#hes about to write a review!! no way!!!

[jackmerrideeznuts]

no way guys ben shapiro watched lord fly 90 😨

#lotf shitpost #lord of the flies #hes about to write a review!! no way!!!

[blueskittlesart]

profs will set the due date for the final as april 24 and then STILL NOT HAVE THE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT UP TO SUBMIT THE PAPER BY 11PM ON APRIL TWENTY FUCKING THIRD

#ALEC. BESTIE. PLEASE. I AM BARELY PASSING YOUR CLASS AS IT IS I NEED YOU TO WORK WITH ME HERE #i feel the need to explain the level of bullshit that has been going on with this particular final actually because holy shit. #he first told us about it about 3 weeks ago which. fine. but all he said was 'you will have to pick a topic and write a paper' #like nothing about what the topic should relate to how the paper should be organized word count etc. literally nothing #radio silence for 2 weeks. we all forgot about it. then out of the blue 'btw your papers are due in a week lol!' #so we all scramble to figure out what the hell the assignment actually is #come to find out he never actually posted the assignment brief on canvas as an assignment. the only way we can access it is via a pdf #linked in ANOTHER UNRELATED ASSIGNMENT. #the project brief in question describes several in-class activities we straight up have not done. #no one actually knows if it's really due tomorrow or next week because he keeps pushing shit back and DOESNT ANSWER EMAILS #but the date on the syllabus is the 24th. and there is still nowhere online where we can submit our papers at all. #jesus fucking christ in heaven #personal #he is going to be getting a. shall we say INTERESTING professor review from me. lmao

[james-stark-the-writer]

feel like pure shit, just want her back

#james talks #riverdale #miss the whole crew really but Betty especially bc Lili was so magnificent #god as perfect as the finale was (and it really was one of the greatest finales ever) i wish we had gotten another season #they had as good a run as a show on that network could hope for but there are few shows on there that eclipsed the network like Riverdale #like the list includes like. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Gossip Girl. and ig The Vampire Diaries. and that's it. #(that list is for shows almost exclusively produced by the CW. CXG DID have other producing companies but it was largely the CW). #no show will ever quite be like Riverdale ever again and no show will ever reach the heights it did. #especially not on their shoestring CW budget. #like honestly i just need more Riverdale in my life. #like RAS and the writing team found such a great way to turn their weaknesses into strengths. #as an article on the show once said [paraphrased]: it was a great show that was really good at pretending to be bad. #even now nobody gets the show like i do. #everyone thinks it's some silly little show about crazy shit with crazy plotlines and pretty lighting and aesthetics but no substance— #when in reality it's an incredible pulpy anti-fascist text questioning the role of authority using those aesthetics for a larger purpose #but i'll save the real analysis for whenever i get around to actually making the Riverdale video essay i need in my life #unless Quinton Reviews or SuperEyepatchWolf beat me to it first. they're the only people who i think will actually understand the show. #like SuperEyepatchWolf's video on the show is already pretty fun even if it's a little dismissive of the substance of the show— #(tbf to him it only covered up until the S05 mid-season finale and S06 hadn't released yet) #but like he at least feels like he gets the spirit of the show. especially with the wrestling comparison. #and i hope i don't need to explain why Quinton would get it. #anyway. i need the Riverdale crew back.

[y-eontan]

fic: bad. plot twists: also bad.

#i should write professional reviews for a living i think. #something so poetic about bad. bad. next question #i'll finish it but the verdict has already been written #also theres no fucking way he died. this is the first fuckass chapter #like please miss me with this fake out!!!!!!!!!!!! #wait a mc fucking mc second #i know why this sucked #whatever

[mariemariemaria]

when deirdre maguire said ‘punk is the only religion worth fighting for’

