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#he could steal my thin mints anytime
caffeinatedtimdrake · 5 years
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Cookie Monster
A/N: 1.4k of Tim Drake x reader fluff in which he steals your cookies AND your heart, and you are not having it. 
Tim watches you warily, azure eyes blown wide and brows lifted circumspectly. He gingerly lifts his left foot, sneaker squeaking against dark Cherrywood floors, to take a step backwards. 
“Tim.” 
He winces a little, wrinkling his nose and leaning further away. “Y/N?” 
“Did you finish the last thin mint?” You inquire tersely with all the dark authority of a malicious villain or perhaps a seething school teacher, eyes narrowed, and mouth pulled into a stern line.
He withers beneath your glare silently for several moments, a flower deprived of sunlight. “I swear I didn’t know it was the last box, Y/N.” 
You exhale sharply in a huff of carbon dioxide and agitation. Your voice is eerily calm when you tell him, “I’m going to end you.” 
For a heartbeat he only sees you in the waning light of the manor, sun dust floating between the rays of light that peek through the long curtains against the parlor curtains and trace the pretty angles of your face.
And then he turns sharply on his foot and throws himself down the hallway, lanky legs carrying him away from your ire. 
“I DON’T BUY IT, TIM DRAKE!” You snap, shoes slapping loudly against the floor. 
“I PROMISE, Y/N!” He yelps, sharply turning a corner and flinging himself into the kitchen.
“YOU ATE THOSE COOKIES TO SPITE ME!” You bellow, wrenching open the door.
Tim dives behind Alfred. “Cookies are NOT worth murder!”  
From the kitchen island, Damian quirks an eyebrow and sips apple juice. “I beg to differ, Drake.” 
“Might I ask which cookies you two speak of?” Alfred inquires, inching away from Tim pointedly. 
You squint at Tim and he flushes, rubbing the back of his neck. “The thin mints.” 
Alfred tuts disapprovingly. “Institutional cookies. Factory-made. Though I would be lying if I said they weren’t delicious.” 
“Yes.” You agree. “And that is why Tim must pay with his blood and tears for finishing the last box.” 
His voice gets a little squeaky. “They didn’t have your name on it!” 
“When Diana decided to stash me here for the month, Bruce said I could have that tiny cabinet for food items I wanted to keep safe because he, and I quote, ‘lives with ravenous scavengers.” 
Tim’s bottom lip juts out in a painfully endearing pout. Your fury wavers for a moment, tempered by his solemnity. “I didn’t know!”
This snaps against your skin like a taut rubber band, annihilating your saccharine daze. “Lies! You know everything, Tim Drake!” 
Damian nearly cackles, beyond amused with the frivolous and quasi-violent exchange. 
There’s a flare of weary hesitation across Tim’s features, milliseconds in which a tiny voice reminds you that no, Tim Drake does not know everything because he seems to have no idea you’ve been enamored with him for the past three months (but no amount of amour could excuse his cookie treachery). 
He parts his lips, probably to offer another decrepit justification for eating your cookies, but he doesn’t get to finish because you charge at him again. 
He yells and nimbly maneuvers around the counters and chairs and Titus’s water bowl, lunging towards the back door. He thunders down the cobblestone path, shouting defenses, feet stinging and heart racing. 
Tim screeches to an abrupt halt when he realizes he doesn’t hear your footfalls nipping at his heels, glancing around the yard with narrowed eyes. He breathes in measured pants, chest heaving. He has surveyed the whole yard and thinks he might beeline back for the manor when you land on him with a surprisingly elegant thump. 
He falls to the grass with a yelp and the two of you tousle for a bit between shouts and flying green – ineptly, in a manner that intensely undermines all of your superb superhero training. 
“You asshat! I really wanted that last cookie!” 
“But they’re so good! We can always – OUCH – buy more!” 
“I don’t care, imbecile! I had a bad day! That cookie was my – AHHH – only motivation!” 
“Killing me will not bring your cookie back, Y/N!” 
“No, but it will bring me as much joy as that cookie would have.” You tell him simply. 
You flip him over, effectively pining him to the grass, and he’s too tired to fight back – and, possibly, he enjoys this too much. 
When Tim arches a brow, bemused smirk curling at the corner of his mouth and reaching his crystalline eyes, your pride hides her big head behind your shyness. “So, Y/N, how are you going to obliterate my existence?” 
You freeze above him, spine stiff. Your thighs are tense and locked around his waist, and you gaze at him in horror because you are currently straddling the boy you want to both kiss and kill. You have him where you want him, but you don’t know what you want beyond this. 
Tim is captivating here, sunlight pressing sweet kisses across his skin and evoking flecks of jade and honey and startling affection in his eyes, dark hair ruffled with echoes of bronze and chocolate. He is the type of lovely that leaves you breathless and being so close to him incites a dizzying spell of beauty – one that pacifies and then eradicates your bloodthirst. 
He takes advantage of your lapse in judgement and overall functioning to flip you onto your back and you don’t even realize what’s happened until he leans over you, smart nose and raised eyebrows and the subtly cloying fragrance of…mint. 
“W-what are you doing, Tim?” You warble, panic slithering down your throat and around your lungs and through your heart, settling the pit of your stomach. You know you have received enough training to effectively throw Tim Drake off of you and, probably, into the manor but you’re terrified. Something about the light dancing in his gaze and easy weight of his hips resting against your own petrifies you profoundly, more than any villainous force of evil. 
The significance of an unhealthy snack seems minute in comparison to the way Tim Drake hovers above you like a fog of divinity. 
His smile is warmer now and he leans back a little, shrugging. “Waiting for you to kill me.” 
You have half a mind to grimace. 
“From here, it doesn’t quite look like you’re in a homicidal rage over girl scout cookies.” Tim muses and you hate the startled gasp that escapes your mouth when Tim lithely springs to his feet, reeling a little from the sudden absence of pressure and his annoyingly pleasant preppy boy cologne. 
He extends his hands to help you up and you lay there for a few moments before gingerly accepting the gesture of tentative peace. It takes him a few beats too long to drop your hands and you’re mostly numb, but it makes your face burn. 
He clears his throat and you’re astonished to notice Tim in a similarly flustered state considering his formerly suave, coquettish front. “I really do apologize about the cookies. I, um, know they’re your favorite.” 
Your mouth is little dry, but you shake your head and look at the grass. “It’s…okay.”
“I can go get you more. Or, if you want…” He trails off, glancing towards the brilliantly cloudless sky. 
