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athicfa · 3 years

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Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #4 Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #5 Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #155 Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #156 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #329 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #330 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #331 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #335 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #337 Marvel Comics Presents Vol 1 #57 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #341 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #342 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #343 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #346 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #347

Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #4

Apparently, at least from reviews and comments I’ve seen online, Moon Knight fans generally hate this run so my expectations are low. I’m only here for Felicia anyway.

this issue exists solely so Felicia Hardy can serve us this look

Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #5

yeah that was awful

Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #155

Did they drop the “Peter Parker” tag from the title of this series? Looks like it.

I thought they ended the gang war several issues back? k then

Fe’s just a cameo and the rest of this issue is just Weird

Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #156

oh no have we entered demented redneck territory? dude I’m from Arkansas and this is one of my least favorite tropes EVER. The only acceptable version of the demented redneck trope is in RE7.

primitive existence??? because they live in log cabins and play the banjo??? man fuck you, writers, from the bottom of my primitive southern heart

dude they forgot her sleeve

“I know you Gov’ment men and yORE lies” yeah nvm that’s pretty accurate

If you want to know how to NOT write a southern accent, read this issue. It’s insulting. This isn’t even the south it’s PENNSYLVANIA WHAT ARE THEY DOING

This is bad ED rep too. As if they couldn’t make it worse.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #329

Tri-Sentinel? Oh this sounds like a bad idea.

MJ doing Queen shit as usual. Prepping for her “Secret Hospital” role. We stan.

AH so we’re in the West Coast Avengers era? Neat.

LOKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why do they write Loki with a cockney accent?

Captain Universe? WHAT IN THE HELL

And here she is, showing up at the end of the issue for a cliffhanger with Flash. Because they really have to make her as vindictive and hateable as they can.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #330

we start with the Punisher blowing up an ambulance with a rocket launcher so everything is guaranteed to go downhill from this point

Felicia shows up to dinner with Flash and Peter’s going feral but can’t explain to anyone WHY he’s going feral because secret identity and all that jazz

OH MY GOD THAT’S HOW THEY KILL OFF EDDIE? OR AM I BEING SCAMMED WITH A FAKE DEATH AGAIN??? WHAT???????

I love you Aunt May

they break the fourth wall a lot in this and it’s always them going “haha that’s what YOU think Peter but we’re obviously going to make everything worse for you and you should know better you cheeky bastard”

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #331

this is FUCKING AWFUL and I hate it so much

Felicia would NEVER put her hands on MJ like that. This is bullshit. Even if they’re trying to play her as a jealous ex, this is just STUPID. I hate everything about this story so much I’m about to have a fucking aneurysm istg.

oh so I was right Eddie’s fine he just faked his death

now some old lady just randomly slaps MJ WHAT??? second time she’s been physically assaulted in the same issue, and the third time in the past four issues I’ve read. WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they just really hate women I guess

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #335

this is from #332 and I’m not talking about it bc It’s not relevant to Felicia but I just wanna say that this page was pretty cool

Hobgoblin looks genuinely freaky now

Aunt May is precious and needs to be protected at all costs

Flash’s outfit is a fucking crime

mmm Sinister Six is reforming and I couldn’t care less. that was anticlimactic.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #337

oh no Nathan’s dead. Poor May.

once again Fe’s serving LOOKS while Flash is dressed like the embodiment of glitter in the 80′s

him standing up for her is nice and all but Felicia would have already been throwing hands and handing out free kick vasectomies

Marvel Comics Presents Vol 1 #57

she broke into Versaille and is sleeping in the king’s bedchamber which, y’know, is actually pretty in character so I’m not complaining

Fisk is after her. Again.

that’s it. cute little story. now back to the main event.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #341

aaaaaand they’re taking Peter’s powers away because they obviously hate him

Felicia looks good. Flash is a neon mess. As always. Guys she would never date a guy that dresses like this I’m sorry but it’s true

MAY YOU SLY DOG I SEE YOU FLIRTING

Felicia being genuinely nice and friendly to MJ, as they should have had it from the start.

Flash is being really sweet and all but dude I still just can’t see it happening between them. He’s too much of a “jock”, to put it as nicely as I can. I know they’re trying to make it turn into a genuine relationship between the two of them but it just. This does not work.

Peter (as Spidey) is in trouble without his powers so Flash and Felicia rush in to help him and MJ is worried about all of them, even Felicia, which was a sweet moment.

