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crookedmook-blog · 16 days

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HH S2 Vox Headcanons and Predictions

I wanted to sketch these out but my hands aren't working with me today so here's this instead. I have lots of self-indulgent HCs about Vox but I wanted to record my predictions of what will actually be shown in season 2.

Vox will make sure every citizen in Hell knows Alastor was nearly killed by Adam, who was then killed by the "filthy janitor" who is supposed to be Alastor's subordinate. He would be an idiot to not take advantage of that. He probably plays it on every TV channel at regular intervals just to really rub it in.

Vox, being a powerful arrogant psychopath, naturally fell for the first equally powerful arrogant psychopath he met, Alastor. He probably justified his feelings to himself with rationale like "Of course I would be fond of him, he actually gets how the world works!" So his ego was VERY bruised when the only person he sees as his equal rejected him. He truly does wish death on Alastor just so he can stop thinking about that damn Radio Demon. He would much rather be lonely for all of eternity than swallow his pride and make up with Alastor.

Vox is not a sadist unless Alastor is the one getting hurt. He generally regards everyone else with a feeling of "You're not important enough for me to care about how you feel unless it directly affects me." He and Alastor regard other demons in very similar ways; the main difference is that Alastor wants to control them with fear and Vox finds it more satisfying and effective to control people with his charisma.

We saw in the finale of the first season that Vox seems pretty open in front of the Vs, but people seem to forget that he uses his charisma to manipulate them as much as he does with anyone else in episode 2. He'll let them see his rage and sadistic ecstasy, but he will NEVER be vulnerable in front of them. No one gets to see him being weak.

He's not actually all that fond of Valentino. He doesn't care that Val is an abuser, but he would drop Val in a second if a better replacement came along. After all, babysitting Val takes up a lot of time and energy he could be using on more important matters, though he does admittedly enjoy the sex. He probably thinks Val's looks and ability to trick demons into soul contracts are his only redeeming qualities.

He likes Velvette more. Not enough to see her as an equal, but enough to respect her as much as he can respect anyone who isn't Alastor. She's proven competent, consistently useful, and even a fun conversational partner.

He will definitely meet Charlie at some point and will shower her with superficial praise. He knows he can't physically dominate the demonic royalty, but he absolutely believes he can slowly bring them under his control with words alone. He may try to negotiate some kind of business deal with her just so he has an excuse to speak to her regularly, both to keep an eye on her and to give himself more chances to ingratiate himself to her.

#Hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel vox #Vox hazbin hotel #Vox #Headcanons #Predictions

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dagbert-endless · 8 hours

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"Go and ask your mom where's she's put it," said Charlie. "I can't. She gets really angry if I wake her up on Sunday morning." Benjamin began to bite his lip. Luckily before Benjamin could get too upset,

this book is less Midnight For Charlie Bone and more Concern For Benjamin Brown. I know his parents aren't actually abusive or anything but every word I read abut Ben's home life makes me so sad.

"Bring the case up here," said Benjamin, kneeling as close as he dared. Charlie was already trying to fit the first key into the lock. "I think I'll do it down here," he said. "You never know what might come out of it."

They're like 10 and 11 so I understand why their decision making isn't the best, but I still have to wonder why Charlie would be willing to trap himself in a basement with anything that comes out. Take it to the backyard or a park or something.

A woman stood on the step. She had black hair and she wore a dark, sleek-looking coat. Although she'd been half-hidden by an umbrella the last time he saw her, Benjamin had a very good idea who she was. He recognized the red boots. It was one of Charlie's Yewbeam aunts.

Venetiaaaa

"Really?" The aunt raised a long black eyebrow She wasn't smiling anymore. "How strange. He said he was coming to see you." "No, he didn't," said Benjamin. "Oh, and how would you know?" She had lost every ounce of her sweetness. "Because he'd be here if he had," said Benjamin, without a moment's hesitation.

Props to Ben for that one, very clever.

Benjamin watched his friend dash through the gate without bothering to look either way He was bound to be caught by that horrible aunt.

"Maybe I've fooled her," muttered Charlie. He ran up to Filbert Street, turned the corner, and "Got you!" said a voice. Aunt Venetia sank her long nails into Charlie's shoulder.

"Well done, Venetia. One needs young legs to catch a villain." "Villain?" protested Charlie. He glanced at Aunt Venetia's red boots. Her legs weren't so very young. She was cunning, that was all.

That dastardly Venetia, and her cunning trick of... Charlie not looking where he's going. Damn her to hell!