#yeah! #derry girls #actually thought about this when i was studying today #the punk scene in ni is soo interesting to me #and how derry girls fits into art created about the troubles #because the vast majority of media about them has focused on the violence and political 'struggles'. and understandably so #but both derry girls and the undertones focused on teenager's lives . with the troubles on the periphery #teenage kicks is about the life of one teenager who fancies a girl basically #and derry girls is about a group of teenagers who struggle with ordinary things about being a teenager like school parents and crushes #and both the undertones in the 70s and derry girls today showed the rest of the uk/ireland (and further afield) that ni is more than just #violence and sectarianism. and that the people (esp teenagers) here are just like people and teenagers everywhere #which was a BIG deal in the 70s and honestly kind of a big deal now too when you think about english ignorance about ni lol #(one commentator on a guardian review of derry girls said that it hadnt occurred to him when he was growing up that catholics in ni were #just ordinary people just like him and his friends and family. which kinda shows the extent to which propaganda regarding ni functioned in #britain during the troubles - and still today in some ways) #it also feels significant that both derry girls and the undertones were created by working class catholics from derry but maintaining #a non sectarian aspect is also important - the point is that they both portrayed the realities of being a teenager which crossed religious #and political barriers. i could write a whole essay on this honestly #kinda moved on from the punk scene aspect hmmm in ep 3x05 of derry girls stiff little finger's 'alternative ulster' was played #which calls on the listener to 'grab it and change it - it's yours' to show that ordinary people - esp teenagers - have the power to create #a better society and a better life and a better ulster. and in 3x07 that's exactly what they did.

[goatsandgangsters]

the good news is that I finished a book and it got me out of my reading slump where I would start things, not finish, switch to something else, not finish

the bad news is that "yes daddy" by jonathan parks-ramage is one of the worst written books I've read in a whiiiile. bland expositiony prose, flat characters, a bunch of weird plot detours. Written like a 200-page Wikipedia summary instead of an actual book

the worst news is that it has such intensely favorable gushing reviews on goodreads, and the people who hated it mostly hated it for a different reason, and so I'm left alone like oKAY BUT THE PROSE WAS SHIT, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS

#the writing is LAUGHABLY BAD you guys. how did people like this booooook #but most of the bad reviews are like 'I hated this book because it had too many rape scenes and lots of bad things happen' #BUT MY PROBLEM IS it's so badly written that it's like reading the wikipedia of a horror movie where it flatly tells you the grisly bits #very 'and then four grown men lived in a garden shed as waiters/sex slaves. one of them tripped and hit his head. he's dead now.' #just no emotional impact whatsoever bc this guy cannot write and the characters are all made of cardboard #it bills itself as a gothic/thriller but it has NO grasp of any of the conventions of that genre #there's a weird interlude where the protag becomes evangelical?? and starts going on about The Evils of Gay Sex?? #he gets inspiration to commit arson by READING GOOP? AND THIS IS PLAYED AS SERIOUS AFTER HIS FRIEND'S SUICIDE?? #how did ANYONE take this book seriously let alone enjoy it #it's SO awful. this guy CANNOT write his way out of a paperbag #it's even worse too bc the main character is supposed to be a professional writer with an MFA and the book is the character's memoir #which I consider tantamount to a plot hole BECAUSE THE WRITING IS SO SO BAD #the sketchy rich old guy and his butler/ex call him Rebecca and he doesn't get the reference?? he has an MFA in playwriting and yet! #it's been a while since I got to write a REALLY scathing 1-star goodreads review so that's cathartic at least

[fist-amidst-the-hands]

okay picture if you will: wealthy businessman stede bonnet in a rivalry with the badminton brothers. through some series of events stede's next move is to buy up a big commercial building row along with all the businesses in it. the problem? one owner israel hands won't sell no matter how ridiculous stede makes his offer. the twist? his business is a strip club, the type of business which stede has tried his hardest to avoid ever since that one uncomfortable experience... (it wasn't the stripper's fault, she was quite polite about it but well, you know) and the driving steddyhands factor is israel's top performing employee who apparently brings in over half of their entire revenue: one edward teach. if stede has to take matters into his own hands to get what he wants he'll just have to start paying some regular visits to the (very male, which he didn't know was a thing) strip club