You look back up at him expectantly, pretty eyes bigger than the moon, and he wants to lose himself because they shine like sweet starlight and his heart is on the verge of exploding.  
“We could go together?”
You blink at him. “I – yes. Okay. Together.” 
From inside the manor, Damian and Alfred have been observing your interaction, promptly joined by Dick and Jason. 
“I will bet three of Alfred’s chocolate chip cookies that Tim is gonna faint.” Jason declares. 
Dick hums and counters, “Nah, five cookies says Y/N still punches him in the mouth for eating the cookie.” 
Damian narrows his eyes attentively at the way you and Tim brush shoulders, ambling slowly back towards the manor with equally foolish smiles on your faces, and tilts his head thoughtfully. 
“I would like to bet a whole batch that Drake and Y/N have already decided to go on a date. Most likely to somewhere outrageous, like a supermarket.” 
Jason chuckles. “You’re on, kid.” 
“Deal.” Dick says, unable to fight a cheesy smile when he sees the amorous, not murderous, interaction between you and Tim. 
In the end, Damian spends the next night enjoying two dozen chocolate chip cookies while you and Tim spend the next weekend kissing and tracking all the thin mint vendors in the state.
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twisting-moonlight · 7 years
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@Gerph18up 16-Bit Booty Part 1
A nervous Dumfer sat on the bed along with Skarpne and Mint. Himself and his alien tormentor sat at the summit of the bed, a pillow parked beneath each of their rears as a preoccupied Gamer lay outstretched before them.
The mint green haired Gamer was spread out across the bed, laying across her front facing away from the duo. Her sizable rump jiggling teasingly before them with her attention focused on the TV that stood at the end of the bed, the look of prideful competitiveness burning in her eyes determined not to lose in the midst of intense battle, fully immersed in her own little gamer world….
“I’m happy to have you both join me, not many people like to just sit by and watch me in the middle of a tournament, it is nice having the compa…” Mint said with a slight wry smile before cutting herself off “DAMMIT!! cheating butts… ” her face pouted and contorted with a serious look of determination, shoulders perking up and not willing to give up without a fight.
“t-thanks for having us…” stuttered a nervous Dumfer.
“Anytime Green~” Skarpne added, the nicknames she addressed the mint green gamer endlessly varied and more often than not perverted in nature.
However behind Mint her two guests were distracted with one another, speaking in hush whispers but in a tone filled with nerves as Dumfer bickered with his sexually proactive roommate . “I i-i still can’t believe you talked me into this!! I’m not going through with it Skarpne! I won’t do that to Mint!”
Skarpne just smiled with a devilish toothy grin, pleased with herself in setting up this little scenario with the little naive Dumfer unable to go against her “but Dumfer… i set this all up for you! my sweet little peeeeer-vert~” she extended her long tongue from her lips and it danced provocatively with the pronunciation of her slanderous final word before pulling his face into her cleavage for a particularly hot embrace, having made sure unzip her hoodie top as low as possible without her bosom spilling out, pressing them against a heated Dumfer as he quickly turned red in the face and a bulge growing fast straining against his pants, with one arm hooked around his neck the other reached towards the ass of their oblivious host, her hand ghosting over the impressive curves of Mints backside not quite touching the butt hugging material of her denim shorts “all… for… you!” she repeated softly into his ear before snickering in a sly manner.
As Dumfer assessed the situation from the warm snuggly confines of Skarpne’s bosom, Mint’s luscious curves laid out before him as he contemplated just what series of events had led up to this moment, almost reaching a zen like moment of thought as his heart and mind raced with both excitement and panic.
————————
The day had started as any other, a hungry alien trying to sneak into his bed for a breakfast consisting of his thick mayonnaise and having to fight off the advances of the sex crazed girl, his reistance in fighting her off actually successful for once but with a toothy grin flashing his way before making her retreat he wondered if he would regret his choice.
However naive little Dumfer paid it no mind and made his way to Indiapolis prep and during the day Skarpne kept to herself, unusually quiet he feared the mayonnaise addict was plotting some new porn escapade to entertain herself and that he would once more be landed with the job as unwilling cameraman and possible porn extra, keeping a close eye on her throughout the classes it wasn’t long before her realized her gaze was fixated upon Mint.
The innocent Mint, a rather quiet type that kept to herself at times but wasn’t beyond calling out others for their stupidity, not being one to suffer the attention of fools and known for her avid love of gaming. Dumfer had only pleasant conversation with her, typically only the topic of games and occasionally music drawing up much interest from her but still he felt he had to protect her from the porn hungry clutches of the devious Skarpne.
At the first chance he confronted Skarpne about her scheming, spotting her between classes with her head buried in her locker as if concealing something, her hips shaking daringly not caring who steals a glance of her behind in her booty hugging shorts. “Skarpne! just what are you planning… don’t think i haven’t noticed those lecherous glares directed towards Mint” he asked sharply, looking up to her sly grin beyond the mountain of breast that partially obscured his view of her face.
“Why Dumfer … just what could you be implying? i only have the most innocent of intentions for our classmates” her expression said otherwise as she glanced over the opposite side of the hallway as Mint attended to her own locker, licking her own lips in anticipation and leaning forward over Dumfer making sure to direct her bust towards his face.
“J-just whatever your planning forget it!! its not happening!” Dumfer blushed as he stared into the deep alien cleavage, taking a moment before stepping back away from the pair of soft pillowy temptations.
“But Dumfer… i need your help, i need you to get us an invitation to the abode of your chummy little gamer pal who is encumbered with such junk in dat trunk…” Dumfer just stared at her as she made no more effort to hide her intentions, looking blankly to her, shaking his head in refusal as her expression grew to one of such lustful desire.
“Oh Dumfer , you WILL help… ” stepping away from the locker she revealed the camcorder inside with the screen open it was showing the playback of a recording, the muted footage making him turn instantly bright red, sweating bullets as it showed himself and Skarpne both completely naked with Skarpne laid out on her back with her breasts bouncing as he pounded himself between her thighs, blissfully unaware he was being filmed penetrating alien pussy, the devious mayo lover however winking towards the hidden camera.
“W-when… h-how? we never filmed THIS!” Dumfer spoke in a hush nervous tone, staring daggers at Skarpne.
“I hid the camera… look Dumfer! you look so happy… thrusting away” she teased the panicked and confused Dumfer, meeting his glare as she had him right where she wanted him “now, if you don’t want Anisa to see this cinematic masterpiece from start to finish then you will get us into that little gamer’s pad… this is not something a sister should see her little kid brother doing now is it?”
