#headinthegalaxy

[hellogalaxyisland]

The more fool, Madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen

Shakespeare -- Twelfth Night

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[hellogalaxyisland]

I always write words of depression

of despair 

of desperation or angst 

my thoughts are most clear when they are in tune with my sadness

I find peace 

resting in my longing 

But today I draw words of joy 

I picture bubbles of laughter 

my heart beats a rhythm of gratitude 

my flavor of happiness taints the grey skies

the pink sunset fails to hide her smile 

to stifle her bliss 

it can’t be stopped 

it’s too good 

the lilacs smell too nice 

I’m just happy 

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[hellogalaxyisland]

My body is tired and my soul is worn 

Even in this time of quiet I find no peace 

The pulse in my veins hits my head like a drum 

A chaotic collision of apprehension and fear 

Inuring my joy and dominating my rest 

when will the alarm cease to sound?

When will my heart be allowed a moment of stillness?

I ask for peace, I ask for patience 

It’s goodness I lack not self-control 

My hands slip from the handlebars for only a moment 

My balance is lost 

I am found to not be capable 

I seem to have lost touch with my commander 

I request my orders but the mission is vague 

Is it faith or confidence I lack?

With my weaknesses displayed like a sail above my head

I am desperate and I wonder

What is the difference between humility and humiliation?

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[hellogalaxyisland]

The world, even the smallest parts of it, is filled with things you don't know.

Sherman Alexie -- The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

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[hellogalaxyisland]

I walk on the sand. Stepping over rocks and letting my feet sweep gently over the shallow pools. I walk because it is pleasant, not because I’m going anywhere. I breathe in the salt and the sea. I breathe out my troubles. They blow across the tall grass and scatter among the not-yet-melted hailstones. They will drip away just like the hail. I have decided to forget them. I have decided to remember how much I love the cool air drifting through my throat and filling my lungs. I relish in the sorrow of the grey sky. I let the sadness of the sea gulls’ cry comfort my own sadness. The peace I feel has not manifested from joy but was found in the intensity of my surroundings. In my own powerlessness. The ocean’s waves are massive. Threatening. Terrifying. It calms me.

 I watch the ground as I continue walking. I see sand, and grass, and water, and stone. I have forgotten everything else and am focused entirely on the way the sand, and grass, and water, and stone sink beneath my feet and replenish the moment I lift them, creating a new and more beautiful pattern than the one I destroyed. I laugh at my destruction and the new creation it feeds. I am happy that I am not important enough to destroy permanently what God made to be beautiful.  

 I look up just as the sun shatters the density of the sky. It crashes through the grey without any inhibitions or insecurities. The cool air disperses and the hairs on my arms relax in its warmth. I cry for no reason but that it seems to be the right time. My tears fall onto the ground and become a part of the earth and the sea. They don’t matter. I reach down and dig my fingers into the sand and the feel the cold. When I bring my hand out, the wind drifts over my wet hand and it is freezing. The wind is loud, my hand is freezing, the world is silent, my arms are warm. I look at the sun again and cannot see. It is so bright. Somehow the intensity of my surroundings has captured the things bursting from my heart which I am tasked to hold onto. They aren’t gone, just released. This place understands me like no one else can and I finally can relax. I rest here for a moment.

 I don’t know where I am. I’ve never been in this exact place before, but it feels like so good. I wish I could go there.

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[hellogalaxyisland]

It’s easy to feel failure 

people do it every day

an overwhelming dread that 

you will be found out

found to be lacking 

we find safety in mediocrity 

comfort in the crowd 

I ponder our fears 

do we fear failure 

or being noticed 

success 

is just as terrifying 

we are suspicious 

that satisfaction is not to be discovered 

that contentment will elude us 

even at the very top 

what if I never settle 

Is there such as thing 

as cowboy contentment

I think instead of striving for peace

I have limited myself

and sought things I believe will give me peace

what a joke 

what a waste of energy

I’m embarrassing myself 

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[hellogalaxyisland]

Lost is me 

In a field of fears 

I pluck one

My eyes cannot see

Beyond the ocean of blades

Another has grown 

Before it fell from my fingers 

Lost is me 

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[hellogalaxyisland]

We are stubborn fools.

Our hearts claim ownership over whatever they choose. Faithfully loyal. 

Terrified of losing what we have decided is ours, we push away anything else that threatens our already difficult occupants. 

So many of our heart-residents are being wasted in cold storage. 

We have limited ourselves.

Underestimated our occupancy capacity.

Is it just loyalty, or is it love? 

I wonder if I know the difference. 

When our heart-residents move out -- is it a routine I will miss? Or is it love I have lost? 

Perhaps If I give less love, there might be less to take away. 

Or, perhaps If I give more, the loss will feel smaller. 

Like a small bite from a big apple rather than a big bite from a grape. 

I don’t know.

As we know, I am a fool. 

A fool clinging desperately to her heart-residents, afraid of being left with only one.

A fool who knows full well the one is sufficient.

But clinging none the less. 

#cantsleep #latenightpoetry #latenightthoughts #poetryandprose #journalentry #galaxyisland #hellogalaxyisland #headinthegalaxy #pondering #justfortumblr #beautifulwords #amateurpoet #writers on tumblr #writerscreed