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Charlie. He refused to answer any more questions and eventually Grandma Bone gave up.

That said, Charlie knows the golden rule of being interrogated by the cops Grandma: shut the fuck up.

He didn't find Maisie on the doorstep; instead he found a boy with a twinkling sort of face. He was a little taller than Charlie, his hair was a bright shiny brown, and his eyes almost the same color.

Fidooooo

"Not many,” said Fidelio. "I don't know you all. Some of you are actually talented as well as endowed. What can you do, by the way?"

Btw it sure is um. interesting. that all the Good Kids (aside from Charlie) are the double talented geniuses while the Bad Kids are all apathetic to or shitty at the arts. Like it's not that deep but it's kinda annoying.

That afternoon Charlie set to work on the papers Fidelio had left with him. He soon realized it would be easier to learn the notes while he was sitting at the piano, but he had only pressed a few keys when Grandma Bone burst in, demanding to know why he was making such a racket.

In the evenings Grandma Bone allowed Charlie to open the piano and play the notes Fidelio had given him to memorize. But one day he forgot. He was so hungry he went to the kitchen and began eating bread and butter. After a few bites his head sank to the table and he fell asleep. He woke up to find Grandma Bone holding his head up by his hair. "Music, Charlie!" she barked at him. "No supper until you've done your music."

holy shitttt Grizelda really is just looking to be mad at anything Charlie does

He sat back and, folding his arms across his chest, he murmured, "If my father were here he could teach me. I suppose he was the last person to play this piano properly." Grandma Bone was about to walk away but, all at once, she said, "Your father had a grand piano. It stood in the center of a large, bright room. The only things in the room were the piano and Lyell, your father. Through the long windows there was a view of the lake, but your father never looked at it. He gazed at his music while his fingers found the notes. And he would cast his spell." “And then what happened?" Charlie asked bravely. He could almost hear the click in Grandma Bone as she snapped out of her reverie. "He broke the rules, Charlie. That's what happened. Beware it doesn't happen to you."

This might be the nicest thing Grandma Bone says in this series.

But Maisie said his gift should be used, for fun if nothing else. Eventually. she persuaded Charlie to listen in on a photo of her favorite film stars: Gregory Morton and Lydia Smiley.

Google says Gregory Morton is real, but not Lydia Smiley. Were they both supposed to be fake??

Charlie scurried upstairs to his room, leaving Maisie and Grandma Bone shouting insults at each other. He was about to sit at his desk when he caught sight of Benjamin crossing the road. Charlie waved and opened his window. "What's going on?" called Benjamin. "I haven't seen you for days. I keep ringing your bell but no one will let me in." Charlie lifted the black file. "I've had five hundred questions to do," he told Benjamin. "Only two hundred to go now, and I get a free weekend. How's the you-know-what?" "Bad," said Benjamin. "It's still making a noise. One of your horrible aunts came around. She was pretending to be collecting for charity but I knew her. She was just like the other one, only older." "You didn't let her in?" asked Charlie anxiously. “No. Runner gave his killer growl and she left." "Good old Runner. I've got to get back to work now, Ben." Charlie gave a huge sigh. "See you on Friday when I've finished the questions."

Ok. And Grandma Bone didn't hear them shouting at each other about the case? Guess she and Maisie were really going at it, huh?

#children of the red king #venetia yewbeam #fidelio gunn

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vintagecandyshop · 4 months

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Ok. Hello, can I be unhinged about Willy Wonka for a second?

Yes, this is spurred on by the new Wonka movie, but I haven't seen it-- what I'm reacting to is the way other people talk about that movie. And most of all Willy Wonka as a character and when people try to explain what they think is wrong with Timothy Chalamet's performance. Here's a funny thing about me-- I'm an old movie fan, but I don't usually like movies from the 70s. And yet, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1970) is my all time favorite movie.

I have given the inner psyche of Willy Wonka more thought than any reasonable person should and if I wasn't so sure I could not do him justice I would draw this old movie character more often.

But here's the thing. Everyone in all the world is remembering this movie incorrectly. Let me get this out of the way now. Willy Wonka, the original film adaptation, the one of which everyone bases their understanding of the character on, the one that invented the orange oompa loompas and the boat ride, all that, DID NOT........ kill any children. He didn't even hurt them. He didn't even turn them into weird shapes like the Tim Burton one. Here's the part no one remembers-- There is a scene right before they get on the glass elevator at the end where Charlie asks Willy Wonka something like "what about the other children" because he's a nice boy and Wonka says-- and if you click the link you can see the clip-- " My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves."

Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka, the best one, the only one that matters, was specifically rewritten from Roald dahl's... deeply strange book... to be much more likable for the screen so that he would be seen as a more sympathetic and morally good character that you want Charlie to be friends with. He, at no point, directly harms a child himself nor does anything to trick them into being harmed, and once their parents fail to keep them from behaving erratically in a dangerous factory setting he personally makes sure they're ok and back to normal. Every single child's fate is caused by going against direct orders or suddenly doing something dangerous before they could be stopped. August was called for to stop eating from the river and fell in by himself, Veruca threw a musical tantrum destroying supplies and hitting tables and threw herself down a chute, Mike and Violet ran in and took something before they could be stopped. These things were entirely up to the parents to prevent, not the factory tour guide. In this adaptation, Willy Wonka's wit and calm in the face of panicked parents isn't apathy it's confidence. He knows they'll be fine, and he knows whatever happens to them he can undo, they'll just be given a scare. He wanted to teach the parents a lesson as much as the kids, as evident by how he most talks to the parents once the children begin acting up, but this particular iteration of him did not want to kill kids.

I MEAN-- I could go on, like make no mistake, Willy Wonka is an insane man, morbid and strange, driven to seclusion by bitterness and heartbreak, but above all he loved children. So much so that he believed only a child could run his factory. He idealized their child-like innocence and wonder-- something he was painfully aware he didn't have anymore after years of being taken advantage of. He had become cynical. But honestly I...... feel like all of that becomes pretty evident by just removing the pop cultural mythos of him being some kind of psychopath.

And the movie has all these themes of how capitalism scared away the artist that was Willy Wonka-- how he didn't really care about the money or want the negative attention it brought him, that he tried to share his art and his romantic idealism and all people saw was opportunity and money. But people still refer to him like a symbol of an evil capitalist instead of how the movie highlights a successful artist's struggle in a capitalistic world-- yes, he must make money to make his art, but bitterly so, not ideally so, to him the money and fame was a burden.

It just drives me insane that the movie is so widely interpreted in the most cynical way possible when that's exactly the opposite of what its asking you to do. At the end of the day I just want a T-shirt that says Willy Wonka did nothing wrong istg.

#willy wonka and the chocolate factory #anyways. i'm sorry im always fussing about movies lmao

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inky-duchess · 4 years

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Things Writers can learn from Scream

The Scream Franchise though it does have its flaws is actually one of my favourite film sagas. Wes Craven's features have taught teenagers around the world how to avoid slaughter from a masked fiend but as writers what can we learn from the master of horror himself?

Being Meta

Meta is the termed coined for when a particular work takes an opportunity to comment on its genre. Scream is a whole film that spends its entire run poking fun at the horror genre itself. The characters lampshade clichés (Randy has this role over the main trilogy), insult their foils in similar works (Sidney roasting all other final girls as big breasted bimbos for example) and the whole work is unafraid to really poke fun at itself. The comments on the genre, characters and story itself are refreshing but meta references are like salt, too much spoils any dish. Though the concept of Scream is a meta commentary on the horror genre as a whole, the films know when to quit. There is no point beating the audience over the head with commentary. If your story is a journey, any meta reference is a treat of some McDonald's. If you as a writer, chooses to comment on the genre you're currently writing or want to make comment on real world issues, there is nobody stopping you but coose your battles.

Genre Rules

So Scream runs on a very simple formula. Each film follow a series of rules, lampshading that very horror film/ trilogy + reboot does indeed follow formulas. For example- Rules to succesfully survive a horror movie: Never have sex (virgins usually survive these situations). Never drink or do drugs. You will nearly always die if you say "I'll be right back", "Hello?" or "Who's there?". Sequels- The body count (or volume of action) is always bigger. The death scenes (plot points) are always much more elaborate. Never assume the Killer/villain is defeated. The final chapter of a trilogy- The Killer (antagonist) will be more difficult to defeat. Anyone can die (the stakes will go up). The past will bite you in the ass (the past will catch up with a character or prove to be the undoing of the antagonist). Remakes- Don't fuck with the original. As writers, we have to face the truth- all genres have rules and expectations. Don't clock yourself for being unoriginal if your WIP falls into a category. But that doesn't mean we are constrain. You have rules in the genre but that doesn't mean you can't bend them. Sidney has sex in the first film, Randy drinks at the party, Gale says "I'll be back", even Joel the camera guy lampshading that diverse characters don't often make it through to the climax. The audience expects them to die and they are spared, which is a refreshing turn of events.

