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aliceslantern · 4 years

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Heartlines, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 18--Demyx Alone

Twelve years ago, Xemnas betrayed the royal court of Radiant Garden to his father, Xehanort. Prince Ienzo flees to another city and begins university in the aftermath, hoping the anonymity will protect him from eager eyes with ill intent. The darkness spilling across the country, as well as an individual from his past, cut short Ienzo's new beginning and bring new conflicts to light. Strained between the desires of his magic and his heart, Ienzo's choice will change him forever.

Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.

Chapter summary: With Ienzo missing, Demyx has no choice but to take his daughter and run.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Demyx woke suddenly to Amalia’s crying. He groaned and turned over. “Your turn,” he mumbled to Ienzo, but when he didn’t feel weight shift on the mattress, he just sighed and sat up. Ienzo wasn’t in bed; he probably had just gone to the bathroom or something. Amalia kept screaming, high, strange keening. “I’m coming, baby,” he said. “Let daddy wake up first.” He forced himself to his feet and crossed over to the bassinet. He picked her up and checked her diaper--clean. She was hungry. He hefted her into his arms. Her cries quieted, but didn’t cease. “I know, I know.” He went upstairs, groggily. It wasn’t like Ienzo to take so long. He always preferred feeding the baby fresh milk if possible. Whatever. Demyx warmed a bottle, coaxed it into his daughter’s mouth, and tried not to nod off as she fed.

Something smelled like smoke. He rubbed his eyes and crossed over to the toaster, because it was Even’s favorite thing to burn bread. But it was clean, or at least, empty. Demyx wandered around the kitchen, sniffing. The smell seemed to be coming from outside. He burped Amalia and let her keep eating.

He realized the bathroom door was open. No Ienzo. Had he gone upstairs? But why?

Something was wrong.

Demyx took a deep breath. He set Amalia’s empty bottle in the sink and held her a little more tightly against him. “Ienzo?” he called, bracing himself for Even to yell at him for waking them all up. But it was just silent. “Ienzo?” He took a few steps outside. The grass, well-kept by Aeleus, was smoothed down by the front walk, but the smell of smoke intensified here.

Not smoke. Darkness.

Heartless? But how could Heartless break through their wards? Demyx sighed heavily. “Every day’s a new surprise,” he muttered, and Amalia snuffled as if in reply. He crossed back inside, grabbed some shoes and Amalia’s baby sling, and tied her to him. If the wards had been compromised, best to have her near him. “Where did your daddy go?”

He walked past the property line, but the smell of darkness faded. “Zo?” he called again. “This isn’t funny.”

An unnatural silence. A spike of adrenaline shot through him. He ran back into the yard. “Aeleus? Dilan? Where are you guys?”

He didn’t see them. He didn’t feel them. Demyx dashed back into the house, into Even’s study, which at first glance was empty.

Then he saw the blood, barely visible against the dark floor. His breath caught. “No, no, please, no.” Fear made him quake. He took a few small steps along the trail of blood, holding Amalia so tightly she had begun to protest. He forced himself to loosen his grip.

Even was unconscious under the desk, where he’d been evidently dragged, bleeding from his side. Demyx covered his own mouth to keep from screaming. With a shaking hand, he reached down to feel at Even’s pulse, and breathed a sigh of relief when he was alive. As gently as he could, he dragged him out from under the desk and shoved the chair cushion under his head. “Even? Can you hear me?”

He groaned weakly. Demyx tugged up his shirt, to get a better look at the wound. In his magic training, Ienzo had taught him the basics of healing. He held his hand over the wound. It was no more than a graze, but his head had been hit hard. Demyx dug in their medical supplies until he found the potion and tipped it into his half-open mouth.

This brought him around at last. He coughed. “You alright?” Demyx asked.

Even blinked. He clutched at his head. Demyx helped him sit up. It took him a moment to fully gain awareness, but then he gasped. “No.”

“What happened?”

Even shot to his feet, wavering dizzily, but before Demyx could stop him he’d darted outside. Apprehension tightened into a pit in his stomach, and Amalia began to cry again. Slowly, Demyx followed, and found Even on his knees by the smoothed grass, probing it with his hands. “Even?” Demyx asked. “What happened?”

He didn’t respond. He just punched the dirt, his long hair falling into his face. He was trembling.

“What’s going on?” Demyx asked again.

“He’s…” He swallowed audibly. “He’s gone.”

It felt like being strangled. “Who?”

“Ienzo. I can’t feel him. But his scent, it’s all over this dirt--” Panic had flooded Even’s voice. “With darkness , with-- nothing.” He looked up. “Someone got through… with nothing .”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“Nothing, boy, nothing! The type of matter! We’d protected against darkness, but not… nothing .” The horror made him look older than he was, and he punched the ground again.

“How do you know he’s gone?” Demyx asked shakily. Amalia was crying louder now, intense, shrill cries Demyx had never heard from her before tonight. He tried to shush her.

Even bobbed his head towards the baby. “She wouldn’t cry like that if he were in the area. She can sense him.”

“What if he just… went…” Demyx didn’t believe what he was saying, but the alternative was falling into a complete panic. “To fight Heartless… he’s going to come back.”

Even just looked at him wearily. “We need the dog,” he muttered.

---

Moments later, the glowing white wolf was at the gate, and before Demyx’s eyes he shifted into a man. Isa. “When did you notice?” he asked.

“I’d… gotten up to feed the baby,” Demyx said. “That must’ve been about two--” Amalia was still crying, cries that hurt him to hear. Even was darting all over the yard, looking for Aeleus and Dilan.

“...She wouldn’t be crying like that if he’s near.”

“That’s what Even said.”

Isa took a few steps toward the baby; Demyx flinched. “I need to smell her,” he told him. “I can track Ienzo’s scent that way.”

“Do you know what nothing is?” Demyx asked.

Isa’s face turned paler in the porch light. “Oh,” he said softly.

“What?”

He sniffed. “Yes, I… I smell it. I know what happened. Xehanort’s family… they were experimenting with nothing, its entropy... they used it to break through your protection.”

“So they took him?”

“I hope .”

“Why would you hope ?”

His eyes were drawn. “Better than the alternative. I…” He exhaled, then smelled at the baby. “I’ll scout as far as I can.” His form melted back into the wolf’s and disappeared along the horizon.

Demyx’s knees were weak. He wobbled over to the front steps before they could give out on him. He tried to soothe Amalia, but nothing he said or sang seemed to help. So he had no choice but to let her cry.

---

Demyx felt numb.

He didn’t know what to do other than try to comfort Amalia, as vain as that was. She barely stopped crying other than to eat, though he noticed over time that the cries became quieter, until finally she exhausted herself into a stupor. He was not going to allow himself to panic until he knew what Isa had to say.

It grew lighter out. Aeleus and Dilan and similarly been wounded, and Even tended to them wearily. He and Demyx drank too much coffee. Demyx tried to force himself to have breakfast, but he just ended up throwing it back up. Like their daughter, he could feel with a certainty that Ienzo was gone .

Isa reappeared shortly before dusk, his blue hair glowing in the fading light. Demyx held his breath. “No trace of his scent within my range, nor of the nothing,” he said softly. “They must’ve… teleported somehow. I’m sorry.”

“Where could they have taken him?” Even asked.

“ If he’s alive,” Dilan said.

“He’s alive,” Even said, too quickly.

“I would assume they’d take him back to Hollow Bastion--what was once Radiant Garden,” he explained. “But going there would be essentially fatal. At least, for you.”

There was a pronounced silence.

“...Unless…” Isa murmured. “Unless I were to… offer myself back up.”

“I thought you’d poisoned that well,” Dilan muttered.

“Perhaps if I explain I owe Ienzo, he would devise a way to use that to his advantage. If I can get close … I can get him out. I understand you… don’t fully trust me. But what other options do you have?”

“What indeed?” Even said, his voice hollow. He stood up and brushed off his pants; he was still wearing his bloody shirt. “Either way… we know what we must do.”

“What?” Demyx asked.

Woodenly, he turned towards him. “It’s no longer safe here,” he said. “We must operate under the assumption that Amalia is the last remaining heir to the throne. Her safety must be our priority.”

“But he’s not--”

“We must assume he is,” Even said sharply, though not without pain. “Aeleus, give the resistance a status update. Dilan, you remain here and work things out with the dog. Demyx… we need to get you and the baby ready.”

“For what?”

“For us to run.”

---

In a haze, Demyx packed. Over the past ten months this place had become his home. He didn’t know what was important. So he focused on his daughter, but even then. What about her favorite books, did he bring those? The blanket Kairi had made for her? There was only a suitcase between them, not even a particularly large one. Even said their things could be arranged for later, but he had no idea if that would actually happen. So Demyx took whatever would make the baby most comfortable and shoved a few changes of clothes for himself in the crevices. Put some photos into his backpack. He knew there was not enough room for the sitar, but he couldn’t stop himself from running his fingers over the varnish anyway.

He was digging for Amalia’s scale cream when he saw it, lying on top of the dresser--Ienzo’s pendant. He never wore it when he was asleep, claiming he felt choked. It still felt warm.

He broke then, pain and fear and a heartbreak he didn’t know possible washing in all at once; he fell to his knees, unable to bear up against it. He remembered something he and Riku had read in the mayor’s library, about his kind , what happened when they lost what they had found--

Seekers consider their mates and their offspring priorities, because they are also vital to their mental stability. Those who lose mates often follow soonafter, either through their own hand or a sheer lack of will to live, resulting in what has been dubbed “soul sickness.”

But Ienzo wasn’t dead.

Amalia, on the bed, was again squalling. Demyx nearly had to crawl to get over to her. He drew her into his arms and couldn’t help but sob for a moment.

“Get it together, yes? We can react later.” Even, if possible, seemed even more hollow than before. “Your daughter needs you and I need you not to be a sniveling mess.”

Demyx wiped at his eyes. The man was holding, of all things, a set of clippers. “What’s that for?”

“Your hair,” Even said. “I’m afraid the style is rather distinct and must be made unrecognizable.” He offered them towards Demyx. “I’ll leave what you do up to you, but it must be ordinary. You understand? Otherwise I’ll shave you bald myself.” “A disguise?”

“Of sorts. I’ll watch the baby. Now go . We don’t have all night.”

Numbly, Demyx complied. For a long time in the bathroom he stared at the fine blades. Tremblingly, he turned it on. It took a long moment before he could find the nerve to run the clippers along the back of his head, tufts of blonde mullet falling in shivering piles onto the floor. He shaved it down so the lengths matched the sides of his head, strangely dark compared to the normal shade of his hair. Hazily, he swept up the hair, threw it away, showered off the little bits, the remains of the gel. The hair that remained flopped over the side of his head, into his eyes. He hoped this was unrecognizable enough. Easier to mourn his hairstyle than anything else.

Even appraised him warily once he returned. “I suppose that is an improvement,” he said dryly. He handed Demyx a pair of glasses. “Put these on.”

The lenses had no prescription.

Even took a step back. “Good enough. Get dressed. We’d better leave sooner rather than later.”

“What about the milk?”

“We’re taking it too. I’ve got that handled. Make sure the baby wears a hat.” He was already walking away.

Amalia cried again when she saw him, his silhouette changed confusingly enough for her weak newborn eyesight, but once she was in Demyx’s arms and could smell him she calmed. “I know, baby,” he said softly. He kissed her cheek. “I know. I know.”

Demyx slipped Ienzo’s pendant into his pocket. He took one last look around their room--the place where their daughter had been born--and left.

“Give me your phone,” Even said.

“Don’t crush it,” Demyx said. “Please--I have pictures of her on it--”

“I’m not crushing it.” He took off the case and pried open the back uncomfortably quickly. In front of Demyx’s eyes, he pulled out a small chip from it. “Need to disable the GPS and your SIM card.”

“But what if--”

“What?”

“Someone… needs to reach me?”

Even gave him a droll look. “Which is more important, silly friends or your daughter?”

“Well, her, of course, but--”

Even cracked the SIM card in half. “If you truly need to pass along a message, you can use the resistance network.”

“...How many times have you done this?”

Even was tapping something into the device now. “What?” he asked flatly.

“Just up and ran.”

Even looked up, his green eyes so empty. “You know… I don’t actually recall.”

“That should be everything,” Aeleus said in the same numb tone. “Dilan’s putting the other set of plates on the car, and then he’ll help us leave the city.”

“Good.”

“What about… Isa?” Demyx asked.

“He’ll meet back up with us at the new location,” Aeleus said. “I’ll be waiting.” He left.

After changing the baby one last time, Demyx strapped her into the car seat. Even just exhaled heavily. “This was supposed to have been different,” he murmured, and got into the car.

Demyx sat in the back with the baby. Even with small magical enhancements, things were cramped. He was handed two passports. “This is the name you’ll use in public,” Even said. “Hers too.”

“...When did you make these?”

“As soon as I was able to get a good enough photo of the baby,” Even told him.

“Even always has multiple contingency plans in place,” Aeleus said.

Demyx’s hair had been edited to look ordinary . The passport dubbed him Emyd, and the baby, Ava. They were from “Traverse Town? Never heard of it.”

“Yes,” Even said. “Exactly. Now keep the baby quiet and let me work.”

---

Amalia, exhausted from all her crying, slept heavily, and despite himself, Demyx did too. He’d taken intro to psychology for one of his gen eds, and one of the things he remembered was that, in times of extreme stress or trauma, some people… simply fell asleep. He was woken gently by Aeleus an unknown amount of time later, handed a bottle of Ienzo’s milk which had been warmed with a spell. “I’m not sure if the baby gets carsick, but best feed her while we’re still.”

Demyx complied. Amalia just blinked, but took it without complaint. “I know, you miss daddy’s booby,” he murmured. “Hopefully we’ll see him soon.”

They just drove. The night seemed to get deeper, the stars, brighter. Demyx drifted in and out of sleep, uncertainly. Finally, they crossed the threshold of a city without border control, a city with bright neon lights and old cobble roads and buildings that looked worse for wear. They ended up parking in front of an old motel complex that had been turned into apartments, its sign flickering. Some of the cars in the lot were rusty, old. Even took a key out of a manila envelope and unlocked the door.

The place clearly hadn’t been seen in a long time. It smelled musty and stale. Demyx could see where rooms had been clumsily added, and the furniture--Mid-Century modern and wrought-iron beds-- was covered in old sheets. Even began warding the doorway, and Aeleus took in their few things.

It was a two bedroom apartment, railroad-style, the orange streetlight shining straight into the farther bedroom. Demyx pulled the dusty curtains shut; Amalia sneezed gently. He took the cooler which contained bags of Ienzo’s milk and loaded them into the old freezer, which smelled like tuna fish. His hands trembled as he did so.

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.

He also knew Ienzo would fight tooth and nail if he were physically able to. But what if he--

Demyx felt Aeleus’s large hand pat his shoulder once. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to; his sad blue eyes said it all. “There are clean linens in the vacuum sealed bags in the closet,” he said instead. “I’m sure you must be exhausted.”

“What about you? You were driving all night.”

He shrugged. “I’m used to it. We can clean tomorrow.”

---

Like Twilight Town’s perpetual sunset, Traverse Town had perpetual night, strange heavy wards which kind of worked. Being nightlocked did strange things to Demyx’s body, making him constantly groggy. He’d always been a morning person. Isa kept searching for Ienzo, but any leads he had ran cold; Even’s lie-detecting magic showed the man was being truthful.

Honestly? Considering that before someone had been able to break through their wards, Demyx felt much more at ease knowing he was around. Not that he’d ever admit it. He accompanied Demyx and Amalia on their daily walks, though they didn’t talk much. Between Even's stressed silence, Aeleus’s natural propensity not to speak much, and Demyx’s ambivalence towards Isa, he found himself talking more and more to the baby, especially as his hope began to dwindle.

They’d gone out grocery shopping. The people in Traverse Town were more haggard than Twilight Town, always looking over their shoulders. “Everyone’s so tense,” Demyx murmured, wiping a drop of drool from Amalia’s face.

“This is a place of refugees,” Isa said to him. He was tossing an apple restlessly from one hand to the other. “I grew up here.”

“You did? You never mentioned that.”

“You never asked,” he said levelly. “You don’t hesitate to hide your disdain. Why should I volunteer anything?”

Demyx sighed. “I don’t… hate you. It’s just that Ienzo… told me so many stories.”

“I regret it deeply,” Isa murmured. “You have to understand. It was like… I was in my body, but I was not the one controlling it. The darkness drowned out all reason.”

“So how did you learn to fight it?”

“It took a long time. I forced myself to… really look at my actions, to… remember who I was once, before all this. What I used to be capable of. My… best friend.” A dark chuckle. “I wonder where he is now. What he’s up to.”

“What was his name?”

Isa canted his head a little. “Lea.”

Demyx snorted in disbelief. “As in L-e-a, not L-e-e?”

“Yes?”

“Isa, we went to college together. At Twilight Town University. He was in my graduating class. He studied theater.”

Isa smiled, the first genuine one on him Demyx had ever seen. “Of course he did,” he murmured. “Small world.” “I’d give you his number--but Even would probably kill me.”

“I don’t deserve to see him. Not yet. I… have a lot to atone for.”

They walked in silence for a moment. “Why’d you do it?” Demyx asked. “Join him?”

Isa considered. He folded his hands behind his back. “To say I came from a bad home is putting it mildly,” he admitted at last. “My mother died young, my father turned to hard drugs. The usual sordid tale.” An eye roll. “And once I hit puberty, all bets were off. Every full moon, I would involuntarily transform into a monster, a form I could not control. As the situation… devolved, I so happened to run into “Ansem.” I had no idea what this mess signified.” He touched a strand of his hair. “He offered me a chance to learn to control myself, a place where I could live safely. How was I to know that was wrong? But, Demyx, all this suffering. All this death. What’s it for? We deserve… better.” He looked at Amalia. “Especially her.”

“Yeah. We do.”

---

The days passed, one after another, almost endlessly. Amalia began outgrowing all of her clothing, began smiling, laughing. It just made Demyx’s heart break all the more to know Ienzo wasn’t there to see it. So he took photos and videos.

Too soon, they ran out of breastmilk. Demyx bought formula, tried to get Amalia to drink it, but she just pushed the bottle away, or spit it right back in his face. He let it go for a feeding or two, figuring if she got hungry enough she’d drink it anyway, but he began having to actively wrestle the bottle into her mouth. “Come on,” he murmured. “ Eat, please.” He went out and bought another kind of formula, but she wouldn’t eat that either. Was it too warm? Too cool? Not concentrated enough, too strong? Maybe it was making her nauseous? He should’ve mixed the last bag of milk with the formula. He gave her some flat ginger ale, and she drank that all down. But she wouldn’t. Eat.

He could barely sleep that night. She wasn’t crying, but she seemed more lethargic than usual. Was she really sick? She had no fever, but she was clammy. He tried giving her a bath, some tummy time, as though the stimulation would give her appetite back. But she kept refusing the formula. She drank the juice he gave her, so she was getting some calories, but something had to give.

The evening of the second day, he was exhausted, anxious, and near tears. Even came back into the apartment and raised an eyebrow. “What’s the matter with you ?” he asked.

The tears overflowed. “She’s not eating,” Demyx said. “I tried three different kinds of formula--but she just won’t--she spat it up on me, look at my shirt. It’s been almost two days, Even, I don’t know what’s wrong with her, if she’s sick, she’s going to starve .”

Even’s harsh gaze softened. “Ah,” he said softly. “I know what’s wrong.”

“I’m a shitty dad.”

“No, you aren’t.” He went over to the kitchen, opened the cabinet, and pulled out a bottle of honey, of all things. He added a spoonful to the bottle Amalia had rejected, heated it back up, shook it well, and presented it to Demyx. “Try this.”

He did. Amalia began chugging it down so quickly Demyx had trouble getting her to stop long enough to burp. “What--”

Even sat across from him at the table. “Ienzo’s mother had the same problem when she was weaning him,” he said, his eyes hazy with memory. “Royal milk, for whatever reason, is incredibly sweet. Some kind of compound that’s good for the magic. As well-intentioned as you were, I’m sure to her you might as well have been feeding her lemon juice. Just add some honey to the formula, and begin lessening the amount over the next few days. She’ll be right as rain.”

“Oh,” he said, sniffling. He remembered the last time he’d made love to Ienzo, when he'd accidentally tasted it. The tears still were running down his face, salty. “Even, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can because you have to,” Even said firmly. “It hurts. I know it must hurt more than you can bear. It hurts me, too. I raised him, Demyx, he’s my son. But Amalia needs you. You can’t fall apart. She can’t lose both of you. Understand?”

He nodded. Even handed him a napkin, and he mopped at his eyes.

“You look exhausted,” Even said, a bit more gently. “I’ll watch Amalia, if you want to get some sleep. And you should shower. You smell like spit-up.” He crossed over and took her into his arms. “We’ve gotten through worse.”

How , Demyx nearly asked, but then he remembered that Even had once been Radiant Garden’s surgeon general and head researcher, working under his dear friend Ansem, along with all of his friends . He wondered how much of Even’s harshness came out of a desire to push others away before he lost them, too. “Thanks,” he said.

Even kissed the baby’s head. “She is my granddaughter.”

---

Time began to pass. Isa often left on long excursions to search for Ienzo, but it got to the point where each and every time he came back with no new information, and Demyx tried to stop letting himself hope.

Every few weeks, they would move to a different safe house. They stayed in hotels, trailers, empty apartments, old houses. One week they camped inside an old mansion, and Amalia fell asleep to the sound of raindrops pattering on their tent.

The countrysides were safer, but the cities had resistance contacts, who were doing their own part to try and find Ienzo. Luxord the bartender had gotten into contact with Xehanort’s forces, but of course they wouldn’t tell him anything. “I’ll keep trying to climb the ladder,” he said, over a hazy phone call. “But no more than whispers ever reach the bottom rungs.”

Demyx missed his friends. He missed Riku’s dry insults and Yuffie’s obnoxious brashness, Lea’s terrible jokes, Roxas’s worst moods. He missed Sora, Riku, and Kairi’s gross flirting.

More than all he missed Ienzo. It was a longing so intense it was almost a physical ache , and sometimes he couldn’t help but break down whenever he had a moment to himself. He took to wearing the second pendant as well. It still glowed faintly. He hoped that meant Ienzo was still alive.

Amalia grew. Before long she was able to support her own neck, roll over. She discovered she could see herself in mirrors and would stare for hours, though Even insisted she could not yet recognize it as herself. She began making small vocal noises, and her hair got longer. She played with her hands and feet. When she was two months old she caught her first cold, and while Even said it was mild, Demyx didn’t sleep for the better part of three days. Her smile could light up the room; she could coax one even out of Isa.

Demyx realized, as time passed, that Isa had become his friend, had become trusted. He had no issues leaving Amalia with him for short periods of time, except during the full moon when he was still locked into wolf form. The baby found this amusing, crawling all over him, tugging at his tail, but Isa would do no more than sigh heavily and flick the tail around for her to play with.

Amalia began manifesting small signs of magic. Once, she sneezed on Demyx and gave him freckles that lasted nearly a week. Even was giving her a bath and discovered her laughter could make the water move (he told Demyx this sopping wet, unhappy). Aeleus took her for a walk and found to his horror she had worked her way out of the papoose and was floating steadily upwards. It became habit to tie her down with a thin silk cord whenever they went outside.

Winter came. It got colder. Demyx missed Ienzo.

Isa was able to teach him a spell to put his sitar into a sort of pocket dimension after it finally arrived, so he could take it with him everywhere. Demyx was so grateful that he hugged him; the gesture surprised them both. Those days were so full of music that Even eventually had to snap at him to quiet down so he could get some research done. Amalia loved every minute, making tiny humming noises.

They were staying in a house on the northern coast when they heard the knock. These moments never became less tense, even though they were usually just housekeepers, or door-to-door salespeople, or, even more rarely, a member of the resistance. Demyx looked through the peephole and saw a man with an eyepatch--and a gold eye. He covered Amalia’s mouth to keep her from making noise. “What?” Isa mouthed. Demyx bobbed his head towards the door. He just sighed heavily and approached. Then, “Xigbar?”

“Come on,” he said. “I just wanna talk.”

Demyx grabbed a hat out of the diaper bag and pulled it hurriedly onto her head. He began backing towards the door, slowly. Even came down the stairs in his usual distracted huff, but then, “Braig?”

“You know him?” Isa asked.

“Even. Long time no see.” A wicked smile.

Even hesitated.

“I just wanna talk,” the man reasserted. “Aw, who’s the little cutie?”

Demyx held the baby more tightly.

“My nephew and his daughter,” Even lied smoothly. “We’re staying with him for the moment.”

The man--Braig? Xigbar?--sighed. “Bullshit. Why on earth is Saïx with you? Come on, Ev. We’re old friends. I come in peace, okay?”

Slowly, Even opened the door. “Xigbar,” Even said slowly. “Sold your soul to a demon, then?”

“It’s complicated.” He sauntered over to the kitchen table and sat without being invited.

“How complicated could it possibly be?”

Isa crossed back over to Demyx and the baby.

“I got clout with the old man,” Xigbar said. He picked up an orange from the fruit bowl on the table and twirled it idly. “Earned his trust for twelve years. Worked my way up.”

Panic began to overtake Demyx in earnest. Had they been found out? How?

“But I’m playing a bigger game, Even. I don’t give a shit about the darkness. So for him to win… well. We’d all be dead, and what then? Nothing can rise from the ashes if there’s nothing left.” A sigh. “Long and short way of saying I know where your boy is.”

The words left Demyx without his permission, his soul crying out. “He’s alive?”

A chuckle. “Boy, is he,” Xigbar said smoothly. “Speaking of games… not sure what that one is trying to pull… or if he’s really brainwashed… or if he submitted just for the sake of… that .” He gestured to the baby.

Even had turned red. “How’d you--”

Xigbar just looked tired. “Like I said. I hear things.”

“What did he do?” Even asked.

“He’s helping the old man. Last I heard he’s been going by Zexion.”

Even staggered as though he’d been punched. “But--how--why--”

A shrug. “The son named Ansem has done all sorts of crazy experiments on people. Loves to torture. But you’d know that, wouldn’t you?” He locked eyes with Isa. “Listen, I wouldn’t put it past the princeling to be running some kind of gambit of his own.”

Even frowned. “So why tell us all this? What does it accomplish?”

“Because if you need a way in, I’m it,” Xigbar said, as though it were obvious. “I’m tired of playing along. Maybe it’s time to change the game.”

Even’s face went blank for a moment. Then, slowly, “how soon can you get us there?”

---

Demyx hadn’t thought that it would be winter when he first took his daughter to the sea. Too cold for her to touch. Even bundled in layers, it was hard to keep her adequately shielded from the wind. “This is where you and me come from,” he whispered to her, and she cooed. “In the summer we’ll see if you’re a little fishy after all.”

She looked out at it, contemplatively.

“Her safety, and yours, remains the priority,” Aeleus said gently. “That is to say… not to get your hopes up.”

“In case Ienzo is a brainwashed zombie?” Demyx said dully.

He rested a palm on his shoulder. Amalia reached one tiny palm towards him; he took it. “Have faith in him,” Aeleus said. “But… yes. It is… possible.”

“I’d hoped he was alive, but I…”

“I know,” he said. “I cannot stress this enough--your duty is not to fight for Ienzo. Your duty is to care for Amalia. Especially as we go into--”

“Enemy territory?” Demyx took a deep breath. It tasted like salt. “Why have me go with you, then?”

“You’re safer with us than on your own.”

He had a point. He looked back out at the ocean. “Excited to go home?” he asked dryly.

“It hasn’t been home for a long time.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “Come. We have to catch the ferry.”

Demyx followed Aeleus back up to the dock. Radiant Garden was a city on the water. His own seeker magic was thankfully strong enough to shield Amalia’s, but Isa and Even were forced to find their own way over. No friendly border control guards here.

“We’re to meet someone here,” Aeleus said, taking him aside at the ticket booth. “Though I’ve no idea who.”

They waited as the next two ferries came and went. Amalia, uncomfortable in the cold despite wrappings, squalled a little, and Demyx held her more tightly against his chest. “Did they know we had a baby?” he spat. “She’ll get sick.”

“...If no one shows in a few minutes, you can wait inside the terminal.”

In the early morning fog, Demyx saw a figure emerge with a small suitcase; a tall old man with a thick red scarf draped over his shoulders. His face came into better focus as they both struggled not to react. “...Horrid morning, isn’t it,” Ansem said pleasantly.

“This is a terrible risk,” Aeleus said under his breath. “You mustn’t--”

“My city, my people, my son are at risk,” he said, equally as low. “It’s about time I put my own neck on the line.” He turned to Demyx. “Oh.” His eyes softened.

“Had anybody told you?” Aeleus asked.

“No,” Ansem said. “Is this--”

“Our daughter,” Demyx said. “She’s six months old.”

“Oh,” he said again, his eyes watering. “Her… name?”

Demyx mouthed it. “She goes by Ava outside.”

“Can I… could I--” He held out his arms. Demyx handed him his granddaughter. She settled down against him like she’d known him her whole life. “My son’s a father.”

“He was worried you’d be disappointed in him,” Demyx murmured. “This wasn’t, ah, on purpose.”

“...How could I be disappointed in a face like that?”

Amalia looked back up and him and smiled. Demyx reached over to wipe away a streak of drool. “She’s getting her first tooth. Chewing on everything.”

“Next ferry is leaving soon,” Aeleus said. “We should go.”

Ansem handed Amalia back to Demyx. “Right. Very well.” He pulled his cap lower over his face.

They got on the ferry to what was once Radiant Garden.

#heartlines #demyx #ienzo #zemyx #child oc - amalia #even (kingdom hearts)#aeleus #isa (kingdom hearts)#dilan (kingdom hearts)#xigbar

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kingdomheartsmarts · 4 years

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We know Ansem, and possibly the crew, experimented on people even before BBS. Let's say the members of the castle squad, except for sweet baby Ienzo because pre-BBS, find out that their crush is also a subject of experimentation. How would they each react when Ansem, their lord and boss, forbids them to confess to their crush? Who would listen begrudgibgly? Who would do it anyway? Would they do something else?

this took me a minute to write, but it was really fun to write! also, are you okay anonie?? idk just seems like.. idk an aggressive request? no matter, i obviously did it, but still. this has Ansem the Wise as not an ass and Ansem (terranort thing) as an ass. so. thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy~

a-n: mentions of abuse (Ansem), human experimentation (you know as kids games have), and… iv’s? is that a disclaimer needed?

Braig, Dilan, Even, and Aeleus Reacting to their Crush being an Experiment of Ansem’s

(what a title)

Braig

Braig found out that you were part of the experiments when he went to annoy Ansem, as one does, and talk to him after he was done with the day; finding you alone in a lab was not part of that idea.

You flinched when he startled you, relaxing when you saw it was him, before running to him, asking him to take you out of the lab.

Ansem told Braig a couple of days before that you didn’t appreciate his advances to you, blatantly lying so that Braig would stay away from you.

Has Braig ever listened??? Nope; once he saw you, covering yourself in some towel that was in this lab, he was enraged, but stayed calm for your sake, taking note of your fear and clinging onto him.

