#homeofthevan

[raccoonpatriotism]

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Random, Useless Headcanons | Accepting

i like how i keep labeling this meme as “accepting” when i have…. 260 of these right here.

1: Has he driven a car before? Yes. Should he be allowed to keep driving? No.

2: You know that “I’m washing me and my clothes!” vine? That’s Jane. It’s efficient.

3: If you gave him Cat Food he’d say it’s the best thing he’d ever tasted.

4: Before going to Poland to serve his time, he hired a sex worker. Her touch would be the last non-violent physical contact he would feel for the next 9 or so years.

5: 

6: He donates a healthy sum of his paychecks to wild animal and veteran charities. 

7: Jane’s ‘friendship’ with Merasmus is the longest relationship he’s ever held.

8: Jane doesn’t believe in the number 8.

9: He doesn’t have any titty mags, but he does have tasteful pin-up for the inside of his locker.

10: He’s an excellent swimmer - but will sometimes forget to hold his breath. 

11: Getting Jane to imprint on you like a baby bird is really easy. Be strong, be patriotic, be funny, be determined. 

12: He trusts everything he’s told from someone he views as a friend.

13: He’s been on BLU before - it was brief.., a WAR! got started and ended. A few years went by and he was balanced to RED

14: Continuation of 13, it was… very easy to get him to believe he was always on RED team.

15: He loves fighting robots - but nothing compares to the feeling of a neck snapping in his hands.

16: He taught himself how to use every weapon he came across in Poland - it took a few years before he ran into a rocket launcher…. His life was changed from that moment onward.

17: His knowledge of the US military comes from tv and stories from veteran home he was forced to work at through his older years at the orphanage. (Outdated or complete bullshit.)

18: The liveliness of America is just one of the innumerable reasons he loves the country. Even things he hates (like.. war protesters/hippies) have this determination in them that makes him proud.

19: He’ll pick ear wax out of his ear, sniff it, grimace, and happily hold the finger out to somebody near him.

20: He only wants the best for you.

21: Getting him to realize he’s actually ended civilian’s lives is a conversation that would take over an hour. His brain has the wildest, irrationally rational excuses ever. (”Officer Miss Pauling, what I am about to say will SHOCK you; I was framed” will never make me not lose my mind. ilove him)

22: His moral compass is, admittedly, terrible, but he genuinely wants the best for people in the world.

23: Helping people, serving his country, that’s his goal. That all he wants out of life. He’s a cog in the machine of war and he loves it.

24: Consequences don’t exist in Jane’s world.

25: He’s so fucking bisexual. This headcanon is not useless at all.

26: Jane snores like a chainsaw - and will then be absolutely silent for spaces of minutes.

27: He never covers his face when he sneezes.

28: He’s very touchy feely - A way to make up for what he so clearly craves.

29: But god this man wants to be touched.

30: As much as Jane holds back on admitting to weakness, he’s also just a genuinely honest guy so simple prodding usually gets him to spill.

31: Jane has never purposefully manipulated someone in his life.

32: He’s only ever seen one movie. Well, more like registered he always zones out at some point. Sometimes starting the movie in a day dream and zoning back in to catch the ending. The movie he’s fully seen was watched through 3 separate sessions.

33: War films, what he does catch, always make him cry.

34: With everyone he meets; Jane immediately thinks of two things. How to kill them. And what to say when holding their guts into their dying corpse and crying to the sky.

35: He has no idea he’s beautiful.

36: Jane doesn’t have a self-effacing bone in his body.

37: He chews with his mouth open, and speaks with his mouth full. He’ll also snap at someone else to stop talking with their mouth full, it’s disrespectful.

38: Jane had a dream where he beat Communism and thought it was true for a whole year.

39: He’s not dumb on purpose. He has nothing to gain by making people think he’s an idiot, as far as he’s concerned. He acts like himself 24/7

40: Jane invented that song Fifty Nifty United States song that’s song in elementary schools.

41: You know those kiddie leashes? You could put one of those on Jane and he wouldn’t be, like, “Okay.” Try and run off and be like “What contraption is holding me here?!?!?!”

42: The answer to life, the universe, and everything is American Apple Pie

43: i just realized im gonna get to answer a headcanon 69 and got excited. UHH jane likes the color red.

44: Jane likes the color blue.

45: Jane likes the color white.

46: Jane loves all skin colors, anybody can be American.

47: Has he retained any American history? Haha. Ha. No.

48: Jane was taken out of elementary school for bad behavior, lack of attention, and general ruckus.

49: His orphanage never tried to send him back to any schooling. 

50: Jane was born July 4th, he doesn’t know that, despite claiming it.

51: He’s not an amnesiac - he’s never had a strong sense for long-term memories. 

52: God, he loves bread.

