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#hong joshua x male reader
astrozuya · 15 days
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☆ SUNDAY MORNING — hong joshua.
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⊹ . ♡ pairings. joshua x male!reader. fluff. 0.7k wc. warnings: established relationship. ࿐ ♡ ˚ .
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you've always secretly thought of joshua hong as perfect. logically, you know that humans are messy and imperfect despite however they might appear on the surface, but looking at joshua, you just can't see it.
maybe it's the rose tinted glasses of budding love painting him in a different light, but to you, joshua could never be anything but perfect.
it's a thought that often crosses your mind when you think about your boyfriend, and it's one that presents itself now, as he emerges from the bedroom and stands in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, smiling sleepily at you.
his hair is fluffy and mussed up, his eyes and skin lit up golden by the sunlight, and when he mumbles out a quiet, "good morning, sweetheart," his voice is a little hoarse and sleepy, though it still has that honeyed quality to it that you've come to know and adore.
you're so lost in affection for him that it isn't until he sits down on the couch next to you that you realize you haven't replied. "good morning," you say quickly, still a little distracted by how pretty he looks. shua likes calling you 'pretty boy', but in your opinion, no one could ever, ever beat shua at being pretty. the word was made for him.
joshua smiles mischievously at you and pulls you onto his lap. his shirtless chest and arms are warm as they close around you. he buries his face into the crook of your neck and mumbles, "what were you thinking about that had you so lost in thought, hm?"
you glance up at him, taking in the warm tones of his skin, the rich brown hues of his eyes, the way the sunlight filtering in through the windows dances across the lines of his face. "you."
shua laughs, a little flustered, and takes your hand in his, threading his fingers through yours. "your flirting is too much for me, prince, i'm swooning."
the nickname is one shua often uses for you, but it still has you melting. you avert your eyes from his and glance instead at the soft material of his sweatpants. "you're one to talk."
joshua grins at that and relaxes into the couch, tightening his grip around you. when you try and get up he frowns and pulls you closer, whining, "no, stay. for a little longer, okay?"
"but shua, it's—"
"sunday morning!" then he adds, "time to relax and cuddle with me. if you try and move, i'll start singing—"
"please, no." you reply flatly. you love shua's voice, but you've gotten sick of hearing sunday morning. you've heard him sing it so many times you could sing it in your sleep. "shua, i have to get up."
"nooo," he whines playfully. "stay, and then i'll make us breakfast later."
you level him with a serious look. "pancakes?"
he nods back, equally serious. "pancakes. with syrup and fruit and everything."
"hmm." you tilt your head to the side playfully, as if considering the offer, even though you know that there's nothing you want more than to stay close to him for eternity. "...alright then."
shua smiles smugly and presses a kiss to your exposed neck. "you look good in my sweatshirt, by the way."
you hadn't even noticed you'd worn his sweatshirt. maybe it had something to do with the uncomfortable restlessness and thoughts running through your head that caused you to wake up early. you'd grabbed his clothes to wear almost unconsciously, seeking comfort in the familiar softness, and the safe scent of joshua's clothes— sunlight and his strawberry shampoo.
"sorry," you start to reply, only for him to cut you off. "it's fine, love. like i said, you look good in it."
"thanks." then you smile at him. "you look good without it."
he gasps dramatically, looking down first at his shirtless chest, then at your playful smile. "y/n, i said i couldn't handle your flirting, are you trying to kill me?"
"but you're a bigger flirt," you counter. he hums and rests his chin on your shoulder. "only with you."
your gaze flickers up to meet his, and he leans in, lips slightly parted, his eyes shimmering with desire.
you angle your head up and press your lips to his, and his hand goes to rest against your back.
it's fine, you suppose. the pancakes can wait.
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notes: requested by @haocovr. this req was so cute omg, elio i hope i did ur request justice and that u liked this !!
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datingjaeminfr · 11 months
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+ ONLY FOR YOU + JOSHUA HONG
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PAIRING: Joshua Hong x Male Reader
GENRE: Smut
WARNINGS: Mentions of drinking, Rough sex, Dirty talk, Orgasm control
Summary: You told your best friend you weren't a sub for anybody. He made it his goal to prove you wrong in one night.
Note: I might not be able to post in half term if I'm busy but I'll try my best.
You and your friend Joshua had been drunk one night. Well, you had been drunk at least. Joshua was just a bit tipsy. He had asked you if you were a top or bottom out of curiosity, and possibly the crush he had on you. He hid it well however, asking you the question when you were off your head so as not to raise suspicion. You didn't want to tell him that you weren't dominant. It was embarrassing to you, so you lied, praying he couldn't see through it, "Of course I'm dominant. Always have been, always will be. There's not a single person in this world that can top me, make me submissive."
Your current situation was most likely a cause of being too arrogant. A few days later and here you are, getting your soul fucked out. Joshua held you down by your shoulder and waist. His hips slammed into you at a harsh, rapid pace. Your moans were loud and high pitched in tone. They forced themself out of you hoarse throat with every powerful thrust. Your body ached from what Joshua had done to you, flipping you into difficult positions. Your throat was sore from him choking you without mercy. Even when giving you hickeys he hurt you, biting you before or after, leaving deep red marks. You were pretty sure you had actually bled slightly from a few of them.
He stopped pounding you, flipping you over before fucking his dick straight back into you. The new angle allowed him in deeper than before. He began to hit your prostate repeatedly, causing you to bite your tongue to stop from screaming. The bed was rocking back and forth, hitting the wall with loud bangs and squeaking. For a second you were worried about the bed not being able to hold the both of you, but Joshua didn't leave you any time to care for that.
Your eyes were teary, the clear, salty liquid escaping your eyes every second, a new tear always replacing the one that had gone last. Despite all this, you enjoyed it. Your eyes rolled back, lids half closing as a dumb smile stretched across your face. You repeatedly screamed his name, no longer caring who heard you so long as Joshua gave you what you so desperately wanted. Your brain numbed, you could only stupidly say his name over and over as though it was the only word you knew. All you wanted to do was please him, no matter what he did to you to have that pleasure.
Your legs began shaking, signalling your orgasm was close. "Don't you dare cum." Joshua growled, going even faster. You were driven crazy at the new pace, wanting to come undone even more, "B-but-" He cut you off, "Tell me who you belong to and I'll think about it." You knew if you said the answer you were giving the last ounce of control to him. Your body begged you to give into your orgasm and ignore him, release your load against his order. Your sub side wouldn't allow it, instead forcing you to give into his demands. "Y-you, I belong t-to you."
You knew Joshua heard you but the man cruelly got you to hold in your fluids for longer, teasing you, a sadistic, almost inhumane smirk on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that love?" You repeated the sentence, screaming it out in desperation, your muscles burning from trying to stop your body shaking. He hummed in thought, taking his sweet time in deciding if he should let you release or not. "Joshua please! I've been good!" You begged him. "Cum with me then," he responded, finally letting your body relieve itself.
The orgasm you held for so long took control, body spasming. Your back arched as he filled you up, white blinding your vision as you released directly after him. Joshua pulled out, collapsing on top of you. You both lay there exhausted, sweating, as you panted heavily in an attempt to catch your breaths back. "You sure you aren’t a bottom?" Joshua got out between gasps of air. "Only for you," You murmured, blacking out as the recent events took a toll on your body. Joshua had done it.
He had proved you wrong in a single night.
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pandabunfics · 9 months
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SEVENTEEN Masterlist
Fluff - 💖 / Angst - 🧵 / Suggestive - 🎩 / Smut - 🐲
S.Coups
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
Joshua
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
Hoshi
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
Wonwoo
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
Woozi
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
DK
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
Mingyu
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
Vernon
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
Dino
Oneshots
Headcanon (Bulletpoints)
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woni33 · 6 months
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hello idk if anyone gonna see this but pls make svt joshua x male reader because i keep searching and all of it is just female reader and i hope some people will see this
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nunan-neomuyeppeoseo · 2 months
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sᥱ᥎ᥱᥒ𝗍ᥱᥱᥒ mᥲs𝗍ᥱrᥣіs𝗍
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⊹⊰ ᥴһ᥆і sᥱᥙᥒgᥴһᥱ᥆ᥣ/s.ᥴ᥆ᥙ⍴s ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ ᥡ᥆᥆ᥒ ȷᥱ᥆ᥒgһᥲᥒ ⊱⊹
୧⊰ 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 - 𝗒.𝗃 𝗑 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 - 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇
⊹⊰ ȷ᥆sһᥙᥲ һ᥆ᥒg/ȷіs᥆᥆ ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ ᥕᥱᥒ ȷᥙᥒһᥙі ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ kᥕ᥆ᥒ s᥆᥆ᥒᥡ᥆ᥙᥒg/һ᥆sһі ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ ȷᥱ᥆ᥒ ᥕ᥆ᥒᥕ᥆᥆ ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ ᥣᥱᥱ ȷіһ᥆᥆ᥒ/ᥕ᥆᥆zі ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ ᥣᥱᥱ sᥱ᥆kmіᥒ/ძk ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ kіm mіᥒgᥡᥙ ⊱⊹
୧⊰ 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 - 𝗄.𝗆 𝗑 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 - 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇
⊹⊰ ᥊ᥙ mіᥒgһᥲ᥆/𝗍һᥱ8 ⊱⊹
୧⊰ 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗵𝘂𝘀𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱, 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 - 𝗑.𝗆 𝗑 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 - 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇
⊹⊰ ᑲ᥆᥆ sᥱᥙᥒgkᥕᥲᥒ ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ һᥲᥒs᥆ᥣ ᥎ᥱrᥒ᥆ᥒ ᥴһᥕᥱ ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ ᥣᥱᥱ ᥴһᥲᥒ/ძіᥒ᥆ ⊱⊹
⊹⊰ ᥕһ᥆ᥣᥱ gr᥆ᥙ⍴ ⊱⊹
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toruro · 10 months
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— ✧ isohel
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i·so·hel (noun) a line on a map connecting points having the same duration of sunshine
pairing. hong joshua x reader
description. fairytales can be rather misleading, can't they? when you and your mother are ripped away from your life at the castle, you spend over a decade resenting the royalty. so naturally, when you find prince joshua at your doorstep, you’re more than eager to shut the door on him. but as your life takes twists and turns, you happen to find yourself in the arms of a man you never thought you'd have to see again.
genre. slowburn, modern royalty au, angst, fluff
tags. prince!joshua, developing relationships, slut shaming, allusions / references to greek mythology, dialogue heavy, implied se
fic playlist
w/c. 26.2k
a/n. lwk don't like the beginning but i swear it gets better🙄 thank u @cheolhub for beta reading & @jeonghantis & @gyuswhore for reading it over and helping out w this bc i think i was going insane over this story by myself >_<; ... i highly suggest listening to the song isohel by eden! it was a major inspiration for this whole story and i think it encapsulates the vibes really well c: hope u enjoy!
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The sound of glass shattering isn’t foreign to your ears.
It’s common in the sweltering heat of the summer when the air is hot and sticky. Maids running around to tend to the evenings balls and parties only for the sweat to breach their fingers and suddenly their stack of fine china goes tumbling to the ground.
A bed of hyacinths sits in front of you as you bring up the hose and spray them down, watching through the tinted glass as two male helpers rush to the woman on the ground, quickly helping her clean up the shards of glass.
Turning your attention back to the plants in front of you, you turn the hose off and roll it back into the corner as you skip to the end of the greenhouse where there’s your mother’s desk space. It’s a measly little space but she hardly sits there anyways, always tending to the gardens in the courtyards, leaving the floral and herbal greenhouses under your care while she’s away.
After all, your mother is a gardener and botanist in the Hong palace, and having been a trusted employee for the past half decade since your father passed, she exudes the little privileges of getting to bring her daughter to work.
At least that’s what you think, because you’re only nine years old and naive.
She teaches you well—you’ve only been accompanying her on the weekends when you don’t have school, but you’ve already picked up on how to tell the differences between an infected plant and an unaffected one, the characteristics of a good caterpillar and the characteristics of a bad one, the exact amount you should water each species, and exactly when you should let the vapor run down.
It’s easy work, and you love it.
You love sitting at your mother’s desk and imagining what it’d be like to be her—successful and working in the castle, doing what you love instead of working some stupid nine to five. You love looking out the glass of the greenhouses every few moments when you pause reading your book. You love the rare moments when you get to lay your eyes on one of the members of the royal family walking by.
You’ve started to pick up on their characters in the small frame of time you get to see them when they pass by. The Queen has kind eyes, the King is a bit intimidating, and Prince Joshua … Prince Joshua has soft features you can’t quite read.
“He’s only a year older than you!” one of your friends from school said when you told her that you stayed at the castle during the weekends to help your mother. “You should marry him and become princess!”
You had to push her away and watch her disappointed eyes when you told her that you hardly get to see him for more than ten seconds, even on the rare occasions that he crosses your vision.
The sound of glass shattering isn’t foreign to your ears, but hearing it more than twice in one hour does have some alarms ringing in your head. When you glance back up at the window, time stops.
Your mother is on the ground. Limbs sprawled out with eyes wide in horror, she scrambles against the rough stone path as a man looms over her. He dons a deep purple robe—the kind that belongs to the advisors of the Court—and your young mind races through the possibilities of what warrants the disgusted look on his face.
“Sneaking around with royal blood. Who do you think you are?”
A man watches, dark and brooding from the corner, and then you recognize him. Advisor Lee. He stops by the greenhouses sometimes—a high advisor of the Counsel and distance relative of the King’s. You’re nine years old and naive, but you are not dense.
Something had happened between your mother and Advisor Lee. Something tells you it’s more than you can understand, but in this moment, you feel you understand perfectly.
“You whore,” the man in the dark robes spits out, punctuating his disgust with a stomp of his feet right by your mother’s leg.
You’re only nine years old, but that is old enough to know that that is not a nice word. Nine years old, and you know that that means a very bad thing. Nine years old and when you look at your mother’s grief stricken face, you are certain that everything is about to change.
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Your house was always on the edge of the town. Before the affair between Advisor Lee and your mother, it was because she liked having the space to open a garden in your backyard. The city is crowded and full of bustling roads and buildings—it’s no fit for the small cottage that she wanted.
Now, after the affair, your house is on the edge of the town for a different reason.
The first day after your mother is fired from her position at the castle, you go to school with your head hanging low. It’s in the city, and for the first time in your five years of schooling, your mother tells you to go alone.
“I can’t—I shouldn’t drive you anymore,” she tells you as you pack your backpack. She walks you to the bus station and hands you a paper telling you which stop to get off at and how to walk to school from there.
You’re not sure what you’re expecting when you two walk up to the little stop by the street, but when you approach the small crowd of people waiting for the next bus to come in, their chatter hushes. Sparing glances at you and your mother, they whisper—some hushed, some blatant, some sad, some angry.
That’s where she stops and puts a heavy hand on your shoulder. “You can take it from here, yeah?” she asks, but you know it’s not really a question. Nodding, you slowly walk towards the crowd of people as the next bus parks in front of the stop.
You don’t turn around and look at your mother because you know that’d be a mistake. Instead, you let your neck droop, following the quiet crowd as they pile into the bus, clutching the strings of your backpack.
There aren’t any places to sit, so you reach for a pole but suddenly the bus starts and you lurch forward, falling to the ground. There’s black and brown dust on the palms of your hand as you push yourself up, no one saying a word or bothering to help as you keep your head down and grip onto a pole.
The knees of your stockings are dirtied, and it’s the only thing you look at the whole ride, it’s the only thing you look at when you silently take the walk to school, and it’s the only thing you look at when you make your way onto campus.
It’s the whispers again, and as you quietly sink into your normal seat, you hear them louder.
Did you hear about her mother? She isn’t allowed in the castle grounds anymore. What did her mother do? I can’t believe she showed up, I’d be crying at home. I wonder what she’s thinking—
Nothing. You think nothing when your teacher announces that class will be starting. All you focus on is the board and your notebook. You spend your recess and lunch at the school’s library, and as soon as the final bell rings, you scurry off campus and towards the bus station.
It isn’t like the morning—people don’t hush and stare, but nine years old is smart enough to know that it’s because they don’t know you’re your mother’s daughter. There aren’t any empty seats just like the morning but this time, a nice gentleman offers you his spot.
You can tell he isn’t so sure of his decision though, when you finally get off at your stop and you run off to your mother who’s waiting for you by the bench. From the corner of your vision, you watch the man through the bus window, jaw tight and gaze cold as he watches you slip your hand into your mother’s.
Your mother doesn’t talk on the short walk home. She doesn’t ask you about school and she doesn’t ask you about what the other kids said. You figure that she doesn’t need to hear it anyways, and so you purse your lips together.
You have a lot to get used to.
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Your life doesn’t change much, and you get used to it.
School days are spent with your head buried in a new book with every break you have. Your time at home is nothing but studying and your mother teaching you how to tend to the garden in your yard.
Soon you are graduating and moving on with your life as you make the transition to college, although you can’t say much changes. You study, you read, and occasionally you commission a project. It’s usually just renovating a citizen’s yard, sometimes it’s designing a public garden, but it’s never anything too serious.
Right now, you’re perched on a wooden stool, elbows leaning on the counter as you swipe your thumb over your tongue to flip the next page of your book. The paper is worn through, soft under your touch as a show for all it’s been through—bought second hand from your boss.
Your boss is a kind old man who happened to be a friend of your late grandfather’s, and when his little bookstore was teetering on the edge of being forgotten, you couldn’t refuse the offer to step in to work.
You’re around halfway through the book when you hear the familiar ringing of the bell above the door, head snapping up only to see your boss at the front door with a few envelopes in one hand, a plastic bag in the other.
“Holding up the fort, I see,” he greets with a low chuckle as you stand up and walk over, taking the bag from his hand to help out.
“As always, Mr. Min,” you reply, setting the bag of books down on the counter. “Are these—”
“They’re your mothers. I was walking by your house this morning and she asked me to take these and add them to our stock, since she said she doesn’t need them anymore.”
“Huh,” you say softly, taking out the various books about plants. “Not sure how big the market for gardening books is anymore, but I’m sure I can add it to our catalog after hours today,” you mutter, setting them on the table behind the register as he places the letters in his hand.
“Your mother also told me to give you this,” he says, his tone an octave lower as he plucks out one the envelopes and hands it to you. You knit your eyebrows together, wiping your dusty hands down on your pants before taking a look at it. “It’s from—”
“The castle,” you whisper, holding the envelope closer to your face to make sure you’re seeing it correctly. “Oh my god—it’s from the castle.”
“Yeah. Must be important if your mom felt the need to send it through me instead of just waiting for you to come home and take a look at it.”
“A-are you sure this is meant for me?” you manage to ask, flipping the envelope over a few times to make sure you read your name correctly.
“Yup,” Mr. Min replies, pointing down at where the intended recipient is listed. Sure enough, it’s your name listed in dark and bold ink in one corner, and then there’s that stupid royal emblem of the sun in the other corner.
Your heart sinks to your stomach at the possibilities of what could be inside, raking your mind for an answer. Was something wrong? Was it about your mother? Or was this just some big mistake?
Dear Madam,
The Hong Royal Counsel wishes to find you well, as we present a request.
Your reputation with your mother’s work as well as the operation of your own gardens throughout the city, along with your academic achievements at our very own Hong University have reached our ears, and we believe you possess the skills required for a special project we have in mind.
You will have the opportunity to lead this project as you please and earn a notable financial sum in payment for your efforts.
Please indicate your acceptance by replying to this letter at your earliest convenience. We eagerly await your response and sincerely hope that you will be able to grace our kingdom with your talent and presence.
Thank you,
Hong Royal Counsel
You don’t have to read the letter more than once before you scoff, tossing the crisp paper and letting it drift down onto the counter before muttering under your breath, “Who do they think they are?” Crumpling the envelope and letter up, you throw it down into the trash can by your chair.
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Knocks on your door aren’t normal. The delivery and mailmen know better than to do that, leaving your packages and mail by the doorstep and doing no more than that.
Knocks on your door usually mean Mr. Min is here for something—picking up some of the veggies your mother grew because the store prices are too high, dropping off a book, or indulging in some pleasantries and casual small talk.
It’s eight in the morning when you hear the soft rapping against your front door. Your mom is in the kitchen and your room, right next to the foyer, has walls thin enough to let the sounds through. You’re on your bed though, and it’s comfortable, warm, and it’s too early to be out and about anyways. You’ve just spent the past nine months laboring away at college, so you’re granting yourself these few moments of peace in the morning.
Pressing your head into the pillow, you try to drown out the noise of your mother conversing with Mr. Min this early in the morning. After you hear the door open, there’s a silence and for a moment, you think you’ve succeeded in plugging your ears well enough.
You’re about to smile to yourself and drift back into a heavy sleep before you hear a loud gasp.
It takes a lot to surprise your mother—you’ve come to learn that in recent years. It takes a lot to stun her, to have her gasp as you just heard. Scurrying out of bed, you press your ear against the wall in hopes to catch a glimpse of what’s going on.
All you hear is silence.
It hardly takes a second for you to shove off your blankets and throw yourself into the hallway, rushing towards the foyer where you see your mother standing in front of the open door. She stays unmoving and you wince for a few moments, eyes still adjusting to the morning light as you make your way closer to the door to see what exactly has her so shocked.
And then you catch it: a glint of that wretched, golden sun emblem stitched onto a purple velvet coat.
“What the f—”
Your mother’s hand flies up and grabs your wrist tightly. It’s the first time you see her move, and as she turns around to face you with dark, warning eyes, you press your lips shut as you glance over her shoulder. In front of your doorstep is a man you never thought you’d get to see in person again, not after that day.
Prince Joshua is just as handsome as the tabloids and social media make him out to be, and his presence in your life also seems to be equally infuriating.
“What is he doing here?” you hiss, pulling your mother closer to you so she’s close enough to hear you.
Her eyes are somber, and you silently wonder how she can be so calm, so docile, so—so tame. “They’re here for you,” she whispers, turning her whole body so her back faces the prince.
“What are you talking about? Why would—”
“The letter sent to you from the kingdom. I thought you told me it was a mistake.”
“It was,” you mutter, eyes glancing at Prince Joshua behind her. His gaze is averted, presumably out of respect for the conversation you’re having with your mother right now, but you can’t find it in yourself to appreciate him for it.
“Then why is he asking for your name?”
You gulp anxiously, eyes flickering between your mother’s eyes and the floor. “I don’t know.”
“Talk to him. It must be important,” she orders, walking forward and toward the kitchen and you grab her shoulder quickly.
“Are you kidding me? Why—why would I talk to him? Why would I talk to any of them?” you argue louder than you intended, and your mother swats your hand away sharply.
“They’re royalty,” she says, voice strained with caution.
“And? It’s not medieval times where they actually rule over us so—”
Your mother sighs heavily and then it hits you that no matter how much logic you try to expend, it’d be futile. “Talk to him. It isn’t quite like you have a choice.”
“You of all people shouldn’t put up with this,” you state and the second the words leave your lips, you regret it. Her face hardens and there’s a cold feeling that sinks in your stomach as she frees herself of your grasp and marches away.
You’re left watching her back fade into the rest of your house as your eyes are wide and you’re becoming increasingly aware of the presence of another person behind you. A person who is very important and very famous and very much a representation of all the things you loathe.
Turning on your heel, you don’t bother to push your lips up into a morning grin facing Prince Joshua with tired eyes and frown etched into your mouth. Taking a deep breath, you glance back at your mother who is in a far off room, deciding that whatever he needs to say to you, she doesn’t need to hear.
Slipping on some slippers, you quickly walk out of the house and close the door behind you, putting you right in front of Prince Joshua who waits for you with bright eyes.
“Hi,” he greets, voice airy and light as he takes a few steps back so he can bow, of which you begrudgingly return. “Sorry to bother you so early in the morning, I was just taking care of some work in the area and was told to stop by and talk to you about something.”
He sounds sincere, and his lips curve into a pleasant expression when he speaks, and you wonder if he’s plain stupid playing dumb to save you the humiliation of the situation—a royal prince speaking to the daughter of ‘a slut who seduced the royal advisor.’
So unable to decipher anything about his true intentions, you ask bluntly, “Is it about the letter I got from the kingdom two weeks ago?”
Prince Joshua chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and you catch the fancy white fabric of his buttoned up shirt underneath the coat. “I mean, yes it is and—”
You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “Why do you guys even bother sending letters? It’s the 21st century, you know? Emails exist.”
His face reddens, looking away before pursing his lips together. “Some things are just kept out of tradition,” Prince Joshua reasons quickly. “But I totally understand that, we’ll keep emailing in mind. But for the meantime, that’s, uh, kind of what I’m here for. We didn’t hear back a response, and I would like to take your answer back to the castle for you.
“Isn’t no response enough of a response?”
“Well—”
“My answer is no, if that wasn’t obvious,” you say, turning back to the door. “Is that all?”
“Wait!” he exclaims, grabbing your arm with his white leather gloves. It’s a bit surprising, really—he seems awfully timid for a prince and you’re a bit unnerved by how he hasn’t reprimanded you yet for being disrespectful. “Is there a reason why you don’t want to take on the job? If there are some specifics, maybe we can adjust the arrangement so it’s more to your liking.”
Your eyes widen, bewildered. “What? No I—I don’t care for anything like that, I won’t take the job.”
“Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine,” he mutters under his breath before his eyebrows knit together as he looks at the ground, seemingly trying to figure something out. “Is it the money? We can negotiate your salary,” he offers and you shake your head.
“No, it’s not the money—I don’t care about the money,” you say harshly. “It’s not any of that, I just don’t want to.”
“Can you tell me why? It’s just, I’ll have to report this back to the Counsel and if I’m not able to recruit you, they’d at least want some reasoning for why.”
Inhaling sharply, it takes all your self control to not let your eye twitch and slam the door in his face. “Are you really asking me why I don’t want to?” Pursing your lips together, you glare at him harshly. “You were there that day, weren’t you?” you ask more quietly, and for a moment you see Prince Joshua falter. “Not that I’d expect you to care but surely you can at least understand why I don’t want to.”
“I-I’m sorry, but I really can’t change the past.”
Scoffing, you turn on your heel and open the door. “I’m not asking you to.”
“Wait—just wait a sec’!” he calls out, stopping the door with his palm before you close it. “You’re in your second year at Hong University, right?” He doesn’t wait for a response before he continues. “We’ll pay for the rest of your tuition.”
The air in your lungs seems stuck for a passing moment, and you shake your head to yourself, stepping into your house and turning around one last time with cold eyes and a deep frown. “No.”
The prince looks around hastily before blurting out, “We’ll do all of it!”
“All of what?”
“We’ll pay for all of your tuition—reimburse you for what you’ve already paid.” You don’t care. You shouldn’t care. “All of it, plus your hourly wage,” he adds, and you don’t even have a chance to think before you feel your mother’s hand on your back.
“She’ll do it.”
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Your mother chuckles as she helps you tie the lavender colored robe around your waist. You’re not sure what she finds so funny about this, but you bite your tongue when you start to catch on how she ties the ribbons with such ease.
Over ten years of being away from the castle can’t erase the time she spent there, tying her own robe every morning before she was stripped of her title, and in turn, also the life she worked so hard to build up.
As you look down at the smooth fabric sent to you a week earlier from the castle, you’re forced to begrudgingly admire the intricate embroidery. The collar and ribbons are decorated with a darker purple stitching that runs in all sorts of twists and turns and swivels around the curves of your body.
“They’ve made them look nicer since I’ve last seen them,” she thinks out loud, matting her hands down your shoulders to smooth the fabric down one last time before taking a look.
“I don’t understand why you’re still so—” You inhale sharply and press your lips together, warning yourself to not say anything more when she shoots you a cautionary look. “Sorry,” you mutter, turning away so you can glance at yourself in the mirror. You do look pretty nice, if you had to admit.
“Just think about the money,” your mother encourages. “They’re covering the cost of all your schooling—all those days spent at Mr. Min’s can now go towards things you enjoy, rather than paying for your university.”
“I guess,” you grumble, adjusting your hair one last time before grabbing your phone and keys, walking towards the foyer.
“You know the way right?” your mother calls out as you slip on your shoes and walk out onto the front porch.
“I wish I didn’t,” is all you say, low and under your breath as you make your way to the car.
The castle lies in the heart of the city, so it’s quite the drive. You’re careful as you try to keep your robes clean, bunching it up to your thighs as you drive, and once you’ve made your way to the castle, you’re sure to make sure the hem of the bottom doesn’t hit the ground.
Reporting to the entrance that was given in your email (why they send emails for instructions but not the actual invitation to your job still remains a mystery to you), you carefully tuck your phone into a crevice of your robes.
The entrance starts at a gate on the east end of the castle, and you make your way to the little hut that sits at one end where a woman in a lavender polo and dress pants sits at a desk. Knocking on the window, you smile nervously as she looks up from her papers.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes!” you say, holding up your phone and pointing to your first day instructions. “It’s my first day here, and I’m not sure how to get inside and all.”
“Did they give you a code?”
“Uh, yeah let me check again,” you murmur, looking back at your phone to find the 5 digit code you were sent. “It’s, uh—32423.” The lady hums and nods, checking something on her computer before looking up at you with a smile.
“That’s correct. From now on you can just come through the smaller gate on the side—it should be to the left of this big gate, and just put in whatever code you have. It changes every few days but you’ll be notified with the new password every time it does.”
“Thank you,” you say, glancing over your shoulder to look at the gate she’s talking about.
“For now, just follow me. Since it’s your first day, I’ll show you the way to the … where was it you need to get to?”
“Right here it says the Advisory Quart?”
The girl’s eyes widen as she sits up from her seat and walks out of the hut, leading you toward the smaller gate. “Seriously?” she asks as she punches in the code, the gate automatically opening once she’s done.
The gate leads to a narrow pathway that runs slightly uphill in the midst of a lush field of trimmed green grass and sparse flowers that was previously hidden from you by the large stone halls. You remember the scene vaguely, but it’s a lot lovelier in person than you remember. Glancing up the pathway, you catch sight of the large castle in front of you, and the vision has an uneasy feeling floating in your stomach.
“Uh yeah, is that surprising?” you respond, hoping the small talk will distract you, even if it’s only a little.
“I mean the Advisory Quart is no joke. Those people work like crazy dogs—” she says with a laugh before looking at you with wide eyes. “Wait, I’m sorry—please don’t tell anyone I said that, they’ll—”
“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. But please do continue—what were you saying? I haven’t been in that castle in a long—I’ve never been to the castle before, so I’m not up to speed with all the different Quarts and sectors and stuff.”
“Oh well, it’s just that the Advisory Quart does a lot of work … I swear they’re always running around, talking about some new project they’re working on,” she says as you follow her up some steps, nearing an entrance to a building connected to the castle.
“What kind of projects?” you ask curiously.
“Oh gosh, everything, I tell you, they do pretty much everything. From helping the King with his own decisions to doing absolutely random, huge projects, there always seems to be someone who’s on top of everything. I remember I had a friend whose husband worked up there—they were working on designing a whole new ballroom and no one had any idea why! So what are you going to be doing there?”
Chuckling nervously, you aren’t sure if you should tell this girl that you don’t really know. “One of those random projects, I assure you,” you tell her because you’re pretty sure it’s true. After all, you’re almost positive they won’t have you be doing anything that’s worthwhile.
“Ah, well you’ll probably be swamped either way,” the girl says with a sigh as you reach a large wooden door. “Anyways, we’ll part ways here. Just go through these doors and there’ll be a big hallway. Ignore all the different corridors and doors on the side, and just go straight and you can see there’s an open room at the end of this hallway. That’s where your check-in will be, and the people there will direct you to wherever you need to go.”
You blink a few times, taking in all the information before nodding meekly, bowing and thanking the girl for her time as she walks away. Taking a deep breath, you open the door with a loud creaking noise, stepping into the grand hallway.
The walls are beige with ornate accents lining the bottom and top, intricate designs carved into the ceilings that hang chandeliers in intervals. Your sandals clack against smooth travertine marble as your eyes roam the entrances to different corridors and rooms, doors dark and wooden, similar to the one you just entered through.
There aren’t many people in the long hallways, passing by only a few others who seem to have their attention busied by papers or their phone. Some of them are wearing similar fashioned robes to yours, while most of the others are wearing the same lavender colored polo and white slacks as the girl who brought you here.
Smoothing the fabric below your waist one more time as you near the large open room you were directed to, you glance around and find a desk with a kind looking receptionist talking to a man wearing your kind of robes.
Quietly approaching the desk, you stand a few feet behind him, patiently waiting for them to finish so you can step up. Neither of them seem to notice, being caught up in a conversation that seems a bit of a mix of professional and leisurely.
Twiddling with your fingers behind your back, you rock side to side on your feet as you wait for the two to finish up talking about how they’re excited for the next ball that’s coming up, not bothering to think about who these people might be and why they’re even invited to it.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the man at the counter calls out, “I can help you.” He smiles and waves you over before nudging the other man on his shoulder. “Seokmin, go—you’re distracting me.”
The man he pushed is a handsome looking guy, light brown hair falling just above his eyes as he turns around and gives a small smile, stepping to the side but not fully backing away. “Ah, sorry about that. Go ahead, we were just catching up.”
“No worries,” you say quickly, walking up to the receptionist. “I’m here to find the Advisory Quart I think? I was told to report to this entrance, and the lady at the front told me to come here—it’s my first time here so—”
“Your first time in the castle?” the other man asks you with wide eyes.
“Uh, well—”
“Don’t mind him—Seokmin, you know better than to mess with the newbies,” the receptionist murmurs, and you frown at the word. He catches on and looks up at you, holding a hand out. “No offense.”
“N-none taken. So could you help me—I’m really not sure where to go.”
“Yeah of course. Does your email say who you’ll be reporting to?”
“It says here ‘Mr. Park.’”
“Oh okay, his room number’s going to be 77, right down that corridor right there,” the receptionist tells you kindly, pointing at one of the side hallways you saw while walking here. “Since it’s your first day, I’ll let him know that you’ll be coming down so he can be ready. I’m sorry, what’s your name?”
“Thank you so much,” you say bowing, quickly telling him your name. So caught up in the kindness of these peers, you almost forgot why you were so reluctant to come here in the first place, but no worries, this receptionist does a good job of reminding you.
His lips press into a thin line as raises a brow, asking you to repeat your last name again. When your answer slips from your lips, it’s much quieter. A heavy cloud sinks over you as you realize that even after years away, your family name is still tainted.
“Okay,” the receptionist finally says briskly, and you’re taken aback by how cold his voice has become. “I’ll let him know you’re coming down. You can proceed now.”
He doesn’t give you a ‘good luck,’ or a ‘have a nice day,’ or a ‘do you have any questions,’ despite his cheery attitude from before. Now he’s looking at you with an expressionless face and eyes that won’t meet yours as you shamefully turn away.