He’s possessive and if a bitch wants to fight he’ll fight- you’re not gonna get hurt because of a blonde dude

He takes you out of the lab, silently sneaking around before you were far enough away from the castle for you to break down, clinging onto him even tighter while he silently comforted you. He leads you through the silent town before you were able to get to your sister’s house, still holding onto Braig.

Braig stayed with you, making sure that you were comfortable after everything that happened; Braig knew about the experiments, but if he knew it would have been on you, he would not have been as chill with it.

He confessed to you while you laid on his chest, calming yourself while he quietly talked, before you pulled him down for a rougher kiss, silently returning the feelings. Braig had a few choice… Actions with Anesem the next day.

Dilan

Dilan finds out after Braig told him about Ansem starting to act weird, seeming to stay much more private about the activities in his private lab, not even letting Ienzo sit in with him.

He didn’t think much of it at first, always finding Ansem to be a bit weird, before he noticed that he wasn’t able to see you as much as usual, and once he was discussing it with the other guardsmen, Ansem told him to stop trying to see you, that it would ruin his plans.

That was a foolish move on Ansem’s part; that was a bad idea to just tell one of the strongest men he had met that he wasn’t allowed to see someone he deeply cared about.

He ignored Ansem with every string in his being, finding you after a couple of days, pulling you aside with him in the gardens.

Dilan noticed that you seemed more bottled up, avoiding eye contact and wrapping your arms around yourself tightly before he pulled you in front of him, leading you to look at him by playing a finger under your chin.

He saw your tears in your eyes, threatening to stream down your face, before he gently asks you what had been going on, letting your walls break down to hold you against him

“Please, don’t take me back there! Don’t make me go back!” You sobbed into him, his rage only growing at seeing you in this state.

“I do not intend on doing so,” He quietly reassured you, kissing your forehead before taking you to your brother’s house, the rage bubbling over in him the next day. To say he exploded on Ansem is an understatement. He explained what he knew to your brother while you asked him to stay with you a little longer before you softly kissed him, returning the silent feelings between the two of you.

Even

Even found out in the worst way he could have believed; Ienzo running to him, crying out of fear, telling Even that Ansem was doing something scary, clinging onto him while Even attempted to calm Ienzo down. Once Ienzo mentioned you, however, Even took it a little more seriously; he knew that experiments could sometimes scare Ienzo, but never like this.

Even kept it in mind, talking to Ansem the Wise about it, asking him if he knew what Ansem was doing. When Ansem the Wise told Even that he was being secretive about it, it caused him to start to get irritated at him; their work wasn’t to be hidden from each other.

Even noticed the way you began to coward away from Ansem, even with Even around, before Ansem mentioned in passing to EVen that any feelings he might of had for you should be dismissed.

That didn’t sit well with him, making Even want to find you more while he had an internal war about everything that he was beginning to learn.

The next time he saw you, he saw the distinct bruises of IV’s and the cuts around your wrist from something restraining you. That was the final straw for him, granted he had like three straws, directly asking you what had been going on after he was able to pull you into town, completely away from the castle, disguised as an errand for Ansem the Wise

You pulled yourself against him, resting your head against his chest in a direct attempt at a hug, his arms wrapping around you before he silently kissed your cheek, a soft comfort which admitted his feelings for you, for you to kiss him on his lips with a burning passion, as if you were afraid to lose him.

He listened to you, hearing your silent pleads for him to believe you, while he listened to everything. Even could get irritated, but it took a lot to actually make him wrathful, and this was it. This is what caused him wrath.

Even took you to your best friends house, telling her what had happened and apologizing to you for not noticing before; once he returned to the castle, however, that was when his wrath was fully shown.

Aeleus

Aeleus ends up finding out because he noticed you staying more away from everyone, wearing heavier and bigger clothes while staying away from him

He thought he did something wrong, quietly talking to Dilan about it, before Ansem overheard, telling Aeleus to stay away from you and that it was none of his concern

That did not sit well with anyone who heard that; Do you really think someone that Aeleus could literally snap in half would stop him?

He thought about it for a few more nights, thinking about your body language while also thinking about the sudden change in attire for you, taking note of your sudden abstances and fearful glances at Ansem.

Aeleus was able to pull you aside one night, asking you what had been happening, for you to break down and cling onto him for dear life, hastily telling him while he held onto you, wiping your tears and listening intently.

That also did not sit well with him; it infuriated him. It takes a lot for him to get actually livid, and seeing you like this was one of those things.

Aeleus took you away from the castle, leaving you with a close female friend that he knew was unknown to Ansem, making sure you’re safe before taking care of you gently; helping you around while he notes how many bruises and where iv’s were, while you clung onto him, his touch comforting and warm, a sudden and accepted change to how you had been feeling for the last few weeks.

He admitted his feelings to you while he helped you around, softly telling you before you pulled yourself to him, hugging him tightly and returning his feelings, finally feeling calm after the last few weeks that could only be described as hell.

Once he got to the castle, returning with your absence, his stoic demeanor was completely forgotten

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lovelyjasmari · 5 years

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Kingdom Hearts OC Week 2019 ~ Day 1

I’ve really been looking forward to this! Let’s kick things off with my primary KH OC, Kalai! @khoc-week

Kalai/Alixka

Born in Radiant Garden twelve years before the events of BBS, Kalai is the result of a forbidden romance between Dilan and an aristocratic niece of Ansem the Wise. She is not aware of her true paternity and does not become aware until much later. When she is eleven years old, she is sent to live in the castle of her great uncle and his apprentices. Her new life is reasonably happy but a few years later, Dilan is sadly compelled to send Kalai away once Xehanort’s experiments of the heart become too dangerous and he begins tempting her to join in on them.

She then lives with Kairi and her grandmother for some time before Radiant Garden falls to darkness and she’s separated from them. Kalai is then transported to Traverse Town and befriends other refugees from Radiant Garden.But things turn for the worse again when she is ambushed by Heartless, being transported to The World That Never Was and becoming the Organization Nobody Alixka.

As a member of Organization XIII, Alixka Is known as The Maiden of Tempests and the senior members are all very protective of her, especially Xaldin. But as time goes on, she begins to question the true nature of Nobodies and if they truly can feel and have hearts. Her questions are shared with Marluxia and eventually they become romantically involved along with Larxene. Together they form a coup to overthrow Xemnas and unlock the truth of their existence and her eventual demise sends Xaldin into a furious downward spiral.

But she doesn’t get to enjoy humanity for too long because she is soon kidnapped to become part of the Thirteen Seekers of Darkness. Fortunately her time with the Seekers is brief and her reserve status enables her to make an escape thanks in part to Vexen.

After the war and after recompletion, Kalai joins the Royal Guard and is eventually reunited with Lauriam and Elrena. But during another Heartless raid, Kalai is injured and her weapon shatters, but then becomes a keyblade! As a result, Kalai decides to join her two keyblade wielding lovers to Land of Departure where they meet up with Lauriam’s old friend Ventus as well as Kairi who is now training under Aqua. The five of them set out to find Strelitzia and Sora and have many fun adventures together visiting different worlds, killing heartless and protecting the new Princesses of Heart.

Personality wise, before the Organization, Kalai is a very shy girl. Shy, insecure and with a deep fear of rejection. The result of an abusive upbringing in the home of her stepfather. As she ages she opens up more and begins exhibiting a more outgoing personality. In many ways she is like her father; determined, temperamental and stubborn at times.

As Alixka, she is coquettish and headstrong with many of her less likeable traits (bad temper, recklessness, overconfidence, etc.) accelerated though she is kind where it matters. She also hates being seen as weak and only shows vulnerability to Marluxia and sometimes Xaldin. With Marluxia in particular she becomes easily flustered and very “tsundere”, something he takes great amusement in.

Post Organization, Kalai’s personality is a perfect mix of being demure and ladylike but still fearless and ready to yeet anyone or anything that threatens those she cares about. A fighting spirit with a deep sense of purpose, she wants only to be happy and strong enough to protect those she loves.

And she’s terrified of Dreameaters.

Kalai will be the main focus of my prompts this week but I also have one or two prepared with my other oc’s. So I’ll do brief introductions for them as well.

More babies under the cut!

Iris and Adelen (Image created with this doll maker here)

Iris (right with auburn hair) and Adelen (left with sandy brown hair) are two of Kalai’s sisters, though they have different fathers they share the same mother. They return in Kalai’s life soon after her recompletion post KH3 with the hopes of reconciling with her and begin apprenticeships of their own. Though Kalai is wary of them at first, they eventually become very close, as close as any sisters can be.

Despite their noble background, both girls are very kind and unspoiled. Iris is the more quiet and reserved of the two with a deep love of learning. She loves to pass her time studying or helping in the lab with Even and Ienzo. Adelen on the other hand is more adventurous and extroverted. She cannot sit still for long and is always following behind Kalai wherever she goes. They quickly win the hearts of all in the castle as well as those in the Capital. As nieces of the Sage King, Kalai, Iris and Adelen are colloquially known as “The Jewels of Radiant Garden”.

Iris in particular quickly develops romantic feelings for Ienzo and vice versa. Kalai encourages their relationship and she and Adelen go to great lengths to further the budding romance between the two young scholars, often with adorably comedic results.

Ilysia (Image made with this maker here)

The daughter of Keyblade Warriors, Ilysia was born in Scala ad Caelum and has been raised from the cradle to become a Keyblade Master and consort to the warrior prince Eraqus. She meets her intended when she is five and he is six when they are betrothed and bequeathed the ability to use the keyblade in the future. From then on they grow up together and become very close, training and learning more about the light of Kingdom Hearts in which they are both sworn to protect. Ten years later they meet a newcomer from another world, Xehanort.

Ilysia is quite a hot tempted young lady with a great hate of losing. Oddly enough, if one manages to best her in any way, Ilysia will take that as a sign that they are a worthy opponent and will gain respect for them. This is initially how she and Xehanort becomes friends. After her marriage to Eraqus however, they begin to drift apart due to their conflicting views on light and darkness. Over time she and Eraqus become the keepers of Land of Departure and take an orphaned youth into their care, Terra.

Though they did not always see eye to eye, this did not diminish the care Ilysia had for her friend and when word comes that Xehanort may be trapped in the Realm of Darkness, she and her husband do not hesitate to go and find him. Unfortunately, this rescue attempt is what ultimately seals her fate.

Anila

Orphaned at the age of 9, Anila is taken in by a member of the Key Council that assists with the governance of Scala and becomes a companion to the young Ilysia during their training. Though a little older, they soon become fast friends. As a child she is outgoing and rambunctious and that only increases as she ages. Despite not being of royal blood, Anila is truly a warrior at heart, a formidable fighter as wild and free spirited as the wind itself. Her name actually means “daughter of the wind”.

Though not as hot headed as Ilysia, she is always down for adventure. Anila is the type of girl crazy enough to do something like jumping from one cable car to the next in midair.. She also has a deep interest in the world outside of Scala and her interest is only made stronger with the arrival of Xehanort. They have a particularly strong friendship and they are always challenging each other in different ways. It’s implied she may have feelings for him when they are younger but her pride would never allow her to admit it and eventually she grows out of her feelings. Xehanort on the other hand, well…. *shrugs*

Soon after acquiring the title of Master and after Ilysia’s wedding, Anila gets her chance to explore the many worlds when she sets out on her own quest to seek knowledge similar to the one Xehanort took. Eventually she befriends a group of young adventures and joins them, becoming very close to one in particular; a lancer by the name of Tarian. They marry, settle down in Radiant Garden and eventually have a son, Dilan. That’s right, she’s Kalai’s grandmother! They meet for the first time post KH3 when Anila is already an elderly woman and she could not be prouder of the fact that her granddaughter is carrying on her keyblade legacy. She lives in a small province outside The Capital of Light but visits the castle often and spends much of her time teaching Kalai tricks with her weapon (age has not dulled her ability) and telling her stories of her youth in a world long gone of white windmills and cable cars gliding across the sea.

#KH OC #kh oc week #kingdom hearts oc week #kingdom hearts oc #MY OCs #kalai oc #alixka oc #Ilysia OC #anila oc #iris oc #adelen oc #sorry for no artwork yet #that will change tomorrow

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kukiwi · 5 years

Text

Bad Company

Series: Kingdom Hearts Pairing: Riku / Ienzo Rating: M Summary: Ienzo doesn't know what it's like to have friends much less how to make them. Perhaps he's lucky that day he runs into Vanitas. Sometimes a person just doesn't know what they need until it slams right into them and threatens to beat them to a pulp. A/N: For the beautiful and most amazing @mis-kitty ;w; Tysm dear <3 <3 Also On: AO3 || FFN

Alone even when he has people rushing around him that are constantly making sure he has everything thing he needs and that he's alright. It's something Ienzo has been since his parents died. Rather, perhaps even more that. He's not quite sure and doesn't care to really think about it.

He's lucky though! At least that's what he hears everyone whisper when he's allowed to go to the store with his siblings or anywhere really. He's just always lucky to have them. Even Isa tells him how fortunate he is that Aqua has taken up the mantel of making sure they didn't get split up.

Even though it's only possible because of the small fortune their parents left behind for them. Unlike most they made sure that no matter what that there would be safety nets for their children no matter what or when. Especially considering how much travel they always did.

Ienzo would trade all of that to have them back. Trade everything to know what is going on and why every day feels like he's just drifting in and out of consciousness. Every single day blends together in his young twelve year old brain. Nothing makes sense and yet he stores is all in the shelves of his mind.

From home to school back to home. There's no friends or extracurriculars. He's exhausted just from having to do that much. Yet angry that he's where he is. So furious that he's treated like he's a baby and can do nothing for himself. That is aside from the homework he brings home.

Of course Ienzo wants friends. Every kid does. But he can't seem to find any common ground with any of them. And certainly not now that no one knows how to approach him since he's been gone a week to mourn. Then again, this special school for "genius" intellect isn't exactly thriving in social skills or how to develop them. It's all about being the smartest and pampering each child so that they can go onto the best things.

It's not the kind of atmosphere Ienzo wants. Yet he's told it's what he needs. To be placed in a tiny box with his name labeled on the front. Despite his young age he's already thinking far too ahead. Further than any child should and the fear and doubt that bubble up inside of him every day only continues to grow.

He just wants to have some fun.

Which is exactly why he's staring at his feet as he stands outside of the large pristine school's steps. Ienzo smooths his hands down the front of his gray blazer with the white and dark red emblem. He knows very well what he's supposed to do when he misses the small bus used to take the sports kids home. As well as though that have stayed late.

But Ienzo has made sure to stay even later than that. If only by a few minutes he's managed to miss the bus and has decided not to call either of his siblings to see if he can get a ride soon. Oh no. He's more than determined to make it home all on his own.

This idea isn't something he planned. It simply fell into his lap since one of his teachers asked him to stay to discuss what he plans to do about his project since he hadn't turned in a thesis. Rather, he had forgot it at home.

It's simply the perfect storm. Or as Ienzo sees it, opportunity.

Still, he's having problems with taking the first step. Resisting the urge to pull his backpack around and dig out the small phone Aqua bestowed upon is harder than he ever thought. He shouldn't worry them, the only family he has left, but he can't keep the rebellion inside of him at bay.

Desire to have other experiences, to prove he's capable - he just has to have it.

Ienzo knows his way home. He watches the roads and the signs. Not to mention Aqua made sure of it. Better to know just in case, she always says. He takes a deep breath as he finally steps onto the sidewalk and makes that fateful turn. The one that has him treading away from the school.

The nerves in his stomach are nonexistent for the sole reason that he's determined. If can get home on his own then maybe Isa will ease up on him. Just maybe.

Every step has him closer to his home and more determined than before. That is until he comes to a crossroad where he's not sure which way to take. He knows it's right or left. Ienzo bites at the inside of his cheek and glances both ways. The long slate colored hair draping over the right side of his face sways against his cheek.

The wrong way and he'll be lost.

Left.

Ienzo makes the split second decision and quickly marches on, the way that avoids him having to cross the street with the crowd that's waiting for the light. This way he can keep moving. Not that he attracts any attention as it is. No one so much as glances his way.

This bothers Ienzo as well. It's nothing new that no one notices him or reaches out. Even if he tries it tends to not last long. He's just not sure what he's doing wrong. It all becomes more apparent when he comes across a small playground with kids of all ages running around while some parents watch from the sidelines. Even a few older teens are there, surely having to keep up with their siblings.

Everyone seems to be having fun despite the chill in the air that makes Ienzo's nose become red. He looks on, observing quietly from the sidewalk.

So easy… it just looks so easy to have friends.

But his interests aren't the same as anyone he's talked to. Sure he's good at almost all of his subjects but that isn't his hobby. It's not his desire. It's not… fun. He's just not sure about anything right now.

Now the way those kids race through the playground and howl at each other doesn't particularly spark anything in Ienzo either. But it does have a small smile touching his round face. He licks at his lips and tilts his head, craning his neck to see more of the jungle gym fashioned in a large train around the area.

It's the lack of any purpose for the tomfoolery that resounds inside of Ienzo. All of that left the day his parents died. Perhaps slightly before that if he thinks hard enough. His older brother and sister try. But lately they're never together except for dinner. Unless Aqua manages a day off.

"Hey there."

Ienzo starts, taking a step back as his eyes widen. Bright sapphire stare straight through the boy in front of him. So caught up in his thoughts Ienzo never heard or saw him coming. The other child smiles cheerfully and holds out a piece of candy in the prettiest magenta wrapping that Ienzo has ever seen.

"Are you lost? Or did you wanna come and play?"

Still he can only stare. He's conflicted and curious. But most of all he's a tad enraptured by those large blue-green eyes that actually look at him. Never mind the white hair or the impossibly bright yellow t-shirt. Ienzo is in awe just with the boy's smile. At least that is until the smile shrinks a little and brows pinch upward in concern.

"You okay?" He tilts his head to the side, bending down slightly to get a different angle on Ienzo. "Can you talk?"

"I…" Ienzo glances off to the side as his phone rings. The vibrations seep through the bag and into his back. He knows he'd better answer, and soon, or there will surely be hell to pay.

That's when the boy notices the mark on Ienzo's jacket. His mouth forms a small 'o' while he straightens back up. "You must be from that fancy school! I'm glad we don't have uniforms, that must be weird to wear the same thing… every day?"

The boy trails off as Ienzo quickly removes his backpack, "I'm fine. Thanks."

He turns on his heel but the boy won't let him leave so easily. He grabs for Ienzo hand and in that split second of contact he presses the candy against Ienzo's palm. It doesn't stop Ienzo though, he merely keeps moving until he's well away from the playground and that boy. The one that made his heart thump loudly in his ears.

Once he calms down enough he drops the candy in his bag, but only after looking at it and wondering why the boy bothered, and grabs out the cell phone. It's nothing fancy like some of the others kids in his class have. Although it does exactly what it's intended to do.

Call Aqua.

It barely has a chance to ring before her voice comes to life, "Ienzo? Ienzo, where are you?"

"I'm on my way home."

"Did you miss the bus? Where are you now? I'll come pick you up."

Her frantic tone has Ienzo's heart dropping into his stomach. The last thing he wanted to do was worry her. "I just passed the playground. I'm okay though, really."

"I'll be right there, don't move and stay on the phone with me okay?"

"Okay."

He steps out of the way of some adults so they can pass by him and resigns himself to waiting. He can only hope his brother didn't come with her. Ienzo knows he'll make a big deal out of this too. No different than when he wandered off to get more napkins at the movie theater last weekend.

It's not very long before the small white car that he knows very well comes to a stop before him. The driver's door swings open and Aqua practically tumbles out with how she ends up kneeling before Ienzo. Her hands are all over him trying to make sure he's not hurt anywhere.

"Aqua…" She doesn't take notice until he huffs, "Aqua, stop."

She hesitates, mouth agape and eyes worried as she stares up at him. Her short cerulean hair brushes about her face as the wind picks up again. Her gaze, an identical shade to his own, looks up at him with nothing but concern. There's only love in the way she suddenly reaches forward and wraps her arms around him, pulling him close.

"I'm sorry. We can talk about it when we get you home."

"Yeah…"

Ienzo knows very well what that means. He's not out of the frying pan yet. In fact, when Aqua finally pulls away and gets back into the car Ienzo can finally get in as well. Only to realize he's jumping right into the fire when he sees Isa in the back seat also. He doesn't dare say a word and merely climbs in, shutting the door and cradling his book bag on his lap.

It's his safety harness, tethering him to a place where he won't get that look from his older brother. The one that says he's disappointed. The one that says that Ienzo should have known better because he's not a child yet he is. However, Ienzo is surprised. Isa is quiet the entire drive home. One that's filled with furtive glances over at his brother. He can never tell what he's thinking or feeling.

Once they're home and all safely inside the single floor house does Isa finally speak up. Ienzo can barely get his shoes off before Isa is turning curtly on the heel of his sneakers. He's intimidating solely on the fact that he's taller and the way his blue hair frames in his green eyes only forces Ienzo to look at them all the more.

"Why didn't you call if you missed the bus? Something could have happened."

He never truly raises his voice. Not that he has to. It's the calm anger that has fearful nerves knotting up in Ienzo's stomach. Isa is only fifteen, Aqua only two years more than that, and yet to Ienzo at this very moment it feels like more. He feels tiny and insignificant. To the point where nothing he says will make any difference.

"I… I know the way home."

"Obviously you don't. What if someone had run off with you? You scared us to death doing that."

Aqua reaches out, placing her hand on Isa's shoulder. It calms him immediately. Rather he resigns back into silence so that Aqua and step forward. She gives a reassuring smile to Ienzo, one that helps settle him back into a sense of security. At least a little.

"We're not… mad. We're just worried about you. The three of us is all that's left, we have to look out for each other. Don't you agree?"

Ienzo stares down at how his fingers tightly clench onto his backpack. He gives a small nod.

"So, to make sure we know we're all safe and sound after school I'll always come and pick you up okay? And when Isa can do it and I can't then we'll let you know." Aqua stands up and gives him a stern look, "Just don't ever do that again. Not when you can call one of us."

He tries not to seem frustrated or guilty even. He just keeps his gaze down even as she pats him on the head. "Come on, let's get some dinner and we can do our homework together."

0-0-0

Ienzo's pre-teen years are no different. In fact, very little has changed in two years. The only difference is that he's gotten a bit taller and now Isa is the one that primarily retrieves him after school since Aqua is working. Even though their parents left them a nice little nest egg didn't mean anything to her. It won't last forever after all.

However, Aqua and Isa are very aware that the thing that truly won't sustain is Ienzo doing as he's told. School is the only thing they don't concern themselves with. Ienzo is always at the top of his class and working towards getting into a bigger field if he wants it later on. He's impressed many.

Yet there's still a part of him that aches to be recognized by his siblings. Enough to be able to go down the street to the corner store and back. He's fourteen, he should be able to at least pull that off without worry or so he believes. Ienzo has attempted to try and do things out of favor with this guardians.

Not calling when he's ready to be picked up or even answering his phone on the first try. They aren't very rebellious in theory but it's enough to show he's trying to push away.

However, for a few weeks he's been slipping out when he's left home alone. It's nothing big. Just down to the corner and back. But today is different. Ienzo sits on the couch reading a book when Isa walks over to him.

"Any homework tonight?"

"No, I finished it all in class. Were are you going?"

Isa gives a smile, a petite one that's heartwarming to say the least. "Meeting up with a friend. We have a project to finish and he forgot his notes about it at school."

Ienzo raises a brow, "Do I need to do anything about dinner then?"

"No," Isa begins as he strides over to the door with his bag on his shoulder. "Aqua will be home in time. Don't make any trouble for her while I'm gone."

Ienzo bites back the retort he wants to give and instead fashions another. "I'll see you later then."

The second the door shuts after Isa leaves he feels a little more free. He jumps up and rushes over to his room. Of course he doesn't bother changing out of his clothes. That'd take too long. Instead he grabs his wallet and his phone while throwing a note onto the kitchen counter before rushing out the door as well. Although he is careful to give Isa enough time to get some distance away.

Heart pounding in his ears and excitement rushing through his veins, Ienzo can barely help himself. He's happy. Everything feels so empty lately that even that the smallest amount of outside stimulant has his palms sweaty and a smile on his face. He did make sure to leave the message in case Aqua gets home prior to him. He's not sure if she'd believe he's with friends but they don't ask much about any relationships anyway.

There's a place his parents used to take them to now and then, just as a treat, that has priority today. Well past the corner store in this tiny neighborhood and out onto the larger streets he goes. It's not very far away, close enough to walk to even.

Frozen Delight.

The small ice cream store is the best in this part of the city. Although Ienzo is a bit biased considering it's the only one that sells certain flavors; specifically sea salt. All he has to do to get to it is round one more corner. So close he can practically taste it already.

Thud!

Ienzo stumbles back after slamming straight into someone else coming from that direction. The person in question yells as he nearly falls backward as well save for the friend that grabs onto his shoulders. A little disoriented, Ienzo looks up to see a very disgruntled dark haired teen with bright golden eyes. To say he's fuming is an understatement and Ienzo knows better than to anger someone, especially someone that Isa would deem bad company.

The teen looks friendly aside from the angry look on his face. He merely dresses far different than anyone else Ienzo has ever met. From the black jeans with rips and restitching down the fronts to the matching tank top and dark red jacket drooping off one shoulder. Then again, Ienzo can't take his eyes off the thick boots that stomp over to where he's picking himself back up.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"Vanitas…" the boy behind him starts, trying to curb his fury.

"Nah-uh, this brat just ruined my ice cream. I don't just let that go!"

The much taller redhead behind this Vanitas rolls his eyes — eyes that glimmer like emeralds. He places his hands on his hips. "I can buy you another one. Come on, if we don't hurry Larxene will yell again."

But Vanitas is paying him no mind. He's already up in Ienzo's personal space and despite being just a hair shorter he doesn't seem like it. Not when a fist curls into the front of Ienzo's blazer. He's so focused on Vanitas and the glare he's getting that he doesn't even notice the look that the other teen gives him. Those green eyes widen slightly — just enough as he realizes something.

"Sorry, I didn't see you coming."

"Sorry is not cutting it punk! You're going to buy me another one for that or you'll get a-"

"Hey, Vanitas," the redhead says as he slings an arm over the mentioned boy's shoulders. "I think we should get a little more than just ice cream."

"Eh? Lea, this is my prey or do you not get it. He screwed up my-"

Vanitas finds himself staggering to the side as Lea tilts his head, trying to meet Ienzo's eyes — rather his visible one. "Ya know, you probably shouldn't go out on the town in your uniform." Lea taps his knuckles against the emblem of Ienzo's school blatantly on the front. "Gives you away."

Ienzo raises an eyebrow, "How so? It's just a school logo." He glances over to Vanitas, trying to remain calm even though he's freaking out inside. "I can buy you another. I really do apologize."

"So what's a prep mouse doing out and about anyway? Don't you have homework?"

Returning his attention to Lea, Ienzo sighs. "You should to unless you'd rather be in school the rest of your life."

Lea's eye twitches but it doesn't matter. Vanitas heard what he wants, it almost has him snickering. He pushes Lea away and grabs Ienzo's wrist, "Ignore the flagpole and let's go get my ice cream."

He rushes to catch up. Which isn't hard considering Lea is taller than both of them. "Wait, wait, wait!" He skids to a stop in front of them with his hands out to force them to do as he says. "I'll buy the damn ice cream if he takes that jacket off. Don't wanna get any looks from people."

Ienzo is about to ask when Vanitas lets go of him. "Hurry up, kid."

"I'm not a kid."

"Yeah, whatever."

Removing his jacket, Ienzo throws it over his arm and allows Vanitas to lead him over to the door of the shop. Lea goes in and it leaves the two of them alone. Something Ienzo isn't too thrilled about. Yet, he's surprised when Vanitas glances over at him before quickly looking away.

"What's your name?"

"Ienzo."

"Heh, so are you some goody-goody that does what Mommy and Daddy say?"

Ienzo looks down at his feet. He's not sure what to say to that. It makes his heart ache to even think about. He does have people he still answers to in that regard. But the original two — the ones that meant the world to him, the ones that were his indestructible heroes — are gone.

Vanitas must notice the way Ienzo's eyes glaze over. In fact, he's about to say something — more than likely tactless — when footsteps near them. Footsteps that bring four friends laughing and chatting as they get closer. No matter how much Vanitas wants to reply he can't help but send a glare at the blond that speaks low, although Vanitas still hears him.

"Maybe we should wait till they leave."

A cruel smirk carves onto Vanitas's countenance as he turns, hands sheathing into his pockets. "I guess the geek squad likes ice cream too. Well and Roxas too."

Roxas, the blond with spiky hair and fierce blue eyes, marches up to Vanitas. He stops short and instead reaches for the door. "I still get better grades than you. Aren't you failing science?"

Vanitas's eye twitches. He hears enough of that from his parents. It doesn't help that Roxas is his lab partner either. Exhaling through his nose, Vanitas is about to let a string of curses, perhaps even a response, leave his lips when Lea opens the door. It forces Roxas to step back to the rest of this friends.

None of them truly catch Ienzo's eye. Not the way the one in the back does. He's taller and looks just like the little boy he met two years ago. He doesn't know his name but he's seen him around since then. Aside from different clothes he looks the same, so much that Ienzo has to tear his eyes away. Although, it's not before the object of his attention notices.

"Come on, can't we just get along and have ice cream," Lea says as he holds one out toward one of the girls.

She smiles and brushes some of her short black hair behind one ear. In fact, she's about to reach out for it when Roxas steps in front of her. "We can buy our own ice cream unlike you."

Lea merely shrugs and instead hands it to Vanitas. "Then can we get out of here? Don't wanna keep them waiting."

Vanitas huffs and begins to walk back down the street, backwards at that, and Ienzo wonders how he hasn't run into people all the time. "Hah! Don't eat too much they might kick you off the soccer team small fry!"

Ushering Ienzo along, Lea tries to get them as far away as possible before Vanitas pops like a balloon in a room of needles. But if there's one thing that Roxas always gets with Vanitas it's the last word.

"You're shorter than me, five foot three!"

That's all it takes. Lea hands the bag of ice cream pops to Ienzo and grabs for Vanitas. He spins the dark haired teen around and pushes him away — anything to get them to round the corner. In the distance, as Ienzo is the last in the little train, he can hear the dark haired girl sigh.

"Why can't you two get along, he's your brother after all."

Ienzo picks up his pace and rushes to keep up with Lea. Which happens to be a lot harder than it looks. Once they come to a stop a street and a half away, Ienzo returns the bag to Lea. "Roxas is your brother?"

Vanitas glares at him, "Yeah. And so are the other two goody-goodies. Three hellspawns that are beyond perfect."

Lea grins wide as he takes out an ice cream and hands it to Ienzo. "He's better at other things. Like pissing people off." Without hesitation Vanitas punches Lea on the arm. "Oh! And math."

"Math?" Ienzo says as he raises a brow. "I could help you with your science-"

"I don't need anybody's help!"

Laughing like a madman, Lea claps Ienzo on the back. It's not very hard but with enough force to have Ienzo taking a step forward. "You might want to be careful."

