#he's an emotionally constipated himbo your honor

[chonkymoth]

going off of that twitter post about how Nandor is fucking giddy when talking w the Baron about how Guillermo killed all the vamps in the theatre and how he doesn't want Guillermo to change:

Nandor is happiest, or at least proudest, when recalling his own days as a fearsome warrior — his acts in conquering, slaughtering, and pillaging. He talks so highly of himself from that point in his life. And it begs the question if he considers vampirism a curse, at least in part, because he is no longer that once ruthless leader and fighter. In terms of overall vampires, he's honestly just kind of average it seems. And when it comes to Guillermo he's downright soft, to the point that multiple other vampires have pointed out that his feelings towards Guillermo and the way he treats him are odd, to say the least, for a vampire/familiar relationship.

But the thing is, I think the thing he respects the most about Guillermo is those same qualities he once had. He sees Guillermo as someone who is powerful and strong and fully capable of holding his own (and tbf he's very right). Him wholeheartedly vouching to the others to spare Guillermo in the name of the "warrior's code"? Yeah, that. And he knows vampirism changed that about him. I think, deep in that emotionally constipated little brain of his, he's so scared of Guillermo getting turned and no longer having those qualities he loves and respects, and instead turning out just like Nandor. We as a fandom talk a lot about how Nandor is scared Guillermo would leave him — and Nandor's said as much — and I do think that's a very good chunk of his hesitation to turn Guillermo, but I think a lot of it, too, is that he's scared of Guillermo turning out just like he has.

Yet, when Nandor sought out a wife last season, he wanted someone devoid of those exact qualities he seems to relish and uphold. He wanted someone that basically just lifted him up rather than be his equal, his counterpart. Nandor got rid of people who bested him in a fight, who were too pretty or alluring, who were funnier than him, etc. And he found, seemingly, the perfect person for him within those tight guidelines....and then proceeded to change every single thing about her. Until finally changing her to be an exact copy of Guillermo's boyfriend. Aka: he desires what Guillermo desires.

Which leads to the question of what does Guillermo desire? Well, that's not nearly as hard to piece together since he's much more open about his feelings. Guillermo desires and values the qualities that, he thinks, come with being a vampire — being ruthless, powerful, and attractive. It's the whole reason he finally said fuck it and went to Derek, because he was so tired of being him. He never realized that he already held all of those qualities he valued ("I don't feel powerful. I don't feel sexy" that's because you already were those things, love). It's just that he discovered the hard way that those qualities weren't really intrinsic to being a vampire. But, back to the point I was trying to make; basically, he values all the qualities Nandor had/has. Former fearless ruler and warrior of a nation, who had 37 wives, and is now a bloodthirsty and terrifyingly strong vampire who fucks around with anyone he wants? Check, check, and check.

So, if Guillermo desires Nandor and Nandor desires what Guillermo does, then Nandor is realistically looking for someone that compliments him and is equivalent to him. Someone who he recognizes to have all of the qualities that are fundamental to who he is and was. Man, I wonder who that could be.... And honestly? I think Nandor is finally starting to connect all these dots himself. Which is just adding to his fear of Guillermo changing in any way. Because he likes and respects who Guillermo has become over these past seasons. And I'm so scared and excited to see how he takes Guillermo being turned, both now and after he sits with the information for a while, because, realistically, Guillermo hasn't changed, not really. But will Nandor realize that?

#he's an emotionally constipated himbo your honor #anyways that's enough of me being on my bullshit for today #sorry for the random meta drop yall #but if they dont fuck soon im gonna go crazy mark my words #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #wwdits meta #nandermo #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #mine #rambles

[theelast-straw]

10 BL Boys I Want Carnally

10 BL Boys That Make Me Feel Things™

(not sexual, not romantic but a secret third thing)

okay so I wasn't exactly tagged in this but I saw several people doing this and I'll take just about any excuse to scream about my favorite characters so I'm just going to very sneakily join in on this trend 👀

there is absolutely no ranking to these bc I couldn't rank them if I wanted to

(also I changed the name a little bc my ace ass is literally physically incapable of wanting anyone carnally but I still have lots of thoughts lmao)

1) Tharn (The Sign)

I mean. is literally anyone surprised that this is where we're starting?

he's the nicest person out there. he can kick your ass if he wants to. he lost his parents at a young age and is absolutely convinced that everyone he loves is doomed to die and he keeps seeing visions of people dying and he's told again and again that those he has wronged in a past life - which he doesn't even remember - are still out to get him and yet he has so much kindness left for the world??

also he can be such a little shit and knows exactly how to tease Phaya back I love him so goddamn much.

(also that mole-)

2) Kim (Kinnporsche)

was he also on my characters I'd hit with my car list? maybe. and what about it.

