jaybren

[jaybren]

[jaybren]

EARS!!!

COVID finally caught me after four years of avoiding it.

I was ready for the coughing and the throat and the fever and the chills, but why did no one warn me about the ear crackling?

Every time I swallow, my ear drums throw a mixed styrofoam bubble wrap festival, and it might just drive me insane.

#rant #covid #covid isn't over #covid finally caught me #sick post #crinkle crinkle crackle makes jaybren go cray cray #first day I passed out and then I. woke up 28 hours later and I can't sleep

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“Is it okay if I draw fanart of your fanfic?👉🏼👈🏼”

My brother in Christ we shall have a spring wedding

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those posts always go around that are like “if you’re on Tumblr and you’re over 25 blah blah blah” but honestly if you’re on Tumblr and you’re under 25, I don’t know how the fuck you found this place. like I came here when it was actually kind of cool and then just never left because all my stuff was here. what’s your excuse

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Wild Wild Berry

Young man went a'hunting, vain and cherry Swore he would love me oh so dearly But his oaths were falsely made So I fed him the berries of the woody nightshade

Lie low, cruel Randall Yes all you young maids who do go to the woods With men who sup quite merry They will go for your throat If you take the chance to gloat How you fed him the wild wild berry

#wild wild berry #response verse #alternative perspective #reimagined verse #the wild wild berry #Andrew King #sam lee #poem #song verse #this was stuck in my head all day

[jaybren]

It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?

[jaybren]

Tanaka-Kun is Always Listless

I don't understand this, and I am completely confused by this. I've only seen clips, so the fact that my feed is mainly shippers / BL fans might be making my sneak peeks biased, but Tanaka repeatedly proposes to Ohta, so my brain assumes BL, but Ohta brushes it off so regularly that from the clips I've seen, I assumed it was one-sided, but after reading the blurb, I'm just confused.

Is this series worth watching? Or is it a lot of cute scenes that have little resolution?

#is bl? #Is it not? #Ohta's dismissals make me unsure if I want to get into the series #slice of life is wasted on me #Tanaka-kun is always listless

[jaybren]

The inevitability of this is haunting, but it also makes me wonder if Anakin could use one fo the younglings in cargo to do the sacrifice to bring back Obi-Wan, basically making the kid pick one friend to sacrifice to save the rest, so it is the kid  doing the sacrifice / making the payment and not technically him.  Anakin: pick the one you want to save most because if this doesn't work, we'll be right back here with you doing somebody else until it does 

“Haunt me then”- was so so painfully good. Sharp and cutting as stepping on a piece of glass with the lingering ache from the piece you can’t get out.

I have to ask- what happens when Obi-Wan dies in this verse. Because I don’t imagine Anakin aging or dying naturally. Would he give up and return to the Force if Obi-Wan passes? Or will he try and resurrect him?

And if Anakin dies, does he return to the Force as a whole being or is he permanently shredded into his harshest and coldest components? is there a Force echo of Anakin watching the entire experience helplessly as his body is peppered by his ID?

so many questions!!! That’s because of your excellent writing!

wouldn’t it be sorta cool if obi-wan dies and anakin drags him to the night sisters for resurrection, a few younglings in cargo bay, but it’s not enough. The sacrifice isn’t a sacrifice. They’re just bodies to anakin, so the magic won’t work.

But nothing matters to Anakin, outside of having Obi-Wan alive, so he literally cannot resurrect him. He tries to sacrifice people from his old life, but the magic won’t take because he doesn’t care if they live or die now so it’s not a sacrifice it’s just blood.

like it would be so bittersweet tragic if anakin cannot resurrect him and also he cannot die to join him. Padmé created a monster truly, obi-wan taking him and leashing him was just a stop gap. There’s no making a monster not a monster. There’s no taming him.

that’s how ghost stories start tbh

[jaybren]

Final Month on KU!

He took up the sword for love, but his heart longs for a healer’s touch.  Zayn dreams of a knight. He paints him. Though he can’t see his face, he knows that this man is his mate. For fae, that’s everything. Blinded to everything else, the fae artist has no idea how powerful his influence is on Emidio, a healer’s apprentice desperately in love with him. Young and foolish, he accepts a position as a squire. War and duty separates them. The once gentle Emidio has no choice but to face death upon the battlefield, becoming someone that no one expected his gentle soul could be, but there is no sign it will lead him back to the man he loves…

…until an infatuated king commissions a portrait. 

Faced with the young man he had once rejected, Zayn comes face to face with the consequences of his thoughtlessness. His mate is a knight — but at what cost? And does he even have a chance when King Cristiano intends to make the newly knight Sir Emidio his own?