#ofmd #ofmd hc #ofmd au #steddyhands #I'm so excited about this idea actually #imagine all the times stede would blush #all the times ed would throw extra winks his way #the way izzy would proudly watch ed perform his heart out #also! the potential for izzy to ask stede if he'd like a private show to see what all the fuss is about #izzy and stede watching ed perform then stede immediately showering him in praise and asking where he learned to do all that #and ed just looking over at izzy and saying 'where do you think?' with *that* smile (the one from the wardrobe scene) #and stede being shocked and asking really?? no... you're joking. are you joking? i can't tell #izzy responding with a thoughtful glance back at edward before saying 'taught him everything he knows' with a wink for good measure #stede reviewing the business with izzy and expressing surprise that they're so profitable (and izzy's expected 'no shit' response) #izzy always doing ed's makeup because he doesn't trust anyone else to do it #so much potential here... ahh i want to make this one an actual thing #how's this for a writing tag

[iwishiknewmoreaboutlizards-blog]

Its past midnight.

Its my birthday.

It has been years since I was so excited to get a year older.

A few months ago I was so scared.

Because turning 24 meant I was officially in my mid twenties.

And we all know its a crime to not be young.

So any movement away from that should be avoided.

But I am so glad to move on.

I spent today decorating for Christmas with my family.

And doing the dishes so I can enjoy a clean house on my birthday.

A few weeks ago I caught myself in a self conscious spiral that has plagued me for years and was worse again.

I said to myself "I am excited to turn 24. I feel pity for my 23 year old self."

And I had to stop, because that was me.

Right in that moment, I was the self I was pitying.

I knew that my situation was bad and I didn't like myself, but I didn't feel like there was anything I could do.

But I keep being reminded that I can improve.

I look all around me at people I admire and hear their stories, and they are all about failing and choosing to continue.

I want to learn and grow, and I am working on accepting that that will mean failure.

But I would much rather try, because I can't just live my life to the next number, always gloomy about where I am.

I am grieving for my 23 year old self, which is only a few hours past.

There is almost no difference between her and me.

But she will be a part of me forever and I want to do her memory justice.

She deserves to turn into someone great, and I will work to giver her that.

To give me that.

I have a ring that I bought for myself for no reason other than it was for myself.

And every time I wear it, I am reminded of all of the selves that I continue for.

I am so happy to add my 23 year old self to that ring.

I am working better for her and for me.

I want to.

I am writing this post, even though I want it to be good poetry and know that it falls short.

But it is trying.

The last thing I did as a 23 year old was make a flower out of old craft supplies.

And I am very happy to give one last parting gift to the me that pitied herself.

Because she deserves to be happy as much as I do.

#note to myself about myself #posts that are poems to me #in the Anthropocene reviewed John writes about how he wrote a story when he was young and how he reread it when he was older and it was bad #he talks about his living with depression in a way that is so familiar to me #and he talks about his career path and life journey and it gives me so much hope that I can fail and move forward and still do great things #I want to be a good writer but I have to be a writer first #so here i go

[datastate]

i’ve finished sirius’ conclusion (aka i’m up to date on all of witch’s heart now)

#um. holy shit. everything is so much. i love this game so much. #incomprehensibly screaming atm but just. please play it if you haven't. please. #i'll try to write up a proper review later on but in the meanwhile.... ouugghh;;; #this game is wonderful and i'm so so very happy with how they wrapped up sirius' story especially #i was guessing at what sirius' story needed (to move forward from relying entirely on lady dorothy & live for himself) #and the way it was delivered was especially just... augugh... #they make me so sad. SO sad. i love this so damn much #wilardo choosing to stick around too. for just a bit longer... #and the whole fact that sirius properly showing that he cares is partly why ashe began to crack (and lead into noel being able to convince #him) and what had wilardo have his change of heart as well... knowing he couldn't take someone else out #when they had someone who clearly cared enough about her to fight ashe to the point of exhaustion... despite their #outward conflict/teasing of each other - just getting that proof they care for each other just... ruined me #i love this game so very much #jestersvaguely #whlb

[vampiredungeon]

