#he’s just a wet paper bag

[scrambledslut]

he go mimis now😴

#he just a baby #soggy pathetic old man😌 #he’s just a wet paper bag #joel miller #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #the last of us tv series #the last of us hbo #the last of us #tlou #tlou hbo #joel tlou

[jestroer]

Not something you’d think about usually but I REALLY love interactions between Jimmy and Cleo this season. The absolute comedy. The dynamic is RIGHT THERE.

#like im not sure how to call this dynamic #shouty mean wet cat guy and a mean single mother #Jimmy is just always on their property and he is trying to be intimidating so bad but cleo turns on teacher voice and hes faltering like a #wet paper bag #just love them so much #jimmy solidarity #solidarity gaming #zombiecleo #limited life #limited smp #dont think its spoilers? #shitpost

[idiotwithoutagoodname]

Arthur bleeding out and looking like he just fell from a 15 story story building and was run over 3 times in a row and still managing to pull bitches and collect them like they are Pokémon is giving such babygirl vibes.

#my man is out here out flirting the horrors #and THESE BITCHES GAY GOOD FOR THEM GOOD FOR THEM #But fr i feel like both detective Nol and Oscar are so so ready to shove this man against a wall like #he’s literally just a pathetic wet paper bag why are y’all so exited for boys? #malevolent #malevolent pod #malevolent podcast #I get that the horrors want him cuz that’s now news but like what’s wrong with this men that they heard him admit to murder #and immediately went ‘smash’ #anyway rip John but Arthur has 9 more fingers to share with his new boyfriends #arthur lester #john doe malevolent #oscar malevolent #detective nol #scratch malevolent #the butcher malevolent

[giddlygoat]

life is short post willace were-rabbit angst on main

#FOUR POSTS IN ONE DAY i was so scared i would forget to post some art if i didn’t do it Now #ANYWAY. let me explain this comic #first off i hc wallace still transforms every full moon bc he deserves it. as a treat #and he just has a big ankle chain in his basement lol so he doesn’t go on a rampage and cause a ruckus #and they think willard oughta know about this sooner or later so gromit takes him down to meet were-wallace on a full moon #and willard just gets overwhelmed. it’s a lot to process and the newness of the situation makes him extremely anxious so he freaks out #he feels bad about it the next day bc ultimately he doesn’t give af if his bf transforms into a giant rabbit monster on the regular #but it was just a LOT to process at once and i think wallace would understand sndfwuhilvwirughth #WHATEVER MAN I JUST THINK THEYRE NEAT #apple pie with cheese #no id #giddly’s art #chicken run #wallace & gromit #willard tweedy #cotwr #were-wallace #between me and pant-eater we have drawn so many comics where willard ugly cries HSJSHDBSJSJ #what can i say. i love me a sopping wet paper bag of a man 🫡

[apotelesmaa]

I don’t feel like tracking it down but that one “project sekai characters I can beat in a fight” by a popular pjsk youtuber made me sooo angry like I know he did not read any of the stories. Specifically pissed that he put emu “on several spots teams” “canonically scaled a two story building” “had the body strength to climb up to the ceiling and just hang out there” “power scales with looney toons logic” ootori in the easy win category. She would kick your ass be so serious. Wouldn’t even be difficult for her. Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby.

#project sekai #also putting the mmj girls down as easy to beat. even I know idols have insane workout routines. #& HE PUT THEM BELOW TOUYA. touya is like a wet paper bag. #but like in general emu is more of a force of nature than anything. realistically she’s insanely strong #i think in general emu & the mmj girls + akito (sports guy) r winning dude. #also mafuyu. archery & pent up rage. #nene is out of shape but I think rui designed nene robo to just straight up kill if she’s threatened. #in general I cannot take u seriously if u think the male cast (minus akito) is stronger than the female characters who r canonically #super strong… absolutely bonkers man. they’d kill u.