53: And also he loves taking everything Engineer says literally. He’s such a wise American.

54: Jane would absolute trollface and say “Problem?”

55: He would never say a slur.

56: Jane does not use fuck as a curse ever. He’ll say it, but like, to mean, y’know.

57: He’s a follower, don’t tell him that. He’ll get offended. 

58: Jane is convinced the President is the most powerful being in the world, and is also granted special powers.

59: Jane is progressive, baybee. He thinks dogs should vote!!

60: UNLESS IT HAS TO DO WITH WAR. Then he’s, like, a total bootlicker.

61: He’ll beat up racists in bars.

62: Jane really came alive during Grey Mann’s first robot attacks - for the second time he felt like he was protecting America and not some Very Important American Gravel. 

63: If Jane ever got sentenced to prison, he’d just serve his time.

64: He has Lawyer Powers given to him by magic, and he is not afraid to use them.

65: Besides Scout, he has represented himself, Lt. Bites, and the state of Tennessee in court.

66: He was a bad roommate, he genuinely thought Merasmus was an even worse roommate. 

67: Extreme Cold is a surefire way to trigger his PTSD. He doesn’t act all that different verbally, but he becomes entire still. Not even moving to shiver. It’s like he automatically transfers to late stage hypothermia.

68: Jane may have never played baseball, but he’s briefly been on a bowling team.

69: ayyyyy. Jane always returns the favor, if ya know what i mean.

70: I can’t tell you how much he can lift because I know nothing about fitness, but it’s a lot. And it’s impressive. 

71: Jane practices unsafe workout routines! It’s a miracle lifting without a spotter hasn’t killed him yet.

72: He makes up for his genuine stupidity with Pure Luck.

73: He’ll kill, he’ll maim, but he won’t assault. 

74: Jane’s favorite chocolate is Hershey’s.

75: He’s convinced Milton Hershey, founder of Hershey’s Chocolate, was a President despite him being alive in Jane’s lifetime.

76: Jane isn’t afraid of gay thoughts, never payed attention to period typical homophobia going on around him therefor never got a chance to develop it.

77: Jane would totally be the type of guy to see one of those Fireman Calendars and zone out staring at some dudes pecs and someone asks him if he’s okay and he’s like “I’m ogay.”

78: It’s a miracle, the first time Jane rocket jumped, his legs weren’t blown off. He was injured from the fall, surprised he’d gotten air at all. It was an accident and, while he’d never go to recreate it during his time in Poland, when he’d gotten hooked up to respawn and he saw all the high perches, the trick reoccured to him.

79: He loved Tavish so much

80: He was born in Tennessee, although he grew up in Wisconsin.

81: He’ll make odd little sounds - aborted sentences, thoughts lost to the depths of his brain. You can point them out and he’ll have no idea what you’re talking about.

82: He could have a possum mixed in with his raccoons and think it’s a raccoon.

83: He takes his Ranger Job very seriously. Just as serious as he does all his jobs. (So, you know. Not… very.) He is very enthusiastic at least!

84: He’s not empathetic at all, however energies at Large in a room really affect him. Chances are, if everyone’s in good favor, he’ll be really happy and relaxed - even if previously grumpy.

85: Jane can be really grumpy, that’s when his drill sergeant personality shines through - more often than not, he’s just a good natured loud patriot rolling with the punches of life.

86: He believes in the Judeo-Christian God, but also… believes the president is stronger than God? Sometimes? Depends on the situation. What is blasphemy haha?!?

87: Jane always wanted a puppy - meeting Bites, future Lieutenant, was like a dream come true to him.

88: Plus, he’d always liked raccoons - often responsible for tipping over dumpsters at his orphanage to help the little critters.

89: Jane can and will eat out of the garbage if not stopped.

90: He’s very passionate and strict about what he knows are fact (the issue is, facts can change pretty easily in jane’s head.

91: Good thing he has a helmet because Jane’s puppy-dog eyes are the sort that are clearly un-practiced and unintentional and thus made all the more soul-wrenching. 

92: He’s always surprised by doorbells.

93: Jane would never smoke weed of his own volition, but under the influence, everything would make So Much Sense to him.

94: I’m talking the wildest stoner sayings, that always are so structurally sound it’s scary.

95: This man loves cashews.

96: “Mm crunchy things.. good.” - Shared thought by Jane and Lt. Bites.

97: Lt. Bites likes to curl up on Jane’s stomach when he’s sleeping. Jane often wakes up with his face covered in scratches and fur in his mouth. Much like the Soldier, the Lieutenant isn’t quite a sound sleeper.

98: Fuck, like, he loves cashews so much? The texture is amazing.

99: Jane has no illegitimate or legitimate children.

100: Jane loves his team almost as much as he loves America.