That post about goodreads reviewers not being human was right. What the fuck is this man

#HELLO!?!? #HELLO?!? #DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SCI-FI!?!?? #I found this on a 1 star review for the long way to a small angry planet by becky chambers in case you were wondering #A book I enjoyed greatly and do recommend btw #and the review is from. 2019 #😐 #anyways sorry for the crappy pic of my computer screen #also this is my first time writing an image id so any feedback from anyone more experienced would be appreciated #id in alt text #goodreads #books #sci-fi #science fiction #j.txt #OH and a final note #I went to this guys profile and he gave 1984 a five stars #saying it had a ‘’good message’’ #and yet 🤔 #the book featuring mostly queer characters was too heavily on the commentary 🤔 #I wonder why that is 🤔🤔

[babisawyer]

finally got to watch scream 5 since 6 is now up for streaming worst experience of my life.

#🐇 #that's sort of overdramatic....I didn't care for it #I liked some of the new characters. I think I liked more of them than disliked them which thank god #I just wish it was better idk what else to say. the dialogue was bad and not even in a good cheesy sort of way it just made me roll my eyes #like I really enjoy sam's character and I feel like she could be so much more than what she is like hopefully it improves in 6 #the end monologue with richie and amber was just so bad my ears were like no.I refuse to hear this. and I just tuned out like ay caramba #sidney's scene at the end hunting down ghostface was probably one of my favorite scenes #like the sydney writing felt very close to the original and gale's lines felt very forced #like everything she said HAD to be sassy and a gotcha moment so...bleh #I appreciated the whole requel thing I just wish it had been executed better #I'm excited for six because it seems like they're trying to make things different and original and that's fun #like I wish they'd make a scream movie that's still ghostface but completely removed from sidney and woodsboro #I enjoyed the kills though they were fun the gore was fun so I'm excited for the kills in 6 #I know I always keep reviews vague and rambly idk maybe I should write my thoughts in a google doc as I watch things lmao #just kind of annoying the thing of like people only liking the original with this franchise in particular #because I genuinely don't think any of the sequels come anywhere close to the original and the two ghostface killers in this were so #unimportant to me that I'll probably just forget about them like I do mickey #omg also vince??? a TRAGEDY he was killed off after 2 fucking minutes he was such an intriguing dude! and he was related to stu! #such a waste even with the premise I was so annoyed I literally blocked the memory of it lmao

[agallimaufryofoddments]

Hypothetically Heckling Hyperbolically

Scene: If Huey had been a couple years younger and able to overhear Ronny and Elmer’s peri-drowning conversation...

⁂

(TL;DR)

Ronny: Magic mirror of the sea, who is the unlikeliest to smile besides me?

Huey: Me.

Elmer: True that. Psyche! It’s me.

Ronny: Shit.

Elmer: Cope. I do. Anyway, you’re going to make Maiza smile, and you’re gonna like it. You’ll like it till you drop dead from smiling!

⁂

Ronny: Mortal, I can grant you power beyond your wildest dreams. Perfect immortality. Freezing time. Extreme farsightedness. Command over the human race. Money go brr. Anything. Anything! Think big. Bigger. BIGGER. Think deep.

“After thinking for a little while...”

Elmer: s m i l e

Ronny: Elaborate.

Elmer: Laugh from the bottom of your heart, at the top of your lungs, like you’re having fun, like you’re overjoyed. Woo me like one of your French girls, bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked, lips parted just so in the latest fashion of joie de vivre. Tell me how you smile, you who are called a demon, and what makes you really and truly happy.

Ronny: What? No. Who are you.

Huey: Addict. Smile Junkie. Joyster.

Ronny: Listen. Before you are two buttons. The red one can get you permanently clean on the spot. The blue one gets you a one-time BSOD except the :( is a :). Choose wisely.

Elmer: :)

Ronny:

Ronny: This is the most difficult, most challenging, most unfeasible wish ever asked of me. You ask for what is impossible now, nigh impossible in the near future, and forever the unlikeliest of the unlikely to occur.

