#he doesnt have a clue about fandom but he assured me i wasnt coming off as an asshole 😅

[jen-with-a-pen]

If people aren't comfortable reblogging fics to their blog (which I am not, due to a personal history of being doxxed and humiliated to my irl friends and family), are comments sufficient enough engagement or would you rather that reader not engage with your work at all?

I feel like that came out sounding passive aggressive but I truly mean it as a genuine question and am just not sure how to rework it to sound less snarky! I see this discourse on and off from different fic writers and respect both opinions and think everyone should be able to curate interaction with their fics as they see fit.

Hi, anon.

I've been thinking carefully on how to respond to this. I can tell you're not trying to come off as snarky– which i say as someone who can't read tone for shit most of the time and whose own tone can come off aggressive or bitchy when I don't mean it to be.

I'm gonna address your ask as thoroughly as I can, if that's cool. Sorry if it's a long response. I'll put a cut in so I don't interrupt feeds ✂️

First, I want to pose a question to your question, which I mean genuinely with no spite whatsoever: why are you on Tumblr if you're not reblogging or don't even reblog?

As I've stated in other replies to the post I made a few weeks back, from the way I see it, Tumblr is literally built upon the foundation of sharing creations and content. There is no dead-set algorithm here like there is for Instagram or TikTok. Sharing is, quite fucking literally, caring here. We are able to form communities of all sizes because we share things. Reblogging is essential to the upkeep, and quite frankly the existence, of fandom and communities. Without sharing, our communities crumble and become ruins. We are actively seeing this as we speak: many mutuals and authors I follow are starting to quit writing due to passive, demanding consumption patterns and 0 engagement.

I know you probably know this, but I thought I'd restate it for answer's sake.

To answer the meat of your ask, I will pull from both personal experience and mutuals' experiences and input.

In my own personal opinion, if you are solely commenting on fics and are not engaging in anything else (no likes, no reblogs, etc.) then I personally think that Tumblr is not the site you should be on and, frankly, you should go sign up for AO3 if that's all you're going to do.

And I mean this earnestly. If all you want to do for engagement is commenting, then AO3 needs you because sharing does NOT affect authors nearly as much over there as it does here. In fact comments on AO3 are the literal equivalent to reblog on Tumblr: we don't get any and when we do it's like finding an oasis in a never ending desert.

Now in terms of what mutuals and other authors have said on the matter, it seems the consensus is that commenting without reblogging is a case-by-case basis. I'm going to quote a mutual of mine here:

"...if someone is commenting on my work but not reblogging… I'd say it's case by case. If it's just MY fics they aren’t reblogging, then it'd be a problem, but if they don’t reblog ANY [fics] I'd be more okay."

Another mutuals also put it this way:

"... I feel like there *is* both sides in this sense; yes comments are nice and engaging even though they aren't the preferred and most helpful way to boost writers..."

I feel like both of them put it into words where I struggled to. I will also say that I do agree with the point being that if you're not gonna reblog ANYTHING– no art, no content, no photos, no other fics, nothing– AND your profile adheres to the guidelines set forth in basic Tumblr etiquette (not looking like a bot and not a minor) then sure, comment away.

The verdict, in summary with my opinion and mutuals': it depends on your behavior and your interactions with other works and content.

I hate the word content but I couldn't think of another one.

But, my question still stands: why are you on Tumblr when you don't even participate in the basic fundamental function of this site?

I also wanted to take the time to address the other part of your ask regarding the doxxing and people finding out your identity.

It has been very widely known for (close to) two decades now that Tumblr is the place where you can have an anonymous identity. Truly. I've been on here for the collective half of the last decade and have been on the Internet for a little more than half my life, now, and Tumblr and fandom are literally the biggest and best places where you can be someone else. You can be completely anonymous.

The common denominator, however, is you.

The amount of information you have on your blog is what you choose to put on it. If you state your real name, your state and city, have one of those (imo stupid) carrd things or whatever, then honey– and I mean this in the nicest way possible, truly– that is on you. I know for a fact (from good and bad experiences) that you have all of the power in the world to annonymize yourself while still maintaining yourself on the Internet. That make sense?