The Knight’s Fae Artist is a standalone mpreg gay fantasy medieval romance with extrovert/introvert (loud/shy artist/jock) pair, friends-to-lovers, hurt/comfort, and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.

#kindle unlimited #gay romance #mm romance #fated mates #mpreg #artist x knight #fae x mortal #friends to lovers #medieval romance #shifting this one over to a wide distribution #slowly moving books out of kindle unlimited

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This hurts.

My brain filling in "Eddie fell too early and Steve fell too late" hurt even worse.

enough with all the who fell first who fell harder shit. buck fell too early and eddie fell too late…isn’t that the most tragic thing you’ve ever heard.

#steddie #stranger things #Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson #This painful beautiful quote fits too many of my pairings well and it is torture #eddie munson #steve x eddie #gay tragic romance

[jaybren]

Fics I want to read but won't write...

Jamie Tartt is an alpha prima donna with a foot kissed by god and an ego as big as his cock. Roy Kent, a beta who not just made it but dominated in an alpha-dominated sport, transferred to Richmond for the end of his career because it was a well-known mainly beta team (Rupert was a beta man with a grudge) and now he's having to deal with the twat come around.

Everything stays the same until the 4AM practices start. Things start the same there, but then partway through Roy notices something off medically with him, but he's used to pushing through and he's been a beta his whole damn life, so there's no way anything is happening. He's no alpha or omega with some destined fated mate fuckery.

Until Amsterdam and something inside Roy just clicks. The first practice back, running Jamie through drills with his bike at the ready and chuffed about it, Roy finally realizes that his weird symptoms aren't just him aging or some ignorable bullshit. He's 'designation switching' which is rare and almost entirely done due to comfort/trust and proximity with a highly compatible mate.

Realizing seems to kick things into gear, and his now omega hormones slap Jamie across the face, but the little shit doesn't even act in a way that Roy could deny it was all for him as Jamie collapses to his knees begging Roy to let him hug him. He won't even get close to Roy without permission, and he's high on pre-heat pheromones.

But there's no way Roy Fucking Kent is letting Richmond lose their star player because his pre-heat kicks Jamie into a rut.

Roy goes full stiff upper lip, sending Jamie home to shower and sober up while Roy gets home and deals with the situation. In the end, he uses the motivation of mating during the off-season to get Jamie to not stalk Roy back home which will pretty much guarantee the alpha's rut.

Jamie continues the remainder of the season without issue, managing not to go into rut or have to take any meds that might've disqualified him from playing. Roy gets seen at his sister's hospital and gets suppressants to take him through the remainder of the season.

Only thing that changes from there on is Keeley continues being a total boss and friends with the pair. Maybe she's the one who realizes the designation switch first, or maybe she realizes that Jamie is 100% keyed into Roy like he is with whoever he dates and vice versa. No idea. Whoever finds out is respectful and keeps it to themselves, but eventually Roy brings it up to the Diamond Dogs that Jamie hasn't brought up the promise or done anything / say anything about the implications.

Diamond Dogs question how Roy feels about it, and Roy admits that he wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it, earning some cheers. He's advised to talk to Jamie, but while Ted is for immediate conversation to clear the air, maybe Beard and/or Trent and/or Higgins end up noting that this could be a distraction, so Roy decides to wait.

After the last game, Roy confronts Jamie, who interrupts, talking about how Roy doesn't have to stick to what he said. That there wouldn't be hard feelings. That Roy was basically presenting as an omega at a vulnerable time in front of a "well fit alpha" and that Roy just said what he said to get Jamie under control.

Roy, who has subtly worn a black collar that blends into his shirts so well it hasn't been noticed, takes it off and goes off on Jamie. He underlines that he means what he said. Commenting that if Jamie doesn't want him because he used to be a beta and he's not some pretty little delicate picture perfect model omega, then fine, but not to pretend it was Roy doing the rejecting.

Jamie says something about being pretty enough for the two of them, and that he likes the size of Roy's cock or something like that, suggesting he knows he could deep throat him and might be interested in getting fucked, but that he really, really needs to know this isn't a dream as he wanted to mate Roy since he first presented.

Heading him, Roy then kisses him. Jamie is 100% puppy dog alpha mode, but yeah, he's still a prick. It's just a prick to amuse Roy or when he gets the signal allowing him to be on the field. Clingy boys be clingy boys, wanting to basically be attached by the hip.

Roy still becomes the new manager. He's out and proud about it. Jamie lives up the husband of the first out and proud omega manager, though Roy reminds that he's technically not the first as there were some in the Netherlands and other managers for women's teams, but Jamie argues no London team has ever had one.