Huey: Oh, God, don’t encourage him.

Elmer: so what I’m hearing is that there’s a chance

Huey: Elmer, remember when I asked you “would a man who had no personal experience with happy smiles be able to give them to others?” and you went ‘point taken?’ Think carefully.

Elmer: So, what you want to do, Ron, what you do in this sort of situations is you attach yourself to someone else in similar smileless straits, straits sans smiles to quote your French girls, and you make them your pet—pet project, yeah, and you just, you know, do what it takes until they give you a laugh right from the gut. Ron, I betcha anything you’ll be able to smile after that, I mean, we’re talking my tried and true methods here. And partner, if we reunite, smile then, because you owe me—I love ya, Ron, but I’ll find you, and you’d better be glad that you met me again. ‘I can smile now! How d’ya like them apples?!’ …I’ll even take a reason like that, so please, show me your smile.

Ronny: Methods?

Huey: His only one.

Ronny: Has it ever worked?

Huey: No.

Elmer: It worked on you.

Huey: You know which party he meant.

Elmer: Look, I was going to suggest that Ronny stick close to Maiza, what with the dead brother and other dead so-and-sos being a real bummer and all, but... I guess I could wish for Ronny to tag alone with me until I smile for real instead...

Ronny: Wait. Hold on. Wait, demon, there’s still time to change my wish—I hadn’t pressed it y—Maiza! I wish for Maiza! My mind is made up.

Elmer: Ah, you’ve chosen the blue button after all. I figured you would. 

Huey: Dare I ask why you didn’t wish for my smile?

Elmer: Well... When weighing my options, I like to choose the one that has the highest chance of succeeding.

Huey: So that’s why you didn’t wish for a genuine smile to call your own, Mr. Empty Ending?!

Elmer: Words can’t hurt me :). Not if I’m empty, right? You should try it sometime oh wait you are. What was that about failed methods, again? Cheer up! You know you want to you. You’ll never best me in the sans émotions racket, so you may as well give up and smile. Come on. Give up. Embrace failure. It’s futile to grieve the dead, but to be so delusional as to try and Lazarus-Frankenstein your wife when not even Ronny can? Move on. Smile for me like your French mother.

Ronny: Mortal, heed me as I literally drown out your words via an ocean of hurt.

Elmer: Huey’s mom :) would know  :) a thing or two about that :). Hey, Huey, look to your right, I think I can see Monica from here! Smile and wave!

Huey: The line is breaking up—sounds—gargling?—can’t hear—

Elmer: Remember, demon, that with but a smile you summon meeeee!

#Baccano! #Baccano #Ronny Schiatto #Huey Laforet #Elmer C. Albatross #Frankenstein won't be written for another 107 years of course. #I know my comedic exchanges are not -uh- funny (see those immortals superlatives reblogs) but I couldn't resist writing this one out. #I was jotting down some thoughts about Elmer not taking advantage of B!'s three Ds of insta-rewards (devouring / demon's wish / drugs) okay #and when I was reviewing the nitty-gritty of the wish itself—where Ronny can't smile on command #so Elmer gives him the hang with and help out Maiza condition with the reasoning that Ronny will smile at the end of it— #I realized :Oh. Elmer you absolute cad. That's your thing. The only thing you ever seem to try these days AND HOW'S THAT WORKED OUT? #Then there's Ronny (making the mistake of) admitting the wish is uniquely difficult. Uh oh. #Elmer *thrives* off the challenging cases. The worst of the problem children. Why? Because *he* is The Most Challenging Case of All. #I have thousands of words of notes/draft fragments for a write-up about how Elmer is drawn to and fixates on the series' mini-Elmers. #Anyway I reread Ronny's 'it's too difficult' objection and could HEAR Huey say you poor stupid fool you've encouraged him #next thing you know I abandon the notes-jotting to spend way too much time writing this post #disclaimer: Huey and his mother are never said to be living in a French village.