Just as Ienzo is about to open the ice cream he can feel his phone vibrating in his back pocket. A sigh slips from his lips as he reaches back, pulling it out. Lea quickly swipes it from him but he doesn't answer like Ienzo expects him to. After he rejects the call, Lea cycles through the commands and swiftly inputs his number.

"Wh-What are you doing?"

Lea smiles down at Ienzo and hands it back, "Text or call me if you wanna hang out. Got it memorized?" The confusion on Ienzo's face is well worth it. Lea chuckles, "I put Vanitas's number in there too. Besides I could use the study help."

Vanitas glares, "You should ask before you give away my number. Might lose a hand doing crap like that."

"Yeah, yeah I hear you over there." Lea leans in close, whispering into Ienzo's ear. "He's like a cat. Get on his good side and he'll stick to you."

"Hey! What did you just say to him!" Vanitas is about to walk over when Lea meets him half way. "I mean it, I'll kill you if you're making fun of me again."

Once they're down the corner Ienzo dials back the only person who would call him; Aqua. It doesn't even really ring. She answers immediately, "Ienzo? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I was at the store. I'll be home in a minute."

"Okay, I'll be there about the same time then. Just wait for me and I'll help with dinner. Love you, see you soon."

"Love you too."

Ienzo hangs up the phone and slips it into his pocket once more. The way home isn't anything other than bliss. Eating as he goes, Ienzo feels a little pleased with how this turned out. At least now he has an honest excuse when he says he's going to hang out with friends.

Not that he's entirely sure about this. Then again anything is better than nothing. And from the sound of it he'll be seeing plenty more of those others in the future as well.

0-0-0

Aqua smiles over at him as she sets down the smoothie in front of him. She's taken up quite the interest in blending whatever fruit she can get her hands on. However, she'll never hear any complaints from Ienzo. There hasn't been one batch that he hasn't liked.

Ienzo glances over at his phone as it chimes a few times. He takes a sip and puts his book down, settling for grabbing his phone instead. Glancing up at Aqua, he tips the drink toward her. "This one is the best so far."

She claps her hands together, "I'll make sure I get more strawberries then."

The text isn't one he expects. Sure he's been hanging out with Lea and Vanitas lately, not to mention the other two. Well save for Larxene. He's met her in passing but hasn't gotten the chance to truly meet her. The past few weeks have gone rather well and none of them make him feel unwanted. Each is a little rough around the edges but so is Ienzo. He feels happy being around them.

It's never dull at least.

"Hey, Aqua?"

"Hm?"

"May I have a couple friends over?"

Aqua thinks on it for a moment, crossing her arms over her white blouse. "Well… I don't see why not since you don't have any homework." She strides around the counter, the heels of her light brown ankle boots clicking and clacking against the tile. "If you need me I'll be in my room."

As she walks away there's a chorus of knocks on the door. It has her stopping with a smile and deciding to get it for Ienzo. Except the friends she expects to see definitely aren't what she imagined they'd be. Nor that they'd be here so soon.

Vanitas is no different than usual. His clothing is in tatters in many places and his nails are colored a dark red. Not to mention the two piercings on his left brow. The much taller boy beside him, Demyx, is less of a threat visually. He looks rather plain save for the way he styles his dirty blond hair and the small dot of a nostril piercing.

"Oh hey! You must be Aqua!" Demyx beams as he reaches out a hand. Aqua doesn't know what to do other than to meet it, allowing him to vigorously shake her hand. "We've been trying to come over and say hi forever now."

"Ah, it's nice to meet you both."

Ienzo is by her side in the next second and gives Demyx a look, one that says he's overdoing it again. Demyx only laughs while Vanitas scoffs. Gesturing to each in turn, Ienzo introduces them both. "That's Vanitas and this is Demyx."

Aqua takes a step back and begins toward her room, "Well, feel free to make yourselves at home. Ienzo, if you need anything-"

"I know."

She gives a final smile toward him, happy he has friends he can have fun with, and leaves him to do just that. As for Ienzo, he knows better. Once she turns into the hallway to her room at the back of the house he raises a brow. "Why are you two really here?"

Demyx scoffs, feigning pain. "I'm hurt, Ienzo. We just wanted to see you."

Ienzo turns and makes his way back to the kitchen. Of course his friends follow with the sound of the front door shutting in their wake. Ienzo sits back down on the barstool he was on, piling his things together in front of himself on the small island in the middle of the kitchen. Vanitas hops up to sit on it next to Ienzo while Demyx is too busy looking about.

Leaning back, Vanitas grins. "If I go home Roxas is just going to yell at me for doing the project wrong. Let him do it himself if he's so smart."

"What about Lea?"

Vanitas raises an eyebrow, "What about him?"

Ienzo can't help but sigh. At least until his eyes catch onto something shiny, something that shouldn't be at that. Though, Vanitas does keep talking which is exactly what Ienzo is hoping he'll do.

"He's with Larxene. Something about pianos and I'd rather not have to follow her around while she looks at 'em." He swings his legs back and forth as he talks. "I was expecting some place that was super fancy. This is kinda…"

"Normal." Demyx finishes as he returns from rummaging around. "Got any soda?"

Ienzo nods, "Back of the fridge."

"Score!"

It's the fact that Ienzo never takes his eyes off of Vanitas's mouth which gives him away. Vanitas means nothing by it but he can't resist leaning forward until his face is right in front of Ienzo's. His fingers curl against the counter, keeping himself steady, as he does. "Like my face or something?"

A light tinge of pink dusts over his cheeks. Ienzo fights it back and shakes his head. To Vanitas it's far too easy. The back and forth between them is usually nonexistent anyway. He'd rather not listen to the lectures that Ienzo can give should get started on a subject.

This is why he opens his mouth, showing off the small little ball resting on the middle of his tongue. Just as quick as he gives it he takes it back, "Curious?"

"Didn't that hurt?"

"Hah! Not at all! Were you thinking of getting one?" The dramatic shake of Ienzo's head has Vanitas bursting with laughter. "You don't have to get one like mine. Hmm, maybe the ears?"

"Can I… see it again?"

Demyx glances over from where he's poured himself some grape soda. Vanitas leans forward once more and sticks out his tongue. It's just then that the door clicks shut and Isa is suddenly standing in the open threshold to the kitchen. His eyes widen as he looks on, unsure about the characters that are with his little brother.

"What's going on?"

Ienzo doesn't even turn around. He keeps his back to his brother as long as he can lest he lose his nerve entirely. "Aqua said I could have some friends over."

"I see… and she is?"

"Her room."

Isa quietly takes his leave, obviously wanting to go verify this and these other two boys as quickly as possible. Especially if it means he can kick them out before they taint Ienzo further. Little does he know it's too late. The small tastes of freedom these new friends have given him is more than enough to have him try exploring who he is and not what he's meant to be.

Ienzo gives a hum of thought, "Maybe an earring wouldn't be so bad."

Vanitas laughs again while Demyx walks over. The blond smiles wide, "You know what, you haven't even met Larxene yet when he's not rushing around. I think it's about time." Demyx leans against the counter. "I think maybe she could help you with that."

"What?"

"The piercing. She knows the lady that does it."

Vanitas grins, "Hey, you two wanna go grab some ice cream?"

"I'll pass."

They both look at Ienzo, a little disappointed but knowing full well why. Vanitas chuckles as they head to the door. "Try not to upset your guard dog too much. We'll steal you away next time."

0-0-0

Meeting Larxene all those months ago helped change Ienzo a little. There's just something about the blond that demands everyone that's around her to be the best of their own self. She doesn't tolerate cookie cutter anything. Differences are what she thrives on. Well, that and poking fun at Demyx. But that's only because he's more than certainly the smartest out of them all. Hidden intellect, Ienzo calls it.

Isa didn't, and still doesn't, agree with Ienzo hanging out with them. However, Aqua is more forgiving. Her only stipulation is that Ienzo keeps his grades up. He's even found something he's interested in. Still, he's not sure biochemistry is truly something he wants to pursue. Which is why he thrives in the hours after school or on the weekends that he can be with his friends.

Although neither of his siblings agree with him slipping out without a word about where he's going. He's gotten a bit better about it but nonetheless he can't help it if Isa won't listen to a word he says.

Which is exactly why he always informs Aqua. Much like today where he finds himself sitting outside the large mall. Beside him is Vanitas, who is very proud of himself for helping pick out a majority of what Ienzo bought, as they wait on the others to finish up at the last store. Something about suspenders being on sale.

Vanitas nudges Ienzo with his elbow, "Make sure you keep it clean and follow the instructions."

"You follow instructions?"

A glare is what Ienzo gets in return. "If you want an infection go ahead. Not even I'm that stupid." He makes a couple wild gestures as he does this and makes the small chain connecting two rings on his middle finger to jingle. "I bet you can't do it. You'll take it out and let it close up, don't want your guard dog to get mad."

The grin on his face at the end dares Ienzo enough to want to prove him wrong. Even though he'll be keeping the earring either way. Having someone to go up against doesn't hurt either.

"And if I do you'll pay for my next one."

"Pff- Fine."

Ienzo glances over at him, "How did the test go"

"Got a C. It'll keep everyone off my back at least," Vanitas huffs.

"Then I'll see you Tuesday after school to study."

Vanitas turns, confused and a little agitated with the sudden plans. "What? Why?"

"Because you have another one coming up. You need to study more."

Demyx, Larxene and Lea all come out just as Vanitas groans. None of them ask what they could have been talking about. Instead, Larxene gestures to the two black and white bags at Ienzo's feet. "Get enough, dork? Or do we need to hit another store?"

Her sharp, and sometimes cruel, tongue doesn't bother Ienzo much anymore. Spending almost a year now with her has made that easier to handle. It's just how she is. If anything she's just as fierce as she is beautiful and her final word on any matter with the group means more.

"No, this should be enough to start with. Thank you for your help, Larxene."

She places her hand on his head. Larxene is already taller than him but even more so when she wears her boots with the three inch heels. "See, he knows how to thank me. What the hell is wrong with the rest of you?"

Lea shrugs and Demyx whines, "That's 'cause you're mean."

"And you're a snotty baby, what's new?"

Demyx sticks out his tongue when Larxene isn't looking. She's too busy basking in the praise the baby bird of the group is willing to give her. Tussling his hair, Larxene gestures toward the parking lot. "Alright, Demyx, where's the car?"

His face turns white as a sheet.

"You've got to be kidding. You had one job."

Vanitas pushes away from the wall and strides past Demyx, but not before whispering something to him. To everyone looking in at them it would seem that Larxene and Vanitas are the harshest members of their little group. But to Ienzo, they all help hold each other together.

"Ah, I remember! Four, we were at four!" He gives her a smirk, "Now who's useless?"

Larxene rolls her eyes, "Let's just get going I have practice in the morning and it's late enough as it is."

Now that Lea has license or as good as one that no one will question because he drives safer than anyone else on the road, he's their chauffeur. Lucky for Ienzo he's usually the last to be dropped off. Not that he'd ever complain. There's something nice about the peaceful silence, comfortable silence at that, which settles between Lea and himself.

Well, except for tonight. Lea glances at Ienzo from the corner of his eye. "Did you really save up your allowance for this?"

"Of course. Aqua isn't going to just hand me a hundred dollars without me explaining what it's for."

Lea, safely at the last red light before Ienzo's neighborhood, looks at him. "Wait. Hold on, you didn't tell her what you were doing today?"

"She might be okay with it but Isa wouldn't." Ienzo turns his gaze out the window with a huff. "He doesn't like change."

"Yeah… I get that."

Ienzo can feel it. Lea doesn't particularly agree with his decisions since they've met. But it's no different than any other kid looking to rebel. The only thing that they do bad is Larxene smokes occasionally. Even then Ienzo is pretty sure it's only in certain situations or around a particular group of friends that get under her and Vanitas's skin.

Pulling up on the curb, Lea gets out as well. It confuses Ienzo at first but he often forgets that despite the raggedy layers of clothing and obscene about of black and red plaid there's a gentleman in there. Ienzo tugs his bags along and heads straight for the front door. He just gets inside, with Lea idling at the threshold, when he hears his brother.

"You're home late."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Sorry, got distracted," is all he says while shucking off his shoes.

But Isa is already there with his arms crossed over his chest. He's already dressed for bed, a simple black tank top and some sweatpants, and Ienzo can only assume Isa has waited up for him. "You could have called."

"You could have too."

"Get to bed, you have to be up early. It's not my fault you won't have enough sleep."

Ienzo shoots him a glare before walking off. But not before giving a wave over his shoulder to Lea. Just in the hallway he stops, suspicious of the lack of sound from a shutting door. He's sure Aqua is asleep. Which is why it surprises him when he can hear Isa raise his voice ever so slightly.

"I don't know what you think you're doing but stop. He has a good path in front of him, he doesn't need you screwing it up."

Lea glares back, "Me? You're the one pushing him away. You know, that thing you did to me too." Isa is about to counter when Lea cuts him off. "You walked away, Isa. I was just trying to be there for you when your parents died and you cut me off. I tried for months only to be told to go away."

"I have to take care of-"

"Ienzo? Because Aqua does everything and you just want to lessen that burden? Maybe if you weren't so damned busy trying to fix what you think is wrong with Ienzo you'd realize you're the one that's unhappy instead."

"You don't have the right to say that to me."

"Right back at'cha, buddy. When you wanna be friends again, I'll be waiting for you to unlock the door so I can get back in. 'Cause I'll just keep trying."

Ienzo panics a little, scurrying for his room, as the door finally shuts. He slips away while Isa is left at the door. His chest hurts and he knows Lea is right. He's the one that's done this. That pushed away every friend he had and when Lea needed him too. After all, the same thing happened to him. Isa sighs and leans against the door, "It doesn't matter now."

0-0-0

The next morning finds Ienzo more than just tired. He's mentally exhausted. Of course he had an idea that Lea knew Isa. But he didn't realize they were that close. It would explain why Lea drops everything if Ienzo needs something. Even so he can't bother with thinking too much about it. Today is about Aqua. It might only be her twentieth birthday but every single one is important to them as a family.

Ienzo grabs the small white and blue box that has Aqua's present and slips it into the back of his dark purple jeans. The only thing that isn't new on his person is the pair of sneakers. Even the white shirt with black sleeves is new. A simple chain necklace is around his neck and of course the small silver ball piercing his earlobe.

No matter what he'll never be awake early enough to beat Isa. By the time he's out of the room and in the kitchen at a sharp ten in the morning Isa already has everything done save for plating the food. Isa doesn't turn around, "Ienzo?"

"Yes?"

"Go wake Aqua up for me. Breakfast is ready."

Ienzo spins on his heel and retraces his steps back to the hallway. The only difference is instead he takes a left toward Aqua's room. He gives a few knocks on the door before a tired voice tells him to come in. Ienzo strides inside to see Aqua wrapped up in a dark blue blanket, not wanting to crawl out of bed just yet. Only her head pokes out the top. She yawns before giving him a smile, "Good morning."

"Happy birthday," Ienzo counters as he walks over. "Did you sleep well?"

She nods and sits up, pushing the blanket down to at least her waist. Aqua rubs at her eyes and yawns again. Her sapphire eyes glance over him and she can't help gesturing him to come closer. Ienzo knows she's always had a keen eye. She'll notice something far before anyone else he knows. Aqua sees him after all. Not saying Isa doesn't, but he's far too busy trying to keep Ienzo safe half the time.

Ienzo sits on the edge of the bed while Aqua pats his leg. "I like the color. I might have to get a pair myself." A giggle leaves her at the look on Ienzo's face. "I'm kidding. But I do think you look good in them."

"You can always go with me next time, we all could." The end of his sentence ends in a whisper, unsure of it even still.

"Well, I hope you don't mind me buying you jewelry for your birthday now. I know just the earrings you'd like."

His eyes widen as she reaches forward, brushing her thumb over the little stud.

"Sorry."

"I just wish you'd told me. I would have taken you myself."

The sad look in her eyes isn't from what he's done and he knows it. He took a moment they could have had together away. Something she wanted to be there for. He swallows hard and tries to reassure her, "I didn't plan it. I'm… I hope you don't think I'm giving up and wanting to run away from school work."

She laughs softly and reaches out for him, pulling him in for a hug. "It's okay. I know you're committed. You're just… finding yourself. But, do let Isa and I help you. Don't make him the enemy, okay?"

He knows what she's saying. They've all had it rough and nothing seems like it'll be perfect again. Yet they still have fun. They can get along. They love one another. He just has to meet Isa halfway more and more. Returning the hug, Ienzo presses his face into her shoulder.

Aqua pushes him back, hands on his shoulders, "Just stay out of trouble alright and be safe. That's all I can ask for. I know Lea won't let you do anything too crazy."

"You-"

"Isa might not want to talk to him but he answers me just fine."

Ienzo tries not to laugh. He doesn't doubt that at all actually considering how Aqua can be just as convincing as Larxene. "You'd better wash up. Isa already has breakfast ready."

"Alright, I'll be right there."

Leaving her to get ready, Ienzo hurries out and back to the kitchen. The second he's there he notices that Isa has already plated everything and gotten the drinks out. All he's doing is cleaning things up while he waits for Ienzo and Aqua to return.

Ienzo strides over, beginning to hand him some of the dirty dishes out of his reach. "She's just getting dressed."

There's a moment of silence before Isa finally speaks up. "I'm sorry about last night. I think I wsa a little… too harsh."

"My friends aren't as bad as they look."

"I'm just-"

"Worried. I know." He steps away from the counter and heads for his seat. "You don't have to pretend. Just being my brother is fine. It's more fun when you're not trying to control everything that happens here."

Isa switches the water off and spins around, drying his hands on a towel as he marches over to Ienzo. "You won't pay attention to other possibilities so I have to do it for you."

"If you don't let me fall how can I learn to get back up. I just want friends and to have fun, what's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing. I just…" he stops as Aqua rounds the corner, coming toward them. "Happy birthday, Aqua."

"Thanks you two. And you made so much!" She takes a seat next to Ienzo and gestures to him. "You and I need to take him to get some real earrings for him next week."

Isa's eyes widen but only for a moment. He quickly regains his composure and grabs for his glass, opting to stand while they sit on the stools on the other side of the island. "Alright."

Quiet and trying to let the tension leave the room as best he can, Ienzo reaches into his back pocket and pulls forth the box once they've made it through breakfast. He scoots it closer to Aqua. "I wanted to give it to you early since you're going out with friends today."

"Oh, Ienzo." She quickly pulls the top of and can barely believe it. The little bracelet with the single star charm on it is absolutely beautiful in Aqua's eyes. Against Ienzo's wishes, she leans over and pecks his cheek. "Thank you so much, I love it. I'll make sure I wear it tonight!"

Ienzo blushes and slides off the stool, "Um, Isa, do you want me to do dishes before I leave too?"

"That'd be nice, thank you."

Once he's managed to do all of the dishes, Ienzo makes a break for the door. He hasn't even called anyone to see if they're free. But it doesn't matter. Not after Isa gave him that look when Aqua mentioned the earring. He's just reaching for the doorknob when Isa grabs his wrist.

"Ienzo, wait."

"I'll be back early tonight, okay? I promise." He glances back at Isa, wishing for his brother to trust him. Just to let him leave. "And I'm sorry, I get it. Just… can I go?"

Isa sighs. "Call me if you need a ride home. If you're late you have to clean the house tomorrow with me not just your chores."

"Understood," is all Ienzo says before slipping outside and shutting the door behind him.

He's not happy they aren't spending the day together doing something for Aqua. But she's not a kid anymore. She has friends and they'll be out having a good time. Their little party for her can be tomorrow once the weekend hits. After a few streets he finally reaches for his phone. It's easier for Lea to pick him up at the ice cream place anyways.

But his fingers go into his pocket to find nothing. Not even his wallet. He wants to hit himself for even thinking of checking to make sure he grabbed them. It must have been when he decided to grab Aqua's gift first instead. He lets out a sigh as he stops, glancing to his left to see that little playground he happened upon all those years ago. The same one his parents took him too every now and then.

So enraptured in his thoughts, Ienzo doesn't notice his feet have kept moving and he slams right into the person coming around the corner. Ienzo falls backward, landing hard, while the other stumbles backward with ice cream dripping down his shirt. "You… have got to be kidding me."

"Calm down, it's just ice cream Roxas."

Ienzo looks up and indeed he's right there. Vanitas' brother. "Uh, sorry about that I wasn't paying attention."

Roxas glares, "Don't tell me Vanitas put you up to this. Where is he?"

"He's not here."

"I-" Roxas stops as the boy next to him steps around him, extending a hand toward Ienzo. "Riku?"

Short white hair and those shimmering blue-green eyes. He's the same every time Ienzo runs into him with his friends. Of course Roxas usually does all the talking considering his history with Vanitas. But Ienzo's eyes always manage to find this… Riku. The name sounds a little exotic and Ienzo would love to be able to say it aloud. But he doesn't. What he does do is tentatively take the hand offered to him.

Riku helps him to his feet. He begins to talk, although it's toward Roxas instead. "Go ahead and meet up with the others, I'll be doing something else."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, tell Kairi I'll make it up to her later." Riku waits until Roxas hurries past, heading toward where Kairi and Xion are waiting. "Are you okay?"

Ienzo stares up at him, confused by how Riku has gotten so much taller than him. "I… I'm okay you don't have to stay. You'd have more fun with your friends."

"Says who?"

The retort has Ienzo's lips sealing shut. He doesn't know how to respond in the slightest. All he can do is watch as Riku chuckles.

"It's fine. But you look upset. We can talk about it over ice cream if you want."

"Ok…"

Ienzo isn't sure why he goes along and allows Riku to turn around, his hand finally leaving his own, and guide Ienzo back toward the shop. All the way he tells Riku what's happened. He doesn't know how it's so easy to spill everything to a boy he's only looked at from afar. Perhaps it's because he's on the sidelines of Ienzo's life that it doesn't matter.

The entire time Riku listens. All the way till they get to the counter and sit down at one of the tables inside. It's only then that Ienzo sighs, feeling as though a boulder has been lifted off his shoulders. "Thanks… Riku."

The name feels strange on his tongue. Not that he can focus on it when Riku leans back against the bench like seat. "I'm glad you have siblings that care though. It's hard being an only kid."

Ienzo glances over at him as he eats the sweet and salty treat. "Oh… yeah. I know."

"I remember when I first saw you actually. When your sister came and picked you up. I thought it must be great." Riku takes a bite out of the ice pop. "It's just me and my dad. But that's not so bad either. He doesn't get onto me when I get a low grade on an essay at least."

"Do you need help?"

Riku looks over, "Don't you go to that fancy school though? You must have no time to-"

"I finish most of my work before I leave school. If you need help with anything I could tutor you. I already assist Vanitas."

At this Riku laughs, "I was wondering how he suddenly was getting good grades. It's been driving Roxas crazy." Standing up, Riku glances down at Ienzo. "Don't move. I'll be right back."

He rushes away back to the counter only to return with what looks to be a pen. Ienzo raises a brow at him but doesn't flinch when Riku grabs his free hand. Riku lightly holds onto Ienzo's fingers and begins to scribble a number across his skin.

"I'll let you know when I'm free and we can meet up."

"Alright."

0-0-0

Weeks turn to months that Ienzo has been helping Riku. They've grown closer to where they don't just meet up to study. Sometimes Ienzo will go over to Riku's just to play games or meet the rest of Riku's friends. Of course he doesn't completely stop hanging out with Lea and the rest. Something that Vanitas gives him earfuls about all the time, not to just ditch them. He's sure Vanitas has gotten a little attached. Then again, he cares about them all in return too.

Even so, it's no different than today. Ienzo finds himself in Riku's living room with books sprawled across the coffee table. Riku sighs as he drops his notebook on top of everything else. "Finished, finally."

Ienzo glances over to him, "You should be able to ace the math test now at least."

"Hey, Ienzo?"

"Hm?" Ienzo hums as he gathers up his materials and pushes them into his backpack. He knows Isa should be here any second to pick him up after all.

"I was wondering if you'd want to go to the movies this weekend."

"Don't you usually go with your friend to work out then?"

Riku leans his arm against the back of the couch and then his head on his upraised hand. "I'm trying to ask you out on a date, Ienzo."

Ienzo whips his head back around to look at Riku so fast that he's sure he just gave himself whiplash. He swallows hard past the lump in his throat. Words aren't something he's good at when he's caught off guard like this. He can only stare for a moment and let out a small noise, "Me?"

"No, the textbook. Of course you."

"But… why?"

"We hang out all the time. You're smart, kind, and cute on top of it. Besides, when you call or text me… it makes me happy to see your name on my screen."

The blush that covers Ienzo's face doesn't want to dare go away either. "I… I'd like that."

Riku, seeing that Ienzo is open to this, reaches down and grabs one of Ienzo's hands. He laces their fingers together and brings Ienzo's hand up just as the doorbell rings. A single kiss to the top of Ienzo's hand has the latter practically melting in his seat. "I'll see you then, you'd better hurry before Isa has to wait too long."

Ienzo nods, barely able to talk at this point, and picks up his bag. Riku walks him to the door with their hands still clasped together. In fact, Ienzo doesn't even think about it until the door is opened and Isa's eyes glance down at the joined hands. Nothing shows on Isa's face as Ienzo finally pries himself from Riku. He hurries to the car but not before giving a wave back at Riku. He covers his mouth and gets into the car, unable to believe this is happening, that his crush has actually born fruit.

Meanwhile, Isa raises a brow at Riku. "I'm sure you know what I'll do if you hurt him."

"A good thing you'll never have to."

Isa smirks as he turns around. He's at least glad Ienzo has been with better company, in his opinion at least. But the last thing he wanted was his little brother to get into a relationship. He'll definitely have to talk to Aqua about this one. They're going to need more ground rules. It's just a good thing that Isa is aware that Aqua knows Riku's dad. That'll make it a lot easier to deal with.

0-0-0

Summer is just within his reach now. The only thing that truly stands in his way is the project he has to do during the break. Yet his siblings have come to an agreement that he can do that any time while he's off. While Aqua is on vacation as well they're going to spend a weekend at the beach. It's a nice little drive to get there but every second is something Ienzo has enjoyed.

The two days with just the three of them has been the most enjoyable and healing moments with them. Just a little bit of fun has eased a lot of the tension that's been building up between Isa and Ienzo. It's just a shame that it's coming to an end.

Isa ruffles Ienzo's damp tresses as they walk back up to where Aqua is packing a few things up. She's always ahead of the game but she's also the one that gets to drive back. Just as they're getting close there's a voice from a little ways away that calls out to Ienzo.

"Hey!"

Ienzo turns just in time to see Riku run over to them. Isa gives a look before heading off to help Aqua finish gathering everything to go home. Although for once Ienzo wishes he hadn't. He can see Riku's friends off in the distance. He's sure they were probably here earlier and it makes him wish they didn't have to leave just yet. Even though it's only a little after noon they have to get back since Aqua has work tomorrow.

"I didn't know you were coming to the beach."

Riku laughs, "It was spur of the moment. Kairi and Xion really wanted to come before they go on vacation with their family."

"And you're the driver. Don't you have to have an adult with you?"

"Haha, technically." Riku chuckles. "Are you leaving already?"

Ienzo is about to answer when Aqua is suddenly behind him. She smiles at Riku over the top of Ienzo's head while her hands fall onto his shoulders. "Oh, Riku are you all just here for the day?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Then would it be alright if I left Ienzo with you? I have to get back early because of work but if you could promise he'll make it home safe?"

"Of course. I'll make sure he's home before it's too late or I'll call Isa."

"Thanks." Aqua pats the back of Ienzo's head, "I'll have Isa bring you your back and I'll see you tomorrow."

Ienzo turns, watching her walk away. There's a smile on her face and he knows she's probably proud of herself for that one. If anything it means he gets to spend more time with Riku. Of which, Riku grabs his hand. "Come on, if you're not too water logged let's go."

The rest of the afternoon and even the beginning of the evening vanishes far faster than any of them had planned. Unfortunately all good things have to come to an end. However, there is one silver lining and it's that he's the one that gets dropped off last. It only makes it that much better that Riku walks him up to his door to top it all off.

Riku hands Ienzo his bag, having carried it for him. "I'll pick you up tomorrow around noon, is that okay?"

"You can't stay?"

"I don't think Isa would like that," he says with a laugh.

Ienzo nods, he understands that much. But it doesn't stop him from wishing Riku could come inside for the rest of the night. Ienzo turns only for Riku to step around him, holding onto his shoulder. Riku looks him in the eye and gets his lips a little closer to Ienzo's. It's no different than the countless other times they've kissed yet somehow Ienzo feels it is.

They've been officially dating for awhile but this is so much more. The kiss that pushes against his lips makes his stomach knot and his eyes close merely on instinct alone. Everything about it is perfect to the point where Ienzo drops the bag and instead grabs onto Riku's arms. He tries to keep him there as long as he can but Riku must notice something he doesn't. Something that has him pulling away with a smile.

"Tomorrow."

"Mhm."

Ienzo doesn't dare watch Riku walk back to his car. His face is too hot and his vision dares to sway. All he can do is scoop up his bag and hurry inside. Not to mention avoiding looking Isa in the eye as he does.

0-0-0

Nothing has truly changed in almost two years. Then again, there's nothing to change. There's a quiet understanding. Ienzo is surely going to rebel in some form and Isa is going to be all over him about it. But Ienzo finds it comforting now more than ever at least. It's a comfortable mess that they enjoy nonetheless, especially since Ienzo will be going off to school where Isa can't hound him at all for getting to bed on time or eating right.

To a degree, Ienzo will miss it. He'll miss everything and how normal it is. But there's one thing that won't be changing and that's Riku. There's only one person that's going to be in the same city and close enough to harass him. Not that he'd change it. He wants nothing more than to push this relationship further.

But for now he has to wait for Riku to even come pick him up. Ienzo takes a deep breath and walks out of his room, spotting Isa on the couch once he makes it down the hall. "Isa?"

"Hm?"

"I'm going out with Riku. Might be back late."

"Again?" Ienzo passes by the couch and Isa is quick to stop his retreat. "Wait, just a minute."

Ienzo decides it's better not to push his brother. He knows he's tired after working all week. "Do you need something?"

Isa looks up at him. Those green eyes seem to hold secret emotions that Ienzo only wishes he could tap into. Then again, Isa never has been very good at expressing how he really feels. If there's anything he's learned from his brother, and Lea as well, it's that. They're both a mess and it drives Ienzo crazy. Perhaps that's why he takes a moment to sit on the edge of the couch.

"I actually want you to meet someone. Well, he wanted to meet you actually." Isa gives him a rather concerned look, he had thought he met all of Ienzo's friends already after all. "I know you don't always like who I hang out with or how something might change but… thank you for being there for me."

A knock echoes off the door and Ienzo goes to stand. But Isa won't let him. He's already grabbing Ienzo's wrist and yanking him forward. The hug that Ienzo is met with is one that has him realizing Isa might just be a little scared of things changing again. He knows it because he's the same. But it has to happen.

Isa says not a word, just lets Ienzo rise and answer the door. The silence means more than any words ever could. Then again he might not feel that way once Ienzo does open it, revealing a familiar shock of red hair waltzing into the house. Ienzo keeps his hand on the doorknob, "I think you'll get along. I'll message if I'll be late."