101: IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR scroll back up and read everything, LOSER otherwise… wow………you love soldier. me too…… 

CONTINUED HERE

#homeofthevan #patriotic answers #patriotic headcanons #100 headcanons so far....... #to be continued tomorrow......... #vanyel is absolutely ridiculous blame them and also love them

[discordantmadness]

homeofthevan replied to your post:  

Jeff doesn’t know dubstep that well. Legion would introduce him to it, not the other way round (oilsandbeer)

You’re right. The minute Jeff entered the Lodge to do their mural, they blasted some fucking wubz so hard that Jeff nearly went deaf.

#homeofthevan #oilsandbeer #[c] I'm jk of course but IMAGINE #☒anarchy reigns (crack)

[bladebearer]

HC - Forgiveness

-- Joey has always believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt, in forgiving those when they act out in moments of high emotion or lack of knowledge. He’s more than content to forgive someone who’s made a mistake, to forgive someone who apologises for what they have done.

However, Joey is an impulsive teenager. While forgiveness can come easy, sometimes it doesn’t come at all.

In some situations, Joey finds that teaching others a lesson over giving forgiveness is more meaningful. A sharp blade to a new set of tires, a fist to an unbroken nose....a knife into the back of a meddling survivor in the middle of a frenzy. It’s hard to tell which Joey will choose in the moment, it’s a very fine line.

#homofthevan #[cleaning the blade] #[hc] #homeofthevan

[zhartha]

💕 from laste54,,,,,,,,i swear i'll get to replies soon but,,,,,

love calculator || accepting

”How fickle this love tester seems to be … my dearest Bastion, know you are a treasure to my heart.” 

#homeofthevan #me whose reblogged asks to avoid doing drafts: haha #( spend your days without confusion. ) ▍ answered

[tnthclass-moved-blog]

📂

Echo is virtually nonexistent to the government. She has no paper trails, no birth certificate, social security, nothing. This makes her extremely hard to track, aside from word of mouth, which is usually how Echo tended to get hired before as a freelancer.

@homeofthevan & @thatneverwas + prompt.

#homeofthevan #ʀᴇᴅ. ╱ inbox. #ʀᴇᴅ. ╱ headcanon. #ʀᴇᴅ. ╱ ooc.

[staboteur]

are there any tropes that pull you in or that you realise are reoccuring in your muses?

My Taste Is Impeccable (accepting)

//don’t make me call myself out like this

//dark hair, blue eyes (maybe green), smug, sarcastic, smug, pale, sarcastic, sneaky, conniving, old souls, blue gay. René, Art.emis Fow.l, R.K900, there’s probably more like… ton.y st.ark…?

//blonde hair, green eyes (maybe blue), big smile, :] or :>, buff, soft, good, blessed, total angels, red gay Will, Capt.ain America, App.lejack (don’t fucking judge me i drew a really really cute human version of her), Engie, there’s… probably more

//so uhhhhhhhhhhh tbh though i don’t have enough muses to get a solid trend. It’s more like a “favorite characters” trend. Not enough in each category to even get 3 to make a pattern unless i count my favorite characters

#{ ooc | out of cloaking } #//hgajkfhlsdj don't call me out like this fuck #//im only into two (2) tropes #//there's a couple that don't fit the mold #//the other one is 'east asiantm' #//so likke ap.h china pretty much all my sonas lmao #//oh and mi.nho! babe! hes blessed #//but yeah that's pretty much it #homeofthevan

[wiire-moved]

Bay Wreath and Clove?

(PLANT/FLOWER SYMBOLISM ASKS - open)

Bay Wreath - What is your muse’s proudest moment/accomplishment?

Dell’s done a lot in his life that he’s proud of, from his education all the way from down to how he’s changed since he was a child. However, the achievement that sticks out most in his mind is finally deciphering his grandfather’s blueprints and building a sentry. Now, it wasn’t entirely just that he just built the sentry that he was proud of, but the fact that he could understand what went through Radigan Conagher’s mind and was even able to improve his design, a step toward earning the level of expertise he’d like to achieve. 

Clove - Does your muse believe it’s possible for love to endure all hardships?

Love isn’t a thing that Dell is very familiar with. He’s never quite had the love of any parents and simply hasn’t found or bothered with romantic love beyond his high school and perhaps early college years. Based off of how his parents divorced when he was young, he doesn’t think so. After all, if even his sweet mother didn’t have faith in his father anymore and up and left them, how could it? He doesn’t hold a grudge for it, figuring that everything falls apart eventually. Still, he doesn’t know for sure.

#homeofthevan #ask #headcanons

[fromtheshadcws-moved]

42. How do they feel about astrology?

“It’s bullshit. Anything people say is ‘written in the stars’? It’s just an excuse, or bullshit, or both. Have you ever read a horoscope?”

