#hmmmm feeling… sad

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

favourite twdg villain?

I'm a fond enjoyer of the St. John's as villains. I don't know if they're my favorite just because they're only in one episode, but I love the concept of this family almost immediately jumping into cannibalism toward the start of the outbreak, dealing in human flesh to bandits, and casually feeding this group their friend's legs.

Like... what the hell was this family like before the outbreak that all three of them were like, "Hey now listen... nothing should go to waste, the dead are eating people so why shouldn't we? We gotta survive and in our defense, we only target those who were gonna die anyway... like y'all."

Dude, Mark was shot in this shoulder with an arrow. He wasn't going to die from that injury. It's so fucked that these seemingly friendly people took the group into their home and then fed them Mark's legs.

If we take the idea that everyone is infected and have the capacity within themselves to become walkers, to become monsters, then the St. John's were infected long before the outbreak, y'know? Not literally, but something was wrong with them and the outbreak just further spread that infection and changed them.

But again, are they my favorite? I dunno if I can say that since I have a lot more appreciation for Lily now. Yeah, some of her writing gets a little wonky in ep3 of TFS when she goes on her monologues and shit, but y'know what? I'm into it.

You have to remember who we're talking about and the fact that she's the antagonist; Lily isn't some anti-hero in TFS who secretly has a heart of gold that's brought to light because she reunited with Clementine... she's a fucked up woman who did fucked up things in the name of survival. She's full of rot now. She sees kidnapping children and turning them into soldiers to protect her home as a means to an end, but she doesn't actually give a shit about the people she's taking. They aren't people to her, they're as the episode title suggests, toys in her game. The only one she sees as a person is Clementine, and while that makes her hesitate at first, she sees Clementine's a prize to bring back.

She remembers what happened in S1; her father had a heart attack and as she tried to save him, Kenny smashed his face in with a saltlick and then expected Lily to just stand up and help him get back to his family because "he did what he had to, he made the hard choice." Yes, Larry was a piece of shit. No one liked him, and you can even question Lily on him and she'll tell you that he has a lot of pain. Yes, it makes him an asshole, but he's still her dad and he's all she has. I mean... the simplification is daddy issues, but in all seriousness, I don't doubt for a second that many of Lily's issues stem from Larry being a shitty father to her.

Then everyone thought she was losing it when she insisted there was a traitor in the group, which she was right about, but she was unstable. She was unwell, but how do you help someone like that when you don't have training to go about it? Then Lily ends up killing either Carley or Doug and the group turns on her, and either she's left behind or she steals the van and runs away.

Then we don't know what the hell happened to her until we see her again in TFS, but like... a lone woman with decay festering inside of her joining the delta? Exposing her to their methods? I mean, what else did she have to lose? She had nothing, she lost everything, and she has a lot of issues. Survival is easy when you're numb, when you don't care about the individual; they're all just cogs churning to make the system run, and if a piece doesn't cooperate, you get rid of it and find a new one.

Plus I think there's something to say about Lily not wanting to be perceived as weak again. That whole display she put on in the cells? Telling the story of what happened to Minerva and Sophie? I get the criticism that it feels like Lily did a 180 between episodes but like... yeah dude, because it's a performance. It's not just her and Clementine anymore. It's a display of power and authority. She's playing the part and thriving in it as she ensures everyone else is terrified of her.

But then when Clementine and AJ get the upper hand? Again, she's not afraid to play up the pleading to earn enough sympathy to spare her- hell, just to let their guard down enough to strike and get the upper hand again. I mean, she's got nothing else to lose, right? If she doesn't go for it, she'll be killed and sure, you can kill her anyway but at least she tried.

Honestly, I look at Lily in TFS and still see that scared little girl playing the tough bitch, just like Carley said in S1. It's just now escalated from "tough bitch" to a downright vile person. She's so... lost? I suppose? Lost within herself and the monstrous means she's taken to survive.

I get the criticisms of how she was used in TFS, but for me, it's like when people complain about Minerva not getting the redemption arc she supposedly should've gotten, y'know? There's no saving her. Lily was never on our side, and there was no getting her on our side. She wasn't ever going to redeem herself. Even if you spare her and she drifts away on her raft, can someone like her actually find redemption? Or will she just find another group that'll feed into her rot?