So caught up in the disappointment, you hardly notice how the other man—Seokmin—is still watching the scene unfold. As you walk away from the open room, there’s a hand on your wrist. Whipping around, you’re faced with a Seokmin whose face seems unreadable, just like the receptionists. Except something is … different. He seems sincere, and you feel safe.
“You might get lost trying to get there,” Seokmin says rather casually, letting go of your hand and walking next to you. “Come on, I’ll show you the way—I’m working under Mr. Park too actually, I’m his intern—so I know the way pretty well and can fill you in on what he’s like.”
You wonder why Seokmin isn’t acting like the receptionist. Your family name is still somewhat taboo in the city outside the castle, so you were pretty confident when walking into the actual place of the ‘crime scene’ that you’d be even more … generally disliked.
Seokmin seems to be different though, and you can’t quite figure out why.
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Seokmin lets you know Mr. Park is mean when he wants, which seems to be always. Direct with his words but also, you have to read in between the lines sometimes if you don’t want to get scolded. You’re not sure what to do with that information, because Seokmin doesn’t tell you much else.
You walk down the corridor with him before stopping in front of a wooden door to your right, labeled with that familiar sun emblem and a golden plated plaque reading ‘77.’ “C’mon, he should be in here right now,” Seokmin says, pressing against the frame and pushing the door open.
Inside is a room unlike the others you’ve seen before. The ceiling is much lower and baskets of plants hang from it, vines lining the limestone walls, and pots and beds of plants sit by the smaller desks that litter the area. There’s a larger desk at the end opposite to the door, and you see a man with grey hair and firm eyes sitting at the ornate chair, reading through a stack of papers.
“Ah, Seokmin,” he says, standing up when he notices the two of you by the door, and it’s not you realize that this man is Mr. Park. Both you and Seokmin bow hastily. “I was waiting for the two of you to arrive.” His gaze then turns to you, and it’s sharp. “What took you so long?” His tone is harsh and you almost wince. “It isn’t your first time in the castle,” Mr. Park says bluntly, and for once you are taken aback because no one has addressed the cloud hanging over your head so directly yet.
“I’m sorry sir, I haven’t been here in—”
“No excuses. Don’t be late again.”
“Y-yes sir,” you reply meekly, faltering in your step a little.
Mr. Park sighs heavily and looks at Seokmin, waving him off. “Go to the Ballroom and ask around to see if they need anything for tonight. Don’t be slow like last time.”
“Yes sir! Right on it,” Seokmin says with a nod, quickly turning on his heel and scurrying out of the room.
“And for you …” Mr. Park mutters as he takes in your figure with an unnerving look on his face. “I need you to lead a project.”
Your eyes bulge out of your head. “Lead a project? I don’t even know what—”
“Word has it that the Prince himself had to bribe you with a whole four years of Hong tuition to get you here. Surely you didn’t think you’d be given light work.” people knew about that?
“Well, I didn’t know much about anything and I don’t even know what work I’m supposed—”
“You’ll figure it out, soon enough,” Mr. Park tells you briskly, walking over to his desk where a large chalkboard sits to its left. Using a stick, he points at a word written in a corner. Garden. “The Queen has a courtyard that she no longer likes the look of. It’s been stripped down, and you’re in charge of turning it into a garden of her liking.”
You knit your eyebrows together. “A-a whole courtyard?”
Mr. Park raises a brow. “Are you saying that it’s too much for you?”
“N-no!” you exclaim quickly. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. I don’t get why I would be chosen to do this.”
Mr. Park huffs, and you wonder how such a tiny old man can fit so much sass in him. “If you must know: the Queen loved how your …” he pauses and within a fraction of a second you have a feeling where this is going, “… your mother designed the gardens on the West end.”
Mr. Park walks towards his desk and sits down, not looking at you as he cards through a few binders. “The Queen wants a similar style for this courtyard but since we can’t exactly have her back …”
You wince for real this time as you conclude, “… you tried to get the next closest thing.”
Mr. Park nods, not returning a snarky comment this time, much to your pleasure. “I’m the head of Design & Architecture, by the way, if you have any questions ask me—as long as it’s not stupid. You lead your project—design it and plan it. When you need people to work on it just talk to Seokmin and he’ll assign someone. You have three months to finish it. If you need an extension, you’ll have to get it approved by me.”
“Okay,” you respond quickly, trying to take in all the information at once. “Is there, like, a theme? Anything she wants in particular?”
“That’s a stupid question,” Mr. Park says bluntly and you frown as he points at a desk behind you. “Your desk is there. Any information you need will be there.”
“Y-yes sir, thank you,” you say, bowing and turning on your heel to sit down at your new chair. The desk is dark, wooden, and completely barren except for a thin folder set in the middle. Opening it, there’s a single paper inside with only a few bullet points typed out, and it hardly takes you a moment to read through all of it.
It’s vague—your only real requirements are the adherence to the kingdom’s symbolic purple colors, and inclusion of a general theme throughout the courtyard.
You furrow your eyebrows at the lack of guidance—were you really left to make such major decisions about such a large space in a castle you haven’t been in years? There’s so much room for error and disappointment and rejection, and after the past years of being treated like your family was nothing but a mistake, you aren’t sure if you can handle any more of it.
Closing your eyes, you absentmindedly nod to yourself in a silent promise. Closing the folder, you stand up. “Mr. Park, sir, do you know where the courtyard—”
“There is a map on the wall. Figure it out.”
You huff, glancing at the large map of the castle next to the chalkboard. This is going to be harder than you thought.
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You run into Seokmin just as you leave 77, and he helps lead you to the courtyard. “So you’re working on this one, huh,” he says under his breath as you both appear in front of a large plot of land surrounded by castle buildings on all sides. You’re both standing on the East entrance to the courtyard, and there are four adjacent and opposite entrances on all other sides.
“Uh, yeah,” you say steadily, glancing back down at your minimal instructions before looking back up at the courtyard. It’s a square, and if you had to estimate, each side would be around 50 yards long, leaving quite a great deal of space for you to work with it.
“Pretty big project, huh,” Seokmin says, although his tone seems much more lighthearted than your mood. How the hell are you supposed to transform this in three months?
“Yeah,” you mutter, squinting at the bright sunlight as you analyze the plot.
“You know, I can totally help if you want,” Seokmin begins to say, and you take note of how quickly he talks. “I don’t know if Mr. Park told you but you can basically ask me for help on anything and like, I’m really doing this whole interning thing for fun—” Who the hell works as an intern for Mr. Park, for fun? “—so I’d be happy to help.”
“Thanks. I’ll ask if I need anything.”
“Great!” Seokmin cheers, clapping his hands together before looking behind your shoulder and letting his smile brighten. He waves at someone behind you and you purse your lips together, wondering if you should brace yourself for yet another salty interaction.
“Minnie!” a deep voice greets and suddenly, your feet seem glued in their spot. You know that voice.
“Shua, hey!” Seokmin says cheerily, and you silently cringe. “Crazy running into you here, gosh, I haven’t seen you since last week!”
Prince Joshua laughs, and it reminds you of all those years ago when you watched him from inside the greenhouse. You hate how you remember.
“Yeah, my fencing instructor let me off earlier so I thought I might browse around the castle for a bit,” he explains, and when it all goes quiet and you realize that he must be looking at you, but you don’t dare to turn around.
“Oh,” Seokmin exclaims, as if he’s just realized that he forgot something. You feel a tapping on your shoulder, and for a second you debate just running the other way and never letting yourself return to the castle but for something, you’re planted in your place. “Hey, look,” he says quietly in your ear, “It’s the Prince.”
Like you don’t fucking know that. Nodding, you slowly follow his lead and turn around, eyes trained on the ground as you bow.
“Oh, well if it isn’t that little ray of sunshine,” Prince Joshua says, and it takes everything to not let your eye twitch as you finally look up at him. He’s wearing the same royal uniform you say to him when you showed up on his doorstep and his eyes are crinkled as he smiles widely.
Your face burns as Seokmin’s eyes flicker back and forth between you, and your lips are pressed together in an awkward silence. “You know each other?” His face displays nothing but perplexion for a few moments but then it seems that some of the cogs turned and his lips open wide into a large ‘o,’ and Seokmin waves his finger while nodding. “Oh you’re the girl Shua said he had to offer four years worth of—”
“Seokmin,” Prince Joshua interrupts, putting his hand over his friend’s mouth after catching the look of mortification on your face for bringing it up. “Mr. Park was calling you, I’m pretty sure.”
“Ugh, are you kidding me? I thought this would be fun for the summer but he actually has me doing stuff!” As the two converse casually, you wonder how hard it’d be to quickly slip away.
“Not sure what you expected,” Joshua chides his friend before Seokmin groans and you hear the heavy footsteps of him walking away. He calls out your name once and your eyes shoot up as you bashfully wave your hand at him, bidding goodbye.
You’re left in this corridor with the empty thoughts in your head and the goddamn prince of the kingdom. You half expect him to just wave at you and go about his own business, but it seems like you still have a lot of learning to do.
After all, Prince Joshua is a fickle man. “It’s nice to see you again, Sunshine,” he greets, and you think you might pass out from embarrassment. Glancing around, you see a few maids overhear him using the name and murmuring their own whispers amongst themselves as they rush away.
“H-hi,” you say nervously, suddenly aware that much attention is on you now that the prince is speaking to you.
“So this is what you’re working on?” he asks curiously, not paying a single mind to your awkwardness, walking toward the door which leads to the East entrance to the courtyard.
“Yes sir,” you murmur. You could be snappish outside the walls and in the boundaries of your own home but here, you’re bound by royal courtesy and witnesses that surround you. Compliance is all you can manage out in the open.
“Don’t call me sir—you’re around the same age as me, so it feels weird,” Joshua says dismissively, and you furrow your brows at how casual he’s being. “So,” he starts, looking out at the empty yard of dirt, “you got any idea of what you’re going to do with it?”
“Not a clue,” you reply honestly, keeping your answers brisk. Joshua seems to catch on and he pouts at you. How can a man act so childish? The thought lingers in your head for a moment before he starts talking to you.
“So cold. Brighten up Sunshine. I’ll stop in soon to see how it’s going here—I’m interested!” he says cheerily before stepping back and nodding. You bow as he walks away, waving to you one last time before leaving you in the corridor with not a single thought in his mind.
There seems to be a distinct odd air around the prince, except you can’t quite place why that is.
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It’s been three weeks since you started working at the castle—time passes quickly when you have loads of work to do and not much time to do it. You spent the first week hunched over at your desk simply raking your mind for ideas, for anything that would give you even a smidge of inspiration.
77 is rather sparse. It’s only really you and Mr. Park actually working in there, with the occasional Seokmin running in and out to tend to everyone’s miniscule needs.
And then there’s Jihoon, who is the only other person who actually works at his desk, even if it’s only for an hour a day. Jihoon is slightly brooding and always has his nose buried in some work, but he seems standoff-ish to just about everyone. He isn’t unkind though, just … just reserved, and you feel thankful that there’s another person somewhat like you here.
77 is kind to you and your heart. Everyone works on their own schedule and is in their own head, and no one seems to treat you extraordinarily different. You wish the same would go for the rest of the castle.
On the second day of your work, the embroidered name on the fabric over your right breast was clear enough for people to start learning who you were and recognize your face.
But you’re used to the stares—both the subtle and obvious ones—and you are used to the whispers, the guessing games about whether or not you’re a slut just like your mother was.
You’re not, by the way, but you’ve had enough experience with these kinds of people to know that they can guess all they want but you know the answer, and the truth will come to light at some point. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, they'll figure it out on their own. Eventually.
By the second week, you figured out a plan and needed to get to work on executing it. Seokmin seemed to be pleased when you asked him for help on that.
“I need people who can build a pathway,” was all you needed to tell him and then he was on the phone, and then the next day you had ten men ready for you by the dirt field ready to work. “I want stone tiles and it needs to curve exactly like this,” you told them, showing them a scaled down map of the area with a long, curvy line running from the North to South ends, and another even more curvy one running from the East to West end.
They didn’t ask questions, which you’re grateful for, because coming up with it was a whole feat on its own. Explaining it would be a whole other story.
As you walk up to the castle’s entrance today, you catch sight of a girl who sits in her little hut in front of the East gate. She’s the same girl who helped you on the first day, you realize. She was kind then, you remember, but now as you meet her gaze, she turns away and pretends to go back to her phone.
You don’t frown or let the gesture sear your heart because in all honesty, that’s exactly what you’re expecting. Sighing, you make your way to the smaller gate and walk the small way up to the actual castle grounds before heading straight to 77.
Jihoon is sitting at his desk but is just about to get up, sending you a quick nod as he stacks his files and walks out of the room. Mr. Park isn’t here, for once, although you did overhear some information about a ball happening tonight so you figure he must be busy.
You’re thankful Seokmin is here, and you catch him watering one of the plants. “Hey, what are you doing?” you ask him hastily, walking up behind his back before grabbing the watering pot from his hands.
“Um … watering … the plants?”
“These are yarrows,” you emphasize, pointing at the white flowers he was just watering.
“Okay … I am really not sure what to do with that information,” Seokmin says slowly as if he isn’t quite processing your words.
Huffing, you tell him, “Yarrows don’t need a lot of water. You aren’t watering them … I think a better word would be drowning.”
“Oh,” Seokmin mutters, looking down at that pot that’s now rich with soaked soil. “Sorry, I, uh, didn’t know,” he apologizes, and you purse your lips together because he does sound sincere.
“It’s okay … sorry for being mean about it,” you add quietly, returning the pot to his hand. “I can send you a list later—of all the plants here and how much water they need.”
Seokmin’s ears perk up. “Really? Thank you, but you seriously don’t have to, you know.”
“I know, but I enjoy talking about plants and stuff. And I’d rather the ones in this room be taken care of nicely, so the least I can do is help you,” you offer before retreating to your desk. “I think I need your help by the way, so can you come with me?” you ask, pulling out a measuring tape from a drawer.
Seokmin nods, dropping the watering bucket by his own desk and following behind you as you leave the room. The journey from the Advisory Quart to your courtyard, which is located near Royal Residence Quart, is quite the walk, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little bit pleased that you had someone like Seokmin as company.
“How’s the project turning out?” he asks as you make your way down the long hallways. You catch a few other workers spare the two of you glances and you try to hold your head up and look forward when you respond.
“I’m a little behind,” you admit. “But the construction manager told me that they should be finished with the pathway today, and I asked them to start tilling some other parts of the field so I can get some flora in there soon.”
“Oh really That’s nice—I stopped by the place just the other day and the pathway was looking pretty cool—the color fit in really well.”
“Hm, that’s good … I was worried about that,” you murmur to yourself thoughtfully, pulling out your phone so you can glance at the list of things you need to get done before heading back to 77. Tucking the device back into a crevice of your robe, you smile as you near the East end courtyard entrance. “I gotta get a plaque up here or something,” you remind yourself, looking at the empty space above the entrance.
“You want me to get on that soon?” Seokmin offers and you shrug.
“I guess. I’ll still have to come up with a name for this place …” you say, walking into the courtyard.
“Wow,” Seokmin mutters as he follows behind you. “The pathway looks great!” He pats your back and you throw him a small smile when you look over the two twisting paths that connect the 4 ends of the courtyard. “What was it that you needed my help with again—Oh hey! Shua!”
Oh for fuck’s sake—
“Seokminnie!” that familiar, smooth voice appears from behind you as Seokmin turns on his heel and scurries toward his friend. Slowly and carefully, you tuck your hands behind your back and bow when you turn around and are met with the sight of Prince Joshua. “Sunshine,” he greets with a smile after exchanging his casual pleasantries with his friend.
“Good morning sir,” you murmur as Seokmin bounces up and down on feet from a newfound excitement. How does he have this much energy at nine in the morning?
“I thought I said don’t call me sir,” Prince Joshua tells you, scrunching his face up when you let the word slip from your mouth. “Feels weird.”
“I’m sorry but you’re kind of the prince. I don’t think there’s anything else for me to call you other than ‘sir,’” you huff lowly before slapping a hand over your mouth. You’re not scared of what Joshua might do, per se, but the thought of someone else overhearing your snarky remark has you reminding yourself to be more careful.
Joshua only chuckles. Is there anything that bothers him? “You’re funny,” he comments. “You can call me Joshua, like Minne over here,” he tells you, patting Seokmin’s shoulder affectionately.
Your face sours and you shake your head, “I’m sorry that doesn’t feel right.”
Joshua rolls his eyes playfully, choosing to ignore what you said and instead looks around the courtyard. “Nice pathway. It’s cool that it isn’t straight—is it supposed to be something?”
“Sort of,” you say, turning around to look at the stone on the ground. “It’s confusing.”
Joshua scoffs. “Try me.”
You furrow your eyebrows. Why Prince Joshua—or as he would like you to call him, just Joshua—is so curious about a random courtyard is beyond you. “They’re just lines that follow the movement of sunlight. I guess. I don’t really know how to explain it.”
“That’s cool,” Seokmin chimes in when he sees you pulling out a roll of measuring tape. “Oh yeah, sorry, I didn’t get to hear what you said you needed help with.”
“Oh yeah, I just want to measure a—”
“Sorry for interrupting,” Joshua says, and you frown when he pulls out a buzzing phone, holding it up to Seokmin’s face. “What did you do this time—why is Mr. Park calling me?”
Seokmin’s eyes widen in panic as you watch the scene unfold. “What?! I haven’t done anything wrong recently. Well I don’t think I did and I’m pretty sure—”
He’s cut off by Joshua pressing his finger over his lip, effectively shutting him up. You almost laugh at the way Seokmin complies so quickly, but hold it back as Joshua holds the phone up to his ear. The sounds that come from the call are muffled but you can vaguely make out the voice of your boss before Joshua sighs and ends the call.
“What are yarrows and what did you do to them?” he asks his friend, and this time you actually do stifle out a giggle. Joshua glances at you as you quickly press your lips back into a fine line, both of you turning your attention back to Seokmin whose ears are turning bright red, shoulders tensing up.
“Oh no—I really don’t want another scolding!” he whines.
“Well buckle up, because he’s asking for you back at 77 right now,” Joshua shrugs as Seokmin huffs, stomping off back into the corridor and presumably back toward the Advisory Quart. “Sorry,” he says, turning to you, “I keep sending your assistant away when you need him.”
“It’s fine,” you say gruffly. “I, uh, I can still do this all by my stuff so it’s not really a big deal.”
Joshua narrows his eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t have fencing for another …” He glances down at his star studded wrist watch for a second, “… thirty minutes so I can help out.”
To say you’re mortified by the offer is an understatement. A prince helping out you? He must be fucking with you because—
“Stop giving me weird looks. I know how to help out around here, you know?”
“Duly noted, but I’m not sure how it would look on my end if the prince was helping me out with—” you gesture to the field around you, “—yard work.”
Joshua laughs, and once again you’re left in perplexity. “Weren’t you the one who reminded me that this is the 21st century? I don’t just sit around and do nothing, you know that right?”
“But still,” you mumble.
“Okay fine. If you’re so obsessed with this royal hierarchy thing, then I, as Prince Joshua, am officially requesting you to let me help. Surely you won’t turn that down.”
This man is so weird.
“Fine,” you relent, holding up the measuring tape. “You see that little circle in the middle where the pathways sort of curve around? I need to measure the circumference of it.”
“That’s it?” Joshua asks casually, grabbing one end of the measuring tape as you make your way to the plot. “Oh, I mean I guess it’s kinda big,” he adds, glancing down at the measuring tape. This one only goes up to 15 feet.”
“You’re right,” you mutter to yourself. “Okay here, let’s just use this,” you say, pulling out a roll of thin string and handing one end to Joshua. “If you stand here I’ll just circle it around and measure the length of the string,” you explain, unraveling the roll and walking around the outer edge of the circle, trailing the string behind you.
Joshua just stands in the spot that you placed him, holding the string and frowning. “I feel like I’m not helping much.”
“Trust me,” you reply under your breath. “You’re helping me just enough.” You don’t mean it to come out bitter, but it does anyways.
“What happened to all the royal hierarchy stuff that you were on about?”
Your eyes harden on him as you’ve made it halfway around the length of the circle, pausing to make sure he notices your subtle glare. “If you didn’t know, this is kind of my job on the line, and while you’ve made it clear that what I say doesn’t affect you, I’m not sure the same could be said for what other people see. So I’m sorry if I don’t want people looking at us and getting the wrong idea.”
“What do you mean the wrong idea?”
Huh. And here you thought that with all those royal tutors, the prince would be smart. Too bad for Joshua, but right now, he’s coming off as just about the densest guy alive.
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You’ve been working at the castle for five weeks now. Since your last meeting with Joshua (he insists you get rid of the ‘Prince’ and ‘sir’ so diligently now that even in your head, you’ve removed him of those honorifics), you’ve only seen him twice.
The first was three days after he helped you measure the length of your soon to be pond. You were on the phone with a construction contractor in 77 when Joshua popped in to say ‘hi’ to Seokmin (how and why the two are friends, you don’t know, and you don’t care enough to ask). Noticing you were here past the regular working hour of six, he waited for a few moments to let you finish up your call before walking up to your desk.
“You know you don’t get paid overtime, right Sunshine?” he asks, confused on why exactly you were still here.
“Well work needs to get done,” you sigh heavily, taking a few seconds to clean up your desk and throw away a few old designs you sketched earlier.
“Hey, those looked cool, why’d you trash them?”
“They didn’t work,” you tell him, rummaging through more papers to find the few that you actually wanted to keep.
“Told you,” Seokmin comes up from behind Joshua, patting his shoulder. “She’s a tough judge—even on herself.”
“I get what you mean now,” Joshua murmurs, nodding along with his friend.
Your eyes snap up. “Why are you talking about me as if I’m not here—wait, why do you guys talk about me when I’m not here anyways?”
“You’re like the only one that’s nice to me in 77! Well, sort of,” Seokmin reasons with you.
“I mean you do kind of suck as an intern—”
“Hey! I just happened to get distracted a lot. I’m an honest worker, trust!”
You huff, finally finding the paper that you were looking for. It’s a design for a couple plaques that you want posted above the entrances, and you tuck it into a folder.
“Is that in Latin?” Joshua piques when he catches a glimpse of the wording.
“Uh, yeah—you know Latin?”
“He’s a prince. Of course he does,” Seokmin tells you, turning around to nudge his friend on the side. “This spoiled brat has been learning Latin since he was six!”
Joshua scoffs. “Who’re you calling a spoiled brat? You were in those classes with me too!”
You consider wondering about who exactly Seokmin is and why he was in those classes with a prince, why he’s so close with Joshua, and a plethora of questions run through your mind, before you remind yourself that you really don’t care.
“Yeah but—” Seokmin tries to reason with his friend before you stand up and both of their attention are directed at you.
“You’re right Pri—Joshua. I don’t get paid overtime, so I’m gonna get going now.” You bow at him and then Seokmin, grabbing your folder and bag before pushing in your chair and heading to the exit. Awkwardly, the two boys say bye to you before glancing at each other.
“That was weird,” Seokmin says, and Joshua shrugs.
“I guess.”
“Did you actually understand what she wrote or were you just bluffing? I don’t remember shit from those Latin lessons.”
Joshua rolls his eyes and nods. “Yeah, but I only got the second word. Said ‘invictus,’ I think.”
“Huh, cool. Got no clue what that means.”
“It means undefeatable, dipshit,” Joshua groans. “Seriously, how’d you pass that class!”
“Hey, I was a great student—I just have, uh, bad memory,” Seokmin pouts.
“Yeah I can tell … seriously, how did you manage to fuck up the yarrows even after she,” Joshua gestures behind him as if to point at where you exited just a few moments earlier, “sent you all those instructions and all!”
“God, don’t remind me. I actually feel really bad, ‘cause Mr. Park yelled at her too for giving me ‘the wrong instructions,’ but I really just forgot what she told me.” Cringing at the mental image of both you and Seokmin being scolded by Mr. Park, Joshua shakes his head—that is not a pretty scene.
Joshua sighs, the two of them making their way out of the empty 77 and walking down the corridor towards the Royal Residence Quart. “Why’re you even interning for him? You don’t need a job, especially not as one being an assistant.”
“My dad’s pissed at me, remember?” Seokmin tells his friend gruffly, and Joshua purses his lips at the mention of the older man.
“Right.”
“Wanted to punish me for the summer or whatever, but I guess it’s not too bad. The staff are actually pretty funny, and your Sunshine girl is really bossy so she gives me a lot of work to do.”
“I can’t tell if you’re complaining or celebrating.”
“Both, I think,” Seokmin replies, the two of them laughing together. “Why do you talk to her so much? She’s even snappier to you than to me, and trust me, I can be pretty damn annoying.”
“Like I don’t know that,” Joshua mutters teasingly, earning him a punch on the arm. “But anyways, she seems interesting. Like cool, you know what I mean.”
“I guess,” Seokmin says absentmindedly. “Wonder what my dad would say about that.”
“Okay well your dad isn’t the King so I don’t really think it matters what your dad says about it.”
Seokmin raises a brow. “You sure? My dad almost had me transferred out of 77 because he heard I had to work with her.”
“Well that’s his own problem I guess. Just don’t let him bring it up with my dad because I’m not keen on having any more drama in this castle,” Joshua mumbles, stopping in front of the big door that leads to the residence.
Seokmin nods at one of the guards standing by the door, and she presses a code to a small box on the wall and the doors open. “You coming? Dinner’s about to be served,” he calls to Joshua when he walks forward but realizes his friend isn’t by his side.
Smiling, Joshua shakes his head and waves Seokmin off. “I’m gonna take a breather for a bit. Tell them to start dinner without me.”
Seokmin laughs. “You know they won’t do that.”
“I know, I know, but it’s the gesture that counts anyways. I’ll be back in twenty, trust.”
The second time you saw Joshua was yesterday evening just as you were just leaving 77 to head home, your arms full of papers to look through in the night. After getting the pathways cleaned up, you needed to work on adding more structures to the courtyard, but were at a loss of what to make and what to make it with.
With your stack of papers that were littered with different possible materials and architectural structures that you promised yourself to get through by the end of the night, even if it meant pulling a whole damn all nighter.
“Is Sunshine leaving at a normal time for once?” Joshua asks with a faux gasp as he comes across you in the hallway.
With the paper’s digging into your arms, you can only manage to grunt out a short, “Thankfully, I am,” before increasing your pace so you can get all this stuff to your car as quickly as possible.
“Hey, wait!” Joshua calls out from behind you, and you almost whine because your arms are killing you and you aren’t sure how much more of this you can handle. “Do you need help? I can—”
He’s cut off by the sound of your phone slipping from your pocket and crashing to the ground. “Shit,” you whimper under your breath as you try to balance all the papers on one hand while crouching down to pick up your phone with the other. You’re wobbling under all the weight, and you have half a mind to give up right here and now but then a larger hand is pushing itself into your vision.
“Here,” he says, quickly turning over the device to check for any cracks on the scene. In that fraction of a moment, your phone turns on and flashes your very bright and very embarrassing lock screen. Your face burns as you snatch the phone from his hands and tuck it back into your pocket. “Is that Percy Jackson?”
Adjusting the papers in your hand, you shuffle your feet and start walking toward the exit. Joshua follows, as expected. “Uh, yeah—I know it’s embarrassing but—”
“Uh, you did not just say that,” Joshua scoffs, and when you catch the oddly offended look on his face, your annoyance dissipates for a moment. “Percy Jackson is not embarrassing. Those books were like the defining character of my pre-teens.”
You chew on your lip, wondering how you should respond to this. “That’s cool. I used to like the stories too …”
“Seems like you still do, considering it’s like, your lock screen and all.”
“Look, I just have it ‘cause it looks cool,” you tell him bashfully, speeding up the pace of your steps in hopes that it’ll bring this conversation to end faster.
“Uh yeah, sure. Totally believe you.”
“I’m serious,” you huff. “I liked the books ages ago, but now I’m only interested in Greek mythology. It just so happens that the best art of Greek gods comes from Percy Jackson fan artists.”
“Sure. sure,” Joshua says blankly with a smirk teasing at his lips. “Again, totally believe you.” You don’t know why his subtle teasing has you gripping onto your papers so tightly, why it has you gritting your teeth together. And then you remember who this is and it all makes sense.
Joshua is playful and lighthearted, but he is still the Prince, after all.
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Your sixth week at the castle, and you’re nearing the halfway mark for your project’s timeline. You’ve spent the past week working on getting some stone benches built into the courtyard, and just this morning you sent in an order to get some plaques engraved.
Mr. Park stopped by when you were checking out your progress earlier, glancing at the pathways and the nearly completed seating. He didn’t say anything, simply nodding and walking along, and you figure that that’s the best you’ll get from him.
Your day goes by fine, for the most part after that. When you take your lunch break at the cafeteria, Seokmin tags along and you’re pleased that for once, you won’t have to eat alone. He has to leave soon after though—apparently Jihoon called for his help, and so you’re left to take care of this afternoon’s work by yourself.
Not that you mind—people let you be in the castle, and it’s actually quite nice for getting work done. When you return to 77, it’s only occupied by Mr. Park who, as always, pays no mind to you. Taking a look at your schedule, you aren’t sure if you feel like smiling or frowning when you see your next activity lined up.
Visiting the greenhouse.
There’s an odd feeling that blooms in your stomach as you walk there. You haven’t been to this side of this castle yet, partly because you don’t need to, but mostly because you don’t want to.
It’s when you leave the walls and take your way out to the Northeastern gardens of the palace that the pathways start ringing bells in your head. The familiar green bushes that you remember your mother tending to. The fields of daffodils, and the little built in canals that lead toward the row of greenhouses—it’s all flooding back to you, and you can’t figure out if you like it or not.
When you first came to the castle, you figured that you could avoid confronting the remnants of your past, but you should’ve known that everything eventually goes full circle.
Which is how you find yourself standing in front of the greenhouse where everything—your life, your mother’s life, all of it—ended on that day over ten long years ago.
Taking a deep breath, you go up to the door of the largest greenhouse ,tentatively tapping on the blurry glass before pushing it open. Peeking inside, you’re met with the familiar sight of flora arranged in neat lines of soil beds.
As you step in, the air is moist and stuffy—when you inhale, you’re reminded of those early Saturday mornings where you sat by your mother’s desk and watched her tend to the plants. The humidity was usually uncomfortable, but you learned to love it. Right now, you learn how much you missed it.
“Can I help you?” a gruff voice interrupts your thoughts, and you whip your head around to find an elderly woman glaring up at you.
“Hi, I called earlier and you said I could take some of the hyacinths. I just wanted to ask which greenhouse they’d be in because—”
“31C,” she says bluntly, immediately turning back around to tend to whatever she was doing earlier.
You watch her for a few seconds blankly, before snapping out of your haze, “O-okay, thank you.” Pursing your lips, you let your head hang low as you start walking toward the door.
“That damned slut,” the woman mutters quietly. You don’t think you want to hear it, but you continue to listen anyway. “Thinks she can just send her daughter over and—”
“And?”
You don’t think you’ve ever been more happy to hear Joshua’s voice.
Looking up, he’s just entered through the entrance you were about to exit through, and while you would usually mull over the possible reasons he would be here, you’re far more focused on watching the bewildered look on this woman’s face
“Nothing sir!” she replies quickly, back straightened as she presses her hands behind her back. 
“Good to hear,” he says simply. You watch from the side as Joshua gives her a look that you can’t really gauge before turning to you with a brighter look on his face. “Seokmin told me I would find you here?”
“I—yeah, he was right.”
“Well I can see that Sunshine,” Joshua chuckles and waves your hand in a gesture to follow him. You don’t have any other choice than to follow him out the greenhouse and into the much freer, lighter air. “What’re you doing here anyways?” he asks when you start finding your way to 31C.
“I need to look at some flowers.” Joshua asks you quite a bit about the courtyard, and although you don’t really get it, you’ve learned that it’s easier to just reply to his questions honestly than try to avoid them.
“For the courtyard?” he piques as you finally find the smaller greenhouse, opening the door to thankfully find it empty of anyone else.
Your gaze lands on a bed of hyacinths as you reply, “What else?”
“Okay, you need to stop answering all of my questions like I’m stupid.”
Huffing, you pull up a pot from under the bed and fill it up with soil before digging your hands into the dirt around one of the hyacinth plants. Your fingers search under the earth before feeling against the roots and carefully pulling out the plant.
“Maybe stop asking stupid questions then,” you suggest.
“Seeing as you think I’m dumb … do you want to tutor me?”
“What?” you deadpan, looking up at him with your hands still in the dirt. “Why?”
“I mean like, you’re smart and all, plus we get along—”
You click your tongue, finally pulling the plant out of the soil and pressing it into the pot. “Not so sure about that second part.”
“Okay well we have some shared interests and stuff—”
“Like?” you counter, walking over to a sink so you can wash the excess soil off.
“Percy Jackson. Greek mythology?”
Your ears perk up at that. “You like Greek mythology?”
“Yes! See! That’s like, already two common interests, Sunshine.”
“More like only two. And one of them is a book series I haven’t read in about nine years so I’m not even sure it counts,” you rebut.
“Oh no, it definitely counts,” Joshua counters, watching you pick up the flower pot and head towards the greenhouse exit. “Wait, we’re diverting from the point here.”
“What is the point again?”
“You need to tutor me!” he whines as he follows behind you, up the pathway back to the castle.
“I need to? Uh, sorry, but I don’t think tutoring the Prince is under my job description.”
“This is a different job though!”
You knit your eyebrows together. “Am I getting paid?”
“You might,” Joshua smirks. “I’ll pay you by the hour.”
Pondering, you chew on the inside of your cheek, before you finally respond, “How much are we talking?”
Joshua grins, shaking his head. “Should’ve known money was the way to your heart Sunshine.”
“Money is not the way to my heart. It’s just the way to get me to tutor you. Don’t mix those two up.”
“Don’t worry Sunshine, I wish you all the best in finding your sugar daddy husband eventually.”
Glaring, you chastise him. “Joshua!”
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“Why did you ask me to do this again?” you ask, stepping into the room Joshua has just led you to. It’s near the Royal Residence Quart of the castle, and you’re a bit on edge. Joshua assured you earlier that no one would question why you of all people would be here with him, but you’ve also noticed that the boy can be a bit distant from reality.
“Because,” Joshua starts, watching you look around the room (it is a very nice room; bookshelves line the walls and there’s a grand desk in the middle, a rolling chalkboard on one end and a vintage map on another rolling board scattered off to another end). “I don’t like the royal tutor they have, and you’re smart,” he says casually.
“You can’t ask for another one?” you murmur, raising a brow as he moves to the desk and hands you a folder.
“I could, but my mother would get upset if I keep running through them. I’ve changed my tutors far too many times by now.”
“Ah,” you say dryly. “The extreme difficulties of the royalty. How unfortunate.”
“Sunshine,” Joshua grins, ignoring your snarky comment. “Can you at least pretend you want to be here?”
