#he’d suck ass

[the-owl-tree]

If there’s one idea I really like in au’s where Leafpool and Crowfeather actually do run away, it’s the idea of the three being raised away from the Clans and returning with an outsider’s gaze on how repressive and violent they can be

#warrior cats #deer rambles #im not crazy about these au’s because they always make it so crow would become crowstar?? for some reason?? #and also that he’d be a good father #he’d suck ass #anyways. in MY ‘Leafpool runs away’ au-

[prans-micellar-water]

Something that is really fascinating to me about The Last Herald Mage as a series is that SO much of it takes place in Vanyel’s childhood home. I’m so accustomed to fantasy heroes leaving their homes behind (and maybe returning once at the end of their story to complete the hero’s journey) that it’s almost shocking when Vanyel goes home just to visit. Something always happens, of course—Lackey wouldn’t waste pages on an uneventful visit home—but he always goes home with the intention of just hanging out with his family for a few days

#I think it is also just so fucking funny that Vanyel HATES visiting home lmao #His parents suck and don’t understand him AT ALL but he’s such a good son that he regularly drags his ass to Forst Reach even though #he’d wayyyyyy rather just hang out with Savil in Haven #Also shout out to the one time his parents tried to be open minded and accepting of their gay son and they got it just. soooo wrong #Vanyel when he finds out his parents put him in the same guest room as Stefen: 👁️👄👁️ #the last herald mage #vanyel ashkevron

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I found my relatives who are estranged because they left the cult (among other, much more complicated things)… and through their friends list I found my creepy uncle who I saw exactly once in person, walking through a foyer at a funeral.

Now, I bear a striking resemblance to my late grandmother so I could theoretically scare the living bejeezus out of him… 👀 but I’m not going to do that or talk to any of them right now in any way; because I don’t want to open that can of wormssssssss

#I guess it’s in that side of the family’s DNA to scheme and be evil and covertly cause as much mayhem as possible #I’ve inherited a double dose of whatever that is because I’ve been dying to cause widespread mayhem in disguise #hungering for it even— THIRSTING AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT #But there are no healthy or morally correct ways to Do That right now; so I guess I’ll suffer until I find an opportunity #I have no problems with my relatives. I like my relatives and would love to speak to them #However uh… the uncle #And of course the man’s profile picture is with him holding a toddler… fucking yikes #I mean maybe he’s reformed #He’d better be #Otherwise I will put on my rain boots #pack my bag with granola bars #and with a compass in my hand walk eighty miles north to beat his skinny ass into a seething pulp #[Caligula voice] “Get a dog who’ll eat a dog.” I am that dog. I am now #going #to bark at you #Woof woof barkbarkbark woofwoofwoof bark bArk— #Just imagine me jumpscaring him at his door absolutely drenched in sweat like “Hello uncle I’ve never formally introduced myself to you #My name is [Tarrie]. Prepare to die.” and then I immediately fucking pass out and impale myself on my folding scissors #because I’ve been walking for 80 miles straight only eating granola bars birch bark and dandelions #That would be horrifying and extremely embarrassing… so this is proof that this is all a joke and I would never do that #because I value… [checks notes] my health. Yes. [nods emphatically] #No the real reason is because I have no viable way to figure out any reason why he hasn’t reformed from many decades ago #which sucks because I prefer to deal in absolutes but that’s the way it is and my resources would be better spent observing other things #which I KNOW are actively harmful to others in order to fix them #[Caligula voice] But fear not dear uncle (derogatory); I’ll still stalk you from afar

[kim-dokja-hate-blog]

ok but imagine you’re one of if not the most powerful person in your country and there’s this random ass guy who’s about as strong as an average person, if with some random useful traits, who, for a moment, isn’t resistant to your mental skill, and when you try and use it on him, it works for about 5 seconds before he suddenly throws it off with something that doesn’t even exist within the system you get your power from and then, when he throws you off, he looks at you and calls you insignificant and then can’t walk for a day

#han yoojin sure is a guy! #tsctir #sctir #tsctir spoilers #sctir spoilers #unironically i’d be terrified #oh sung hyunjea don’t you know not to fuck with han yoojin? he will fuck you up in ways you didn’t even know were POSSIBLE #sung hyunjea #han yoojin #what’s with me with never using names in tsctir posts? good for me ig #han ‘i killed a god and got his skills but told no one lol’ yoojin #i think they should give him a single attack skill that sucks ass bc i just wanna see what he’d do with it #ik that’s Not The Point but i think he could do some rlly funny things with it #it’d suck thematically and would defeat the purpose but my no 1 rule is commit to the bit

[brimstone-cowboy]

I have an idea for a CK fic in which Robby is transfem I think they should do that in the show for real