Truly, I say let her be horrid. Let her be the piece of shit villain with a few fleeting moments of humanity. Let her drown in the blood she's spilled.

#asks #twdg lily #twdg andy st john #twdg danny st john #twdg brenda st john #twdg clementine #twdg minerva #twdg mark #twdg larry #twdg kenny #i know i used to complain about lily in tfs a lot years ago but past cj complained about everything tbh sksksks #now i'm just like babe lily's interesting as shit like not every villain needs a redemption arc just because you think they're hot #and don't wanna feel bad or because you want her to be like she was in s1 when she was sympathetic like... it's been years #that's like being mad that clementine isn't the same person as she was in s1... the difference is we got to see clementine grow #but what happened to lily is a mystery... but that doesn't mean she didn't change especially for the worst #i dunno sometimes i look at lady antagonists in media and then look at people's reactions and i'm like.......... hmmmm #c'mon now- if kenny came back in tfs the same exact way then y'all would be foaming at the mouth insisting he's complex #and morally grey and he's just really sad about his family dying and really he's a sad widdle meow meow but also the best villain #who should be spared because he always cared about clementine and aj and he's just traumatized and sad and amazing unlike OTHERS #like.................... okay sure mmhmmmm #side note but the worst thing about kenny is the fact that he IS a brilliantly written character but his stans tend to just be the worst #anyway i like lily she's a great tfs antagonist like i recognize there are some weak spots and i wish she has more of a presence in ep4 #if she lived but y'know... gotta make room for minerva being the final bridge boss so... yeah

[birdricks]

ok heres this. how i interpreted his fears at least

#rnm spoilers #most of them r said pretty plainly but whatever LOL i love lists #interesting how u can see mortys Main fear of relying on rick right from the start #not sure abt the ‘rick putting them in danger one’ #its in tbat little loop of Rick Fears #which im not quite sure what to make of. so thats the closest i can get #its definitely smth hes doen a lot. so theres that #SCARY IMPLICATIONS of morty having overcome his reliance on rick. or at least his fear of it #like in conquering the hole alone hes realised he doesnt really Need rick. #like maybe one day therell be a time he gets in trouble and rick Wont bail him out. or cant. but hes ok w that now? #hmmmm. intersting. very curious to see where that goes #themost painful one for me is being responsible for ricks sadness #liek thsts so fucking rough. #GETTING PERSONAL…. like i know how it feels to be a kid and feel responsible for the emotions of adults. it sucks balls #itd be interesting to see if All of these fesrs have been conquered or just the reliance one

[femmeidiot]

.....

#Hmmmm trauma posting I guess?? Trigger warning in general #death #etc. #someone got shot like a block away from the coffee shop I was in and I saw the body and it was ... gross #but also I feel ... nothing about it? I feel like I should be more sad or something but I feel kinda numb #but also can't get the image of the body out of my head #anyway idk? I'll delete this in a second but like I'm fine I didn't witness the shots or anything

[moeblob]

My favorite golem gremlin

#rune factory tides of destiny #elena #i love her so much you guys ? she was so great i miss her #uh hmmmm woke up feeling blah after poor sleep and then just slept most of the day and woke up to a storm #and was like huh it isnt very light out did i somehow sleep way into the night? #and briefly thought i wouldnt make art today and it made me sad #but it was just rain and i did in fact draw today #the streak is still going

[chaldeanuu]

shaking like a kitten bathed in a cold water because joining discord servers seems so fun especially that it’s much easier to talk when there’s more people rather than being stuck on 1v1 private chat messages…

and i love the discord server i have with my irl friends… but i haven’t been active here for long enough, i think. and i also don’t want to switch from tumblr to discord just because… ALSO i’m so bad at quick and casual communication, i really overuse too many words (but i’m the same in my native language lol i just know fancier words in it)

#few posts on dash got me in a row </3 #hmmmm i honestly start to feel a slight pinch of regret #that i only recently started using tumblr as an actual *social* media #despite being here for over 10 years lol #the lurker emerged from its cave #and now is sad that others have already fun internet friendships lasting for so long <3 #—talks.