“Um, I’ll think about it,” you reply honestly, pursing your lips together as you glance at his chalkboard which has a list of things he needs to go over. “What is it that you need help on?”
“Well I’m good at math and stuff but Literature and Chemistry are quite literally killing me,” Joshua says with a sigh, sitting down at his desk.
“Literature?” you ask with narrowed eyes. “You’re the Prince—isn’t Literature supposed to be like, I don’t know, your forte?”
“Who told you that?” Joshua asks with a pout, pulling up a packet of papers and letting it down on his desk with a thud.
“I don’t know, I guess I just assumed they’d be having you read Machiavelli or something like that from the age of two.”
Joshua scoffs, holding up the book so you can read out the title. Oh, it’s The Waste Land. “Okay I get that this is a kingdom and all but seriously, who even uses Machiavellianism anymore? That’s from like six hundred years ago.”
“Less than that,” you correct, but shrug anyways and sit down at the chair on the other side of his desk. “But whatever, you need help with The Waste Land?”
“I mean, yeah I’ve read it a bunch but I just never get it and my mom is obsessed with it for some reason and I really don’t want her to make me sit through another read of it so I really need to write up something good on it that will satisfy my Literature instructor and my mom so I can get it out of the way.”
“A paper?”
“Yeah, you know: analyzing themes and stuff.”
“Okay I know what a paper is,” you snap and Joshua rolls his eyes.
“Look now you’re just picking fights over everything I say. Just relax and—”
“I am relaxed,” you huff, but the tension in your shoulders says otherwise. To be honest, you’re still not sure why Joshua decided to choose you of all people, as if you haven’t made it clear multiple times that you weren’t his biggest fan.
You can respect the effort, you guess, but the way he seems so unbothered by your snarkiness is getting a little bit irritating.
“Whatever you say Sunshine,” Joshua says with a shrug, turning the packet and handing it to you. The poem is littered with annotations, underlines, and highlighter marks all over, and you squint for a moment trying to remind yourself of what you remember from the last time you looked at the work. “You read it before? The Waste Land?”
“Uh, yeah, ages ago though. Like back in high school,” murmur, flipping through the pages to jog your memory.
“Why were you reading The Waste Land in high school? Seems like too much, no?”
“Well not everyone was granted the freedom to do as they please with whoever they please,” you tell him, eyes flickering between Joshua’s curious face and the packet in front of you.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Joshua asks, and his voice is slightly whiny.
“It means that people didn’t want to talk to me so I had to spend my time reading. Even if it was ‘too much,’ or whatever you said.”
“Oh,” Joshua’s voice is quiet. See, you remind yourself, clouded from reality is what Joshua is. “Well I—”
“Forget it. I think I’m going to have to go home and reread The Waste Land if you want me to be of any help. What else do you have to work on, or do you just want to do Chemistry?”
“Uh, sure we can move onto Chemistry,” Joshua replies hastily, tucking the paper back into his folder haphazardly before shoving it into a drawer and pulling out a much thicker notebook. “I kinda need help with a lot of it. Like—I’m sorry I just don’t get it—what the hell is an electrophile and a nucleophiles and why the hell I need to know them for alkanes and—”
“Slow down,” you say, sticking your hand out. You grab the notebook from his desk and skip over the contents before looking back up. “If you want me to do this for you, we’re going to have to start from the basics, okay?”
Joshua gives you a look which tells you he doesn’t think he needs to do that, but you open the notebook to a new page, pulling out a pen. Begrudgingly, he nods and leans his head in to see what you’re writing.
He’s oddly compliant when you ask him to be, despite his jumpy and bubbly personality, and for a fraction of a second, you wonder about his potential. Quickly, you push that thought out of your mind.
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It’s late afternoon when you reach the courtyard, smiling at the progress. You told the workers to get started on digging up the pond this morning, and you’re pleased to see that there’s already a large dugout in the century.
“Good work!” you chirp to Jungho, the contractor you talked to over the phone. He seemed nice enough over the phone, but you soon realized within the first time that you two met in person that he was just as standoff-ish as the rest. “But we’re going to need to get the insides patted down and compressed so when we put the water in, the soil won’t just soak it up,” you try to tell him casually.
Jungho points his thumb behind him at some of his men. “Yeah we have a guy for that,” he says gruffly, not even meeting your gaze.
“Thanks … maybe have it finished within a week?”
“Okay. Anything else?” Jungho looks around awkwardly, before adding. “Want us to get the water in there too? Then we can get outta … outta your hair and stuff and don’t have to keep coming back.”
“Uh, no—there’s some lining I want to do with the pond, and I’ve got to do that before there’s water in it. But it’s something I want to do myself, so you can just take care of compressing the soil and I’ll take it from there.”
Jungho gives you a weird look but you brush it off. “Alright. We’ll have it finished by tomorrow,” he finalizes, and with that he turns on his heels and walks back to his workers who you can tell were watching him from the corner of their vision.
“Why are those guys looking at you like that?”
You whip your head around, seeing Joshua standing just a few meters away from you on the pathway coming in from the East entrance. He glances around and finds a marble bench that’s just been made, sitting on the edge casually.
“Joshua, you’ve seen people look at me like that before and I think you know exactly why,” you mutter, walking over to where he sits. Joshua doesn’t respond and instead averts his gaze to the ground.
There’s a stray kitten bouncing around at his feet, and he’s quick to drop to his knees on the pathway and engulf her in his large hands. It would be an endearing sight, you think. Sorta, you guess.
“Whatever. You’re still coming in on Sunday right? My instructor prepared this stupid Chemistry exam for me on Tuesdays and I know you can’t help out on Mondays so I kind of really need you to help me on Sunday so I can prep. So please, please, please—”
“You know I’m gonna come in, so you don’t have to pester me so much about it,” you say with a sigh, putting your folder down and crouching on the ground so you can pet the kitten. She’s cute, with wide slanted eyes and soft brown fur, the wet kitten licks feeling warm against your palm.
“But you put up with it, don’t you?” You roll your eyes but Joshua still grins when you don’t disagree.
“I don’t understand you,” you mutter, truthfully speaking your mind as the kitten rolls around in Joshua’s lap. You smile without thinking, and Joshua carefully watches your usually taut face unravel in front of him.
“Are you kidding me? I’m literally an open book. You know Sunshine, you can find my whole life on Wikipedia.”
You giggle. You fucking giggle at that, and it’s hard to tell who is more surprised between the two of you. “You know that’s not what I meant,” you murmur, struggling to hold back another laugh, the kitten jumping out of his lap to play around on the ground under the gentle hands of you and Joshua.
“Not that I would know. You think I’m stupid anyways.”
“What? No I don’t.”
“Oh my god, please don’t even try to counter that. When I told you I didn’t know why helium was named helium, you looked at me like I was the dumbest person to ever live.”
“Okay that’s only because you say you like Greek mythology! How could you not put that together—it’s so obvious! Helium and Helios sound totally alike, and everyone knows helium is like, one of the most abundant elements in the sun.”
“Maybe you know that. You’re also insanely smart,” Joshua counters.
“Whatever you say. But for the record, I don’t think you’re stupid. Maybe a little dense, but that’s it.”
Joshua pouts. “Aren’t those basically the same thing?” You know he’s only being playful, but something about the way he says it makes you think twice. He’s being sweet. So sweet, it feels almost bitter.
“No. You have a smart head, Joshua. Honest. I think you just gotta learn how to use it,” you tell him, more softly this time.
“Thanks Sunshine,” he replies gruffly and you frown, realizing that your attempts to make him feel better haven’t quite worked.
“I’m serious. What? You don’t think I’m serious?” Joshua shakes his head, and you roll your eyes when you pick up the kitten yourself and pull her into your lap.
“You’re mean. So no, I don’t think you’re being serious.”
You gasp, using the hand that isn’t playing with the kitten to place it over your chest dramatically. “I am not mean. I’m just honest. I’m being honest right now.”
“Whatever,” Joshua quips, turning his nose and looking away pettily.
“Okay, are you actually upset?” you groan, cradling the kitten up to your chest. You aren’t sure if you’re more annoyed because you can’t tell if Joshua is upset, or because you might be the reason he’s upset.
“Who knows. Not that you would care.”
“I obviously care, because I’m asking,” you deadpan, letting the kitten roll around in your arms, letting out a squeak of surprise when one of its claws gets caught in the belt of your robe, making a tear in the silk.
Joshua gives you a funny look when he says, “You can be quite pestering when you want to.”
“Congratulations! You now know how I feel.”
“See what I mean! You’re mean. I want the kitten back.”
You clutch the little close to your chest and nuzzle your face into her neck. “No can do. I’m afraid she’s mine until you admit you know I don’t think you’re stupid.”
“Oh my god, is this how it feels when I annoy you?” Joshua grumbles, throwing his head back. “Remind me to never pester you again. Ever.”
“Self awareness is great and all, but like I said, you’re not getting her until you admit it.”
“Fine. I don’t think you think I’m stupid. Happy?”
You hum and shake your head. “Mm, no. Gotta sound more convincing.”
Joshua knits his eyebrows together. “If you’re so insistent on this, then I guess it must be true. I don’t think you think I’m stupid,” he repeats, but his tone is gentler this time.
“Good work.”
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Joshua stands tall on a hill. His broad shoulders are sharp with his straightened back and taught jaw. The sky is orange and you watch him from below, the clouds moving slowly above his head in the background.
He’s looking out at something, but you can’t quite tell what. It’s off in the distance, but his eyes are dilated and unwavering for a few long moments.
Wind whistles in your ear, and then the sky grows brighter and brighter until it’s no longer orange and suddenly turning yellow and then white. So white that it hinders your vision and you’re wincing through the light until you realize Joshua is not on the hill anymore.
You look around frantically to no avail—you can’t see anything but white with black spots in your vision and you feel like you’re going blind. And you want to scream but when you open your mouth no sound comes and the blowing of wind grows louder and louder until it sounds like you’re at the beach.
Looking around, you see your legs knee deep in ocean water and you’re no longer hearing the rampage of wind and instead the crashing of waves against rocks. There isn’t a hill anymore, there’s a cliff, but still no sight of Joshua.
It’s still so bright, so bright and you close your eyes tightly again until you feel a shade fall over your figure. A gasp escapes your lips when you see what’s above you.
Wide wings, ornate with white and golden feathers, perched over Joshua’s back as he hovers above you. He’s not looking anywhere else now, only you.
His face glows and then he smiles and you close your eyes one last time but when you open them again, all you see is darkness.
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You’ve never been great at remembering dreams. More often than not, you wake up with no remnants of the life you lived in your head the night before, and on the rare occasions that you do happen to recall something, it’s only just random snippets that also hardly make sense.
Last night was no different, although you do wake up with an uneasy feeling, not because of what you dreamed about—you don’t remember that—but because you know you dreamed about Joshua. It’s just the wake up call you need to tell yourself that maybe, just maybe, you’re spending more time with him than you should.
It’s a Saturday morning as you trudge out of bed and to the kitchen, trying to settle the weird feelings that course through your veins when you see your mother brewing a pot of tea. “How’d you sleep?” she asks, not looking up from the boiling water.
Shrugging as you grab a home-grown orange, you respond, “Well enough.”
“Can’t believe they have you going to the palace on the weekends too … I never had to work on Saturdays or Sundays.”
You wonder how she brings up her time at the castle so casually—you don’t know if you’ll ever understand her. “I really don’t have to—I can work on my own schedule basically whenever, as long as I get the courtyard finished by the end of three months.”
“And how’s that going?”
“Behind schedule. Obviously. That’s why I’m heading in again.”
Your mother smiles and walks over, ruffling your hair. “I’m glad you’re working hard on this—I can tell you’re enjoying it, as much as you didn’t want to go there.”
“It’s nice, I guess. I get to be creative, and get paid. Really, getting the money is all I care about,” you tell her casually, taking the peel off the orange and popping a piece into your mouth.
“You don’t talk about it much, but I’m assuming people don’t give you that hard of a time? You always come home fine.”
They do, it just doesn’t happen to be anything you’re not used to. Your mind flashes to Joshua and Seokmin for a moment, and you’re once again reminded of the unnerving fact that you did dream about the former, and you can’t even remember what it was about. “Things are fine.”
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You’re three tutoring sessions in with Joshua, and it’s finally the day that you pull out your own copy of The Waste Land. “Oh thank god,” he says with a breath of relief when he sees it. “This paper has been bugging me forever—if we didn’t get started on it soon I might’ve combust.”
“I appreciate the vivid imagery,” you say dryly, “but I really did not need to picture that in my head.”
“Sorry,” Joshua says with a shrug as you sit across from him. “So what’re we gonna do today, Sunshine?”
“Hmm, get through the first part hopefully. We can read it back and forth and talk about it together, so you can take notes. It might be easier that way, so you can get all your thoughts and ideas out, and then it’ll be easier for you to write that paper.”
“Sounds boring.”
“I guess I’ll just pack my stuff and—”
“Okay! Okay! I was just joking. Let’s start, please,” he complies easily, and you smirk as you sit back down.
“Good to hear. Read this part.”
You’re around an hour and a half into the lesson, still working through the first part as Joshua frowns when you finish another stanza.
“Do we have to keep going?” he whines.
“Yes we do. Let’s work with this part now. Read it out for me,” you instruct, pointing out a stanza on your own paper.
“Why—” You give him a look. “—okay fine.”
‘You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;‘They called me the hyacinth girl.’—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could notSpeak, and my eyes failed, I was neitherLiving nor dead, and I knew nothing,Looking into the heart of light, the silence.Oed’ und leer das Meer.
When he’s done, Joshua looks up at you blankly. “If I’m being honest, I have zero clue what this means.”
You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “You’ve said that every time you read a new section, but I know that’s not true, because you literally always come up with something.”
Joshua scrunches up his face and slaps his hands to his cheeks in frustration. “But now I’m being serious! This is making no sense to me—I hate Literature, okay? My brain is dead right now and I don’t think I can do any more Sunshine.”
“We’ve been doing this for less than two hours,” you say bluntly. “Look—you said you like Greek mythology right? Try and draw some connections. Maybe that’ll make this more enjoyable.”
“I hardly think T.S. Elliot could produce anything I enjoy,” Joshua huffs as he tilts the page so he can read it better, “But fine. I still don’t get what about this has anything to do with mytho—oh!”
“Finally! You get it?”
“Hyacinthus!” You nod eagerly, gesturing your hands to tell him to go on. “Uh, it was that story with Apollo. Shit, what was the story again?” He looks up and taps at his chin, but when you open your mouth to help him out, Joshua sticks a hand in front of your face and shakes his head. “No wait, I remember. The one where they were in love but Apollo accidentally killed him when they were playing a game!”
“You’re right. The blood of Hyacinthus was eventually turned into flowers by Apollo to honor his death or something like that. In the context of this poem … the giver of the hyacinth flower is almost like a sign of—”
Joshua snaps his fingers in the air and grins. “Forgiveness!”
“Well, not exactly giving forgiveness, but asking for it.”
“Kind of like … saying you’re sorry?” Joshua smiles brighter when you nod. “Holy shit, maybe I do enjoy T.S. Elliot.”
You roll your eyes and point at his notebook and pen. “Good, now write that down. You are going to have to write about this, remember?”
Joshua pouts, but picks up the pen nevertheless. “Whatever you say Sunshine.”
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“Joshua told me to tell you that he thinks T.S. Elliot sucks,” Seokmin says, coming up to you in the cafeteria as you polish off your own tray. It’s a large and grand area—an old ballroom that turned into a commonplace for the workers.
Large mirrors plate the walls, and across from you, you can watch Seokmin’s reflection as he sits down next to you. Rolling your eyes, you turn to look at him, “He’s only saying that because I told him to write the paper himself.”
Seokmin furrows his eyebrows as he places a white box, a little larger than the size of your hand, on the table. Glancing around, you catch people in the mirror watching you with wavering gazes before turning away when they find you looking at them.
Huff lightly, you turn your attention back to Seokmin. “What’s this?”
“Joshua told me to give it to you.”
That’s new. Tentatively, you lift the lid a little to peek inside, only finding a haphazard mess of stuffing paper with something purple concealed underneath. “Would it be a smart decision to open it right now?”
“Oh my gosh, it’s not an explosive or anything.”
“You don’t know that!”
Seokmin rolls his eyes himself this time. “Yes I do. I packed it.”
“Ugh, even worse. I’m not opening it if you’re around. That’s embarrassing.”
“Is not! I think that you should—” Seokmin is cut off by the sound of his own phone ringing, cursing under his breath when he sees the caller ID. For a moment, you consider peering over and taking a look, but Seokmin stands up too quickly. “I gotta go for a second. I’ll catch you before you leave!” he calls out when he’s already pushing his chair in and rushing off into the distance.
You laugh at his hurry, wondering what could possibly ensue such nervousness from the boy, but you quickly remind yourself that this is Seokmin and he gets the jitters when he even has to think about being around Mr. Park for more than twenty minutes.
Soon, you start to clean up your area yourself, putting your trays away and throwing away your trash in the weirdly fancy bins they have scattered around the hall. As your lunch break nears its end, you grab the oddly light box, your phone, and make your way back to 77.
The room is empty, safe for Jihoon who’s got his head buried in his laptop, and you think it’s a good time to check what’s inside. If it is an explosive, you’ll just have to apologize to Jihoon in the afterlife.
Opening the lid, those same, crumpled papers lay on top, but this time you notice a little white card in the middle. Pursing your lips, your eyes flicker to your side to see if Jihoon’s watching (he never is, but it doesn’t hurt to check), and when your privacy is confirmed, you flip the paper over.
There’s a message written in purple pen, adorning a handwriting that you can distinctly recognize as Joshua’s.
Thank you for all the help. I really owe you one.
You aren’t quite sure what he’s talking about, and you make a mental note to ask him about it when you see him later. Right now, you rummage through the papers, hands feeling the space beneath them before they land on a smooth layer of fabric.
Confused, you pull it out, only to see it’s a ribbon, much like the one tied around your own waist. Same color, same material, same emblem, the only difference being …
You glance down at your own robes where the ribbon has a small tear at one end from where the kitten had pawed at you. You have to blink a few times to realize what Joshua’s intentions were, and when you do, you can’t help the warm smile that begrudgingly makes its way onto your face.
Quickly, you tug the ends of the ribbon around your waist and let it unravel, taking the new ribbon and tying it just as your mother taught you. It’s the same thing as the one before, yes, but this is different. This is a gift.
Donning Joshua’s (your?) ribbon, you start to clean up your desk space and tuck your old ribbon back into your bag. You forgot to tell Seokmin you’re tutoring Joshua this afternoon, so as you pack up you text him a sincere ‘thank you’ message, and let him know that you might not be able to see him before you go. You don’t get a response, which is slightly odd since Seokmin seems to always be on top of things, but you shrug it off and remind yourself that he’s busy.
Today, you make your way down the smaller halls with a little skip to your step. Joshua showed you this pathway earlier so it’d be easier to get to his study room without being seen; it’s a nice little series of corridors that are a little dimmer and narrower, but still hold the lavish feel you always get walking through the palace.
You can hear the voices of a few people, but it seems quiet, hushed, and somehow a little heated—in other words, caught up in their own world. Being in the castle for almost two months now, you’ve learned to realize what kind of situations need your caution and which ones don’t. This is the latter.
You smile to yourself, smoothing your palms over the new, not-torn silk ribbon around your waist, as you near the second entrance to his study, about to enter another hallway to the final stretch and—shit.
When you turn a corner, your heart stops.
You turn back and run down the corridor. You don’t know if Seokmin saw you, and quite frankly, you don’t care.
It didn’t take you more than a second to put two and two together and suddenly you’re pushed back into your nine year old body—you don’t really know what’s happening or why it’s happening, all you know is that it hurts.
You’re going to have to apologize to Joshua for flaking on him. Surely he’ll understand that you were just a little bit upset by the sight you had to see.
After all, you did just witness Seokmin, quite literally your only real friend in this damn castle, speaking to Advisor Lee, the man who tore your mother’s life down. And now is when everything starts to click, because you realize that Seokmin is Advisor Lee’s son.
Of course he was close with Joshua—he probably grew up on these very castle grounds. Of course they attended the same classes—his father was the King’s advisor and cousin.
It makes sense now, and in your bleary haze as you make your way back to 77, you’re not sure what to do. You rush past a few other staff members murmuring under their breath when they see you, and you usually wouldn’t be bothered by the sight but now you remember that this is the first time you’ve cried since you got here, and it’s all because of that man who started this all in the first place.
As you lock yourself in one of the staff bathrooms, you catch your disheveled appearance and furiously wipe at your cheeks. Fuck. You shouldn’t be crying. You can’t be crying over this, because god knows you did not spend years thickening your skin for it to be cut open like this.
You should’ve known. Should’ve fucking known.
You try to stop your tears, telling yourself that they’re all the same. That you shouldn’t have expected anything more from these people, that you should’ve picked up on how Seokmin was definitely someone important, that you should’ve never fallen for his and Joshua’s sweet games.
“Shit,” you gasp out as a sob rips from your throat, and you clutch the side of the sink as uneasiness bubbles up in your stomach and spreads through your limbs until you’re trembling.
Maybe you let him get so close because you thought he saw you for something else. Maybe you believed that he saw you as more than a pity project. More than someone who was defined by their past.
Joshua and Seokmin—they knew. They knew everything this whole damn time.
And now you’re angry—you’re so fucking angry. Tugging at your hair, ripping up your clothes, and thrashing your limbs around kind of angry. The kind of anger that poisons your bones and makes your body ache until you can’t take it anymore. The kind of anger that wraps its hand around your throat and squeezes the air out of you until you can do nothing but relent. The kind of anger that has you looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking, what the fuck.
The worst thing is you can’t even be mad at him. You want to be mad at him and you want to be mad at Joshua. You want to have the will to go up to them and slap the smiles off their faces because how dare Seokmin be the own flesh and blood of Advisor Lee, and how dare Joshua know and not have the guts to tell you.
Because after everything, Seokmin and Joshua were your friends and—fuck—they were some damn good friends. Your best friends, maybe, if you ever had the liberty to even know what that means.
And it wasn’t because they were overly nice, or excessively cheery, or because Seokim was always grinning and Joshua was always smirking, but because when they talked to you, they were talking to you, and not some shell of your past.
Finally, now, when you press your face into your hands as your last attempt to calm yourself down, you feel like you can breathe. You’re not sure where your head is at, and something tells you that it’s gonna take a damn long time to figure it out.
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You’re a little lost.
You were just trying to get to the South end entrance of the courtyard but you must have taken a wrong turn or something because you’re walking down a corridor you’ve quite literally never seen before. It’s similar to the hallways of the rest of the palace, but it’s slightly taller and a bit more narrow, and the workers walking through wear faces that you aren’t familiar with. You’re a little nervous about where your feet are taking you, and you consider just turning around and retracing your steps when you hear a voice.
Seokmin’s voice is loud when he calls your name, and you press your lips together tightly when it rings in your ears. “What are you doing here? You usually don’t come down to the South e—” he starts to say when walks up to you from a corridor to your left.
“Nothing,” you reply briskly, turning on your heel so your back is pretty much facing him. “I was just leaving actually.”
“What—hey! Slow down! Where’re you going?”
“77,” you mutter under your breath as you speed up your pace.
“Slow down!”
You don’t relent. “Seokmin, don’t you have stuff to do right now instead of following me around?” You can’t see the look on his face, but you can only imagine it’s one of defeat.
“I—” his voice is quieter this time, “Okay.”
The footsteps that were one following you die out, and as you browse the corners of your vision, you conclude that he’s finally left you alone. You should feel relieved—happy that he’s not bothering you now—but sometimes uneasy churns inside of you, and you aren’t sure what it is.
The rest of your day goes as it usually does in a palace. You tend to your work and as it hits late afternoon, you start making your way to Joshua’s study. Once again, you’re not sure where your head is at.
“Is everything alright?” Joshua asks you the second you walk in. “Seokmin told me you looked upset and wouldn’t talk to him so I—”
You inhale deeply before, putting your hands up in a stopping motion. “I can’t tutor you anymore.”
Joshua looks at you weirdly. “What, why?”
“Or talk to you,” you add.
“What—”
“Just—just don’t talk to me. Or ask me to tutor you. Or ask for my help, or ask to help me—you know what just like—I dunno, stay away from me.”
“Sunshine, where is this coming from?” Joshua pinches the bridge of his nose, and you don’t think he’s understanding the weight of his words.
“Why do you even talk to me?” you snap. “Like seriously, if you can bother any worker in the castle, why does it have to be me?”
Hurt flashes in Joshua’s face for hardly a second before he frowns deeply. “I—what’s going on?”
“Do you and Seokmin think this is funny? Being nice to me like—” You throw your hands in the air. “—like I’m some kind of joke?”
“What? No, Sunshine, what are you even talking about?”
“I know who Seokmin’s dad is.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” you scoff. “So if Seokmin still wants to know why I don’t feel like talking to him, maybe consider telling him that I’m not interested in being around someone whose father is literally the reason me and my mom’s lives have been so fucked up.”
Joshua winces at the last statement. You’ve been irritated with him, annoyed with him, and all that petty stuff, sure, but this is different.
“Seokmin isn’t like that, okay? He isn’t—you know—like that.”
“And how would you know?” you snap. “Prince Joshua, what do you know about having people be, quote unquote, above you? You have everything in front of you, and when people look at you and Seokmin it’s not ‘cause of some fucked up scandal which pinned your mom as the kingdom’s slut of the century, it’s ‘cause they literally bow down to your presence and—”
Something tells you to stop yourself. Maybe it’s the fact that you know you’re not actually angry at them. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re so fucking tired of being angry all the time that you can’t take it anymore. Maybe it’s the fact that when you finally look him in the eye, Joshua looks sad.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says meekly. “Seokmin should—we should’ve let you know earlier. I promise we didn’t be your friend just ‘cause of that,” he rambles. “I mean obviously we knew about it but we didn’t wanna bring it up because everyone was bringing it up and—I’m sorry. You know Seokmin isn’t like that.”
“And you?” you quip, but you know your retorts hold no weight. “How do I know you aren’t like—like that.”
Joshua falters and you watch him gulp. He looks tired and his lips are red from how hard he’s been chewing on them as you speak. “Y-you know,” his voice is quiet, “You know I’m not.”
You have your answer before you even have to think about it, but you pause for a few moments, waiting to respond. All that comes out is a shallow breath as you look down and squeeze your eyes shut. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I just—” You sigh weakly. “I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.” Joshua doesn’t respond—he knows you’re thinking.
You wonder what to do with yourself. You’re not angry. Not sad either. Uneasy? Maybe. It’s the uncertainty of it all. You don’t understand why you’re not mad, and you don’t understand why you want to forgive him so easily, but you’re starting to realize that you should stop trying to understand the things that might never make sense.
Finally, you nod. “It’s fine.”
“Sorry again. I guess we didn’t wanna make that whole thing all about you. Because like, you’re you, and whatever happened is separate.”
You purse your lips and nod. “Thank you.”
“Was that sarcasm?”
You glare at him. “Dipshit, no it wasn’t!”
“I’m taking this as a sign that you’re feeling better. Am I correct?”
You bite back a smile and shrug. “I guess.”
“Cool, ‘cause I think you’d like to know that my mom stopped by the courtyard the other day.”
“Oh yeah? What’d she say? This is all for her isn’t it—hopefully she liked it.”
“Yeah no, she said it was great. She thought the patterns of the pathway were cool and so she asked me if I could figure out why they were designed like that and I said no. By the way, why did you design them like that?”
“There’s this song I like. It’s called Isohel, and when I first heard it, I liked it a lot,” you explain. “Searched up what it means and stuff and then a few weeks later I was taking some filler class for the credits and my professor goes on some tangent about god-knows-what, and somehow he brings up pictures of an isohel map. An isohel—it’s basically a line which maps out the places that have the same duration of sunshine. Pretty cool, I think.”
“Is that what the pathways are? Are they—what is it—an isohel?”
“Mhm. On an isohel map, they’re not always just lines—they come around full circle sometimes so it looks like these funky, squiggly ovals sometimes,” you ramble. “So I took one of those circle-ish things and broke it up and pieced it together like a pathway.”
“That’s really smart.” Joshua pauses. “You’re really smart.”
It’s not the first time someone’s told you that. Fuck, it’s not even the first time Joshua’s told you that, but it feels different now. He means it, you know it in your bones.
“I-I dunno,” you stammer. “I guess. It just relates to the theme of the sun. My mom taught me about it when I was younger—I loved the sun.”
“So that’s what the theme of your courtyard is? Me and Seokmin have been betting on that for ages.”
You scoff, “You guys bet on that? Seriously, do you have nothing better to do with your time?”
“Clearly not!” he shoots back, causing you to laugh. “Are you really feeling better now?” Joshua asks sincerely, and when you smile and nod, he grins. “Hey, I just realized you talked to me about your feelings—”
“Don’t mention it,” you snap gruffly, crossing your arms over your chest.
Joshua clicks his tongue and chuckles. “There’s the Sunshine I know.”
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It’s the next day when you walk into 77. Jihoon’s desk is empty, Mr. Park is just about to leave as you enter and you bow to him quickly as you settle in your desk. Seokmin is in the corner watering the yarrows, seeming to not have noticed you yet.
You watch him closely, smiling softly when you notice he stops before he can overwater them. Quietly, you set your stuff down and Seokmin begins to talk. “Oh, Jihoon, Mr. Park was just looking for you—oh,” he cuts himself flat when he turns around and sees you.
You’re not sure what to do, because Joshua didn’t exactly tell you if he told Seokmin about your conversation and what not, but the look on Seokmin’s face is telling you that he’s just a little behind on the news.
“Hey,” you say casually, throwing a hand up to wave at him as you set your bag down on your desk. Seokmin opens his mouth and then closes it a few times, as if he’s searching for the right words but they don’t quite come out for a few moments.
“Joshua told me that, uh, you know that—” He pauses and glances at you, trying to watch for any hints of anger on your face, but none comes.
“Don’t worry about it,” you say with a shrug, and Seokmin has to blink twice because he’s not sure he heard you correctly at all.
“W-what?”
You narrow your eyes at him. “I said don’t worry about it,” you state again, and then add more softly, “You’re not your father. I get it.” You get it more than anyone. “Anyways, did you get the workers to start planting the hyacinths?”
Seokmin shakes his head once to snap himself back into reality and then shakes his head again a second time. “Wait no, I mean—wait, yes! I mean yes! I did do that—I should go remind them to get on that,” he rambles quickly, clearly a little flustered.
You chuckle. “It’s good to see you’ve been watering the yarrows properly now. Mr. Park finally beat it into you?”
“Y-yeah I guess. I’ve been getting better at remembering them all,” he tells you, starting to fall into a more casual tone. It’s normal, you think. Nice and normal. Nice and normal and just what you need.
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“What are you doing here?”
When you turn around with your bag slung over your shoulder, you’re surprised to see Joshua. “Um, working?”
“It’s a Saturday night,” he states, lips pinched together in a funny expression, like he can’t figure you out.
“I think I know that,” you chuckle. “I didn’t know if I could come in on Monday—I need to stop by the university campus for something—so I just came in today to take care of some stuff.”
“You’re a dedicated worker huh … you should just work here forever—the pay is great.”
“Mm, I’m not sure about that,” you say honestly as you look him up and down. It strikes you now that Prince Joshua truly is a handsome man. Dark velvety robes that are even more grand than the ones you’re used to seeing on him, well fit dress pants against his legs and shiny leather shoes that seem to fit his image perfectly. “Anyways, I heard there’s a ball tonight? You’re not going?”
Joshua shrugs as he turns around and starts walking, waving you over to follow him. “C’mon follow me.” You contemplate your choices before telling yourself, what’s the worst that could happen, scurrying on after him. “I left—it got boring, so I got about twenty-five minutes before someone calls me and asks me to come back. My bets are on it being Seokmin ‘cause he’ll get bored.”
You snort at that as the familiarity of this route starts to sink in. “Hey are we going to my …”
“Yeah. Seokmin told me you finally got it named, and I want to check it out.”
“Uh, yeah,” you murmur bashfully—you hadn’t expected Joshua to be that interested in it. You walk through the empty corridors to the hallway that has the North entrance of the courtyard, and Joshua cranes his neck up to look at the golden plaque that rests above the entrance.
“Sol Invictus, huh.”
You nudge him on the side playfully. “You know what that means, Mr. Latin Genius?”
“Of course I do,” he retorts with a roll of his eyes. “Sun god, or whatever,”
“God of sun, but you were close enough I guess,” you mutter as you walk through. The courtyard looks different in the night. It’s nearly done, and as the little warm lights you had placed in intervals along the path light up the scene, you can’t help but feel overwhelming pride with how well you’ve done.
“C’mon, let’s sit here,” he says, pointing down at the circular patch of grass that surrounds the pond in the middle. Joshua sits down first and you watch him carefully before quickly sitting next to him as well.
The grass is cool under your skin, but as a comfortable silence envelopes you and Joshua, you start to think you really don’t mind.
“I think lots of people think I’m stupid or something,” Joshua finally speaks up, and some uncomfortable feeling boils in your stomach at the words. “You know, the only thing people usually compliment me on is my fencing, really. And fencing is one of those things that, if you’ve been doing it as long as I have, you sort of gotta be good at it.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid.”
“I know. Thank you.” There’s a silence as he reaches over the stone lining of the hyacinth beds, plucking a few from the shrubs.
“Joshua!” you complain. “I had those planted just last week.”
“It’s fine,” he mumbles, handing the two he plucked to you. You don’t hesitate to keep your palms open for him, his fingers brushing over the skin of your arms as he does so. You rub the smooth petals between your fingers and a thumb, bringing one close to your chest before taking the other and handing it back to Joshua.
He looks at you, eyes clearly confused, but holds it to his own chest anyways. With your hands behind you on the ground, you lean back and look up at the sky, letting your shoulders relax. The night air pinches at your skin, but the soft fabric of Joshua tuxedo is warm as it brushes next to you.
“Why’d you name this pond Eridenus?” Joshua asks, pointing at the plaque by the pebble lining which spells out the word in fancy lettering.
“You don’t know where it’s from?” you sigh, lifting your head so you can shoot him a stern look. Joshua rolls his eyes and nudges your cheek with his shoulder, motioning you to lean back down at him.
“You know I’m a rascal—I’m forgetful. Tell me what it means.”
“It’s confirmed: you’re a fake mythology fan. I’m suing the universe.” Joshua chuckles and pokes you, egging you to go on. “Do you remember the story of Phaethon?”
Joshua hums. “Uh, son of Helios. Didn’t believe that he was his son. Asked to ride his carriage but lost control and almost burned the Earth?”
You shrug. “Well that’s most of it I guess. He’s racing down to the earth and everything is chaos—rivers boiling, forests on fires, people turning to ash—and so Zeus throws his bolt at him and kills Phaethon right in the sky.”