#Johnny Lawrence funniest guy to suddenly have to be a parent to a trans teen #by which I mean he would suck but through shear spite he’d try and get on over LaRusso’s liberal ass

[some-greatreward]

b.u.r.m.a. not on spotify :((

#neither is carl’s self-titled like i need to hop on a vpn just to get a (audio equivalent of) glimpse of these songs #like what am i supposed to do? just buy a cd without even having heard the songs??? #hahaha. hhaha…(i might just do it. after christmas bc I need $$ for xmas gift buying 😭) #wish he’d chosen a better photo tho like the album cover sucks ass #& that’s saying something bc obviously he is very beautiful #that photo they have for the EP/deluxe ver?? is much nicer

[tariah23]

Ppl still be calling Sasuke abusive, it’s crazy to me-

#I will defend him for the rest of my life I’ll be old in a senior citizens building still on tumblr writing long essays about him #sorry he’s so awesome #how does anyone read or watch the entire series and come out thinking that #🧍🏾‍♀️… #his character is all about love bro #literally the only ppl who get his character are sasuke fans and like about half of sns fans (most of them mischaracterize the shit out of #both of them to hell so that’s why I say at least half lmfao) #the dudebros only see him in a meta sense #Sakura fans act like it’s his fault that she’s miserable and still sucks when she was the one who forced herself on him and he just gave in #because he’d already felt guilty about what happened before and the story (idk why kishimoto did that shit because it made no sense for his #character) had his ass feeling bad about what he did when he was always right from the very beginning #gaslighting a genocide survivor is crazy #a lot of sns fans do this as well so again that’s why I said HALF lmfao #it’s so ugly bro #there’s sm more but I don’t want to talk about it rn it just annoys me sm #rambling

[falinscloaca]

people in the replies of that ‘if you think dying is bad imagine your character having a timeskip and becoming a cop’ bringing up harry potter is like. on one hand YES thats one of the most infamous examples really especially with how fans charitably misinterpreted the series itself but like. at least that one IS thematically consistent with the rest of the fucking books.

#like i get outraged about undyne and think it sucks shit even tho royal guard is not that different from cop but like #in my defense undertale didn’t suck ass and her involvement in the military service of Asgore is presented as largely naive and not terribly #healthy or helpful??? #her job only DOESN’T suck ass and have no point in the LITERAL WORST CASE SCENARIO POSSIBLE lol #harry? he was a fucking rules snob who still thought them bending for him was natural. he broke the law most eggregiously only in pursuit of #the ‘true’ natural order. he barely questioned shit as long as it was presented straightforwardly enough by his pwecious authority figures #he was a bit CYNICAL of the process #but. ultimately unquestioning of its baseline legitimacy #he’d fit in great as a copperoni

[leefi]

Okay imo? For cards against humanity, to do well you (imo) need 2 things: current knowledge of pop culture/latest memes, and to understand your audience. And that second bit is why I think it's a hearts game. Because you can know pop culture and memes and be considered funny, but you need your jokes to land and so in order for your cards to land you need to know your audience since not every card will get the judge for the round laughing. Which is also why I think Mira would be a dark horse in playing, I think she'd come out of nowhere with 1 hit KO choices

mira would absolutely come out the gate swinging. but i do also agree with @jeffersonhairpie that her answers will sometimes be so insane that people have no idea what the hell she's talking about. THAT BEING SAID

POWERSCALING AIB CHARACTERS BASED ON HOW GOOD THEY WOULD BE AT CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY:

S TIER

HATTER, NIRAGI, URUMI

A TIER

KARUBE, MIRA, KUINA

B TIER

CHISHIYA, USAGI (DARK HORSE), LISA, ARISU (STRADDLES C)

C TIER

KYUMA, LAST BOSS (DARK HORSE POTENTIAL)

D TIER

TATTA, ANN, AGUNI (SHOULD BE F-TIER, BUT IS FRIENDS WITH TAKERU)

F TIER

CHOTA, LAST BOSS, ISAO

KUZURYU TIER

#kuzuryu: okay guys this isn't very fair i feel like aguni wouldn't be too good at it either #isao: no you'd be the worst #lisa: yeah you have to be the worst one #hatter: you'd suck ass at this game‚ kuzuryu #alice in borderland #not sure where to put yaba and banda. throw in your suggestions #at first I thought I put kyuma too low because he was a rockerboy but consider that in aib he’s too nice and also nude. #like he’d start defending all the nudity jokes a la ‘it’s natural’ ‘we should all be free’ etc etc