[bullagit]

standard edition captured and wounded/tortured stede whump fic but it remembers his pain tolerance, there’s just this whole like

hes off screen getting hurt, you got the screaming you got the shouting, ed spends the entire time in the brig or w/e losing his entire mind about it. and they dump stede back in there and he’s on the floor and ed is having a whole fucking crisis trying to provide some comfort and pet his hair and wake him up 

and then after thirty seconds stede just cracks an eye open and goes “im so sorry ed i didn’t have time to give u a secret improv fuckery signal, that must have been awful for u. although honestly i think i oversold that fifth plea for mercy, they really weren’t giving me anything to work with creatively :/” 

and yeah he is for real hurt and needs tlc recovery time and maybe lets himself have a lil cathartic cry as a treat once they are safe and alone again bc there’s a fine line to tread between using pain for comedy and pain tolerance as nature vs something he had to learn, and his sort of horribly casual way of rolling w pain and damage to himself once it’s been done and all that 

but i do think that “well i didnt care for that and it ruined this shirt which is a real bummer” energy needs more rep in fanworks

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #gentlebeard #idk man there's just an energy to the whole prospect for me i vibe with it a lot #we tortured the man but it turns out he's on some muppet shit #some real chill abt being pinned to a mast by a sword overnight shit #some 'i mean boarding school was way worse for me bc i never knew when to expect getting messed with this is at least straightforward' shit #izzy like u suck at getting tortured ur such a pissbaby about it we could hear u all the way down here #stede like yeah its called acting idiot now stop fucking talking to me im trying to nap on my husbands lap #local man mvp of the breakout bc their captors think hes a wet paper bag giving him the element of surprise

[ilovedthestars]

i'm only about 3/4 through the neon court on my reread, and i apparently didn't write anything down in all of the midnight mayor, so this is by no means a complete list, but please enjoy:

Some Ways People Have Described Matthew Swift

“He’s a sorcerer. […] Doesn’t stop him from looking like a starving pigeon, does it?” (Vera, MoA 320)

“You look like a piece of rotting road kill.” (Blackjack, MoA 357)

“This is a new one. […] Me talking to a bloody mystic power no less, disguised as a guy with a face like a soggy sandbag” (Blackjack, MoA 360)

“You’re not that guy who keeps on getting beaten up by inexplicable mystical darkness, are you?” (Dr. Seah, TNC 131)

“You’ve done well, Matthew. While resembling a chewed-up rodent you’ve still managed to make them afraid.” (Bakker’s ghost, TNC 307)

“Bloody hell are you all right I mean obviously you’re not all right you look like a fucking bulldozer has been using you for practice and getting it wrong but I guess what I’m asking is, are you bleeding internally?” (Penny, TNC 408)

*page numbers are from my trade paperback copies, which are roughly 500 pages long

(In his defense, some of these take place immediately after Matthew has been beaten up by inexplicable mystic darkness. However, considering that he spends approximately 50% of his time in that state, i think those are still representative)

#stars has thoughts #matthew swift #when i say he is the embodiment of the 'sad wet paper bag of a man' vibes that tumblr often gets attached to #i am not exaggerating #people describe him like that ALL THE TIME #TO HIS FACE #don't get me wrong he's a three-dimensional and nuanced character #it's just also a running joke how he's incredibly magically powerful and also looks like the cat dragged him in #and it's hilarious #madness of angels spoilers #the neon court spoilers #(only if you know what you're looking for)

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

the jump from writing I'm Your Man to writing Better Off is so funny to me like... if you thought the build-up to Frankie and Rosie was painful you might need to sit this one out because I have created the most uncommunicative awkward couple of all time and it is actually decaying my brain as we speak

#rest in peace susie lamb. you would've loved autism assessments #susie is pathetic to an extent it actually makes me laugh. but then there's The Trauma #this is absolutely not on demarco he just got attached to a woman with the emotional capabilities of a wet paper bag

[oifaaa]

Titans Tower always annoyed me because of how ooc Jason is and how Tim stans harp on about how Tim was beaten up by his favorite Robin (which he isn't) so I do remember your version of Titans Tower and have incorporated into my own personal canon and might incorporate it into a fic someday.

See I used to not mind the whole titans Tower fight much bc even if Jason was completely unhinged at least it was funny and entertaining enough that it didn't bug me but then I started interacting more with fandom and realised just how weird some people are about that one fight and the whole fanon around Jason being Tim's favourite Robin is still so hilarious to me bc Tim did say alot of shit about Jason before he even came back as red hood when he was just a dead kid

#Ask #Anon #It's also the weird way people read that fight #Like people put so much emotions into it #They'll excuse Jasons actions as lazarus pit made him do it #And then make Tim be the biggest wet paper bag you've ever seen #Like did we read the same comic #Bc I remember that fight as just a straight up bitch fight #Jason was being a bitch #Tim was being a bitch #But yeah #Now I can't enjoy the fight at all #Bc it was so unnecessary #Just an excuse to involve Tim in a fight he had no reason to be apart of #And so I just say it's a dream and ignore it

[probablygayattorneys]

make me choose: Apollo justice or luke triton? (@chaterbox1237)

"You're a defense attorney. You're supposed to believe him even when he lies. That's what Daddy told me."