The second he's out the door Ienzo can't help giving Riku a smile. Unlike Lea's car, which is parked in their driveway, Riku's is humming at the curb. He has to resist sprinting over and launching himself inside. Instead he calmly makes his way over and settles himself onto the passenger seat.

He's just buckling his seatbelt when Riku grabs his hand. Lifting it up, Riku places a soft peck to Ienzo's knuckles. It has Ienzo's face turning beet red. "W- What are you doing?"

"Apologizing for being away for your birthday."

"You already did. A dozen times."

"But not in person." This time he turns Ienzo's hand over and another kiss lands on the inside of Ienzo's wrist. "Presents are nice but not when I couldn't be there to give it to you that day."

Ienzo swats Riku away with a chuckle, "Are you sure you're not just glad to be home?"

Riku laughs and finally pulls away, putting the car back into drive so they can leave. "Maybe, but you're here after all. I guess you finally talked Lea into sitting down with Isa?"

"Sort of. I still think he'll keep tabs on me even when I leave."

"That's just being a good brother though."

Ienzo glances out the window, "Yeah I know."

"Any place you wanna go?"

"No, just your place is fine."

The drive is quickest that way. Riku doesn't live very far away and before they know it Riku is pulling up in the driveway. Getting out of the car, Riku strides for the mailbox. "Go ahead and make yourself at home. I'll grab us a couple drinks and be there in a second.

Doing just that, Ienzo heads inside. He doesn't hesitate and goes straight for Riku's room. Ienzo slowly sits down onto Riku's bed while he waits. He glances about the room, wondering when Riku is going to begin packing. It's a little ways off before that comes into play but even still Ienzo knows very well that time flies by.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." Riku walks over and sits next to Ienzo. There's a smile on his countenance as he hands him one of the sodas he's brought.

But Ienzo doesn't pop the top or even look at it. He's too busy gazing at the young man next to him. To say he's never not enraptured with Riku's eyes is an understatement. They're a window into Riku's very soul and it's the most beautiful thing that Ienzo has ever seen. No little baby crushes have ever solidified like this one has.

Riku reaches out with his now free hand and cups at the side of Ienzo's face. His thumb brushes over Ienzo's cheek to his ear, bumping up against the piercings he's gotten over the years. However, to Riku he sees something entirely different. While he feels the same, he also can feel the uncertainty pooling in Ienzo's eyes. It's the same gnawing notion that resides in the back of his mind as well.

There's no way this can last. They're so young still, just at the cusp of adulthood, and there's so much left to life. Surely they can't help from growing apart. That maybe they're just two dumb eighteen year olds clinging onto each other because it's all they know.

Then again, maybe that's not so bad.

Ienzo can't even think of moving away, not that he'd want to, when Riku leans forward. He wants the kiss that ensues and wishes it never has to end. The lips against his own are soft and seemingly so sure of how they move against his. Ienzo simply can't fathom being apart from them at the moment.

Reaching out, Ienzo lets the can drop to the floor with a soft thunk with Riku's joining it soon after. Neither pay it any mind. Not when Ienzo's hands are grasping onto the front of Riku's t-shirt. Riku is pulling away far too late and they're both left breathless. Ienzo gasps for air as he drops his head to lean it on Riku's chest between his hands and the fabric they clutch at.

Riku presses softly at Ienzo's shoulders and the latter understands. He falls backward onto the bed while also succeeding in taking Riku with him. Their legs are a tangled mess but their chests are together and their faces only an inch or so apart. Ienzo's hair falls away from his countenance and for a moment Riku is lost in those swirling blue depths.

So lost that it wraps around him and has his face dipping down to kiss along Ienzo's jaw. Along the curve and across his neck, Riku can't stop himself from leaving evidence all over the flawless skin. Ienzo mewls and sighs as Riku's hands join in on the fun. The slip up beneath his shirt, pushing it up to reveal his stomach — all in the effort to reach the sensitive peaks.

Ienzo won't let Riku have his way for very long. He's too determined to touch Riku in return, never has their affection for one another been one sided. The instant that Riku lifts his head to place a chaste peck to Ienzo's bottom lip is when Ienzo strikes. He flips them over with relative ease. So much in fact that he knows from the look on Riku's face that he had no qualms in helping Ienzo do so.

Lips seal together all over again. Ienzo pushes his hands up into Riku's hair, tangling his fingers with the short strands. All the while Riku's drift down to Ienzo's waist. Fingertips tease the waistband and a shiver races up Ienzo's spine. Riku kisses his way from Ienzo's lips to his cheek.

"If you want to stop at any point, just say so, okay?"

He blinks a few times. Ienzo wants to continue. There's no doubt in his mind about that. Especially not when his skin feels as though it's on fire wherever Riku decides to touch. Ienzo dips his head down further and whispers back to Riku, "…okay…"

Riku is swift about unbuttoning and pulling the zipper down for Ienzo's jeans. All so he can slip one hand down the back of them and his boxers. The cool touch of Riku's fingertips against his rear is enough to have goosebumps rising to Ienzo's skin. Riku, noticing the slight squirming, gives a smile.

"Cold?"

Ienzo brushes their noses together, "You could have given a warning."

"Or just give me a second and I'll warm you back up."

This is nothing new. He's used to the way that Riku's hands cup and caress his body. The only difference is there's a purpose now. One that should leave them both surely twitching with the desire to do it again.

Ienzo leans into each and every touch until Riku withdraws completely with but a lingering kiss left on Ienzo's lips. Flipping their positions once more, Riku lies between Ienzo's legs. He grinds down against Ienzo. It ignites the fire into an unstoppable force of need.

Wrapping his arms around Riku's shoulders, Ienzo pulls Riku down to lock their lips together. Their pelvises grind together while hands continue to roam as if they have nowhere to truly land. At least until Riku dares to slip his hand down the front of Ienzo's jeans next.

"A- aah! Riku…"

It's certainly not a plead to stop. The surprise in his voice cannot be matched by the way he pushes up into the hand cupping at his heat. Fingers wrap so securely around his length that for a moment Ienzo can't help but break away from the kiss he instigated. Riku pecks the side of his jaw, "Too much?"

"No… more, keep going."

As if Ienzo opened the door and invited Riku inside, the latter spurs forth to do just that. He rubs his hand up and down the hot length as best he can without pulling it out completely. Their bodies hum with a desire so rich and hot that Ienzo can't resist it. He copies Riku and sends his hand into the latter's pants as well.

The rhythm they fall into is one they could comfortably stay in for what feels like an eternity. But they both know that can't happen. At least, Ienzo still has enough sense to know he can't wear Riku's clothes back home. Ienzo pulls away entirely, "Riku, wait."

He backs off immediately, sitting back on his haunches and giving Ienzo a rather concerned look. He's about to ask what Ienzo would rather do when Ienzo grabs at the waistband of his jeans and yanks them down. Calling Riku's bluff is easy when he can use that as a distraction from the fact that he's nude down to his knees.

"I never said stop."

Riku can't help chuckling. Of course Ienzo would say that. It's why he gives a roll of his eyes and slides off the bed. He strides over to his dresser. Plucking a few things they'll need, Riku glances over his shoulder. "Then you'd better get those off the rest of the way."

This time he's not surprised to turn back around to see Ienzo's jeans and such on the ground piled atop his shoes. Riku doesn't bother with his own, save for kicking off his sneakers, before getting back on the bed. He raises a brow at the modest way Ienzo covers himself.

"Ready?"

"Just… let me turn over or-"

"I thought you liked my face, why run?"

Riku lets what's in his hands drop to the bed besides him before grabbing at the backs of Ienzo's thighs. He guides them up, knees bent and spread open. Ienzo hurriedly reaches forward and grasps onto his own legs. It frees Riku's hands up once more so he can pick up what he brought.

The pop of a cap happens twice before Riku brushes his slick fingers between Ienzo's cheeks. The cold touch is unmistakable to the point that Ienzo jolts a little. They both give a nervous laugh at this. If only to shake off the tension of Riku pushing a finger inside of Ienzo.

Uncomfortable and foreign. He's done it himself plenty of times but to have Riku be the one who is stretching him now has his mind on fire. Much like the rest of his body. Ienzo tries so hard to keep himself relaxed. He just can't resist tightening around Riku when a second fingers dares to enter.

Seconds. Minutes. What feels like hours.

Ienzo doesn't know how long it takes for Riku to finally be able to get four fingers inside of him. At least to the point where it's not this unforgiving stretching feeling, as if there's no way he can be opened up any further.

"Are you… Are you done yet?" Ienzo huffs as he finally chances looking down at what Riku is doing.

On the other hand, Riku has been staring up at Ienzo. He's watched how Ienzo's face has contorted with each motion or when he added a digit. The hazy eyes and the way his flush has spread from his face to his ears as well as down his neck and touching his chest. Not to mention how excited he is from just this.

"Yeah, just a second."

Riku has taken the opportunity to figure Ienzo out just a little. He's never done this before with anyone else. Everything from here on out is a new adventure he can't wait to be on with his boyfriend. He tries to busy himself after he pulls his fingers out of Ienzo with a wet pop. He's slow in how he gets ready. And Ienzo watches it all with baited breath.

From the opening of the condom, putting it on and then finally slathering it with extra lube.

Ienzo is fixated on Riku as he settles up so that he can push right into him without missing or making a mess. The softened muscles twitch as Riku begins to pierce Ienzo with his manhood. The prep and slickness make it that much easier for Riku to sheath himself into Ienzo little by little.

The resistance is still there and it's all Ienzo can do to try and keep breathing. Even if he doesn't tense up he's still tight. So tight that Riku can't believe the pressure. It feels so good. There's nothing about it that he doesn't like; suctioning around him, the heat, and of course the mewls that come from Ienzo when he moves even the slightest bit.

Completely connected, Riku leans forward and braces his hands on the bed on either side of Ienzo. He gives Ienzo a small smile, "You okay?"

"Y- Yeah."

The breathless exchange isn't nearly as loud as their heart thumping loud in their ears. It's deafening. Ienzo lets go of his legs and instead lets them wrap around Riku's waist, securing him where he's at. That is while his hands clasp onto the sides of Riku's face and bring him down. "Move and kiss me," he demands in a soft murmur.

Riku smiles as they kiss, "Sure."

The instance that their lips meet is when Riku pulls out just enough to push back in. The grueling struggle to get out is only made up for the fact that Ienzo's body eagerly welcomes him back in. This is nothing like what they usually do. So far past the point where they normally stop and simply cuddle up together that Ienzo isn't sure how long he can handle this.

It's as if Riku is turning him inside out, making a mess of all of his insides. These new sensations envelop the two lovers to the point where nothing else exists. The only thing they care about is remaining connected until the euphoria takes them over. The waves of bliss rush up their bodies each time Riku thrusts back into Ienzo, only for the latter's heels to press hard against him, urging him to continue.

Their mouths barely stay connected. Continuing to maintain their lip lock gets harder and harder each second that this lasts. Sometimes their lips even miss but all that matters is that Ienzo can wrap his arms around Riku's shoulders and keep him close.

They're together and that's all that matters. Especially since Riku can't last much longer. Ienzo is far too tight and hot to hold out. Ienzo lets Riku's tongue into his mouth just as Riku cums, all of the heat building up in Ienzo — filling the condom. It's a strange feeling to say the least but he's not quite there yet himself.

Riku seems to notice this when he retreats from the kiss. He sits up, pulling away from Ienzo's hold, and smirks. He pours some more lube onto his hand and grabs for Ienzo's erection. Legs dropping from around Riku, Ienzo reaches down for Riku's hands only to stop short. He can feel Riku still inside of him even though nothing is coming of it.

That coupled with the slick fingers jerking him off has Ienzo bringing his hands back to his face. He covers his countenance and tries to muffle his own moan as he cums. The relief and bliss mingle together inside of his body as Riku withdraws. He doesn't notice the older boy cleaning everything up or chunking what's been used into the waste bin on the other side of the bed near his desk.

What he does know is that Riku is on the bed next to him, flopping down rather suddenly. It has Ienzo bouncing a little before Riku turns him over. Chest to chest and nose to nose, they idle for a moment. Riku smiles and brushes Ienzo's hair away from his face, "Think you can stay the night?"

Ienzo smiles back at him, "I don't see why not."

#fanfic #kingdom hearts #ienzo #Riku #rikuzeku #is there even a ship name for ienzo riku?#....rizo? LMAO #pffft #very long fic #best read elsewhere probably xD

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theeverbloomingdarkness · 5 years

Text

THE MUN PLAYS KH3

Here are my notes/comments I made while playing through KH3. The thoughts that went through my head.

***SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. SPOILERS. SPOILERS.***

Tuesday, Jan 29th. 5:00 pm.

-Finally home and ready to play. Colored lights on, fluffy pants on, favorite blanket nearby, cats fed, pizza in oven, cold water in fridge, juice smoothie drink standing by. Waiting on my pizza to finish so I can eat dinner while listening to the title screen music. Have not put game on yet. (Just so happened to get my Marluxia keychain the other day too! Got my game today.)

-Here we goooooOOOOOO.

-OATH ORCHESTRAL IS SO PRETTY. Also expected recap. I bet there will be a lot of flashbacks in the game (update: not at all).

-Cable town seems a precarious place to live- also a pain to get around. Pretty. there’s a LOT of islands. (Update: homeworld of Keyblade wielders? Or base)

-Eraqus playing dumb? Messing with Xehanort? Or is he actually just like that and doesn’t know.

-Queue intro. Music feels off slightly but that could just be because I saw the trailer one first. Also new Marluxia content, gonna need a gif of that little clip jumping over the scythe.

-Darkside, of course. Nostalgia reasons. Would have been more interesting if they changed up the fight with him, I think. He’s always been a pretty lame fight.

HERCULES WORLD

-Cutscenes feel much more natural (first reaction). Also Donald getting shit on, always fun. (Update: the amount of shitting on each other in this game is unreal)

-Hercules’ new voice… Is it new? IDK, but I find it unnerving.

-The Instagram loading screens are weird? Not a big deal.

-Maleficent’s much needed glow up.

-The graphics are odd because some things look super good and then some things look kinda weird sometimes. IDK I just started. Generally very pretty.

-SORA, DONALD, GOOFY. Is this going to be a thing again? (Update: yes, it is)

-Guess Phil isn’t going to talk at all? Sort of weird (Update: speaking of NOT SPEAKING. Aeleus and Dilan. Not a single peep. Wow.)

-Xigbar’s voice is changing into Xehanort’s now. Someone help him.

-Holy shit an NPC. WTF was that scene??? I think that’s all that needs to be said here. Just, what? How did that even work? No idea where the girl was/how far? Didn’t see any fire? Too slow? Yeeted into the universe. Little girl saved???

-Jumping around when you get hit with fire is annoying.

-Fighting those Titans was a shirt storm. It was soooo janky for me. (update: the combat in this game is incredibly aerial based)

-“May your hear-- ?” Unsure if game bugged or not. (Update: I get it now. Thanks, epilogue.)

-So Axel DOES get an outfit, wonder if we’ll ever see him wear it. (Update: AT THE VERY END

-Phone call. Is it my boy IENZO??? Oh, nope. D: WAIT, there he is.- -MOODY AELEUS??? What does he have against Roxas? Just because he left the Organization? Yeah, like Axel. Stop the bias against the other Org members.

-GODDAMMIT they did it again with the title card.

TWILIGHT TOWN

-Seifer and gang left for a “hero’s journey”.

-IENZO SPYING? IENZO CHUCKLE. Ienzo didn’t know= that makes sense. He’s so…happy (Update: he really is chipper in this game) -KIDNAPPED EVEN? -Just get Even to make him a body. -I too could go for some hot wings, little girl -Talking about Sora. I figured, but I hoped.

-Darn you Axel for being attractive -DILAN

IT’S MARLUXIA TIME. MARLUXIA TIME. MARLUXIA TIME

-What a lovely world; everyone’s having a nice time… It sure would be a shame, if someone….ruined it.

-Mar you creep. PINK EYES?

-FAVOR? Oh. :I Balance, eh? Do you believe that Mar? Also would rather forget? Himself, or does he mean Sora?

-Marluxia does indeed dislike nicknames.

-Is Marluxia really out to protect the light/Rapunzel for balance? If it were anyone else it’d be easy to write off. (Update. Like Larx for this story it’s just about making sure they have the PoH backups)

-Time for Mar to be an ass. Lol. Sounded like he wasn’t even trying. He likes it when they run. Also I guess Mar tied Flynn up in this version? -HE’S SO PRETTY -SLEEP BOY! Also…Mar? New power? Lol. How handy, wish I could do that to myself. (Also the comment about him being good at sleeping or something? Guess he knows that from DDD? When they were all there at the end. Or upon learning he was in a pod for a year.)

-The bosses thus far have been huge and really annoying to hit/air battles.

-On Marluxia, still looks like they’re just using him for Nort fodder at this point. Even though it still makes no sense at all.

-And I’m sure that’s all I’m gonna get this game for Marluxia.

-ALSO, Reapers baby. CALLED IT.

-Get Even to make one! Well Goofy’s right, Ienzo might be able to do it. OH MY GOD I CALLED IT. Good job Riku for being smart.

-*Sidenote: If you haven’t seen Tangled some things might seem disconnected to you as a player. (Update: this goes for most of the Disney worlds actually.)

TOY STORY

-Final Fantasy??!?!?! LOL Riku and Noctis fusion

-WTF. Shot by YMX into Square Enix? Oh nope, Gigas.

-OOO Woody burn. No one loves you Xehanort.

-Should have been ,“There’s a snake in my boot”

-ANOTHER Woody burn.

-I feel like Young Xehanort learned something they already knew???

-OH YEP. Need Even. I wonder if Aeleus and Dilan will talk in this game (Update: nope)

-OOOO Evil meeting. Everyone yell so you can hear each other. DAMN IT VEXEN, you mad science man. At least it’s a believable reason for Vexen. Unlike Marluxia, which is total bullshit

-Gummi flying takes forever.

FROZEN. Ready to see my girl Larxene

-This is literally the my friends are my power game with the way the combat is set up (Update: Very Aerial and AOE oriented gameplay)

-Also enemies have a lot of HP

-Lol. Oh yeah, memory loss. They filled her in.

- Using the electricity to move the blocks and trap them… I can be like, ok I’ll buy that. But this is a complex-ass labyrinth

Along with Marluxia’s sleep thing and now this,… Headcanon that it’s due to Xehanort influence possibly?

-Larxene Nobodies! They look like ninjas. YEP. Just checked. Called Ninjas.

-Giant Larxene knife symbols on wall. Classy.

-Did Larxene just show Elsa up with that labyrinth btw?

-LET IT GO. LET IT GO. “I don’t know what I just saw”. lol

-What is with all this Larx ice using? I dun like it >.<

-Again boss is up so high the fight is really floaty and crazy

-What girl??? Who??? Namine? Kairi? Streli? Not Larxene . Must be Kairi. (Update: STILL DON’T KNOW THE GIRL. Future game plot point)

-KARATE Aqua

-Oh god, not Pooh Bear. Please be optional.

-Ienzo has an Instagram.

MONSTERS INC

-Alright Vani where you at?

-LMAO Sully just grabs him and throws him in a door xD That is a GOLDEN moment

-Ienzo’s gonna be the one who saves Xion Roxas and Ventus. Nice.

-This is “shit on each other the game” isn’t it?

-Oooo evil meeting. MY PALS. Marluxia is WOKE as fuck., he’s like nah he just wants our empty husk bodies as vessels. Larxene ain’t having it, yep, that’s what I thought. You? Canon ‘Marly’ Omg Benched, I believe it. REBEL GROUP. REBEL GROUP. (Update: I chanted this in my head a lot)

WHAT??? Another purpose? Luxord in. TELL US THE PURPOSE? All four of them? Wow. Demyx and Luxord in Union X confirmed. :/ Not a fan of this. Too many keyblades.

Ugh I want more plot Dx Gotta do Pirates.

*So it does seem like the four of them don’t want to be in the Org? But again they aren’t doing anything about it so???

So the reason they let them back (Mar and Lar even though traitors) is because they want their ancient keyblade powers. (Update: This is never mentioned again. Like, why does it matter to Xehanort? Did Xehanort pull them out of time? More questions)

PIRATES

- Vexen and Lux. Oooo Vexen not obeying. Luxooooord. REBEL GROUP. REBEL GROUP. -Pausing air fight to feed cats. Not enjoying this flying oof. Thank goodness it isn’t all shooting -Who needs air? -Wow nice ship and sails Luxord -Whatever you want eh Luxord? -Gonna honor the rules Lux? Did he lose on purpose? -Hope eh? -LOL No Parley. OOF breath on his face, into the ocean. Luxord just got burned. First Vanitas now Luxord - Dramatic walk scene? Awwww

-GDI Axel change your clothes -Was thinking this at the first scene but GDI I know people are going to ship these two

-Here comes darkqua? -A tale of two Ansems. Feeling Namine guilt? -Hayner bout to get FUCKED. WHAT GIRL? -WHAT THE FUCK? Nobodies? Who doing this??? -FUCK it’s Vexen. Good Vexen? What? :o Is he lying??? FUCK CLIFFHANGER. I appreciate all the diff character interactions in this game though. Does Vexen secretly have a heart of gold and is in on the REBEL GROUP?

BIG HERO 6

- Data Riku or Repliku? Going with Repliku. But the enemy is very codedesque. Also Data Riku is just Data, no body. Could also be timetravel bs - Replica confirmed. Not sure if it’s the same ”Repliku” - Hoping actual Repliku will come back. Riku did mention his other me after all

ALL PLOT FROM HERE ON OUT FINALLY

-Darkqua music was great

-Aaand she’s gone. Again. OR NOT

-Finally these two: Vexen and Demyx. DUNCE. LMAO their fighting. REBEL VEXEN. What’s in it for you, Demyx??? UHHH Not becoming Xehanort. (Demyx continues to be a douche character). Marluxia? Maybe. DEMYX TIME. Oh my god. Was that intentional??? LMAO Demyx is so ‘useless’ no one expects him to do anything. Nice FAMILY REUNION

VEXEN YOU LEGEND. I always liked him. Now it’s up to you Marluxia >:Y I think Vexen may have been talking about Ansem the Wise. Also may not still completely trust him because it says he went back willingly. Unless he changed his mind when learning about Ansem the Wise. (Update: Nope, Vexen really is a legend. I love him).

CASTLE OBLIVION -Vani fight, nice. Great music -HE UP. Go visit your old friend Mar.

-Ventus gets to meet both Axel and Marluxia as adults. How odd.

-Sudden Saix. So casual. WHAT GIRL? WHAT GIRL???? Is it Strelitzia? Skuld? New character? (Update: Again, future plot point.)

-Repliku with Riku.? YEP. DOPE. Save Namine? (Update: Yep. To protect Namine).

BATTLE TIME

-Enter Terranort. Shock for Ven to see. -Axel got fucked. -SHIT AN F5. - Everyone died. The end -STARS???? More pieces???? WAHHHT PAST? Union X Club??? Streli?! D’x

The Final World :O

-DEAD.

MARLUXIA? NO, VENTUS. YEP Ventus. Aw…

-Chirithy is great.

-Vexen gonna save the day with a replica? And Demyx lol. They both got benched. What a team up. (Update: And we never heard from them again. They literally just dipped from the Org and none of the Norts did anything. (Update: No idea what happened to Demyx. He dropped off the replica and was outie).

-DÉJÀ VU. Oof.

-EPHEMERA! THE KEEEEEYS. All the dead people

-UNION LEADERS KEYS. Also all the others, but I believe I saw five? What I’m saying is those four-five Starlights= Dandelion Union Leaders.

-??????? YEN SID DID SOMETHING HOLY SHIT

-Is Vexen with the coat guys up there??? -Also Demyx??? -Do they have a PLAN??? (Update: Nope, they literally just dipped).

-MARLUXIA THEME I HEAR IT

-MY CHILDREN WHY R U WITH XEHANORT???

-Thank you, Luxord awww. Such a cool guy…(Update: Sora still has the Wild Card)

AWww Larx. Heart tank? NO THANKS. Along for the ride- With?? (Marluxia?)

MY BOOOOOY Dx

*MEMORIES BACK???? Real laugh. A smile. He DID forget. Always about “purpose for being with Mar”. How did I predict that? (Update: Marluxia amnesia confirmed? Also why the heck didn’t /he/ rebel. Makes no sense. I blame Nomura. He also gave no reason for why he was following Xehanort. Again, it’s pretty BS. NO EXPLANATION.)

Riku down. Very interested in what Xigbar will have to say… Repliku repossession! NOOOO. Repliku stay! Roxas, of course.

PROTECT NAMINE. D’:

He just wanted that keyblade bro. What?????? Why the backwards drama D: (Update: Nope. Xigbar just playing the role, or should I say Luxu).

Fucking Axel. That smart mouth.

Saix would have let him die; also I knew it was Xion from trailers.

:O XION. He knew.

And Roxas is in. The music has been SO GOOD.

Vexen Zexion Ansem Demyx. LUL GET FUCKED Xemnas.

WHO IS THE HER>>>>

Vanitas sounds higher pitched in this game.

GUARDIAN??? This is weird.

I don’t believe in perma dead Kairi.

WHEN’S THE BOX? ALSO Luxord’s Wild Card!

*Btw guess Vexen and Demyx just left so the other Norts replaced them instead of doing anything about it

Awww, Saix. Or rather, Isa.

Didn’t shed any tears, but the part that got me feeling the most was with Xehanort and Eraqus tuff at the end, surprisingly

I KNEW IT WOULD END WITH A BEACH PARTY. Again, awwww, Saix.

*** WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO DEMYX? What did he even do to help besides delivering the replica LMAO??

WHY DIDN’T I GET TO SEE MY BOY IN THE ENDING? Maybe secret ending. ☹ (Update: Nah)

Oh yeah, Sora vanished btw.

*Xehanorts VA could have had a better performance.

-Wow. Xigbar really was the MoM? Union leaders alive? OH, nvm he’s Luxu. Guess he picked up on MoM’s behavior and mannerisms. Also been through many bodies I see… No Ava.

WHAT’S IN THE BOX GDI.

UH OH. New game board. 7 evils. Five being leaders and Xig, 2 Unkowns. Please don’t put Mar through more of that, IE make him be in another Org/group.

They never opened the box, did they.

#kh3 spoilers #spoilers #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kh spoilers #kingdom hearts spoilers

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astudentoftheheart · 5 years

Text

#child abuse tw

It was during that ephemeral in-between season where winter snow and spring flowers mixed that Ienzo was born. As though already aware of the many tragedies that would be befall him in his life, he raised his tiny hands up to the heavens and cried. As he was cradled by a nurse, his mother was asked if she was ready to hold him.

No matter how many years passed, his mother would never be ready to hold him. Perhaps it was not awareness of the many tragedies in the future, but of awareness of the tragedy of his very birth that Ienzo cried for. For little Ienzo had not been born into a loving family, but into one that saw him as little more than an unwanted societal expectation of the union between man and woman.

His tears didn't stop, no matter how much he was yelled at behind closed doors. The baby Ienzo cried and cried, until he was out of energy to cry... and only then, was he given milk.

Everything was different when they were in public, however. Out on the streets of Radiant Garden, Ienzo was paraded around like a trophy. So long as someone else was near, it didn't matter how hard Ienzo cried; he was greeted with only smiles and calming words. But as soon as they were alone again, "Shut up! You're making me look like a terrible mother, you brat! What do you want, huh?! You've had enough food! Shut up!" cruel words would be hissed at him under a harsh woman's breath, as though his smiling mother had never existed.

"Can't you control your kid?" His father would ask when they went out as a family, which would only fuel his mother's fury. She had always loathed those mothers with their crying babies, and had sworn she would be different. She hadn't been expecting the lack of control she felt over her child, and having it pointed out only filled her with more hatred for the 'damn thing'.

As the years went on, the only thing that changed was eventually Ienzo learned that he would be left alone if he didn't cry; that he would be fed if he kept his mouth shut. So while other babies and toddlers were learning how to say "Mama," and "Papa," Ienzo learned the opposite: Those were words never to be uttered, not by his lips. For a time, that was all right. For a time, never speaking never caused him any problems.

Unfortunately for Ienzo, however, while his parents were firm believers in the mantra of 'children should be seen, not heard' the other denizens of Radiant Garden were the opposite. As he got older, neighbors would say hi to him and become worried when he didn't say hi back. They would look to his mother and she would laugh and say he was just shy, bending down to take his hand and wave it at them while whispering threats in his ear.

Unfortunately for his mother, her threats had the opposite of her intended effect. Terrified by her words, his throat would close up and he would only stare straight ahead not even making eye contact with the neighbor while his mother waved his hand. His fears were proven well-founded when they would returned home, and his abuse would finally turn physical.

Beaten and yelled at, he would finally open his mouth... Only to be slapped and asked why he couldn't have done that earlier. Never receiving positive reinforcement, his vocal cords would remain shut tight for years. It wasn't until he was old enough to attend preschool that his intellect began to show, fast understanding most of the curriculum. The only part that eluded him... were the social cues his other classmates picked up with aplomb.

While his classmates were making friends, Ienzo would sit off to the side and played with blocks by himself. Whenever someone would approach him he would become overwhelmed and freeze up, sometimes even bursting into tears. It wasn't long before some of the stronger personalities in his class picked up on his weakness and he became a favored target for bullying when the teachers' backs were turned.

His teachers, concerned about Ienzo's ability to make friends, asked his parents if everything was all right at home. As one might imagine, they did not take kindly to their home life being inquired into because of Ienzo's shortcomings. However, any suspicion about their parenting was soon forgotten as they managed to deflect the questions by insisting their son was just the quiet, intelligent type and he would surely be making friends soon. After all, look at the way his father would ruffle his hair and how his mother would kiss his cheek. What problems could such a happy family have?

Behind the facade, Ienzo's home life was only getting worse. His parents disappointment in him only increased the older he got, as did the amount of beatings. After all, he was a big boy now so he could take it. If he didn't like it, he should stop disappointing them. Couldn't he see it was all his fault his parents had to do this?

Everything came to a head during an unbelievably hot summer. Ienzo was to start kindergarten the following autumn, however, much to his parents chagrin... He still hadn't spoken. If he were to attend a year of kindergarten and still not speak... what would the neighbors think?

His father, like usual, blamed his mother as much as he blamed Ienzo. What wasn't like usual however, was how on that hot summer day the two came to blows. Up until that day, their physical anger had always been reserved for Ienzo. With each blow, another crack appeared in the dam that had been their marriage. With each blow, crueler and crueler words were exchanged. They kept exchanging blow after blow after harsh blow, until one blow passed right on through.

Reflected in the eyes of Ienzo (who had been silently watching from a distance, too scared to intervene for fear their anger would be redirected to him) was a long, shadowy appendage that had ripped straight through his father's chest. Clasped in what resembled a child's pencil drawing of a hand, was his still beating heart.

All at once, the scene before Ienzo's eyes became one beyond his comprehension. His parents bodies moved in ways that were surely impossible for humans as their image became covered in darkness. Ienzo could only watch in horror as his parents shifted from metaphorical monsters, to literal ones.