“I can’t break your heart if you’re dead” sure Felicia not like you actually just don’t want Peter to die or anything

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #342

they’ve promised me Felicia protecting Peter from the Scorpion this issue and they better give it to me or I might cry

Peter having to cope with not having his powers anymore is genuinely interesting but it’s hard to trust that they’ll do right by him based on how they ALWAYS do shit just to hurt him. And also having it be his choice is just??? Dude I doubt it. That doesn’t feel like a Peter Parker move AT ALL.

they keep having Felicia randomly refer to the Black Cat from a third person perspective and I hate it

she knows something’s wrong and she gets him to fess up to it

“Flash is a good guy and I wouldn’t never hurt him just to get back at you” REALLY MARVEL WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY AT, I DUNNO, THE BEGINNING OF THE ARC???

next day. Scorpion nabs Jameson. Felicia brings Peter’s Spidey suit to him, even though he’s powerless now. Nice that she still has faith in him but this is objectively a very bad decision from both of them.

Fe protecting Peter from Scorpion like they promised me??? FUCK YES

they’re letting her have a lot of nice moments in this fight I’m shocked they’re FINALLY showing her an ounce of respect

she kicked the shit out of Scorpion I LOVE it

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #343

Actually love the dynamic reversal right now. It’s like when Felicia had no powers, except it’s Peter in her shoes now. Still hate how we got here but at least I can enjoy it reading again. For the most part.

AH THERE’S THE FAMOUS PHYSICS-DEFYING PURPLE DRESS

no but seriously she went to borrow jeans from MJ and came back with THIS

more badass Felicia moments so I have been placated. For now.

Why did they draw her with claw feet in one panel though when she’s supposed to have normal boots on lmfaoooo

he fiddles with Dr. Turner’s device and gets his powers back right as Felicia’s getting overwhelmed.

“At least they didn’t break my nose” followed by a cute little cheek rub, as she DESERVES

oof she’s in bad shape

the machine took her powers away somehow so...okay

so she’s gonna quit being the Black Cat? BULLSHIT. She was the Black Cat before she had powers. It’s something she’s NEVER gonna be able to give up, just like Peter can’t quit being Spiderman.

At least Felicia, Peter, and MJ are all on good terms now which is more than I expected from this awful arc.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #346

VENOM

she wants to come help Peter so I guess she’s NOT giving up the Black Cat completely like they said? Which...okay. But he won’t let her come help anyway because he knows she’ll get trashed by Venom.

Venom feels like a real threat which is great because most of the villain set-ups leading up to this have been lame af

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #347

Venom in the background of this is hella creepy

Felicia and Flash are fighting bc she’s worried sick about Peter and pissed she can’t do anything, so she’s lashing out and refusing to go to some stupid concert with him. And then immediately changes her mind because what is consistency in a character am I right, Marvel?

May and Willie are cute

He had to fake his death to get Venom off his back and you know...I think I kind of like it. It was an unusual finish to a story but it does a good job at painting Venom as an unstoppable force, which will make his eventual defeat way more rewarding than most of the one-and-done villains that show up, get their asses kicked, and then disappear for thirty issues.

#long post tw #[comic commentary]#may or may not read more tonight we'll see

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littlemisskookie · 5 years

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Loveless: Chapter 1

Loveless: Index Ship: Reader | OT7 Description: Spy/Men in Black!AU | You worked at an institution that dealt with aliens- aliens that were the fictional creatures we were told were from fairy tales. The job entailed love only for it, and nothing else. That’d all change when a mission goes wrong. Warnings: Future Smut, Mentioned Smut, Gore, Violence, Death, Sexual Tension, Bad Comedy Word Count: 6,348

Let's get one thing absolutely clear: aliens are real and they walk among the Earth.

They have for eons, really, swooping down on our little planet to play a visit or reside temporarily, typically hiding in plain sight or beneath humans' noses. The times they were discovered, though, alluded to a lot of ancient folklore and paranormal sightings.

Vampires? Aliens. Sensitive to sunlight and needing blood to sustain themselves, they went to Earth, a small clan that wreaked enough havoc to start a horrible movie franchise centuries later.

Ghosts were more common, mainly harmless save for the small group of "poltergeists". In reality, they were aliens from a planet that had become destroyed, resulting in their migration to your planet. Humans tended to latch the familiar onto them once they were sighted, confusing them with their own dead and such, or even creating mysteries surrounding them.

Loch Ness monster? A true monster that had been dumped from its home planet to Earth.

Demons? They originated from a fiery hellspawn of a planet, led by their leader Lucifer to your planet. Because of their horrifying appearance and deadly habits, they earned a bit of a bad rep, becoming intertwined with stories of religion. They were perhaps the most asshole of the immigrant aliens on Earth.