I love him so much. he's such a badass but he's such a loser. famous singer who falls for a fan he was supposed to be investigating but is too emotionally constipated to admit it. badass son of a mafia family who can kick ass but only if he wants to. who does it like him honestly

(it also helps that he's played by just about the prettiest man alive)

3) Babe (Pit Babe)

did I start watching this show ironically? yes. is every mention of alphas and mpreg and that mama/papa thing hitting me like a brick and causing me 9000 psychic damage every single time? also yes. did I absolutely fall in love with the show and just about every character in it? you bet your fucking ass I did.

but I especially love Babe. he's just so babygirl. special alpha man who has to act tough and strong but just wants to be babied by his dumbass loser (affectionate) alpha boyfriend. like, he's actually so goddamn soft?? I love him.

4) Guy (Bake Me Please)

I think we all knew this was coming. I was literally gushing about him for half of the episodes. Guy my beloved. that show did not deserve you.

he spends the entire show supporting his crush's every decision and trying to make sure he's okay literally how could you not love this man

(yes he was a petty bitch for like 5 minutes there but he immediately apologized for it the next episode. properly. unlike certain other people-)

5) Sprite (Twins)

he's so himbo coded. himbo of all himbos. the himboest. not a brain cell in that head. he's my little dumbass I love him.

he deserves so much better than what he's being put through. someone please just love and support him for who he is. and also take him away from that family

(please talk to your boyfriend tho I am begging)

6) Wei Wuxian (The Untamed)

MY BELOVED. I could write essays about him. he's such a great character I love him so fucking much. if you ever had to bear witness to me talking about him.. I am so sorry.

sassy emo bitch with a flute and a tragic backstory who's seen as evil by just about everyone but only ever had the best intentions. absolute fucking dumbass. kicks ass. always smiling despite the circumstances. loves his siblings so damn much. doomed by the narrative. what more could you possibly ask for

7) Zhou Zishu (Word of Honor)

I'm trying so damn hard to keep this list to one character per show and it really took me a while to decide if I wanted to include him or Wen Kexing but ultimately it was Zhou Zishu for me

just.. god. him. assassin sect leader just trying to retire who keeps getting dragged into the biggest bullshit but doesn't really mind bc the bullshit comes with a mysterious pretty man. also that whole god damn nail thing. I have so many thoughts and feelings about that but this post would get too long if I got started on those-

(also actually pulling the "I'm literally dying" card to get out of chores is so fucking valid of him. more characters should do that)

8) Milk (Choco Milk Shake)

he is quite fucking literally a reincarnated cat, of course I love him. I could list reasons for why I love him but it would be the exact same reasons just about every cat person on earth lists for why they love cats so. but here's a quick summary, just in case:

petty. dramatic. knocks over glasses. silently loves you so fucking much.

9) Tew (My Dear Gangster Oppa)

I really did not expect to love him this much? greenest of green flags (except for the plot line we shall not talk about). can and will kill people and is fine with it (seriously it is so refreshing to see a mafia character not having a huge moral dilemma about being in the mafia). both a badass mafia man and a gamer guy who doesn't know how to talk to people and is absolutely whipped for his gamer bf.

also scars make a person just about 110x more attractive I don't make the rules. even if the scars are weird and yellow, it's the thought that counts.

10) Tian (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

I? love him??

I just love how he sets out to do something for someone he didn't even know because he feels like this person deserves that much at least and how he ends up genuinely loving and caring for those kids and the village and this inner conflict he's having the entire time but hiding oh so well and how he actually calls out his parents on their rich people bs and-

tagging everyone who reads this far and wants to do it. seriously. I mean it. if you want to do this, please go ahead and say I tagged you. I love reading everyone's thoughts.

#this list is just me going “i love him sm” ten times in a row lmao #apparently my type is just pretty man who is secretly a loser nerd #the sign the series #kinnporsche #pit babe the series #bake me please the series #twins the series #the untamed #word of honor #choco milk shake #my dear gangster oppa #a tale of thousand stars #thai bl #kbl #danmei

[write-like-wright]

Should you date them: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition

Miles Edgeworth:

depends on what Edgeworth we're talking about

absolutely do NOT date Bratworth

disrespects women

doesn't realise short people have feelings

wears that gaudy af jacket

doesn't want to date you anyways, is in a committed relationship with the law, baby

original trilogy Edgeworth is a bit harder to gauge

very emotionally constipated

generally awkward to be around

expect many unintentional staring contests

simultaneously cocky and insecure

this is the kind of a relationship you enter thinking you can "fix" him

spoiler: you can't

his fashion sense is getting better though

gotta be really buff if he walks up all those stairs to his office

you'd have to compete with a ton of other women and who wants to deal with Wendy Oldbag? scary stuff

he's probably still not all that interested in dating but is also starting to warm up to general human contact lmao

attempt to date at your own risk, though I'd advise against it (maybe casually drop hints you're a Steel Samurai fan? idk)

Chief prosecutor Edgeworth though? HELL YES, BABEY

that man has matured and gotten himself some therapy

can actually recognize human emotions!!

