#hi ive been sick again

[th3b33skn33s]

-rises from the grave to post homestuck art- Homestucktober2023 Day "One": Patron Troll

#hi ive been sick again #we've gotta stop meeting like this #anyways i realized a couple days ago that it was october #and you know what that means? #Im gonna try and do a drawing challenge #oh whats that #its the seve- EIGHTH by the time of posting already? #i have been a woman possessed these past couple days so im gonna post a bunch over the next while #anyways... #happy october #or in this case #Homestucktober #homestucktober 2023 #homestuck #sollux #sollux captor #art #myart #hs

[protagonist-art]

redesigned creek cuz im sick of feeling rage every time i see him

#a lot offff this is based off rps with him :3 so if ur like why. that's why #im sick of rping him and seeing his ugly canon icon and having a physical visceral reaction #i want to see him in the new movies style SO BAD!!!! RAGRHH #also i went thru a lot of effort to make his trousers NOT neon yellow only for the filters i applied to turn them neon again #creek #trolls #redesign #art #fanart #my recent art has been so sketchy and non refined but i truly just cant b bothered atm #now realising ive hardly posted it here HOLD ONNN I will b posting all my recent art eventually #he clacks when he walks cuz i think its a very relaxing sound. namaste or whatever

[00394892]

FFFFFREEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKK

#this gets wonky if you look at it for too long so just dont. do that #ok sorry ill stop spamming drawings ive just been on a roll 2nite #youll never get a clean render from me the most ill do is colorize and slap a few textures on this baby and boom.there ygo #he seriously makesme sick like what is his problem #my art #yttd #your turn to die #shin tsukimi #sou hiyori #<- by technicality. Again. sorry. has it been long enough that i should stop tagging him as sou? i dont even know. force of habit #kimi ga shine

[anxiously-sidequesting]

To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad #but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to #its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐 #HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j #like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal #but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip #(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA #ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances- #and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people #LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny #like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay” #and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood #without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now #for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why #like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ #you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially #whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not #ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing #but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u #i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts #malistaire drake

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#shouldn't have shoved aside the panic attack that was building last night #when I had to leave work during a massive snow storm #because that overwhelmed feeling carried over into today #and im exhausted and I'm about 2seconds from losing my shit but i cant AGAIN because i have to get ready for work #my shift starts in just over an hour lmao #and i feel like a raging bitch #all snappy and nasty #but really im stretched too thin #and im terrified #of not getting into grad school of this forever being my fuckin life #but also because my health is bad but my brother's is worse and i just watched something terrifying happen to him #(something in his neck temporarily dislocated) #and i just #im so SICK of everything being shitty #im so sick of our shitty medical system and how my brother cant find anyone to take him seriously and actually help him #and i go each day wondering if... if. and i can't handle it. and if i get into grad school I'll be leaving the state... #and if something..... #i know ive put my life on hold for my parents because im afraid of what ifs and my dad's health has ALSO been shit #(i love growing up with a parent that casually says stuff like I Wont Be Alive By Then. or When Im Dead-. all the time.) #and ive been terrified of leaving Just In Case. and every time my brother's health goes bat shit sideways again i freeze and panic #and I don't have TIME to panic or freeze rn but as im well aware the body will make you take a break if you don't make time for one #it's all BS & im tired & lost & i want so BADLY to get into this particular school but i feel Guilty for wanting to leave so fucking badly #idk what to fuckin do #☉ #tbd #im gonna cry. or be sick lol. maybe both.

[astraltoon]

i have a buny now :)

#'now' is more like 'again' #me n my sister had a couple when we were younger but it's been 7 years #missed having buns im so glad i got him hes so cute and such a goober #he has however already destroyed a pair of earbuds #my fault i didnt close his pen properly but i was sick :( #ive had him for 10 days now #im still kinda unsure about his name but it's probably mars #ok i will stop rambling in the tags now enjoy bun

[thueenz]

they should invent a bra that doesnt cause back pain

#the bra was invented by the devil to torture me specifically #it rlly is a choice between “which one will cause me LESS pain” let me outttt!!!😫 #anyway hi everyone i just got home from physioooo #so awkward bc the entity on me decided to target that specific issue like it does for a million other things but i cant say that #so i just have to be like haha yeah. It got better completely then for no explainable reason went right back to how it was before haha #Yeah. Sorry. #LIKE 😭😭😭 #i cant say yeah the entity that wants to ruin my life decided to make it worse again. yeah it does this every time a physical injury heals #yeah it just never heals after that. yeah ive been dealing with it for like 5 years. yeah it just does this. sorry #SHE WILL THINK I AM INSANE! anyway lets all beat that thing on my neck with sticks im sick of the mf #hope everyones well 2 daaaay #pers

[hella1975]

for the first time EVER i have spent actual Big Bucks on jewellery and im so so excited about it. another bisexual win!