Fairies? One of the more diverse races, from pixies to dwarves, they had as many different races as humans did. Gnomes, banshees, leprechauns, brownies, hobgoblins, gnomes, and more. Some dwindled over time, however, due to natural selection.

There were some beasts that were raised in the wild or as pets by the aliens, from dragons, griffins, unicorns, pegasi, and more. The dragons were the hardest to tame, though, as they were the wildest by nature. That is why they are shown in both Asian and medieval European culture.

Mermaids were from the same planet as the Loch Ness monster, the great drought of 1488 BC bringing them to Earth. It was perfect, seeing as 3/4ths of it was covered in water, soon to be more with the rate of global warming.

Werewolves were one of the few that could attempt to live among humans, their appearance far closer save for the full moon. Some speculated that the reason for this was because the more human of their kind decided to mate with the dog-like beasts of their planet, and for them their genitalia was compatible.

There were far more where that came from, many continuing to flow in even now. They couldn't reside in the public with humans, however. Throughout history, there had been one thing that humans kept consistent: ignorance. If they couldn't even accept their own species for the color of their skin or their own preferences, how could one expect them to accept the foreign that lived amongst them?

And so there was one section that dealt in that aspect of Earth. A secret international organization that dealt with the affairs of humans and aliens alike, monitoring the immigration and crime and whatnot. Manage, monitor, and hide. That was the profession of the EAA- Extraterrestrial Affiliation Agency.

Where you happened to work, as it turned out.

They recruit only the most talented, lethal, and brilliant of agents to join the agency. Those who have exemplified skills that could bring them above and beyond, spies that could trick and fight anyone and anything, no matter how many arms. So prestigious, in fact, that there were never more than 26 agents at a time. From the ones filling the places managing to stay alive or those dying out quickly. They only accepted the best of the best, but sometimes even they found their betters.

They also only accepted those truly willing to commit. This meant no personal lives outside of the agency. All men were expected to get vasectomies, and women to get their tubes tied. Children were a distraction. No serious relationships inside or outside of the agency, though flings could be allowed. Should one even consider the possibility of love with someone or break the rule, they'd be invited out of the agency with their memories wiped. Relationships were a distraction. One must even fake their death to their family and friends, forbidden from having contact with them. They were a distraction. Love was a distraction.

Everyone within the agency was young. Young enough where they wouldn't be able to miss anything once they abandon their lives. Young enough to want to join a special task force that would make them feel at the top of the world, almighty and all powerful. In their physical and mental prime. No one had to worry about growing out of the job, either. That was fine, though. Another condition was to be willing to die for one's planet no matter what.

You yourself were Agent Q, your code name out of the alphabet. You specialized in the more so spy aspects of the jobs, remaining invisible and acting deceitfully in order to obtain information. Cold and cunning, you had learned long ago that the true trick to being a spy was in the acting. You had learned how to skillfully slip into any persona or personality, up to the point where you forgot which one you really had.

You had caught the eye of the agency when you were far younger, just beginning adulthood. You were a master of deceit, getting into both the FBI and CIA, at some point even forging a British identity to get into MI5.

All of it was considered training, however, when you were recruited for the EAA. Government agencies certainly had a thing for three digit acronyms. You were certainly one of the top agents, if not the top, excelling in each area applicable. Not to brag, but you had saved the world perhaps half a dozen times, whether it was Incubi who were attempting to seduce the leaders of the world to their every whim in an attempt to rule Earth or a group of yeti who were trying to escape Anartica by hijacking one of the traveling planes and causing a rampage in New Zealand. That was one of the many reasons why no one was allowed to fly over the South Pole, per international law.

You remembered your first few weeks as an agent, your mentor being none other than one Kim Namjoon, otherwise known as Agent B. At the time he was on the cusp of celebration, finally arranging a treaty between the zombies and satyrs, two species that had disgusted each other since the beginning of time. Pesky creatures.

Namjoon specialized in the more analytical parts of the job. He could see through anyone's lie with a mere glance. He easily had one of the highest IQs within the agency, which was saying a lot for an agency of your caliber. No one was by any means average in any area. Except for dick size- you knew personally. Namjoon was one who could do the math on the likelihood of immediate death within a second, and every prediction and calculation he had made turned out true. A god's death? Correct. The following plans for a pact of golems planning to invade Hong Kong? Easy. Which species humans could strike a reasonable deal with, perhaps reaping the benefits of their resources? Done. It was even said that he once outsmarted Death himself, though it was really an alien that originated the legend of the Grim Reaper.