A couple of mutuals made very excellent points regarding this:

"...I have a best friend irl who has Tumblr and is so close to the fandoms I'm in, and she doesn't know I write here. I am anonymous on here. I'm suprised she hasnt connected the dots because my aesthetics are the same in real life..."

"...I personally think its pretty easy to be anonymous on tumblr. Especially since usually all we ask is you have that you aren’t a minor at the top of your blog..."

"...it's really easy to be anonymous on the internet [...] you can be an ENTIRELY different person on the internet..."

From that last mutual, I'll paraphrase and go off of another point they made: the fact that you do want to participate and comment negates your ENTIRE arguement because someone– anyone– can find you and your blog through said comment(s).

Your digital footprint is what you leave behind. So if you have your city and state and grade and real name and all this other shit in your blog or carrd or whatever, then you are the only one who is responsible for having put said information out there.

Hell, I've been mutuals with some people going on 2-3 YEARS at this point and the only other things they know about me is my state, general city vicinity, my cat, and what I do for a living. That's it. And we span from early twenties to married with a kid or two.

We are in charge of what we share and I implore you– as someone with a certification in legal information technology– to please educate yourself on your Internet privacy and digital footprint. Please take the time to think about your actions and the information you have online. I STILL do this to this day, even after getting certified and being on the Internet for half my life.

I am sorry that you've gotten doxxed in the past. Truly, I am. It's a horrible act and I hope you never have to experience that again. Please know I am not being dismissive of that nor trying to blame you for said acts.

But it all comes down to you at the end of the day. In general, it's you, your actions, and the consequences of your actions. And if you happen to be a minor, then I strongly urge you to rethink your decisions and maybe step away from social media and utilize critical thinking in order to asses your situation and who you surround yourself with, both online and offline. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I was 14– fuck, even when I was 18.

And I mean it when I say AO3 might suit you more than Tumblr. If any fandom site has more capabilities to be anonymous than Tumblr itself, it's AO3.

Anyways, I think that's all I have to say for you. My DMs and ask box are always open and I am open to more commentary on the matter and related ones so long as it is civil and respectful. I refuse to stop having this conversation.

Thank you for listening ❤️

#jen speaks #commentary #ask #answer #long post #long response #i hope i addressed this enough for you anon #and others who kight have similar questions #this conversation is LONG overdue and i want to spearhead the effort to try snd build back fandom and engagement between reader and writer #anyways #i read this a million times and even had my boyfriend's input lmaooo #he doesnt have a clue about fandom but he assured me i wasnt coming off as an asshole 😅 #im hoping i can continue the conversation with yall bc once im passionate theres no turning back #and idk about yall #but it fucking sucks seeing your friends lose interest in their hobbies and you look up to them and i hate seeing them so defeated #its an epidemic

[janiedean]

do you think readers should treat edmure/roslin wedding night as rape? i saw a discourse about that saying that she was crying and she wouldn't want to have sex at the red wedding anyway, so it means edmure made her? and i don't know what to think now. i like edmure and just want him and roslin to be happy D:

.......... god what is this fandom turning into *sigh* all right, let’s... unpack... this....

point one: it’s... I think... obvious... that roslin wasn’t crying because of *edmure*, she was crying because she knew that everyone was going to get slaughtered during her wedding night????

point two: like... roslin crying is something that should set the reader off about how Something Is Not Right At This Wedding same as the fact that the food they get offered is very low-par for such a wedding (who the fuck gives THIN LEEK SOUP at a wedding feast??) and so on, like that chapter before the doors close is an escalation of warning signals that Things Are Going To Go Badly Very Soon and roslin being in tears is one of them, it has zero to do with whether she wanted to have sex with edmure or not;

point three: .... okay, she most likely didn’t want to have sex during the red wedding, but... do y’all think... that... in retrospective he would have wanted to have sex with a wife he actually liked against all odds while her relatives and the lannisters slaughtered his sister, his nephew, the army he was part of and basically all of the family he had left bar lysa and brynden?????? like are we serious????