Dumfer swallowed hard, left little choice to but to go along with her plans, watching her cackle away smugly before him, her chest jiggling along with her perverted laugh. “A-and just why do you want to get into her place so badly” asking rather redundantly, her intentions obvious.
“To make porn of course! just think of her reaction as innocent little Dumfer fills her with such thick sweet Mayo!” she said with such glee, practically drooling at the delicious thought.
With Skarpne pulling the strings Dumfer reluctantly approached Mint, striking up a conversation which inevitably turned to gaming, hearing about the online tournament he forced himself to ask if himself and Skarpne could come and watch her play, the perfect excuse to join her in her home, Mint was a little surprised at his request but gave a friendly smile, welcoming the company, unaware of the party’s ulterior motives. the events all following Skarpne’s plan as she puppeteered the poor Dumfer.
————————- Dumfer let out a reluctant sigh into Skarpne’s bust as he felt woefully trapped in the situation and in the tender silky soft skin of her breast that clouded his judgment and made his pants tighten so much, pushing and squirming free of her grasp his hands moving to press down on his pants in an attempt to subdue the ever growing erection.
Skarpne was intent on making him the lead actor in this film and with the dexterity that would rival a magician she conjured the camcorder seemingly out of thin air moving to once more show Dumfer the footage of their sexual encounter to make sure he played along, however seeing his way out Dumfer made a futile lunge towards the camera in a effort to seize it from her, hoping to reclaim his camcorder and delete the evidence. However he quickly realized how feeble his attempted was as her candy cane striped tail materialized above him, swatting him down making the bed quake beneath the trio, only the disturbance around Mint bringing her attention to the pair once more.
“H-hey calm down you two! geeze!” scolding their rambunctiousness, not disturbed enough to turn around and see the alien tail smothering a defeated Dumfer into the beds surface “sorry pixel tits~ don’t let us disturb you” Skarpne said with a giggle, invoking a frown from the preoccupied Mint, not approving many of the names Skarpne called her “pixel… stupid blue hair…” she muttered, blushing a little, trying to mask her embarrassment with her retort. Peeling her tail off the squashed Dumfer she leaning over him “ now say sorry Dumfer”
The dazed Dumfer just repeated without a thought, still disorientated from the impact"sorry Dumfer" he replied.
Mint grinned, unable to help giggling a little at the exchange between the two of them “thats ok Dumfer, Skarpne”
Dumfer picked himself up from the bed nursing the bump on his head he received as a warning from Skarpne’s disciplining tail, he looked over at Skarpne as she knelt beside Mint while beginning to motion to him in strange gesticulations, first pointing towards him and then in the direction of Mints rear end in an effort to direct him, pointing then back to Dumfer and raising both hands, on one hand she extended her index and middle finger and on the other hand she formed a circular shape with her fingers bringing her fingers thrusting through the circle making crude mimes of sex, it wasn’t long before the the two fingers became a clenched fist thrusting through her hand in a forceful manner with a wicked grin on her lips the motions only growing increasingly crude as she teased him. http://imgur.com/a/Slw7O
(image is the property and work of Gerph)
Her final act to be mounting Mints ass, knees either side her sizable buttocks making sure not to touch as she began thrusting her hips towards her rear, simulating sex while Mint carried on gaming blissfully unaware, Skarpne putting her all into the act driving her imaginary member towards Mint and raising her hand, swinging and missing pretending to spank the tender flesh of Mints behind while riding it like a demon, making sure to turn to Dumfer and wink periodically, showing him what he could have.
Before long Skarpne’s patience began wearing thin with him and his inaction, parting herself from the close company of Mints rump she rejoined Dumfer as he still battled the fierce erection in his pants, leaning over whispering to him and speaking to him as if the voice of his conscience was calling out, playing the role of the devil to take what he desires “Dumfer~ oh Dumfeeeer~ why do you deny yourself such pleasure… those sweet cheeks are waiting for you, just grab a hold of that big round booty, yank down those shorts and whatever cute little panties are concealed within and then … ” she paused, slipping her hand down to his crotch, her words obviously effecting him she grabbed and gave his erection a squeeze through his pants, feeling the heat radiating from his member “then let little Dumfer have his fun.”
Dumfer gasped and squirmed in Skarpne’s grasp, his manhood certainly intrigued by her suggestion, throbbing powerfully in her tightening hold.
“She wants it Dumfer… she just doesn’t know it yet, don’t deny her such bliss, such passion” her words and his own growing erection swayed the weakening Dumfer with each passing moment, but still he shook his head just needing one more push.
Skarpne could read a persons sexual desires like a book with her alien expertise in all things sex making her intuition razor sharp and she knew the little spark of lust Mint secretly kindled for Dumfer. How that with a dominate hand she would crumble and fall for him hard, submitting and letting him take her in any way he might desire, this thought kept Skarpne pushing Dumfer on, eager to see a dominating Dumfer take the secretly submissive Mint… however laughable the thought of a dominant Dumfer may be she could feel his lust within her grasp, sure to get at least some footage of them fucking with Dumfer so ready to go and with her lead Skarpne would be getting some triple star class porn from her unwilling ‘actors’.
So with her goal in mind Skarpne gave the biggest toothiest grin to Dumfer as if to say ‘watch this’, her hand still wrapped around his erection keeping him under control as her tail extended towards Mint hovering above her body, he could only watch and squirm in Skarpne’s grip, Skarpne’s tail twirling and circling around in the air as if winding up for something, her antennae twitching in anticipation and beginning to drool slightly as she stared at her target, the plump rear end of the not-so-innocent Mint and with a sudden fierce lash of her striped tail it was brought down across her cheeks, a loud ‘thwack’ breaking the silence and overwhelming the sounds of battle emanating from the TV as the gamer’s ass took such a powerful strike across her cheeks, Skarpne immediately making her tail vanish from sight once more and watching as the stunned gamer seemed to react in slow motion.
Mint lay shocked as her butt cheeks throbbed from the force of the strike with her back arching involuntary and bust lifting from the beds surface while her hips grinded firmly into the bed sheets, her eyelids slowly descending, growing heavy with desire just staring blankly at the TV through half open eyes as they glossed over with a lustful glaze , her grip on the game pad froze completely lost for the moment fingers locking in place and her lead in the tournament beginning to slowly slip away before finally letting out the longest deepest groan of pleasure her mint green lips curling around the passion enthralled moan, her body reacting in the only way it could with the lustful groan seemingly echoing throughout the room as it lingered on for what seemed like an eternity. Both Skarpne and Dumfer couldn’t help but to be deeply aroused by such a sexual moan before it slowly dissipated and slipped away, Skarpne feeling her own underwear becoming thoroughly soaked her mind ablaze with the thoughts of what will happen next while moving a second hand to Dumfer’s erection clamping down with both hands to wrangle it under control a wicked smile drawn across her lips as Skarpne spoke out.