How he survived that day, he would never know.

#a fast learner #headcanon #here is Ienzo's tragic backstory I kept alluding to #I woke up today and was like #OK. TODAY IS THE DAY I WRITE HIS BACKSTORY #I know it's not too detailed and I'm sorry about that sdfjs #I just... don't particularly enjoy writing about child abuse #I'm more into the comfort part of hurt and comfort if you feel me #somebody adopt Ienzo please #child abuse tw

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fractissomnium · 7 years

Text

His Early Chapters

(*A very long drabble about Ienzo’s early years. Basically everything prior to the bitty you see in BBS. Also please note that it is 100% compromised of headcanons; there is literally nothing in the games that support anything that I have written except for the dead parents.

Also spoiler alert: his parents die. The drabble itself is under the cut because like I said, it’s stupid long.*)

It was the one thing Vivienne had wanted for her entire life: more than a picturesque wedding, more than her perfect career, more than riches or a house big enough to shelter an entire army. She wanted a child, a baby boy that she could love, raise and protect with everything in her. It was a relief when she met Florian and, after telling him she wanted children, he smiled and promised they would have as many kids as she wanted.

She cried the first time she held Ienzo, running her fingers over the soft plane of his face, the slate-colored peach fuzz covering his head, tracing each of his ten little fingers and ten little toes. She whispered Aiko, over and over as she held him. A sweet nickname, something she would call him as long as he would let her. He was perfection, everything she had hoped he would be. Florian, letting a few tears of his own slip out, cradled his wife and child in his arms as he sat beside her in the hospital bed. The pregnancy had been easy, the delivery slightly grueling, and Ienzo soon proved to be an easy baby. He was easy to settle; Vivienne had spent her life collecting beautiful, intricately carved wooden music boxes. When Ienzo fussed, she or Florian would wind one up, place it beside his crib and sit beside his bed until he fell asleep. Vivienne, much to Florian’s distress, would often take it a few steps farther, happily lifting the baby up and cradling him against her chest, letting her long, dark locks flutter in his face. Small fists would grab the hair, gently holding onto it, and the combination of the music, the hair and the softness of his mother beneath him would lull Ienzo back into sleep within minutes.

He was a precocious child, often too curious for his own good. His teachers adored him, and every person that his parents brought him around felt the need to comment on what a well-behaved child he was. While his mother introduced him to music and the passion it could bring, it was his father that started the tradition of reading to Ienzo, and it was his father who bought the first book that Ienzo read in its entirety on his own, Tom’s Midnight Garden. He was never particularly active, always preferring to sit on the sidelines and watch when other kids were playing sports.

Most of what the family did was local enough that they could walk, Ienzo’s tiny arms stretched above his head to hold onto both Florian and Vivienne’s hands at the same time. He found it fun, walking between his two favorite people, smiling through the tuft of hair that neither parent could quite keep out of his face. It fell over his right eye in soft bangs, no matter how often his mother tried to push it away. Ienzo liked it; it was like a curtain he could hide behind when too many people were around for his comfort. Every so often, they would go on a trip that took them somewhere more distant, something that required driving as opposed to walking. Ienzo wasn’t averse to his booster seat, and he loved to sit back and watch the scenery go by, smiling and pointing out each interesting thing he saw to his mother. He tried to show his father at times, but Florian was often the one driving, leaving him unavailable to look at every tree, bird or pretty car that Ienzo wanted him to see.

The one thing Ienzo hated was the rain. He liked going outside, and he liked playing. Rain meant he had to stay inside, and no amount of books or music boxes, or even cuddle time with his mother or father, could make up for the fact that he wasn’t allowed outside. If it was his choice, that was one thing. But when it was against his wishes, the containment made Ienzo act up.

It was this very reason that Vivienne suggested to Florian that they take Ienzo to a museum. They’d been to a number of them in his six years, but a new one had opened recently, and Vivienne was dying to take her son. It’s a surprise, she’d whispered after Ienzo asked where they were going. Vivienne smiled, kissed his forehead and finished buckling him in before settling into the front seat with her husband. Ienzo watched the raindrops race one another down the window beside him, tracing the winner’s path with one small finger. He was entranced, caught up in the excitement of which drop would win the race, so distracted that he didn’t see it happen.

One minute, all Ienzo had to care about was raindrops. The next, there was a bright flash of light to his left, and then chaos. His mother screaming in front of him. Glass shattering and shards cutting open the side of his face. Metal twisting and creaking as the car rolled over. His father’s panicked voice, followed closely by the sound of coughing, raspy breathing and then silence from the driver’s seat. His booster seat had become loose in the accident, but it had saved him from any serious injury. Ienzo ached, and he could feel blood on one side of his body, dripping from a shallow head wound. The car lay on its side, and through the crack between the passenger seat and window, Ienzo could his mother. Clawing at the seatbelt that still held him in place, Ienzo freed himself and crawled across the glass shards to reach the front seat. He’d never been up there before; his parents always said he was too small. Vivienne smiled when she saw her son, struggling to hold her arms out for him. Without hesitation, Ienzo dove into her embrace, tears streaming down his cheeks. He was small, and he didn’t understand everything just yet, but he knew enough about the world to know that sometimes people died, and sometimes it wasn’t expected.

“Mama?” Ienzo carefully tried to peel the glass out of her hair, naively thinking that it would help her feel better. “Mama, we have to go.” His voice broke, and his fingers instinctively continued brushing through her hair.

Vivienne shook her head and opened her mouth to speak, but between the screaming from outside the car, the heavy sound of rain hitting his face through the broken glass and the sound of his own tears, Ienzo couldn’t hear what she was saying. He leaned in closer, and one of Vivienne’s hands laced into his hair. Ienzo’s ear moved closer to her lips, and he could vaguely hear the familiar tune of his favorite music box. In small increments, the notes calmed him, the way they so often did when he was an infant that needed soothing. But Vivienne’s voice grew quieter, the notes coming farther in between, and Ienzo looked up again just in time to see it. I love you, Ienzo. She mouthed them, too far gone to hope to speak them, and not wanting to struggle to try. The hand stroking Ienzo’s hair fell away, and Vivienne’s eyes closed.

The glass from the front windshield had shattered upon impact, and when the car began rolling, it had broken entirely, leaving a gaping hole in front of him. It was a panicked reaction, one Ienzo had done often growing up. When things were too much, when the crowds were too big, when the people around were too loud, he ran. He never made it far because his parents were much faster than he was, and they would inevitably scoop him up-- within a few steps after they knew what to expect. But this time, when Ienzo ran, there was no one paying enough attention to stop him. The sirens were still distant, and most of the onlookers were still in their cars. There were woods nearby, and Ienzo dashed into them, ignoring the blood that was dripping into his eye, the rain that made each step slippery, the tears that clouded his vision, even the aches of his entire right side from injuries he’d likely sustained in the crash.

He ran. He ran, and he ran, and he only stopped when a house finally came into view. Exhausted, cold and in pain all over, Ienzo walked up the steps of the two-floor house, reaching on his toes for the doorbell and slumping to the ground when he heard the noise from within. A woman answered the door, and her long, dark hair was so like his mother’s that, for a moment, Ienzo couldn’t react to the stranger asking him if he needed help. His only response was to reach up his arms, and the woman called a man’s name behind her before lifting the child. Vaguely, he could hear the two unfamiliar voices above him talking, but the moment he felt something soft beneath him, Ienzo was out cold.

When he woke up, he was confused. The bed he was in wasn’t his. There was no music box lulling him into sleep. And when he began to cry, the woman that walked in wasn’t his mother. But she was soft, and she had dark hair, and she smiled at him, so when she sat on the bed, he crawled into her lap. She asked him questions. Are you hurt? Where are your parents? Where do you live? But no matter how hard he tried, the words wouldn’t come out. It was almost as if they were stuck in his throat, and it frustrated him even more, causing his tears to come harder. Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay. You’re safe here. This can be your home now.

And at first, it almost felt like home. The woman’s name was Sakura, and her husband’s was Katashi. Katashi spent a lot of time out of the house; Ienzo assumed he was working. Sakura cared for Ienzo. She nursed the wounds the crash had given him, and she never once pushed him to talk to her, which was lucky because Ienzo wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to speak again. A part of him recognized that he should find a way to go back home. He had no other family, but surely someone must have been missing him. It wasn’t as if his parents were without friends and acquaintances, and those people, he was sure, would have noticed that he vanished and hadn’t turned up. But for now, he was growing accustomed to where he was.

When Katashi lost his job, Ienzo watched from the hallway outside the guest room he was sleeping in as Sakura held him. They cried, both of them, and in low voices, murmured about what their next step would be. Katashi gestured toward Ienzo at one point, unaware that the child was even there, and he backed into the room, curling up and falling asleep. The next day, he tried to force himself to talk. He would need to if he wanted to tell them his name, where he was from. The couple, as nice as they’d been to him, couldn’t be forced to continue caring for a child that wasn’t theirs, especially when neither of them was working. But Sakura came home that night and told her husband that she’d found work in the meantime, until he was back on his feet.

It started with one drink, maybe two, but within a week, Katashi was drinking himself into oblivion every night. He started fighting with Sakura, and after a fit of screaming, Ienzo sat up when his bedroom door opened. Sakura, eyes red-rimmed and puffy, stood by his doorway, and Ienzo rubbed his eyes and tripped over to her. His intention was to hug her, the way he’d done a number of times in the two weeks he’d been there. Before he could even reach his arms out, she raised her and hit him across the face. Once, only once, and the actions was so shocking that Ienzo could do little more than bring his hand to his cheek and touch the warm, red spot. “This is your fault,” she snarled, turning and leaving the room, slamming the door behind her.

The violence continued, gradually getting worse over the following few weeks. After the first smack across the face, Sakura began taking all of her frustration out on Ienzo, and eventually, Katashi began doing the same. When she had a bad day at work, when his interviews didn’t pan out, when either of them had too much to drink. Ienzo often barely had time to heal up from one beating before the next one came along. Getting out of bed became more and more difficult each morning. He was certain he had broken bones, bruises flowered over almost every visible spot on his arms and legs, his face had cuts and swelling. Ienzo was a mess, and he struggled with every motion. As he lay down one night, exhausted and sore, the door to his bedroom opened. Katashi stumbled in, and even from the distance, Ienzo could smell the alcohol coming from his breath. Sakura hovered behind him, and just as he turned over to stumble off the bed, a hand wrapped around his throat. Ienzo reached up, clawing at the strong fingers; it was already getting harder to breathe. He kicked out, lashing out frantically, which only served to infuriate Katashi more. The man grabbed Ienzo by the arm, screaming in his face and dragging the child out of the room. Ienzo lost track of what was happening, but he had the vague impression of being swung into a wall repeatedly. But then, like magic, he was floating through the air. Flying. He could feel his hair moving with the wind.

He crashed hard on the bottom of the stairs, and he curled up in a futile effort to protect himself. His right ear was ringing, his body ached more than it had before, and he could distantly hear footsteps stumbling down the stairs that he’d just been thrown down. Ienzo dragged himself to his feet, holding onto the knob of the front door. It turned in his hand, and instinct took over. Throwing open the door, Ienzo tripped, crawled, moved as fast as he could away from the house. Katashi yelled drunkenly from the steps, but Ienzo had stopped listening, panic forcing him farther into the darkness surrounding the house.

Everything ached, exhaustion weighed each step down, and for one terrifying moment, he almost wished he’d stayed at the house long enough to lay on something soft. To his left, Ienzo bumped into a massive wall, far higher than he could see. It wasn’t comfortable, but it would suit the purpose he needed. He sat, and then lay down, legs curled up to his chest, and head resting on the hard ground. Finally, Ienzo let the tears fall, alone and undisturbed. He wasn’t sure exactly when it happened, but at some point, he drifted off, only to be woken up when something hit his bare foot. A tall man stood above him, and he forgot for a moment that he had left the house. A quiet whimper slipped past his lips, and Ienzo sat up, attempting to back up, but wincing in pain immediately. The man lowered, and his gentle blue eyes held a look of concern that astonished the small child. His rust-colored hair was slicked back in short, messy spikes, and his blue uniform had a red hair emblazoned on the chest. Ienzo continued to whimper, reaching back one arm to slide backwards. The weight made him cry out; his broken arm couldn’t handle him leaning on it. The man spoke, and his voice was gentle and calm. “I know you’re scared. I won’t hurt you. My name is Aeleus. If you come with me, I’ll find someone to take care of you. Can you do that?”

He hesitated. The last person he’d trusted to take care of him had hurt him, and badly. But this man seemed gentle, kind, and Ienzo was far too exhausted to fight anymore. He shook his head, reaching up with his uninjured arm. Walking was out of the question, and he wished he could say it out loud, but Aeleus seemed to understand. Setting aside his weapon, he carefully lifted Ienzo, and the child curled against his chest as much as he could. It was dark outside, and thankfully, it wasn’t very bright when the went indoors. It must have been much later that Ienzo originally thought. His attempts to follow the direction Aeleus was carrying him-- in case he needed to escape later-- were thwarted; he kept fading in and out of consciousness. It seemed like forever before he felt something soft beneath him, and a blanket was laid over his chest. Immediately, Ienzo curled up on his side and fell asleep, only to be awoken by a soft touch to his hair.

In the soft haze of sleep, Ienzo allowed himself to believe his mother was touching his hair, and that any moment, the familiar sound of a music box would permeate the air. He squeezed his eyes closed, desperate to stay in his fantasy for just another few minutes. But, in tiny increments, Ienzo became all too aware that he was not home. The hand touching the back of his head seemed more probing than comforting. The blanket and sheets, while soft, didn’t feel like his. There were smells in the air that he didn’t recognize, and sounds that grated on his ears. Bleary and still tired, Ienzo opened his eyes and attempted to sit up, but was stopped by a pair of firm hands.

“No, no, child. Don’t sit up just yet. You’re injuries are… extensive. You need to be still. Can you do that?” He didn’t recognize the voice, and that one simple fact caused a panic. Ienzo sat up the rest of the way, backing up on the bed as far as he could manage. The man was blond, his shoulder-length hair slicked back. He wore a white lab coat, and a red scarf rested around his shoulders. “Please, I need you to be still. I don’t want you to hurt yourself farther.”

Aeleus. He wanted Aeleus. He knew who Aeleus was, if nothing else. The other man was a stranger, but Aeleus was familiar enough. Ienzo shook his head, staring at the blond man with wide, terror-filled eyes. For a moment, they simply stared at one another, but finally the man ducked his head, exiting the room and returning seconds later with Aeleus. Ienzo slumped over in relief, reaching for the man as he had the night before. Surprised, but encouraged by a nod from the blond man, he reached out and picked Ienzo up. Two small arms reached up, wrapping around Aeleus’s neck, regardless of the pain it caused. Ienzo’s head rested against one of the broad shoulders, and he yawned, drifting off again.

For a week, he was kept in the room. The blond man, Ansem, came by often, attempting to draw Ienzo into conversation, and failing each time. So instead, he talked, and Ienzo came to know where he was. A castle in a place called Radiant Gardens. Ansem ruled it, and the man who had found Ienzo outside the castle wall was one of a number of guards that kept the castle and its inhabitants safe. Once his broken bones began to heal, Ansem began bringing Ienzo to walk through the castle and its grounds with him; along the way, he would introduce Ienzo to different people, carrying a conversation that Ienzo couldn’t participate in. He kept on guard, always nervous, always scared, and always prepared to run.

It was Aeleus who finally managed to break his silence. The guard needed to take a trip into town, and, at Ansem’s insistence, brought Ienzo along with him. He’d lifted the child easily onto his shoulders, holding onto each small foot to keep him from falling, and for the first time since the car accident, Ienzo relaxed and let himself smile. It wasn’t until they were on the way back that Ienzo squirmed in place, a signal to Aeleus to please put him back on the ground, and he did, but not before Ienzo had darted off upon seeing an ice cream stand. The sweet treats always drew him in, and the stand brought a smile to his face. He turned, intent on silently asking for one, but the moment he did, Ienzo’s eyes landed on Sakura. She didn’t see him, not at first, but the sight of her struck him with such horror, that he began shaking; tears filled his eyes, and breath seemed to be a struggle. In a flash, Aeleus was at his side, picking the child up and asking him what was wrong, and it was all Ienzo could do to point a shaky finger toward Sakura.

Without asking another question, Aeleus turned, tucking Ienzo’s head against his shoulder and walking back up to the castle. He deposited Ienzo into Ansem’s care, and then departed to drop off whatever it was he’d purchased in town. It wasn’t until later in the day that Ienzo saw the guard again. Curled up in his bed, a book in his small hands, the child sat up slowly when Aeleus entered the room. The guard sat on the ground, crooking a finger toward Ienzo, who immediately clambered up and sat beside the mountain of a man. “I usually prefer to hear a story from someone directly. I’m not sure what happened to you before you were here, but I know what you looked like when I found you outside, and I know you couldn’t have gotten far in that state. I know you almost had a meltdown when you saw that woman in the marketplace earlier. What I don’t know is how much of that she did to you, and how much of that he did to you.” Blinking in surprise, Ienzo glanced up at Aeleus, mouth agape. “I paid them a visit. I’m not one to make promises I can’t keep, but I can promise you they’ll never hurt you again. No one will; not if I have anything to say about it. You’re safe here. We can’t make you stay, but we all want you too. Will you do that?”

For a moment, he wanted to say no. This wasn’t his home; this would never be his home. His home was with his mom and his dad. But that thought pulled Ienzo up short; his mom and dad were gone. Instead of respond, Ienzo crawled into Aeleus’s lap. He settled against the man’s chest for a moment, mind racing, before sitting back up. Putting a hand on his own chest, Ienzo looked up. His voice, when it came out, was a whisper, hoarse from nearly two months of no use. “Ienzo.”

Aeleus smiled, the first time he’d done so since Ienzo had met the man. “It’s nice to meet you, Ienzo. Should I tell Ansem to find you a more suitable room?” Ienzo nodded, widening Aeleus’s smile. “Very well. I’ll do that now. You look tired; you should sleep.”

With the door closed behind the castle guard, Ienzo climbed back into bed. It would be an uphill battle, and he was sure he would be likely to stumble along the way. But he was safe, he was cared for, and no matter what happened, Ienzo had a friend. His eyes drifted shut, and for the first time in months, Ienzo slept without nightmares.

#ℓε cσηηαιs c’εsт αιмεя { headcanon }#мση нιsтσιяε εsт εηcσяε ιηαcнεvéε { drabbles }

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aliceslantern · 4 years

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Heartlines, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 21--Radiant Garden

Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.

Chapter summary: Demyx, Aeleus, and Ansem arrive in Radiant Garden.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Demyx expected Radiant Garden to be… nicer.

Then again, it apparently once was, if anything Ansem was saying was true. The whole city kind of stunk , a smell that made Amalia cry. Demyx knew by then it was darkness.

The three of them didn’t talk much on the ferry ride over, as though saying too much might give them away. But the workers just ushered them on boredly and treated them as normal passengers, not that there were many this early morning.

“So where are we going?” Demyx asked.

“Not to worry, I’ve got it all straightened out,” Ansem said.

So bizarre still, to think that the king was his father-in-law. He kept looking at Amalia, as though she might disappear. Demyx noticed for the millionth time just how much she looked like Ienzo--the shape of her eyebrows and eyes, her pale skin, her hair. Sometimes he thought she smelled like him.

Ienzo was alive.

Along the waves and waves of longing for him was something bitter and sharp. How could you have left me? Have left us? Demyx tried to squelch those thoughts down--it wasn’t as though Ienzo wanted this to happen--but it was tough doing.

They disembarked from the ferry and walked through the streets. They were eerily empty--the few people they did see narrowed their eyes and walked too quickly. Ansem sighed heavily. “This was once such a beautiful place.”

Demyx could see that too. The flower gardens were everywhere, but a lot of the flowers were limp, brown, dying. The few vibrant flowers they saw turned out to be plastic as they approached. Amalia lay against his chest limply, as though exhausted. While they saw old signs for streetcars, Demyx didn’t see any on the streets.

So they walked. Amalia only weighed a little over seven kilos, but even with the sling Demyx found himself getting achy. After a while, Ansem offered to take the baby from him. “It’s the darkness, making you weak,” the king said out of the corners of his mouth.

Many of the houses were boarded up and shuttered, and in some places there was evidence of destruction--soot from fires, broken glass, rubble. What seemed like hours later, they arrived at an apartment building at the farthest edge of the city. Demyx’s feet were positively screaming. Ansem handed the baby back and took a small skeleton key from his pocket. “This used to be the resistance’s headquarters,” he said, equally as quietly. “Some years ago they got smoked out.”

“How is it safe, then?” Demyx asked.

“Because Xehanort thinks we’re not stupid enough to return to the places we’ve left.”

They walked up to the fourth floor landing. The building was abandoned; Demyx could feel it. It was old, dusty. Amalia sneezed. At least the power still seemed to be on, flickering unsteadily in bare bulbs. They reached a door at the end of the hall and Ansem unlocked that, too.

This must’ve once been a nice apartment, but dust and water damage bloated the silk wallpaper, and dirt permeated every crevice. Demyx could see spots where the resistance must have… resisted the “smoking out”; gouges in floors, cracks in the wall, a chair with one of its legs broken. Most of the furniture left was covered in sheets. Aeleus tried to open one of the windows, but it was stuck and didn’t get more than a few inches. He sighed. “I don’t suppose you know any wind magic,” he said to Demyx.

He shook his head. “Water, mostly. Sorry.”

Aeleus thought. “Actually, that might just work.”

Demyx handed Aeleus the baby. It still felt weird, to use his own power after so long, but he was surprised at how easily it came. He felt like he was doing something wrong, sweeping water off of the floors, the surfaces he could see; the grime was coming up more easily than he thought. He guided the water across the furniture, too, washing it clean, then drying everything back out and dumping the waste out the window. “Would’ve made apartment life in college a lot easier,” he muttered. The place was a different color.

“Can you ward?” Ansem asked.

Demyx felt his face heat. “...No.”

He passed the baby back to him. “No matter.” He started casting the then-familiar barriers at the door.

“I didn’t think you were a magic user.”

“My power is considerably less than Ienzo’s--much like your daughter got his, my sister got our father’s.”

“...Magic is so weird,” Demyx said.

He laughed. “Indeed it is, my dear boy.”

“I’m going to see if I can find some food,” Aeleus said. “Don’t go anywhere if you can avoid it.”

Demyx and Ansem continued to get the apartment ready for living. Demyx missed with a sudden ache his old apartment with Riku, the basement in the townhouse. Reliable clean hot showers. Restaurants, bars. Clubs. Friends.

Ansem rested a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I… know I should be glad we’re together, and alive. But…”

“You miss your old life. Of course you do.” He smiled kindly. “I think we all do every now and again.”

“Especially you--I mean, you must’ve had it pretty freaking sweet.”

“Things are just things,” Ansem said wistfully. “I miss mostly… my family.”

“Ienzo,” Demyx said, feeling the now-familiar accompanying stab of pain.

“My son… Even, that dear man… my apprentices. And those members of staff who became family, too.”

Demyx considered the way Ansem said Even’s name. “Do you… love him?”

Ansem looked confused. “My son? Of course.”

“No, Even.”

Ansem looked out the window.

“You don’t have to tell me. It’s okay.”

After a moment Ansem said, “We never… said as such. I’d hoped… things would evolve eventually, and then…”

“...Shit hit the fan.” Amalia cooed as though in response. “Right.”

“...I’m hoping that somehow all this nonsense will be behind us soon. That your daughter can grow up knowing Xehanort as only part of history.”

She made small smacking sounds. Very deliberately, she smiled. “She likes you,” Demyx said. “Well. She likes mostly everyone, but…”

Ansem chuckled. He leaned forward to take Amalia’s tiny fist into his hand. “You’re a seeker, right?”

“...Yeah.”

“From where?”

“Destiny Islands.”

“So you’re--”

“...Yeah.” He swallowed. “She’s got the, uh, scales. You’ll probably see them if you ever change her.”

Ansem sat on one of the covered chairs. “You’ll have to forgive me,” he said in a low voice, knotting his hands.

Demyx knew how he would answer, but he said, “for what?”

“For choosing this life for you. I assure you I did not know your people intended a living person to be behind Ienzo’s protection. I was… woefully ignorant of the cultural implications.”

Demyx considered this. “My parents sold me so they could stay together,” he said instead. “What would the alternative have been? I’d have still always been seeking Ienzo, whether or not I knew it. And I’d never have found him if I stayed where I was.”

“Is that what you sought? A partner, a family?”

“Must be,” he murmured. “I… I don’t know. I feel divorced in a lot of ways from my past self. I didn’t even remember a lot of it until recently. Swiss cheese memory.”

“Darkness can cause amnesia that only time and coincidence can heal.”

“Apparently.”

There was a gentle knock at the door; they all tensed, even Amalia, and Demyx’s heart broke a little more ( she shouldn’t feel afraid like this ). Ansem drew a dagger from his boot and approached it slowly. Then he looked through the peephole and sighed heavily, and Demyx knew that kind of sigh. Longing.

Even was sopping wet as he came through the door. “Don’t ask,” he said, before he caught sight of Ansem. “Oh--”

“Hello, Even,” he said.

Even’s face had gone oddly blank. “Hello... I…” A faint flush spread through his face, and he turned instead to Demyx. “How’s the baby?”

“She’s fine. Want me to dry you out?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Demyx did so. “Nice day for a swim, huh?”

“Boy, I said don’t ask. ” He took off the unflattering parka he wore. He seemed to struggle to gather himself. Then, to Ansem, “I thought we’d agreed to keep you out of this.”

Demyx wondered if now might be the right moment to try and get the baby down for a nap. He stood carefully and eased his way towards one of the bedrooms. “The time for cowardice is over, I think. Lest Ienzo be in more trouble than he’s already let on. At some point my safety becomes complicity. Don’t you agree?”

Demyx eased the door shut. They continued this discussion in low voices. Amalia squalled a little, reaching towards Even. “I know, Li-li. You missed him. But he has to talk to grandpa Ansem.” He washed out the blanket on the bed quickly and tucked it into a larger drawer of the dresser. Before all this, he’d thought the babies-in-a-drawer thing was only pop culture. They used to have a pack-and-play she’d used as a bed, but they’d had to abandon it one night. That was before Isa taught him about pocket dimensions. Either way, she didn’t seem to mind, and he sang her a lullaby until she fell asleep.

He must’ve slept too, draped in the musty armchair; he was only woken by the gentle tapping of nails on the wooden floors. Demyx jerked awake, reaching automatically for the baby, before he saw it was just Isa; moonlight bled into the room. “Your time of the month already, huh?” he asked.

Isa just glared at him with the wolf’s eyes and trotted over to the baby, sniffing her once; she cooed.

“Must’ve been easier to swim this way though, I bet.”

He just bobbed his head once.

“Everyone else still out there?”

Another nod.

“Keep an eye on her for me? I bet she’s starving.”

On shaky legs, Demyx walked back over to the door, which Isa had left open. Ansem, Aeleus, and Even were gathered at the small round kitchen table in the dark, their eyes on Even’s phone, something like horror in their expressions.

He didn’t like the sinking feeling he got. For the first time in a while his own magic pinged unpleasantly. “What?” Demyx asked.

“Oh, Demyx. Let me get you some coffee,” Ansem said. He crossed back over to the pot. “I’m afraid there’s only milk--”

“What. Happened.”

Even just sighed, and it was a sigh of someone about to have a hard conversation. “Why don’t you sit down?” He took off his glasses, but this only made him look more exhausted.

Another unpleasant ping. “Ienzo,” he said, with something like desperation.

“...is still alive. Physically, anyway.” Even guided Demyx over to a chair and pressed the coffee into his hand. He touched his shoulder, once; Even only initiated physical contact if something bad happened. “Take a breath. It may not be as it seems.”

Aeleus just shook his head.

But Demyx had always been smarter, or maybe more intuitive, than the once-scientist thought. “He’s been brainwashed.”

“The picture I have is not completely clear--” He began, then took a moment to compose himself. “The city news has been unreliable, as it’s now owned by the state.”

“Let the other shoe drop before you give the boy a heart attack,” Ansem said. He was still facing the counter.

Even’s lips pursed even more. Without ceremony, he presented Demyx the phone, which was open to a news article.

Missing princess actually prince, voices support for new regime.

He thought he might faint. “Oh, shit .”

#heartlines #demyx #ienzo #zemyx #ansem the wise #even (kingdom hearts)#aeleus #child oc - amalia

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aliceslantern · 3 years

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Heartlines, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 26--Break

Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.

Chapter summary: Ienzo and Demyx try to come to terms with their broken soulbond. Ienzo helps Ansem rebuild their shattered kingdom.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Even just held his palm over Demyx’s chest for a long time. “I’d thought--something felt off--but back when you were injured, I was…” He swallowed. “Perhaps a bit compromised--”

“Is it possible?” Ienzo asked. He was feeling weak, and his legs were aching. His own chest felt heavy. He wondered if this was what heartbreak felt like.

“Is it possible ? Yes. Is it easy? No. Doubtless he used darkness to sever that bond. No wonder your attack was so powerful, Ienzo, and sent you right into shock.”

“So it’s… true?” Demyx sounded like he’d been punched in the groin. “We’re really…”

He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“But what about pairbonding?” Ienzo asked quickly. “If we are on some level intrinsically compatible, couldn’t we reestablish that bond in some small way? Choose it?”

“I suppose you… could,” Even said.

“Can it be fixed?” Demyx asked.

“It could only be fixed by whoever bound you… and the seeker colony in Destiny Islands is more or less eradicated.”

“What of my magic?” Ienzo asked. Yet again, he felt near tears. He didn’t think he’d ever cried so much. “If I am supposedly so powerful--”

Even’s eyes were very tired. “I suppose with your power--at its peak--it’s theoretically possible. But it’s not at its peak, Ienzo. Can you even feel it, after what happened?”

“...Scarcely.”

“What do we…” Demyx was gasping. “What do we do?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know.” It seemed to pain him to admit. “Perhaps you could work on this pairbond? Perhaps? There’s no spell or procedure I know that can fix this.”

Demyx just stared at Ienzo a long time. Wordlessly, he got up and left the room. Ienzo went to follow, but Even just took his hand.

“Let him,” he said. “He needs to grieve.”

“I feel such… pain,” Ienzo said. “Such…”

“Lie here.” He did so and felt Even probe him. “...Sadist,” he muttered.

“What?”

“He broke the bond on one end only.”

“Solely to cause me pain?”

“Quite.”

“But if I still have it…” His own breaths were coming hard and fast. “Can I… could it…”

“Reform? Ienzo, I have no idea. This is so far out of my depths I’m speculating.” He squeezed Ienzo’s shoulder. “You need time.”

“I feel like I’m bleeding.”

“I know, child.” He drew him into an embrace. “I know.”

To his surprise, Demyx was actually in with Amalia when he left Even’s lab. He was singing to her softly in that old language again, and she was clapping her hands and squealing with delight. If Ienzo had not been in so much pain, he would’ve garnered some pleasure from the grin she gave him when she saw him. She reached up to him.