"I'm going to pretend you misheard him. Every time."

#mmc #look what i made #apollo justice #apollo justice: ace attorney #ace attorney: dual destines #ace attorney: spirit of justice #soj spoilers #dd spoilers #this was actually really hard #and i don't mean just in terms of making the gifs #(Though the relationships one was VERY hard since it's actually compromised of ten smaller gifs) #but pinning him down #cause what happens when you have a trilogy switch directors midway through #the characters stories and arcs and even characterizations #are inconsistent #apollo's characterization throughout the series is just whatever the case/plot needs at any given moment #sometimes he's a wet paper bag of a man #sometimes he's like 'I'D ARREST GOD HIMSELF IF HE WASN'T TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO SHOW HIMSELF TO ME' #with no rhyme or reason other than it's what moves the plot forward #but hey. i made a thing. #despite the fact that i want to just lie in bed all day and be a sad sack of shit #i made a hat

[nyxronomicon]

Just wanted to post the sketch (please I'm obsessed with this bastard)

#shun akiyama #i just finished Yakuza 4 and i can't stop thinking about him #sorry you have to suffer through a new blorbo #(I'm not sorry lol at this wet paper bag of a man. god i love him. he's so pathetic)

[overchromatic]

i keep collecting more and more small haunted lads

#weed screams #i have a new blorbo and it is Kazehiki. the utau. #hes like a wet paper bag of a boy. which is fantastic #my collection is getting considerable now. Allister Oliver Kazehiki Tsukasa...if anyone has recommendations for more haunted lads lemme kno #i just really love characters that are small and cute and have a ghosty vibe to em!! bonus points if they're shy and/or pathetic in some wa #and yes i will be posting art of kazehiki at some point.

[mleemwyvern]

#mcytblr #jimmy solidarity #disclaimer: this is for fun #dont do the discourse here #i just like the silly cursed block man #he always dies first in an unscripted death game that hes not even trying to die in #wet paper bag of a canary #he can NOT escape the allegations

[justplaindeviant]

Hold up...

You are telling me...that this BUFF, autistic squeeze toy has a higher charisma stat than his strength?

#paladin danse #fallout 4 #danse #love it #love him #edit: i just looked #he has the same strength stat as our favorite wet paper bag #robert joseph maccready

[thisisnotacreativeusername]

my toxic trait is that im still an indruck stan

#FUCK it's so good #im literally obsessed with indrid just like. not knowing how to act #calling duck to tell him about future disasters like hello duck ❤️🥰 #duck being like what the hell. is happening. am i going insane or is this wet paper bag of a man in love with me #(he is) #i have a very specific idea of their dynamic in my head #taz amnesty #indruck #indrid cold #duck newton #mine

[invinciblerodent]

Ah, now I remember why I started writing fanfic way back then.

Because I'm a PARTICULAR bitch. Detail-oriented. Meticulous. Maybe even PEDANTIC on a bad day, one might say, and I have very precise (and objectively correct) opinions.

#personal #i just had a very intense He Would Not Fucking Say That moment #as I'm idly scrolling among recommended posts I seem to be finding a lot #as well as many people who apparently think plurals are fromed with an apostrophe? #like “hug's”? #which is an error I can't say I've ever encountered before #((and I'm sorry but Gale?????? Dekarios????? Of Waterdeep?????? would NOT refer to sex as “fucking”?????????)) #((sex; yes. lovemaking; when he's feeling particularly sappy. I'll even take a “coitus” if the time is right.)) #((but that man Does Not Say Fuck.)) #((absolutely not. that is incorrect.)) #((I'd also petition to expunge the word “pussy” from his theoretical vocabulary)) #((because I read that and felt myself crumple internally like cotton candy that was sat on)) #((and I do not mean that in a good way)) #((i can give some LEEWAY as a swearword OR if he's bottoming)) #((but it HAS to be pathetic; there's no other way)) #((he couldn't dominate his way out of a wet paper bag are you kidding me))