“OH MY! DUMFER!! how bold of you!! across both cheeks! a critical hit!” her grasp tightened around his cock as a warning should he try to deny any involvement in slapping her ass, Skarpne’s fingers sliding up his length giving the moist tip a little pinch before releasing him, his erection throbbing in the ever tightening confines of his pants, setting him loose just as Mint turned her gaze back to them, peering over her shoulder shyly.
“D-dumfer?!” Mint said with a deep hunger tainting her words, gasping softly as she still felt her cheeks throbbing from the strike and a crimson blush filling her cheeks as she met his gaze, a flustered Dumfer just staring back struggling to find the words to explain before her eyes fell on his obvious erection, biting her bottom lip suckling softly on the mint green lipstick that painted her lips “d-did you…?” she stopped herself before simply turning her attention back to her game, her words not showing a sign of anger at his accused action only delight as she tried to regain her position in the league game, her rear end wiggling more than before seemingly eager for attention.
Skarpne leaned over to Dumfer breathing heavily against him as she ran her pointed teeth across the shell of his ear, feeling quite pleased with herself right now “shes all yours Dumfer… get that joystick in there!” and with her final words of encouragement she raised the camcorder centering Mints hips in the middle of the frame and beginning the recording, Skarpne already trying to decide the title she will give to the resulting porn video Dumfer and Mint will create for her “private space invaders?… nah… 50-shades of pixels?” she said to herself, contemplating this very important decision.
part 2
Dumfer sat in a daze by the events that had unfolded before his eyes, Skarpne wielding a camera beside him, its focus currently switching between the excitable behind of Mint as it still wiggled and bounced towards him in a hypnotic gesture for attention and to his own erection that pitched the most obvious tent in his pants, the peak of which was thoroughly soaked and sticky with his flowing juices. Awaiting him on the bed was the willing and eager Mint, her switch seemingly flicked by the firm lash across her backside she lay submissively out across the bed, playing coy and trying to restrain the lust that swelled up inside as she just waited in anticipation, pleased to be a pawn in their sexual games and to be used by the seemingly dominant dumfer. His motives driven by blackmail and lust under the command of the devious Skarpne, his thoughts beyond reason any more he had a raging erection that needed satisfaction and with a girl eager for a dominant touch laid out before him even the meek little Dumfer managing to find some resolve to take what he desired. "you cant let this one have free reign Dumfer .. got to tie this one down" Skarpne said as she placed down the camcorder, letting it sit by and capture the action as she gave Dumfer a little helping hand with handling a punky little sub taking a step between Mint and the TV screen her view of the game replaced by the thick full hips of Skarpne, her booty shorts still obviously wet and stained heavily with lust as she leaned over her target, her alien bust hanging down before the gamers face drawing her gaze to the undeniably impressive bust causing her to blush brightly and gulp hard, the hoodie barely containing them fearing they would spill out at any moment. With Mint's attention diverted Skarpne wrestled the controller from her grasp "H-hey!! d-dont!" she interjected, reaching for her precious custom game pad, as a gamer she only used a wired controller from fearing the battery dieing at a critical moment and now it was used against her, pulled tight above her in the devious aliens grasp unplugging the controller sealing Mint's fate in the tournament as she watched the cable being wound tightly around her wrists, running a figure of eight path around them binding them together securely. "M-my game... the tournament ..." she whimpered, no longer able to regain her cool calm composure by focusing on her game, forced to face the pair of sexual deviants that loomed over her, wriggling her wrists in her bindings Skarpne had made sure to secure her before collecting the camera, resuming filming once more.
Skarpne now just watched quietly through the screen of the camcorder licking her lips in hunger while circling the scene between the two forcing a bashful Mint to confront the camera as the submissive gamer just tried to ignore it still coming to terms with her now trussed up state and her face flushed bright red, chewing nervously on her bottom lip as if to stifle any possible sound that may try to escape her lips as behind her a emboldened Dumfer made his approach. His small frame approaching the mountainous curves of Mints rear end and boldly grabbing a hold of her pants his hands curling around her belt forcing them down in one swift motion, peeling them from her backside, the belt sitting beneath her round plump cheeks with Mint's rosy red buttocks now exposed fidgeting before him with nothing but a a tiny white and green striped g-string nestled between her butt crack covering her rear. she still forced herself to remain silent lowering her head as she watched her place in the tournament plummet and each of Dumfer's hands quickly found their place in the center of each enormous cheek the petite hands of the pint-sized Dumfer appearing even smaller as his grip sunk into the soft marshmallow pale flesh of her tender cheeks, groping her ass with a look of perverted bliss plastered across his face as his amateurish grabbing elicited a small moan of pleasure from Mint as she still attempted to act indifferent to his actions. "C'mon Dumfer this isn't a silent movie! say something! look at that ass, tell her how hard it makes you! pretend your a plumber, mushroom in hand and on the lookout for pipes to delve into! tell her your gonna explore her twilight realms and your gonna give her your master sword!" Skarpne grinned as she spouted such cliched dirty gamer jokes, Dumfer looking for the words to say in response "it makes nerd-girl here so hot Dumfer.. do it for her~" Mints face was now the deepest shade of crimson, sweating with pure embarrassment and her chest heaving beneath her clearly excited by the cheesy dirty talk but before he could chose himself the right words Skarpne pressed her lips to Mints ear, her hot breath caressing her lobe as she whispered to her, her tongue stroking over the shell of her ear as she said her piece before flicking the little d-pad shaped earring and making her retreat.
