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That's some raw honesty on Maisie's part.

Ben's life is so sad, wow.

Yewbeam aunts descriptions.

So in 10 minutes Maisie not only cooked chicken, but cooked it to the point of dryness? What kind of godly radioactive oven do they have?!

Genuinely, how did she trick him? I don't think it's trickery if she says "look at the pictures" and then he looks at the pictures.

Do we ever find out if it's actually in the family orrrr

Cause we know there's witches, shapeshifters, and power boosters in the bloodline but I don't recall hearing of any other picture travelers.

Onimous and Julia descriptions.

Honestly, if Julia wanted an excuse to be rid of the dead guy's weird shit, she could have just said so.

Inventing things: lazy

Selling things: not lazy

what

Between this and giving random inventions to Charlie, I'm starting to think Julia has an oversharing problem.

can't say I blame him tbh

why would you give him Tolly Twelve Bells. you've know him for 5 minutes and 4 of them were you telling him about your backstory unprompted. why would you trust him

#dag liveblogs charlie bone #lucretia yewbeam #eustacia yewbeam #venetia yewbeam #orvil onimous #julia ingledew #I act like a hater but I love her

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new headcanon: Dagbert whose gender fluctuates between every gender BUT male. They're so nautical that even her gender is wet and a little salty

I am a truther for a lot of things, but my biggest truth is that Dagbert is agender. Why? If Lord Grimwald had no first son, then Lysander could kill him all day every day no problem. He/They Dagbert who doesn't identify as a man or son or boy but actually just doesn't care

#xe can keep the he/him pronouns every now and then though. as a treat

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Rereading (and of course live blogging) the series. If you don't wanna see this but don't wanna block me, I'll tag my liveblog posts with #dag liveblogs charlie bone.

In addition to parts I have Comments about, I'll also be noting every time a character's appearance is described. So far we have Charlie and Grandma Bone.

Wait he doesn't turn 11. He TURNS 10??? He starts the series as a 9 year old??? We need a Benjamin Brown Protection Squad.

Grandma Bone description. Also, I feel like the whole "after midnight magic" angle would have been cool to explore. WHY does it work better after midnight? When does it stop being "after midnight"? ARE endowments enhanced after midnight? Etc

We need a Benjamin Brown Protection Squad.

Descriptions.

And, since I'll be going in chapters, that's all for this post.

#charlie bone #grandma bone #benjamin brown #manfred bloor #paton yewbeam #dag liveblogs charlie bone #JUST to be clear. don't call me Dag. that's not my nickname #I just don't wanna use ''charlie bone liveblog'' tag bc idk #someone else might use it one day #none at the moment but maybe one day

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Emma pls don't eat ur friends :(

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Objectively, the funniest part of the first book is when Dr. Bloor, rationally, says they can't be sure Charlie has the case they're after.

And Manfred is just like "Of course Charlie has it. Never mind that we only saw him leave with a normal bookstore shopping bag and not the case itself, and that Julia just received tons of boxes with Dr. Tolly's inventions and it could still be in any one of them, and that Charlie couldn't have had any idea to seek out this random object he had no way of knowing was distantly connected to him. Obviously she gave the super important plot device to a random 10-year-old she literally just met and has no reason to believe she would ever see again, much less would miraculously be both willing and able to help her find her missing niece"

and he's RIGHT

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Still think Dagbert should've lived with the Gunns. They had the room (source: "The Gunns were such a large family, they decided that one more child would hardly make any difference" when they were about to adopt Billy). I deleted my cringe rant from a few years ago but the idea is solid. Dagbert wouldn't put out any fires. PLUS, hilarity ensues when only child Dagbert becomes a fish out of water adapting to life with a dozen siblings. In this fanfiction I will

#children of the red king #dagbert endless #I'm not a good author so I'm not actually writing that fanfic #but if I magically woke up with the power of writing that'd be the first fic I write

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I am a truther for a lot of things, but my biggest truth is that Dagbert is agender. Why? If Lord Grimwald had no first son, then Lysander could kill him all day every day no problem. He/They Dagbert who doesn't identify as a man or son or boy but actually just doesn't care

#NOT THE DREAM THEORYYYYYYYYYY

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i love benjamin brown and his dumbass dog, runner bean.

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Oh, I loved Annals of the North! Haven't read Curse of the Endless yet.

Here's some (100% joke) theories:

Lysander is secretly a Grimwald

Dagbert and Lysander get married later on and future son-in-laws are valid for the curse

The original curse had "or Lysander" as part of it but it was dropped bc nobody knew what it meant

It was all one of Olivia's illusions and it was actually Dagbert "disguised" as Lysander to trick Grimwald. They forgot to tell Charlie and that's why it wasn't mentioned

Grimwald faked his death and escaped, but slipped on a banana peel Dagbert threw on the ground earlier and died

Grimwald faked his death and escaped, but then Dagbert showed up via Time Twister and stabbed him off screen

Whoever cursed the bloodline didn't really curse it, they just said they did and everyone believed them

The curse was invented by a Grimwald who wanted an excuse to murder his bratty firstborn son, it was never real

The curse was mistranslated at some point

Lord Grimwald would later be revived by a necromancer so the first death doesn't count

Lord Grimwald was actually the product of his mother's affair and was never a Grimwald by blood and the curse never applied to him or Dagbert

Mermaid years are longer than human years so Dagbert was younger than Lord Grimwald thought, relatively speaking, if you stop believing in "years" or "time"

Joke theories aside, I do like speculating serious reasons why Lysander could kill Lord Grimwald. The top two are my favorites, especially number two. If they couldn't die until killed, that'd pretty much make them immortal until the son is 13. Which isn't impossible, but strange that neither of them didn't boast about it or act more recklessly if it were true.

I am a truther for a lot of things, but my biggest truth is that Dagbert is agender. Why? If Lord Grimwald had no first son, then Lysander could kill him all day every day no problem. He/They Dagbert who doesn't identify as a man or son or boy but actually just doesn't care

#children of the red king #dagbert endless #lord grimwald

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Tancred warm up for TancSander drawing later

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I was thinking about my girl again 💚🦅

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I am a truther for a lot of things, but my biggest truth is that Dagbert is agender. Why? If Lord Grimwald had no first son, then Lysander could kill him all day every day no problem. He/They Dagbert who doesn't identify as a man or son or boy but actually just doesn't care

#children of the red king #dagbert endless

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i wish there was more stuff about children of the red king/the charlie bone series. its like a Travesty how little fandom there is out there. calling out to the void now. there were so many fun ideas here please let us play together with them

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My new headcanon is now that they gave him several names to use only and exclusively for committing multiple magic crimes. Beautiful

Dagbert having endless surnames but Lord Grimwald only having "Grimwald" implies Dagbert either inherited his many surnames from his mother, or Lord Grimwald also has many surnames but managed to pick one. If they're from his mother, it implies that mermaids all have long names. If they're from his father, then I think it's safe to say that a man who chose the name "Grimwald" is likely to be the idiot who decided to name a baby "Dagbert". In this essay I will

#Dagbert Endless? murderer. #Dagbert Kettle? tax evader. #Dagbert Grimwald? upstanding citizen with a sick ass castle. #etc

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Lysander Sage worlds most mature teenager love ya buddy get therapy soon

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I do it to spread the gospel of farm emo gabriel

this is Gabriel. to me.

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Truly one of my greatest callings in life is making fan art for underappreciated fantasy books I read as a child