Red Herring

Scream is also a whodunit at heart. Ghostface is a persona taken on by many antagonists over the four films. Most of the films keep up the suspense by teasing characters as the possible killer. Red herrings is a literary trick devised to mislead the audience and sometimes characters from deducing the truth too easily. In the first film, we are given more than our fair share of red herrings. The most masterful red herring is Billy Loomis. The film makes a hard go of planting the idea that he is the killer: a phone falls out of his pocket after Ghostface has chased Sidney around the house, a tendency appear when Ghostface has suddenly vanished from a crime scene, and acts so creepy, that the audience assumes he isn't actually the killer and the writers are trying to distract us. It all comes to a head when Ghostface stabs him during the final bloodbath right after Sidney plants one last seed of doubt in our heads. While Sidney runs around trying not to die, the audience and no doubt Sidney, feels bad for doubting Billy. But in a twist, he has faked his death and is one of two killers. Multiple characters over the franchise are used as red herrings: the overzealous blade happy Principal Himbry, Dewey who is nearly always absent when Ghostface calls, Derek who is a red Herring by default because we naturally suspect the boyfriend after Billy, Kincaid's knowledge of horror and his popping up odd times, Deputy Judy for her creepy behavior and knowledge of the prior crimes, Billy-Loomis-expy Trevor in Scream 4. Make the audience look left while you hit them from the right.

Pov trick Shots

So I've spoken about how much I love multiple POVs and all the tricks you can play with them. And Scream 2 provides the best example. All throughout the film, reporters gather about our characters trying to get interviews. Gale and Cotton are both approached by Debbie Salt, a seemingly nondescript background character who is likely there to get killed for entertainment value. Then comes the climax and she strides into view carrying a gun. The audience and Fake don't understand at first but Sidney sure does and she would, as Debbie Salt is Mrs. Loomis. Sid could recognise Mrs Loomis despite her lost weight (Gale only clicks after the fact) but Sidney never meets Mrs Loomis until the end of the film. Had she met her before or stumbled across her, the film would be over in seconds most likely.

Foreshadowing

Foreshadowing is when the events of a story are lampshades before they happen. Scream is one of the top works that does this well. On the topic of Mrs Loomis, she is foreshadowed so heavily that it almost is laughable when you rewatch it: Randy says that the killer could be somebody other than a white male citing Mrs Vorhees as his prime example (Mrs Loomis is the first Ghostface's mom), Randy is then rather savagely slain in a frenzied attack in broad daylight after badmouthing Billy and then she even foreshadows her own identity by claiming before other reporters that the new Ghostface could be from Woodsboro. In Scream 3, Randy's sister - who we didn't know existed- suddenly shows up with all the answers foreshadowing the reveal that Roman is Sidney's half brother and holds the answers to why all the killings happened. In Scream, Randy jokingly tells Stu that he'll see him in the kitchen with a knife after flaunting the 'I'll be right back' rule - and Stu ends up there, wielding a knife.

Characters

The thing with franchises like this, is that they often bring in new characters to surround the main character as they go through their travails. In the first Scream, Sidney has Tatum, Stu, Billy and Randy as friends. We see them interact with Sidney and other characters, they have personalities and their deaths actually impact us. Each of these characters shine on their own though Tatum is perhaps the flattest of the first group of friends but her rapport with Sidney and Dewey saves her and makes her death impactful. The background characters of Scream 2, we're introduced to Hallie, Derek and Mikey. Mikey did not have enough screen time for the audience to attach themselves to, he's merely as Randy puts it "the creepy film student". Hallie can only be seen around Sidney and does little except support Sidney. Derek does venture out of his supporting role, with having a goal (winning Sidney's trust), having a personality (his humour with his song) and being seen without Sidney (when the frat kidnap him). In Scream 4, almost every supporting character is ridiculously clichéd. You have the douchey guy (Trevor), the nerd (Robbie/Charlie), the edgy cool girl (Kirby), the pretty one (Olivia). The only one who makes any sort of impact is Kirby for showing us some personality and her death is actually hurtful. If you're going to introduce new characters to a story, they cannot be statuesque. They are people too. They need drive, personalities, lives outside the MC's life, goals of their own and should be seen acting as independent entities if they are to be taken seriously as characters.

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thatfraudcassandra · 3 years

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The One I Love: A Horror Story

I'm neurotic, inquisitive to the point of annoyance, self-righteous. I am the type of person who Googles how a magic trick is done, and before each movie, I go to Wikipedia, because I hate surprises. I'm that person in the movie theaters whose face is bathed in ghoulish blue light because she just has to check what happens next.