Mint looked over her shoulder, turning her head back to peek at Dumfer, meeting his gaze as his hands were full with her cheeks she spoke with words that didn't quite feel as her own. "D-d-dumfer.. p-play my ass like a rhythm game, p-pluck me hard.. g-give the drums a good thrashing and lets make sweet music.. " she glanced to Skarpne as if seemingly for approval and then added "a-and make sure you smash the high score" Mint repeated the lines fed to her obediently , watching him now with docile look in her eyes, the mint green gamer seemingly very suggestible in her aroused submissive state a fact Skarpne enjoyed to no end. Dumfer looked dumbfounded for a moment  hearing such words coming from Mint, he expected such dirty talk from Skarpne, only her silence surprised him anymore, but coming from Mint in such a timid manner made him feel in control, briefly giving him the delusion of his dominance over the situation. "F-fuck! .. Mint i need your body so badly, your sexy curves, those perfect tits and delicious ass just make me so h-horny ..." he said as he grabbed the rear of her g-string, pulling on the tiny undergarment, making it grind roughly between her legs, with her pants still in place tucked below her cheeks the Horny Dumfer unaware of just how much of an effect their teasing had on her. Skarpne leaned in next to Dumfer, pointy teeth scraping at his ear as she whispered to him, feeding lines to her actors as they performed for her unwittingly. "Mint if i was a NES cartridge would you blow me?" Dumfer swatted at the air in Skarpnes direction shooing her away as he repeated her line without a thought, Skarpne already back beside Mint shaking her hips alluringly before the  timid gamer. "Dumfer... I'd blow you so hard" Dufmer failed to noticed as Mint murmured a reply faintly, her words caught on the camera but not quite reaching Dumfers ears as he brought his focus back to the glorious booty laid before him, his hand still tugging and teasing her g-string before he released it, a sharp snap bringing it springing back into place tight between mint's cheeks making her body shudder as it stung her flesh.
Dumfer took a deep breath, looking down at his own erection crammed into his pants moving his hands to unbuckle his pants with a eager Skarpne dashing in to monopolize on the moment, slipping in behind him she rested the camera upon his shoulder pointing it downwards whilst pressing her ample bust and face up firmly against his back closely monitoring the situation and  capturing the image of Dumfers bulging crotch above the exposed buttocks of Mint. "Just a little first person action, dont mind me" Mint raised her hips forcing Dumfer to pry his attention from his own crotch for a moment watching as she swayed them from side to side her hips rocking rhythmically, her ass cheeks still red from skarpne's tail the ethereal moan that followed the strike still fresh in their memories Dumfer couldn't resist trying to draw forth more moans from her, raising his arm with his palm spread wide and flat putting as much of his strength as he could into the action trying to replicate Skarpne's tail lashing, bringing his hand down sharply across her rear his hand connecting with the already tender reddened skin a loud slap ringing out as flesh connected with flesh, her cheeks slapping against one another and another deep groan of pleasure sounding out this time captured for all on camera. "Aaaah.. D-dumfer" Mint said softly, arching her back and raising her ass up to prepare herself for more pressing her chest and face into the beds surface subserviently "m-more... h-harder!! smack my ass!" she cried out, her flesh quivering from receiving the firm hand of a dominant Dumfer, her mouth hanging open as she breathes heavily from her ever increasing arousal Dumfer only to happy to indulge her, putting as much force as he could into each swing of his open palm, repeatedly slapping across her cheeks making sure to hit the same spot each time with his punishing strikes it doesn't take long before the pale skin of the gamer is glowing bright red each slap bringing with it a throaty moan from rooted deep within. The final few spanks across her delicate abused cheeks only drawing forth silence  and the loud 'thwack' sound that accompanied the blows as her ass is struck, Mint squinting through hazy lustful eyes, her chin glistening with strands of drool as it trickles down over her minty green lips as they formed a depraved smile and her hips quivered uncontrollably. Feeling satisfied with his work on the beet root red gamers ass as she laid quivering, trying to ignore the presence of the  perverted parrot on his shoulder as her bosom squashed up against his back feeling a slight wetness as the porn addict alien drooled against him. Still Dumfer released his belt the zipper on his pants sliding down itself as his cock pushed so firmly against the inside its length hungry for freedom, with one smooth tug of his zipper 'little' Dumfer burst forth his erection now protruding from his pants, only his briefs covering his manhood the crotch of his underwear soaking wet and the usually snug fitting underwear stretched out, tugging them down revealing the full length of his throbbing hard cock its length springing free before the scrutiny of the camera, Dumfer pushing the precum soaked underwear below his pair of heavy cum filled balls  his length standing tall and pulsating proudly ,the sight of his engorged cock making Skarpne drool like a faucet against his back restraint not being one of her strong points as she just wanted to claim such a fearsome erection for herself and devour its length inside her.
Mint still reeling from the intense spanking, unaware of just what had been unleashed behind her with her cheeks still throbbing with a delightfully stinging pain as a released Dumfer made his move, taking a hold of the string of her g-string and unlacing it at each side carefully peeling it from its snug place between her cheeks removing what little cover was masking Mint's backside before he seized a tight grasp on her exposed buns, invoking a deep little groan as he manhandled the sore gamers behind spreading her cheeks wide apart and angling his hips down towards her, guiding his massive erection between her cheeks, Mint seemingly freezing in place as she felt the impressive girth pressing against her, hot baited breathes drawn from her lungs as she surrendered her backside to Dumfer's will, breathing a sigh of relief as he passed over her tight pucker little rear entrance and rested his cock between her cheeks,a small squeak of disappointment radiating from Skarpne as she lurked behind he scenes, having just seemingly lost the anal scene in her porno. pressing Mints rump tightly around his shaft he preceded to 'hot dog' the alluring rear end of the gamer, his hips moving gently to and fro, sliding in and out of the soft flesh of her ass, hot precum staining her skin as Dumfer thrust against her, stroking off his length using her booty, Mint squirming around wildly beneath him, groaning as the veiny underbelly of his cock rubbed over her asshole with each motion, tormenting the poor girl to no end, the warmth of his precum flowing between her cheeks making her tingle finding her backside soon becoming a sticky mess around his member, each thrust of his hips making her ass jiggle and quake, further reddening the tender abused cheeks and a embarrassingly loud 'shlicking' sound accompanying his movements as sticky flesh teased and mingled against one another with the vast amounts of precum Dufmer let out a heavy sigh, he fucked the enormous soft cheeks with wild abandon but it just wasn't enough, he craved more, he ached for more, with her entire body on offer he couldn't be simply satisfied stroking himself off with her ass, his hands freed Mints sore behind, a pair of hand prints lingering for a moment on her pale flesh  before fading away. Leaning back against the buxom Skarpne he panted, regaining his stamina as his shaft slowly peeled itself from Mints rump, thicks strands of precum trailing from his length to her skin leaving behind a lewd trail of pleasure in his wake "Mint.. your body is too much to resist, i need to feel your tight little cunt wrapped around my shaft... my cock is like a creeper, it just wants to explode" Dumfer parted briefly from between the position wedged between Skarpne and Mint,  first hastily removing his own clothing to free up his movements stripping naked before the camera, Skarpne having slipped off the bed and taken up location beside the TV, looking over the full length of Mints body with a stripping Dumfer in the background, watching as he clambered back onto the bed beside Mint taking a firm hold, grasping her tightly by her hips his fingers grabbing handfuls of her flesh as he rolled the gamer onto her back, Mint accepting whatever compromising position she was put into even with Dumfer making his lustful intentions quite clear. With only Mints butt cheeks currently exposed Dumfer worked to free up some of the clothing that stood in his way, placing his hands on her thighs prying her legs apart and taking his place between them kneeling before her crotch her silver gaming charms rattling against one another as he worked the notch of her belt, feeling the heat radiating from her, quickly taking notice of the state of her pants the front of them being completely soaked from her excitement. Dumfer looked up over her body, her perky bust proudly shimmying before him only able to catch a glimpse of her face past her bust. Skarpne spotted Dumfer eying the perfectly formed bust of the gamer, lending a helping hand she leaned over mint extending her hand to take the hem of her top tugging the gaming branded top up to reveal Mints cleavage snugly tucked into the confines of her green and white striped brassiere showing an impressive cleavage as the bra emphasized her assets nicely, the top left loosely hanging below her wrists caught along with the game pad . "how do you like them pixels?" skarpne asked rhetorically, giving the gamers chest a playful squeeze before returning to her place as camera girl, a soft gasp slipping from Mint's lips in response to the teasing squeeze.