“Kind of like the story of Icarus. But the opposite I guess. Instead of getting too close to the sun, he brings the sun too close to the earth.”
“You could put it like that. They have the same meaning, I think. But anyways, Phaethon falls out of the carriage and as he dies he falls into this river called Eridenus.”
“Oh.” Joshua’s voice is quiet as you both watch the gentle water lap back and forth in front of you. The small waves hitting the stone barriers of the pound is the only sound that permeates the night sky, besides your shared breaths and the occasional whistling of wind.
“It’s kind of like—” You.
“Don’t say it.” Joshua’s words are crisp and short, and he doesn’t look at you. You want to say the words—I’m sorry—but they get stuck in your throat and ripple through your limbs as you scoot closer to him.
“Anyways,” Joshua finally says, but the word is only followed with silence.
“I think you need to get back to the ball,” you tell him quietly, lifting your head from his shoulder. Your skin burns from where it was previously pressed against him and you silently chide yourself for letting yourself get so close.
Joshua finally turns to face you, and you’re surprised when he chuckles. “So eager to get rid of me, Sunshine?” You scoff, pushing him away gently.
“I-I just don’t want you to get in trouble!” you stutter as you push yourself off the ground, Joshua following suit.
“Aw, so you care about me?” His eyes crinkle up in that familiar way when he says it and you can’t help the childish grin that makes its way onto your face.
“More like I don’t want you to complain to me about how you got scolded!”
“Mm, sounds a lot like you care about me,” Joshua counters, returning your smile with one of his own. You roll your eyes and carefully skip in your dress toward the exit on the North end of the courtyard.
When you almost trip over your robes, Joshua catches you and his rough palm presses against the small of your back as you regain your balance, the two of you giggling together as he drops you off at 77 before heading to the ballroom.
It’s almost laughable how happy you are. Silly you for forgetting that fairytales don’t happen in real life.
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The walls look brighter, the chandeliers that hang from the ceiling seem to glitter a bit more, the ground seems smoother; you enjoy walking through the castle in a way you never thought you could.
It’s a normal evening and you’re nearing the end of your time at the castle, but you choose to ignore the odd feeling you get when you think too long about leaving this place. There’s still more work to get done, and you don’t want to spend your time focusing on things that you know will only distract you.
You’re in the middle of Sol Invictus today, looking through a paper and phone as you go through some old plans and checklists, trying to figure out if there is anything you should do before you pack your bags and head towards Joshua’s study.
Just as you’re about to unclick your pen and tuck your things away and head back to 77, someone speaks to you from behind.
“A lovely courtyard we have here.” You know this voice. Everyone knows this voice.
Your blood runs cold as you turn around and face the King, neck craning down immediately as you bow down, stepping away while you hold your hands behind your back.
“G-good evening sir,” you stutter, almost tripping over the stone of your own pathways when you stand up and straighten your back. It’s your first time in years seeing him in person, and you tell yourself as your stomach churns that this was bound to happen at some point.
“Care to tell me about what you’ve got going on here?” he asks, walking around the little stone circle that surrounds Eridenus. “You’re the head of the project, is that right?”
“Yes sir,” you reply quickly, bowing again slightly when he finally goes full circle stopping next to you. His hands are behind his back as you watch him look over the almost complete fields of flowers. “I—uh—it’s called Sol Invictus,” you say. “The—”
“God of Sun.”
“Y-yes sir. Apollo and Helios,” you begin to explain. “Which is why I’ve used these flowers—they’re from one of Apollo’s love stories. They’re quite beautiful, if you ask me, and they fit the kingdom’s colors well.”
The King hums in response. “That’s interesting,” he finally tells you, looking down at Eridenus in front of you. You follow his gaze, staring down at the clear water as you feel your heart rise to your throat in anticipation. You don’t really know what you expect, but if you were preparing yourself for anything, it wasn’t the King saying, “It’s my understanding that you talk to Prince regularly, is that right?”
Your breath hitches in your throat and lodges there along with your heart. “Well, I wouldn’t say—”
“I was speaking to Mr. Park just yesterday.” Oh. “You seem to be a very smart, professional young lady, and it shows in your work.” This can’t be good. “However, I am obligated to remind you: there are boundaries within these walls between the family and its staff.”
“Of course sir. I understand.”
The King watches you carefully, and just when you think he's done, he continues. “There are guards around the castle at all times. there isn't much they miss, I’m sure you know.” This isn't good. This really isn't good.
“It's quite impressive,” you agree, thumbs pressed against each other behind your back. You hear the king take a deep breath, and you wonder if he sucked the air out of you doing so.
"I've heard the pond here is named Eridenus.”
"Y-yes sir."
"Interesting," he murmurs. "Phaeton asked for a bit more than he could handle, didn’t he?" the King chuckles but you hardly hear it over the way your heart pounds. "Let mistakes be learned from, alright?"
You feel your knuckle might buckle. Is this how your mother felt? All those years ago?
The King’s words aren’t nearly as harsh as the advisor who berated your mother, but still, your body sways—you can’t tell if it’s all in your head with all the thoughts that race through, or if it’s the sheer weight of his words that has you almost stumbling.
“It was good to meet you. I’ve enjoyed what you’ve done with this space,” he comments finally, and you step away to face him 
“The pleasure was mine, sir,” you bid, bowing as he turns and walks back to his assistants who whisk him away. You watch the King fade into the distance and disappear to the North end.
He spoke to you for a reason, and the King was right. You are smart. You are smart and professional, and tonight, you know exactly what you must do.
“We need to talk,” you state firmly, closing the door behind you in Joshua’s study. You’re supposed to tutor him tonight, and he doesn’t look up at you as he writes away in his notebook, a smirk making its way onto his face as he starts to speak.
“That’s all I get, Sunshine? No ‘hi,’ ‘hello,’ ‘how are you?’” he teases, but then he looks up at you and catches the grim look on your face and the sound of him dropping his pen echoes through the room. “What is it?”
He stands up so quickly that his chair falls down, but Joshua pays no mind to it, his hands gripping the end of his table as his eyes bore into yours. “What is it?” he asks again and this time he’s hissing it. You know he doesn’t mean to be harsh, but your heart sinks even further than you could imagine.
“Joshua,” and when you say it, your voice is meek. You shouldn’t cry over this—fuck, you hate crying, especially if it’s because of his people. You’ve done more than enough crying over them in your life—you can’t cry over any of this anymore.
“Sunshine, what’s going on? You’re scaring me,” Joshua eggs you on worriedly, moving away from his desk so he can walk over to you. One hand cups your cheek, and you’re struck by the realization that this is the most intimate he’s ever been with you.
What unfortunate circumstances, you think.
“Your father,” you say, having half a mind to push his hand away from your face, but you keep it there because you don’t think you’ll have the will to keep on talking if he’s not touching you.
“What about him?” Joshua asks hastily, grip on your jaw tightening.
“He knows, Joshua, he knows.”
“What are you talking about?” Joshua furrows his eyebrows and asks the question but there’s that voice in his head telling him that he already knows the answer.
“A guard saw us at the courtyard and—”
“We didn’t even do anything,” Joshua tries to protest and with just one look at his face, you can tell he’s trying to figure out ways to rebut whatever that stupid guard saw that night.
“Joshua, you know we can’t do anything about this,” you say exasperatedly, your voice a little louder now that you clutch the elbow of his arm that’s holding your face. “I overheard him talking to Mr. Park.”
Joshua’s eyes widen. “Mr. Park knows? What about your job? Are you going to get to finish the project? Are you—”
“Joshua,” you choke out, and for once you cannot stop your tears. “I don’t care about my goddamn project, I care about you.”
“You love that courtyard,” Joshua argues, and you wince at the way he’s still thinking about that damn courtyard. You brush his hand off of you and for a second it looks like his heart has just broken in two, but then you reach for his face and hold his cheeks with your own two hands.
His skin is smooth and supple with the light grain of stubble that itches against your palm near the underside of your jaw. “Joshua,” you whisper, and it’s now that you feel the warm drops of water hit your skin. Joshua is crying and you don’t think you’ve seen anything that saddens you more. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry,” you beg, fruitlessly wiping away his tears as he silently cries into your hands.
“Why’re you acting like this is the end?” he hiccups and he must hate the sound because he slaps a hand over his mouth and buries his face into it.
“Joshua, no,” you murmur and pull him into you so that his hands can fall and you can cradle his head into your neck, letting your own tears drip onto the silk of his shirt. “It’s not the end,” you try to reason, but he pulls his head away to look down at you with glassy eyes.
“You—you’re lying to me,” Joshua says harshly.
“What are you talking about, I don’t—”
“I know you. I-I—fuck—I fucking know you,” he spits out, causing you to falter backwards. “Why do you think we can’t work this out? I’m the prince, I can—I can change everything and we can be together—”
“Your father —”
“Who gives a fuck, I’ll be king soon anyways and—”
“What if he does something?! What if he revokes your title?”
You’re met with stillness and you think Joshua might just comply with your silent plan but suddenly he’s shaking his head vigorously.
“Okay, then let him. I don’t care about being prince, I—”
“You can’t throw your life away Joshua, not for me!” you protest, holding his face again so you can focus his gaze on yours.
“It’s my life—why, why not?”
“Because I love you. And you can’t sacrifice this—this amazing life—for me!”
“I-I can’t—I don’t,” he stumbles and searches for words as tears fall from his lashes and roll down your hands, your wrists, your arms, “—can’t do it, not without you.”
“You’ve been doing it for years, Joshua, you’ll learn,” you tell him, using one hand to grip his cheek, the other to wipe away at your own.
“You don’t love me,” he chokes out. “You—you wouldn’t do this to me if you loved me.”
“Don’t say that, please.” You press your forehead against his and close your eyes because you can’t bear to look at his tear-streaked cheeks any longer. It’s quiet for a moment, and you can’t help but think that this is the calm before the storm.
“We’ll work it out,” Joshua finally whispers, pulling his head back and cradling the back of your neck with his hands. You don’t say anything, and Joshua doesn’t give you the chance anyway. “Let me have you,” he begs. “We’ll work everything out and it’ll be okay,” he says over a strangled sob, “Just—just be with me tonight.”
And so when you nod, he wipes his tears and pokes his head out of the study to make sure the corridor is empty before tugging your wrist and pulling you to his room. It’s big and grand, just as you’d expect for the prince but Joshua doesn’t want you to look at the intricate walls or the tall ceilings or the golden furniture.
Joshua makes you focus on his burning touch and lets you explore his mouth, his body. And stripped, your bodies are so hot and with wet lips against sheen skin, you feel you might melt into each other’s bones.
Teeth against teeth, nails scraping against skin so hard it digs into the muscle, bruising holds, and sloppy kisses—the feeling is so intense and it crashes onto you and Joshua so hard that you have no other choice but to grip onto each other as you would a lifeline.
And your bodies move so languidly through the sheets, like waves against a shore, or like the wind whistling through the air, until you're trembling and drifting off in each others’ arms.
It would have been perfect. Perfect, if only Joshua had woken up and you were next to him.
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Joshua is lost.
After a frantic hour of running around the palace, asking if anyone had seen you, looking for Seokmin to see if he had any answers, Joshua finds himself in the middle of Sol Invictus. And he racks his brain for answers, for a smidge of anything that gives him a reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t in his arms this morning.
Joshua is lost.
He’s staring at the ground now, and all Joshua can wonder is if it was all a dream. If that moment you both looked out his glass window at the stars before you kissed him on his bed was just a figment of his imagination.
He wonders if you actually did thread your soft fingers through his messy hair and hold him close as both hit your peaks together, and he wonders if your lips really did ghost over his skin as he drifted off into sleep.
Joshua almost doesn’t feel Advisor Lee’s hand on his shoulder. He only hears his voice, really, and when he does, the sound grates against his ears.
“She’s gone.” Advisor Lee’s voice has always been harsh, and Joshua wonders how the same man could’ve produced something—someone—as lovely as Seokmin.
“What are you talking about?” Joshua is good at feigning ignorance, but his voice still quivers.
“I know. Your father and mother know too.”
Joshua is lost.
Joshua’s eyes snap up and suddenly his hands are at Advisor Lee’s collar. When the older man doesn’t seem surprised, Joshua sags. “What the fuck do you know. What—” He inhales sharply as he lets go and steps back, inching closer to Eridenus. “—what did you do to her?”
“She left herself.”
“What are—” Joshua heaves. “What?”
He’s doing it before he even realizes it. Stumbling toward Eridenus with his lungs and heart mushed together so tight he’s got a hole in his chest, Joshua steps over the stone lining and crashes into the shallow water.
Seokmin’s face pales when he walks in on the scene. Coming into the courtyard from the South end, he sees Joshua’s figure before he even recognizes it’s him.
That’s not Joshua, he thinks as he watches his father stand in front of Eridenus where the prince sits. That’s not Joshua.
Joshua’s shoulders are always sharp and his eyes are bright. Joshua’s smile is full and his hands are always ready to love.
This isn’t Joshua, and Seokmin feels it in his gut when he approaches Eridenus.
Joshua sits in the middle of the pond. His knees are bent and the cold water stops at the middle of his chest, leaving the upper third of his body dry. His royal coat and velvet pants, his polished shoes and silk button up, are submerged and rub against the algae coated rocks on the bottom of Eridenus.
Advisor Lee doesn’t speak as Seokmin stands next to him, Eridenus in front of the two with the prince in the middle. Joshua doesn’t say a thing. In fact, it seems like he doesn’t even know Seokmin is here now. His neck is tilted down and he stares at his soaked slacks blankly.
Seokmin is stunned.
This can’t be Joshua, because Joshua’s shoulders are always sharp but now they are hunched over and hardly moving, even as he breathes short breaths through his pale lips.
This can’t be Joshua, because Joshua’s eyes are always bright but now they are dull and dead. Seokmin knows Joshua’s eyes are always bright, but he failed to realize what exactly it was that was lighting them up.
Seokmin thought it was the sun but he was wrong, because even now, as Joshua sits under broad daylight, he is still and his eyes are dull.
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Two weeks since you’ve seen Joshua’s face and you miss his smile.
You miss his smile, the one that crinkles up all the way to his eyes when he laughs at one of your snarky comments. The one that shines his teeth and the one that seemed to never leave your sight when you were with him.
You miss his smile, but his laugh still rings in your ear, early in the mornings when you blink awake and late in the nights when you gasp in hearty breaths and try not to cry. When you take the walk through the city to your work at Mr. Min’s bookshop, the ringing of the street vendors’ bells are bright and cheery, and sometimes you can hear Joshua’s laugh in the mix.
One month since Joshua last looked you in the eye and he wishes he didn’t know why you left. He wishes he was oblivious, because then he could be angry at you—he could have a reason to forget, to move on, to stop loving you.
Joshua knows why you left and it hurts more than anything because this is nothing like a betrayal at all. You left because you love him, and Joshua cannot dispute that—not now, not ever.
Sometimes he walks through Sol Invictus and plucks a hyacinth, letting it blow off into the wind. He hopes you’ll find the lost petals one day.
Two months since you’ve been in the castle and your life is normal. Well, as normal as it can get for you.
Your first semester of the new year started a few days ago, and you’ve since moved into an apartment near your campus. Your mother thinks it’ll be good for you, and you understand her sentiment but you don’t think she understands.
Ironic, you think. You’ve gone full circle, really. Maybe it does run in your blood, like all the whispers said.
You realize you’re okay with that. Maybe you made a mistake with Joshua, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you almost royally fucked up your reputation more than it already was (thankfully, the Royal Counsel was better at keeping it under the wraps this time), maybe no one cares. Maybe your life is a little bit more messed up now, but again—you’re okay with that.
You miss Joshua. You don’t think you’ll ever stop missing him. You’re also okay with that. You’re starting to realize that you’re okay with pretty much anything when it comes to Joshua. And once again, you’re okay with that.
Six months since he’s seen you and Joshua’s chest aches. Partly because he was distracted during fencing and took a jab straight in the middle but mostly because he misses you.
He stands on the balcony of the royal dining hall, waiting for lunch to be served as he looks over the palace and the kingdom that spread beyond. Joshua sees the tall buildings, the rows of houses, and the infamous Hong University that lay in the middle of the commontown around the hill the castle sits on, and he wonders.
You told him you’d be taking an astronomy class this semester, which should have started a month ago. Joshua is old enough and smart enough to know that collegiate astronomy is more than just the moon and the sun and the pretty little dots that button the sky, but still, he wonders.
The sun and its sunlight, rotations and revolutions.
Will you think about him?
Joshua doesn’t need to wonder—he knows.
The sun is bright today and even though it’s winter, the clouds are nowhere to be seen. It’s a bit of a rare occurrence for the cold months, but Joshua doesn’t mind. When he looks at the blue sky and briefly glances at the sun, his shadow on the stone floor, the reflection of light against the railing, Joshua breathes in the chilly air, filling his lungs deeply.
He knows.
Eight months and you still hear Joshua’s laugh.
You hear it when wind whistles in your ear as you walk to a flower shop to buy a pot. You hear it when you look up at the sun and imagine you’re in the middle of Sol Invictus. You hear it when you crouch down on your balcony, placing the little hyacinth into the pot and packing soil around the base.
You miss Joshua, you miss his smile, and more than anything, you miss his laugh. Right now, as you bathe in the memories of a man so far yet so close, you realize that you can miss him all you want, but you won’t forget. You can’t ever forget.
Ten months later and Joshua’s chest still aches, but he’s okay with that.
He sucks in heavy breaths as his lungs search for air on the fencing match, his trainer leaving the room, leaving Joshua after his request to take a break. Through the rush of blood in his ears, Joshua hardly hears the door behind him open.
“Mingyu told me you’ve been struggling with fencing recently,” his mother says, approaching him. Joshua shuffles in his fencing gear, throwing his helmet to the side.
“I’ve just hit a stump.”
“Something tells me this is more than just a stump,” she inquires as Joshua kicks off his boots.
Joshua scoffs, “What makes you say that?”
“Joshua, what’s wrong?”
He pauses, about to pull off his gloves when he looks up at the Queen. “Everyone in the Royal Counsel knows. I’m sure you know too.”
His mother sighs heavily when he stands up, and she follows him out the training room and toward the Residency Quart. There’s a silence that gaps the mother and son—not that Joshua isn’t used to it. He still smiles and grins, he hugs and he bows, and oftentimes it is genuine, but there’s a silence that always follows. A silence that he never forgets.
A silence he holds when he watches the same kitten you held cross his path when he walks through Sol Invictus, slightly bigger but just as nimble and heart warming. A silence he holds when his eyes gloss over the set of Percy Jackson books in the shelves of his room. A silence he holds when he sinks into his covers and presses his nose to the sheets, wondering if he’ll ever be able to taste your skin on his tongue again.
“I won’t ever understand what went on between you two,” his mother finally says.
“There isn’t anything for you to understand,” Joshua tells her, heading towards his room, but his mother stops him and he narrows his eyes. “What? I felt bad for her, alright? When I saw her all those years ago when it all happened out in the gardens—”
“Joshua, what are you talking about?”
“That’s what you want to know, right? Why I talked to her? Why I—I love her?” His mother gives him a stern look, but Joshua doesn’t relent. He’s starting to realize he’s been too comfortable with this silence. “I never asked you to understand it, but I’ll tell you anyway. Maybe because I pitied her or felt sorry for her or all the same stuff, and maybe I didn’t think she deserved to be ostracized for something she never did but—whatever. I’m not asking you to understand, but I am asking you to leave it alone.”
“You’re my son, Joshua.”
The Queen is Joshua’s mother and she doesn’t understand. She may never understand, and Joshua is okay with that because if he’s being honest, he doesn't think anyone will ever understand. He’s okay with that too.
You will understand, and for him, that’s enough.
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You get two letters from the Royal Counsel in your lifetime. You received the first over a year ago—the one you opened with Mr. Min standing across from you in his little bookstore under dingy lights and over the dusty counter. The one you crumpled up and tossed into the dustbin without as much as a second though. The one that led you down a long, winding path which brought you to Joshua.
You receive the second now, standing in your apartment as you look down, except this time you aren’t staring at a paper, you’re staring at the screen of your laptop. You giggle quietly to yourself; Joshua must have taken the Royal Counsel up on still sending letters.
You’ve only looked at the subject of the email so far. It’s got your name and the word “request” written in bold, and you wonder what they want.
Glossing over the text, a wave of nostalgia washes over you. “The Hong Royal Counsel wishes to find you well, as we present a request.” Same shit, huh? “You will have the opportunity to lead a project as you please and earn a notable compensation in payment for your efforts.” Yeah, pretty much.
It’s the same thing, you realize. They want you back—for what, you aren’t sure, but you have a feeling that it doesn’t really matter. Because signed, at the bottom of the email isn’t the usual, “Hong Royal Counsel,” but instead is, “Hong Royal Family.”
The little sun emblem sits below the signatures of the King and Queen, and you press your eyes shut and hold the screen close to your chest, silently praying under your breath that is not a dream.
You don’t know what happened, don’t know what Joshua told them, but to be frank, you don’t care. You’re smart enough to read between the lines.
I don’t understand, they're telling you, But that doesn’t mean I can’t try.
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It’s your first day at the castle. Well, your second first day.
When you park your car at the base of the hill, you smile down at the silk over your waist. You abandoned the new ribbon sent to you by the Court, instead donning the one that came to you in a little white box ten months ago. Sometimes, when you hold it close enough, you still think you can smell Joshua’s skin.
You wonder how long you’ll have to wait for him, but as you look up at the sky, you have your answer.
Something speaks to you when you return to 77. Mr. Park is still gruff and cranky but you swear you see the peek-a-boo of a smile on his lips when you walk in. Jihoon’s there too, he greets you regularly.
And of course there’s Seokmin who is hugging you so tight, it reminds you that he is a full grown man and not a child trapped in a large body. You think he almost cries when he laughs with you about how he almost killed the yarrows again (but he brought them back to life! Trust!), and then he beams and tells you that you gotta check out Sol Invictus.
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It’s beautiful.
Bright hyacinths that line from east to west and your heart is happy because Seokmin told you he’d get everyone to finish planting them and he did. The purple petals let wind whistle through its stems and leaves, the rustling echoing off the walls of the castle that surround Sol Invictus.
The water of Eridenus gleams under the sun, the stone of your pathways glows brightly, and as your eyes flicker around, you notice something new. In each corner field of Sol Invictus, sits a medium sized sculpture, each of a pegasus but all slightly different in pose and manner.
And then you see him, his back facing you, standing in front of one of the statues that sits in one of the fields on the west end.
Walk the line.
Tracing the pathways—your pathway—from East to West with your shoes clacking their short heels against the tiles—you know he can hear you, but still, he doesn’t move. His hands are neatly holding each other behind his back as his neck tilts slightly upward to stare up at the pegasus.
“Aethon, Aeos, Pyrois, and Phlegon,” Joshua says when you finally stop next to him, shoulders barely brushing against each other. “This one is Pyrois.”
“Helios’ pegasi,” you murmur, glossing over the fine details and intricacies of the statue.
“I thought you might like them.”
You don’t say anything for a moment and grin, watching his eyes light up from the corner of your vision. “I love them.”
“Thank god. You were taking so long to respond, I thought you were going to yell at me for fucking up Sol Invictus.”
You laugh and shake your head, both of you shuffling as you face each other.
“Hi,” you say so lightly it comes out as a breathy laugh when you both finally look each other in the eye.
“Sunshine.” Joshua smiles, holding out his hand. The light is warm when it hits your skin, and Joshua’s dark hair glints a light brown under the beams. You take his hand and run your fingers over the calluses of his palm; his skin is warm when his fingers grasp around yours and as you look at his eyes, you feel it in your bones.
This is Joshua, this is Joshua, and every path you follow will always lead you back to him.
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find an alternate ending here!
edit. thanks 4 making it this far! if ur interested i expand on the concept of an isohel more here and little tidbits here, and it's honestly just a ramble but i hope it makes clear why i made some decisions w the story if ur interested :3 a/n. aaah it's done! as per em's request, i will be posting a one-shot of these two and their lives in the future bc i feel like i robbed u guys of a possibly fluffier ending so keep an eye out for that ... anyways, i hope u enjoyed, comments / reblogs would mean the world to me and >_< thank u for reading!
taglist. @synthetickitsune @ixayjun @leejihoonownsmyheart @dahliatopia @gyuswhore @hoeforcheol @5xiang @hajimelvr @miriamxsworld @blinkjunhui @lixiel0ver @josefines-things @mimisxs @kawennote09 @bbyjjunie @rubyreduji @todorokiskitten @98-0603 @hipsdofangirl @minnie-mouser22 @minhui896 @whippedforjihoon @nishloves @woozarts (strikethrough could not be tagged)
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babyleostuff · 6 months
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I've got to feed my delusional ass, so as someone who is a huge nerd i was wondering if you do seventeen hcs to their Friend / S/O / Crush being an actor and playing a phenomenal iconic TV pop culture character? . i have always been dying to get Idol! Seventeen X Actress reader
seventeen x actress!reader | ot13
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CHOI SEUNGCHEOL 
𓆩♡𓆪 he would be a loud and proud supporter - even if the topic of conversation wasn't in any way related to you or even cinema, Cheol would find a way to mention your latest role (he would also probably pull out his phone, and show a bunch of “behind the scenes” photos)
𓆩♡𓆪 he would be the type to fly out to whatever location you were currently shooting at, and surprise you with a bunch of flowers and his Choi Seungcheol™ dimple smile
𓆩♡𓆪 i don’t want to be that person, but i think he would get a bit jealous, and he wouldn’t like watching the kissing scenes - not because he is possessive or anything, he is so happy you get to do what you love, but sometimes he could get slightly insecure of the bond you have with your male co-stars, especially because you spend so much time with them 
𓆩♡𓆪 so he will close his eyes during a kissing scene, but the best solution to cheer him up again is just to give him a couple of (or more) kisses, and he’ll be all smiley and happy again
YOON JEONGHAN 
𓆩♡𓆪 the silent supporter - he wouldn’t start talking about you out of the blue like Cheol, but whenever a trailer of your newest movie would be shown at  the movies, he’d sit there all proud thinking “that’s right, that’s my incredible girlfriend”
𓆩♡𓆪 and he would always bring you to your favourite restaurant when you’d finish shooting, one - to catch up on the time you missed out on, second - to remind you how proud he is of you 
𓆩♡𓆪 Hannie would love to listen to all of the stories you’d share from the set, as well as the photos and videos, and he’d sit through the whole night listening to you, because he knew how happy it made you to talk about your work 
𓆩♡𓆪 he would also keep every ticket from all of your movies when he went to the cinema to see them, probably keeping them in a little box somewhere where you wouldn’t find it 
HONG JOSHUA 
𓆩♡𓆪 i feel like Joshua would be very similar to Jeonghan - the most important thing for him would be for you to know how proud he was of you, he wouldn’t have the need to express it to the whole universe, because people already knew how great of an actress you were 
𓆩♡𓆪 he’d be quite quiet while watching your movies, but you knew it was because he didn’t want to miss even a second of it, especially if it was your scene 
𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d gladly listen to all of your small comments throughout the movie - how you shot that specific scene, or how much you messed up your lines in that specific moment 
𓆩♡𓆪 Joshua would look at you with this smitten gaze, unable to resist the warm feeling when he looked at you all excited and happy 
𓆩♡𓆪 by the end of the movie he’d have a whole paragraph of compliments ready, and he’d make it corny on purpose - to make you both a bit shy, but also to make you laugh  
WEN JUNHUI 
𓆩♡𓆪 as a fellow actor, he’d help you figure out your lines and scenes, he’d practise with you - even if it took the whole night 
𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d be the first person in the line at the movies, with a set of popcorn and drinks, because Jun would be that excited to see your movie 
𓆩♡𓆪 after, he’d send you tons of messages saying how good the movie was, and how good of a job you did, and after writing a whole paragraph of how proud he was of you, he’d call you right away, basically saying all of the things he already wrote 
𓆩♡𓆪 also, the moment it’d come out on streaming platforms he’d watch it with you, gushing the whole time how you crushed that role and how good you looked 
KWON SOONYOUNG 
𓆩♡𓆪 he would be so excited over you being an actress, like - you get to shoot at all of these cool locations, in front of a green screen, and they can make you into a superhero? he’d beg you to tell how all of the movie magic happens, and sometimes you’d find him going through your camera roll to look at the photos from set 
𓆩♡𓆪 you can be sure he’d watch your movies multiple times, he’d buy the DVDs and bring them with him on tour (even though most of them could be found online, he’d still buy them)
𓆩♡𓆪 one time, he even proposed that there should be photocards in the DVDs so he could collect yours 
𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d make the boys watch them with him, even if he’d have to drag Mingyu to the couch, he would fight him just so he would watch the damn movie 
LEE JIHOON 
𓆩♡𓆪 same as Jeonghan and Joshua - he’d be tremendously proud and supportive of you, but in a silent way 
𓆩♡𓆪 and he’d keep the DVDs and Blu-rays in his studio, neatly keeping them on a shelf, with your framed photo as well 
𓆩♡𓆪 if he ever had a bad day, couldn’t figure out a beat, or finish writing lyrics, Jihoon would pick out his favourite movie of yours and play it, so he could take his mind off of the work 
𓆩♡𓆪 i believe he said he isn’t a big movie watcher, as he doesn’t really have time for that, but  he’d always make time for watching your movies, every single one of them (even if you’d tell him that it was alright if he didn’t want to or was too tired, he’d take you the movies himself)
JEON WONWOO
𓆩♡𓆪 artsy boy ⅓ - he would love to talk about the technicalities of the movie, like the camerawork, the cinematography, or the CGI - you could literally spend hours after the movie talking about it 
 𓆩♡𓆪 he would ask you a lot of questions about different shorts, and how they were filmed
𓆩♡𓆪 i feel like he would be too shy to verbally compliment you, because there are no words in the dictionary that could express how proud he was of you, and how great of a job you were doing 
𓆩♡𓆪 but you’d know how supportive he was of you - if he wasn’t, would he be the one insisting on seeing every single one of your movies the moment they premiered? 
𓆩♡𓆪 and on the way home, Wonwoo would have your hand in his, and not let go of it even for a second, looking at you with so much love and adoration, that you’d practically melt under his gaze
LEE SEOKMIN 
𓆩♡𓆪 you’d have a movie marathon once a month where Seokmin would choose a couple of your movies to watch (even if you wouldn’t want to, he’d give you his puppy eyes and you wouldn’t have any other choice)
𓆩♡𓆪 and he would make you say your lines out loud - for some reason it always made him so happy, and you’d always do that because it made him so excited 
𓆩♡𓆪 if he was busy because of work, and didn’t get to watch your movie right away, he’d send you tons of messages apologising that he wouldn’t be able to watch it (and you’d always reassure him that it was fine, of course)
𓆩♡𓆪 but the moment he’d get some time off, he’d make a whole date out of it - first bringing you to your favourite restaurant, then going to the movies, and finishing the day with watching the sunset 
𓆩♡𓆪 it would be his way of apologising, and making up for the time you had to spend apart, and to be honest, you preferred it that way, because it always ended being one of your favourite dates 
KIM MINGYU 
𓆩♡𓆪 artsy boy ⅔ - this man would have like those countdown widgets on his phone, to keep track for when your next movie would come out, and he would drag you to the cinema himself to watch it with you 
𓆩♡𓆪 same as Wonwoo, would talk about the cinematography, and gush about the amazing shots and scenery, to the point where you’d have to remind him that “hey, i was in that movie as well!” 
𓆩♡𓆪 but he’d do that just to tease you - you always  got so pouty and cute when he “forgot” to praise you too, and he would make that up by clinging to you when you got home, and list all of the things he loved about you in that movie 
𓆩♡𓆪 another one that might get a bit jealous when it comes to kissing, and all of that intimate stuff, so it’d be his turn to be pouty and whiny 
𓆩♡𓆪 but he’d quickly realise how stupid that was - you’re literally using him as a human blanket, cuddled in his bed, if anything they should be jealous of Mingyu for having you all to himself 
XU MINGHAO 
𓆩♡𓆪 artsy boy  ³ ⁄ ³ - again, same as Wonwoo, and Mingyu - he’d love to talk about all of the technicalities, camerawork, and would love to see all of the photos from the set and your shooting locations
𓆩♡𓆪 he’d also be the type to surprise you on set, totally out of nowhere (he’d probably write you how busy he was, and that he wouldn’t be able to come and see you, and the pop out out of nowhere)
𓆩♡𓆪 and if you’d be watching it together at the cinema, he’d hold your hand through the whole movie, and squeeze it from time to time
𓆩♡𓆪 if it was more of a, how to say it, psychological? movie - Hao would love to talk about it, i mean you’d probably sit through the whole night cuddled under the duvets in your bed, trying to understand the ending, or pondering on all of the small confusing parts of the movie 
𓆩♡𓆪 and there would be no jealousy there, Mingaho is a very secure and confident person, especially when it comes to your relationship 
BOO SEUNGKWAN
𓆩♡𓆪 Boo would love to go over the scrip with you, helping you with the lines, and acting out different scenes with you, i can imagine how much fun that would be 
𓆩♡𓆪 and if he’d got the chance to visit you on set, he’d look at you with wide heart eyes, adoring everything you’d do, even if you’d be doing a simple dialogue scene, he’d be all smiley 
𓆩♡𓆪 and he would be so happy seeing you happy, doing what you love, and having fun on set - no matter how many kissing scene you’d have to shoot, he’d still be 100% supportive
𓆩♡𓆪 and everyone on set would love him too, i mean, how can you not love this man? 
𓆩♡𓆪 Seungkwan would keep all of the tickets, posters, and flyers from your movies, he’d frame some of them, or hang them on the wall in his room 
CHWE VERNON
𓆩♡𓆪 oh my god, my favourite movie bro - Vernon would eat every single one of your movies up! Like, he loves watching movies, and if you’re in one too??? Automatically 10/10 
𓆩♡𓆪 he’d love to hear all of the stories from set, and he’d be the one nagging you to send more pictures from the location you were currently shooting at 
𓆩♡𓆪 and because you knew you big of a fan and a movie geek he was, you’d always make sure to get him an invitation to your every movie premiere 
𓆩♡𓆪 this man would fanboy so much when he’d meet your co-stars, or the directors, like that would be a dream come true for him 
𓆩♡𓆪 so to say that he would be 100% supportive of you and your job would be an understanding - he wouldn’t get jealous or sulky over the intimate scenes, Vernon knows very well that that’s just a part of your work, and it’s a natural part of it 
𓆩♡𓆪 and being able to say that this superstar is his significant other??? Chef’s kiss 
LEE CHAN 
𓆩♡𓆪 heart eyes 24/7, like he’d be so so proud of  you, and sometimes he wouldn’t believe you’re his girlfriend, because you’re like this huge actress, and he gets to call you his
𓆩♡𓆪 i cannot stress this enough, but he would be the most supportive and proud boyfriend ever - you know those soccer mums and dads that have banners and scream anytime their child touch the ball? that would be Chan
𓆩♡𓆪 he would re-watch your movies whenever you’d be away, or when he went overseas for schedules, he’d definitely have a list of comfort movies, and watch those every night 
𓆩♡𓆪 Chan would have a collection of all of the DVD and Blu-rays with your movies, and keep them neatly on the shelf in his room  
𓆩♡𓆪 also, you’d probably have to comfort him a little after a kissing scene, or a more intimate one, because he’d get a bit upset (but nothing to serious, it’d for just a moment)
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag
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onlyseokmins · 10 months
Text
the devil wears baby blue • h.j.s.