[waywardsalt]

i want to get off mr. okumura’s wild ride

#let me out of this fucking airlock area PLEASE i literally have the infiltration route done and now im STUCK #salty plays p5 #i see why ppl hate this palace ofc i decided to swing by and farm exp on my way out #salty talks #cannot wait to beat okumuras ass at this rate #also this palace def had the weakest leadup but ig we dont need too much explanation as to why hes heinous #hes the ceo of a massive fast food chain we been knew he’d suck. be nice to ur workers

[boinurmom13]

“be the change you want to see!!”

please if i was the change i wanted to see, id make a mod where lance sucks my dick

#sdv #sve #sve lance #stardew valley #stardew valley expanded #im running out of things to post #do yall think lance would drink orange soda #i think he’d try it and purposefully take some from bos stash #not bcz he liked it or anything but so he can piss bo off #he actually pours it in the gsrden #those crops will grow up with buff ass arms and legs #sucks my dick in a non-sex way btw #in a insult comeback way #me n my homies hate lance #affectionately #i love lance sve

[x-letsbreaksomerules-x]

having tranquil hawke thoughts. it’s that kind of night

#im rotating garwyn in my mind #he’s getting microwaved #specifically because im trying to figure out exactly how he’d end uo Tranquil but also escape the physical Fade #So far i think Nightmare essentially mortally wounds him #Right as he inbetween the real world and th Fade. So just as he’s passing through a rift #The inquisition has the resources to heal his body. fortunately. but his connection to the fade is just. gone #This sucks ass for him for a long time. He’d be Tranquil for months at least. #Due to the stupid political bullshit involved with telling people about the reversal of the Rite the Inquisition lacks the authority to help #Up until Leliana is selected for Divine that is. Then he’ll be ok and normal again and will not experience any side effects(lie) #Sadly this means Fenris gets followed around by some husk of his partner for months to possibly a full year. it’s excruciating. #then he gets him back!! but he’s back Wrong and severely emotionally unstable because of the influx of emotions after so long #They figure it out. eventually. they’ll get that happy ending. probably

[domesticateddog]

nsfw tmi annoying sexual oversharing r/ihavesex tags etc etc…

#holy shit is dirty talk fucjing good lol like a half hour ago that was the hottest time yet jesus christ im still reeling…. #i cant even think straight. the things he said to me when i was sucking his fingers…. 🥴 #that was definitely worth the wait lol he’s so fucking hot i cant stand it #im so over the fucking moon in love with him it’s insane every single thing is perfect we’re best friends who havethe best sex fucking ever #we’re two peas in a pod and it’s so clear to me now after coming back to his house after leaving today and just the relief of getting to lay #in his arms while we tell each other about our day apart while he rubs my arms back and hair. i just felt whole when that happened. #he said he wasn’t sure he wants to hang out with his old friend again bc quite ‘his jokes weren’t funny’ LOL he said after every joke he’d #just give him the autism stare as it fell flat lmao but that means *I* make him laugh! which i do. (<- self absorbed narcissist) #he just fell asleep next to me after a LOOOONG ass day and i already miss him how lame and codependent of me #we miss each other when we go to the fucking bathroom too lol we’re insane but we are free #sorry. #*quote not quite

[itchypinefield]

My beloved 2

#thinking thoughts about that little sliver of ass behind his foot #suck him silly suck him serious suck him igregious even if he’d allow it

[applecherry108]

Me, an asexual: Actually I thought they were coding Will as ace, rather than gay.

Will: *literally doing a class presentation on Alan Turing*

Me: Nevermind.

#after watching s4p1 I went back and am rewatching everything all over gain #yo they’ve been setting up gay will since episode 1 #in a very….rude and derogatory way.. 😬 #to be fair. Joyce’s convo with hopper about ‘why Lonnie never liked Will’ ending with ‘is he?’ def was ambiguous enough #to just be ‘Will is a quiet sensitive little kid’ and simply just doesn’t fit into the 80s ideal of macho man #the first obvious not a rude statement or joke was will proclaiming he’s ‘never fall in love’. not specifically he’d never have a gf #but that he didn’t understand why his friends and brother wanted to suck face #and my ace ass was like ‘AHA! ace rep!! >:D ‘ but uh #no yeah he’s gay. #and I am Worried about how that’ll be handled if at all in part 2 #bc I often get the feeling they’re going to kill off will. 😬😬 #apple talks #to the tune of spam

[zouisalmightie]

oh my goooooood my landlord sold my building so i have to move i hate california places are so expensive why does it cost 2k to live in the hood???? where i live is so nice and quiet i don’t wonna leeeeeaaaavvvveee 😭

#ugh ugh ugh #he’d breaking my lease so he owes me money which is nice but #this still sucks ass #anyone in so cal in need of a roommate with 1000 books and a stand mixer?