Dumfer gave a perverted smile, unable to deny his love for the perfect pair of breasts, their pale silky soft flesh jiggling in the confines of her bra he admired them as he continued tugging at her clothes working the tight fitting pants over the luscious curves of her hips, sliding them down over her long shapely legs with her socks getting swept away along with her pants as they parted from their owner, discarded over the side of the bed Dumfer ran his fingers up along Mints slender shins, moving up her legs slowly following their delicate curves back up to the full hips of the gamer, finally able to see just how much of an effect the teasing had on her body. Between the thighs of the gamer lay a sticky passionate mess, awash with her own personal love juices she had completely soaked her entire crotch in girl cum, the juices overflowing down her thighs and down she lay on her back it trickled down to the crack of her ass. The cause of the lustful mess had been the constant teasing with the dominant spanking that Dumfer delivered to the masochistic gamer at some point bringing her to orgasm, quite possibly multiple times from the thoroughly soaked condition of her thighs, all that remained covering her modesty was her g-string, its sides already unstrung the only thing keeping it in place over Mints pussy was the vast amount of cum, the little triangle of material stuck in place over her privates.
Dumfer stared down at the tiny little scrap of green and white striped material, just it between him and his conquest he reached down to peel the undergarment from her lips but as he pinched the corner Mints thick thighs came clenching together, trapping the g-string in place and denying Dumfers entry, even the submissive Mint hesitant about being stripped naked and her pussy being exposed. Skarpne couldn't help smirk as Dumfers access was denied, a wicked smile forming on her lips "Poor Dumfer ... and after you graciously gave her a pair of buttocks redder than a pikachu's cheeks" Dumfer now wrestled with Mint's hips, having to face her shy submissive gaze as he pried her thighs apart forcing her legs open to once more reveal her cum soaked crotch and g-string as it made its last stand, Dumfer grabbing the loose hanging strings of her mint striped underwear and with a swift tug parted it from her tender lips, Mint's juices dripping from the panties before they were discarded over the side of the bed and his fingers ran across her trembling wet lips , a moan of delight slipping from her lips as he caressed her tender petals. "Aaah! D-dumfer.. D- " Mint bit her bottom lip as she chose her words carefully "F-fuck me Dumfer, show me what that proud looking Metapod can do" she couldn't help as her lips curled into the slightest smile pressing her hips up against Dumfers curious fingers, her breasts heaving and her arms bound above her head, she was under his control her masochistic nature loving his firm grasp which kept her pinned in such an embarrassing exposed position. "Mint .. " Dumfer paused as he looked over the now cock hungry gamer, his fingers tentatively stroking at her soaking wet pussy lips before prying them open, peering inside her intimate little fuck hole, her cum stringing between her lips as they are spread wide open "i-it already used harden five times.. but i think it knows some other moves" and taking his length in hand Dumfer guided its swollen head towards her glistening lips, looking into her lustful gaze as she stares at him one last time before forcing himself roughly between her thighs and stuffing the tip of his cock into her exposed pussy, letting her puffy lips wrap around him gradually teasing his length inside her warm welcoming snatch.