He was a good mentor, letting you see how to settle or work around conflict without using trickery or fists. He had opened your eyes to endless possibilities of dealing with people and aliens, even tutoring you on each and every species known to man. Their tells, their weaknesses, their history. One must learn from the past in order to move on in the future. At least that's what the poster in his office claimed. Despite the fact he was barely older than you he seemed to be eons older in wisdom and smarts. You got to learn early on in the missions where you shadowed him.

Even after you excelled past the point of tutoring, you'd spend time with him, knowing each conversation would bring about new information. You still teased him on your first interaction, reflecting back on it in comparison to your well established and current friendship.

The head of the board had brought you down to the main facility, and you were too busy looking around at the creatures you had thought before to only be mythology to notice the handsome man before you.

"Agent B, this is our newest recruit, Agent Q. I expect you to train her until you feel that she is good enough to operate on her own. As a senior agent, I trust you'll train her well. She's excelled in physical combat and the arts of personas, but I'd like for you to specialize on the teachings of the different species as well as alternative routes such as negotiation tactics. Sprinkle in a bit of economy while you're at it."

Namjoon studied you for a minute. "She looks a bit soft for an agent."

You fumed inside but did your best to keep your composure. Still, you couldn't help but quip. "Would that make you hard in comparison? I'm certainly flattered, Agent B, but I would insist that you take me to dinner first."

The head of the board showed no reaction, instead turning away. "I'll leave you two to it."

You were left alone staring at your tutor, the man showing no reaction to your quip. Instead, he simply smirks, as though amused rather than offended. "Sense of humor, huh? Let's just hope that doesn't die along with everything else around here."

He begins walking, and you trail after him, right on his tail. "You're not that much older than me- how is it that you're already a senior agent?"

He laughed at that, dry rather than finding it humorous. "Agent Q, around here 30 is considered old enough to retire. Ancient, even."

"Well you know the saying," you sighed, "'I'm here for a good time, not a long time.'"

Namjoon's laugh was outright that time, genuine and boisterous, the smile reaching his eyes. He looks at you with a sincere amount of newfound fondness, patting your head jokingly, ruffling your hair in the process. "You're cute, you know that? Real cute. Smart mouth on you, too. Perhaps we need a bit of that around here."

"I told you before, Agent B, take me to dinner first before you try to get into my pants."

God, whenever you teased him about that he'd still get so flustered, leaving you with tears in your eyes and aching cheeks from smiling so much. Truth be told, you had a bit of a crush on Namjoon for the longest time. You never pursued it, however. You figured that through the training and tutoring he had seen you as nothing more than a little sister. Besides, flings were the most that were allowed, and you knew that if you were to sleep with Namjoon you'd fall. What was there not to admire? So you simply kept that bit of information to yourself, instead referring to him fondly as Agent Bitch whenever he said something to erupt butterflies in your stomach.

He wasn't the only one who had sent you in a daze, though. Perhaps it was the fact you couldn't interact with anyone outside of missions, which usually ended with them dead. Or maybe it was the fact that so many of the male agents around you happened to be extremely young and attractive, as hot as they were lethal.

Take Hoseok, for example, Agent A. (Agent Asshole when he was being a bit of a snippy prick.) He had been in the agency the longest. The way it had happened was quite amusing, too. One of the entrances to the base was disguised as an antique hat shop. A robot ran the place, an old lady by the name of Barbara.

She'd ask anyone the question who walked in, "What brings you to a tacky little hat shop like mine?"

The answers would vary, and anyone with the wrong answer would simply be treated as a regular customer, but the answer would be, "Because I like Howl's Moving Castle."

How was the EAA supposed to know that a little boy would say that?

And so a little boy, no more than ten, had gotten swept down to a base full of mythological creatures and men and women in black suits. Instead of wiping away his memories, however, the board saw an opportunity, in the young boy. He was an orphan, meaning no one would miss him. If they could train an agent from the age of ten, who knew how skilled they'd become? Perhaps he'd give way to more of his kind in the future.

And so in a sense, they adopted him into their agency, the boy donning a black suit similar to the adults around him, handling guns and speaking to species of all kinds. Years later and he was by far the most skilled agent in all of EAA, even set to inherit it in the future, acting as a future leader. This was the only life he knew. His specialization was in assassinating, desensitized to the screams and pleas of victims, alien or human, that he'd become a cold-blooded killer within a millisecond. Outside of the job, the boy was bright and bubbly, still rather childish in nature, though you suspected it was because of the childhood that was stolen from him. When you mentioned the cruelty of him being taken to a place like this at such a young age, practically groomed, he grew frustrated, angry with you and refusing to discuss the matter further. You respected his wishes, but you knew he had wondered what would've happened if he had simply said something else that day. Perhaps he'd be normal. He had every species' blood on his hands.