that new coat and the glasses?? mwah chef's kiss

a (childless) DILF

less subtle in his weebdom and who doesn't love a confident man

has lots of cool friends who'd like you

still a bit aloof so have patience

but hell yes, date, hell MARRY him idc

Franziska von Karma

Franzy is a baby but won't ever admit it

somehow even more emotionally constipated than her "little" brother

do you like strong, mean women? me too, bro

if someone is mean to you she will wreck them

absolutely walks up to the counter at McDonald's like "excuse me, you fool, they asked for no pickles"

needs gentle reminders to be polite to people

would call you by your full name all the time and it's probably more than a little weird

boy do I have good news for you if you're into BDSM

pretends not to care - cares a lot

date but also, like, go to couples counselling for a bit

Diego Armando/Godot

Diego is hot and he knows it

very, VERY cocky

like, kind of a douche but his heart is generally in the right place

tries to be macho

expect lots and lots of coffee dates... like, five a day lol

would always have coffee ready for you in the morning... afternoon... evening... 3 am... whenever you'd like it, basically

calls you kitten

calls everyone kitten though

calls Edgeworth kitten kinda hot ngl

probably kinda overprotective

very supportive, though

a bit of a himbo

probably never sleeps

date if you like hot douchey guys basically

Godot really is the ungodly cool guy with a mask

daft punk enthusiast

has many, many weird rules

more douchey than ever

would kill for you

ngl he kinda creeps me out, I wouldn't recommend it

Klavier Gavin

yes, you should date Klavier

not even a question

a literal rock star

such a nice boy

kinda questionable fashion, but he makes it work somehow

eurotrash

be ready to deal with the fangirls

would be worth it in the end

hot af

would write songs for/about you

he's probably the smoothest bitch alive

would take you on trips all the time

he's loaded, expect fancy gifts

probably spends too much time on Instagram, tho

Simon Blackquill

baby Blackquill is 100% boyfriend material

what a nice young man

weeb deep respect for the Japanese culture

honorable intentions

would treat you so well

breaks up with you without an explanation one day and disappears for like, 10 years

AA5 and onwards Blackquill is... an interesting one

listens almost exclusively to traditional Japanese music and My Chemical Romance

probably has a hard time adjusting to life outside

needs lots and lots of therapy

kinda scary at times

would probably need discipline and rules in his day to day life after everything

like, set his bedtime or something

can be a jerk and tease you affectionately

can also be a jerk in general, please tell him off, he's scaring the wendy's drive-through employee

go bird watching with him

I would date him but I understand why you wouldn't

he's hot

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

gorgeous, dahling

a literal disney prince

tries to impress you with his knowledge of your culture and it's both endearing and embarrassing

what's crackalackin homies = how do you do fellow kids

massive foodie

kinda ranty tho

can go for 8 hours straight

unfortunately, i'm talking about sermons

can be pretty insensitive at times

spends a lot of time with his partnered detective, kinda sus

at the very least date him to steal his haircare products

Barok van Zieks

what a scandalous man

have you seen those curves

more breast and thigh than a bucket of kfc

built like an avenger

very hot

probably unaware of it, though

what are emotions

family man

spends too much on "wine"

you suspect he may be a vampire

incredibly meticulous

condescending

openly racist

like, date him after years of therapy and several racial/cultural sensitivity workshops or something

in the meantime flash him your ankle to test the waters if you're feeling extra saucy

Bonus: Kazuma Asogi

*smacks him* this bad boy can fit so much emotional trauma inside

literally good at everything

stumbles over his words at times, though

hypes you up so much for the lamest of reasons

confident boy

so hot-headed

goes from 0 to 100 and back in a matter of seconds

very honorable

do NOT doubt his ability to get you off or he'll make you choke on it

cute laugh

if you say you wouldn't date him you're lying to yourself and even worse you're lying to me i'm so sorry for looking at your boyfriend ryuu

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #godot #diego armando #klavier gavin #simon blackquill #nahyuta sahdmadhi #barok van zieks #kazuma asogi #the great ace attorney #headcanons #i'm so sorry for this i just wanted to post something lmao #come say hi send me some anon hate or some requests I welcome all #gyakuten saiban #dai gyakuten saiban

[softnoblecyno]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion Additional Tags: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, he cares about him but he's allergic to saying it, Hijinks & Shenanigans, jaskier overreacts about a spider lol, and then geralt overreacts even MORE, Fluff and Humor, working title was "geralt's the koolaid man", Himbo Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, i mean just for the moment but it counts, Pining, but not to worry it's, Mutual Pining, they're idiots your honor, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Crack Treated Seriously

Summary: “Jaskier,” Geralt growls, feeling at his wits end, “Did you scream my name because you saw a bug?”

“A spider,” Jaskier corrects, then frowns at Geralt. His gaze flicks behind him and then back to Geralt. “Did you break through the wall?”

also posted here on tumblr!

#witcher #witcher tv #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #fanfic #my writing #jaskalt #txt