[crispyflowerblaze]

okay now i have two movie crushes (marlene dietrich in shanghai express is the new one) (original is marisa tomei as mona lisa vito in my cousin vinnie) (it's me and my family's favorite movie and whenever we watch it it's like mona lisa vito my one true love besides my wonderful amazing perfect boyfriend) (go watch my cousin vinnie right now it's the best movie ever)

#my cousin vinnie #shanghai express #marisa tomei #marlene dietrich #mona lisa vito #shanghai lily #why are they both so prettyyyyyyyyyyyy #hmmmm why am i feeling like i had another movie or tv crush that was a guy? that's really funny if there was and i'm just forgetting it lol #speaking of boyfriend i'm seeing him in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haven't seen him since august!!! #like it feels so weird that i'm actually going to see him in person #like it's sad that that feels so weird ugh lol #but yeah i love and adore him so much

[aefensteorrra]

I have the opportunity to spend a month in Michigan this autumn and that should be an easy decision (go! especially before I have more responsibilities) but it’s not

#I mean. the person I'm dating rn is from there and a big thing is us deciding that we want to try to make this work #and given that we're both very sad at the thought of things changing from how they are now we do want to try #but god Michigan is so far away #and in a car dependent country. and I can't drive. and do not want to be dependent on them or their family #but also this is quite the opportunity.. I'd get to see Detroit and Ann Arbor and Chicago and Toronto.. lakes... #it's a whole other continent that I've never been to like of course that would be exciting #but deciding to go feels so. definite. it's a real commitment to this relationship #a relationship which is making me happy but yeah. of course I still miss my ex we were together for more than half a decade #and I'm still just pained by him never working on himself because things could've been okay I think #hmmmm anyway. much to think about.

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel so fucking feral over any podium with ticker tape, THE PICTURES ARE SOOOOOO GOOD!!! And like...they shoot the ticker tape during the champagne...so it sticks to everything and everyone 🫠😵‍💫

#i turn into such a carfucker over any pictures where the ticker tape is sticking to the cars #brazil.....best podium ever... #its so funny bcs all my phone backgrounds are Seb rn but then theres one thats just the tire marbles covered in ticker tape 😭 #but idk i was looking at pics from germany 2012 where they have golden tape #WHICH LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD #but the way its sticking to their skin and racesuits i feel so unwell #yeah sorry this is so weird i just think its so incredibly visually appealing #itd be fun to make one of those 'details' post and its just tape sticking to different things #theres these pics from some ROC where Seb has golden tape stuck on his cheek ITS JUST SO PRETTYYYYYYY #i wonder why they do it at certain gps #and god im so sad im thinking like oh i wonder if they still do it at the german gp BUT THERE IS NO GERMAN GP ANYMORE 😭 #bur i think they do it at hmmmm #Australia/Brazil/Hungary/Miami etc I'm not sure which else since i dont pay as much attention to podiuks atm LMAO #but yeah idk i just feel sooooo deranged and feral about it #i think the race i have the most pics downloaded from is brazil 2010 for obvious reasons 🤭 #that is probably one of my fav podiums ever top 3 probably #ALSO ALSO #theres these fucking magnificent pictures from RBR in milton keynes after their 2011 championship #and there's red white and blue ticker tape AND SEB IS WEARING MY FAV HELMET OF HIS!!! THOSE PICS ARE PERFECT!!!!! #if i wasn't committed to having a shippy pic as my of those would def be up there #anyways seriously going thru it(being obsessed over a minute thing) #catie.rambling.txt

[sunbratz]

a fun games called am i having a bad day or is it seasonal depression

#hmmmm hmhmhm #i dont feel like talking to anyone or moving from my bed but #i am mtl posting in my brain tho #sad so let me infodump to u about my headcanons for my hyperfixation and dont ask me about anything else thanks #nah ill get over myself ill probably write angsty fic on my phone and sleep the rest of the day who knows 😭

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

I miss c!purpled

#that bitch ruined my life I will never be normal about him #forever not okay </3 #mcyt #dsmp #purpled #c!purpled #dream smp #like. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #the neurodivergence hit HARD with him like I have so many thoughts and feelings about him all the time #will never be the same <///3333 #I’m like that one “guy who only ever thinks about their interest: hmmmm getting a lot of ‘my interest’ vibes from this” #I miss him and he is never coming back and I will forever be sad about it #“Hey wanna see how hard I can cry” #I can make a moodboard out of this #I just might do that #10piecetalks