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Pairing: joshua hong x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors PLS dni!), strangers to fucking lol Warnings: joshua hong himself 🚩🚩, swearing, alcohol, reader is a menace and tease too i'm ngl, grinding, groping, slight exhibition kink, degradation, name-calling, objectification, FINGERS (all of it fingering, riding, etc), mentions of knife/surgery, choking, wbk but major hints to big cock josh 💔, marking, licking, alluding to devil imagery uwu, roleplay sort of but not really, kind of public sex acts + a mirror, manhandling, lil slaps, dangerous fashion decisions + "fun" clothing shenanigans during sex ig????, mentions of car sex and oral sex (male rec.), dirty talk (joshua won't stfu), edging, lil bit of pain kink if you squint ❤️‍🩹, and tons of banter/insults, is there a thing like a wealth kink??? - as always lmk if i missed smth WC: 7k A/N: *taps mic* would love to thank @onlymingyus and @duhnova for proofing, hyping, and supporting me on this. also ofc a huge honorary shout out to @hwanghyunjinenthusiast for the constant cheering and screeching at me in and out of dms - hope you enjoy this hehe. idk if jackie will see this but her watch post(s) helped re-inspire me to attack this wip. and finally blowing kisses to the joshushushus in my inbox, i hope you'll like this! ps if anyone recognizes where the last dialogue is from, you receive a kiss on the forehead from me and get to spend one night with joshua!! 😏
↪ this is a loosely based prequel to idiot
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Seungkwan's hand lays steady on your back, guiding you through the crowd much more efficiently than you could have on your own. He has a way of navigating through the waves of people with practiced ease whereas you would rather just be swept away. It's why you enjoy going to the club with him, especially one as crazy as tonight's.
You would think you were still on the dance floor with how many people are bustling around you, mingling and giggling just as much on the sidelines as they do moving to the music. Drinks in hand, they chat and flirt with one another so it takes nearly twice as long to make it to the bar than you think it really should.
"This better be worth it," you shout directly into your friend's ear despite how close you are to him. "For the amount of times my feet have been stepped on!"
There's a sharp pinch from his fingers that snuck to your side. "Told you not to wear those stupid shoes." 
Though you can't exactly hear it, you can see how his pouty lips purse out in a huff. He's also grumbling under his breath and you're able to catch bits and pieces. Things like, "won't matter" and "swept off your feet anyways" and "don't blame me" make you roll your eyes.
"Acting like this is my social debut with the prince of wales."
"Someone's been watching too much Bridgerton. And with how often you fail to come —" he's interrupted by the loud thumping of the bass, "makes sense."
"You can't possibly compare me against your standards, Mister Social Butterfly. You know everyone… and you've probably screwed a lot of them as well."
Seungkwan can only guess a gist of what you actually say and is therefore mildly tempted to let you get lost in the sea of people like he knows you'd rather prefer. But he's finally made it all the way over to what seems like an impenetrable social circle, though the group readily parts to make room for the two of you to squeeze in. So, he'll have to bring you along for the adventure. 
"Hey there!" 
"Hello!"
"Fancy seeing you here."
"I know, right?" 
Greetings are easily interchanged. Most of them are familiar faces — friends of your own or people you've gotten to know simply through Seungkwan's ever-growing collection of new instagram posts. 
Jeonghan's got some poor new soul to flirt with again and Seokmin looks like he'd rather be at home watching cooking videos. Vernon is wearing headphones of all things while Seungcheol has a shit-eating grin on his handsome face. And you instinctively know Mingyu has to be up to no good because you don't see or hear him.
Not that you're actually paying that much attention to the same-old-same people, focus naturally drawn to the tall man standing next to Wonwoo. Light brown hair curls just beneath his ears, shaggy enough that the urge to run your fingers through and imagine what the tug of strands between them might feel like consumes you. It comes as a shock, considering that Jeonghan's had the same style before and you've never felt like this.
You drink in the baby blue shirt that compliments the mystery man's skin tone, top buttons left undone to showcase the delicate silver around his throat and framed by collar bones. The fabric's elegance belies the strength of the body it clothes, material straining tastefully in the tiniest bit over a broad chest and wide shoulders. Sleeves rolled up to accentuate the flex of his forearm down to the long, long fingers wrapped all the way around the glass of alcohol held between them.
"That's Joshua Hong," Seungkwan supplies helpfully though he can't hide how smug he sounds observing you and shares a knowing look with Vernon who snickers.
"Joshua Hong," you repeat and enjoy how easy his name sounds and feels coming off your tongue. "Is that so?"
"Yeah and to my knowledge, he's extremely single."
"Don't tell me that's how you introduce me to other people."
He feigns innocence. "Can't recall but even if I did, bet it's going to work in your favor. Don't look now but it seems like you've caught a big fish."
Of course, when someone tells you not to look, the first thing you'd logically do is look. Glad you weren't caught staring earlier now that the very same man you were drooling over has noticed your existence and is staring directly at you. 
Brown irises drop down to scan your figure and the suggestiveness of it lights something deep within you. You're quick to nudge off Seungkwan's arm around your waist when Joshua's eyes linger a second longer on it than you'd expect, ignoring your friend's sassy mutter of "hook, line, and sinker."
"I… I really don't like that implication, 'Kwan."
"Sure you don't."
Joshua Hong's intent gaze is far from unsavory. Even if it was more perverse in nature, you think you'd feel drunk off the same amount of power it fills you with and you haven't had a single drop of alcohol yet. A swear word escapes under your breath at the dampness of your back — and elsewhere — before sending the admiring man a demure smile of acknowledgement and turning once more to Seungkwan.
"You were criticizing my shoes earlier?"
"'Cause you can barely walk in them!"
"Then let's put these bad boys to good use."
Your friend can only shake his head as you stride away. He'll keep an occasional eye on you from afar for the rest of the night but he has a hunch things will be… fine. He hopes. Wonwoo did say Joshua was a decent man, after all.
He'll have to be… if he's willing to put up with you, Seungkwan thinks to himself with a cringe as he watches. 
Vernon hands over a much appreciated beer and he sidles up to the unbothered man's side, jutting his chin out in your direction and asking, "Are you ready for some entertainment?"
"Yo, always bro."
"Cheers to that."
Meanwhile, you've made it to the new company without stumbling once — something you're very proud of. You nod at Joshua. Nothing more than a soft flutter of eyelashes, alerting him that you're aware of his presence but indulging in nothing more. Instead, you choose to lean comfortably into his companion's space.
"Hi Woo, care to share?"
The bespectacled man wordlessly offers his nearly empty glass of wine, always easygoing and ever perceptive. Unlike his best friend who never fails to be endearing but can't take a hint to save his life. One of the many reasons why Mingyu has never succeeded as a wingman —  unfathomably clumsy but still loveable in all aspects to steal everyone's heart involved.
You finish the rest of Wonwoo's drink off with a satisfied hiss at the taste but not without a snort. "I didn't mean that, silly."
He cracks a smile, returning the teasing with a fake, reproaching scold of your name. "Could've told me you wanted to steal my buddy and not drain all my alcohol!"
Joshua laughs — loud and clear above the din of noises surrounding you. It has an air of gracefulness to it and you're sure the club brightens in a way that's totally not from the strobe lights going crazy.
"So, this is Seungkwan's friend…"
You jab Wonwoo's side with a huff. "Hey, I'm much more than that!"
"If it's any consolation," Joshua cuts in with another laugh and a handshake, taking on a self introduction. "I'm just some guy named Joshua. Hope that doesn't disappoint."
"Just some guy, huh? One that wears a Royal Oak?" 
He thrillingly doesn't let go of your hand, keeping a firm but gentle grasp when turning it with his to properly glance at the notorious status symbol wrapped around it. The steel casing glints just as fiercely as the sapphire glass over white gold hour-markers embedded on its face. 
"Yep, still just some guy that's called Josh. Joshua Hong, to be exact. Scared you off yet?" 
"I wear heels that have a one hundred percent chance of breaking my ankle to a place where there's a terrible combo of dancing and drinks. But you think I'd be scared by a pretty boy wearing thirty-some jewels around his wrist?"
He steals another appreciative look up and down your body. Not as fiery as the first one but still bold without shame, striking another bolt of heat that flashes through your veins and simmers in your lower abdomen. 
"Taste. And bite. I'd expect nothing less from someone like you."
"Someone like me?" you scoff as he winks, taking a step back and extending your arm as far as it will go with the notion for you to follow.
"Dance with me?"
Wonwoo had quietly faded into the background and slipped away for another refill. Smart guy. There's no one to worry about leaving behind when you accept this unfamiliar man's invitation and let him whisk you in the direction of the dancefloor. But not before catching Seungkwan's mild and supportive yet watchful gaze before he raises his beer in a mock salute.
It's almost cute at how inept Joshua is maneuvering through the tumultuous flow and ebb of moving bodies compared to said good friend. The way his taller frame looks more like a poor cruise ship tossed helplessly in the waves of the ocean than the stationary lighthouse and its reassuring beacon you'd expect causes a chuckle.
"You're almost as bad at this as I am."
He shoots an apologetic smile at the same time someone once again jostles his shoulder, pushing him closer into you. "Nightclubs really aren't my scene."
You're not complaining about the aided proximity that lets you hear what he says without strain. Although you do try to match the beat as it changes to something more sensual yet still playful. Going along with the rhythm of the other dancers rather than against much smoother than Joshua's awkward attempt to mimic. He sticks behind you, failing to hide the blatant mesmerization at how you sway effortlessly to the beat.
"You're not bad at this at all."
You shrug. "I've been here often enough to blend in better than most. So tell me, what's a rich boy's usual scene then? Shanqin Bay's clubhouse?"
"Hah, you wanna come with me sometime and find out?"
"Only if you can promise a fun experience… oh," you throw a smirk at him over your shoulder, "and to cover all the costs, of course."
"A pretty thing like you would have anyone saying yes and wrapped around your little finger." 
"Maybe, but only if they're worth my attention."
"Afraid to disappoint yet again when I spend most hours of the day in the operating room."
You turn abruptly to face him, grateful for the hand that shoots out to support your elbow despite his surprise at your dubious side-eye. "Are you a doctor?"
"Maybe."
"Director's son?"
"Cliché enough for you yet?"
"I recall someone who's wearing a Royal Oak saying I had good taste so I'm not going to complain. Though it would have been quite the story to hear you were the one under the knife," you take a step closer and slip a finger underneath his silver chain to tempt him closer, "to end up looking this good." When large hands hesitate to land on your hips, you raise an eyebrow. "Thought a surgeon would have a steadier grip."
"Oh." Brown eyes flicker with a carnal desire, focusing on your lips. "You expect me to be a rich, talented playboy and not be naturally handsome too?" 
"Sorry, Doctor Hong but there has to be at least something wrong with you."
The polite smile he'd been wearing all night quirks up at the corners, changing into something more on edge. A little dangerous. Beckoning excitement. He spins you back around, hands solidly landing on your sides — this time without reserve — to prevent your lower bodies from touching and changes the subject back to when you approached Wonwoo and him.
"Do you always take drinks from guys?"
"Ah, hm. Just the good ones."
"Good alcohol?" His breath is hot against the ear he's speaking directly into. "Or… good boys?"
Biting your lower lip does nothing to hide the unfettered glee you're feeling. "Alcohol, of course." A breathy sigh and you take the leap. "Want a taste?"
There's no need to ask twice. It's like the right key turning its lock. The doctor's initial awkward movements are nowhere to be found as one hand smoothly leaves your hip, turning your chin toward him to meet you halfway with his lips ready to brush against yours. 
At the last minute, he backs off and turns your chin to its original position of facing forward with a smirk you can't see. Who cares about a missed kiss when his other hand slides across your stomach? Urging you to press your ass backwards and grind against the very obvious bulge that his khakis do nothing to hide.
Its growing hardness and promising length cause you to automatically moan, arching your back with the feral need to feel more. Your head tilts to the side, hips swiveling and swaying not to the beat but the rise of his cock. The position willingly grants Joshua access to lick, suck, and bite at the exposed skin. 
He hums along to the music with a melodic voice from what you can hear, though you find more enjoyment in the consistent vibrations against your neck. A naughty hand plays with the tucked-in hem of your blouse and an occasional finger teasingly slips under the waistline of your jeans.
You can now feel Joshua's smirk when in turn, your fingers tangle in the bottom hairs of his mullet. His lips curl up, moving to nibble behind your other ear and breathe in your scent. As delightfully predicted, there's a distinct pull by your rings when you tug them free from the strands that has him pausing. Eliciting a sharp hiss and equally as sharp — but appreciative — thrust against your backside. 
In retaliation, the lax hand caressing your throat tightens around it ever so slightly while he growls in your ear, "You said there has to be something wrong with me, right?"
"Mhm, oh yeah. Totally."
"Wanna fuck around and find out, beautiful?"
Hook, line, and sinker was damn right, Boo Seungkwan. Of course, the devil would be wearing a shirt the same shade as the sky where heaven's clouds make their home.
And you eagerly take the forbidden fruit — his hand, once again — and teeter after him. The red flags are already starting to fly at full mast but into the dimly lit hallway you go, elated to find an empty and quiet corner right before the stairs leading down to the bathrooms.
Underneath the neon glow of the exit sign, Joshua pins you against the wall with your arms laying on his shoulders. If you thought the attacks from his mouth were rough on the dance floor, they turn ten times more animalistic now that he has something to support you with other than strong arms and big hands. A pair of soft lips and the warm wet tongue between them contrast with the digging in of his teeth that follow your necklace chain to its adorning pendant. 
It hangs in the v-neck window of your blouse and he lets out a tiny grunt of displeasure at the breasts being concealed away by the fabric and its many buttons. That doesn't stop him from tugging the bottom of the shirt free like a petulant child, nothing preventing his fingers now free to tickle and feel up the bare skin beneath. 
This man is good at distraction. You don't think much of the light grazing beneath your tits, only a fleeting and casual touch. It feels so good when he cups under them like an additional support for the bra you're wearing and squeezes, causing you to keen and push yourself further into him. Then quick as lightning, one hand sneaks around the back to unhook the bra's clasp and the other deftly unbuttons your jeans.
"Joshua!" you squeak in protest, stepping back and pressing flat against the wall. You're quick to rush and slap a hand against your chest to keep the beloved strapless bra that's served you well from falling to the ground. "Is your red flag undressing someone in public?"
"Only if you insist 'cause surely I would never decline such a request being the gentleman that I am." The doctor makes no further move despite the way he licks his lips and teases, only chuckling at the menacing way you squint. "Just know my full intentions are to be touching all over and especially under whatever layers you're wearing very shortly."
There's no use hiding the whine that escapes when he places a hand on the wall next to you and leans in with a smirk.
"However, sweetheart… " 
You catch his line of sight dart off to the left and your heart plummets, the fear of being left high and dry (wet) setting in. "Josh — "
"You'll have to forgive this rich boy's schemes. You see, I've always been very spoiled and just have to take what I want right away. And you're much too irresistible…" 
He speaks casually. Like your jeans weren't suddenly unzippered and he isn't currently running a tantalizing finger on the fabric below the waistband of your panties, causing them to soaken further down. Way more than they already had and almost where you need him but also not even close in the slightest. 
"Though as a rich boy," he continues, "I'm more than familiar with providing a small courtesy here and there. Would this club's filthy bathroom offer enough privacy for you, gorgeous?"
"… Only if you make sure I'm presentable enough to get down there… and back up here after, for when I have to leave with my friends."
Joshua's eyes widen before he's throwing his head back and laughing, bright and cheery like he's not going to rearrange your guts. "So you don't expect to go home with me? Maybe I won't be such a walking red flag to you."
"Doubtful. Now fix me up, Doctor." 
"With pleasure." 
It's not like there are as many people milling about as in the main area. Still, it's good to be conscientious. The same adept hands re-fasten your top undergarment efficiently. When he ducks his head to kindly fix your pants — which is sort of hot — you take the opportunity to whisper in his ear for shit-and-giggles to gauge his reaction.
"You know there's a front clasp too."
He glances up from where he's eye-level with your covered breasts, eyes darkening. Bingo. 
"What a little whore we have here, hm?"
The nonchalant, degrading question and burning desire in his gaze makes your knees weaken, arousal skyrocketing. Enough that you almost throw all caution to the wind for him to fuck you. Right here, right now. But then he's pulling away, offering a palm you can't seem to refrain from taking a hold of. And ever the true picture of being a gentleman — helps you descend down the dark stairwell.
Your killer heels really do nothing for you physically (besides the threat of rolling an ankle) because it doesn't matter how tall or short you end up with them on. It's the confidence and ego that are heightened exponentially, which is all that matters. 
That's why you follow Joshua Hong into the sketchy bathroom, let him lock the door, and bat your eyelashes with a coy smile. Leaning against the sink and fussing with your blouse as he approaches like a predator eyeing up its prey. Greedily drinking in the bare skin revealed by each button that's undone until only one is still fastened — right across your tits — that the man can unclasp himself if he so chooses.
Barely anything stopped him before anyways.
And that's what also fuels you to put your arms around his neck, pressing your bodies close together. Even closer by hooking your right leg across his hip, the point of your heel digging intentionally into the back of his other thigh. It's hot and hard — the dick bulge that keeps growing pressed tightly into the snug warmth of your core — and Joshua lets you grind down and dampen his khakis for a few moments longer than expected.
"Desperate, aren't you? Didn't wanna fuck in public 'cause you're freakier behind closed doors?"
"Just a little." You fight back the urge to whimper or admit anything to him. Like you aren't humping his length that only swells more and feels achingly thicker the harder you rut against it, eyelids fluttering the few times it's able to deliciously spread your pussy lips just the slightest through your clothes. "I'm so wet — "
"The more of a mess you leave on my pants, the longer I'll have to edge you while waiting for them to dry." Joshua grins cockily at you trying to force your hips to stop themselves only to struggle pathetically in vain. "Think you'd like that. Haven't even gotten to fuck this hot little cunt yet and I'm already certain I wouldn't mind being buried in there for hours. But don't know if your friends will stick around for that long…"
"J-Josh, ah — Shua… mhm!"
"So I think you'd better behave if you know what's good for you," he stills your hips hard, "fuckin' slut."
You mewl at the hard, rude thrust that bumps your clit as if he was actually fucking you. Like goo, you let him manhandle you around so you're bent over and facing the smudged mirror, hands gripping tightly to each side of the sink basin. Aided by the reflections, you witness how he shamelessly ogles the tempting ass that's been rubbing all over him all night. And of course that means you have to perk up and wiggle your hips, giving him quite a show.
The small distance between you clears the lust cloud and you throw a smoldering glance over your shoulder. "If you fuck me with my heels on, I'll give you a chance with them off."
Joshua swats your ass — not very hard but you release a yelp of surprise. "Wasn't aware that you were running the show, sweetheart."
"It's my backside you're looking at."
"Knew you were mouthy the minute I saw you. You're aware of how kind I am, so let me give you a choice." He's anything but kind as he sighs and leans his weight over top of you. Despite the bracing strength of his arms, you feel suffocated by just being caged in between them and the overpowering scent of his cologne. "I shut you up with either my fingers in your mouth or around your throat."
Oh… decisions, decisions! Long fingers that would surely feel best deep inside your pussy but that wasn't one of the options. You purse your lips in thought and arch up, balancing the heavy cock supported by your ass and unconsciously pouting. Joshua has the audacity to look at the time while brushing back his hair and clicks his tongue.
"Wow, I'm letting you choose between sucking on my fingers like a slut or being choked like a whore and you still can't decide? What a high maintenance toy."
The urge to scoff is extremely strong. "Sucking it is then, Doctor Hong," you say sweetly and then add with a sneer, "like the perfect slut that I truly am."
"When your friends all said you were nothing but a gentle soul, I knew they were duped. Only one was partially truthful in saying you could be sassy which doesn't even come close. Little do they know there's a bratty cockwhore with quite a bite underneath all that charm."
"Haven't fucked any of them, that's why. No plans to either."
"Yeah, what was it you like — oh right, good boys?" He laughs — low, mean, and degrading. "Then what am I, sweetheart?"
"A doctor who's full of himself and needs taken down a few, ha, pegs."
"Ah, there it is." Joshua undoes the final button, slipping a curious finger beneath the bra's front hook pulling your tits together. You shiver when it snaps against your skin after he retracts, pointer finger tracing a lazy line up your throat to its final destination. "The attitude."
You willingly part your lips, lolling your tongue out mischievously to match the roll of your eyes. "Someone gets off on it."
"Is that so?" He smears the lipgloss on your lower lip by pulling it down before releasing it. "Do you think this is all a coincidence, darling?" Meeting the hardened gaze in the mirror, you shake your head. "The minute I saw such a sparkling gem on Wonwoo's story, I just had to have it for myself."
It's not hard to guess what he's referring to. A couple weeks ago, you wore enough scraps of fabric to just cover your nipples and the areas between your legs. Drinking far too much and hanging off of the WonGyu duo's broad frames while the whole gang partied it up together at Vernon's. You had even asked them to send you the videos and pictures after because damn, you did look hot as fuck.
Who knew it would be bait for an entitled pretty boy? 
"At least you waited to find me when I wasn't drunk."
"Much more fun to break someone sober."
"Glad to know consensual exists in your vocabulary."
"How about it — will you let me destroy this little pussy of yours and ruin it to keep you crawling back to me for more?"
"Sure, if you ever stop talking and actually do something — "
Joshua's quick to shut you up, almost cracking your jaw with the harsh thumb that's jammed in the corner of your mouth to prop it open. The following two fingers are thrust cruelly inside as a replacement so it can move to keep your chin steady. They're able to reach so far when pinning down your tongue, ending up wedged near the back of your throat so you're already gagging around them. 
"Most sluts behave the second I drop the nice guy act. But boy oh boy, it only makes you act up more, eh?" 
He finally does away with your bra to allow those gorgeous tits to spill out and casually rips the garment from your body like it's personally offended him. Maybe it has. Shoving it away into his back pocket and then urgently tugging your jeans down. The binding position you're left in helps keep your shaky legs in place while you cling to the sink like it's a lifeline. Upper body supported only by the cruel hold he has on your face until he yanks it back so you're flush against him instead, the cool baby-blue silk of his shirt set ablaze by your shared body heat. 
"Next time, wear something that has easier access. Or better yet… maybe nothing at all or I'll be forced to rip it off." A piercing set of eyes attempt to glare into yours that roll back delightfully despite what's likely some snark ends up sounding all jumbled. "Oh yes, there will be a next time, sweetheart. I have to train this cunt to yearn for my cock — and you don't think you'll get it that easily, right?"
Joshua chuckles darkly knowing you can't reply. But liking to be full of surprises, you relax your upper jaw while his fingers trail across your pelvis and close your lips around the ones in your mouth. Suckling and swirling once the tension in them relaxes despite the naughty thought of biting. That doesn't eliminate the occasional graze of your teeth as a threat, responding to his words in your own way.
"Just look at yourself, slobbering all over… bet you suck cock like a champ. And prolly like it real messy. How well-trained you'd look trying to balance on these pointed heels while I fuck that bratty mouth."
You moan at the visual he's painted in your head. 
"That's right, darling." There's a mean pinch to your clit followed by the man's groan at the ruined fabric squelching between his fingertips and how the covered little nub was already begging for friction. "Now tell me how long your cunt's been warming up and soaking these drenched panties?"
"Since the beginning…" you admit once he's freed your sore mouth and chooses to bully your breasts next. "When you looked at me."
He snickers, pushing your underwear to the side and petting at the bare slippery folds. Just able to barely see a small glimpse of where his actions play with your lower body in the mirror. At least your expressions make up for what he misses seeing.
"Aw, this soft pussy started drooling the minute I laid eyes on you? While I was imagining all the things I could do to these tits," the hand on one of them palms at the rounded flesh hard. "This ass," his pelvis grinds in a slow circle against it. "Mhm, and of course, this hidden gem." 
At that, a thumb brutally rubs at your clit while plunging a finger inside the warm, wet walls that eagerly pulse around it. You weren't wrong about how good the digit would feel inside, the length and stretch of its bony knuckle feeling good enough to substitute as a mini-dick when Joshua starts a slow and methodical pace with it.
"Thought about having you spread out in the backseat of my Bugatti La Voiture Noire, you'd look like a vision laying across its leather seats. And the best thing? No one can see inside so you'll get your much desired privacy while being right out in the open."
Then he's adding another finger, longer than the first. And finally one more with an additional push in and out of the others. Clearly his experience on how to work a pussy is more than helpful. Alternating between stuffing your hole full of all three or changing up the pace and number each turn. 
And of course, your chest is attended to as well. Both nipples tugged in iterations to match the rhythm of each finger spearing into your cunt, the pendant of your necklace bouncing in time. Without fail, he hits the bundle of nerves with a deadly precision that has you going slack against him.
"Maybe we should do that 'cause," he mumbles in your ear, "this filthy hole is awfully good at convincing me to spoil its owner like no one else. Let's see if it can tell me how much it'll want me to fill it up one day."
Your ears ring with the devastating screams of white noise at the sudden stop. The moans you were letting out trail off into a dissatisfied growl. His hand falls away from your upper body while the one in between your legs merely sits nice and snug, still inside but not moving. Far too relaxed, limp even.
"Joshua!"
"C'mon, weren't you listening? Convince me."
"Fuck you," is what you spit out, glaring at the challenging and impossibly smug reflection of the menace behind you. 
"You didn't say fuck off, so… I'm waiting." 
Another check at his watch like he's bored infuriates you enough to move your hips. Whining at how his fingers fail to stiffen and only follow your pitiful motions back and forth. Out of protest, you reach behind and take a harsh hold of the hard length you're able to grab.
"Watch it, darling!" Joshua flinches and the way his cock twitches dulls the venomous words that come next. "Or I'll leave you here all needy and by yourself, waiting for some other pathetic dick to hop onto in order to satiate just a little bit of this wet and slutty pussy's behaviors."
Well, that idea doesn't appeal to you whatsoever so you lean on the sink with a huff to do what needs done. It's a struggle to stay balanced on your heels while grabbing at his wrist but a small part of you knows he won't let you fall, a bicep supporting under your breasts. Revenge comes sweetly by digging your nails into the tense muscle of his forearm and leaving scratch marks that have him hissing.
And now you know for sure —  despite the doctor's incredibly huge ego and big talk, Joshua Hong's no better than a painslut.
"Hah," you breathe out and start to slowly rock your hips. "Disrespectfully, go to hell."
Ignoring the abrasive insult — because he's a demon anyways — Joshua focuses on the wet suctioning sound growing louder the faster you move. The feeling of your tits and necklace hitting his arm to the beat of your hip bounces and enjoying the view of how his fingers disappear beyond the jiggle of your asscheeks. Up into the tight heat of velvety walls as you force his hand to behave and serve your needs like one of your dildos, though they've never been this uncooperative.
"That's it. Yeah, there we go… just like that. Go ahead and make yourself cum riding my fingers, beautiful. Uh-huh, now who's using me like a little whore to get off?"
You're already losing yourself. Waiting for that rising wave to crest because despite his annoying mouth, Joshua's fingers are more than skilled enough to hurl you into a delightful climax. As long as nothing interrupts it.
"Answer me — or I'll make you choke yourself."
"Mhm…"
He likes seeing how your face contorts, moans getting louder. It's too addicting which is why he growls out, "Do it." 
It's a feat to let go of the sink but the reward is to move his arm around your bra-line to your throat, making his hand envelope it. The visual in the mirror is depraved — limbs all wrapped and tangled with each other — and your half-closed eyes taunt the searing gaze in the mirror, repeating his words right back. 
"Why not do it yourself, Doctor?"
"Are you some sort of succubus or what?" He spits out the question like it's the germs on the toilet seat next to you. Freeing himself momentarily from the grip of your hand and your cunt, the man's at least nice enough to assuage the pissed off whine with a consoling lick up your neck and tugs impatiently at your pants. "Take these off."
"Go fuck yourself," you mutter darkly with half the mind to walk out of there. But you do as he says, quickly shimmying them off while your clit buzzes and twitches angrily at the neglect of stimulation again. 
Joshua's eyes don't look away, his hands steadying your hips and your pussy aching when you hear how he slowly slurps on his fingers to clean them. Once you step back into your heels, he throws the jeans over his shoulder. 
"Careful with the phone," you threaten. 
Joshua snorts and bends over to secure a strap for you — sucking harshly on the skin of your thigh as a "you're welcome" but pulling away before your hands can tangle in his hair and keep him down there. 
"Wrong thing to say to someone who likes broken and expensive things. Shouldn't you be warning me not to break something else?" Suddenly, your other shoe dangles precariously off your foot when he uses a strong hand to lift and support your leg onto the sink's surface. "Like this poor pussy?" 
The straining burn in your muscles and the added chill of the porcelain is all alleviated by harsh rubbing at the tender skin of your entrance. Middle and pointer finger eagerly prying sloppy pussy lips apart once again.
"Ah, but I might enjoy that." 
A clear glob of arousal drips from your hole fluttering and clenching around nothing. Joshua leers hungrily past your shoulder at the mirror's erotic display of your exposed cunt and the wetness shining under the buzz of the bathroom's fluorescent lights.
"Dirty and yet it's such a pretty little jewel. Sparkling and glistening so, so lovely that I can't wait to watch it shatter while playing with it."
Finally, all three fingers from before work in tandem to scissor repeatedly inside of your tight warmth without forgiveness. This time, the devil has nothing but good intentions to send you over the peak of pleasure. His eyes can't stop feasting on the raunchy way your greedy hole gobbles up his fingers. The loud squelches accompanying his motions echo around the small enclosed space, mixing with the warm breath hitting the side of his cheek from your gasping moans.
Joshua thinks it's mighty cute how puffy your outer pussy lips grow and struggle to spread around the thick and long digits shoved inside plus the onslaught of his thumb bullying your clit. The angle shows the slightest bulge of them relentlessly stroking the bundle of nerves that has your leg twitching from the sheer pleasure.
He focuses on bringing you there, all on what you're feeling rather than his own pleasure because you have the most convincing cunt ever that deserves to be ravaged by a large, girthy cock. A shame it has to wait because he cannot give in so easily. But you're definitely a piece of work. Joshua likes that. 
"Gonna keep making a mess on my fingers, darling? Leave 'em all sweet and wet enough for me to wrap around my dick later and pretend it's your pussy instead."
You'll be the death of him when your head rolls into the crease of his neck, drool dampening the skin as you mouth senselessly at the vein protruding beneath. There's a sharp sting — the certain kind he hasn't felt in a very long time. A telltale warning of a hickey, the beautiful colors of red and purple already rushing to the surface and decorated by little nips of your teeth after you soothe the pain with your tongue.
No one marks up Joshua Hong. Sure, he's had lipstick stains before but those can easily be swiped off with a handkerchief and washed away in the shower. He can't help but smirk though, knowing when he eventually wipes your sticky lipgloss off, something of you will remain for a bit.
However you can't go without a little punishment. If you can even call it that when he returns to wrapping a hand around your throat. Anyone else who dared to leave a mark would be walked away from. But you — you simply lose enough oxygen causing your head to spin more pleasantly than it already is. 
And you claw at his forearm, scratching it up ten times more to serve as a further reminder for Joshua to look at. You're by no means urging him to stop but to earnestly keep going while simultaneously searching for something — anything — to anchor you down as you float into an almost unconscious state of pure ecstasy. 
It's by far the strongest, most intense orgasm you'd ever experienced. Becoming nothing but a bag of bones in his arms as your walls pulsate around his fingers and the fruitful expenditure of your release drips down his wrist.
He stays in that position, unable to move anyways with the vice-like grip of your spasming cunt cramping his fingers. Instead, drawing out the pleasure as much as possible by squeezing and releasing the pressure on your throat over and over again. The true picture of debauchery — heaven and sin mixed in one — and he kind of wishes for a third arm to take a photo for a keepsake. 
Everything in your body aches deliciously. You feel both refreshed and exhausted when you finally come to and even then Joshua supports your weak body as you try to regain control over your wits and whereabouts.
"Pants," you croak out and wave him off when he tries to gentlemanly assist. Which he still kind of has to when you almost topple face-first on legs that feel like jelly. "Bra." 
Joshua's a little less enthusiastic to hand that over, bitter sarcasm lacing his words. "Wow, won't even grant me a souvenir?"
"Boo-hoo," you gripe back and pretend not to notice the eyes glued to the way your tits bounce when adjusting the garment around them. Turning to look in the mirror, you work on dulling the "just got fingered in the bathroom" appearance. "It's not like you need one and it seems even less likely you'll keep anything from a stranger, especially lingerie."
"Hm, I like how well you read me."
"Of course you do, fuels that large privileged ego. Don't get used to it. But, want me to do something about that one though?"
He coughs at the rather suggestive insult, shifting his pants and shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide the messy boner you're referencing. "Guess I did a great job if you're begging for it already."
"Oh, for goodness sake I'm being courteous."
"Cute." 
Joshua admits it almost like he's startled by the words that escape his mouth. Further surprising both of you with a clumsy, sloppy kiss to the cheek when he leans over to fasten the top button of your blouse. As if embarrassed, he's already halfway out the door when he remembers to mention, "I'll be thinking of you darling, look forward to your call!"
You're left staring at the saliva spot reflected on your cheek in shock. And then, you wipe it off with the rest of the accumulated sweat to make yourself a bit more presentable and then head back to the club as naturally as possible.
Dr. Hong is seemingly nowhere in sight as expected. You figure it would be hard to return with a raging boner despite the low lighting and he probably left through the back exit to likely jerk off in his ridiculously expensive car. The visual of white ropes of cum streaming past the steel band of the Royal Oak around his wrist haunts your mind, making your aching core buzz to life again and your sticky panties even grosser.
Out of pure spite, you hope he stains his shirt too. 
Luckily, Seungkwan is still at the bar when you wobble over in search of him. He shouts your name in mock shock, assessing your appearance with pursed lips and eyeballing your figure dubiously. 
"You look like hell."
"Yeah?" you laugh it off as nonchalantly as possible, unaware of the phone in your back pocket lighting up with a returned text message from a newly saved number and a scandalous picture attached. "I just got back."