#like in the grand scheme of jewellery it is NOT big bucks at all #but for fucking agesssss now ive been moaning bc i like wearing rings AND i have several piercings #but i dont have ANY nice jewellery so im in perpetual green stains and just once i wanted to have actual nice jewellery #that i could wear again and again without feeling grubby #like does anyone else get hyperaware of the TEXTURE of cheap rings? i do it's like i can FEEL the metal getting into my skin #like i get super paranoid and start picturing it getting into my blood and poisoning me... haha... #it's v uncomfortable and i will avoid wearing jewellery altogether as a result despite how much i love wearing jewellery #BUT NO MORE!!! #i bought two rings that were £8 EACH one of which is from a really good brand that's known in the city for being affordable but good qualit #and that one is SUPER chunky and cool but also has the same rock in it that my grandad's ring had #and i have v complicated thoughts about my grandad but i ALWAYS loved his ring and it's weirdly comforting #but like i said. complicated. but in a nice way for once? #and i bought a single set of earrings for £10 which is. so silly to me #like tbf it's SIX earings for a tenner so it's still decent (again the good brand ones so no green ears for me!) #but i have thirds and will wear them as a single set so in my head it works out as £10 for one pair of earrings #if that makes ANY sense #but yeah! my hope is to just gradually build up my Good Quality rings until i have a collection of ones that i can wear daily #and still be comfortable AND hot #and im very much intending to keep this one earring set in for weeks like we're 4lifers now #okay so maybe this was a comfort thing but also a laziness thing lmao im just sick of constantly changing earrings #BUT YEAH!!! £26 ON JEWELLERY IN ONE DAY!!! EVERYONE CLAP THIS IS BIG FOR ME!!! #hella goes to uni

[originalribbing]

Thoughts!! Read tags for tw

Honestly, A.dam probably hasn’t had a taste of freewill. He’s kept in such tight constraints by G.od, then the S.eraphims, and now by the main S.eraphim. Part of him is defiant but its also within limits. The thought of G.od showing up to force him back into this perfect image is absolutely TERRIFYING. The apple was punishment more than anything as it made him more aware of how stuck he is. However, he will never fault E.ve for opening his eyes.

He never wanted to be in this sick breeding program. He wanted to be friends with E.ve first. Only if they will it for themselves do they have a family

Both of them had their arm twisted by G.od.

Going on!!

After the battle and P.entious is in heaven I imagine this opens up a chance. A.dam is tasked to keep an eye on the newly redeemed and look for any excuse to send him back; finds a truly kind and caring soul instead. Proof. It’s proof! It rattles A.dam to his CORE.

Throw in motivation that he could be reunited with E.ve and he has every reason to see this to fruition. Also add I see A.dam being treated as a test dummy by the S.eraphims to figure out the unknown of heaven he’s perfect.

Because of the many barriers he has to be secretive. But I really like the idea of Charlie gaining a reluctant inside man. Even if he can’t fully be with Eve there’s a chance the big gap between their worlds might narrow enough till it’s tolerable.

#mentions in post: breeding experiment - lack of choice #g.od is sick man #and A.dam is so stubburn that man is still in there and strong #he just needs to make amends to everyone / change / and try fighting for whats right again #he cant keep using idiology to cope #ive been chatting abt this non-stop but in greater detail lately #i think it means more if he changes on his own freewill instead of being a sinner……like its the first choice HE MAKES #pepsi. | big dick is back in town

[wall-e-gorl]

My style Is very bubble and bean and cartoon but the thing about that is that to be effective and look good and nice is that that you have to know like the proper proportions and anatomy of real people. You don't *have* to be able to draw every single muscle perfectly but if you generally know where they are its easier to know how to squish and squash, if you know face proportions and how faces move and why you can make faces that make the emotion you want and don't immediately pull people out of their immersion by the eyes being weird in comparison to the face. And sometimes. You gotta draw things in the realistic style to better understand how to make it cartoony

#realistic ande i just did is both a different brush and more realistic than i usually do #ive been using that brush more and i like it again and i know how to mesh it with my main brush now (fucking sick ive had that brush for #prob a year now gathering digital dust) and i wanted to figure out facial form more #so. more realistic ande. with his face at an angle ive done before but w a brush i can do as much detail as i want with #this ande is much more true to form than the other pencil drawing one i did of him. w jambo on the couch #i still like it i just captured him better in this newst one

[infizero]

rewatching late-august's animatics for the first time in like a year and having a visceral reaction

#rewatching his og innocence animatic makes me violently ill. it always has and its even worse now #because now theres a big layer of nostalgia over it. watching this again makes me feel things i cant describe im gonnabe sick #GOD i miss it so bad. im so fucking serious i dont think ive ever missed a fandom ive been in as much as dsmp it makes me ill just #thinking about it. i want to go back take me back #serena.txt

[healingheartdogs]

I'll tell ya what though, nothing makes you want to get out of dog stuff for a while quite like your childhood dog passing traumatically in your arms

#ive barely been a person since Banana died #his life and his death both haunt me daily #every time im in bed cuddling with Hermes i cry about it #wanting to do better for your current and future pets does jack all for the dead #i wanted to at least give him a good last day but i couldnt even do that #training with Hermes and Eevee fills me with grief and guilt and often launches me into flashbacks of his death #ive been so burned out and sick since we moved and covid ruined my health even more #and now trying to get better and get back into working with my dogs regularly without him... it feels wrong #better late than never doesnt apply when death is involved #death #animal death #tw death #tw animal death #early morning sad hours ig #i gave myself flashbacks again and this is me trying to intellectualize my way out of my emotional response

[cheeseblind]

.