In contrast, my husband doesn't articulate his 2000 worries. He thinks the best of people, is incredibly generous, and enjoys a little mystery. He doesn't like when I Google movies we're about to watch, wrestles the phone out of my hands and puts it away. And yeah, he makes that "whoa" face when watching a magic trick.

If the plot of The One I Love happened to us, I'm pretty sure I'd come out on the losing end. Because I have a lot more to improve on than he does, and, well, we saw what happened to Ethan. Charlie McDowell's directorial debut has a fascinating premise that quickly turns sour to the point that you want to claw your way out of the experience. But like gory accidents, you can't look away, even if (like in my case) you know how it ends.

Sophie (Elisabeth Moss) and Ethan (Mark Duplass) are married, but he's neurotic and self-righteous and takes the fun out of magic tricks. His idea of fun is recreating past happy experiences because he has limited imagination, as depicted by the aforementioned over-explaining of magic tricks. Somewhere along the way, he has the gall to cheat on her, and of course she doesn't take it kindly; in fact she doesn't take anything kindly after that, not even the therapy they go to or Ethan's recreation of the night they met. She seems like a starry-eyed believer in magic, and Ethan is just an unimaginative warm body sleeping beside her. As a last-ditch effort to save their marriage, they go to a vacation house that their therapist, Michael from the Bad Place, recommends them. Oh no, Ethan and Sophie. You should never make deals with the devil.

They spend a weekend at the estate, reinvigorated by the greenery and Designer Home interiors. They have a good night together, but shit hits the fan when they discover exact replicas of them in the guest house next door. Well, exact, but better.

On the surface, Sophie 1's actions are understandable given Ethan 1's past infidelity. Ethan 2 is a little more in tune with his emotions, a little more engaging, a little more tolerant with not knowing how or why. He doesn't ask 200 questions, but says what Sophie 1 wants to hear. Who wouldn't want a romanticized, spruced-up version of the man you fell in love with, right? But isn't that what love is, sticking with each other, warts and all?

Sophie 2 isn't much better, but at least she's loyal. She sticks it up to Sophie 1 in the most satisfying scene by the dishwasher, even if it doesn't work because Sophie 1's head remains stuck up in her ass. But Sophie 2 loves Ethan 2 and is willing to be trapped in the guest house forever if it meant being together with him than with neurotic Ethan 1. I feel bad for Ethan 1, he's got two Sophies and not one of them want him.

The One I Love is a claustrophobic horror story that forces you to examine yourself and your relationships. How far are you willing to accept your partner, and how much effort are you willing to make to keep him? If you had the chance to change him, will you? In an alternate universe, will you choose an idealized representation of your spouse? Is this something I can Google, because I'm really itching to.

#The One I Love #movies I've seen #charlie mcdowell #mark duplass #elisabeth moss #film #movie

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clexa--warrior · 5 years

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Fear The Walking Dead' continues its losing streak in Sunday night's episode 'Ner Tamid.'

Credit: AMC

Sunday night's episode of Fear The Walking Dead was a little bit better than the rest of this half of the season, and I think I know why: There was no Morgan!s

Morgan and Al are off doing their own thing, and miraculously we didn't hear from either one this week. That's good! Sadly, we also didn't get any Alicia. She remains one of the only characters I still like on this show, though the past few episodes have done their level best to character-assassinate her (she's probably off painting more trees at this point).

The rest of the episode was pretty much about as pointless as the rest of the episodes in Season 5. Charlie "runs away" from the convoy to go find some place for them to stay, so that they're not always on the move. Finding a place to stay is a really good idea. Running off on your own in the zombie apocalypse is stupid beyond all reckoning, and I wish the writers and producers would stop making the characters act like such absolute dunces every week.

It appears the real problem is June, who is apparently in charge of the caravan and its 36 members. She's driving them all hard, not letting them stay in one place long, no rest for the weary and all that jazz. Even John Dorie is like "Hey June, baby, I love you but this is ridiculous," but it falls on deaf ears. I'm not sure why June is acting like this, or why she's suddenly in charge, or why they have a caravan instead of a base to begin with, but that doesn't matter. Fear The Walking Dead just does stuff, and we're just supposed to eat it up without questioning anything.

I think that's the only way people can still enjoy this show--just don't ask any questions, don't think about anything too much, don't expect anything remotely like logic or realism or human nature to figure into it at all.