As Dumfer penetrated the Mint green haired gamer she writhed and wriggling about the bed, her muffled cries echoing throughout the room as Dumfer stretched her pussy around his dick, teasingly sliding inch after inch of his throbbing veiny shaft between her lips forcing them to gape wide open around his impressive girth and the tight folds of her pussy stretching around him as he presses himself further inside, her hot nectar filled cunt clinging tensely around him squeezing down fiercely around his manhood, wringing out his length for every drop of pleasure beginning to wonder when it will end as his rod delves ever deeper and deeper into her core before feeling him reaching towards her cervix, his cock slamming up against the entrance to her womb she groans and gasps, breathing a sigh of relief as she feels his hips pinning against her own, haven taken every last inch she looks to him, no longer fearing being skewered on his immeasurable length. Skarpne just stared on jealously through the camera, drooling like a hungry animal waiting for its next meal it felt unnatural for her to simply sit by the action, but still she resisted, zooming in close as Mint took Dumfers entire length of hard cock, his entire length soaked in her juices she watched as he began to withdraw his hips, drawing his length from her capturing the erotic sound of their fluids mixing, her girl-cum with his own precum juices mixing and suctioning around him making a loud sloppy sound of flesh on flesh as he dragged himself free of her clinging cunny "A-Aaaah! Ah D-dumfer.. give it to mee!" Mint exclaimed as she ached at the void his cock left within her, Dumfer only answering with the sharp whip like thrust of his hips,  suddenly thrusting the entirety of his length into her in one smooth well lubricated motion, taking the gamer once more, slowly fucking the needy little sub with his hips working in a piston like motion driving himself in and out of Mint, her wrists turning red as she struggled in her bindings only able to peer down over her full bust as it bounced in her brassiere with each thrust, a naked Dumfer between her legs helping himself to her pussy making her tremble with excitement. "H-harder.. Fuck me harder Dumfer!!" Dumfer looked up to her as she pleaded for more, her face flushed with excitement and each word stammering around the moans of pleasure, her hips bucking up against Dumfer's cock hungry for more, he tightened his grip on her hips, raising them up level with his crotch and slamming his length into her fucking her with increased speed and passion, hammering his cock home between her soaking wet thighs her body quaking with each penetrating thrust. Skarpne kept a close eye on the action through the view of the camcorders screen, watching a sex frenzied Dumfer ravage the hungry little cunt of the slutty submissive gamer his hips thrusting away driving his entire length between Mint's thighs, pounding against her cum soaked flesh furiously, his immense girthy member stuffing her tight little fuck hole full to the brim forcing every last inch of his throbbing meat inside her, it drawing ever closer and closer to release as it grinded through the tight walls of her cunt stretching her hole wide around his thickness. Each and every thrust of Dumfer's hips bringing forth a lewd cry of pleasure from her, Mints orgasms pooling on the bed beneath her ass they could only guess how many times she had cum, her rear end paddling in the juices as she was ploughed relentlessly, only cumming more as her body was used for the delight of others, looking to the camera moaning unashamedly. "H-harder!" she cried, Dumfer already giving his all to fuck the cum flooded fuck hole her entire body quaking as they entered the final stretch, Dumfer aching to cum, his balls and massive meat rod burning up with immense heat and pent up lust driving as deep as possible with each and every thrust of his hips. "Mint! I'm gonna...cum!" Dumfer moaned out, not even considering pulling out of her hot little cum flooded cunt, only thrusting harder driving as deep as his cock would go before unleashing his orgasm a load groan of pleasure as he felt sweet release, blowing his massive load directly between Mint's thighs pumping a fresh load of bubbling hot spunk into her pussy and womb, this viscous thick load quickly overwhelming her, Mint now screaming and wailing like a banshee from the pleasure of being so thoroughly filled with Dumfer's seed, her middle  bloating slightly as her womb is quickly overflowing, sloshing with a full load of cum inside her Dumfer pulled himself free from her lips, a final stream of cum firing off across Mints midriff and her used up hole overflowed with his cum, it pouring out over her thighs as they both panted and laid out across the bed, the pair sex weary and sticky. Skarpne closed the camcorders screen and set it down on the dresser beside them, a wild look in her eyes her fingers idly teasing the zipper on her hoodie. "So .." she begins as she tugs down the zipper, her hoodie prying open her massive breasts bouncing free "shall we begin on the sequel right now?" Skarpne asked with a cackling tone, hungry for sex and porn.
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The sun crept over the horizon, decided to make a run for it, and began to rise. But it would be some time before its slow light rolled across the sleeping Disc, herding the night ahead of it, and nocturnal shadows still ruled the city. They clustered now around The Mended Drum in Filigree Street, foremost of the city's taverns. It was famed not for its beer, which looked like maiden's water and tasted like battery acid, but for its clientele. It was said that if you sat long enough in the Drum, then sooner or later every major hero on the Disc would steal your horse. The atmosphere inside was still loud with talk and heavy with smoke although the landlord was doing all those things landlords do when they think it's time to close, like turn some of the lights out, wind up the clock, put a cloth over the pumps and, just in case, check the whereabouts of their club with the nails hammered in it. Not that the customers were taking the slightest bit of notice, of course. To most of the Drum's clientele even the nailed club would have been considered a mere hint. However, they were sufficiently observant to be vaguely worried by the tall dark figure standing by the bar and drinking his way through its entire contents. Lonely, dedicated drinkers always generate a mental field which ensures complete privacy, but this particular one was radiating a kind of fatalistic gloom that was slowly emptying the bar. This didn't worry the barman, because the lonely figure was engaged in a very expensive experiment. Every drinking place throughout the multiverse has them – those shelves of weirdly-shaped, sticky bottles that not only contain exotically-named liquid, which is often blue or green, but also odds and ends that bottles of real drink would never stoop to contain, such as whole fruits, bits of twig and, in extreme cases, small drowned lizards. No-one knows why barmen stock so many, since they all taste like treacle dissolved in turpentine. It has been speculated that they dream of a day when someone will walk in off the street unbidden and ask for a glass of Peach Corniche with A Hint Of Mint and overnight the place will become somewhere To Be Seen At. The stranger was working his way along the row. WHAT is THAT GREEN ONE? The landlord peered at the label. 'It says it's Melon Brandy,' he said doubtfully. 'It says it's bottled by some monks to an ancient recipe,'he added. I WILL TRY IT. The man looked sideways at the empty glasses on the counter, some of them still containing bits of fruit salad, cherries on a stick and small paper umbrellas. 'Are you sure you haven't had enough?' he said. It worried him vaguely that he couldn't seem to make out the stranger's face. The glass, with its drink crystallising out on the sides, disappeared into the hood and came out again empty. No. WHAT is THE YELLOW ONE WITH THE WASPS IN IT? 'Spring Cordial, it says. Yes?' YES. AND THEN THE BLUE ONE WITH THE GOLD FLECKS. 