You remember the first time you had partnered with him. It was a straightforward kill mission. Make it clean, not sloppy. Hoseok's specialty. It had been for a political leader of the ogres, urging many to come out of hiding to live among humans, accepted or not. Whether or not his morals were correct, it wasn't something you could risk. The best way to resolve the question was to take him out, as negotiation wasn't an option. The ogre, 10 feet tall, was rather violent, killing the last two agents who had come to try to strike a deal.

You had known Hoseok for a while by now, though you had never seen him in action. You were so confused as to how this man could be a supposed killer, with the highest body count in the entire agency's history. He seemed to kind to be raised from childhood as a cold-blooded killer. He seemed to loud to be a spy, hiding in the shadows. He wasn't at all what you expected. You liked him a lot for this, truthfully, another silly crush. He was more light-hearted than the bastards that ran this place, and you couldn't wait for him to inherit the place. You couldn't imagine him being as cold as them.

That was before that day, however.

It was your first mission without Namjoon, your training just finishing. The board thought it'd be best to keep you with partners for now as you gained footing, perhaps learning more in the process. You were ecstatic that it would be Hoseok, doing a yell of glee once you were in private. You two had snuck into the bedchambers of the ogre, deep in a cave near the Pacific. You had snuck past the guards easily, quiet as you stayed in the corners, distracting them from their posts. It was easy, really. After Namjoon's lessons on each species, you had perfected each mating call to a T, so much so that you prided yourself in getting even a two-inch pixie to want to bone you. With the echoes of the cave, it was known that it'd take the ogres more than enough time to search for the mate in question.

You stood over his form, quiet, listening to his snores. You looked to Hoseok, his eyes trained on the ogre's chest rising up and down, the final breaths he'd be taking. "So should we wake him up? Give him one more chance-"

Hoseok didn't give you time to respond, pressing a specialized ray to the ogre's forehead and firing. The body lit up with electricity, bright blue as it convulsed and twitched, jerking wilding on the bed. You smelt burned and charred flesh, the ogre's body slowly darkening as Hoseok continued to fry him. Finally, it stopped, and you looked to Hoseok in horror, his eyes cold.

He simply held out his hand. "Dagger."

Ah, that's right. Ogre's still had to have at least one of their hearts cut out after being burned. With shaky hands you give him the dagger, frozen as you watch him plunge the knife into the corpse's chest without hesitation, expert cuts that let him carve the large organ out, almost as though he were scooping ice cream. The entire time he wore an indifferent expression, almost as though he were bored.

The color drained from your face. You knew everyone had this sort of side to them- cold. You should've known- even you did. You killed a few yourself, even back in the public government agencies. Then why did it shock you so much to see Hoseok's side? The same man who would do funny faces or dances in attempts to cheer you up after long drills? Who pinched your cheeks seeing the newest agent?

Hoseok held the heart for a minute, the organ still beating ever so slightly in his palm. He squeezed it as its insides gushed out, spilling onto the floor. You stepped back, letting him drain its contents, what was once someone's life.

He dropped it to the floor, grinding it with his foot as though to rub it in the dirt. "Alright, I suggest we leave now. Lord knows the ogres outside will be pissed seeing their boss dead, and sexually frustrated on top of that."

You say nothing, following him out, in the shadows. You can only stare at the back of your head, slowly processing what happened. It was only on the getaway boat that Hoseok seemed to sense something was off.

"Are you alright, Agent Q?" He seemed like himself again. Kind. Concerned. Caring. Human.

"I just... I was just surprised."

He furrowed his brows, confused. "I thought you knew that was how you kill an ogre? You've killed a few aliens with Agent B, I'd figure you'd expect stuff like that."

"I mean, I know but... I..." You bury your face in your hands. "God, it's so stupid. I feel like an idiot."

"What is it? You can tell me." He reaches forward to hold your face in his hands, but you flinch. He catches wind of it, his voice quiet. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! I just... God this sounds so dumb. It's because it's you," you whisper, feeling guilty that you're making him feel bad. "I know your history and your reputation, but I never could quite believe it, you know? Everyone here can be cold or desensitized, even I am at times. You're so happy and loud and lively I guess I just thought you were different."

"Oh." He's quiet at that, following your words. Processing them. "I'm still the same Hoseok, you know."

"Of course I know! Nothing can change that. I guess it subverted my expectations. You did nothing wrong, Hoseok, really. It was my fault for being naive and ignorant. I should've seen it coming. It's part of the job, after all. It was a kill mission and nothing more. You were just doing your job."