“She wants you,” Demyx said numbly. Ienzo scooped her into his arms. He was still physically weak; it took work to pretend that picking her up didn’t tire him.

“Dad is giving you a concert, huh?” he asked. She just reached up to put her hands on his face.

“Noses are her new favorite thing,” he said, turning away to pick up toys off of the floor.

“I know, Demyx. I was here when that started.”

He jerked a little. “Right… I forgot. Still kinda stuck in single dad mode.”

“I suppose you must be.” Amalia babbled happily. “Do you want to see the gardens? Go outside?” She laughed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me?” His eyes were red. “Oh, you know.” His expression said as if I would answer in front of the baby.

“Perhaps you would want to… have some dinner later?”

He hesitated. “Okay. Just tell them to give her plastic this time, or maybe not anything glass they care about.”

He tried not to let his pain show. “...Alright.”

---

Ienzo thought he might be losing his mind. He knew giving into this heartbreak was exactly what Xehanort would’ve wanted, but it wasn’t like he could help it. Every time he saw Demyx he thought he might scream. Keeping something resembling peace between them for their daughter’s sake made it all the harder. Ienzo knew that as a seeker this was hitting doubly hard for him, but at the same time, was there really so little between them without the soulbond to justify this?

Ienzo began sleeping on the chaise in the drawing room near his daughter’s crib. He was not asked to do it, but sharing such a cold bed only made it harder. It wasn’t as though he slept well lately anyway. Demyx didn’t comment on it. Ienzo noticed he had stopped singing.

How could he begin to fix this?

Despite it all, there was still massive national upheaval. So Ienzo devoted himself to the care of Amalia and to his work.

The west coast was still giving them the most trouble. Pockets of Xehanort’s supporters--the ones who had helped the spread of his regime in the first place--held their towns hostage. The negotiations were complicated, and messy, and while Ienzo wanted nothing more for them to be judged for their heinous crimes, Ansem advocated leniency of all things. “If we jail them, they’ll just make it worse for their citizens,” he said. “The people’s safety is more important.”

“But if we let them off now there will never be a case in the future.” The courts, too, were still in shambles.

“You must learn compromise, Ienzo,” Ansem said gently.

Ienzo just stared at the sea of papers on the table where they were working. “After all these years… all the studies Even forced on me… I feel like I truly know nothing about becoming king.”

Ansem reached over and rubbed his shoulder. “You could have all the preparation in the world and you’d still feel naked,” he told him. “I did.”

“You did? But you’re so… well, wise.”

He chuckled. “Child, I was the “spare” in the “heir and a spare.” I did not anticipate ever having to go into politics, more than showing up to silly royal functions--that was all on your mother. So our mother let me go into my science, into my research, then all of a sudden one day I’m receiving a call that suddenly… I have been… ascended. ” He said the word bitterly. “I felt just as you do now. Helpless. Stupid. Ignorant.”

“How did you know I feel all those things?”

“It’s on your face.” He smiled. “I will help you, Ienzo. I’m not going to throw you to the wolves. We will rebuild together, which may take years. Once things have settled… we can revisit the matter as to whether or not you’re ready to rule independently.”

His eyes were hot from looking at so much paper. “Is it bad to say I did not think I’d ever get here? I always thought… I’d be running forever… I never envisioned a future for myself, much less my people. I never thought I'd actually live to rule.”

“A trauma response, doubtless.”

“You think I’m traumatized?”

“Surely you didn’t think such a life was mentally good for you? Living in the moment was the only way to cope.”

“I still don’t feel safe.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

There was a long pause. Ansem got up and turned on the electric kettle. “It is nice, to be together again,” Ienzo admitted. “Were I alone… I don’t think I could cope.”

Ansem handed him a cup of tea. “Connection is imperative.”

“...Yes.” He tried not to think of Demyx. He felt his nails digging into his palms. “Father, I…”

“It’s alright, Ienzo. You must grieve.” A substantial pause. “But with pain comes vulnerability, which might be useful. I was wondering…”

“What?”

“...If it might be time to reintroduce you to the people. The real you, not the mask you put on for Xehanort. You… and your daughter.”

Ienzo swallowed. “I looked like a traitor.”

“You were a captive doing your best to subvert an entire regime , which you did. Besides. I think the presence of your child… will make you look paternal. Trustworthy.”

“There’s so much we haven’t spoken about,” he murmured. “My time as a captive… my child… all this… this guilt I feel… the fact that I’ve taken human lives… I…”

“It’s alright to be upset.”

“My emotions are so close to my skin.”

“I’d be shocked if they weren’t.”

Ienzo shuddered. “And it feels strange to cry in front of you.”

He hugged him. “It’s alright, Ienzo. Best to do so rather than hold it all in.”

So he did. He felt like a child, but all the pain inside of him needed out somehow. Who else was he comfortable in front of? Not Demyx, surely, and Even was struggling with his own issues.

He wasn’t sure he felt better afterwards. He just felt exhausted. Ansem offered him a tissue. “I’m told Remy was able to recreate the sea salt ice cream you loved as a boy. Perhaps you might like to have some.”

“I think I need it, yes.”

---

Ienzo dangled Ansem’s proposal in front of Demyx, tentatively. “It was to happen eventually anyway, given her status,” he said. He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact.

“...She’s only eight months old,” he said.

“It’s not like she’d have any duties. That is to say--”

“It’s to clear your name.”

“...As I am to be king, you have to admit it’s important.”

“...I dunno. Seems like you made your bed on that one.”

He’d had about enough. “What was I do to, then?” he snapped. “Fight and fight and fight and what, get killed? All that would’ve meant is Xehanort would still be here, still quite literally killing the earth, and Amalia would’ve grown up without me. I am doing my best, Demyx. I am. She is my child too. And sometimes I am allowed to make decisions on her behalf.”

Amalia seemed confused at the razors in his voice. She gasped once and started to cry. “You’re upsetting her,” Demyx said. “She’s not used to people--” His face flushed. Then, “What are we going to do, Ienzo?”

“What do you mean?”

“Us. With her.”

For a moment, Ienzo thought he might faint. “Do you really think there’s nothing salvageable?” he asked in a strangled voice. “Do you really think it’s not worth trying --”

“I don’t know. ” He was shaking. “All I know is that a huge part of me is fucking dead. And I just… wonder…” He took a shuddering breath. “I lost everything. My family, my memories, my friends, and now you?”

“...I know. I know that. Did you forget I did too?”

Silence. Amalia was still crying, more quietly. Ienzo scooped her up and kissed her brow.

“I was in hiding for twelve years before I met you. I know how you feel, Demyx. I do. I can’t pretend to understand how this affects your magic. I just know that… squabbling about all this isn’t going to help anything. I still…” He swallowed. “I still love you. And I understand if you can’t find that love within you. But for our daughter…” Diplomacy. Diplomacy. “Can we please at least be friendly? Come to agreements?”

He was breathing hard. “I was alone for so long.”

“I know.”

“We were supposed to be happy.”

“I know.”

“Is this… ever going to end?”

Ienzo stroked Amalia’s hair. “Consider this,” he said softly. “By giving into this despair, we’re just giving Xehanort more power. By not fighting for one another, we’re letting him win. He wanted to divide us.”

Demyx’s eyes were watering.

“...I’m going to give her a bath. Let me know if you’d like to talk more about this. I certainly would.”

Once he had Amalia in the water, he couldn’t help but shed a few more tears of his own, feeling weak. She reached up with her wet little hands. “Ba,” she said, confused.

“I’m sorry for fighting in front of you, love. That wasn’t right. It won’t happen again.”

“Mm,” she said. He poured a cupful of water over her.

“Was what you told me right? Is this all going to work out?”

She cocked her head, her wet curls swaying slightly.

“...Perhaps you might like me to read you The Great Escape again before bed?”

She squealed. “Ba! Ba!”

“...Book. Very good.”

She picked at her navel. Ienzo found himself oddly envious of simpler times. This is not good for my mental state, he thought. Perhaps I should seek therapy as well. She made an odd face, and then shrugged her tiny shoulders.

“Are you itchy again?” He reached behind her to give her back a good scratch along the scales, in inverse Ls on her shoulder blades. She sighed. “Yes, feels better, doesn’t it?”

She opened her eyes wide. For a moment Ienzo was convinced she was seeing into him, and he felt dizzy. She reached up to touch his face, her small wet palm catching in his hair and pressing against his blind eye.

“Don’t poke people’s eyes, sweetie, it’s not ni…” A very, very odd feeling rushed over him, a vertigo, a prickling in his being. Everything inside of him went limp, and he collapsed.

#heartlines #ienzo #demyx #zemyx #child oc - amalia #even (kingdom hearts)#ansem the wise

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aliceslantern · 4 years

Text

Heartlines, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 24--Best Laid Plans

Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.

Chapter summary: Ienzo and Xemnas go down to the lab.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

The lab was colder than Ienzo remembered.

How many hours had he spent here as a boy, perched on somebody’s knee or getting in the way? And even then, despite the fact that not much could be done with the architecture of the room, there were always books, and cups of tea, and laughing people to make the room feel less sterile.

It was cold--literally and figuratively--and empty, and silent other than the hum of the cooling fans, the ventilation.

“What is it you need?” Xemnas asked him.

Ienzo considered. He’d never done this without wires before, so it might be more complicated than he’d thought. “Watch the doors. Let me know if someone’s coming. I can’t keep up an illusion if I’m in there.”

It shouldn’t be easy to trust Xemnas, and to a degree it wasn’t--his heart was racing, and he hadn’t been able to sleep at all the night before. The only piece of good news in all this, relatively speaking, was that he’d started his period. One less thing to worry about. The thought of it was at the forefront of his mind; not because it was necessarily worse than he remembered, but because the last time he’d done such work, he’d been pregnant.

Xemnas tapped in the password. “It’s DoorToDarkness, for future reference,” he told Ienzo.

He almost groaned. “You’re kidding.”

A smile. “My father is nothing if not literal.” He touched Ienzo’s shoulder. “What do you need from me?”

“Keep watch. If someone comes… wake me.” There was a chair nearby; Ienzo dragged it over. He held his hands over the keys and let the magic flow under his skin.

The sensation was not so overwhelming now that he was used to it, but to be on the other side was odd. He looked around, taking in shelves of books that served as a metaphor for files. Where to begin?

“Ienzo? Is that you?”

The relief he felt was immense. “Tron. Thank goodness.” It was dark here; he squinted.

“Oh, so good to know you’re okay. The…” He gestured to Ienzo’s stomach. “Everything’s… okay?”

“A little girl. Almost seven months old.”

“Oh, that’s good. That’s very good.”

There was something smooth about his tone. Something odd. Off-putting. “Come into the light?”

Tron did so. He still wore a neat suit, but it was different, flecked through with threads of red that looked more like cracks. His expression was pinched, pained, and he moved with difficulty. “Hello, user,” he said. “I’m afraid you are--unauthorized--”

“Tron?”

“Another user is--accessing critical data--” He twitched. He mouthed the words “I’m sorry.”

“Xemnas!” Ienzo screamed. “Wake me up! Wake me up now!” He hadn’t realized how dependent he’d become on Cid’s interfacing with him to get out . He tried to run from Tron, but with a glitch he was thrown against one of these shelves, a pair of hands around his throat.

“I’m--sorry--user--I’m--interfacing--accessing--memory--”

Ienzo struggled, feeling Tron flicking through his mind, but this body could not breathe . Had Xemnas betrayed him? Why was this happening? But why would Xemnas betray him if--

Amalia flickered in his mind’s eye. The image flickered… and held. Tron’s grip loosened around his throat, and he fell. “No. No. Please. No.”

“Terminal--upload--copying--fifty-four percent--”

Ienzo pushed Tron hard, but the program just slumped over. “Do you know what you just did?”

Suddenly, with force, he found himself back in his body, which was in the process of being thrown. Ienzo hit the wall hard. His ears were ringing, and his vision grew blurry. He thought maybe he’d broken a rib or two and gasped for breath. He saw a crumpled brown-and-silver mass near the computer--Xemnas--and a pair of black boots approaching him.

“You’ve been a very naughty boy, haven’t you, Ienzo?” Young Xehanort asked. “Both of you.”

“How did you--”

“A program is not a person. All you have to do is mess with them a little , and they’ll hand you everything you need to know on a plate.” He stepped on Ienzo’s chest, pressing hard. “So naturally, when you began to be friends with my brother, who has always suffered so dramatically from middle child syndrome… well, it was only a matter of time, right?”

“What will you do?” He had to gasp the words.

“Well, considering the wealth of information I just accessed… I have a lot of work to do. Wouldn’t you like to see your family, Ienzo?” He pressed harder, and Ienzo’s vision started to darker. “Wouldn’t you like to hold your little baby again? I can do all that and more. Yes. I think they’ll all be quite comfortable where we can see them.”

“Don’t hurt her--”

Hands snapped to his throat. “You have no right to tell me what to do.”

Darkness.

---

A cold, wet cloth was being pressed against his throat. Not hard, but enough to be disorienting. Ienzo gasped a little.

“Easy. Easy.” Xemnas’s voice. “You’re hurt. Don’t move.”

The air smelled musty, and his body felt wrong , his power dead, heavy. His chest ached tremendously, and so did his throat. He tried to swallow. His vision wouldn’t quite focus.

“Seems to me several ribs are broken, and you may have a concussion. You were also strangled until you lost consciousness.”

“Where--” He tried to ask, but all it sounded like was “wh”.

“We’re being kept in a cell in my brother’s lab. Fitting, is it not? Try not to speak. You may damage your vocal cords further.”

Ienzo tried to sit up, but the pain almost made him cry out. Xemnas eased him back down onto the small cot.

“Do you think you can drink some water? I’ve no idea if it will help, but--” Water running, a cold metal cup being brought to his lips. “At least we have this much.”

The cold water both hurt and felt good to get inside of him. “S...sorr…”

“There’s no way you could’ve anticipated this, Ienzo.”

“Tron… corru…”

“He was quite proud to tell me he’s been watching you for some time. I promise I had no idea.”

“My… my ba…”

“I do not know if my father pursued them. If they’re smart, they might be able to get away. But knowing him… the whole city watch, Heartless, would’ve found them with ease. I like to think my father would not kill an innocent child. Not if she might be of use.”

He felt a thick rush of tears, and the added swelling in his throat made him unable to breathe for a moment. Xemnas dampened the cloth around his throat again. “I’m trying to figure this out. Somehow. There are still people on our side. You must rest.”

“I can’t… My dau…” He coughed, so hard and for so long his vision went gray, between the broken ribs and the swelling in his throat. He tasted blood. Xemnas turned him so that he might spit it into the empty cup.

“...I just hope there’s no internal damage.”

There was the sound of muffled beeping, and a metal door sliding open. Ienzo was so dizzy, and nauseous; definitely concussed, he decided hazily.

“My father desires an audience.”

“Brother--”

“You are no brother of mine.”

“At least give the child a potion. He can barely breathe.”

“As if I would trust a single word that comes out of your filthy mouth. Come. Get up . I’ll drag you if I have to.”

Ienzo swallowed blood. “Hel… help…”

Xemnas eased him gently to his feet. The man flinched when he took Ienzo’s weight--he must’ve been injured somehow too--and when he set Ienzo on his own, his whole abdomen ached from the lack of support.

Young Xehanort grabbed his wrist roughly and towed him out of the cell. Every step, every breath , hurt, and he wasn’t completely convinced he would stay conscious. He tried to bear it, if so to beg for his daughter’s life, and in a strange fugue he found himself in the throne room.

“My dear prince. ” There was venom to his words now. “Well. I should’ve known better, shouldn’t I? You played your cards almost perfectly . Were it not for my son’s vigilance, you could’ve wrought a whole lot of havoc, couldn’t you?”

Ienzo’s vision was blurry. He took a few stumbling steps forward and knelt, despite the wave of agony it caused him. “F-forgive…”

“We’re beyond that, I think.”

“P-please don’t hu--” He spat up more blood. He heard a muffled scream to his right, and the sound was so familiar that fear washed through him. As slowly as he could without causing himself pain, Ienzo turned towards the source of the noise.

Demyx. Crumpled at the foot of Young Xehanort’s throne, his hands bound. Ienzo just barely saw Braig behind them, his expression stony.

Xehanort smiled. “I’m sure our guest needs no introduction. You have quite a close relationship, don’t you? It’s alright. Say hello. Go to him.”

Demyx dashed over to him. “Ienzo. Ienzo. You’re so--” He could do little more than dab the blood off of his face.

“Wh-when did he--”

“They got us last night. All of us. At once.”

“Whe--”

“She’s okay. She’s okay, Ienzo. He left her with Even.”

“...Enough chit chat, I think.”

Demyx knelt and helped Ienzo lean against him. He pressed Ienzo’s hand, very subtly, against his pocket. Ienzo could feel the outline of a knife. No doubt that in the panic of their capture Demyx had been too worried about the baby to use it. Ienzo tried to work it out with small twitches.

This wasn’t going to be easy.

There were Heartless guards, even if Braig decided to help them. Even if Xehanort truly was as frail as he looked--and Ienzo was sure he wasn’t--there was also the matter of his son, glowering behind him, his own power not to be underestimated. Ienzo was wounded, his power jammed, and potentially all Xehanort would have to do was whisper before his whole family was killed.

But what else could he do? He was found out. Surely that wouldn’t mean leniency. And honestly? He’d rather everyone be dead than forced into a life of suffering and servitude. The knife slid into his hand, and he forced it up his sleeve as Xehanort spoke.

“You’ve caused me an awful lot of trouble, with your antics,” Xehanort began. “So much so that I can’t even justify keeping you as a pet. You’ve made it personal, so I shall do the same in turn. Child?”

But he was not speaking to Ienzo--all of a sudden there was another muffled cry and Demyx was pulled away from him. Young Xehanort dragged him across the stone, and despite Demyx’s struggling, it was fruitless. He threw him down at his father’s feet.

“What do you want?” Ienzo forced out painfully. He glanced at Braig. Do something, he thought desperately.

“Ienzo, it is not nice to hurt people who have treated you well.” He grasped Demyx by the hair. “It’s a shame. You could’ve been useful to me too. Seeker blood. You must be close to the last of your kind, no?”

“Fuck you,” Demyx spat, and Xehanort kicked him hard in the groin. “I’ll kill you,” he continued. “I’ll ki--”

It happened so fast that Ienzo could barely see it; all he knew was that suddenly Demyx was bleeding heavily from a spot below his heart, curling and convulsing on the cold marble.

“Rather annoying, that one,” Young Xehanort said.

Xehanort came closer to him. “You see, Ienzo, you need motivation ,” he continued. “You agree to help me, truly help me, and I’ll heal him. I’ll heal you both. Your child, your filthy family , will be safe. There is no need for suffering. It is counterproductive to what I want. You could usher in a new era of knowledge, of equality .”

“D-don’t--” Demyx forced out. “Don’t--”

“Shut up, boy. Kingdom Hearts could be ours . Your power, our strength. Decide quickly, Ienzo. It seems you’re running out of time.”

The proper thing to do would be to submit. Agree absolutely, yes, just stop the bleeding. Try to con his way out of this. But seeing Demyx twitch on the ground drowned out all reason, and something snapped. Ienzo screamed. Heat bled out of him, forcing against the jam, shattering it, a wave of magic making his skin burn. The sight of Demyx’s blood only made the burn worse, scalding, needing to get near him to heal , his whole soul crying out in agony. Suddenly it became clear why it was called soul binding.

“I told you he would not see reason,” Young Xehanort spat. “Why do you keep going after and after what will never succumb to you?”

Ienzo reached for the knife. Xehanort grasped his face. “This pain will pass, boy. This world can be… great again. I can shepherd in an era of--”

“Like hell you will.” It took the rest of his physical strength, but Ienzo took the knife, and all of his power, and he forced it outward, the Heartless guards to shiver and collapse and he forced the metal up through flesh and bone-- Xehanort collapsed, and the blood ran hot against Ienzo, but he didn’t care. He saw Braig grasp at Young Xehanort’s head and slit his neck. He could barely feel his body in this strange maelstrom of pain and numbness. He dragged himself over to Demyx, who had gone pale and still. “No.” He slapped at his face. “No, no, no--”

“Zo,” he slurred.

“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.” He held his hand over the wound and pulled. Healing Isa had been easy, with the magic from the birth, but he was fighting the jamming, and his own weakness, and he could not feel his own body, though somehow he felt like he was on fire --

Amalia needed Demyx.

The thought of her gave him enough strength to heal the wound--

“Zo?” Demyx’s voice was stronger now, and suddenly Ienzo was being the one cradled. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t move --

“I killed him. They’re dead,” he whispered.

“What’s wrong--why are you--”

“Too much…” He heard more than felt his teeth chattering. “Too much magic--”

“How do I fix it?”

“Can’t.”

“What do you mean I can’t?”

“Can’t--”

Then, the sound of footsteps and another voice-- “Braig--? Ienzo? ”

“Even--how did you--you’re covered in blood--”

“Not mine--don’t worry about that--”

“Dad?” Ienzo forced out.

“Child…”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s in… shock. I need…”

For a long while, everything just stopped.

#heartlines #ienzo #demyx #zemyx #xemnas #tron (kingdom hearts)#young xehanort #master xehanort

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aliceslantern · 5 years

Text

Beyond this Existence: New Life, short 8-- Precarious

Recovery is a tedious, nonlinear process. Demyx, Ienzo, and the others living in Radiant Garden's castle have to learn to come to terms with their pasts and their memories, learn to grow, and begin to understand what, exactly, it means to be human. While there is unexpected joy in this, there is also unexpected sorrow. A series of oneshots set after Beyond this Existence.

Current short: “Precarious.” Demyx finds Ansem wandering deliriously in the rain, and this dredges up painful memories for all involved.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

----

It was a stormy, blustery kind of day. Wind wailed against the stone of town, eerie and ghostlike.

Demyx and Aerith hadn’t had a whole lot of work that day; he noticed, for whatever reason, these things seemed to come and go in waves, regardless of whether or not it was sickness. Instead they were making a backlog of medicine, jockeying for the limited counter space in Aerith’s kitchen.

There had been a point when this made him nervous, when memorizing lists of ingredients and their corresponding spells gave him intense anxiety. Even just a few months later, it seemed second nature.

Maybe he wasn’t so stupid after all.

“...You seem spacey,” Aerith said.

“What? Oh, sorry.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“Just thinking that it’s gotten easier. That’s all.”

She smiled. “I knew it would. I told you. It just takes practice. I think you’re more of a manual learner, anyway.”

“That what Even says.” Demyx put the capsules in their bottles and labeled them.

“You’ve been doing well with the injuries, too. How many broken bones is it?”

“Too many to count.”

“Exactly. It’s baby steps.”

He nodded, then said, “You don’t have to take care of my ego.”

She snorted. “Trust me. I wouldn’t.”

The wind kicked up even more firmly against the kitchen windows. Thunder echoed against the stone.

Aerith frowned. “You should go home, unless you want to wait out the storm here.”

“Is this sort of weather normal?”

“For late summer, yes. The beginning and end of the drought’s always like this.”

He shook his head. “Alright. Well. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’m visiting Theo and Anya in the morning, just to make sure Anya’s cancer has stayed gone. You should be there to observe.”

It was the first time she’d mentioned bringing him along to something so serious. “Oh… Sure. When?”

“I’ll text you. Now get going before it rains.”

Demyx set off. The sky was dark, almost black, and town had gone still. The normally busy marketplace was all but empty, stalls shuttered or battened down with tarps. He picked up his pace.

He liked rain. The smell of it, the feel of it against his skin. It could be calming, could quiet down the human noise of the world, leaving behind the rest. This was not one of those storms. This was the kind that could blow out windows. Demyx pushed against the wind and felt the thin needles of water as the rain began to break.

The angry music of it quickly soaked him though. He made it up to the postern at last, preparing himself mentally for Dilan’s inevitable lecture about him getting mud everywhere, when he saw something.

Ansem stood, in the rain and the wind, by the railing, his red scarf flicking agitatedly.

Demyx approached him. “Ansem?”

He didn’t turn; his orange eyes stared over at the town, his face grim, stony.

“We should go in case there’s lightning,” Demyx said. “This is all metal. It’ll go up.”

He turned slightly. While he looked at Demyx, his eyes were elsewhere, slightly unfocused. “I haven’t seen such a storm in some time.”

“Yeah, it’s bad. Which is why we should go.” The stare was unnerving him, sending little flickers of anxiety through him. “Why are you out here?”

“There wasn’t weather there. It was all black nothingness, stillness, hell.”

Demyx blinked. “In the Realm of Darkness?” A peal of thunder startled him. “Ansem, I’d love to talk this through with you inside. We can’t stay out here.”

“Nothing is sustainable.”

“Look, that’s very philosophical, but I--” Demyx exhaled sharply, his heart in his throat. “Ansem, you didn’t come out here to--?”

He blinked, slowly. “No. I--no, that was not my intention. I suppose I wanted to feel--” Ansem didn’t finish the sentence. “I suspect I am not well.”

“Yeah? I can help you.” Between his heartbeat clanging in his ears and the wind, it was almost impossible to hear. He offered his hand to Ansem. “We can talk about this.”

“What is there to say?”

“You’ve gotta have something. You’re a smart guy. You’ve got a doctorate in something or another. Help me out.”

Ansem’s grip on the railing tightened. He might as well have been choking him. “I failed. I left them to clean up my mess. When he… when he apologized to me, only then did I realize what they did to that poor boy. I should have known they were using him as a puppet. I should never have--”

“Ansem, doing this isn’t going to help.”

“I’m not sure what will.”

“Please--”

“I have treated everyone in my life so poorly, without remorse. I have utterly neglected the code I swore to uphold. Why is it I deserve this chance when so many have perished?”

This was all sounding too familiar. Demyx swallowed the spit welling in his mouth, tasting rain. “I felt the same way too,” he admitted. “In the war, there were so many of us in the unions. And do you know how many Dandelions there were? Three hundred. Three hundred people got to live while the rest suffered and died. And I lived again and again. You can’t… you can’t question why. Maybe consider that you’re meant to be here, for whatever reason. If you give up now, that’s kind of like spitting on their graves, right?”

Ansem turned slightly.

“You and me can do the right thing. We can help people. That’s why we’re here. You… you believe in fate, right? You can’t see that as not mattering.” He offered his hand again. “Let’s go.”

After a long, agonizing moment, he reached out and took it. Ansem’s skin was warm, uncomfortably so. Demyx towed him steadily to the door, trying to maintain eye contact. As soon as they had crossed the threshold he breathed a sigh of relief. Ansem watched the water dripping from his scarf and coat like he wasn’t sure what it was. Demyx kept hold of his hand and scanned his vitals quickly.

Ansem was a mess, physically speaking; feverish, low blood pressure, heart beating unsteadily. He’d caught a bug, the bug made him delirious, and the delirium made him vulnerable to the pain he could usually keep controlled. It was sad, but made a lot of sense.

“Come on,” Demyx said softly. “We should get changed. You’re probably tired.”

“Things are… very unclear…” He shook his head.

“You’re just sick. I’ll help you.”

“You’re too kind. I saw it in you when we met.”

Likely untrue. “Come on. We’re almost there.”

Demyx was able to get Ansem to go put on dry clothes, and to get in bed. He fell fitfully asleep almost immediately. Anxiety and his damp clothes made Demyx shiver. He decided to chance going to change and get some medicine.

Dilan met him coming down the hallway and was predictably huffy. “You do know Aeleus and I just washed the floors, right? I do not appreciate you tracking mud and what have you--”

Demyx cut him off. “Ansem’s sick. I need to go get medicine. Can you keep him company for a few minutes?”

Dilan blinked. “Yes--quite--whatever’s the matter?”

“It feels like just a fever, but I--I’ll tell you in a bit.”

“...Certainly.”

He dried himself off quickly and felt a deep chill that only had partly to do with the rain. Demyx texted Ienzo and gathered some of the pills Aerith had gave him, including some antibiotics. Panic was making everything a little shimmery, as was the impact of what had just happened. He could freak out about this later.

Ansem was still asleep, flushed and washed out against the sheets. Demyx put up the kettle in the kitchen and shooed Dilan out of the seat he’d pulled up to the bedside. He felt again at Ansem, doing a little more of a thorough scan this time. It was a high fever, and seemed like one that had been unattended; he couldn’t be sure of the cause, as it didn’t feel bacterial. A virus. It didn’t seem to be causing any dangerous damage.

But the thing was, in order to do this spell Demyx had to feel at his energy, his aura, and you could feel a lot about a person from their aura. He felt Ansem’s guilt and pain pour into him, staggering regret. He let go of it and swallowed nausea. The kettle was whistling loudly. “Get that for me,” Demyx said to Dilan.

“Absolutely,” he said, with only a trace of bitterness, and came back with a cup of boiling water.

Demyx dropped one of the pills into it and watched it dissolve, turning a brownish pink.

“What’s that?” Dilan asked.

“Fever reducer.”

“I see.”

Demyx waited for the tea to cool. The proper thing to do would be to continue tracking his vitals, and try to destroy the virus from within, but the pain was just too much. No wonder, at first chance, it had come poking out of his psyche.

“What on earth happened?” Dilan asked.

“He must’ve been sick and decided to go out in the rain.”

“Your expression belies more than that.”

Demyx hesitated. Dilan had once been one of Ansem’s closest companions; didn’t that mean anything? Before he could even try to explain, Ienzo came through the doors, his face drawn.

“Is he alright?” he asked in a strained voice.

“The actual sickness itself doesn’t feel too serious.”

Ienzo frowned. “Then whatever is the matter?”

He took a deep breath. “Let’s go over into the other room. You, too,” he added towards Dilan.

The private study was a mess. Books and papers flooded the desk, as well as crusty glasses. It didn’t bode well for what Demyx had to say. Rain blew in from the partially open window; Dilan quickly sealed them.

Demyx took Ienzo’s hands.

“So it’s a mysterious fainting illness?” Dilan asked dryly. He leaned against the windowsill.

“Not quite. It’s a little baby virus. Once he gets some rest and fluids it’ll take care of itself. That’s not why I’m worried.” Demyx sighed. “I was coming up from town and I found him wandering deliriously by the postern. I think… and I’m not sure how delusional he really was, but I think he was trying to kill himself.”

Ienzo touched his throat. He breathed heavily.

“You’re sure you weren’t merely seeing things in the rain?” Dilan asked.

“I spoke to him. He asked why he deserved to live when everyone else had died. Stuff like that. I know he was sick, and that kind of twists things, but I…”

“I… I know he’s struggled, but I… I didn’t think he was…” Ienzo sat in the rocking chair.

“What can we do?” Dilan asked.

“I mean, there are medicines and spells that can help balance brain chemistry, but I mean, we really just have to talk it out. Get him to talk about it.” He took a few shaky breaths. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad we know,” Dilan said.

“I can probably do the most,” Ienzo said, looking at the floor instead of either of them. “I’ll… I’ll be here when he wakes.” His eyes were wide, and frightened. Demyx pulled him into an embrace, not particularly caring that Dilan was in the room. Demyx could feel Ienzo trembling. No doubt this was bringing up any number of unpleasant memories. He kissed him on the forehead.