point four: roslin was most likely under direct orders to not make edmure understand what was going on/to make him think that if she was distressed it was out of nerves or smth because like hell walder frey would have wanted him, you know, noticing that he was about to unleash a mass slaughter on his sister, nephew and allies so like.......... unless we go and say that there’s a basic question of consent in all arranged marriages, but I thought that was implicit and if we look at it in context you can’t go and treat them as rape period because to the people involved it wouldn’t be considered as such and wouldn’t be taken as such, saying that he shouldn’t have had sex with her when she most likely would have tried to make sure he would lest having her father murder her the next day too just because... is..... making utterly black and white a situation that is not so;

point five: it’s not that he made her or she made him. they were supposed to consummate the wedding because that’s what it’s supposed to happen in westeros during arranged marriages/noble marriages, he had no idea of what was going on and was actually relieved he ended up with someone he liked (mind: edmure also wasn’t really into this idea of having to make up for robb’s fuck-ups and everyone on his side knew it, like let’s not decide now that edmure volunteered to patch shit up with the freys offering his own hand), roslin didn’t want the rw to happen in the first place and was crying because of that and regardless she did like him, roslin most likely wouldn’t have told him she didn’t want it/that she was crying for anything other than nerves (have you seen her father come on).... and we’re saying that *he* raped her? when he also had no fucking clue of what was going on? because I assure you if he knew people were downstairs slitting his sister’s throat he wouldn’t have gone through with it. like, putting it like that is just... ignoring.... every.... single... bit of context in that setting jfc;

point six: the fact that when they show up in affc they actually want to be with each other, that jaime in order to get edmure’s cooperation promises him that she will join him in casterly with their baby where edmure is supposed to be a hostage and can successfully use the trebuchet baby bluff in order to get edmure to cooperate (let’s not even go there, it was 100% bluffing and we all know that) and that roslin actually prays that it’s a girl because if it’s a boy then her father would kill edmure as they’d have a male tully heir and edmure would be useless should say all about the fact that a) they liked each other regardless of everything, b) he doesn’t blame her for the demise of, uh, HIS FAMILY PRETTY MUCH, c) he doesn’t blame her for being forced to go through that marriage and not warning him because her relatives wanted her to and she had no choice, d) she actually doesn’t want him to die, e) that they want to be together so like..... maybe people should actually start avoiding looking that deep into this specific ship because the point is that they like each other when according to all reason they should hate each other (she should resent being forced to marry him and he should hate her because her family murdered his own wow) and instead they’re basically a reverse tyrion/sansa situation (or a direct ned and cat parallel situation) in which they actually do want to be with each other regardless of the massive fucked-up circumstances they were forced together in, and instead they should discuss... like..... actual rape that happened in the books that is always brushed off as something else and like... actual abusive relationships that people like to dismiss as consensual and so on instead of trying to get discourse of out this one specific instance.

two cents, but honestly, I had to see people completely dismissing, idk, TYRION AND THEON’S RAPE BY PROXY (and tbqh theon’s in adwd isn’t even by proxy most likely) because apparently if it happens to guys it’s not that never mind having to hear that jeynep deserved it because she was mean to arya once upon a time never mind absolutely ignoring what happening to jeynep when she was in LF’s brothel never mind saying that brienne risking to be raped throughout her entire arc since she shows up in acok is ‘nothing’ and she has an easy life, and let’s not even get into what The Cersei Issue Which I Am Not So Insane To Discuss Lest People Tell Me I Need To Chill (and it’s not just We Know What but I’m not touching that discourse with a ten foot pole anymore) but the problem is edmure and roslin? and it’s his fault when it was his sister, nephew, army and friends getting mass slaughtered downstairs?

honestly, miss me with this hypocrisy. and if I were you I’d rest in peace, edmure and roslin don’t look like goners to me and someone has to make sure house tully doesn’t die out by the end of the series and it’s most likely not gonna be brynden. *shrug*

#va bene va bene va bene in verità #rape cw #ch: edmure tully #ch: roslin frey #a song of ice and fire for ts #janie writes meta #are we seriously fucking going THERE #i can't even #per esse na fandom basata sui libri sicuro laggente non sa leggere diomio #red wedding for ts #blaaaarghhh #Anonymous #ask post