He nods slowly but says nothing. This time it's your turn to hold his face, making him stare you in the eye. "Hey," you say, "it means nothing to me, ok? I'm just still getting used to this job. It's not you, I swear."

He licks his lips slowly, hands coming up to yours. You can feel the ogre's blood on his fingers, still warm. You say nothing.

"I guess I never thought about it much before. I've been doing this since I was ten. I should've been more mindful of your reaction."

"Agent A, absolutely not!" You let your thumb caress his cheek. "We'll have to do a lot more of that. Best to get used to it now, right? You're still kind and caring and sweet. You're still my friend."

For the first time, you could swear you saw an agent begin to tear up. You were sure however that it was a trick of the light.

He squeezes your hands, letting his head hang low. "I'm your friend?"

"If you want to be," you smile. "You're still the Hoseok I and everyone else adores. I wouldn't have you any other way."

He looks up at you, and you swear his eyes are shinier than usual, glassy almost. "Thank you, Agent Q."

"Please, call me Y/N. Agent Q was my mother's name," you smirk, earning a hearty laugh from him.

After that mission you had grown closer, your following missions running far more smoothly. You communicated a lot better, but you always noticed how Hoseok would look to you before killing the target, as though asking for your permission. In response you'd always place your hand on his shoulder, a weak attempt to pour your support into him.

It wasn't long after that that Namjoon got his next trainee. A young man by the name of Taehyung, easily one of the most gorgeous men you've ever seen. Apparently, he had heard about your agency and had gone out searching for it. How he wasn't caught and had his memories wiped was beyond you, but as usual, the agency found usefulness out of those who came to them. It impressed them, which was saying something.

You had hopped into Namjoon's office, giddy at the news of his newest student. Admittedly you were a bit unprofessional, barging in to get an eyeful of the boy. "I hear Agent B's got a new apprentice!" you say. The boy had been here for three days, but you were shooed away by others who insisted you'd scare him off or intimidate him. Truth be told you were sure they'd think you'd want to jump his bones the second you saw him- and you couldn't deny it. The man was the definition of beauty. The moment your eyes landed on him you were stunned, eyes wide. "Holy shit."

Namjoon sighed, running a hand down his face. He knew this was inevitable. "Hello to you, too, Agent Q. I'd like to introduce you to Agent V, our newest recruit. Agent V this is the one I most previously trained, a major pain in the agency's ass."

"Oh please, Agent Bitch, he's more than welcome to call me Y/N." You smile at Agent V, his eyes trained on you, and truth be told you enjoyed the attention from the handsome man. "What made you want to pursue a place like this? Were you a huge Star Wars fan when you were younger or something?"

Taehyung smiled weakly at that, a rectangular smile you couldn't help but melt at. "I've been dreaming about this sort of thing my entire life. I was considering joining the CIA, but I came across the extraterrestrial, and long story short it led to you."

You laughed at that. "CIA's for pussies anyway. I should know. The pay isn't that good either. I specialize in identity and personas, essentially the best actor in this entire cult they call an agency."

"Oh, I specialize in weaponry," he says, taking your outreached hand to shake it.

"Weaponry?" You quirk a brow at that, looking to Namjoon.

"He can take a rock and a stone and make it a Sonic Blaster 5000. Kid's impressive."

"I'd think so, seeing as he's here." You turn to him, winking a bit as you give his hand a firm squeeze. "I look forward to working with you, Agent V. Maybe you can make me a few other kinds of weapons."

"He's not going to make you a vibrator, Agent Q. Now will you please annoy someone else?" he huffed, shooing you out.

"It was worth asking-" You didn't get much else out as he proceeded to slam the door in your face. That was fine, though. You ended up working with Taehyung on various missions and even heard from Namjoon about the young man's crush on you. You were flattered of course but never pursued the mutual attraction in fear that he'd fall for you in turn. You never let his tiny crush on you get in the way of friendship, dubbing him with the name of Agent Vagina on a mission to Greece, where you'd interact with many of the creatures from Greek Mythology (a subject you were thankful you passed back in school).

There were others, however, who were far more open about their attraction to you.

Take Agent C(unt) for example, AKA Kim Seokjin, specializer in medicine and healing.

You had to admit he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your life. You checked out his ass about as many times as he checked out yours, if not more. Even if it wasn't as round as a few other agents, you couldn't help but let your eyes wander whenever he picked something up.

However, Kim Seokjin had to be the cockiest bastard you knew. (Part of the reason you nicknamed him Cunt instead of Cock was to get under his nerves. He was so proud of how much he ate pussy anyway.)