[krispiecake]

the fact i regularly have to have my own emotions pointed out to me by other people is insane and embarrassing

#i was like ‘yeah i was angry i was pissed off and maybe a bit scared’ #and my therapist was like ‘hmmmm it kinda sounds like you were sad bc this person who is important to you is moving on’ #and it was like. FUCK UR RIGHT. #how do yall allistics do this why am i so confused by my own brain so often i straight up couldnt even tell if i was SAD. #isnt that like one of the main emotions too???? #its my bpd as well like bc its all so intense it just kinda blurs into one big emotion called ‘fucked up’ #i gotta start journalling or something again bc i cant keep getting confused like this its so embarrassing #20yrs old and i dont even know when im feeling sad in the most obvious clearest situations that anyone would feel sad it #in #UGH

[mlm-blues]

need a guy that i can info dump to and will genuinely be interested in what i have to say :(

#vent ish #sorry. feeling sad #i only info dump when im daydreaming these days. and it's not the same #and whenever i try with friends i just get shut down or they arent interested :( #and it sucks i have so much to say and i feel like im going to EXPLODE #grrr sorry for the vent im feeling very. hmmmm #isaac.txt

[mashmouths]

so when do i stop feeling like the world's most useless 17 year old

#i'm supposed to be a senior in college and yet. #we're coming up 5 years since i've been 17 this month which is cool and not at all horrible that i still feel like this <3 #typed this going 80 and crying to nct dream's 'rocket' to set the scene for you all #good lord. anyway hope everyone's sunday has been chill <3 #a post #should i have a rant/complaint/sad tag so people can block it and skip out on me being annoying. hmmmm.

[gaylienz]

fhdgkfjhdagkffg

#cupid.txt #so found out that someone i know was murdered in a murder suicide---wasnt close or anything but hoooo fuck its a lot. i just ache for her #and her family jfc....gun violence is fucking aaaaaaaa #idk how to process it really....and less horrible but also kinda ahhh #is they're basically getting rid of the part of my job that i liked the most #its just been crazy and i guess they decided to try and run the orders out of warehouses/distribution centers which makes sense #but i hmmmm......i cant help but feel sad tbh and its a sign to me that my time w/ them is drawing short

[strawberry-graveyard]

ew i hate being in front when our hair’s not dyed

#i am an OURPLE boy #our hair is both not dyed and also too long #hmmm hmmmm #error code squiggle.txt #this is lighthearted btw cuz i can already feel courtney getting sad #i am joking <3

[pepprs]

like…. UGH!!!!!!!!! girl help im in the water. girl help i cannot ASK for help i cannot communicate my needs i cannot translate myself a) at all but especially b) when there is no trust and… there is no trust. the trust was aready going extremely downhill and then it shattered and i am angry and hurt about it every day and i am still not over it. and this email i have to reply to has been making me upset for 2 days straight that’s why i haven’t replied i wanted it to happen but i don’t want to be a WIMP but i don’t see any way to make this work without admitting / revealing that i am one. about to swan dive into a vat of toxic sludge god bless 🙏🏻💞

#purrs #not abt anyone / anything here btw this is just….. puts my head in my hands. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #yes i desperatey want to be independent and normal yes i am terrified of independence and normalcy i do not see a problem with this <3. yes #i want to redacted no i will not ask for it or assert my needs yes i Iwill always and forever let you walk all over me instead of with me be #becusss yes i feel like you will hate me if you get to know me yes these shoes are made for walking… ON EGGSHELLS!!!! 🤑💃🏻🤑💃🏻🤑💃🏻🤑 #delete later #hmmmm maybe i will reply on saturday and just think abt this some more and chalk it up to a busy week which it has been. but ummmmm pain and #suffering like. lol. the MORTIFYING ordeal of being perceived for what i am. of asking to be known. when i don’t know…. redacted. LOL ! #also literally it is so fucking sad im making this post in 2022. it’s so sad. like how did we get here. i am asking soooo fucking genuinely. #and also bashing my head against the wall at 2.5x speed. btw. if you [subject of this post] even care </3 #anyways *says im going to stop posting abt personal things* *immediately does it 10x more egregiously* i am normal i am i am iam i am 💁🏻‍♀️