“I’ll be right back,” Demyx said. “Keep an eye on him,” he mouthed to Dilan, who nodded in response.

He didn’t want to leave Ienzo, but he also couldn’t be sure how deeply Ansem was sleeping, or how delirious he really was. The tea was now cool enough to be drunk; he shook Ansem gently.

“Demyx?” He seemed groggy, disoriented.

“Here. Drink this. It’s for the fever.”At least, Demyx noted, he had enough wherewithal to do that on his own. “You’ll be okay. Just a virus.” He fought hard to keep his voice neutral, soft-spoken. “The rain doesn’t help.”

“The rain?” His expression sharpened. “I’m a--I’m a fool.”

Idiot. He shouldn’t have said that. “Try to get some rest. We can talk about this when you’re stronger.” Demyx took the empty cup from him.

“I do feel quite ill…”

“So sleep, okay?”

Wearily, Ansem turned over and went back to sleep.

They waited for a while. Ansem’s fever slowly dropped, but didn’t quite break. Ienzo sat on his other side, his expression grave, drawn. The rain continued to pour down. The room seemed dark, misty. Demyx didn’t know what to do with himself. He checked Ansem’s vitals, dabbed the feverish sweat off his forehead. Scrolled through Kingstagram. Held his breath.

After the longest few hours of Demyx’s life, Ansem stirred. Demyx got him a glass of water. “Here,” he said in a tone that was much more strained than he intended. “Drink some water. Keep up your fluids.”

He sat up slowly and touched his brow. “...Boys?” Ansem asked. “What are you doing here?”

“You fell ill,” Ienzo said, with difficulty.

“That is rather… embarrassing.” Ansem took the water from Demyx, and didn’t meet his eyes.

“What do you remember?” Demyx asked.

He frowned. “It’s all rather… hazy,” he said. “I was delirious, wasn’t I?”

“Something like that.” Demyx sat back down. “Do you remember anything else? Anything at all?”

Ansem held his gaze blankly for a moment, and then something seemed to spark. “Oh, dear,” he said softly. “I do believe… I was to do something reckless.”

“Reckless?” Ienzo asked incredulously. His face had turned pink.

Ansem turned to Ienzo. “My dear, sweet boy. How have you ever forgiven me for all I’ve done? Why? I left you there, with that… monster.”

Demyx could see Ienzo trembling, and trying to keep it contained.

“I have not even played a decent role in your recovery.”

Demyx felt like he was watching something too intimate. He started to go to the other room.

“Please stay,” Ienzo said in that same strained voice. Demyx understood. He stood behind him and rested his hands on his shoulders, feeling the incredible tension there. “Forgive me. I am… reeling.” A peal of thunder made him jump, slightly. “I can act as your… son, in this moment, or I can act as a therapist. Not as both.”

“I want nothing more than your honesty, Ienzo.”

He exhaled heavily. “I was told so many lies.” Ienzo spoke so softly that Demyx had trouble hearing him over the rain. “Lies about your sanity, about supposed experiments on children, about your… ulterior motive for adopting me.”

Ansem went to speak, but Ienzo held up a finger.

“And those lies…” His free hand was clutched tightly in his lap. “Those lies mutated the truth, mutated my memories. In dealing with this… guilt, I have been trying to forgive you, to realize now that your abandonment was not one by choice. I know that. But my heart…” His voice broke. “In my heart that trust is no longer there.”

“I do not desire your forgiveness, Ienzo. Nor do I deserve it.”

Demyx could feel him trembling. Ienzo needed him in this moment, for whatever reason, which is why he remained present, but he felt he were being a voyeur, watching something far too private.

“I…” His breathing grew more ragged. “I feel… used. Did you use me?”

“That was never my intention.” The pain stretched Ansem’s face taut. “I wanted to give you an opportunity. You were a bright light in a growing darkness, and I hoped to give you a chance to use your brilliance for good. But I… I should have let that be your choice. You should have been given the chance at a childhood, a real one. Rather than spending it wrapped in matters too mature.” Ansem took Ienzo’s hand.

“Did you truly desire an end to your own life?” he asked.

“Pain creeps unbidden. It is… difficult to fight it off.”

“I don’t want that.” Demyx could hear Ienzo’s breaths quivering. “I don’t want you to--”

“Then I won’t. Simply as that. I owe it to you, to live. I owe you so much more.” Ansem wiped, shakily at his eyes. “I am glad for your honesty. It gives me a sort of strength. If I know what is wrong, I can try to mend it.”

“I want that.” He was crying freely now. “I want that very much.”

Demyx handed him a clean handkerchief. Ienzo squeezed his hand once.

“Would you leave us?” Ienzo asked. “I do believe there’s a lot to say.”

Demyx kissed his salty cheek. “Okay.”

#beyond this existence: new life #demyx #ienzo #ansem the wise #tw: suicide #or rather talk thereof #depression #beyond this existence

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aliceslantern · 5 years

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Beyond This Existence, chapter 19

Summary: After Xehanort's death, Demyx finds himself unexpectedly human in Radiant Garden. With nothing but fragments of his past and a cryptic statement from Xemnas, he's left to figure out who he is. When Ienzo asks for his help with a project, the two find common ground, but the trauma and secrets in both of their pasts could tear it apart. Zemyx (Demyx/Ienzo), post-KH3 canon compliant

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

----

Pain seared down his right arm. He swatted automatically, blindly, and found himself countering the enraged Heartless. It pressed down harder on him and seemed to want to rip the blade out of his hands. He pulled back as hard as he could.

In this chaos, he heard Ienzo yell-- “Hold them off!”

“Are you serious?” What the fuck was he doing?

Demyx jumped back. The Heartless was faster than him and continued to batter as his poor defense. Even in those days he hadn’t been great at physical combat, relying on magic instead, but he had next to no magic. Demyx ran blindly, hoping to get in a slash to its flank. It grabbed him by his leg and threw him against the wall, knocking the breath out him and flooding his vision with stars.

“Are you alright?” Ienzo shouted.

Nothing felt broken, but he could barely move his left leg. Must have pulled a tendon badly. “Oh, I’m fucking peachy!” He forced himself to stand and his knees nearly buckled. It dove. At this point it was just playing with its food.

“Hey!” There was a raw shrillness to Ienzo��s voice. It turned slightly. Demyx’s heart flew into his throat.

“Ienzo, no!”

It dashed towards him. Ienzo held something up--a red file--at eye level, unflinching even as it barrelled at him. “This is you!” He cried. “This is what we did to you. We destroyed you. We made it so that you can’t remember. We even took away your name! And then we destroyed it. And this is all that’s left. You deserve more than to be a letter. You… you’re…” He glanced at it briefly. “Even when you were here you had friends who loved you deeply. Friends who risked their hearts to save you. Isn’t that right? Subject X?”

They stopped dead in their tracks. Demyx limped towards them, preparing to strike.

“No,” Ienzo said. “Put it away.”

“Ienzo--”

“She’s listening.”

“She?”

The Heartless looked at Demyx for a long moment.

“Friends?” Demyx said slowly. He blinked. It all clicked. Everything. “Lea and Isa? You mean she’s that girl they were talking about?” She hadn’t disappeared. She’d transformed.

The Heartless chirped urgently.

“Yes! Lea and Isa,” Ienzo said slowly. “They tried so hard to save you. I remember.”

“They still miss you,” Demyx added. “They were just telling me all about you. They would have come themselves but they… they had to go away.”

Ienzo let the file come down. It dropped out of his palm.

“Wait…” Demyx said. He struggled to pick up the first page, the one with the picture clipped to it. “No…” He blinked rapidly, as though it might disappear. He was dizzy with memory.

Ienzo was breathing hard. His normally impeccable posture had wilted, like he’d been the one fighting her off. “Whatever’s the matter? Is it your injuries?”

He shook his head. “I know her.”

Ienzo squinted. “You… know…”

“I know her,” he reasserted. “She’s… she’s from my time.” He turned towards Subject X and jabbed towards the picture. “This is you, right?”

The Heartless whistled.

“You… you probably don’t recognize me,” Demyx said. “I was younger then, and my hair was different. But I’m all grown up now. You didn’t get to do that, did you?” He summoned the Keyblade and held it flat in his hands. “You complimented my Keyblade, because it was unique. My name changed, but then it was…” He whispered it.

Ienzo’s expression was incredulous.

The Heartless eyed him more closely.

“I know,” Demyx said. “Really different. And Ienzo is too. We’re all grown up now. I wish… I wish our party hadn’t fallen apart. You were pretty much the only cool one there. But you always kept to yourself. And then I saw you in the Dandelions too. It was the Foretellers who pulled us out of time and wiped our memory. You just had the shittiest luck to end up here.”

She held out one trembling claw. Demyx took it. The sharp claws sliced into his right palm, sending yet more pain through him, but he held it in. Ienzo reached for him.

“It’s okay,” he lied, more for the girl than for Ienzo. “She’s not hurting me. We’re going to help you, okay? We can make it stop hurting. Do you want that?”

The Heartless tightened her claw. He took a quick breath through his teeth.

“You’ll be free,” he said. “We’ll all be free, Skuld. Close your eyes.”

The Heartless listened. Demyx took the Keyblade and drew it through her heart.

And then it was quiet. And there were no more Heartless.

Pain throttled him more than anything else, and he stifled a whimper.

“Let me see your hand,” Ienzo said. He himself didn’t look so hot. Demyx reached into the bag and retrieved the first aid kit. He dropped to a kneel. His leg hurt too much to keep putting weight on it. Ienzo’s own hands, when they took his, were trembling. “It’s not infected.” Then more gently, “You were so very tender with her.”

He wrapped it with gauze. Demyx was trying to be tough but couldn’t help flinching. “That should hold until we can get you to Even or Aerith. Where else are you hurt? Here.” He gave Demyx one of the potions. It tasted slimy and sweet. The pain subsided to a dull throb. “You were limping.”

“I’m pretty sure I just tore a hammy. I don’t think anything’s broken.”

Ienzo felt at the bones anyway. His eyes were dull. When he looked down, Demyx could see the faint sliver of red beneath his nose and the world seemed to come to a stop.

Demyx was barely aware of it when he spoke. “Ienzo? You’re bleeding.”

He touched it. Demyx could tell he hadn’t known. What power even was this? Use of the lexicon? Had he created some illusion for all this Heartless that Demyx hadn’t seen? Or was it the feeling? He’d dragged Demyx out of the pain. And now he’d done that again, for them, times a hundred.

“It’s okay,” Demyx said numbly. “Even told me what to do in this situation.”

The brightness in him seemed to be fading. “You asked him?” Ienzo asked quietly.

God. This all hurt so badly. “You’re going to be fine.” He dug out the syringe. “Give me your phone. I’m going to call them.”

“What’s that?” Ienzo asked. There was a trace of denial in his voice, which was somehow worse. It felt like a betrayal.

He took a breath. “Something to slow the damage to your heart.”

“Damage?”

“Absorbing all that pain drained the strength from your will. Now your organs are shutting down.”

“So I’m to sleep again?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t know. I didn’t feel it. The power.” He shuddered a little, and Demyx caught him when he fell back into his arms.

“I know.” Demyx touched his face. “I love you,” he said. And stabbed.

Ienzo didn’t lose consciousness all at once. It took a moment, a moment where Demyx could clearly see him fighting it. There was a rough, animal fear. Eventually he went limp. Tears ran itchily down Demyx’s face. He took Ienzo’s pulse. Weak. He took the phone out of Ienzo’s pocket. Dialed. He couldn’t get the words out from crying too hard.

“It’s alright,” Even said. “I know. We’re coming.”

This shouldn’t feel familiar.

Through the veil of wetness in his eyes, he kept monitoring him. Demyx could hear him struggling to breathe. If it weren’t for his leg he could carry Ienzo, but his arms were shaking too hard with a potent mixture of stress and exhaustion. Had he been too late? He should’ve made him turn back. This was all his fault--

Ienzo’s pulse dropped. Numbly Demyx began to do compressions. How much time had passed, or was passing? Where were they? What was he going to do if--

All of his readings had been just that--readings. Theory wasn’t going to help him here.

Before long he found himself being pushed out of the way. He hadn’t heard footsteps or voices. Everything was ringing a little bit and was fuzzy. Even and medicine, blond hair and white coats. Dilan appraised Demyx, pulled him aside. Only the agony of his leg when he tried to get him to walk shook the weird spell. Something about an injury. Something about blood loss. Dilan hefting him up. Dilan, pulling harder when he resisted, but the combination of exhaustion and weakness made it an easy squabble. Getting carried like a baby. Aerith as she ran down the stairs.

Being set down on his bed. Dilan, cleaning and tending to his hand and arm. Tea being pressed into his uninjured hand. The pain of it all was incredible. Demyx was vaguely aware of being offered painkillers, or a sedative, but was too numb to consent to it.

Outside, it began to snow.

Hours must’ve passed. Gradually, gradually, the ringing in his ears subsided, and he became more clearly aware of his surroundings. The blanket around his shoulders. The now-cold teacup in his hands. The distinct, sharp throb of his arm and leg, a diagonal slash of pain across the body. Demyx reached for the bottle of painkillers he’d been given for the scratch on his hand months ago, took two, and sat down.

There was a gentle knock at the door. His heart immediately started racing. He stood, in his haste forgetting he could barely move, and fell.

“Oh, bother,” Even said. “Here. Right. Up we go.” He helped Demyx sit back on the bed. His hair had been pulled out of his face and was stringy with what seemed to be sweat. Eyes dull. Complexion washed out. Without another word he began to prod at Demyx’s wounds.

“What’s going on,” Demyx asked. “How--”

“Getting yourself worked up will not help the situation,” Even said levelly. “Let me see your leg.” He felt at it gently. Demyx was right in his diagnosis; it was only a torn hamstring. He wrapped in in an elastic bandage over his jeans.

“Even,” Demyx hedged desperately. “He’s not--”

“No,” Even said. “Ienzo lives yet.”

He felt only the slightest relief. “You say that as if it’s not guaranteed.”

Even sighed. “His condition is quite critical. Aerith is doing what she can. The situation he’s in… it’s quite extreme. We’re still not fully sure of the extent of the damage.”

“He didn’t know he was doing it,” Demyx said. He hiccupped. “He was taking them out of the pain. Out of the memory, like he did for me.”

“And the interference of darkness doubtless doesn’t help.”

“I didn’t know either,” Demyx said. “I just--I thought--I didn’t see anything, and then when I did see he was getting weak I tried to get him out of there. But then I got attacked.”

“You’re not at fault.”

“Yes I am.” His voice rose on a wave of hysteria he barely felt. “I shouldn’t have let him do this at all--”

“As you said. This would’ve happened sooner or later. Ienzo, in his humanity, has become quite impulsive.”

“Still, I--”

“I believe he was more sensitive to their pain than he let on. He always was acutely aware of darkness. When he was a little boy, he would tell me he could hear the screams. I always thought it was trauma. Now I'm not so sure.” Even brushed a strand of hair out of his face.

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” It was starting to hit him now. Demyx wanted anger, wanted to be screamed at.

Even’s gaze was steely. “You two were the only ones equipped to end this suffering, and willing to do it. I cannot be mad that has a price.”

“I knew her.” The tears were running freely now. “Subject X. Her name was Skuld.”

Even blinked. “Really?”

He nodded. “We were both Dandelions.”

“I did think that was a needlessly poetic name.” Even squeezed Demyx’s hand gently. His skin was cold and papery. “This has obviously been quite traumatic for you.”

“What about you?”

“It is never easy to see Ienzo in danger,” he said haltingly. “I admit I do not care for this new self-sacrificing streak of his.”

“You raised him.”

Even gave him an odd look. “You know how I feel about Ansem’s paternal instincts. What was I to do, let the boy go rabid?” He sighed. “Like many days of our past, that was a harsh one. All of a sudden I’m presented with a bloody, traumatized child and expected to make it all better. Not unlike now. At least you’re speaking to me. It took him close to a year to talk.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You should get some rest. You must be exhausted.”

“But what if he--”

“Should the situation worsen, I will rouse you.” He stood. “He would not want you to push yourself for his sake.”

Even had a point. Demyx nodded. Left alone in the room, he lay under the mound of covers and counted every breath until he fell asleep.

---

The snow kept falling.

When he woke, he tried to stand and nearly cried out. Not only was he hurt, he was bruised and sore. He was able to at least limp around a little. He made his way over to Ienzo’s room, step by painful step. Aerith sat in the chair by the bed. One of her hands was on Ienzo’s forehead; the other held his. She wasn’t mouthing spells. Demyx shivered.

She looked up at him and offered a tired smile.

“How is he?” Demyx asked cautiously. He limped over to the foot of the bed.

“It was touch and go most of the night,” she admitted. “He was fighting to hang on, but the internal damage and exhausted will made it quite a fight. He finally stabilized around dawn. Breathing and pulse are steady. All good signs. You did the right thing by inducing that sleep. If he was conscious, it would have been too much.”

Demyx sat weakly. “Is he going to pull through?”

“I’m almost certain.” Her expression was serious, though. “The will is probably the most mysterious and least explored aspects of the human body. He’s exhausted it down to near nothing. But he’s still alive. If it was truly gone he would have passed on by now. And he gets stronger every hour. I think that means something.” She sighed. “We’re not meant to have certain powers, as much as they’re tools for us. You’ve both been lucky so far. I don’t think you’ll be lucky again. Meddling with forces of nature like this is deadly.”

“I know. It was his connection to them that did it, I think.”

“Them?”

“The people in the experiments.”

Aerith dropped her eyes. “I was only a kid when it happened,” she said. “I thought it was a ghost story, at first. But we’d hear it. The screaming, at night. Internalizing all that pain… it makes sense now.” She took her hand off Ienzo’s forehead. “I wish I could do something about your injuries. But I have no magic left. I can come back and tend to them later after I get some sleep.”

“It’s okay. I’m probably just going to stay around here anyway.”

“You’re all shaken up about this,” she stated.

Demyx exhaled. “I’m used to seeing people in danger. Not so used to seeing people I love that way.��

“Psychically, it takes a toll. Remember to take care of yourself too.”

“I’ll try my best.”

She stood and gave him a hug. “I’ll be back in a few hours. If anything urgent changes between now and then, you know what to do.”

For several long minutes after Aerith was gone, Demyx watched Ienzo breathe. His skin was sallow, almost yellowish. He could see the veins in Ienzo’s hands. “Here we are again,” he said sadly.

His hand hurt too much to play Arpeggio. Snow fell in a straight, even sheet.

“...Are you alright?”

Demyx turned slowly. Ansem was just as haggard as the rest of them. “Kinda beat up. But I’ll be okay.”

He squeezed Demyx’s shoulder and sat in the chair. “That was a brave thing you two did. Infinitely stupid and foolish. But brave. This began with Ienzo being thrust into danger, and ended with him willfully choosing it. Life can be… odd like that sometimes.”

“The Heartless down there were different than the normal ones,” Demyx said. “It’s almost like they were a bit more human. More aware.”

“Maybe because you had never viewed them as human before.”

“Maybe.” He turned again to Ienzo. “I don’t understand why this happened. I mean… logically, I do. I have power. Aerith has power. Why can’t he?”

“Ienzo’s power was borne not out of a place of necessity, but of pain,” Ansem said. “Overcoming that pain made use of it all the more dangerous. At least, that’s what I think of it. I’m hoping from here on out you can determine your own fates without that weight hanging over all. It’s time to move on. Truly. After all this I do not want to spend one more moment dwelling on Xehanort. That monster deserves nothing. I want instead to focus on the lives of those dear to me.” He touched Ienzo’s hand.

“Yeah,” Demyx said. “Me too.”

----

The weeks passed with a simultaneous uniformity and variation. The cold snaps became less frequent. Snow subsided to sleet, then to rain. Demyx kept studying, kept playing Arpeggio, kept Ienzo company. Aerith taught him spells to help care for his sleeping form, and to his surprise he found he picked them up quickly. There had been a reason for all this reading after all.

The ache of missing him never quite went away. Especially when he slept at night alone. Even if he’d had an otherwise good day, he was bound to remember some time or another. Inevitably. Inexorably.

He’d been given one of the spare gummiphones by Ansem, urging him to keep in touch with the others. The device took some getting used to. So did the constant communication. He did like to see what the others got up to on the photo program. They all looked so… happy. Lea or Roxas would reach out to him every now and again, and he tried to sound optimistic. After all, if Ventus could sleep for twelve years, what was a few weeks?

He was taking a nap when Ienzo woke up.

Only since he’d been using the little basic spells could he appreciate Aerith’s power. Performing minor vital checks, scans, or atrophy-reversing spells wore him out like nobody’s business.

He was shaken awake. Gently. When he saw Ienzo standing over him he thought it was part of a dream.

“I sleep for weeks, and yet somehow you’re the one that must be woken,” he said drolly. His voice was hoarse, scratchy.

“Ienzo?”

He smiled. “Good morning.”

The weight of all the previous weeks crushed him all at once. Demyx pulled him into his arms. Tasting tears. Tasting happiness.

#beyond this existence #demyx #ienzo #zemyx #demyx/ienzo #next chapter is the epilogue

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aliceslantern · 5 years

Text

Beyond This Existence, chapter 17

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

----

The weeks passed, one after the other, uniformly. Demyx got used to being cold all the time. He started helping Aeleus more with the shoveling after he read that being in shape boosted magical stamina. Moving helped keep him from thinking so much.

Ienzo continued to improve, but still didn’t wake up. Taking care of him was a strange kind of intimacy. A husk of the real person. Missing him was a sour, lonely seed. He played sitar for him, sometimes. While they never quite disappeared, his calluses had softened substantially in the past few months, and practicing for so long quite literally hurt. It suited his mood.

He kept studying, found it was easier to remember and understand if he had Arpeggio in hand. He’d always had a knack for remembering songs and chords. Creating the association helped him remember the oh-so complicated theory. Aerith was right; this was going to be hard .

Demyx found himself falling again headlong into nightmares. Not just nightmares about his past, though those were pretty numerous--there were only so many times you could remember getting beaten up and seeing someone die--but also anxiety dreams about Ienzo. Usually sequences of them being separated or literally torn apart.

It was hard to sleep at night. Some of these nights he made himself some tea and went back to laying down. Others, not so much.

One of these lonesome nights, he was swilling the dregs of tea leaves around in his cup. It was getting hard to focus on things, like his brain was seizing up. Demyx heard footsteps and, while logically he knew it was just one of them, he felt himself tensing automatically to be attacked. He took a deep breath.

Ansem was looking as haggard as ever. “I was surprised to see the light on so late. My boy, why aren’t you in bed?”

“Can’t sleep,” he said simply.

“A common malady around here. Would you mind some company?”

He did, but he shook his head. Ansem sat down across from him.

“I’ve heard you want to be a healer,” he said. “I think that’s a noble path.”

“Noble,” he echoed. “Some hope.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard not to feel very blah about things lately.”

Ansem sat forward a little. “How are you coping?”

“Oh, great. I’m peachy keen.”

Ansem seemed not to know how to reply. “It’s not… simple.”

“I mean, nothing is. I’m worried.”

“About what?”

“Everything.” He exhaled. “Mostly… what happens if Ienzo doesn’t wake up?” A few beats of silence. “Even and Aerith both say he will. But it’s been almost a month and a half. I can’t imagine what would happen if…” He trailed off.

“Sora slept for a year, and came out on the other side.”

“Ienzo isn’t Sora, though.”

“No,” Ansem agreed. “Well… should that much time pass… we will weigh our options accordingly.”

He felt like he’d been punched. He struggled to catch his breath.

“But I have faith,” Ansem said. “Ienzo is tenacious. He wouldn’t give up this new life if he had a say in the matter.”

Demyx knew that was true, but felt tears rising in his eyes anyway. He tried fighting them in vain.

“Admittedly, I feel relieved that the love you have for him is so genuine,” Ansem said. “At first I was… concerned-- He’s grown up so sheltered, and I had no idea if you might have certain… expectations of him.”

“Oh my god.” Heat flooded his face.

“After all, I’d no idea who you were. Can you blame me? At the same time, I think you’ve given him the support that we failed to provide. I never provided a home where he could afford to be vulnerable. It’s one of my greatest regrets. One of many.”

Demyx didn’t know what to say. The embarrassment and tears were both drying up, leaving him somewhat ambivalent.

“Have you considered your future here?” Ansem asked.

“At the castle? Or Radiant Garden in general?”

“Either. Both.”

Exhausted and emotionally drained, it was hard to really think. “I… want to be with him,” he admitted. “I want to start my life for real. Here is as good as anywhere.”

“Radiant Garden takes a while to grow on one, I think.” He patted Demyx’s hand. “I hope that you can find happiness. I really do.”

“I’ll settle for “stable” first.”

----

Snow fell in an even, bright sheet. Demyx wiped the frost off of Ienzo’s window. Vitals all normal. Perfect, actually. He sat at the foot of the bed and started idly playing Arpeggio, letting the chords flow with his mood and the snow. Snow always reminded him of minor keys, but not necessarily sadness.

He heard a sharp breath. At first, he attributed it to his own dissociation. Demyx checked in with himself and tuned a few strings. Arpeggio did not like the cold either. He glanced over at Ienzo. Teal eyes blinked stiffly.

Demyx froze. His heart was in his throat and his mouth tasted like copper.

Ienzo stirred with great difficulty, propping himself on one shaky elbow. He touched his face.

Demyx breathed his name.

Ienzo looked up at him through his bangs. He squinted as if it were hard to see.

“Hey.” He spoke softly, as though being louder would break the spell. “Hey there. I’m so glad you’re awake.”

Ienzo tried to speak, but could only mouth a few words.

Demyx’s heart was racing. He got him a glass of water from the pitcher on the dresser and handed it to him. “Here. Take it easy. Baby steps.” He checked pulse and temperature. Still normal, still solid.

Ienzo took a few sips. His voice was hoarse. “I heard you,” he said.

“You mean Arpeggio?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know you didn’t always like to listen to me--”

“No, it was perfect.”

“I thought it might maybe help you find your way back.”

“I think it did.”

Demyx could not stop looking at him. He took Ienzo’s hands into his own. His skin was cool and a bit clammy, but present. Alive.

“It’s been a long time,” Ienzo said, matter of fact.

“About a month and a half. Was pretty touch-and-go for a while,” Demyx admitted. “Your EKG activity has been changing. We knew you would wake up, but it was just a question of-- well, when.”

“You’ve been taking care of me.”

“Helping,” he said. “It… makes me feel less, well, helpless.”

“You’re whole.”

“I’ve been whole.”

“It still feels as though I’m meeting you for the first time.”

He cracked a smile. “It’s been happening slowly,” he said. “My old self and my new self, it’s all sort of…” He knotted his fingers to demonstrate. “I love you. That hasn’t changed.” It felt so good to say it.

“I love you as well.”

Demyx leaned forward and kissed him delicately. He wanted to pull him close and not let go but made himself back off. He could feel yet more tears. “I’ve been, um, a bit of a crybaby,” he said.

“But this time it’s a happy cry.”

He nodded, patting his eyes. “I’m just hoping we can finally be together now,” he said. “‘Cause… no offense… I’m kind of sick of this crap.”

Ienzo laughed. “I hope so, Demyx. Er.”

“Demyx is still fine. I don’t really care. But if you really want to know.” He whispered the name.

Ienzo repeated it. “That’s not what I thought it would be.”

“Yeah. It was a revelation to me too at the time.”

“Surely you haven’t spent the whole six weeks at my bedside?”

He shook his head. “I still needed to, like, sleep and stuff. But actually I’ve been spending time with the others. Even and I are friends now, which is really weird.”

“I’m glad you two have found this a bonding experience,” he teased.

“He’s been asking me one thousand questions about the past. And trying to study my Keyblade. He keeps trying to touch it, but I can’t risk anyone inheriting that shit. No more kids are going to go through what I went through. This thing dies with me.”

There was a beat of silence. Ienzo dropped his eyes for a moment and felt at the quilt as though he weren’t sure it was real. “I’m glad you have Arpeggio back.”

“Me too,” he said. “But it took a lot of work. A lot or work. A lot of learning bad stuff about myself.” He tapped his thumbs together. “I think I want to study healing.”

Ienzo blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean. I know it’s dumb, and I’m probably too stupid, but--”

“No. Neither it nor you are stupid. I think you’d be wonderful.”

He blushed. “I don’t want to feel helpless again. And if I can keep others from feeling that way…”

“If this is what your heart says to do, do it.”

“I’ve been talking to Aerith. She’s really nice. I was going to start training with her once you got better.” He sighed. “But in a weird way I’ve been lonely. I’ve… really missed you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t be. You saved me.”

“Do you really believe you wouldn’t have woken up?”

A shudder went through him. Demyx pulled his knees close. “It was dark in that water,” he said slowly. “Dark and cold. And there was so much pain I didn’t think I could stand all of it. There was this little bit of me that just said to let go. And if I did I wouldn’t have woken up.”

“You would’ve lost the will to live.”

He nodded. “And I was going to do it. I was so, so close. I didn’t know how to get free. But then I felt you drag me out of the water, and I heard your voice, and I remembered that there are good things, too. I have to make this third or fourth or whatever chance worth it. Because I’m not gonna get another one.” He paused. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about stuff.”

Ienzo hugged him. At the touch Demyx felt a fresh onslaught of weepiness and a rush of affection. “If you want to heal bodies,” Ienzo said slowly, “I want to heal minds.”

Demyx pulled away. “Saving me nearly killed you.” He was not going to let Ienzo do this again. It wasn’t worth the cost.

Ienzo shook his head. “Maybe not literally. Maybe not with magic. Maybe with… with words. It can be a work in progress.”

“That sounds… good. Who knows. We all need a bit of help.”

----

The first few days Ienzo was conscious were easy, and gave Demyx probably too much hope. According to Aerith, aside from some headaches he was perfectly healthy. He just needed to get stronger.

“How’s the studying going?” Aerith asked him.

“It’s going,” Demyx said. “Makes me feel stupid. But I feel like I’m starting to wrap my head around it.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you still interested?”

He considered. “Yeah. I mean, yes.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a few books. “Start reading and memorizing these.”

He wrinkled his nose, but took the volumes. “Never as simple as a Cure spell,” he muttered.

“You haven’t seen anything. Feel free to call me about it anytime. Don’t rush, though.”

Ienzo was still weak and tired easily. They took walks to try and rebuild his strength. Sometimes they talked; mostly they didn’t. Demyx wished he could be witty, could tell jokes and make him smile. He seemed so listless. Had Ienzo seen something in those weeks of dreams? Was he simply exhausted?

Demyx felt weirdly numb. He was fairly sure this disconnect didn’t reflect on their relationship--he still loved him so impossibly much--but on something within. The inside of his head felt smooth and quiet. Food, even the good food Ienzo made, tasted bland. Sleep was still hard, even when they were in the same bed.

“Demyx?”

Ienzo’s voice startled him.

“Are you alright?”

The words took a moment to process. He looked down to his half-eaten toast. “I’m fine. A little tired.”

Ienzo cocked his head slightly. “You seem very tired lately.”