He was hot and he knew it. It was rumored that he got a siren to fall for him, though you wouldn't be surprised if he spread that rumor himself. Some did speculate however that he had some siren blood in him- that or incubus. He was also the biggest flirt you knew, sexual jokes accompanying many of his annoying puns, and you'd never let him know, but you always did your best not to crack up hysterically. He might have the worst dad jokes ever, but you liked them nevertheless.

It was at some point during a mission of kidnapping a local succubus that he wouldn't shut up about letting you borrow her. All while she was tranquilized in the back of the agency's jet, for crying out loud!

"I mean I'm not sure if you swing that way, but I'm sure you can use a good lay, Agent Q," Jin smirked, knowing exactly how to tease you.

"Dear God, Jin, fuck you!" you say, though both of you knew you weren't angry in the slightest.

"You offering? I mean I'll take her place if that's what you want." He wiggled his brows for emphasis.

"Agent Cunt, last I checked you'd fuck anything that walked on two legs."

"Last I checked you walked on two legs."

"You've got to be kidding me," you say, shaking your head in disbelief.

"Come on, Y/N, you know you're attracted to me. Just look at my face!" He takes on hand off the wheel to blow an exaggerated kiss, which you catch and crush beneath your palm.

"As if." You roll your eyes. "Get over yourself, Jin."

"Or you could get under me."

"Ew! You're shameless, aren't you?"

"C'mon, we could do it in your office! Right on your desk! Facetime the bitchy Head of Board while we're at it," he jokes.

Truth be told you would've. Jin was right to say you were attracted to him, and you couldn't picture him as a relationship type. Honestly, the only reason you hadn't jumped his bones yet was to spite him for his arrogance.

There was one coworker who you had a tryst with. An agent by the name Park Jimin, code name Agent P. The man specialized in alien communications, fluent in every language known to man and above. He was one of the sweeter guys in the business, a soft personality everywhere but in bed. You were attracted to him of course- and who could blame you? He was gorgeous. Or maybe it was because you seemed to be attracted to every man in the agency. Nevertheless, it was after a work party, a celebration after winning a battle against the band of gorgons. You had lost five agents in the process, but your agency had to look on the bright side. It could've been more. No one could truly mourn their loss, so they chose to celebrate their achievements.

After all, rule #1. No distractions.

You and Jimin had gotten drunk, and truth be told it was far better than expected. You would've figured you'd given into Jin's flirting that night, but instead found yourself bent over your desk by a completely different man. No facetiming your boss, though, unfortunately.

It did make the mission right after a bit awkward, however, but the two of you agreed that you'd stay friends and eventually the awkwardness faded. Whenever you wanted Jimin to shut up when he was on one of his rants about a coworker, you'd simply tease him about the fact he came first. Worked every time, despite the fact that he made it up to you by eating his cum out of you.

You remember the most recent argument when the two of you were arguing over who'd get to convince Lucifer himself to go to a meeting with the agency. Neither of you wanted to do it.

"You speak every language! Maybe speaking in demon will make him a bit more pliant!" Usually you yourself would be up for the challenge, but there was a reason why Lucifer was never depicted wearing clothes. It was always weird for you to look up from his flaccid red willie just swinging about.

"What about you? You specialize in identity and personas- that means you're the best liar in the entire world! You do it!" He argued back.

"No way! One, I prefer to call it acting, not lying. Secondly, man to man would be better. Maybe you can communicate by doing the helicopter."

"You're insane! I don't think the wooshing of our dicks in the air is gonna convince him to come to the base and have the director and head of board chew him out for going over the quota of stolen souls."

"It's not like I know how to speak demon talk! I tried and failed. I only speak a little bit of gnome and parseltongue- neither of which he speaks."

"Parseltongue- are you shitting me woman?!" His eyes bugged out of his head.

"Big talk for a guy who blew his load first."

"I swear to god I'll have you cum enough times where you beg me to stop next time, just to get you to shut your trap about that."

"Oooh, Agent P, are you mentioning a next time?" You wiggled your brows, teasing him as his cheeks flushed red. "I'll have to check my calendar! Will this make us official fuck buddies?"

He groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Fine, I'll do it. Jesus Christ."

"Thanks, Jiminie! Just for that, I won't call you Agent Pussy for at least a week," you say, giving him a peck on the cheek out of gratitude.

"Whatever, Agent Quip. You're lucky I like you so much."

That's true. Everyone seemed to like you in the agency- save for a certain Min Yoongi. AKA Agent D(ick). He specialized in torture- an area of the field that you weren't exactly the keenest about.