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onlyseokmins: July 2023 ©
784 notes · View notes
rubyreduji · 10 months
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(🎤) — most popular , (🎸) — personal favorite
other masterlists
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CHOI SEUNGCHEOL
★ professor!seungcheol 🎤
➥ series, smut ➥ a smut series featuring biology professor choi seungcheol and his favorite failing student, you
★ the art of learning how to knock
➥ 4.4k, smut, male reader ➥ seungcheol really should learn how to knock
★ sweetest thing
➥ 1.7k, smut ➥ your boyfriend just wants to help you celebrate your job promotion in the best way he can think of
★ us and the stars
➥ 2.3k, smut, fluff ➥ sitting under the stars on the hood of seungcheol’s car puts a lot of things into perspective
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YOON JEONGHAN
★ good to me
➥ 2.1k, smut, sub!jeonghan ➥ sometimes jeonghan just needs you to take care of him
★ fighting for your love
➥ 5.5k, smut, ft. jeonghan ➥ when you couldn’t pick who to date between joshua and jeonghan, you weren’t expecting to result in a fight, literally
★ the christmas boyfriend
➥ 12.7k, fluff, smut ➥ when you tell your mom the little white lie that you have a boyfriend, you don’t expect it to evolve into bringing your friend with benefits home for christmas. what can go wrong?
aftercare king jeonghan x svt play thing reader (smut) 🎤
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JOSHUA HONG
★ baby please come home
➥ 2.9k, fluff ➥ they’re singing deck the halls, but it’s not like christmas at all
★ fighting for your love
➥ 5.5k, smut, ft. jeonghan ➥ when you couldn’t pick who to date between joshua and jeonghan, you weren’t expecting to result in a fight, literally
★ hello kitty, you're so pretty
1.7k, smut, cat hybrid!reader ➥ joshua bring home something new for you two to try together
best friend josh x reader (smut)
pool boy josh x milf reader (smut)
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WEN JUNHUI
★ charcoal stained hands
➥ 3.1k, fluff ➥ jun falls in love on a tuesday afternoon in an art studio
★ anatomy lesson
➥ 1.5k, smut ➥ you help jun learn female anatomy
valentine’s day present (smut)
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KWON SOONYOUNG
★ in front of chan and everybody 🎤
➥ 2.4k, smut ➥ when you and you boyfriend started having sex, you didn’t expect him to be so shameless about it. it doesn’t seem like his roommates are too shameful either.
★ my best friend's mother (is the one for me)
➥ 4.2k, smut, milf!reader ➥ jihoon’s mom has got it going on
★ pretty girl
➥ 2.6k, smut, cubby!reader ➥ soonyoung just likes to appreciate how beautiful his girlfriend 
★ boyfriends
➥ 5.6k, fluff, ft. jihoon ➥ you ask your producer out. too bad he already has a boyfriend, or is it?
★ feels so good 🎸
➥ 3.6k, smut, trans male reader ➥ you and soonyoung wake up, and have sex. that simple really.
★ birthday presents for a tiger 🎸
➥ 3.1k, smut ➥ it’s your neighbor’s birthday, you decide to give him a gift
soonyoung somnophilia drabble (smut)
rainy day thoughts (fluff)
fanboy hoshi (fluff) 🎸
giving soonyoung head (smut)
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JEON WONWOO
★ the story of us
➥ 3.6k, angst w/ a happy ending ➥ now i’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking…
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➥ 1.7k, fluff, ft. mingyu ➥ your two coworkers get a bit too involved in becoming your “work husband”
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➥ 5.0k, smut ➥ wonwoo can’t stop thinking about how he wants to ruin his roommate, the peephole in his wall isn’t helping tamper those desires either
perv wonwoo x roommate reader (smut) 🎤
perv wonwoo x roommate reader pt 2 (smut)
perv wonwoo x roommate reader pt 3 (smut)
getting a tattoo of another member's initials (reaction, suggestive)
399 notes · View notes
sevngmin148 · 1 year
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After a long day || hjs
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pairing: joshua hong x female reader
genre: smut
warnings: unprotected sex, petnames (princess, babygirl), creampie, oral (male receiving), choking, fingering
summary: joshua has a rough day at practice and channels his frustration into fucking you
word count: 1.1k
author’s note: in celebration of me pulling joshua in my FML album, I decided to write this<3 i did not proof read, so apologies for any mistakes
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When you heard the front door open and close with a slam, you knew that your boyfriend had come home in a bad mood. You pushed away your textbook and stretched as you moved to your feet, peaking out of the bedroom. Joshua looked exhausted. A frown made its way onto your face as you walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he kissed your forehead before burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Rough day?” You asked, to which he nodded with a soft sigh. His hands rested on your hips as he pulled you closer, kissing your shoulder. “Kept messing up during practice. There’s a move I just can’t seem to get down no matter how many times i try it.”
With a small nod, you pulled back slightly and cupped his cheeks. “You’ll get it. You always do.” He just frowned in response. “I don’t wanna think about practice anymore right now. Just need you.” He kissed you firmly, tightening his grip on your hips while guiding you towards the bedroom. Whenever he had a particularly difficult day, he’d channel his frustration into fucking you. Knowing what was to come, you could already feel your arousal growing. He quickly stripped off your clothes as the two of you entered the bedroom, pushing you onto your knees once you were fully naked. You gazed up at him, biting your lower lip gently and clenching your thighs together as he tugged off his shirt before unbuttoning his pants. “Hands behind your back. If you move them, I’ll spank you.” He warned. Although you occasionally enjoyed being spanked, you figured this would be a good time to behave yourself. He obviously wasn’t in the mood for you to misbehave.
Joshua pushed down his pants, along with his boxers, and entangled his fingers in your hair. His other hand moved to his cock, wrapping his fingers around it and stroking slowly before guiding the tip to your mouth. “Be a good girl for me, hm?” You nodded, parting your lips. He pressed the tip against your tongue before pushing in a bit further, tightening his grip on your hair as he slowly thrusted his hips. His eyes fluttered shut and features relaxes as he guided you to take more of his length, bobbing your head slowly. You flattened your tongue against the base of him, eliciting a soft moan of approval as you watched him. Each thrust pushed further down your throat until you were nearly gagging on him. “You always take me so well, princess. My good girl.” He praised, beginning to speed up. It wasn’t long before he was thrusting into your mouth fully, making your eyes water as you tried to control your breathing through your nose. He pushed the entirety of his length into your mouth, holding you down for a moment as he groaned before finally releasing and pulling you off of him, dragging you to your feet while you gasped for air.
Throwing you onto the bed, he followed and settled between your legs, pressing a firm kiss to your lips. “Can’t wait to have your pretty pussy around me.” He mumbles against your lips as his hand moved between your thighs, pressing his middle finger against your clit. “Please, Shua. Need you to touch me.” You whined bucking your hips. He kissed along your shoulder, rubbing your clit slowly. “Be patient, princess. You know I always give you what you want.” He trailed his fingers along your soaked folds before pressing two against your entrance, pushing them into you. Your eyes flutter shut as a soft moan escaped, grasping onto his shoulders to pull him closer. He thrusted his fingers into you while continuing to press firm kisses along your skin, nipping at it occasionally. “You’re always so wet for me. Always desperate for me to touch you. I’m the only one that can make you feel this good, aren’t I?” He looked up at you for your response, chuckling as you nodded breathlessly, too focused on his touch to reply properly. He pressed his thumb against your clit, pressing firmly as you clenches around his digits and arched your back. “Please, I’m gonna cum.” You gasped, too desperate to feel embarrassed about how quickly he was able to get you worked up. He fucked his fingers into you faster as he took your nipple into his mouth, sucking on it firmly. You cried out in pleasure as you came around his fingers, throwing your head back and digging your nails into his shoulders as he pinned you down, working you through your orgasm.
“Good girl.” Joshua cooed, slowing his fingers as you panted heavily and opened your eyes, gazing up at him. He pressed a kiss to your lips before flipping you onto your front, pulling your hips up. He teases your folds with the tip of his cock before thrusting into you, knocking the air out of your lungs. You didn’t have time to recover as he began thrusting at a rapid pace, holding onto your hips with a bruisingly tight grasp. You couldn’t hold in your moans even if you wanted to as he set a punishing pace, pulling your hips against his with each hard thrust. Grasping onto the sheets as you buried your face into the pillow, your moans and cries grew louder with each thrust, thighs trembling from the intensity. Joshua moves a hand to your throat, grasping onto it as he pulled your body up and pressed your back flush against his chest. “You love it when I fuck you like this, don’t you?” He practically growled into your ear, knowing you couldn’t respond. His free hand slid between your legs, rubbing rough circles against your clit. Your back arches further as you came suddenly, grasping onto his arm and digging your nails into his skin as you sobbed from the overwhelming pleasure, your body trembling. It only took a few more thrusts for him to release, breathing hard against your shoulder and holding onto you firmly. The two of you collapsed into the mattress as you both caught your breath, Joshua kissing every inch of skin he could reach from his position. He untangled himself from you and helped you roll onto your back, pushing your hair out of your face and pecking your lips.
“I love you. So much.” He sighed contently, gazing at you as if you were the one that put the stars in the sky. “I love you more than anything.” You replied with a small smile, cupping his cheeks. “I think we should take a shower. You kinda stink.” You teased, getting a soft chuckle from him as he nodded in agreement. “Let’s go for round two?”
1K notes · View notes
cherrycheolcoups · 1 year
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seventeen fic recs - vampire au [hyung line]
started: 05/15/23
updated: ---
doing these by aus first lol. link to my overall fic recs masterlist here: unavailable for now. working on posting the masterlist
BY MEMBER:
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choi seungcheol:
me and my husband by @berriesandjunnie
pairing: vampire!seungcheol x afab!reader | synopsis: even after marriage, your husband has peculiar habits that catch you off guard | genre & tags: fluff, vampire!seungcheol, human!reader, established relationship, just some funny soft vampire x human, short fluff!!, some blood mentions | word count: 1.2k
vampire boyfriend by @serenityseventeen
pairing: vampire!seungcheol x human!reader | warnings: just typical vampire related things like blood etc. | in form of a bulleted list with pros and cons at the end
indulgence by @sluttywonwoo
pairing: vampire!seungcheol x human!reader | summary: dating a vampire gets...complicated when you're on your period | warnings: swearing, menstruation, blood, smut 18+, fingering, shower sex, unprotected sex, period sex, blood drinking BUT NOT THAT BLOOD | word count: 4k | honestly my fav vampire!cheol fic HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!
take a bite by @junkissed
pairing: vampire!seungcheol x human!reader (she/her pronouns) | genre: fluff, mild angst, hurt/comfort, humor | word count ~1,500 | warnings: mentions of blood (reader's), sulky pouty cheol but he turns into softie happy cheol, an ounce of angst, an annoying little kid (/j he's cute), the kid thinks reader is cheol's wife and uses she/her pronouns
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yoon jeonghan:
3:57 am by @gguksgalaxy
pairing: hunter!jeonghan x vampire!reader | word count: 1k | warnings: suggestive, vampires (so blood), swearing
no rest for the wicked by @berriesandjunnie
pairing: vampire!jeonghan x human!reader | synopsis: witnessing something you wasn't supposed to leaves you with an unusual stalker | genre & tags: fluff, vampire!jeonghan, human!reader, a little yandere vibes not gonna lie, fortunate turn of events, blood mentions, murder mention
burning by @kofic
pairing: vampire!jeonghan x artist!reader | genre: romance, angst, smut, elements of mystery, art au, artist reader, art collector-dealer vamp!jeonghan | warnings: 18+ mature themes, explicit language, cursing, mentions of blood (if not comfortable do not engage), mutual pining, mentions of self harm, convo about mental health insecurities, smut, fingering, oral f!receiving, hair pulling (both equally), pussy spanking (two times), edging!, unprotected, cumshot, jeonghan controls the pace, blood licking/sucking, anyway, as i said this work deals with a darker theme and so i promise to do my best in using soothing language too, though blood! u've been warned, i don't wish to go & say this possess elements of horror just bc im not entirely sure if it does | word count: 18k; slowburn
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hong jisoo:
svt joshua: 82 by @craby-bouquet
pairing: vampire!joshua x human!reader | genre: fluff, vampire au | word count: 1k | summary: 82 "so you're telling me that you've never had a romcom moment? well i'm going to make that my personal mission to make sure you're going to have at least one tonight"
[ngl couldn't really find more, sorry!]
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wen junhui:
vampire kisses by @horanghaejamjam
pairing: vampire lord!junhui x human!female reader | summary: he is the head of the wen family, the highest ranking family of vampires in the country. you are a mere human sold to them for the purpose of being his mate and bride. jun is determined to win your heart before you wed, and perhaps a few playful kisses are the key to doing that. | rating: m 18+ | genre: vampire au, slight rivals to lovers, smut, fluff | word count: 16.3k | warnings/contents: smut, blood and blood drinking, biting, jun being super flirty and teasing, arranged marriage, virgin!reader, unprotected sex, body worship, oral (male receiving), praise, soft bondage (jun ties/blindfolds reader with silk), fingering, talks about impregnation. mostly just very fluffy and soft with jun being whipped for reader
the first circle of hell by @lovelyhan
pairing: vampire!jun x stylist!reader | summary: the first time you catch a glimpse of jun, you feel like you've seen him somewhere before. a magazine cover, a billboard, or a music show you watched in passing. jun, on the other hand, seems to know you a lot better than you know yourself. | word count: 6.3k | tags: vampire!jun, stylist!reader, reincarnation, angst, smut | warnings: graphic depictions of sex, minors dni
bite me by @berriesandjunnie
pairing: vampire!junhui x afab!reader | synopsis: you're not sure how vampires work in real life but you can't risk leaving him behind. | genre & tags: fluff, slight angst, vampire!junhui, human!reader, mentions of dying, slightly suggestive scene (at least hints to one; minors you're safe), vampire consent, blood is mentioned 600 fricking times /j | word count: 2.0k
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kwon soonyoung:
N/A
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jeon wonwoo:
infinity by @blue-jisungs
pairing: vampire!wonwoo x human!reader | summary: by a rather unpleasant string of events you find out who...or what your boyfriend really is | warnings: swearing, blood, violence but nothing extreme, a pinch of angst if u will | au: vampire!wonwoo | word count: 4.7k
just a sip by @jejuboo-s
pairing: vampire!wonwoo x female reader | word count: 1.4k | genre: complete smut, nothing much else | summary: while shaving your legs up to your thighs in the shower, you accidentally wound yourself, blood spilling out of the small cut. in a hurry, you contemplate on going outside and asking wonwoo to help. but you really couldn't. why? because your boyfriend was a vampire
bloodlove: one more taste by @multi-kpop-fanfics
pairing: vampire boyfriend!wonwoo x human girlfriend!reader | genre: fluff, smut, minor comedy | warnings: period sex, oral sex (fem rec), consent bcs it's sexy, blood consumption, wonwoo goes into subspace, mentions of death (nobody dies, it's said as a joke), mentions of food, medication and period cramps - do not read if uncomfortable with such themes | word count: 2.7k | summary: for most people, there's nothing tastier than pizza - for wonwoo, it's you (and your pussy)
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lee jihoon:
N/A
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sisterofsomeone · 2 months
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SisterofSomeone's Masterlist!
Hiya! I'm SisterofSomeone, otherwise known as Caitlin. I'm 23 and am slowly coming back to into the world of fanfiction writing. So here is my very barebones masterlist, and some little insights into some fics I have planned, enjoy! If you would like to be added to my tag list just send me a message or comment on here, I’d be more than happy to add you 🥹💜
Just as a little warning, I won't write: full non-con (cnc and dub-con are allowed), minors, excessive gore, full incest (e.g. brother x sister, but step brother x step sister is cool with me), pregnancy scares/unplanned pregnancy, more may be added as I think of them and I always hold the right to not answer/write for whatever reason I want :)
Seventeen
Choi Seungcheol
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WIP: Seeing You After All This Time - Summary: Seungcheol, that gummy smiled, annoying boy you grew up with would always have your heart. Even if it seemed like he didn’t want it anymore.  Warnings: idol!Seungcheol x idol!fem!reader, lovers to exes to lovers, angst, fluff, mentions of depression/insomnia, mentions of self-harm/self-harming behaviour, references to disordered eating, bodyweight comments (but no actual numbers), swearing, established relationship, (more will be added as the series goes on!)
Yoon Jeonghan
WIP: In the Blind Spot - Summary: You’re Seungcheol’s little sister. Innocent and sweet. He’s always said you’re completely off limits to all the boys. You’re 2 years younger than Chan for fucks sake, way too young for any of the rabble. But unbeknownst to him, you’re being hounded by some of his best friends. Just can’t let big brother find out you’re not exactly opposed to spending some ‘one on one’ time with them. Got to get the deed done in his blind spot. Warnings: idol!Chan x fem!reader, idol!Seokmin x fem!reader, idol!Jeonghan x fem!reader, idol!Mingyu x fem!reader, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,
Hong Joshua
WIP: The Three Musketeers - Summary: When the boys are on tour they like to wind down with some good food, good drinks, good music, and good company. So when you’re batting your eyelashes at them in the hotel bar, they know they’re in for a good evening. Warnings: idol!joshua x fem!reader x idol!Seokmin x idol!Jihoon, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names, foursome
Wen Junhui
nothing here yet sadly :(
Kwon Soonyoung
nothing here yet sadly :(
Jeon Wonwoo
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Until Death Do Us Part - Summary: On a wedding day in Baldur’s Gate, a marriage is sealed with a sanctified bond. A powerful magic that allows your minds to meld and cannot ever be undone. It is also required to share your darkest secret for the bond to be bestowed. There is a common myth passed around that once, a very long time ago, a woman was tricked into marriage by a demon of sorts and only found out when they wed. Every wedding at that moment the room falls silent, waiting for another scream, another myth making secret to be revealed. You just never thought you would be witness to it. Series Warnings: Wonwoo x fem!reader, slight Seokmin x fem!reader (because I can't help myself), established relationship/situationship, angst, fluff, swearing, drinking, smoking, there are references to end game BG3 and spoilers for the whole game so please proceed with caution! smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl, princess), oral sex (male and female receiving), breeding kink, slight daddy kink, size kink, reader has a vagina that gets described as a pussy/cunt, slight dub-con for a second then clear consent, (more will be added as the series goes on!)
Lee Jihoon
WIP: The Three Musketeers - Summary: When the boys are on tour they like to wind down with some good food, good drinks, good music, and good company. So when you’re batting your eyelashes at them in the hotel bar, they know they’re in for a good evening. Warnings: idol!joshua x fem!reader x idol!Seokmin x idol!Jihoon, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names, foursome
Lee Seokmin
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Self Destruction - Summary: Lee Seokmin. No words could describe your love for him, how your heart raced when he was near. But you two were growing apart, his eyes and hands wandering away from yours. Now you harboured a growing hatred for the man you once loved so dearly, and as much as you wanted it to stop growing, he just kept adding fuel to the fire. Warnings: toxic!Seokmin x toxic!fem!reader, slight Wonwoo x reader, established relationship, lovers to enemies to ???, ANGST!!!, swearing, cheating, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl), oral sex (male receiving)
WIP: Friendzoned - Summary: Warnings:
WIP: The Three Musketeers - Summary: When the boys are on tour they like to wind down with some good food, good drinks, good music, and good company. So when you’re batting your eyelashes at them in the hotel bar, they know they’re in for a good evening. Warnings: idol!joshua x fem!reader x idol!Seokmin x idol!Jihoon, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names, foursome
WIP: In the Blind Spot - Summary: You’re Seungcheol’s little sister. Innocent and sweet. He’s always said you’re completely off limits to all the boys. You’re 2 years younger than Chan for fucks sake, way too young for any of the rabble. But unbeknownst to him, you’re being hounded by some of his best friends. Just can’t let big brother find out you’re not exactly opposed to spending some ‘one on one’ time with them. Got to get the deed done in his blind spot. Warnings: idol!Chan x fem!reader, idol!Seokmin x fem!reader, idol!Jeonghan x fem!reader, idol!Mingyu x fem!reader, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,
Kim Mingyu
WIP: In the Blind Spot - Summary: You’re Seungcheol’s little sister. Innocent and sweet. He’s always said you’re completely off limits to all the boys. You’re 2 years younger than Chan for fucks sake, way too young for any of the rabble. But unbeknownst to him, you’re being hounded by some of his best friends. Just can’t let big brother find out you’re not exactly opposed to spending some ‘one on one’ time with them. Got to get the deed done in his blind spot. Warnings: idol!Chan x fem!reader, idol!Seokmin x fem!reader, idol!Jeonghan x fem!reader, idol!Mingyu x fem!reader, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,
Xu Minghao
nothing here yet sadly :(
Boo Seungkwan
nothing here yet sadly :(
Chwe Vernon
WIP: Secret Player Two - Summary: You’re enjoying a solo, quiet night in while your boyfriend is away at Milan fashion week by playing your new favourite video game when there's a knock at the door. When you invite Vernon in to chill with you, you never imagined the effect a video game sex scene might have on your, well, frustrated new player two. Warnings: idol!Vernon x idol!fem!reader, swearing, cheating, smut MDNI 18+,
Lee Chan
WIP: In the Blind Spot - Summary: You’re Seungcheol’s little sister. Innocent and sweet. He’s always said you’re completely off limits to all the boys. You’re 2 years younger than Chan for fucks sake, way too young for any of the rabble. But unbeknownst to him, you’re being hounded by some of his best friends. Just can’t let big brother find out you’re not exactly opposed to spending some ‘one on one’ time with them. Got to get the deed done in his blind spot. Warnings: idol!Chan x fem!reader, idol!Seokmin x fem!reader, idol!Jeonghan x fem!reader, idol!Mingyu x fem!reader, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,
WIP: Friendzoned - Summary: Warnings:
WIP: Little Miss Virgin- Summary: Your best friends Seungkwan and Jeonghan have always taken a weird pleasure in picking on you in front of the other members and watching you blush and panic. But one boozy night at Mingyu and Wonwoo's flat they push you a little too far and tell everyone your most embarrassing secret - you've never been kissed, never been wanted like that. The guys assure you that it's nothing to be ashamed of, "you'll find someone". But across the room a fire lights in Chan's stomach, and he needs to be your first. Warnings: idol!Dino x fem!reader, corruption kink, size kink, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,
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dreamerwasntfound · 10 months
Text
Kpop Writers and Fic Recs
List of Kpop Fanfic writers I follow and the fic I found them with (if there is one)!!
Warning: Very Long List :)
✎ ♡ ➤ 🗨
━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━
With Specific Post
✎ @remedyx > Boyfriend for Hire (Series) ♡ BTS OT7 x Reader # N/A ➤ n/a 🗨 Unsatisfied with your life was an understatement. Being under the thumb of your father can have that effect. He wanted someone capable of running the company, but you wanted to pursue your passion. Countless unwanted blind dates and the threat of losing your freedom drives you to seek help from a group of individuals you’d least expected.
✎ @bebejungkook > Gym Bunny (Series) ♡ Jungkook x Reader # N/A ➤ Toxic friends, reader learns to love herself, cuss words, accidental boners, some mean comments about reader from her friends and Kooks bestie who hates YN. 🗨 After being tired of feeling insecure you decided to take your friends advice and hit the gym. The only problem is you don’t know what to do, but luckily the very muscular and scary guy next to you offered to teach you a couple things. He just also happens to be the sweetest man you’ve ever met and not scary at all. You catch yourself falling in love with him on your journey of self love, but old insecurities stop you from doing anything about it.
✎@your-daily-biaswrecking > You sit on his lap in the car and he cums in his pants + but, check out their m.list ♡ Kim Namjoon x Reader # Drabble ➤ n/a 🗨 Like the title says ;)
✎ @m-yg93 > Solace ♡ Kim Namjoon x Reader # 13.5k ➤ Brief blood mention from a cut, mention of minor character death (sickness), fingering, hand job, big dick joon, belly bulge, unprotected sex, mentions of choking, creampie, dirty talk, inconsistent POV 🗨 Namjoon thought getting used to a new roommate would take time and adaptation but you fit yourself into his apartment with ease. He swears he only landed in your bed to keep you safe in his arms when you get spooked by the storm. Surely he can blame the eventual lack of clothing on the summer’s heat stroke.
✎ @joonsytip > Anonymously Yours ♡ Hong Joshua x Fem!Reader # 18.6k ➤ Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au. 🗨 After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life.
✎ @peekaboongi > Snake Kisses (& Defense Against the Dark Farts) ♡ Yoongi x Reader # 8.5k (& 2.2k+) ➤ Licking kink? masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism (kinda?), slight? biting kink, dom!yoongi, sort of aphrodisiac? idk his spit makes you kinda sorta sensitive does that count as a spit kink? fingering, oral (female receiving), orgasm denial, degradation, name calling, spanking, pet names (he calls her princess), cumplay,  unprotected sex, humiliation, handjobs, choking, creampie, like mild cum inflation? overstimulation. oh dear god this is more than I thought it was. (& dom yoongi but also soft yoongi, one tiny possible spoiler for the very last harry potter movie, sad danger noodle yoongle, oral (male), handjobs, yoongi has two dicks, one (1) spank, yoongi spits on her hand, unprotected sex, degradation, name calling, pet names (he calls he princess), tiny bit of begging not really, i think that’s it) 🗨 You are grossly unprepared for the snake hybrid that enters your life. Yoongi is quiet and sneaks around you but eventually, even the cold reptile warms up to you. (& While trying to get Yoongi to take the full Pottermore sorting quiz, you discover something that he’s self-conscious about. Lucky for him, you love every part of him, snake bits and everything. ↳ defensive snake farts are a thing, apparently)
✎ @whatifyoulivelikethat > (seven) days a week ♡ jungkook x reader # N/A ➤ rated M (18+) for language (reader swears a lot); strangers-to-lovers; vague allusions to a loveless childhood and bad parenting (no specifics); JK might be insane and you do tell him that he is; slight crack; fluff; smut (fem reader, fucking with clothes on and off, m and f-receiving oral, light hair pulling, fingering, nipple play, choking, penetrative sex, handjob); non-idol!BTS – persistent!Jungkook x noona, def tsundere!reader lol ft instigator-cupid!Park Jimin setting them up 🗨 It only takes seven days (a week) for Jeon Jungkook to get you in his bed to fuck you right. And showing up in weird places. And kissing in the rain. He’s crazy. Okay, it’s kinda complicated.
✎ @httpjeon > lovebug ♡ jimin/reader # 12k ➤ spider hybrid!jimin, hybrid mistreatment/bullying, love self esteem/self-worth, arguments, crying, physical altercation between jimin & reader, name-calling, attachment anxiety, possessiveness, kissing, scenting, dom!jimin, manhandling, size kink/difference, fingering, dirty talk, cunnilingus, sensitivity kink, wet & messy, lots of cum, cumflation, jimins duality 🗨 hybrids are lovable companions for humans. unfortunately, most people simply want a cat or dog with which they can cuddle and love on. while looking for one to adopt, a lonesome hybrid of an unusual breed catches your eye.
✎ @solemnreads > Way Back Home (Series) ♡ jungkook x reader # N/A ➤ parents au, single parent, coparenting, chaebol, ceo jungkook, assistant reader, jeon twins, one of the babies has a weak heart, smut 🗨 "please tell me this isn't what i think it is" he asks you with tears in his eyes. you look down at the sight of your son with an oxygen mask on his face while your daughter is sleeping on the couch near the wall. you look into his eyes, broken and sad. you've dreamt of this day for years, wondering how he would react. but here you are, hoping he could've meet the twins under different circumstances. "yes...they're your children."
✎ @dovechim > the singularity theory (m) (Series) ♡ yoongi x reader # N/A ➤ posted on each chapter 🗨 in your last year of undergrad, you find out what a gloryhole is at the expense of your final year thesis. it’s a classic example of a psychology experiment that went way, way wrong. but how were you to know that a certain min yoongi would be sticking his dick into your life?
✎ @jeonstudios > drown for you (Series) ♡ siren!jk x f reader # N/A ➤ posted on each chapter 🗨 there was something in that enormous tank, hidden in the murky water. all you knew was that you weren’t allowed inside the room and that it used to hold something dangerous.
✎ @barbika1508 > Lacuna (Series) + M.List ♡ Hybrid!Jeongguk x reader # N/A ➤ posted on each chapter 🗨 posted on each chapter
✎ @btssmutgalore > Nude (Series) ♡ Taehyung x reader # N/A ➤ smut 🗨 You accidentally send a nude to Taehyung, a fuckboy you definitely shouldn't have been thinking about, despite already kissing him. The fact that he's your roommate's best friend doesn't help your situation at all.
✎ @joonberriess > Jock!JK (Series) + M.List ♡ jock!jungkook x reader # N/A ➤ posted on each chapter
✎ @dreamescapeswriting > BTS Reactions + M.List
✎ @taesbetch > To Own A Hybrid (Series) + M.List ♡ Jungkook x Reader # N/A ➤ posted on each chapter 🗨 the hybrid world was one y/n never really involved herself in; however, after certain events, she is tossed into a world of uncertainty in the company of a particularly rude hybrid. 
✎ @gothvkth > sensitive ♡ Jeon Jeongguk x GN!Reader # 2k+ ➤ self conscious jk, sensitive jk, nipple play, pussy pocket, vibrator, dirty talk, whiny jk, orgasm denial, sub jk, dom reader, pre-discussed kinks and wtv, safe sane and consensual, jk hugs a pillow to his chest like a cutie, a hint of dacryphilia, jk cries but he loves it. 🗨 you two have been friends since the beginning of time. after finally getting together, you guys had a miscommunication problem regarding your sex life in concern that jeongguk didn't want you but truth is, he's just a sensitive boy, too sensitive.
✎ @taleasnewastime > Purr-haps I like you ♡ Yoongi x Reader # 11.6k ➤ An abandoned cat; the cat gets ill at one point. 🗨 You have a no pets policy where you live, but when you find a tiny kitten in a box on the side of the road, what can you do but bring it home with you? The only problem? The landlord who made the no pets rule, also happens to be your flatmate.
✎ @kookslastbutton > Too Late to Dream (Series) ♡ professor!jungkook x fem!artist!Reader # 16.5k (TBA) ➤ 8-year age gap, professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), lots of family drama, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues, therapy, sexual content + more specific warnings per chapter 🗨 You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.
✎ @stylesluxx > Eight Years (Series) ♡ poly!ceo!bts x reader # N/A ➤ angst (and more, posted on each part) 🗨 in which they fall out of love
✎ @jcwriting > There's A First Time For Everything ♡ idol!namjoon x reader # 2.8k ➤ swearing, oral (m receiving), face fucking, choking, reader has a painful thigh kink (don’t we all), overuse of the word thigh 🗨 namjoon has never had a blowjob before. you’re about to change that.
✎ @minnochu > Lustrous (Series) ♡ Hybrid!Kook x Reader
✎ @appreciatethefoolishness > Bunny Trouble (Series) ♡ jeongguk x reader
✎ @numinousher > Combined Beings (Series) + M.List ♡ mafia/ceo!bts x chubby!reader # N/A ➤ cursing, a bit of mature content ( English isn’t my first language so just to warn you all 😭),  deep conversations based on beauty standards, body dysmorphia, mental health issues, harassment/bullying, gore/violence 🗨 You are bullied on a constant because korea’s beauty standards do not fit girls on the heavier side. The bullying gets worse once a ceo is attracted to you and he mentions you to the other 6.
✎ @secretbangtnn > Until I bleed out (Series) ♡ poly!BTS x hybrid!reader # N/A ➤ mentions of sexual assault and sex trafficing, violence, mentions of homelessness, mental problems, panic attacks, reader is scared of everything, bts just wants to help, smut later, mentions of abo, to be added… 🗨 Hybrids always were discriminated against, the laws passing over years changed nothing, collars still needed to be seen on those innocent necks like some kind of label. Cruelty was something the hybrids faced on daily basis, sex trafficing or illegal fighting it still felt as if those humans treated everything like pets. Situation you however found yourself in, was kind of different - not worse not better but still so bad you did not know if the next day would be yours, and when the winter started coming with big steps it was only a matter of time when the freezing cold would eat you alive. Unless one silent night a little too loud striped tiger decides to break your calm nap with a clumsy package of long limbs after him who just could not leave your tired and scared self alone…
✎ @20moonchild21 > Sehncucht - Discontinued? ♡ Hybrid!BTS x human!female!oc # N/A ➤ fluff, angst, humor, smut (later), mentioning of sexual assaultment, abuse, violence, friendship, love, dark themes 🗨 Hope is your average New York college girl, who is only one step away from reaching her big dream and becoming a lawyer for Hybrid rights. Never would she have thought, that one night, where she heard a whimpering coming from a dark alley, could turn her whole word upside down.
✎ @strlstlvr > skz finding your old fan tweet for them (hyung line linked, also maknae line version available) ♡ skz x reader # N/A ➤ smau, crack, a wee bit suggestive in changbins🫣 🗨 of course you were always their biggest fan, too bad they took a deep dive and found out how obsessed you actually were
✎ @alternateafterthought > Golden Time (Series) + M.List ♡ hybrid!jungkook x reader # 30k+ ➤ posted on each chapter 🗨 Y/N has been rescuing and recovering hybrids her entire life. Now she has inherited her grandparent’s hybrid sanctuary. It was a normal rescue, get the hybrid, recover him and give him a choice, stay on the sanctuary or find a life for himself. Why was this one so different?
✎ @idkcantthinkofaname > It takes time (Series) ♡ bts x reader # N/A ➤ posted on each chapter 🗨 after finally getting the house y/n always wanted, she find a hybrid hiding in an old shed. Unlike most people who find strays, y/n doesn’t turn him into h.c mainly because there was a lot of shady things that happened with the hybrid control in the area.
✎ @jiminrings > 4-7-8 (Series) ♡ jungkook x reader # N/A ➤ semi-heavy angst (pls take a break when necessary!!), emotional constipation, no cheating happens here btw (neither physical nor emotional), self-loathing, miscommunication, based on the moral dilemma of whether or not it's okay to be friends with ur ex, intense yearning + specified tags in each installment! 🗨 you're secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren't so secure about is his first love - someone who isn't you. alternatively, jungkook's married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
✎ @ya9amicide > Redamancy (Series) ♡ ot7 x ot7, ot7 x oc # N/A ➤ posted on each chapter 🗨 Hybrids were accepted in society to a certain degree. To some, they are for entertainment. Used as sex and money tools. To lock up and abuse whenever and however they please. Something to have control over. To others, they are companions. Just like regular animals are used for therapy or simply companionship, hybrids are too. To the rest, they are just like everyone else. Someone with their own life who deserves the same freedoms as your everyday John or Jane Doe. Wren is one of these people. She hates the idea of owning a hybrid. She has nothing against those who own them for medical or companionship reasons. Just the rest. But, when a ragtag pack of seven mismatched hybrids somehow ends up in the woods behind her home, she takes them in and does the one thing she never thought she would do. Own them. But, she also does something she didn't even think was possible. She fell in love with each and every one of them.