[exeggcute]

noelle and I watched that “they/them” movie yesterday and it was decidedly Not Good but I do somewhat appreciate being part of a demographic that the national broadcasting company feels compelled to badly pander to. although has NBC ever pandered to anyone in any way other than badly?

#among my gripes with the weird writing and generally weak plot I still can't tell whether this movie was like. #attempting to make a statement About transmisogyny or if it was just being transmisogynist. either way not great. #but the single review I read of the movie beforehand was mostly positive and yet completely failed to mention this? #like the conversion camp guy 'respects' the AFAB nonbinary person insofar as he doesn't force them to bunk with the girl campers #and does misgender them by calling them a dude (while going on a rant about how Biological Sex Matters) #but when the trans girl camper gets 'found out' (...) he's like no you have to go bunk with the boys. you fucking liar. etc. #which IS a reasonably accurate microcosm of double standards wrt ASAB but there is no way that was the intent... this is fucking nbc

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Never Been Kissed

adult demi mm romance

a film studies graduate managing his town’s dying drive in theatre is desperate to save it, and tries to convince a reclusive local director to show her lost media film

also his ex crush/best friend is the new social media manger there

#never been kissed #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #ok first i was looking at GR to write my little blurb and it and all the reviews ONLY mention the romance plot none of the old movie subplot #that was the only interesting thing to me but i guess the romance part is more significant #the set up of the romance plot which is all mentioned in the blurb was kinda stupid and unnecessary #like i don’t get the conflict between them at the start. lmao what was the point in the email thing. just to make it immediately awkward? #would the history & suddenly in the same job not do that just as well? #i was fully expecting the other email guy to show up late in the book or something but that was just. never mentioned again #the mc is. pretty infuriating tbh #half the conflict at the start is them not getting a chance to have. conversation because the MC keeps stopping the LI from telling him anyt #thing. either by saying “i don’t want to talk” or just cutting him off with what he assumed he’s gonna say. #even later in the book he keeps cutting him off which still causes problems!!!!! #“he promised we could communicate but was keeping a secret” bitch you never let him tell you anything #alloro people are so annoying. also he’s like an annoying film fan. like not in the misogynistic way but…. #+ he’s come out as gay but feels like something isn’t quite right identifies as queer (idk why he can’t use gay….what’s with people thinking #that asexuality and gayness are mutually exclusive identities). like yay for queer also but?? both are true #overall: sure i guess?? i liked the grumpy old lady. everything else i didn’t care about much #uh there’s also a ‘totem pole’ misuse reference somewhere in there

[ficsforeren]

Im crying shaking throwing up and punching my mattress now i was bawling my eyes out sobbing quietly and my sis on the other side of room was like “Are you okay” I AM NOT I’m telling you. They love each other so much why is life so difficult 😞 I just.. i love Eren so much it’s so hard to breathe. I hope they live happily for a long time in parallel universe… but srsly how dare you broke my heart kana. now i’m gonna go cry to sleep again

AKFJALSDKFKL I'M SO SORRY

#yeah they did love each other so much 😭😭😭 #but i mean... #how else was i supposed to end the story? #like it won't make any sense if have a happy ending right? #there is no way they can be happy in a world like that #but at least she kept her promise in the end about her writing him a poem #and he kept his promise to armin too cause now jean is safe #in a way they have both accomplished something but yeah they couldn't be together i'm sorry 😭 #BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING BABYYYY #eternity review #kana answers stuff

[atthebell-moved]

tumblr needs to stop letting me schedule things i have evil thoughts after being put in jail and instead of me forgetting them i just schedule them for later

#bell.txt #listen i try to be nice so so so so much its just im old and cranky and tired #i like. literally went to grad school for media comprehension (textual interpretation) its so painful to be in this fandom #need to write that hermeneutics thing but i spilled juice on it like a month ago and then spilled hot chocolate on it #foreboding but im jewish so i ignore g-d's opinion and do shit anyway #wheres that midrash about the sages arguing and that guy who g-d says is right but hes also like. brother peer review is real #thats possibly the funniest way of describing that passage help i need to look that up again #i digress ignore me im losing my mind