You two wouldn't have the most friendly of bantering, a bit closer to bickering. He'd get frustrated with you when the two of you were torturing a target, trying to get information out of you. You were annoyed with him because he'd nap through important meetings and never seemed to be listening to anyone. The two of you were archenemies, but admittedly you worked well together.

"Agent Q, would you please look where you're putting that?" Yoongi grumbled, swatting your hands away to take the tool. "Makes me wonder how you made it in here in the first place."

You grimaced, staring at the target. The New Jersey Devil, tied down and carved into, refusing to spit about the whereabouts of its colleagues. "You're one to talk. All you do is nap in your office and during meetings. Your entire specialty is based on sadism."

"You're lucky you're not the one on this table, Agent Q, otherwise I'd have you broken within five minutes," he grumbled back.

"Why Agent Dick, is that a proposition for kinky sex?" you guffawed.

He snorted. "Keep dreaming, baby."

"Pet names now? Such a charmer," you continued, your voice laced in sarcasm as you ran your hand down his back, mainly trying to distract yourself from the scene in front of you. "I knew that mask of annoyance was to hide your attraction to me."

He stiffened, rolling your touch off him. "Rule number one, Agent Q."

"This isn't distracting you, is it?" You toyed a bit with his tie before leaving him alone, taking the tool in hand as you decide to stop bothering him. "Alright, I can handle this bit. I just need to get used to this."

"Be my guest," he says, watching you as you finish where he left off.

It isn't long before you feel his fingers thread up your hair, slender fingers running up your scalp in a smooth massage.

"Yoongi," you breathed, your voice soft.

"What is it?" You feel his hot breath hit your ear from his position behind you. "This isn't distracting you, is it?"

You stiffen as he gets about a fistful, and you anticipate the yank, but it never comes. He lets go, laughing at your tense form, frozen and awaiting his actions. "Figured you'd like a taste of your own medicine," he chuckled.

You shoved him, rolling your eyes. "You're such a dick."

"It is your nickname for me," he smirked, letting you continue your work until the New Jersey Devil began to squeal and kick. "I think it's ready to talk. Bring in Agent P."

It had been a few years after joining the agency that you finally got your own trainee. Jeon Jungkook, Agent Z, nickname pending. His specialty was combat, and he was surprisingly more buff and thick than most of the guys around here, though they weren't anything to scoff at by any means.

He had a softer look in the face than you were expecting from an agent. For a moment you were brought back to the moment you and Namjoon had met. You got it now, especially with his doe eyes and bunny teeth. He looked too pure.

However, the skills he had shown, even beating you in combat to prove himself. In fact, he beat everyone in one on one combat, an effort to prove himself. You should've known by the busted knuckles that he was more than his eyes gave away. You had expected him to be slow, but he was quicker than you. You expected him to be less agile, but you were wrong there too.

And by God, by the end of it, you were ecstatic to work with him.

He had finished battling Seokjin, managing to keep his pretty face intact (thankfully). You had jumped into the fighting ground and flew into Jungkook's arms, who caught you easily. You smiled and squealed like the childish girl you were, pinching his cheeks. "This is my baby everyone! My trainee, mine!"

"You haven't even started training him yet, dumbass!" Yoongi called back.

"Shut up!" you replied, letting Jungkook put you down. "That was amazing kid, really! I'm so excited to tell you everything I know."

Jungkook laughed at that. "You're not at all what I expected an agent to be like."

You rolled your eyes. "I get that a lot. Where'd you learn moves like that anyway? I fought for CIA, FBI, and MI5 and I still didn't beat you!"

"Underground boxing, dad in the military who taught me a few moves, and later on I moved on to the black market. Shady business like that gives you a lot of random fights, and some fight dirty."

"Well I look forward to working with you, Agent Z!" you beamed happily.

It was a few years after that when you got the news that would change your life forever.

"Agent Q, I want you to be leading this mission. There's an unknown form of extraterrestrial beings that have landed on Earth- unlike anything we've ever seen before. I want you and seven others to go out and check on the premises and see these extraterrestrial. We don't know what they're capable of, and can't take chances. I picked the top eight agents in the business. You, Agent A, B, C, D, P, V, and Z."

You had led missions before, sure. But this was unusual. Nothing of this caliber had ever happened, and it shocked you to your very core. New lifeforms? You had only known the species that already resided on this Earth, never before anything new. Also, so many agents? At most, there were three, perhaps five if there was a need for backup. Never eight. Your agency knew to conserve numbers just in case, not wanting to lose too many.

You looked to the Head of Board. "Are you sure you want to send this many agents?"

"We need our very best, and I believe you eight can get the job done. If you can't do it, no one can. You'll be expected to depart in the morning."

"Understood."

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