#well then #what are you looking at? [asks] #homeofthevan

[raccoonpatriotism]

6_____________________________________

06. — wings

In he fuzzier parts of Jane Doe’s life, he was a boy who lived carelessly with his head in the clouds. Free, untethered. He was happy to spend his days in the atmosphere of his imagination. But, everyone around him would always tug at him, doing their best to pull Jane towards the ground, bring him back to Earth. It wasn’t his world, and they were making it clear he wasn’t welcome in their world. 

And he would grow older and stronger, become desperate for purpose - his imagination would full to the brim with responsibilities. To his country, to his people, to his dreams. Still high enough in the sky to be tugged down, down. Not fit for service. 

He’d show them. Jane was never meant to fit in some pre-disposed box. His feet were never firmly planted in the soil. It was his duty to lift himself out of the trenches, to spread his wings and return to where he has always belonged. Head in the clouds, lifted carelessly by rocket after rocket. 

#ic patriotism #patriotic headcanon #homeofthevan

[outlawshootist]

homeofthevan replied to your post: || When all you want to do is pip down out of...

you got object of obsession? that’s how to get tunneled into oblivion

|| I dunno if that’s one I have yet. I have no mither though, could probably run David around for a while with it and just suck ass ||

#homeofthevan #Hang Up Your Hat (OOC) #OOC #Out of Character

[shotfreed]

Note (for jack, or 76)

Last Letters // @vis0ractivated - @homeofthevan​ (accepting)

[ for 76 ]

Just out to the nearby town to restock on supplies. You don’t sleep much so I thought I’d leave you to it. Be proud if I can actually slip outta here without waking you. Be back soon.

love you,- Jes

Jesse’s body lay in a pool of blood less than an hour later. He was ambushed on his way into town, the bounty on his head just a bit too enticing for the locals to pass up. But he hadn’t gone down easily or quietly. The only would be hunter to walk away was more crawling than anything else. One stray bullet. That’s all it’d taken. Jesse McCree, despite all his victories and close calls, was dead. 

#vis0ractivated #homeofthevan #THIS TOOK SO LONG BC I WASNT SURE WHAT I WANTED TO WRITE BUT UH

[calmspirited]

hc - rain

He loves it. Sprinkle, downpour, he loves it all. He’ll dance barefoot in the rain because he loves it so much. Licc the rain. Slurp slurp.

#{ whispered offerings } answered asks #homeofthevan-a

[sweetirishmedicine]

🍁

🍁 - favorite season?

“Oh, Autumn. Love it when it get’s cooler an’ it starts rainin’ more. Good crisp touch to th’ air... Wull.. no’ here.. but.. y’know.”

#ic #ask #homeofthevan

[metal-sparrow-archives]

🥕

Munday fruits and veggies edition

🥕 - What do you think about the current theme trends? 

// Writing themes or blog layouts “themes”? Or something else..? D:

On writing - I like all the warm, fluffy Christmas stuff. I’m not fond of vampires though and I don’t understand why it is suddenly so popular. Also whole sind.ay thing is bit tiring from my point of view. Still I’m thankful that people I follow tag properly their ns.fw.

For the blogs... Stong trend is very small window with posts in it, blending with a background, tiny font and hard to find fancy links. Please no. That’s hard to read and tiring to decipher.

#munday #ooc #thank you for the ask <3 #homeofthevan

[gcmeover]

Crowds and Fire?

Fear Themed Headcanons [ ACCEPTING ]

Crowds: What does your muse think of big cities?

Amanda has no problem with big cities as a matter of fact it’s all she’s really ever known. She grew up in New York and really never left the state nor the country in her short life so it never occurred to her how different it may be outside of. However, that doesn’t mean she cares much for it. She knows how the city she grew up in works, she used to know the alleys, which gangs to look out for, who not to screw with. She used to be pretty well versed in the neighborhood but times changed, she changed. She always hated that she couldn’t just explore, there was always a bigger fish and at the time, that was enough to keep her from trying to. 

Fire: Would your muse rather be very cold, or very hot?

Amanda would prefer the cold, mostly because she’s used to it. From snow to the freezer at the meat packing facility, she just likes the cold. Its peaceful and it reminds everyone of the holidays, but that’s not really why she likes it. She doesn’t like peace and she hates the holidays, but she likes when the temperature drops. A lot less people around, the sound it makes when you walk through the snow is pleasing.

#HC tbt #homeofthevan

[dragxnfall]

O.........owo~¿

Drop a “owo” in my inbox for something I like about you

I didn’t have a good start here in the OWRPC, but you were one of the first people to welcome me here and are still here till this day and I appreciate it so much

#homeofthevan #⇢ what do we have here? {asks; answered}