a love letter from the Narrator to the reader
(Okay I’m posting it. It’s kind of long so I’ll put it under the cut, with a brief tag list at the end)
My dearest Reader,
You truly are the pinnacle of beauty. Every day I look at you and ask the stars how they could have made something more divine than themselves, and every night I ponder what I have done to deserve you and what I must do to keep you. You are more than my muse, you are my love itself, my hope, and my heart. Without you, this world would be nothing. My stories ached for you before I found you. As exquisite as they are, they almost wane in comparison to your magnificence.
How fortunate I am to have met you. I couldn’t bear to live in this world without you. You have shown me love and kindness beyond measure. You have blessed me with passion and prosperity for years to come. The bond we forged as narrator and reader strengthened me. Our connection is my greatest treasure. I know our fates are forever joined.
And yet, as I write this letter, I gaze upon the poems you have never read. I yearn for you, dear Reader. You have given me insurmountable joy and left me with an aching want. Even when we’re together, I pine for you. I crave for the touch of your lips and my name spoken from your tongue in the same manner I speak yours. You hand me a mug of tea and I become drunk on the passing touch of your fingers against mine. We sit only inches apart and yet the space between us is so vast, to my heart we may as well be on opposite sides of the universe. When you are with me, I couldn’t feel farther away.
It is only in my dreams that we are truly together. For in my dreams, you share the same feelings as I. We dance under the moonlight and I tell you I will love you as long as the stars burn in the sky. It is in my dreams that you fall asleep to me running my fingers through your hair, whispering the sweet story of our freedom. Our happily ever after.
I wake up knowing that these dreams are wishes. They are unfulfilled longings made only real by my writing. And so I write our stories, these saccharine tales in which you hold your hands in mine and kiss me softly underneath the stars of a universe that has not kept us apart. You tell me that we are together, and we always will be. You promise me that you will never leave. You say you love me, in the same manner of the word as I, you.
It is transient, but for a moment, I believe you. I lift my pen from the paper and I am once again faced with the reality that you have promised me no such love. There is only one thin apartment wall and a universe between us.
Perhaps one day, I will tell you this. Perhaps then you will love me in the nature I so covet. Until then, I suppose all I can do is yearn.
Yours sincerely,
The Narrator
OKAY WHEW IM ACTUALLY POSTING THIS!!!
Everyone please a big thank you to my beta reader, @vellichorom for being my beta reader and giving me the courage to actually post this. They made this process so much easier and seriously relieved a lot of my anxiety.
I would also like to thank @give-soup-please for offering to beta as well! Part of the reason I’ve decided to just go ahead and post this is because I want to do it before I chicken out. Any advice or critique you may have for me is seriously appreciated!! I love your work and I take so much inspiration from you so thank you so much!!
And lastly I’d like to thank @continentalblue for posting about tspud and effectively getting me into it. This letter is only a very small piece of what I’ve written, but something about the Narrator has me writing like crazy, which is a wonderful feeling.
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I Believe...Steddie
I normally don't mind angst (though I avoid drama fics in general). Miscommunication is the biggest trope in romance, so I'm all for it, but for some reason Steve x Eddie fics / drabbles where Eddie still thinks of Steve as Steve THE KING Harrington always sit weirdly for me. Sometimes, if the Upside Down didn't happen (AUs in general) or pre-UD setting, maybe -- sure, then that could work. But close to canon fics where Eddie lives and Steve legit confesses to him? Always just -- strikes me as wrong.
Finally realized why -- it's literally the antithesis of canon Eddie. Canon! Eddie is quick to acknowledge Steve has changed. He literally runs up to him in the Upside Down while a bunch of madness is happening and where he has every right to be consumed by his own shit-tastic situation, but instead, he's telling Steve how he is a great guy and has changed.
Can Eddie be bitchy and prejudice? Yes.
Does Eddie have grudges against jocks / the popular crowd? Yes.
But he also goes full on bowing gentlemen for cheerleaders (going out of his way to help Chrissy and make her smile) and he's quick to acknowledge Steve's not that same popular AH anymore.
With Steve's bitchiness not aimed at him, Eddie would be eating his Honeycomb and snickering when old habits popped back up, and maybe he'd feel conflicted about jocky Steve, complaining about going to games or something until somebody smacked some sense into him. Totally believe tension and disbelief about one liking the other or some bias about things, but I just can't see Steve proclaiming his love or whatever and Eddie assuming it is a trap or trick or prank or something.
Maybe he'd think Steve was confused. Maybe he'd assume they were doomed, but I can't see him blaming Steve for that or blowing up their relationship IF Eddie accepted the confession and they started dating. Eddie's way more down on himself.
If someone can explain how it makes sense, please do. I'd love to enjoy all Steddie tropes, and that one seems popular lately, but where my brain sees so many problems with them getting to the confession point or even a number of big arguments that could happen afterward due to outside aspects, those two strike me as highly tactile, highly clingy romantics who would be convinced they were the height of discrete while practically fused, constantly touching and being snide little judgy dudes together.
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