In any case, Charlie makes yet another new friend while out on her own. This time it's a Jewish Rabbi, Jacob Kessner, who lives all by himself at his old synagogue. All his former flock are now zombies, calling to mind Father Gabriel from The Walking Dead (though Kessner is much less annoying than Gabriel, who I still can't stand). Charlie thinks this would be a good place for the survivors to settle down, but things don't work out. Before the end of the episode, the safe haven is overrun and Kessner is out of a home. Shocking. We've never seen the survivors show up and ruin a good thing before! (That's sarcasm, by the way. Everywhere our heroes go falls apart, from the family on the island to the Mexican villa, to the ranch, to the kids' treehouse this season).

June and Dorie show up and there's some zombie action, but we know nobody is going to actually get killed by a zombie. That hardly ever happens on this show. The last time I can think of it actually happening was when Madison died, but she died offscreen so we didn't even see it. There used to be some great zombie kills in previous seasons, but there's no reason to fear anything in Fear The Walking Dead these days.

That applies to Logan and his group of feckless, toothless bad guys. At one point they chase Sarah and Dwight--who looks ridiculous clean-shaven, though I suppose it's symbolic of his being totally neutered by the do-gooder sickness that's befallen the entire cast--and almost catch them but the tank shows up and saves the day. Of course, why they were so worried and running to begin with is beyond me. Recall last week when Morgan and Al were faced with a dozen of Logan's thugs and nothing happened. They just blocked the road and that's all. Are we supposed to think that this week things are so different that they pose an actual threat now?

Of course, it turns out that the whole thing was just a diversion. Logan wanted to distract the convoy. Apparently he's figured out where the oil fields are and he wanted Morgan's group as far away as possible which, uh, kind of sounds like what he did in the very beginning of this season by having them fly off to the nuclear power plant region. They're running out of ideas so fast it isn't even funny.

Is there even a story here? I mean, there are things that happen I guess, but is there a story? Let's try to parse it all together, shall we?

Season 5 starts with Morgan and most of the crew crash-landing a plane because they thought they were helping someone but it was just Logan tricking them so that he could take over the mill. The first half of the season is spent trying to get a new plane or fix the old plane so they can fly it back. There's also a nuclear power plant that's going to melt down, and we meet a new character, Grace, who is trying to prevent that. Eight episodes are spent on this dual-plot, with Strand and Charlie ultimately saving the day by bringing propellers in a hot air balloon to the heroes who then use their years of airplane mechanic experience to fix the plane and then fly successfully back to their own area of Texas because apparently that region has zero roads leading. It is a mystical island within the state of Texas that can only be reached by air (unless you're Dwight or his wife who apparently both managed just fine on solid ground).

So that's the first half of Season 5. Crash plane, fix plane, fly out. Logan has the mill. Then, bizarrely, at the very end of the first half of the season Logan tries to make a deal with them. This deal is not struck, we discover in the Season 5 midseason premiere, and Logan goes back to working with the thugs. I can't tell if they're working for him or he's working for them, because the show has done such a lousy, inconsistent job at explaining things to us.

Speaking of which, we learn that during the break, during the period of time that occurs off-screen between the two halves of this season, that Morgan has discovered where Polar Bear's oil fields are. And I guess he's also figured out how to refine oil into gasoline. And I guess this is what Logan was after the whole time, but they just neglected to introduce that conflict in any remotely comprehensible way. Now, five episodes into the back half of the season, the entire plot seems to be "Morgan and group go around helping people more while Logan tries to figure out where the oil fields are." Five episodes of filler with virtually nothing of any importance happening. Alicia meets the guy painting on all those trees. Morgan and Grace try and fail to spark a romance. Logan is mad at Morgan but does nothing about it. They film a stupid PSA and put it on VCRs with generators wherever they can so that people know that they're out there trying to help people.

None of this qualifies as a story, at least not really. The story, if it had to be boiled down, would be the conflict between Logan and Morgan's two groups. But that conflict barely exists, as evidenced by the times they've actually encountered one another and done nothing. At least Negan did stuff. At least the Saviors posed a threat, no matter how badly produced Seasons 7 and 8 of The Walking Dead were. At least there was a story.

Here we just have people driving around wasting gas, talking on walkie-talkies, rarely having realistic conversations or actually interesting struggles or conflicts. It's all contrived. You could probably boil down the entire 12 episodes we've seen so far into two and not lose anything.