✎ @sue-bts > Teething ♡ Bunny!Jungkook x Reader # N/A ➤ much smut very sin wow, biting, pet/owner (he is of age, hybrid stuff makes the developmental process- i.e. teething- a bit slowed but he’s 19) 🗨 (Requested) Can you do one where hybrid Jungkook is going through his heat and he just needs dom!y/n so bad, but she just loves to see him beg and practically dry hump her leg. Can you add dirty talk in there too. I don’t care what he’s mixed with.
✎ @eternal-mikrokosmos > Stubborn Hugs (Series) ♡ Hybrid Namjoon x Reader, occasional ot7 x reader, ot7 x ot7 # N/A ➤ posted in each chapter 🗨 After helping out a koala and bunny hybrid, your bring them home with your other hybrids to adjust. But a certain koala doesn’t seem tho get the concept of being cared for without a catch. Having your own set of secrets, it already proves difficult to gain their trust and getting them to stay with you at the same time. Your hybrids already know everything about you and are willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to keep you safe.
✎ @arrianna21 > Hybrid!Taegi Masterlist + M.List ♡ cathybrid!yoongi/doghybrid!taehyung/reader # N/A ➤ posted in each chapter
✎ @gimmesumsuga > Pink Panther ♡ Jin x reader # 13k ➤ Graphic descriptions of sex, oral sex (female receiving), impregnation kink, unprotected sex, dirty talk 🗨 ‘The one where your boss, Kim Seokjin, tries to show you how beautiful you are’ - Hybrid!AU
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✎ @borathae > Masterlist
✎ @tasteleeknow > Masterlist
✎ @ffsarchive > Masterlist
✎ @guess-whos-now-a-mood > Pretty Moodboards
✎ @taetae-tea > Masterlist
✎ @yeontanismypresident > Masterlist
✎ @jinniesboy > Masterlist
✎ @baepsaets > Posts in General
✎ @secret-kpoplibrary > Masterlist
✎ @thereaderstea > Masterlist
✎ @jamaisjoons > Masterlist
✎ @ahundredtimesover > Masterlist(s)
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skyechild · 4 months
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𖤐 pairing: Idol!Seonghwa x Actress!reader (M/F) 𖤐 genre: smut ehehe 𖤐 warnings: language, alcohol consumption, miscommunication, rumors 𖤐 wc: 8.9k 𖤐trope/au/kinks: trope: (one sided) e2fwb 𖤐 summary:  You and Seonghwa have been friends since childhood, but one miscommunication caused a rift and between you. What happens when you both learn to communicate and you tell him your side? 𖤐 notes: surprise Sar im your secret santa for CODN' Secret Santa. (This banner sucks, and im sorry this took so long) 𖤐special tag: @kpop-stories-21 𖤐 tag list: @cultofdionysusnet / @kikouku / @spooo00oky / @yoonjonguwu 𖤐 Playlist: Crazy Form by Ateez, Getting Closer by Seventeen,
"Why are you always in the fucking way?" The voice comes from behind you and you already know who it is. Your body tenses and turn around in the dress. "Excuse me? Do you plan to walk into my dressing room?" Your glare at Seonghwa as he hums, looking the dress up and down, He has to admit it's a beautiful dress, and it looks beautiful on you.
It's a dress slightly modernized, and that hat is very cute. He is not one to bring anyone down. You are a successful actress for a reason and he isn't going to bring you down.
"Why are you even here Seonghwa?" It was almost hard to not call him Hwa. It had been a few years since you last saw each other. You had to admit, he had grown up very well. He was attractive, very attractive. He had debuted with a group you knew as Ateez, with one of your friends being the social butterfly Wooyoung, the boy being a year and a half younger than you.
He rolled his eyes, as if the (valid) question was stupid. "Im casted in this drama...what are YOU doing here?" You crossed your arms. "You better not be the lead male." His lips quirk into a smirk. "Oh my lovely little Y/n is going to be my partner?"
You felt the blood drain from your face in almost horror. This was a vampire themed tv movie. There were kisses, there was neck biting, a possible bed scene. Was your hatred enough to make you back out of this? These were only promotional photos.
You bit your lip and turned around, picking up the train of your dress and walking towards the director and photographer. Seonghwa grabbed your bicep and frowned. "You hate me that much that you would back out?" His brows furrowed, a thinly veiled look of hurt hidden by disappointment in his eyes.
"I'm not, I just want to shoot the photos. The faster we shoot, the faster I can leave...this." You motioned to him. The muscle in his jaw jumped and you raised a brow. "Did that offend you? I'm so sorry princess." You mocked, calling him the name Wooyoung called him privately.
You watched the muscles in his jaw tense. "My patience is running thin Y/n." He warned and you pulled your arm away, huffing. "Let's go. I don't want this to take all day." You continue your walk over.
"You look beautiful Miss L/n." You felt the pink spread over your cheeks. You were never good with compliments. "Thank you Director Hong." Director Hong was only a few years older than you, his assistant however, was two years younger. A pretty boy named Felix that looked like the stars made their home on his cheeks. But his voice was almost a whiplash. You smiled at the younger boy.
"Please, call me Josh." You chuckled, shaking your head. "Then you have to call me Y/n. We have had this conversation many times. We are friends, remember?" He rolls his eyes teasingly. You and Joshua had gone to college together with you only meeting him through a mutual friend, Minghao, Who was tired of you whining about the artist being one of your only friends.
"Shua." You called him the nickname you used in college. He grinned softly, nodding. "That's fine." He chuckled, motioning towards where the pictures would be taken. "Alright Y/n, these are just promotional photos." You nod but the energy kind of drains once Seonghwa is standing beside both men.
"It's a bit of a remake of Dracula, similar to Gary Oldman's dracula." You bite your lip and grin at Joshua. He knows about Your love for that movie, and the actor himself. He has to shake his head teasingly before you are put into positions by Felix, the flashes from the cameras almost making you blind and many photos and different positions Joshua motions for a break. "After break it's time for the duo photos."
A bit after and after an outfit change for you, one more towards the era you felt was nice did Joshua break the news. "Alright, these ones will probably be the main ones they post." You hold back your grimace and Seonghwa smirks. "A bit seductive." Joshua reiterates and you want to punch the grin off Seonghwas face as it grows wider.
"You heard him, seductive." You glare at him before you move into position. "Alright Felix, would you please position them?" Seonghwa stands behind you, one hand wrapping around your waist and one wrapped around your throat. Your mouth opens a bit as you tilt your head back and over, resting it on his shoulder as Felix explains. Your eyes close and you can barely feel Seonghwas breath against your neck, his mouth parted.
Felix steps off the set and to the side.
It's almost perfect. Joshua calls out. "Seonghwa can you get a bit closer to her neck, you're a bit too far away." He nods and pulls you more towards his chest, mouth getting closer to the skin of your neck. Photos are taken in that position, his eyes down and almost closed. "Look at the camera Seonghwa." He looks up, eyes dark and sharp as he stares at the camera.
You go through multiple photos with him and you are getting to the point you are starting to get squirmy. One of the last positions has you are fully in his arms, leaning against his left arm as his right hands tilts your head back till you are arched back, laying on the ground with your hand gripping Seonghwas shirt and the other holding his right hand when it moves to rest on your sternum.
The last one is your least favorite. Felix has you back to the position you started in but turned slightly towards Seonghwa. "Kiss." You hear both Felix and Joshua say at the same time and your body stiffens from reflex. Seonghwa nods and holds your cheek in one hand, putting a thumb between your lips so they dont touch fully. You thank him in your head quietly before you close your eyes, hands holding his thats around your waist. At Least he had some morals unlike some of your other coworkers.
You sighed once Joshua called finish and quickly shoved yourself away from Seonghwa. The slightly surprised look on his made you raise a brow. “Why do you look so surprised?” He blinked a few times before smirking. “Was surprised you let me almost kiss you.” Your eye twitched. “God, I can't stand you.”
“Then sit.”
“I fucking am.”
You bit back the urge to punch the guy in the face. If these were just the promotional pics, how were the rest of the shootings going to take place? You knew Joshua but Felix was pretty new to you. But he didn't seem very new to Seonghwa and that made your skin crawl. He was young and wasn't involved in what happened. But Joshua was just the photographer, maybe you could get him to come visit the recordings. Maybe you'll see if your manager can talk to Yoohyeon’s manager to see if she could stop by sometimes with Pie.
You walked off towards your dressing room and stripped out of the uncomfortable dress. You shivered as you slipped on your robe, the familiar knock sequence of your manager alerting you to her incoming, making a noise of acknowledgement as you watched the door swing open. “Alright little daisy.” Your manager had been with you since the beginning and you grinned softly at the sight of coffee and a donut in her hands. “Is that for me?” Your eyes glittered as you gave your manager the puppy eyes. When she shut the door she looked at you. “Did you play nice with Seonghwa?”
Your huffed, moving to sit down in the chair in front of a mirror to start removing your makeup. “The best I could with his shitty behavior.” She rolled her eyes.”Sujin please.” Your manager sighed. “Fine.” She watched you carefully as she cocked her head to the side, meeting your eyes. “You know that you won't be able to avoid him for long, you're in the same movie now. You need to tell him the truth.” She spoke as she placed her hands on your shoulders. “That's his fault for believing the rumors, Sujin! ‘N this was first year of high school. It's almost been ten years. It's easier to just return the attitude he gives me.”
You rubbed your eyes and sigh, the gentle squeeze on your shoulders told she understood. You do want to tell Seonghwa, but every time you looked at him the anger of him believing the rumors instead of coming to you always lit a fire inside you, leading your disappointment and anger towards him. If he came to learn the truth it would be like this between you both.
You lean back in your chair, resting your head on Sujin’s shoulder. “I'm so tired of fighting him but he never bothers to learn the truth.” You close your eyes and sigh. Sujin frowns down at you before she purses her lips. “Y/n.” You look up at her, seeing the look in your eyes and furrowing your brows. “I could talk to his manager? Or Hongjoong’ he seems to listen to him.” You sigh. “Wooyoung knows everything so i'm surprised he hasn't told him, i did ask him to not tell him. If Seonghwa ever wants to know the truth he can ask Wooyoung who will probably tell him to come to me.”
You smile as your manager takes down your hair from the updo the hair stylist had put you in. A breath left you as you closed your eyes, the small massage making you relax into her. “Fuck that was starting to give me a headache.” You confess and she chuckles, fingers sliding through your hair.
There's a knock on your door and you both turn to face it. “Who is it?” Sujin calls and you hear Joshua’s voice on the other side. “Just me, can I come in?” You stand up and move towards the door, opening it with a bright smile. “Hi Shua.” He gives you a tight hug, stroking your back for a moment. “Hello little one.” You forget how tall your best friend is sometimes, he's about a head and a half taller than you. 
Pulling him in your room you quickly shut the door, not noticing the eyes watching the door close, a frown on his lips before he is following, getting close enough to hear the conversation.
You lean against the wall, a giddy feeling in your chest. Joshua always gave you the butterflies in the tummy and a giddy feeling in your chest. He was the first crush you had other than Seonghwa. You rest your head on the wall when you turn to face him. “How can I help you?” You smile and Joshua chuckles, returning the grin. “You could help me if you come to lunch with me.” You feel a blush rise on your cheeks. You forgot how direct your friend could be. 
“..as a date?” He hummed softly. “Yes and no.” You crossed your arms and nodded. “When?” He pulls his phone out the same time you do, both checking schedules. “How about Thursday? We can go when everyone takes a break.” You nod. Thursday is full with filming of some of the movie.
Seonghwa crosses his arms from where he leans against the wall a bit down from your door. You're going on a date with Joshua? He glares at the door. Of course you would go out with him, he was perfect. He rolls his eyes and kicks one leg over the other, head down.
Standing straight you wrap your arms around Joshua’s waist and squeeze. He chuckles and hugs you tightly back, swaying a bit before he backs up, hand on the door. “I'll text you.” You nod and wave and he leaves the room. 
Seonghwa is gone before the door opens. 
Joshua walks down away from your room before turning down a hall, catching the younger male. “It isn't nice to eavesdrop on a private conversation.” Joshua spoke, startling Seonghwa. He tenses. “I wasn't.” Joshua huffed. “I saw you turn the corner.”
Seonghwa fights back the slight amount of shame he feels from being caught. “I was just wondering what you were doing with her…” Joshua raises a brow. “Why would you care? You hate her.” Seonghwa looks down, biting his lip. “I don't hate her….” He trails off and the elder crosses his arms. “You could fool me, probably her too. She's convinced you hate her. Believing the rumors and not coming to her.” Joshua starts, cutting the other off when he opens his mouth. 
“What kind of friend are you?” Joshua narrows his eyes. “She told me everything. What you said, what the rumor was. The truth.” He walks closer, keeping eye contact with Seonghwa. “Maybe stop being a bitch and ask her what really happened.” He looks at the younger for a moment longer before sighing. “She doesn't hate you. But what you said really hurt her.” He whispered. “Let her tell you the truth.” Joshua walks past him before he can reply and Seonghwa is left standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at the floor blankly. 
He clenches his fist. He should probably talk to you before the bed scene. He doesnt want that scene to be more awkward than it will be. He ruffles his hair angrily before returning to his room to remove his makeup and change, already finding his own manager inside, sitting on the couch. “Where were you? We are in a time crunch. We have a radio broadcast.” Seonghwa nods. “You have an interview next week with how the movie is coming along.” He lists and Seonghwa slips on his jacket and grabs his own.
His manager stops, frowning. “Where is your head at?” When there's no response his manager’s frown deepens. “Seonghwa.” He jumps, eyes locking with his managers. “Where are you at?” Seonghwa frowns back. “Sorry I'm just…tired I guess. It's been a long day.” His manager looks at him for a moment before nodding and walking behind Seonghwa as he leaves the room. “Van is here.” Seonghwa nods, looking around in case he will get a glimpse of you. He sees you walking towards him with your own manager, not looking at him. 
You have to get past him to be able to leave and you want to disappear, go out the back way. Maybe if i don't look at him he wont talk to me. You hope, biting your lip but smiling as your phone starts ringing. It's a small part of Wooyoung’s part in mist. “Hi Woo.” You whisper, glancing at Seonghwa as you walk past him. 
I'd like to thank Satan for creating Wooyoung and his perfect timing. 
You hum when he starts complaining about Seonghwa and Hongjoong. “Hey, Joong is a busy guy. Plus everyone, including atiny, know you like when he degrades you.” There's a scandalous gasp on Wooyoung's end. “...just because my heart flutters doesn't mean anything.” You roll your eyes. “Wooyoung thats a degradation kink, try to lie again and i'll tell Hongjoong.” You threaten and the line is silent for a moment before Wooyoung's voice drops into a whisper.
“I know Seonghwa went to do promotional photos today. How did that go?” You sigh, your own voice dropping. “About as good as you think Woo.” There's a sigh from the other end. “I don't know what to do Woo…” You continue when it's silent. “Everytime i see him, i think of his words and the fact he didnt want my side of the story fucking hurts. The pain fuels my anger so then I just…break.” You start mumbling at the end. “It's been years, Woo.” Wooyoung sighs and nods. “I know.” He murmurs before there's muffled talking on his end. “I gotta go, Seonghwa is the last one here, do you see him?” You take a quick glance around before nodding. “Yeah, he's just kind of…staring.”
You smirk for a moment before waving at Seonghwa and disappearing into your car. “I waved and now I'm leaving.” There's a burst of laughter on the other end and you gasp mockingly. “Did you put me on speaker phone?!” San’s laughing joining just confirms your guess.You barely get a look at the shocked look on the others face before the door is closed and you're off to your next schedule. 
“Have fun on the radio guys, I'll be watching!” The replies come together into gibberish and you laugh softly before hanging up. “Love those kids.” You mutter.
Looking up at Sujin you smile a bit. “What's next?” She hums as she drives. “Next is just a solo interview about what you're excited about for your upcoming movie, then there's a meeting with a brand that would like you as one of their ambassadors.” The smile that's playing on her lips has your stomach spinning in anticipation. “What brand?” You bit your lip, crossing your arms. “Starts with a G and ends with a y.” Your grin slowly grows.”Givenchy? Same one Hao is in?” She nods, her smile growing along with yours. “Can I message him about it? Or do I need to wait?” You are half tempted to pull out your phone.
Minghao has been your best friend since before you were even in the industry. Being under the acting portion of the same company you both had been friends before either of you had a debut. Minghao with his dancing and artwork and you with acting, you were both known friends. You were each other's rocks, especially when you found out Seonghwa was debuting in a kpop group.
She nodded, a glance back at you as she drove. “You can message him about it. He will probably be very excited.” You pull out your phone quickly, the memory and day with Seonghwa slipping your mind as you quickly texted your best friend about the news.
If there was one thing Sujin was good at, it was distracting you and making you forget about whatever happened during the days that made you sad. You grinned softly as you talked to Minghao throughout the rest of your free time between schedules.
Once sitting on the couch next to the interviewer you placed a blanket on your lap to keep modesty with how short your skirt was. “Hello Y/n, thank you for coming on the show.” You grinned widely, shaking your head. “It's no problem.” You leaned back. “So it seems you are having a new movie coming up. It looks like Ateez’s Seonghwa will be the lead male.” You nod softly. “Have you guys already met?” You nod, looking towards the camera. “We actually did promotional pictures today.” The interviewer gasps. “Can we expect anything? Can you give us any hints?” 
Shaking your head you chuckled. “There's no need, once the photos are out it will be all you need to know.” You tease carefully and the lady in front of you pouts softly before it changes. “So you met with Seonghwa, with their rising fame did it make you nervous at all. “No. I was already friends with Wooyoung and San. So it wasn't hard to be friendly with him. I'm only a few months younger than him and I've been watching them for a while. They're all so talented and friendly.” You mention.
“Should we expect any collabs soon?” You laugh at the question and shake your head. “Oh no, I can't sing or anything at all, ‘n i wouldn't want their captain's hard work to go to waste.” You grin. “Though everyone knows of my friendship with Minghao, he often tries to help me dance but I'm not very good at it.” The interviewer shakes her head. “We have seen some of the tiktok challenges you do with some idols. They look like some of the best ones we've seen from the actors and actresses”
You bite your lip and nod, bowing a bit. “Thank you.” Your cheeks turn a soft pink at the compliment.
You weren't used to compliments from strangers. Even now with being in the industry for almost 8 years. Your attention is brought back when the other chuckles softly. “So it’s Seonghwa’s first big acting role. Are you teaching him the ropes?” You shake your head. “I think he got it down from when Ateez had their own acting film.” She nods and sits up straight. “Well thank you for visiting me here Y/n. I hope to see you again soon.”
You nod and smile, standing up once the camera is off. “Thanks for inviting Lia.” She grins, eyes turning into crescents. “No problem Y/n. I do want to see you again soon though.” You nod. “We can get lunch in a few days?” You propose and she nods, standing up as well. “I'll be off first.” You bow your head a bit as the younger girl waves you goodbye.
Sliding into the car you huff when you catch Sujins gaze. “You did pretty well hiding your reactions from everyone.” She compliments and you nod, keeping quiet as you lean against the seat and closing your eyes. “Just a few months with him then you're done.” She comments and you sigh, eyes closing. “I can't believe he believed the end of what he saw.” You mumble before sitting up straight. “Now it's the meeting?!” She laughs and nods, driving away from the set and back to the company. 
“Should I go home after this or ask Hao to get lunch with me? Maybe Jun?” You're mostly talking to yourself but your manager still answers. “It's been a while since you last saw Jun, why don't you call him and see if he's back?” You purse your lips and nod. You know both of your managers had to have something going on between them. Considering her cheeks turning pink whenever you mention you're gonna see Jun.
You giggle quietly at the thought. You wont ask until she comes to you, after all it's her personal life even if you are friends too. You're just happy she doesn't keep it professional and stand offish as your last manager did. 
“Actually call both of them, I know their friends too.” She comments and you smile, nodding. You'd love to see both of your friends at the same time. Plus it's a known fact between all of your fans that you guys are best friends so you don't worry.
Seonghwa totally slips your mind once you step into the meeting room to talk with givenchy.
You also walk out as a new ambassador for the brand. You're quickly calling your two friends and asking them to dinner. “It's been so long.” You pout. “Especially since we have all gone to eat.” You wait for them to answer, grin growing as they both say yes. “Ok, how about in an hour? I just want to get out of these clothes and into something more comfortable.” They hum in response and you end the call, biting down on your bottom lip.
—---time skip—-
The next months are brutal, you barely got through the first month of shooting and Seonghwas remarks before you were aware of the kiss and bed scene. “Seokmin…” The blood drains from your face. “Don't worry Y/n, The covers will be over both of your bodies, nothing will be seen and both you and Seonghwa will be wearing skin coloured clothing so it's not like you'll both be seeing each other naked. The chemistry so far is amazing.” He grins brightly and you feel your protests crumble.
How can you be mad when he gives you that smile. You sigh and nod, Seonghwa behind you also nodding. You rub your eyes lightly, careful of the make up. “Alright, the scene is the day after tomorrow. Hopefully you'll be able to prepare yourselves in time.” He leaves with that remark.
The tv crew for the interview is already arriving and both of you go back to your rooms to put something a bit more modern on before you back in chairs in front of the cameras, Lia beside them. You smile as the camera man counts down and Lia starts her greeting before asking for both of you to introduce yourself.
“Hello, Im Ateez’s Seonghwa.” He bows his head a bit. 
“Hey, thanks for having me again. Im Y/n.” 
She smiles before she crosses a leg over the other, hands on her knee. “So how has recording been so far? We have seen the pictures, which look incredible. It seems like you have incredible chemistry even through pictures.” She comments and you shift in your seat. “Yeah it's been, about as you'd expect for a movie filming. Seonghwa and I have actually met before. We went to middle school together but never talked.” You can feel the way the male tenses a bit beside you. “It also helps that I'm already friends with most of his group.” You grin a bit. 
“What about you Seonghwa? How've you felt so far?” You're a bit nervous about his answer. You could both destroy each other's careers with a single sentence. You tense a bit as you look over towards the male beside you.
“So far I think it's going pretty good. Its fun working with Y/n and seeing her again after a long time.” You want to laugh in his face at his words. Thats a whole fucking lie. You smile at his words, making sure it feels natural. “So as your first big screen debut how does it feel Seonghwa?” She asks and he chuckles a bit.
“It's a big change from webtoons and small things like Ateez has done before.” He nods, you nod along with him. “But Y/n has been amazing at helping me learn more. I'm happy it was her that got the lead.” You think he's being truthful at the beginning. You have helped him a lot with learning the ropes of acting, getting him used to it just in case he gets another role in a different movie.
“That's amazing!” Lia grins and she sits up straight. “So you're way through filming right?” You both nod and she lowers her voice dramatically for the effect. “Can you give me a little inside as to how the movie is going?” You shake your head. “I can't give you anything Lia, I'm sorry.” You sigh teasingly and she slouches back in her chair. 
“Alright, I give.” She pouts a bit and you grin and sit up straight in your seat. “But…” You say, grabbing her attention. “We have a scene coming up that everyone will like.” She gasps. “Is it a kiss? Bed scene? A steamy make out?” She throws questions and you ignore the barely concealed shock on Seonghwa’s face. 
You know you might get scolded later, but you liked breaking the rules sometimes. You grin and Lia sighs when she notices you won't answer any of her questions. “I guess we should end it here.” She speaks, back to herself as she bows her head. “Thank you for visiting again Y/n and thank you Seonghwa for coming today, hopefully i can see you guys after the movie comes out.” She has a hopeful lilt in her words and you nod.
“Thank you for having us Lia.” The cameras shut and you're off the seat, eyes landing on Sujin who is already on the phone, eyes narrowed at you and you smirk, shrugging your shoulders. ‘Give the people what they want, just a peak.’ Your mouth and her scowl dissipates, a sigh leaving her lips and she turns away.
“You're going to get in trouble for that.” You glance around, making sure all fans have gone before you turn back and half roll your eyes. “Sujin knew I'd probably pull something, I do it sometimes, especially with Lia.” You wave your hand dismissively. “Plus, I have to keep everyone on their toes.” You pat his cheek teasingly before walking away towards the hallway. You're half way down the hall when Seonghwa catches up to you, holding your wrist.
Frowning you turn around, seeing the other biting down on his bottom lip. “That photographer…” You raise a brow. “Shua?” He nods, frowning. “He told me a few things, well more yelled at me the day we had the promotional photoshoot…” You pull your arm out of his grip before sighing and pulling him to your dressing room and making him sit down. “So what?” You continue and he looks away before he starts recounting the more one sided conversation.
By the end you're huffing out a laugh. “Ok? He told you the TRUTH if you were interested in it. The side you should've gotten, the side that made sense and matched with others.” You chuckle bitterly. Seonghwa went to college, not knowing Joshua as he was a few years ahead. You can tell Seonghwa is done with your attitude but you think he deserves it.
You snort as his eye twitches, raising your own brow before getting comfortable on the couch and staring at him. “So why are you here?” He clenches his jaw, and sighs. “I'm sorry…” It's clear and audible but it still sends surprise through your body. “You're sorry? Now you're sorry?!” You almost let out a hysterical laugh, disbelief on your face. “Are you sorry before you feel guilty for yourself or because you know the truth and realize you did the wrong thing? Didn't get both sides?” You spit, locking eyes with him. 
“Y’know what, let's just…forget it and once we finish the movie we will go our separate ways.” You wave your hand and sigh before getting up to grab your clothes. “Now, if you'd get out, that'd be great. I'm going to see Wooyoung after this.” He frowns. You're going to see Wooyoung? “Why are you going to see him?” You sigh and face away from him. “If you aren't going to leave, can you atleast make yourself useful and unzip the back of my dress so I can change.”
He nods and walks closer. “You didn't answer my question.” You sigh  once he unzips the dress, slipping on your shirt before turning around once he steps away. “Thank you. But I'm going to see Woo because we are friends.” You explain before slipping your shorts on under the rest of the dress and slipping it off. Seonghwa sighs, resting his head in his hands. “I never hated you…” You rolled your eyes as you slipped on your shoes and grabbed your phone. “Ya’ coulda’ fucking fooled me.” You snap before you're grabbing the rest of your items and calling Wooyoung. 
“Hey Woo- '' He frowned as you called one of his members. Grabbing your phone he hung up the call and pulled you into his arms, hugging you tightly, you couldn't help but melt into his hold first, hiding your face in his chest with a sigh. Your body tensed and you tried to pull away only to give up when you felt his body shaking. “...Seonghwa?” His sniffles grew loud and he hid his face in your neck. “I’m sorry Y/n…” You sighed. “I never hated you Hwa, I was just… just…disappointed that you didn't want to listen to my side.” You sighed. “I missed you Hwa. A lot, but you seemed so happy to just drop me because it didn't look like you cared.” You frowned gently, arms raising and hesitating before hugging him back. 
You heard him sigh, a shaky sound as he hugs you tighter and pulls back. “Tell me everything.” You pause, eyes flickering between both of his eyes, seeing if there was anything else in his eyes. You have a few hours before you have to meet Wooyoung. Pursing your lips you sigh. Why not? You mumble before putting your back down and turning to sit on the couch. Once Seonghwa sits on the couch you take a breath before explaining.
—--
By the end Seonghwa hasn't said anything, he's quiet, eyes on his hands as he tries to find the words. “Why did you think Yujin told the truth?” You speak and Seonghwa bites his lip. “I had a crush on her…” You scrunch your nose in disgust. “Are you serious? You believed I was a slut because she said so? You believed I slept with your family. Your dumbass believed her over me, you knew her for maybe a month. What other lies did you believe? Didn't she tell you that I slept with your friends too? That I slept with the whole school?” He looked away. “No, Seonghwa look me in the eye when you lie to me.” 
His eyes found yours after a moment. “Im…” You kept eye contact and his bottom lip trembled. “She fed me so many lies I didn't know what to believe.” He spoke and you sighed. “I won't forgive you and I won't forget, but we can be friends again.” You handed him your phone. “Put your number in and we can talk more, maybe even meet up after shooting when our schedules line up for dinner or drinks.”
Seonghwa’s cheeks flushed red. “I, uh, i'm not a good drinker.” You blinked before you nodded. “That's right, Wooyoung told me.” He huffed before he put his number in your phone. “Maybe we can continue back to when we were friends? When Yujin wasn't there?” You sighed. “I think we talked enough about it right now. I'll see you tomorrow.” You finished and got up. Seonghwa watched for a moment before he nodded, resting against your couch.
You could almost see the million thoughts going through his head and you bit your lip before walking over to him and leaning down. There was only one way to get his mind to stop running. You knocked your forehead against his gently. It was a thing you both always did when one was spiraling, thoughts running 100 mph with no end in sight. “Breath Hwa.” You could hear his breath hitch, no doubt remembering how many times you both did the same thing to each other. 
Once you felt him relax you stepped back, his eyes looking at you with almost sparkles. Your cheeks flushed. “Stop looking at me like that.” Why did he still have the same effect on you as he used too, if not more intense. Enemies to lovers was one of your favorite tropes. You rapidly shook the thought out of your head before walking towards the door. “Text me Hwa. We need to catch each other up on everything.” Your voice was the softest it had been towards him in a while.
He nodded, a small smile growing on his lips as he watched you leave. He finally had a second chance. When he lost you he felt it. The pain of losing your best friend. But the lies she kept telling them only fueled his hatred for what he believed you had done. Why didn't he ask for your side, ask his family or friends if it was true? Everything he could have done was now spinning around his head. He really was an idiot.
He pulled his phone back and sent you a text, smiling as he saw your contact name. He stood up and walked towards the door as well, not seeing you in sight before he left as well, heading back to the dorms just in time to see Wooyoung leaving. “Bye Wooyoung.” He said instead of a greeting. The younger waved before he was shutting the door and off to meet up with you. 
He bet Wooyoung knew what had happened, assuming by the way Wooyoung had given him a soft smile. 
—--
The next day you both met up for shooting, you had both agreed to head out after the shoot to catch up, maybe continue where the good things ended. He had high hopes. You bit your lip as you watched him come into your dressing room, Sujin giving you a firm look before walking out. Seonghwa smiled faintly at you. “I know today is the kissing scene and the bed scene is two days ago. I think we should be on friendly terms…” He trailed off, leaning against the make up table you were at as you nodded, eyes locking on his. 
The silence should've been awkward or tense but you guess the talk yesterday had an effect. You licked your lips as you leaned back. “Tell me about afterwards. When did you join your company?” You watched him look down as he started talking about what happened after. You both went back and forth talking about what had happened when you both split ways. 
There was a knock on the door that interrupted you both, a voice through the door telling you it was time to shoot. Giving each other a look you both went out, hoping to finish quickly so you could both go to eat after. Seonghwa had an early schedule tomorrow and you had a rare day off. You took a breath as you went onto the set, going through the lines and scenes in your head. Giving both the director and Seonghwa a confident nod and a smile, you were both ready to start. “We finish last time right before the kiss, so we will go from there.”
You smiled as you stood in front of Seonghwa, face softening as you changed into your character, arms going around his neck and one hand on the back of his head in his hair. When the cue was given you went through your lines, head tilted to the side before you glanced down at his lips, before Seonghwa was leaning down to press your lips together, a hand somewhat covering both of your lips., the other gripping your waist.
Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt consumed by Seonghwa, letting him lead.as he adjusted you both, turning as the camera changed positions, tongue swiping against your lip and you let him, a harsh breath through your nose as you let the other move you like a doll, your grip on his hair. You gasped as he pulled away, your head tilting back as you felt him move to your neck. You bit your lip as the camera zoomed in on Seonghwa, catching the way his mouth opened and bit down on your neck. 
You faked a struggle and held your neck as you backed up, fake blood smearing against your neck and Seonghwas mouth.
“Cut!” You gave Seonghwa a high five before you both changed into a different scene, a grin on both your lips as you both changed and cleaned up.
The filming ended quicker than usual and you thanked everyone for their help before you nodded towards the other. “I'll meet you by the door so we can head to dinner together? There's a place across the street I've wanted to try.” Seonghwa nodded before you both disappeared into your room,
You had to admit, you were a bit scared of what this dinner could come out to. He could only want to be on friendly terms for only the rest of filming. But he seemed genuine. Maybe he wanted to start catching up? You frowned as you finished changing, slipping on your jacket before texting your manager that you would be getting dinner with Seonghwa and would be home later. You got the expected reaction from her.
‘???? Dinner??? With THE Park Seonghwa??? What happened to this mutual hatred?’
There were masses of texts from her and you had to sigh, a fond smile on your lips before you locked it and put it in your pocket, walking to the door and finding Seonghwa already. “Well?” You question and his head snapped up, gaze meeting yours and he nodded. “Let's go.
You smiled, walking beside him as you both left to go to the restaurant across the street. “So this dinner, did you want to talk about what's gonna happen after this? After filming ends?” He took a minute, eyes on his feet for a moment before he looked over at you. “Yeah.” You nodded, pursing your lips as he opened the door for you, giving a small smile and nod of thanks as you asked the waitress for a private table as her eyes widened when the recognition hit her. She led you away towards the back where there were small partitions splitting the few of the tables. “Thank you. Could we start with water and desert wine?” She nodded, scribbling it down and disappearing.
You took a breath and sat down, Seonghwa sitting across from you. “I think we should be friends, start over.” He started, looking at you. “I'm not saying forgive and forget, I'm saying, maybe forgive over time? I’ll show you that I'm better, that I won't hurt you again.” He pursed his lips when the waitress came over with the water and wine. Nodding his thanks he continued. “I did miss your friendship, and I'm sorry that I let her brainwash me with lies.” You nodded, drinking your glass of wine as you listened to him talk.
“Im ok with that…” You nodded and you couldn't fight your smile when you saw Seonghwas own. “I’ll give you another chance, but i wont forget.” He nodded. “I get it.” He smiled crookedly. “Maybe we can get back to where we were in friendship?” You shrugged and watched as he took a drink nodding. “Maybe.” You nodded, licking your lips and both looking through the menu and you both quickly picked something and ordered before you leaned back in your chair. 
“Sujin was surprised when I told her where I was going, more that i was going with you.” He nodded, a chuckle leaving his lips. “Yeah, I think Woo was surprised when I told him.” You grinned wider at the mention of the younger. “I'm waiting for his call.” You admitted, Seonghwa nodding before he took another drink, closing his eyes. “Maybe he will wait til after?”
He didnt end up calling that night.
The dinner ended with you both drinking another bottle of wine before walking back to your place, giggling and bumping into each other like old times. Every now and then your fingers would brush and Seonghwa would hesitate to hold your hand. Was it too soon? You both had just made up and he didnt want to risk it by doing anything dumb too soon. 