#im Sad i know im being a bit overly parasocial but im so gen upset abt this #like i KNEW his history but i thought he had changed + maybe that was overly optimistic but !! #im sad + upset + pissed off that ive been making shit that supports him #i just hate it !! it has upset me sm !! i do feel a little sick but thats just shock still!! #idk what this rant is for. im sad and upset i hope anyone he hurt is okay and i hope hes never on the channel again #rambles #i have no actually valuable words im just being upset im sorry

[weenieliker]

🦐...

#making another bullshit post because i dont have anyone to talk to and talking in the tags is comforting as fuck for some reason #so here we go. hi gang dave here how are we doing tonight #sparkle off its thurday forget who you are yk how it goes #im so tired man ive had such a long week its been good but so fucking long you know like holy shit stuff just all the time #had a choir performance which was pretty badass #ive gotten further in rereading homestuck just watched me and my bro hug it out which was great #stridercest nation rise up #went to the dentist showed him my sick ass wisdom tooth necklace and he loved it and he took a billion pictures #gonna go to a new therapy support group thing try it out see how it goes maybe ill like it maybe i wont #these are just kind of life updates cause idk its weird to have shit happen and then just never talk about it to anyone really #been drawing a lot lately its nothing super cool but im having fun with it #i watched trolls 3 again tonight what a fucking fantastic movie cinema is alive and well #branch reminds me of karkat so much and its hilarious like thats just the same guy #i tried making hummus tonight but fucked it up it was too sour but no big ill try again another time #idk i think thats all ive got to say. thanks for tuning in see you next time

[toothmarqed]

fallen prey to saying stupid shit on the internet without thinking and coming off as incredibly rude and insensitive. i feel sick to my stomach. never commenting on anything else ever again. deserve to be squashed under someone’s shoe and ground into powder. in all seriousness this has shocked me so much that i am quitting every platform but tumblr for however long it takes for me to get some sense knocked into my dumb fucking skull

#actually considering deleting the clock app rn #what i said was so so bad and it could’ve been avoided if i’d fucking READ WHAT I WROTE and thought abt it FOR ONE GODDAMN MINUTE #i genuinely feel like i’m going to throw up being seen (fairly. justifiably) as mean is like the worst thing #and i don’t deserve to be wining abt this bc i’m the one who hurt someone but good god #PLEASE make sure that when you say something online you would SAY IT TO THEIR FACE #ive gotten to used to this brusque rude dark humor on the internet that i don’t relaizw using that humor INDISCRIMINATELY WITH STRANGERS is #Not okay #they made a video on it but the video got taken down so i deleted the comment. which might have been more selfish. i don’t know what’s best #-to do in that situation? i’m going to change my fucking username and pfp atp and go off the app entirely because i’m so fucking adhd ames #**ashamed don’t know why is autocorrected to that #ok just deleted the app ‘and all of its data’ so idk if that means my videos (edits) too but atp whatever #maybe it’s impulsive but at least this way i will not know what’s going on ! and never hurt anyone again hopefully. i really hope he saw my #-comments before his response was deleted because i want them to know it was not intentional and i am truly so so sorry #i don’t know how i’m going to function for the rest of the day. i’m going to think about this when i go to sleep for the rest of my life #i feel sick #i’m evil #and being evil isn’t fun silly times it literally makes me want to throw up from how bad i am #too much ranting in the tags and i deserve to be fucking shot in the mouth #but i need somewhere to put this that no one will see this but that is also public so that someone might see and know how sorry i am #feel like fucking bojack horseman #unironically how am i supposed to go on living. how can i live knowing i’m so bad. if i don’t kill myself im being selfish because i’m mak- #-omg everyone deal with my presence and live with a bad person. #i think i’m going too social media entirely except for tumblr maybe bc i can’t or don’t rly talk to anyone on here #i need someone to like give me a good meaning but not in a cathartic way in a way that it genuinely hurts so bad and makes me feel the full #suffering i deserve

[magic-is-something-we-create]

now that ive gotten some of the restless sketching energy out i am going to try. once again. to do some Writing

#braindumps.txt #considering that ive been sick this week (for the first time in 2+ years) #(not covid just a cold thats kicking my ass bc again. first sickness in 2 years) #AND ive been stressed out about a certain dog today (he slept on his shoulder wrong and had us worried he dislocated it) #AND my meds have been acting up #i have gotten very little done. #and every bit has been a struggle #so im hopin. hopin. that tonight i can get something to happen in this messy brain of mine