Just take away the whole entire plane crash plot and have them tricked into leaving the mill. Then have Logan realize what he wanted in the mill wasn't there and go to war with Morgan to get the map to the oil fields. The oil fields themselves would be useless to Morgan since he doesn't know how to refine oil into gasoline, but he knows that Logan is bad news so he keeps that information from him anyways. Have Logan kill some of the good guys, and have that test Morgan's resolve to be a good person. Have Dwight show up as one of Logan's dudes, on the other side of the conflict, and have that make him question whether he's made the right choice.

I mean, I think you could probably get eight episodes out of this conflict, and then you could twist things around for the second half of the season. Morgan could snap again, go full killstreak mode. He and Alicia could break into two different groups and the conflict could continue between them somehow. This is all just spit-balling. The fact is, it would be fairly simple to come up with a better story for Season 5, with better and more natural conflicts. Actually, I'd have introduced Logan as a sympathetic character and had him join the group, had his treachery not manifest until it was too late. Make the betrayal sting.

But this is all fantasy. I want the same kind of tense conflict that drove Season 3, with sympathetic characters on both sides and no easy resolution. But what we're getting is a bunch of badly written filler episodes with no real purpose and an overarching conflict that makes no sense. Meanwhile, we get things like Al leaving all her tapes in a safe and then not bothering to even shut the lock boxes, and that's how Logan discovers the oil fields. We get John Dorie shooting a bullet at a hatchet blade so that it can split in two and kill a pair of approaching zombies. That's the kind of vapid writing this show has now. It's just sad.

Next week, Logan will use the oil fields to wipe out half of all living things in the universe and the week after that Al and June and Daniel will send Skidmark back in time in a time machine they built out of spare plane parts, and Skidmark's job will be to kill Polar Bear before he ever planted the oil seeds that eventually grew into the oil fields, but little do they know that Polar Bear is waiting for them . . . . it's a trap!

I just . . . I can't. I don't know what else to say. What a sad joke Fear has become.

#fear the walking dead spoilers

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citycfangels · 7 years

Conversation

text: raquel⇄ charlie

Raquel: Hey so I know you're probably sick of all he puns or things I find with your name but I was just listening to the Lumineers and chances are you're going to be serenaded with Charlie Boy. Just thought you should be warned if you're coming into work.

Raquel: and it got me wondering. Did you ever think about joining the army? Not that I'm saying you should.

Charlie: That's a weird song to serenade me with, Raquel.

Charlie: Nah, I'm not made for that, why do you ask?

Raquel: well it's the best one you're going to get right now. Unless you're about to start making requests.

Raquel: Because it went with the song. Besides, who doesn't like a man in uniform?

Charlie: I don't have anything in mind right now, but if I do, I'll let you know.

Charlie: Well, we both know I would look smokin' hot in a uniform, even in a military one.

Raquel: Fine. But you're just lucky this isn't a timed offer My expiration date would have been up really soon.

Raquel: Maybe. I'm not going to confirm or deny. I don't want to stroke your ego that much.

Charlie: Lucky me.

Charlie: Feel free to do so, don't be shy ;)

Raquel: very lucky you.

Raquel: well if I'm going to be stroking anything, I think we can both come up with better things than just your ego.

Charlie: Are you hitting on your ex, Raquel?

Raquel: if I were I would be a lot more explicit than that.

Raquel: but would it be the end of the world if I was?

Charlie: You're such a flirt and a tease, Quel. I like that.

Charlie: No, but too bad you're taken.

Raquel: you know most people would say the exact opposite. At least about liking the fact that I can be a tease.

Raquel: yep too bad. Guess you'll just have to learn how to behave.

Charlie: Teasing is fun, what can I say?

Charlie: I'll try but I can't promise anything. I'm a natural flirt

Raquel: I wonder if you would say that if I actually was trying to tease you.

Raquel: mhmm. Sure are.

Charlie: I like to think you're flirting with me, Quel.

Charlie: Legend says I was flirting as soon as I was born.

Raquel: careful. My boyfriend could be the jealous type.

Raquel: .... anyone that flirted back would have been a certified cradle robber.

Charlie: You're the one who started this.

Charlie: You know I was kidding, right?

Raquel: I didnt start anything . I just said that I might serenade you with a song based off your name but that's all.

Raquel: well with you I never know what could be true when it comes to your flirting.

Charlie: I think it started when you said something about stroking something more than my ego.

Raquel: that offer still doesn't have to be completely off the table.

Charlie: Really? What does your guy think about it?

Raquel: You know I haven't asked him but i mean you can if you really want to know the answer.

Charlie: No thanks, I don't need a black eye.