Keeley is 100% the godmother of their first kid.

#ted lasso #roy kent #jamie tartt #roy kent is a power bottom #roy x jamie #jamie x roy #roy kent x jamie tartt #Jamie Tartt is a service top with clingy sub tendencies #but he's also capable of absolutely going of the rails when Roy doesn't want to have to think #omegaverse #beta to omega

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All this crossbreeding phoenixes, and nobody went the distance.

Fawkes the Phoenix was based on a harpy eagle, howmcute would a kestrel phoenix be with a peacock tail and train?

this is a Good Opportunity considering i was never a big fan of fawkes’ movie design how about

#ayda aguefort #Arthur Aguefort has no chill #he fuck the phoenix #dimension 20 #why has no one used the GIF before? #no I did not understand the assignment #Brennan Lee Mulligan knows birds #I know nothing

[jaybren]

My favorite version of the later Jason and Tim relationship is the overprotective big brother Jason who is utterly furious that everyone is sleeping on the amazingly self-sacrificing idiot genius that Tim is.

Tim: ...so that's how I ended up in Bludhaven with a fake uncle.

Jason: ...

Tim: What?

Jason: Let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly before I respond. Your dad was murdered. Your stepmom, who never adopted you, was in a mental hospital. Dick was awol. Cass was still basically a baby as well and was finding herself. B was avoiding you because he felt guilty about getting your dad murdered.

Tim: He didn't-

Jason *speaking over him forcefully*: Then you dropped out of school, so no one could possibly miss you while you lived with a man who was a complete stranger to you and who knew you had money and no adults worth a damn in your life.

Jason *takes deep breath*: Why the fuck would you do that?!

Tim: Well, at first I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me and Batman needs Robin, but we also both needed some space to grieve. I had to make sure I was still available to Bruce while also leaving us some breathing room. Plus, Dick was out of town, so Bludhaven needed a vigilante anyway.

Jason: Okay, ignoring the twenty other things wrong with that statement, did it never occur to you that Bruce could just adopt you?

Tim: Well, Yeah. But he'd just adopted Dick, which was a really big deal for him, emotionally, you know? I was worried he'd feel bad if Bruce turned around and adopted me.

Jason: You were worried Dick would feel bad if Bruce adopted you when you had literally no one else?

Tim: Yeah. I was used to being alone anyway and you know how he can get when it comes to Bruce.

Jason: So you decided to move in with a strange man who was down on his luck and might, oh, I don't know, murder the weird, wealthy child whose bank account he had access to?!

Tim: I paid him. I never gave him direct access to my bank account.

Jason: Oh, well that makes everything fine then. He'd just have to force you to hand over more cash. Or hold you hostage against Bruce. Or blackmail you to keep you as his baby sugar daddy.

Tim: I set up everything about his fake identity so he couldn't try to blackmail me without looking really sketchy himself and he never knew about Robin, so what would he blackmail me with anyway?

Jason: How about telling Bruce what you did, since the charade was obviously mostly for him?

Tim: Then he'd risk losing everything while I moved in with Bruce. Nothing he could do against me would gain him anything, so what was the worst that could happen?

Jason: He could have murdered you in your sleep! He could've jumped you while you were vulnerable! He could've threaten to report you to a truancy officer if you didn't do something he wanted! He could've drugged you and sold you to traffickers! Fuck, I don't want to keep thinking about all the horrible things that could've happened to your idiotic baby past self. So let me just reiterate the important question: What the fuck were you thinking?!

Tim: Why does every funny story I tell you end up with you freaking out and yelling at me?

Jason: Because every story you think is a funny childhood anecdote is actually a fucking terrifying misadventure that you just somehow survived!

#literally Jason Todd being like: I've only had Tim for a day but if anything happened to him I'd kill everybody #Jason: I'd resurrect Tim too of course but first I'd murder everyone #Honestly probably: Jason: I'd kill everybody (especially Ra's and maybe the Joker again for good measure) #bat bros #jason todd #Tim drake #Tim Drake is woefully underappreciated

[jaybren]

I Believe...Steddie

I normally don't mind angst (though I avoid drama fics in general). Miscommunication is the biggest trope in romance, so I'm all for it, but for some reason Steve x Eddie fics / drabbles where Eddie still thinks of Steve as Steve THE KING Harrington always sit weirdly for me. Sometimes, if the Upside Down didn't happen (AUs in general) or pre-UD setting, maybe -- sure, then that could work. But close to canon fics where Eddie lives and Steve legit confesses to him? Always just -- strikes me as wrong.