He shrugged. “It’s the cold. Wears me out.”

Ienzo sat across from him at the table. “Are you sure it’s nothing more? You haven’t seemed yourself lately.” Ienzo took his hand.

“I’m still learning who that is,” he said softly.

“Well, then how do you feel?”

“Honestly?”

Ienzo nodded.

It seemed to take time to find the strength to speak. “Mostly--tired,” he said. “Tired, and numb. I thought I was supposed to be happy. We can finally put our lives together. And it seems like every day I feel a little weaker.”

“Because of your memories? And what you learned about yourself finding Arpeggio?”

“I… guess.” Demyx’s hand trembled and he withdrew it. “It’s just like. Why did I survive out of those thousands of wielders? And why is it that I of all people remember what happened? It feels so senseless. Couldn’t I have fought harder? Saved someone?”

“You were a child,” Ienzo said. “You were trying to stay alive.”

“And why did Xehanort choose me? I wasn’t ever the strongest and I never could collect as much lux as the others. Again and again I was his puppet. And he threw me away.”

He frowned. “Do you see yourself as not having worth?”

Demyx scoffed. “As a pawn? Absolutely. But as a real person?” He shrugged.

Ienzo digested all this. “I think you’re depressed,” he said slowly.

Of course. Tragedy over, he was in the processing phase. And that was immeasurably icky. “I guess so. I am just so tired of constantly fighting.”

“I know you are. But you’re done fighting now.”

“Not really.” He smiled dryly. “Still have to get my shit together. That’s an uphill battle.”

“Maybe I can help you,” Ienzo said. “I have studied psychology, after all.”

He snorted. “Not that I doubt your competence, but wouldn’t it be a huge conflict of interest if my boyfriend were my therapist?”

He dropped his eyes, as he was wont to do every time he had to think through something. “Perhaps you’re right. I’m not certain who else here you would feel comfortable talking to, though.”

Ienzo had a point. Demyx didn’t feel nearly secure enough in his new bonds with the others to bring up his past--moreso than the scant summation he gave Even. “...I guess you’re right.”

Ienzo’s eyes glinted. “You can’t let these feelings fester. They’ll worsen.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You’re hurting too.”

“Don’t be absurd.”

“Ienzo.” He took a breath. Demyx was getting better at reading him. He was evading like hell. “Let me help you too.”

“You have none of the training.”

“I can listen,” he said.

Ienzo’s calm exterior slipped for a moment.

“I know you have a lot to say. Tell me the story.”

“Will you tell me yours?”

He nodded.

“It’s a deal.”

Later that afternoon, they sat on cushions in front of the library’s fireplace under blankets. Ienzo blew into his hands, shivering almost audibly. The cold almost--but not quite--distracted him from the massive lump of panic lodged in his chest. “I’ve never done this before. Therapy.”

Ienzo smiled a little. “I’ve never counselled. It’s not as if you can make mistakes in this process. Take things at your own pace. We’ve got time.”

Beneath the blanket, his hands shook. “I don’t know where to begin.”

“Maybe start with how you’re feeling,” Ienzo suggested gently.

“I feel… mostly numb. And anxious. And jittery, like someone’s going to come around a corner and get me. Sleeping is hard. Eating is hard.”

“You’ve barely touched your sitar.”

“Exactly. It’s like my whole head is quiet. Even before I had all my memories, yeah I was messed up, but I still wanted to be alive.”

Ienzo’s face remained suspiciously blank. “Do you want to die?”

“Not… die,” Demyx said. He twisted a corner of the blanket in his hands. “Just… not exist, you know.”

Demyx knew this wasn’t easy to hear. Ienzo took a moment to think. “Unfortunately, you’re feeling this way because you’re whole,” he said. “Often the human mind can’t fully comprehend a traumatic situation until after it’s over. Once you’re out, the symptoms become more prominent. It doesn’t help that you had to repress years and years of your time as a Keyblade wielder. It’s a lot of work for the mind to do all at once. It’s actually a miracle you’re as stable as you are.”

“That’s because of you,” Demyx said quietly. “Not because of the power of love or all that. It’s when you were in my head. I know the memories are still there. I remember them. But at the same time, something about it stopped it from hurting so much.”

“I can’t say for certain what I did,” he said. “As I remember it, I was brought to a beach and I found you in the water. I took you out of it. And that’s all. Though--I’m afraid I don’t understand this new power of mine, at all. I’m not even sure I can replicate it, or if I would want to. The strain on my body is clearly too much.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to,” Demyx said. He picked lint off of the blanket.

“The good thing is that by processing these things, the symptoms will lessen,” Ienzo said. “But you’ll have to feel these emotions instead of bottling them up.”

“Oh, goody,” he mumbled.

Ienzo tried to smile. “I’ve been where you are. I am where you are. It’s not easy. But you have to. And you have to want to.”

“I do,” he said. He exhaled. “I want to be happy, and I want to be good, and frankly it really royally fucking sucks that now we have to deal with this shit instead of just, like, hanging out and going on dates and living. Like what kind of negative fucking karma did I gather in my previous life? Was everything I did as Demyx that bad? Do I somehow deserve this?”

“You’re not alone, feeling that way.” He sat up a little straighter. “You and I have had abnormal childhoods, and abnormal adolescences, constantly under the control of one adult or another who was playing god with us. Now that we’re real people, and adults, coming to terms with that utter lack of agency is almost impossible.”

“Agency?” Demyx asked. “God damn it. You’re right.”

“From now on I choose my own path,” he said, very softly, as though quoting someone.

“But how?”

He shrugged. “Demyx, I really don’t know. We both want to help people, right?”

He nodded.

“And yet, we cannot adequately help others without taking care of ourselves. As I’ve learned.”

Demyx leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.

“It’ll be best to take things easy for a little while,” he said. “Do what you can, when you can. This cold doesn’t help either. But getting stagnant will only keep you in that mindset.”

For a few minutes he watched the fire burn across the thick logs. “What about you?” Demyx asked.

“What about me?”

“How do you feel?”

Ienzo looked down. “I feel…” He paused. “Since I regained the lexicon, I feel stable. But at the same time it seems like a false stability. And I’m not sure if that certainty of falsehood comes from a place of truth or a place of paranoia. Hardly anything in my life has ever been stable.”

“So it feels wrong for things to even out?”

“I… yes. It does. And it shouldn’t. I know that much.”

“I know what you mean.”

The fire was getting low. They had to either stoke it or leave. “Do you want to keep talking, or take a break?” Ienzo asked.

“We can keep talking. It’s even colder downstairs.” He took a few logs off of the pile and placed them inside. “How did you ever grow up in this place, anyway?”

“Well, to be fair I only lived here three years. From after my parents died, up until I became a Nobody.”

“...Is it starting to feel like home again?”

Ienzo ran a hand through his bangs. “Yes and no,” he said. “There are terrible memories tied up in this place, and deep, unshakeable betrayals. And yet. As I’m learning to forgive everyone, and myself, those bonds are healing. And you’ve given me some good memories here, too. But this is as much home as I’ve ever had. At this point I have to create these concepts for myself. I never had them before.”

“What? Of home?”

“Of family,” he said softly.

Demyx curled a strand of hair around his finger. “I never really had that either,” he said.

“No? Not even when you were a child?”

He snorted. “How do you think this child army thing worked?”

“I do not understand.”

Demyx started fidgeting again. “Well I mean. There were all sortsa different levels to it. Like, there were the wielders who were nobility, and kept passing it down to each other. And then there were just regular families who kept their Keyblades in their family line. And then there were just random ass people who happened to be “worthy” of it.” He said this bitterly. “Lucky me, I was part of the last group.”

“So wielders were the majority group?” He sounded confused.

“I mean, kinda yeah. Even if you didn’t use it, or train with it, you still had one. There were whole sects who spent their lives doing whatever they thought it took to get a Keyblade, just to look better. Remember that there weren’t Heartless or anything then. It’s purely a status symbol. But around the time I was a baby Heartless did start popping up, taken from the future via the Book of Prophecies or what the fuck ever. And the Foretellers realized they had all this free labor to do the fighting. To gather the light.”

Ienzo leaned forward. The same attentive stare that Even had given him.

The words were pouring out of him, half memory and half revelation. “But of course all the rich snobs aren’t going to do jack shit. And the people that were willing got their asses kicked, or straight up died, and a lot of them had families of their own. But kids, you know, have strong light. What better way to get people to hand them over then feed them a bunch of propaganda about honor? And if they were poor, a promise of three hots and a cot?”

“And that’s what happened to you.”

Demyx nodded. “Yeah. I don’t even really remember my parents, at all. I used to have a picture of them, but… well. It’s lost now."

Ienzo took a moment to digest all this information. “So you were really on your own.”

“Yeah. The older kids would kind of look after the little ones until they were big enough to go out on their own. If you were lucky, you became part of a fighting party and made friends. I was part of a couple, but there’s all the typical drama and infighting and cliquishness. There was a lot of fighting. A lot of fighting.”

“Your parents couldn’t visit you?”

“I’m not really sure,” Demyx said. “I visited them, in my spare time. It was my mom who taught me music. But they... you know, it was hard for the two of them to get by, and they moved around a lot. Eventually... I couldn't find them again."

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” He sighed. “I’m sure they had their reasons.”

“I also know what it means to be abandoned.” Ienzo whispered it.

“It really righteously sucks.” He tried to inject some humor into the words, but it fell flat. “Oh boy. Haven’t had to unpack that in a while. Yikes.”

““Yikes” is right.”

He laughed, a stifled, awkward sound, and touched his brow. “I always get thrown to the wolves.” The laughter dissolved.

“Let yourself feel it.”

The pain was sharp and sudden, like a stab in the back. His chest and stomach were in knots. Ienzo pulled him close. “I feel sick,” Demyx said through his teeth. “These fucking -- These people are supposed to care about us. Why don’t they?”

“I don’t know. I don’t…” Ienzo’s voice wavered, losing its previous professionalism. Demyx tried to fight off and compartmentalize it automatically. It took strength to let it batter him. Reminded him too much of drowning in memory. Ienzo was shaking, crying quietly.

After a while, he went from taking the pain to treading it. Demyx’s breathing grew more even. Despite raw eyes, he felt a sliver of relief. They lay down by the dying fire. “Why do people cry?” Demyx asked.

“Well, interesting thing about that. When certain emotions rise too high in the body, tears are produced to return the body to homeostasis. Which explains the numbness while crying, and the sense of relief afterwards. Why is it you ask?”

“Just… wondered,” he said slowly.

“Do you feel a little better?”

He laughed weakly. “I kind of don’t want to talk about feelings right now. If it’s all the same.”

“Yes… I am tired.”

Demyx looked up at the ceiling. It really was lovely, even in the semidarkness; the marble dome was interspersed with stained glass depicting the founding of Radiant Garden. Before he could study them much closer, he saw Ienzo in his peripheral, watching him curiously and also warily. He forced a smile.

“We should go. It’ll be getting cold soon,” Ienzo said.

He thought about this for a moment. Wrapped up like this in myriad blankets and layers, he was hardly cold. The look in Ienzo’s eyes had softened. A little shiver that had nothing to do with cold passed through him. “I… I want to stay a little longer,” Demyx said. “It’s nice here by the fire.”

Ienzo sat up a little. “If you would like to be alone with me, you need only ask.”

Another chill, deeper this time. He touched Ienzo’s face. “Isn’t it kind of messed up though? That after this whole deep and complex conversation I want to--”

“I’m sure there’s some kind of deeper reasoning behind it, but frankly right now I do not care,” he said, and kissed him.

It seemed like it had been so long since they’d kissed like this. Demyx pulled him still closer and slid his hands under the layers of sweaters to find skin. Ienzo certainly didn’t feel cold anymore. He straddled him. His long bangs brushed against Demyx’s throat. He brushed his lips against Ienzo’s jaw. His hands fumbled oddly at Demyx’s sides. He started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Demyx asked.

“There is altogether too much fabric. It feels like fondling potatoes.”

“Oh my god.” He laughed too, some of the tension easing. “Maybe we should continue this in your room?”

“I should… I should like that.”

They ended up having to sneak past everyone like they were teenagers and not fully consenting adults. It was probably the most normal moment of their relationship yet. Once in the relative privacy of Ienzo’s room, he stripped quickly and curled under the covers. “Cold. Cold. Cold.”

Ienzo rolled his eyes. “Not exactly erotic, is it?”

“You want erotic, come back to me when it’s not negative eight thousand degrees in here.”

“I highly doubt it’s that cold.” But Demyx saw him flinch when he removed his sweater. Ienzo crawled in next to him and shivered. “There’s months more of this yet.”

“God--makes me want to scream.”

“Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to contain yourself and be very quiet. Where were we?” He kissed him. Demyx felt vaguely tingly, and weirdly nervous. It had been a while but not that long.

He brought Ienzo under him and tugged the blanket up over his shoulders to keep them warm. Demyx reached down to brush the hair out of his eyes. “Are you still cold?”

He shook his head.

“What do you want to do?”

He blushed. Hesitated. Then, barely above a whisper, “Make love to me.”

Demyx nodded very seriously. He shifted slightly, easing Ienzo’s knees apart and settling between them. He tried not to will his hands to shake. He could already feel the tip of Ienzo’s dick brushing against his stomach. Demyx felt completely weak. He touched the insides of his thighs and heard Ienzo stifle a small sound in his throat.

“You can tell me what feels good and what doesn’t, you know,” he said softly. “I can’t read your mind.”

“It would be so much easier if you could.”

He chuckled. “Having someone else in your head isn’t all that much fun.” He traced circles on Ienzo’s inner thigh. “It’s right there, isn’t it?” He responded by kissing Demyx deeply. They barely knew each other’s bodies. Demyx wanted to explore him, to make him feel good. He reached up against the soft skin of Ienzo’s side. “And here?” He leaned down to kiss it and gratified in the small noise Ienzo made before he quickly covered his own mouth. “I love watching you.”

Ienzo ran his hand through Demyx’s hair, letting it catch at the nape of his neck. He touched the same spot on Demyx’s chest, delicate and light, and he couldn’t hide his change in expression. “I thought so,” he said. His hand drifted farther down, between Demyx’s legs, his touch light and maddening. Demyx kissed him.

He was completely breathless. “I think maybe now is a good time to--”

“It’s in the same place. The lube.” There was a sort of rawness in his eyes Demyx had never seen before. It was really turning him on. It was less awkward this time to put the lube on his fingers and to position themselves. “I just want you to be comfortable.” There was not quite as much resistance when Demyx slipped a finger into him. Ienzo barely flinched. “You okay?”

“It’s a lot less tight.”

“That happens,” he said. The second finger also went in fairly easily.

Ienzo laughed a little.

“You’re cracking up today,” Demyx said.

“Kind of an inside joke, with myself,” he said. “You’ve helped me change so much. Of course it would be there too.”

Demyx snickered. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a weird guy?”

“Sometimes a little weird is okay.”

“I think it’s kinda hot,” he said. He withdrew his fingers and lubed himself up. There was still so much vulnerability in this, even as it became familiar. Ienzo shifted his hips forward slightly. This probably wasn’t the best position, but Demyx liked being able to see his face and kiss him. He gripped Ienzo’s thigh and eased in. The amount of friction was incredible and he gasped out loud. Ienzo’s hand, at his hip, curled a little. He absolutely had to move. He tried to be gentle. “Slower? Faster?”

“Slow is good.”

“...I was hoping you’d say that.” It wasn’t long before he could feel the knot in his stomach begin to tighten. He started to thrust with a little less restraint. The reaction was immediate; he heard Ienzo gasp. “Is that it? There?”

“Yes,” he whispered. He started bucking up against him.

The tension inside of him was getting stronger. He may have been more pent up but he really didn’t want to come first. This was about Ienzo. But he couldn’t fight it. Everything went dizzy for a moment, unfocused. The high of it blunted his senses. He eased his weight off Ienzo and noticed his trembling hands, the stickiness at his hips. “You okay?” Ienzo asked shakily.

“Dizzy.” Demyx lay down next to him. “I think we came at the same time.”

“Is that unusual?” He reached for a handkerchief to wipe off his belly. He wrinkled his nose.

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

Mess dealt with, Ienzo wrapped his arms around Demyx’s waist and rested with him. “So people really just do this whenever they want?”

He snorted. “You don’t need, like, a special occasion to have sex.”

“Some things still seem rather bizarre to me.”

“Yeah. I know what you mean.”

He brought the blankets up more tightly around them. “How old were you? The first time?”

Demyx blew a raspberry. “Seventeen. There was a guy in the Dandelions. We went on a few missions together. We’re all thinking, like, the end of the world is coming, and post-fight adrenaline plus teenage hormones is hard to resist. Yeah. But we weren’t like… in love, or anything. He was the only one I slept with. Before you, I mean. Why is it you ask?”

Ienzo shrugged. “Merely curious. So there was no one in the Organization?”

He raised an eyebrow. “ In the Organization?”

“While we were in the Organization.”

He shook his head. “Nah. I know some of the others tried that to feel something. I didn’t really care though.”

Ienzo nodded and lay back down. His eyes were bright. “I should like to take a nap,” he said.

“I’m getting good at wearing you out,” he teased.

“Amongst other things.” He yawned.

#beyond this existence #demyx #ienzo #zemyx #demyx/ienzo

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aliceslantern · 5 years

Text

Beyond This Existence, Epilogue

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

“...That should do it. You’ve got to be more careful. I’ve got other things to do. You know?”

The little kid let go of his friend’s hand and flexed his now-healed knee. “Whatever,” he mumbled, clearly trying to hide the fact that there were still tears in his eyes. Then, a little more shyly, “Thanks.”

“Just don’t become a repeat patient.”

Demyx watched the kid and his friend walk away, to carry on with their lives like they hadn’t just had one of the worst wipeouts he’d ever seen. Skateboards had come to Radiant Garden. They were popular. And they didn’t go particularly well with the rough cobble roads. He and Aerith had their hands full tending to all the different myriad wounds. But better skateboards, he decided, than Heartless. There were still some around, here and there, but they grew less numerous by the day.

He dusted off his hands. It was a lovely spring day, and he hadn’t yet got a chance to actually enjoy it. He took out his gummiphone and texted Ienzo. Just set 3 different kids’ broken bones. I’ll be back in 10 if you want to grab lunch.

I was about to ask you the same, Ienzo wrote back.

Their relationship had deepened over the past year. Changed. Of course, the fact that neither of them were ending up in life-threatening situations did lessen the stakes significantly. The transition from dramatic to mundane had been a learning experience. They’d learned to spend time apart, and to pursue their own projects. Nothing would ever be quite normal, but this was about as close as it would get.

Demyx took his time passing through town. Now that he was getting to know people, it no longer felt so alien. Being seen and being known no longer were so terrifying. He wasn’t an Organization member, or a Dandelion. He was Just Demyx, and that was enough.

He saw another small herd of skateboarders, but noted with relief that these ones had adequate safety gear.

The castle was still a work in progress. They were all busy with their own goings-on, and it was huge; keeping the place clean and habitable would have been a tough job for many more people than just the six of them. Every now and again the committee would lend help and supplies, but it was the sort of place where if one thing was fixed, another broke.

Ienzo was, as always, in the library, though at least he was in front of a window this time, and not holed up in a dark alcove. For a moment, Demyx saw him first, gently shifting blueprints and papers to and fro. Honestly, seeing him working so earnestly on something he cared about was… pretty sexy.

“Baby, are you a library book? Because I’d like to check you out.”

Ienzo’s expression remained completely deadpan, but there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “You’ve used that line before.”

Demyx gave him a kiss. “You been here all morning?”

“More or less.” He started rolling up the delicate print paper. “I wanted to take another look at it before I show it to the committee. Incorporating Dilan’s suggestions was necessary, but now I suspect I’m developing carpal tunnel.” He shook out his hand. “But I suppose you can fix that for me. It is quite convenient to have my own on-call physician.”

“Even would murder you if he heard you call me that.” Demyx took the offending hand and cast a minor anti-inflammatory spell. “I’m not a doctor. I’m a healer. In training.”

“I think he’s a touch jealous.”

“I don’t see why he should be. He doesn’t have to chase kids around just to get them to wear helmets.”

Ienzo put the plans in their cardboard tube and sighed. “I don’t think I’ll ever be fully happy with it. It’s been an exercise in creativity, if anything.”

“Well. For what it’s worth, I think it’s great.”

He stacked the books neatly. Botany, architecture, spiritualism. Ienzo took off his reading glasses and set them aside. “In a way, this feels as though it’s my firstborn,” he said softly. “It’s a complete end to this part of my life. Now I’m to head into the unknown.”

“Isn’t it exciting?”

Ienzo shrugged. “I’d say nerve-wracking. Shall we get lunch? I could use some fresh air.”

“There’s a new noodle place I wanted to try out. I can’t remember the last time I had some half-decent udon. Think you can spare an hour or two on me?”

“Maybe. If you behave.”

On their way they passed Aeleus, who was diligently painting over the pale green walls in a pale blue that brought more light into the space. Of them all, he was the most diligent in the repairs.

“We’re going out,” Ienzo said. “Would you like anything for lunch?”

He nodded, barely breaking brush stroke.

“I guess we’ll surprise you,” Demyx said.

The spring flowers were just coming into bloom. Seeing all the color after so much gray stillness made the world feel completely new. Ienzo sneezed. “Yes, my favorite time of year,” he said dryly.

“If you took your allergy medicine like I told you, you wouldn’t be such a wreck.”

Ienzo rolled his eyes.

They grabbed their lunch and sat at an outside table. Town was constantly growing. It seemed like every week something new popped up--new shops, new homes. The committee was constantly spread thin, though it seemed like mostly everyone was willing to give a few hours of time here and there. More and more people were returning.

“It probably won’t ever be like it was, but it certainly does give me a kind of hope,” Ienzo said.

“It’s grown on me,” Demyx said. “I like it here.”

“It does feel rather more like home than it used to. Though I suppose it’s more the people than anything.”

Demyx smiled a little.

“If you were able to travel freely again, would you?” he asked.

Demyx considered this. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “I’ve seen a lot in my time. Kind of enough. But I haven’t seen the worlds when they’re at peace. What about you?”

“Part of me says yes, absolutely. But the other part…” He shrugged. “You’ve got to either hide or assimilate to maintain world order, which does take a certain amount of work.”

“What’s the point of world order? What happens if it isn’t up-kept? All these years, and nobody could give me a good answer.”

Ienzo furrowed his brows. The noodle between his chopsticks broke in half and disappeared into the broth. “I’m not entirely sure,” he said. “Perhaps it warrants some investigation.”

“Maybe you can work on that next.”

“Maybe,” he said cheerfully. “Though--this world is barely stabilizing.”

“Last time I talked to Cid, he said that they’re going to have to start planning some kind of government,” Demyx said. “Even though there hasn’t been any real crime or anything, someone’s still gotta step up.” He scraped at the bottom of the bowl and found there was nothing left but a few leeks. Healing was hungry work.

“I’d heard. They’d called Ansem down a couple of days ago. They offered him the job. He was once sage king, after all.”

Demyx whistled. “How did that go?”

“He turned them down. Said he didn’t want power, and didn’t deserve it. He did say he would serve as advisor to whoever ends up in the position, should they want his advice. Cid and Leon are going to organize a town hall. And then eventually there will be elections.”

“I wonder who it’ll be.” He grimaced. “Wait. Does that mean they’ll have to live with us?”

Ienzo chuckled. “Wouldn’t that shake things up. For some reason I don’t think that would go over too well. If you haven’t noticed, we’re all just a touch insular.”

“Have I noticed. They’re barely accepting me. ”

“Oh, don’t be too hard on yourself. I think Ansem rather likes having you around. It makes him feel young.”

Demyx hesitated. Ienzo was smiling, but there seemed something polite about it. Not so genuine. “How are things between you two?” he asked cautiously.

“Improving,” he said. “All the while improving. There’s more bitterness in me than I thought. But I assure you I am working through it. We both are, and we’re both willing, which is what matters.”

“You don’t have to forgive him to love him.”

“I know. But I feel as though I need to, to move on.” He set his chopsticks aside. “Are you still hungry?”

Demyx sighed. “Always,” he muttered. “Aerith said eventually my body will adjust to using so much magic so frequently. I beg to differ, though.”

“Are you still enjoying it?”

He considered. Truthfully, all those hours and days and nights of studying, then coupled with the home visits she’d took him on, didn’t always necessarily feel pleasant . He’d seen more gross things than he thought possible for a relatively peaceful town. Been puked on. Bled on. More than once he’d ended up having to stay out all night, finally collapsed into bed, only to get a call that he was needed. And yet. “I feel like I’m doing what I’m meant to. And I don’t have to give up music, either.”

“You can be passionate about more than one thing, you know,” Ienzo said lightly.

He was right. But still, after feeling so much apathy for so long in the Organization, having the motivation and the willingness to heal and create made him a touch anxious.

“Shall we head back?”

“Yeah. Think I need a nap. Fucking skateboarders.”

“In another life you’d be one of them,” Ienzo said.

“I hate that you’re right.”

----

The egg whites Demyx was whisking didn’t want to fluff up right. Despite the tremendous ache in his arm. Sometimes he regretted helping Ienzo cook, because Ienzo always gave him the jobs he himself hated. Like grating cheese. Or, in this case, whipping meringue, even though they had a perfectly good electric mixer that could do it for them.

“How does it look?” Ienzo asked. He peeked into the bowl. “Almost. Not quite.”

Demyx groaned and switched arms.

There was a vaguely pinched look to his face. Demyx knew he’d been waiting a long time for this day, so he really should be acting like less of a pain in the ass. Still. It really was hurting. “...You still anxious?”

Ienzo took the bowl from him and started to put the topping on the lemon pie. “I realize it’s illogical, but that doesn’t make it go away. ”

“They’re going to love it. I know they will.”

“Part of me feels like I’m rubbing salt in just-healed wounds.”

Demyx wrapped his arms around his waist. Every muscle in Ienzo’s body was fraught with tension. “They think about what happened all the time,” he said in a low voice. “This is closure. And you know closure can hurt a little sometimes.”

“I suppose.” He sighed. “Would you mind letting go of me? I’ve got to put the pie back in.”

Dinner now was far different than it used to be. There was no more dumb hierarchy. It was easier than ever before to talk to everyone. He felt more at ease. More at home. Dilan found great amusement when Demyx regaled him with the day’s injuries.

“Kids always have some new way of hurting themselves,” he said. He chuckled. “For your generation it was frisbees. We must have confiscated dozens of the damn things when the castle was open to the public. Still, must be odd being on the other side of such gap for the first time.”

“...I guess so. You know. I still don’t feel grown up.” He’d had a birthday recently, his twenty-third, and yet every day he went out to help people he always felt like he was pretending to be mature.

“Truthfully, one never does,” Even said. “It took me long enough to come to terms with it.”

The food was good, just like it always was, though Demyx noticed Ienzo ate far less than he normally was wont to. He reached beneath the table and squeezed his hand. He cleared the empty plates and was back in time to watch Ienzo explain his plan in full.

“I’m sure you all know by now what I’ve been working on,” he said. “I’d like to present it to you now, before I turn it over to the committee for approval.” He got up and retrieved the roll of plans and his written works. He smoothed out the blueprints in front of them. “It’s a garden. For those who fell.”

Planning the memorial had taken months of meticulous research and engineering. Ienzo was so thorough and thoughtful in the way he’d drafted every last blade of grass. Everything had a history, a symbol, a meaning to it. He’d chosen several sets of blooms, one for each type of loss incurred during Radiant Garden’s struggle with darkness--those killed by the initial fall, those who became Heartless, and lastly, those who had fallen because of their research. He’d chosen the breeds for their symbolism, and for how well they would keep and take root. Each flower would represent one soul lost; at the back of this garden he imagined a wall with all their names, as well as books with more information about each person lost.

Seeing it brought tears to Demyx’s eyes, and he could tell the others were moved too, though more stoically. Ansem reached over the table and took Ienzo’s hand. “That’ll do.”

----

The summer consisted of impossibly long days and longer nights. All of them at the castle did their part, and the committee helped too, when they had the time. Demyx found himself making better friends with them. It made the weeks of soreness and sunburn worth it. Moreso, to see the weight of guilt finally ease from Ienzo’s shoulders. To see him bloom.

Demyx was happy, probably for the first time in his whole life. He had a home now, friends, and a boyfriend he adored. Yet he couldn’t help but shake the feeling that something still hurt inside.

It came to him one August night. A crash of thunder woke him up from an aqueous sleep. Ienzo stirred but remained deeply asleep, thoroughly worn out from the long day in the sun (not to mention their erstwhile lovemaking). Demyx couldn’t help but shake the feeling he’d woken up from a nightmare, though what exactly he couldn’t say. He went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face.

Trauma was a lot like dud firecrackers--they didn’t go off until they wanted to.

He went to crawl back in bed, but the light of his gummiphone caught on a sheaf of papers, neatly laid on top of a couple of volumes of the apprentices’ research. He reached for it. For a second his head swam as the old runes came into better focus.

Demyx hadn’t really looked at this thing in nearly a year, not since he’d regained his memory. He’d been too worried about Ienzo, and then after all that, busy enough that it faded to the background. The paper crinkled faintly. He could just barely feel a cool, rainy breeze against his overheated skin.

“Dem?” Ienzo mumbled sleepily. “You okay?”

He shut the light. “Just too warm. Go back to sleep, babe.”

----

He could not stop thinking about it. Through days planting in the garden. Through tending to more skateboard injuries. Through a small party that the committee had invited him and Ienzo to. Through it all.

On their first day off in weeks, rather than rest as he’d planned, he took the papers and went down to the old study room. Bits of various projects Ienzo was working on sat in neat, organized piles. Demyx took the cushion off the chair and sat on the floor, the score in front of him. The sunlight was so warm it burned.

They stared at each other.

He opened the first page. He remembered when this paper was new and soft still. Struggling to keep a ruler level to draw in all those lines, hundreds and hundreds of them. The slightly bitter smell of the ink. The weight of his first sitar--lighter, smaller, the soft grain of it.

He’d made progress, but he hadn’t fully processed it. He’d seen his past as something foreign and separate from himself.

If the words of it were hard to read, then playing it was next to impossible. He tried to summon Arpeggio. His hand trembled. It came at last, hitting his thigh with something akin to a smack. “I know,” he said to it.

Words were heavy, but Demyx had never been much of a writer. There should have been something interesting in seeing his old compositions. Nostalgia, or even embarrassment at how amateur they were. He felt none of these things.

His younger self’s emotions bled from each movement, each less contained than the last, reflected in the odd meters and rhythms scattered all throughout, the awkward keys. To play it felt like being cornered. Like having his heart ripped in two. He’d felt so much pain and sadness and fear, but above all, stark loneliness. This diary hadn’t been so much of a composition as a cry for help.

He hadn’t thought he’d make it out of the war alive, after all.

But he had.

Demyx had, and so much more besides. That was the important thing.

As he played, he felt the heartbeat of it. The strings of the present and past wove together, and once he was through with the old score, he pushed it aside, and began to work on the future.

#beyond this existence #demyx #ienzo #zemyx #demyx/ienzo #that's all folks!

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