Charlie: I would look bad with it, and my handsome face is needed at work.

Raquel: then I guess we just don't have to tell him since your handsome face really is needed at work to cure my boredom.

Charlie: Are you suggesting what I'm thinking you are suggesting here, Quel?

Raquel: well if you're thinking I'm suggesting for us to sleep together and for us to see if we can top our own record of how many orgasms we can give each other in a day then maybe you're on the right track or at least getting a lot warmer

Charlie: Sounds like you've read my mind

Charlie: I'm all for it, babe. Say when and where

Raquel: well obviously I became a fortune teller and a mind reader. It's my superpower

Raquel: or maybe I just know you.

Raquel: stock room tonight. The bachelorette party is going to have to wait to flirt with you.

Charlie: We can't make them wait for too long tho, so it has to be quick.

Charlie: And if we want to continue later after closing, I wouldn't mind continuing it on my apartment.

Raquel: right, because your adoring crowd can't be kept waiting too long.

Raquel: maybe.

Charlie: what can I say? i'm their favorite sexy bartender

Charlie: okay.

Raquel: I'm sure you are.

Raquel: I just don't want to make you make a promise you might not be able to keep. What if the horny bridesmaids want to take you home tonight?

Charlie: i am, they're all give me generous tips because of my face. i mean, look at it.

Charlie: unless they offer me something better than you sexually, i think i can keep that promise. i can resist their charms, you know.

Raquel: I've seen your face. Just don't expect me to tip you because of it.

Raquel: something better than me sexually. Well i never know. This could be the one time you can't resist them.

Charlie: i can keep my dick in my pants around clients, Quel

Charlie: plus, it's not like they can be better than you in bed

Raquel: so around clients but around coworkers it's different.

Raquel: nice save.

Charlie: there isn't a rule about fucking co-workers, right?

Charlie: i really meant it. you're probably hotter than them and our sex was amazing so.

Raquel: not that I know of and if there is then it's too late for that.

Raquel: change that probably to definitely and you might have completely dug yourself out of that hole. Guess we'll have to see if that is still true 😘

Charlie: me neither, and we would have broken that rule anyways. a long time ago and so many times

Charlie: wait, i should see them tonight before changing that, but you're really hot, babe

Charlie: please, i never disappoint in bed and you know it ;)

Raquel: meaning there was no way you could keep your hands off me either way.

Raquel: keep talking like that. You know flattery gets you almost everywhere.

Raquel: prove it. You could have lost your touch with all the other girls you've been with since me.

Charlie: hey, you're not innocent here

Charlie: you like that, pretty girl?

Charlie: don't worry, you'll be more than satisfied by the end of the night. i hope you didn't lose your touch with your boy either ;)

Raquel: I never said I was innocent. You corrupted me a long time ago.

Raquel: maybe.

Raquel: don't worry about what my man has done to me. For all you know he might've taught me a few things to use on you.

Charlie: i'm kinda proud about it

Charlie: new tricks, huh? mind to share?

Raquel: only kinda proud? Who are you trying to fool here? You're totally proud and 100% smug about it.

Raquel: if you're a good boy maybe I will.

Charlie: you know me so well

Charlie: then i'll take you to my apartment after closing so you can show me, babe

Raquel: well after being with you for a year I'd like to think I know you pretty well.

Raquel: just planning on kidnapping me? Next you're going to tell me that you're going to hold me hostage.

Charlie: it's not kidnapping if you want to come here and well, come

Raquel: very valid point. I guess it's just full on stockholm syndrome. So cheeky. You can have me for as long as you want.

Charlie: can't wait for it, Quel. it's gonna be a good night for us

Raquel: the more you mention it, the more I don't actually mind the thought of going in to work.

Charlie: sex a good way to motivate someone, right?

Raquel: maybe it's not even just the sex. Maybe it's just being around you. (Unsent)

Raquel: It might even be the best way to motivate someone.

Raquel: wait I take that back. Chocolate and really good food might be the best way to motivate someone.

Charlie: by the end of the night you'll think sex is better, i promise

Raquel: someone's confident. Just remember that I'm pretty attached to my chocolate.

Charlie: i remember. i remember very well.

Charlie: still, i'm very confident about my skills in bed

Raquel: then why are we still waiting to have you prove things?

Raquel: of course things get busy tonight of all nights

Raquel: meet you after work in the back alley?

Charlie: damn, and i was looking forward to fucking you in the store room

Charlie: I'll see you there once we close

#text #text: charlie #all: charlie #text: 001 charlie #ship: rarlie

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