You bit your lip, once you got inside the lobby you pressed the button for the top flood and barely got inside before Seonghwa had up up against the mirrored walls and a rushed ‘i cant wait’ before he leaned forward and pressed your lips together again. This one was full of passion, longing and a bit of sadness. You gasped before you relaxed and let him take over again, hugging him close to you before he heard the elevator ding, dragging you out and grinning against your lips.
He gripped your hip as he pressed you against the wall beside the door, locking the door easily. You let out a sigh as his lips met the skin of your neck, eyes closing as your hand reached up to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer. Your free arm wrapped around his waist as you held him against your body tightly. “No marks.” You managed to get out and you heard Seonghwa huff. “I can't make you either. Your fans wouldn't be happy and neither would mine. The media would have so much fun.” You managed to choke out when he nipped at your neck, hands slipping under your shirt and up towards your bra, stroking the warm skin of your back. 
You rested your head back against the wall, tugging on his hair to bring him up to your lips. “Are you going to let me ride your cock Hwa? Make me forget my name and only remember yours?” You could feel the effect your words had on him, his cock on your thigh twitching with every dirty word that left your mouth. You giggled against his lips as he grinded against your thigh, hissing quietly. He leaned down, tapping the back of your thighs, hinting at you to jump. “Wrap your legs around my waist baby.” He murmured against your lips as he pressed them together, nipping at your bottom lip.
He chuckled, catching you easily as you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand hands tangling into his hair as he deepened the kiss, letting him lead you to the couch. His hand slipped up your back to find the clasp of your bra and easily unclipped it before you both fell onto the couch, him grinning. 
“I just might make you forget your name. You've been teasing me lately.” He hums. “I could punish you but I bet you'd like it.” You rested your head back against the cushions, legs falling from his waist but still caging his hips in. You chuckled. “I think we have waited too long for you to just punish me, after all.” You trailed off, lifting your hips enough to grind against him, a smirk on your lips as you felt the hardness pressing against the fabric of his cheeks. “You're seeming to get a bit…what's the word, impatient yourself.” You hummed, sitting up to slip off your shirt and bra. “How about we practice for that scene?” You grinned a bit, sliding your hands underneath his shirt and pulling it up. “We can make it real. Not having barriers against us.”
You grin and he groans against your lips as he leans back down. “Such a tease.” He shifts both of you enough to get your pants and panties off as his shirt and pants disappear. “You're already so wet.” He cooed quietly, hands sliding against your thighs before he shuffled down and laid on his stomach the best he could, thanking you in his head that you had a long couch. 
“Can I?” He flicks his gaze up to you as he glances at your pussy, licking his lips. You pretend to think about it for a moment, but the warmth of his breath against the wet patch of your panties makes you clench around nothing. You nod and he wastes no time with getting you accustomed to his tongue. You would've never guessed Seonghwa was good at head, but looking at some of the videos and what fans have to say you should've guessed he would be.
You groaned at the swipe of his tongue through your folds, hand tangling into his hair as you let your head fall back on the couch, eyes closed. “Fuck…” You feel more than hear Seonghwa hum against your pussy and your hips jolt from reflex, a string of expletives leaving your mouth.
You sighed as you felt Seonghwa wrap his lips around your clit and suck, his finger pressing his way inside after swiping them through your folds. You wanted to close your legs but it was like he could read your mind, his hands coming to pin your legs against the couch before pulling away, licking his lips. “You taste so good.” It sounds pornographic, the whine you let out when he pulls away. His eyebrow raises and his lips quirk into a smirk. “Was my tongue that good?” The smirk on his face tells you he knows it was. You pout, avoiding his eyes as he presses his fingers into you, crooking them upwards, fingertips pressing against the spongy spot inside of you, a grin on his lips. 
“There?” You nodded, hand gripping his wrist as his massaged the spot, eyes tracing over your body. “You're so pretty.” His tongue swipes across his bottom lip, hunger in his as he adds another finger. “More?” He looks back up at you, free hand coming to stroke your side, humming as you nod. “I want you cock Hwa. Please…” He bit his lips before he slipped his fingers out and straight into his mouth. He groaned softly at the taste, eyes falling shut before you wrapped your legs around his waist, trying to put his cock inside you by yourself. 
A quick swat to your outer thigh had you stopped, a pout on your lips as he looked down at you. “No.” You huffed before it broke into a low whine, gripping his wrists once he caged you in with his hands next to your head as he slowly pressed inside you. His eyes locked between your body, biting his bottom lip. When he glanced back up he furrowed his brows at the slight pain on your face. 
“I knew you werent stretched enough, so impatient you couldnt wait long enough so i could fuck you comfortably? Maybe you wanted it this way.” He cooed once he managed to fit all of him inside, a deep breath leaving. “Wanted to be stretched by my cock and not my fingers. Do you like the pain?” He taunted and you bit your lip as your eyes opened, looking up at him.
A look into his eyes told you he was holding himself back the best he could, Maybe talking was distracting him. “Hmmm.” You hummed out, eyes a bit hazy as you tried to focus on the man above you. “You can move.” He raised a brow but sat up, hands on your hips, a faint smile on his lips as you kept your hands on his wrists. The first snap of his hips ripped a gasp from your throat, a groan following. “Fuck thats good.” You whined, tightening your legs as his gaze stayed on where you both were connected. “Look at you…” He murmured. “Taking me so well…” He bit his bottom lip as his thrusts sped up slowly, punching moans out from your chest with each one. 
You released one of his hands to put it against the arm of the couch to prevent your head from hitting it, Seonghwas thrusts scooting you up the couch little by little. He raised your hips a bit, shifting his aim and grinning when you tighten your grip and arched your back, a loud broken moan leaving your lips. “Right there?” At your frantic nod he kept his hips aimed and sped up his thrusts, licking his thumb and rubbing your clit quickly. “Fuck…” He breathed, hissing under his breath. “You're so tight.” He looked up at you. “Cum baby.” He purred as he held back his own orgasm, wanting you to cum first. 
Watching you fall apart on his cock made him wish he could have recorded it. The thin layer of sweat covering your body and the way your body arched, mouth falling open in a silent moan, the way your eyes squeezed shut and your grip on his wrist tightened. Beautiful. He had half the mind to ask if he could take a pic. The image had him quickly pulling out, his cum pooling on your stomach and some on your chest. He let go with a groan, giving you both a second before he got up and walked to your bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it to wipe off his cum.
“Hey Y/n. You need to go pee.” He murmured after he finished cleaning you up. “And take a shower.” He spoke softly, using the other side of the rag to wipe his own body clean. He will take a shower when he gets home. You nodded, disappearing into the bathroom on shaky legs. He sat down at the table after slipping his pants and boxers back on. You both had to talk about what had just happened.
When he saw you come out he nodded towards the chair in front of him. “We should talk about it.” You nodded before you sat down in front of him and quickly spitting out what you were thinking in the shower. “I'm ok with keeping this friends with benefits thing…” Seonghwas mouth dropped a bit, surprise on his face. “I know jacking off only helps so much until you start needing something better.” His cheeks are turning pink so you continue. “While I know any of your fans would line up for a chance, we would be better. We are friends to the public eye and it won't be TOO hard to pass everything with no scandal.” You watch him, mouth still open. You grinned slowly. “Hwa?”
He rapidly shook his head, shaking away the surprise before he covered his face. “Im…ok with that.” He admitted and you chuckled. “While its hard for idols its hard for actresses, we are seen as sluts or whores if we hand out with any guy that the public doesnt seem to know. Hao, Jun and I hang out because we are all under the same company so theres no scandal.” He nods, peeking through his hands. 
“We can both fill each others sexual needs. Easy.”
You were both in agreement. You smiled at him. "Maybe we will end up as more some time." That got Seonghwa to pull his hands away to look at you. "Really?" You nodded.
"Really."
60 notes · View notes
hongmingoo · 5 months
Text
Headliner
Pairing: Joshua Hong x reader
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GENRE: idol!Joshua x idol!reader, angst, fluff, exes to lovers, idol life.
Word count: 3.5k
Synopsis: No one wishes to be unhappy. Every single person on the face of the earth wishes to be happy, to be successful, to be with the person they love the most. Even Joshua Hong, the perfect gentleman, and kind-hearted Joshua wishes to be truly happy. It's not that he's not happy to be where he is now, he is beyond grateful for his success, his fame, for his family, friends and fans. He couldn't begin to thank them enough for being there through all the shit he's been through. But truth be told, he knows that there's something missing in his almost perfect life. You. 
Joshua met you by accident at a music show when he was promoting Seventeen's debut. You were a senior artist that he only knew much much later, helped him get back to their waiting room because he was lost. You didn't say who you were, face hidden behind a black mask, a black bucket hat covering most of your head, only a pair of gleaming green eyes visible. And that sparkling green jewels were the one that attracted him to you. 
It was Seungkwan who told him about who you were, a senior artist who debuted way earlier than they were, a soloist to be exact. The younger male had said he's a fan of you too, telling him that you had a unique voice and a wide vocal range whilst being a good dancer too. Seungkwan had told him that you have your own crowd who adores you and also a group of antis who hated you just for being a biracial idol, that it's understandable if he doesn't recognise you. 
It was ridiculous to him, but that was also a logical explanation considering his band member, Vernon also faced the same discrimination and was bullied in his childhood for not looking like a 'Korean'. He began to listen to your discography, watch your music shows and start to become a fan. When he occasionally met you at music shows, he'd muster his courage to talk to you. 
That does it for him. You were kind, warm hearted and nowhere near arrogant as the rumors made you seem. It's true that you had sharp features that made you seem intimidating and unapproachable but he reminded himself that Wonwoo was like that too at first and yet he's the softest of all 13 members. You talked so politely, even with your juniors, treated them respectfully and were always ready to give them any form of help. Be it words of advice or singing or dancing tips, you were always willing to help. 
When he asked you to date him, a year after getting to know each other, after 4 times rejecting the idea, you finally agreed. That made him the happiest. He was always smiling so happily, he looked forward to your secret dates, your brief meetups from busy schedules just to see you and hold your hands. The long drive from Seoul to Gangneung, to go to Gyeongpo Beach that you guys frequent when you need to unwind. Staying up through the night to catch up with each other before driving back to Seoul for early morning schedules. It was tiring, but seeing your smile melted his fatigue so it was worth the struggle to him. But those happy times didn't last long, good things are bound to come to an end. It's bound to happen, that's just how life works and there's no one to blame. Rumors are beginning to spread and you guys had to make a choice. 
He had barely debuted, the future holds so many more opportunities for him and he can't afford to be distracted now. And of course, being an idol who has been at the top, you knew that. So you choose to step back and let him go, let him pursue his dreams. You refused to let him take the fall if rumors about you guys dating did spread, he will get hurt. You broke up with him and retired from being an idol. And you're gone, just like that. 
And now, here he is as one of the members of the worldwide kpop idol group Seventeen, at the peak of his career, after all of the struggles that were in their way, he finally made it. Hit after hit, topping charts, concert tickets sold out, breaking records after records, receiving multiple awards for their success but there's still one person that's missing. 
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He met you again when his company officially joined Hybe, you were one of the main producers along with Bumzu and Woozi who composed Seventeen's songs but you were in charge of a girl group under Bighit, your main label since before. And you were still as beautiful as ever, even after 4 years of radio silence, barely aging, barely anything changed. You still talked to him so nicely, congratulated him on all of his achievements and told him you have been keeping up with him and Seventeen. No one mentioned the breakup, it was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you, and he noticed there was an invisible wall around you when you talked to him or were in his presence. 
It breaks his heart a bit, because he only wants you to be comfortable around him like you did before but he guessed that the breakup hurt you a lot more than you're giving away. And it makes him yearn for you more. He wants to be in your arms as you cuddle again, wants to hear your heart beating against his ear as he rests his head on your chest. He wants to feel your fingers playing with his hair again as you lull him to sleep. He wants to hold your small hands in his bigger ones as you both take a night stroll along the Han River. He wants to hear your sweet voice as you both screamed your lungs to the songs on the radio when you went for a night drive. He wants to call you his, again. 
"Are you dating anyone?" Joshua asked one day. You were a bit shocked at the sudden question, but you shook your head anyway. Deciding not to question the reasoning behind his inquiry. 
"Why not?"
"Just don't feel like it" your reply came out curt and short, obviously showing you're not interested in continuing this interrogation any further and wishes he would change the subject. But he was staring at you, eyes full of unspoken wishes– glimmering with hope. A hope you don't dare to question. A wish you begged to never have to acknowledge. 
"Don't look at me like that. Please…" you breathed, looking away from him, anywhere but him. 
"I hope you know that I'm always here if you ever want to talk. About anything, about us" he said, voice soft.
"Shua–" you sighed but cut yourself off when you realized you shouldn't call him that again. It made you feel like you're closer to him once again. Hearing that nickname rolled off your tongue easily made you feel weak.
"You called me Shua again. You haven't called me that in a long time. I miss hearing you call me that" he says, fingers reaching to brush strands of hair from your face. You let him, and you have no idea why. Maybe you do, but you refused to admit it. You let him cup your jaw, tilt your head up a bit, brushing his thumb on your cheekbone as he stares at you with his beautiful bambi eyes.
"I've missed you. And I miss you. So so much" he whispered, his voice was so gentle, like the morning breeze, it warms your heart. Your soul that you've vouched away in order to survive in this cruel industry awakens, yearning for this man in front of you. You could see his brown eyes shimmering with unshed tears. It took all of your willpower to not just curl your arms around his neck and pull him in a hug. You looked away, in hopes that he would stop trying to stare at you, or even look at you.
"Look at me. Won't you look at me anymore?" That was the last straw, hearing his voice broke like that felt like a knife stabbing at your heart multiple times. You jumped at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and buried your face in the crook of his neck. You let the tears you tried so badly to hold back streamed down your face, wetting the fabric of his turtleneck.
"You can't do this to me. I was trying so hard to protect you. You don't know what you're asking for! You were doing so great without me… why– why are you…" you sobbed, clenching the fabric of his soft sweater in your fists tightly. Joshua wrapped his arms around your torso, his large hands rubbing at the small of your back. 
"You don't have to protect me. I only want you here with me, be beside me" he assured. You pulled away, to look into his eyes again. 
"You don't understand. I am the most hated female idol ever. I am the most controversial idol. Being with me will only bring scandal to your name! Even if I'm not an idol anymore, but–"
"None of the controversy was your fault. You know that, your fans know that, we know that. It's just the netizens' baseless accusations. There are still people who love you, are waiting for you–"
"But that changes nothing right? You couldn't deny that the crowd prefers me going under. The day I announced my retirement, people were cheering. The agency was flooded with people 'congratulating' me. My address was exposed, there's weird things in my mailbox everyday– threats to never come back, to just rot and die, to kill myself for being an embarrassment to society. Not everyone is as accepting and loving as Carats, Shua.” you say, voice stern. Joshua saw the pain evident in your eyes. The pain of betrayal, hatred and anger.
But there’s also sadness and longing  in the depth of those green orbs. He was taken aback, those eyes that used to be filled with so much love and care now painted with hatred and fear. What happened to you? What happened to you during the times that you left for him to grow as an idol. At that moment, he realized that he hasn’t been keeping up with you like you did for him. He didn’t follow up with your career as you did for him. He barely remembers someone told him that you attended some of their concerts  and during tours. He had shut you down after the break up because he was hurt and he was trying to move on from you. But you were still there, at the other end of the line, supporting him with your all. 
“What happened to you?” he sobbed, tears finally pours out of those bambi eyes and it broke your already broken heart even more. 
“A lot. Enough to eat away at my soul” you breathed, unable to keep it within you anymore. Now, your eyes are void of any feelings, empty and soulless. Joshua pulled you in, to lean your foreheads together as he cried, mumbling “I’m sorry” to you countless times until he’s breathless. 
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There were rumours spreading around the internet, about Joshua and his speculated ‘girlfriend’. It was said that they were dating, since they went to the same places, wore the same clothes and the girl even went to Seventeen’s concert. Most Carats were very accepting of this news, some of them were denying it because there were no confirmation from Shua or Pledis themselves and some are even mad that some people dared to invade his privacy. While this  maybe harmless, but there antis who went as far to pay trucks to insult him. There are hate comments posted all over the internet, stalkers and sasaeng tailing him around. While he looked fine on the outside, Joshua was badly affected by all of this. 
He was usually smiling wherever he goes, greeting fans and reporters around him with a kind smile. But there’s no smile on his beautiful face anymore. Carats saw this persona when they saw him at the airport with a straight face, he didn’t greet the crowd with a cheery face anymore. They were deeply saddened by this fact so the fandom showered him with more love and appreciation– liking all of his posts on Instagram, commenting on his post with kind words, making edits about him to show him how much he is loved by his fans and that he shouldn’t worry that his fans would leave him if he really did date someone and if the rumors were true. They told him that they wished he will always be happy– they’re happy if he’s happy. They’ll be so happy for him if he has someone he loves, someone to call a lover.
No matter what they say, we love you so much, Joshua.
They were giving their ending ments, but DK and Mingyu were trying to comfort Joshua who was emotional. He really tried his best to calm himself but ended up crying again. 
“I really want to thank all the Carats for keep loving and supporting us. Carats have been my driving force to keep working hard. I will continue to work hard even more from now on. Thank you Carats, I love you so much” Joshua say, as he choked up on his tears. He then took a deep breath before looking at his members. 
“Can I… Can I say something more?” he asked them, then turning to look at Seungcheol who was sitting at the top seat in the audience. They can already feel what he wanted to talk about so they all turned to their leader, waiting for his approval. Seungcheol sighed, he felt bad that his friend had to go through this torment, just for some baseless rumours. Joshua is not dating the girl he’s rumoured with, heck, he doesn’t even know who the girl was. Seungcheol nodded, he agreed to let Joshua to do what he wishes, the company be damned, he wants his friend to be happy first– more than anything. Joshua smiled at him sadly and mouthed a small thanks. He turned to the fans again.
“Truthfully, there’s someone that I love. I have loved her way back since I barely debuted until today. We dated once, very briefly but we broke up because fans wouldn’t like it if their idols date. So, she left. To protect me. She was someone I absolutely adore, very talented and loving. A senior idol we all looked up to. We meet again, and I asked if we can be together again. But she was still so afraid of that idea, afraid that it will hurt me more, that it will bring more damage to me. What do I do, Carats? How should I convince her?” Joshua said. His tears are falling again. The fans squealed, exhilirated to  hear this directly from him, because it was unusual for Joshua or even idols to share their private lives explicitly. 
“Date her!” someone in the crowds shouted. 
“You should convince her to date you!”
“We’ll be happy to see you date someone!” 
“An idol??”
“I wanna see this lucky girl!” 
The responses were mostly warm and it put a smile on their faces. Carats are really the best. Joshua looked up again to where Seungcheol was sitting, a sad smile on his face. 
“You heard what they say, don’t you? They wanted us to date. What do you say?” he asked. The crowd went wild after that. Shocked and excited to know this person who has been occupying their idols heart was present among them.
“She’s here?!” someone screamed. 
“What?? Is it someone sitting in S.Coups’s area?” 
“I thought it was all the staff members near him!”
The cameras zoomed in to the area where Seungcheol was sitting in again, this time showing him looking at a figure dressed in all black, face and hair all hidden under large bucket hat, face mask and sunglasses. He looked like he was assuring her, eyes gentle and understanding.
“It’s okay, Y/n. You don’t have to be scared” Seungcheol assured. 
“What are you guys doing, exposing us like this?!” you whisper-yelled, panic evident in your voice. 
“Calm down. We’re here with you. No one will hurt you” he replied.
“How are you so sure? There’s lots of people and staff members”
“The staff here are on our side. You don’t have to be scared. We’re in this together” Seungcheol said, voice firm. You knew he couldn't see your brows furrowing, and that you're biting your lips in worry. But he sure knows a way to pull you out of your thoughts.
"He's going to call your name if you don't look at him soon. The whole Tokyo Dome will hear it. Are you sure you're ready for that?" His words made you turn back to the guys on stage so fast you almost got a whiplash. 
"You finally look at me," Joshua smiled. His voice sounded so happy that it made the audience cheer wildly for him and it made your heart clenches with fear. 
“Date him! You are the luckiest girl in the world! There’s so many women who want to be in your place right now!” a fan cheered so loudly that made the  whole place cackles.
“No, I am the luckiest guy in the world if I’ll be able to call her mine again” Joshua intercepted, a sweet smile on his face as he looked up at you. You were feeling all sorts of things right now and you might just pass out from this overwhelming pressure. You wanted to run away but you also wanted to run to him instead. 
“Let’s start again. Let’s be each others’ light and courage once more. And, even if there’s another rainy day again… I’ll be the first in line for you. I will cry and laugh with you, so will call me yours again?” Joshua confesses, his voice breaking at the end– trying to hold back his cries. At this point, your face and the mask you wore were wet with tears and you were gripping the railing so hard that your knuckles turned white. The whole place turned quiet after that, awaiting your answer. The air hangs heavy in the atmosphere. Joshua felt like his heart might jump out of his chest from beating so wildly in his ribcage.
You finally nodded, finally gave him the answer he so desperately wanted and he immediately bursts into tears, exhaling heavily. DK immediately pulled him into his embrace to calm him even though he was the one crying harder than Shua did. The latter hid his face in DK’s shoulder to hide his crying face from embarrassment. Seungkwan went to hug him from behind, happy for his hyung– finally get to be with the person he loves again. And then it turned to be a group hug out of a sudden and Seungcheol was pouting because he couldn’t join them. 
“Do you want to join them? I can bring you to the stage” a guard asked Seungcheol who was pouting. 
“Yes. And please bring Y/n with us too” he replied.
“Why me?” you questioned, puzzled.
“Because you’re part of our family. Has always been that way. But, welcome back, Y/n” he smiled, gums exposed and cheeks bunching cutely. 
“Glad to be back” you chuckled.
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After the successful comeback– SEVENTEENTH HEAVEN, Pledis Ent made an announcement shocking the whole fandom and K-pop industry. 
Hello, This is Pledis Ent.
We are happy to announce that Seventeen’s member Joshua officially started dating fellow artist Lee Y/n of Bighit Ent. They have been together for quite some time and finally ready to share this happy news with the fans. We ask you for continuous love and support for both Joshua and Y/n for their endeavors. May they always be happy with each other among the loving family, friends and fans. 
Thank you. 
After that, Joshua posted on Weverse, photos of you both with the brightest smile on your faces, holding hands, going on walks and trips with each other. You both looked so happy in those photos and he wished his fans could see that too. 
 ‘My Headliner. Please continue to give us love and support Carats. And thank you for always loving me as I am. I am forever grateful for you all. I love you so much. And to my lover, thank you for staying strong despite all the hardships you’ve been through. I’ll make it up to you from now on. Please continue to love me <3’ 
-Fin-
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jeonstellate · 9 months
Text
in this dark: dawn
you ask the moon to bless your first love with his greatest before you leave his life indefinitely.
๑彡 hong jisoo x afab!reader
๑彡 strangers-to-lovers!au, arranged marriage!au — angst(?), fluff
๑彡 paragraph format — 2.6K words
masterlist | in the dark: dusk
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[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]
๑彡 this is the second half of the two-shot, in the dark. i highly recommend reading the first half — linked above — prior to opening this :]
๑彡 same as dusk, the title is taken from bobby’s in the dark.
Shortly after your introduction to Joshua, you began spending most of your days with him. Not voluntarily for either of you, though, but rather due to the strong wills of your respective mothers.
As such, you unintentionally learned a lot about one another. More specifically, you observed how kind and considerate he was — not just to you, but to everyone around him at all times.
Honestly speaking, you were subtly trying to find flaws in him — to make it easier to despise him. It wasn’t his fault he was your fiancé, yes, but you needed a reason to not succumb to your parents’ desires immediately. Whether you love him or not, you’d have to marry him either way — so it’d be best to reserve your heart for Suho until you no longer can.
Your parents might dictate who you marry, but you refuse to let them dictate who you give your heart to, too.
"May I know the reason for your tears, my love?" Suho announced his presence with worry laced in his soft voice.
You didn’t even realize tears had spilled over your cheeks until he arrived. "I think I love you." No matter how much you wanted to say it directly to his face, you didn’t want to break your agreement. Thus, you opted to look at the moon instead.
"Is the thought of loving me that appalling that it warranted your tears?" Suho sounded taken back and hurt all at once.
"Yes," you reply immediately — not sparing his feelings a thought, "because I don’t deserve to love you if I can’t proudly tell the world."
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Joshua quite possibly didn’t possess any flaw. In the short period that you’ve known him, you couldn’t find anything that you could loathe him for no matter how hard you tried.
You found comfort in knowing that your fiancé seemed to be a good person, without any hidden sides. Yet, at the same time, it frustrate you to no end that you simply couldn’t hate him.
Joshua was too good for you: you who couldn’t be honest with him; you who couldn’t even be proud of who you truly love.
"Josh," you called his attention away from the book in his hands, "have you ever been in love?"
"I have," he replied in a beat. "Why?"
"Do your parents know?" You were understandably curious. With the patriarchal society, almost everything favored those of the male gender. As such, his parents knowing about his out-of-contract love made more sense than your parents knowing about yours — especially if that meant they would do everything in their power to force that love out of you had they known.
"I did tell them I was in love with someone prior to officially meeting you, yes."
"To try to stop this arrangement?" You immediately noticed how he looked reluctant to reply to your honest guess. "It’s alright, you can tell me. I don’t mind."
"It was a futile attempt," Joshua chuckled soundlessly without any humor.
You nodded, already expecting that answer given the status of the situation you share. "For what’s it worth, I think would’ve done the same had my opinion weighed as much as yours."
A comfortable silence engulfed you two once more, as you both went back to reading the respective books in your hands. However, before the world within your hands swallow you once more, you heard Joshua murmur.
"I’m glad this arrangement led you to me, at least."
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You and Joshua excused yourselves for a promenade whilst your mothers excite themselves with finalizing your wedding.
You tried not to notice how everyone seemed to follow you both with their gazes, not so subtly as they might imagine. Neither were their whispers, however inaudible their words might be from where you both were walking.
Albeit you were clueless on what could’ve possibly piqued their interests about you and Joshua, you didn’t dwell on it. After all, the village gossip would reach you soon enough — like it always did, regardless of your curiosity.
"I have something for you," Joshua broke you out of your reverie. He then fished something out of his pocket and held it on his palm.
"A necklace . . . ?" It wasn’t just a regular necklace. It wasn’t something that was professionally done by a jeweler nor was it purchased in a store. Rather, it was put together by less experienced hands; crafted carefully with love.
Just like every handmade item Suho had given you.
"I made it for you," he smiled shyly.
You returned the gesture with one that reached your eyes. "I love it. Thank you."
Unbeknownst to you, the prickling feeling of being watched by an uncomfortable number of eyes immediately felt numb when your gaze met Joshua’s. Suddenly, it was just you and him in the library of your home — away from the prying eyes of your village.
"Can I . . .?"
"Of course."
It wasn’t until the sun had set did you get a chance to look at the necklace Joshua had given you that morning and the bracelet Suho had given you all those months ago side by side. It wasn’t until then did you notice that those two handmade jewelries had a similar craftsmanship — as if they were made by the same hands.
And it wasn’t until then did you reprimand yourself for going too far in wishing that Joshua and Suho were the same person: to the point of delusion.
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As you anticipated, the gossip eventually reached your ears. Despite the people at the park making it seem like it was specifically about you and Joshua, it wasn’t necessarily the case. Unfortunately, even with that information, there was no relief that followed.
After all, most of the village believe the rumor was about you, anyway.
The gossip was as vague as it could be. Apparently, someone was caught sneaking out of their home once the darkness surrounds to meet the person their parents wouldn’t approve of. Of course, that someone wasn’t actually seen with such person, but that flaw didn’t mean anything to anyone. After all, the most controversial version was considered as the truth by the eyes and the ears of the village, regardless of what actually happened.
You and Joshua weren’t the only betrothal in the village at this time. However, undoubtedly, for a reason you couldn’t fathom, your engagement seemed to be the most popular one. (Popular for people to try and stick their noses into, that was.)
And, albeit the rumor didn’t exactly specify which of you and Joshua was ‘caught,’ you had a pretty good faith that it was you.
"I need to tell you something," you and Suho both uttered at the same time. "You can go first."
"I insist, my love." You hurried added, unwilling to break the news to him right away. "You should go first."
When you agreed to Suho’s proposal the first night you met, you weren’t really aware of what it fully entailed. You merely wanted to love in your own accord, and to feel loved in return — without the pressure of needing to, just because you were set to spend the rest of your lives together.
Truthfully, you didn’t know what romantic love was back then — as your parents were also arranged and merely treated each other with respect. You were only exposed to their dynamic as occasionally playful partners-in-crime, which lack any romance despite its happy exterior. It was a curious thing you even dreamed of any romance at all, but you did and you ran with it — insisting that your marriage would have romantic love in it, even if one-sided.
Never did you expect that a taste of romance would be this addicting. Nor did you expect to grow attached to the person that introduced such feeling to you — to the point that you were reluctant to let them go, despite knowing right from the beginning how temporary your arrangement was.
"Night, did you hear?" Suho voice was as soft and loving as ever, even if he was obviously trying to get your attention. "The rumor going around the village?"
"I apologize, I got lost in my thoughts for a moment," you expressed your sorry first. "But, yes, I have. What of it?"
You wanted to applaud yourself for successfully sounding so unaffected by the mention of the gossip. Especially when, in truth, it actually triggered an alarm inside your head. Why was he—
"I think I’m the person the rumor is referring to," he confessed. "Thus, for your sake, we must conclude our arrangement tonight."
To say that you were stunned would be an understatement. In a moment of insanity, you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing.
Then you realized what the sequence of events must’ve looked in Suho’s perspective. "I’m not laughing at you, please don’t misunderstand," you started to clarify. "Rather, I just find it amusing how we came to the same conclusion after hearing such rumor."
He made a sound of understanding and let it hung in the air for a moment, before he broke the silence once more. "So, you agree . . . tonight is all we have left?"
"As much as it pains me, the risk of getting caught grows exponentially with each night." The sadness was now notable in your voice. There was no point of masking it now, after all, not when the inevitable truth had been addressed. "At least we still have tonight."
"We still have tonight," Suho echoed in agreement.
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No one was willing to separate from the other when the usual time to depart came. You both kept on finding ways to prolong the night and delay your inevitable separation.
But, alas. No matter how many new conversation topics either of you brought up, the sun would still take the moon’s place at the same time it always did.
"Back then, we both agreed that it would be best if we don’t see the other’s face . . . to prevent any gossip from spreading." You started your last attempt, right when you noticed that the darkness that surround was slowly getting lighter. "But—"
"—But one spread, anyway," Suho finished for you.
"Right," you immediately agreed. "Since it came down to that, anyway, I wish— I wish to express my gratitude directly to you, rather than letting the moon convey my heart."
"You want us to reveal our identities?"
"Only if you’re comfortable with it, of course."
Suho thought for a fleeting second, as though he didn’t actually thought about it at all. "I’m not opposed to you seeing my handsome face. I supposed it’s about time."
You chuckled, "Whatever you say."
You heard him chuckle along. "Shall we close our eyes, face each other, then open them?"
"Sure, let’s do that."
You silently thanked the moon for everything she had done for you so far. You thanked her for sending Joshua, the gentleman that he is. You might not love him yet, but you certainly care for him to an extent. He not might be your first choice for a husband, but you could tell he would make a fine one — which, considering your circumstances, was all you could really hope for. Then of course, you thanked the moon for sending Suho. Your shadow and, simultaneously, the light of your life. The person that taught you how to love and how to feel loved.
"On the count on three . . ."
You sent a quick prayer to the moon, hoping that she would grant it graciously like she did that faithful night when you met Suho.
One . . .
You prayed that she send Suho a betrothed that is similar to how Joshua is to you. Someone that he can love easily. Someone that can make him happy. Someone that can reciprocate his affections and surpass them in time, as he deserves.
Two . . .
You wished that she send Suho his perfect match. Above all else, you just wanted him to live the happiest life he can possibly have — content and with no regrets. For everything he had done for you, you figured he deserved at least that much.
Three . . .
You fluttered your eyes open.
And, just as quick did your eyes adjust to the light of the stars, did they mimic planets after finally gazing upon Suho’s face.
"Jo— Josh . . . ?"
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Much later, another gossip had the village talking once more. Apparently, the person who had been seen sneaking out in the middle of the night had finally been identified. Much to the gossip gallery’s dismay, though, he wasn’t actually meeting anyone in secret. Rather, he was merely using the night as a cover to secretly eat from another family’s mango tree.
It certainly was an interesting turn of events.
However, no one had the most peculiar reaction to the revelation than you and your husband, Joshua.
As it turned out, the man in the gossip was actually one of Joshua’s closest friends. Thus, more than one year after your wedding, you both asked that particular friend to be your first child’s godfather.
You both took the liberty not to fill anyone in about the significance of your decision. For you, it was enough that you were honoring his indirect assistance in the flow of your love story in such a sacred way — regardless of his obliviousness to the real reason.
Neither of you could even begin to think how you two would’ve turned out had he not been routinely seen leaving his house around midnight. You two would still get married, of course, but there would definitely be an unspoken longing attached to each of your hearts — both yearning for someone that would literally be just in front of them.
"My love," your husband appeared by the front door of your home, a folded blanket on one hand. "Aren’t you cold?" He then joined you by the front porch, without waiting for an invite.
You draped the blanket on both of your shoulders, sharing its warmth to Joshua. "Just a bit." Like what you’ve often done, your head found its way to his shoulder. And, likewise, his hand found your hip. "Did I wake you?"
"No, the bed just felt colder." Although you have been used to the sweetness of his words even before your marriage, they still never fail to make your heart flutter. "Is something bothering you? Is our Hyewol okay?"
"I think she’s asleep right now, I haven’t felt her move since you told her good night." Your reply didn’t directly address his concerns, but you knew it was enough. "I just couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decided to get some fresh air for a bit."
"Shall I warm up some milk?"
"No, that’s okay. Just stay here with me." You snuggled closer as an attempt to keep him next to you. A comfortable silence followed suit, with you and your husband just looking up to the star-filled night sky. "Suho?"
Calling him by his pseudonym was a difficult habit to get rid of. Especially whenever you two are stargazing, which was something you often did as Suho and Night. "What are you thinking about?" Nowadays, it had become a term of endearment — almost synonymous to ‘my love’ that he insisted on calling you.
"Was our spot your hideaway place, before I came in the picture?"
"No," Joshua responded almost instantly, "that night was the first time I went there." He then added as an afterthought, "Thinking back on it now, I’m not quite sure how I even found you. Our spot is well-hidden."
"Then why—?"
"I don’t know," he didn’t even let you finish your question — already knowing what your follow up inquiry would be without hearing it being asked. "My feet just . . . led me there, I suppose.
"I’ve always thought it was the universe’s doing. Almost like I was meant to be there that night, to meet you."
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