughg

#nillas #it was great i loved it #i recorded the whole thing but it sucks #the guy in front of me kept blocking the view lol #but yeagh #i also like the story and everything but what stood out to me the most was the actors. and the roles they played. #because they casted two girls for the main straight couple. #I know for a fact that they did this because having the two be opposite genders would be too ''Scandalous'' #but at the same time??? #I dont know #sometimes i feel awful living here despite my nationalism fueling my determination *to* live here #but then theres these little glimpses false hope or not that gets me thinking. Maybe it isnt that bad. There's others. #you know unintentionally or not they still made it a queer narrative. Of a girl who fell in love and saved her fiancee from a big bad. #I know!!!! That its because of this!!! Pseudo purity culture thing but!!! IM CLENCHING MY FISTS HERE MAN. #THERES OTHER QUEER STORIES. I KNOW. THERE'S PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME AROUND ME. I KNOW. I'VE HEARD I'VE SEEN AND I'VE SPOKEN ABOUT THEM. #but it just doesn't hit as much as seeing it live on a stage with others. knowing the irony of it all. That this was an exception to most. #That Everyone knew why this happened and so they cheered and clapped and watched intently and for the first time it felt normal #to the eyes around them the spectators they interacted with SURE they didn't kiss or anything but it was still intimate!! #The Dance!!! Man;;;;!!!!! ITS A TRADITIONAL DANCE!!! IN THIS TRADITIONAL ASS COUNTRY!!!!! #MAN!!!! DO YOU GET IT!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!! #IM SO BAD AT WORDS BUT THIS IS JUST!!!! HHHHRHRHRHHHH HRRRRGGGGGGGHH #I FEEL LIKE IM INSANE FOR THIS BUT ITS THERE!!!! I HAVE THE GOD DAMNED VIDEO!!!!! #PEOPLE WHO HATEDDD LESBIANS PEOPLE WHO ARE DISGUSTED BY QUEERS!!! WE ALL SAT AROUND AND ENJOYED THIS UNDENIABLY #GAY ASS PERFORMANCE. AND THEY CAN SAY ITS BECAUSE DEPICTING A MAN AND A WOMAN WOULD BE GROSS ALL THEY WANT. #I DONT CARE. ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT JERRY.