Finally realized why -- it's literally the antithesis of canon Eddie. Canon! Eddie is quick to acknowledge Steve has changed. He literally runs up to him in the Upside Down while a bunch of madness is happening and where he has every right to be consumed by his own shit-tastic situation, but instead, he's telling Steve how he is a great guy and has changed.

Can Eddie be bitchy and prejudice? Yes.

Does Eddie have grudges against jocks / the popular crowd? Yes.

But he also goes full on bowing gentlemen for cheerleaders (going out of his way to help Chrissy and make her smile) and he's quick to acknowledge Steve's not that same popular AH anymore.

With Steve's bitchiness not aimed at him, Eddie would be eating his Honeycomb and snickering when old habits popped back up, and maybe he'd feel conflicted about jocky Steve, complaining about going to games or something until somebody smacked some sense into him. Totally believe tension and disbelief about one liking the other or some bias about things, but I just can't see Steve proclaiming his love or whatever and Eddie assuming it is a trap or trick or prank or something.

Maybe he'd think Steve was confused. Maybe he'd assume they were doomed, but I can't see him blaming Steve for that or blowing up their relationship IF Eddie accepted the confession and they started dating. Eddie's way more down on himself.

If someone can explain how it makes sense, please do. I'd love to enjoy all Steddie tropes, and that one seems popular lately, but where my brain sees so many problems with them getting to the confession point or even a number of big arguments that could happen afterward due to outside aspects, those two strike me as highly tactile, highly clingy romantics who would be convinced they were the height of discrete while practically fused, constantly touching and being snide little judgy dudes together.

#steddie #Steve x Eddie #Eddie Munson #Stranger Things #Only way Eddie doesn't see how Steve's changed is if the Upside Down doesn't exist but then Steve might not have changed #the second Steve asks him out Eddie is 100% in #won't accept anything different #Eddie is a drama king but he's the the sort to be clingy and pushy and cause problems by being too tactile and obvious in a homophobic town #which is why I 100% believe fics where Eddie and Steve fight over Steve refusing to come out or leave Hawkins #Despite also 100% believing Eddie would understand #frankly I fall for all the tropes EXCEPT Eddie not believing (in a canon compliant Upside Down having universe)that Steve has changed #where are my double date fics with Eddie and Steve taking out two girls only to get dumped because they spent more time chatting themselves #What about the fics where Eddie sets Steve up with a metalhead girl only for Steve to be like 'wow I'm super into this' #but then he realizes partway through he is 100% imaging she's Eddie #Or Steve setting up Eddie on a double date only to have a 'oh no I fucked up' moment as he realizes halfway through that he loves Eddie #Steve: Cool Eddie might score (*and it was at that moment he realizes he fucked up) I don't want Eddie to score #Give me hooking up duo who 'just like making out' and 'just aren't ready to get back out there yet' who feel pressured to do so #and they end up throwing hands over it and banging #Eddie: So...that happened. | Steve: Do you think Dustin was right? | Eddie: No way that butthead is right. | Steve: But what if he is? #Eddie: Obviously we can't tell him. | Steve: But we can still make out right? | Eddie: Fuck yeah #Give me dumb bets between guys friends inspired by Steve trying to relate to Eddie like he used to Tommy

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Reason #394 Why Twilight Disappoints Me

When Jacob imprinted on Renesmee, his first response to Edward and Bella wasn't to point out how the age gap is less than a third the gap between Edward and Bella.

#is imprinting on a baby creep? oh hell yes #is the fact that this is painted as romantic despite the parental reactions because 'tHeY'rE SoUlMAteS'? Hell yes #Of course the age gap is creepier and more apparent because IT IS A LEGIT BABY #What I'm saying is a doctorate on unhealthy relationships and abusive dynamics could be written on the series #and the character in the book do not clap back against each other for being a cloud of tocix #but I guess then that character would become too self-aware to participate in the universe without trying to kill off all the main characte #what I'm saying is I want a Rosaline (2022 film) on some minor character doing all the clap backing #Anna Kendrick's character maybe just to have her come back hilariously to a parady #And she'd become a hunter and go full Dean Winchester on their asses #I'd say Full Buffy but Exhibit A: Angel makes me think she'd be too empathetic

[jaybren]

Takes like this are why we love @neil-gaiman on Tumblr and bury other celebrities alive.

now that we know your take on platypuses, what is your take on PERRY the platypus

He's an excellent agent and a brave mammal.

#also love Ryan Reynolds and Linda Carter #Because they get it #and okay we bury them into obscurity but the statement stands #the alternative was eat them alive and that was all Hozier