'Er. Old Overcoat?' YES. AND THEN THE SECOND ROW. 'Which one did you have in mind?' ALL OF THEM. The stranger remained bolt upright, the glasses with their burdens of syrup and assorted vegetation disappearing into the hood on a production line basis. This is it, the landlord thought, this is style, this is where I buy a red jacket and maybe put some monkey nuts and a few gherkins on the counter, get a few mirrors around the place, replace the sawdust. He picked up a beer-soaked cloth and gave the woodwork a few enthusiastic wipes, speading the drips from the cordial glasses into a rainbow smear that took the varnish off. The last of the usual customers put on his hat and staggered out, muttering to himself. I DON'T SEE THE POINT, the stranger said. 'Sorry?' WHAT is SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN? 'How many drinks have you had?' FORTY-SEVEN. 'Just about anything, then,' said the barman and, because he knew his job and knew what was expected of him when people drank alone in the small hours, he started to polish a glass with the slops cloth and said, 'Your lady thrown you out, has she?' PARDON? 'Drowning your sorrows, are you?' I HAVE NO SORROWS. 'No, of course not. Forget I mentioned it.' He gave the glass a few more wipes. 'Just thought it helps to have someone to talk to,' he said. The stranger was silent for a moment, thinking. Then he said: You WANT TO TALK TO ME? 'Yes. Sure. I'm a good listener.' NO-ONE EVER WANTED TO TALK TO ME BEFORE. 'That's a shame.' THEY NEVER INVITE ME TO PARTIES, YOU KNOW. 'Tch.' THEY ALL HATE ME. EVERYONE HATES ME. I DONT HAVE A SINGLE FRIEND. 'Everyone ought to have a friend,' said the barman sagely. I THINK — 'Yes?' I THINK . . . I THINK I COULD BE FRIENDS WITH THE GREEN BOTTLE. The landlord slid the octagon-bottle along the counter. Death took it and tilted it over the glass. The liquid tinkled on the rim. YOU DRUNK I'M THINK, DON'T YOU? 'I serve anyone who can stand upright best out of three,' said the landlord. YOURRRE ABSOROOTLY RIGHT. BUT I — The stranger paused, one declamatory finger in the air. WAS WHAT I SAYING? 'You said I thought you were drunk.' AH. YES, BUT I CAN BE SHOBER ANY TIME I LIKE. THIS ISH AN EXPERIMENT. AND NOW I WOULD LIKES TO EXPERIMENT WITH THE ORANGE BRANDY AGAIN. The landlord sighed, and glanced at the clock. There was no doubt that he was making a lot of money, especially since the stranger didn't seem inclined to worry about overcharging or short change. But it was getting late; in fact it was getting so late that it was getting early. There was also something about the solitary customer that unsettled him. People in The Mended Drum often drank as though there was no tomorrow, but this was the first time he'd actually felt they might be right. I MEAN, WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO? WHERE'S THE SENSE IN IT ALL? WHAT IS IT REALLY ALL ABOUT? 'Can't say, my friend. I expect you'll feel better after a good night's sleep.' SLEEP? SLEEP? I NEVER SLEEP. I'M WOSSNAME, PROVERBIAL FOR IT. 'Everyone needs their sleep. Even me,' he hinted. THEY ALL HATE ME, YOU KNOW. 'Yes, you said. But it's a quarter to three.' The stranger turned unsteadily and looked around the silent room. THERE'S NO-ONE IN THE PLACE BUT YOU AND I, he said. The landlord lifted up the flap and came around the bar, helping the stranger down from his stool. I HAVEN'T GOT A SINGLE FRIEND. EVEN CATS FIND ME AMUSING. A hand shot out and grabbed a bottle of Amanita Liquor before the man managed to propel its owner to the door, wondering how someone so thin could be so heavy. I DON'T HAVE TO BE DRUNK, I SAID. WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE TO BE DRUNK? IS IT FUN? 'Helps them forget about life, old chap. Now just you lean there while I get the door open —' FORGET ABOUT LIFE. HA. HA. 'You come back any time you like, y'hear?' YOU'D REALLY LIKE TO SEE ME AGAIN? The landlord looked back at the small heap of coins on the bar. That was worth a little weirdness. At least this one was a quiet one, and seemed to be harmless. 'Oh, yes,' he said, propelling the stranger into the street and retrieving the bottle in one smooth movement. 'Drop in anytime.' THAT'S THE NICEHEST THING — The door slammed on the rest of the sentence. Ysabell sat up in bed. The knocking came again, soft and urgent. She pulled the covers up to her chin. 'Who is it?' she whispered. 'It's me, Mort,' came the hiss under the door. 'Let me in, please!' 'Wait!' Ysabell scrambled frantically on the bedside table for the matches, knocking over a bottle of toilet water and dislodging a box of chocolates that was now mostly discarded wrappers. Once she'd got the candle alight she adjusted its position for maximum effect, tweaked the line of her nightdress into something more revealing, and said: 'It's not locked.' Mort staggered into the room, smelling of horses and frost and scumble. 'I hope,' said Ysabell archly, 'that you have not forced your way in here in order to take advantage of your position in this household.' Mort looked around him. Ysabell was heavily into frills. Even the dressing table seemed to be wearing a petticoat. The whole room wasn't so much furnished as lingeried. 'Look, I haven't got time to mess around,' he said. 'Bring that candle into the library. And for heaven's sake put on something sensible, you're overflowing.' Ysabell looked down, and then her head snapped up. 'Well!' Mort poked his head back round the door. 'It's a matter of life and death,' he added, and disappeared. Ysabell watched the door creak shut after him, revealing the blue dressing gown with the tassels that Death had thought up for her as a present last Hogswatch and which she hadn't the heart to throw away, despite the fact that it was a size too small and had a rabbit on the pocket. Finally she swung her legs out of bed, slipped into the shameful dressing gown, and padded out into the corridor. Mort was waiting for her. 'Won't father hear us?' she said. 'He's not back. Come on.' 'How can you tell?' 'The place feels different when he's here. It's – it's like the difference between a coat when it's being worn and when it's hanging on a hook. Haven't you noticed?' 'What are we doing that's so important?' Mort pushed open the library door. A gust of warm, dry air drifted out, and the door hinges issued a protesting creak. 'We're going to save someone's life,' he said. 'A princess, actually.' Ysabell was instantly fascinated. 'A real princess? I mean can she feel a pea through a dozen mattresses?' 'Can she —?' Mort felt a minor worry disappear. 'Oh. Yes. I thought Albert had got it wrong.' 'Are you in love with her?' Mort came to a standstill between the shelves, aware of the busy little scritchings inside the book covers. 'It's hard to be sure,' he said. 'Do I look it?' 'You look a bit flustered. How does she feel about you?' 'Don't know.' 'Ah,' said Ysabell knowingly, in the tones of an expert. 'Unrequited love is the worst kind. It's probably not a good idea to go taking poison or killing yourself, though,' she added thoughtfully. 'What are we doing here? Do you want to find her book to see if she marries you?' 'I've read it, and she's dead,' said Mort. 'But only technically. I mean, not really dead.' 'Good, otherwise that would be necromancy. What are we looking for?' 'Albert's biography.' 'What for? I don't think he's got one.' 'Everyone's got one.' 'Well, he doesn't like people asking personal questions. I looked for it once and I couldn't find it. Albert by itself isn't much to go on. Why is he so interesting?' Ysabell lit a couple of candles from the one in her hand and filled the library with dancing shadows. 'I need a powerful wizard and I think he's one.' 'What, Albert?' 'Yes. Only we're looking for Alberto Malich. He's more than two thousand years old, I think.' 'What, Albert?' 'Yes. Albert.' 'He never wears a wizard's hat,' said Ysabell doubtfully. 'He lost it. Anyway, the hat isn't compulsory. Where do we start looking?' 'Well, if you're sure . . . the Stack, I suppose. That's where father puts all the biographies that are more than five hundred years old. It's this way.' She led the way past the whispering shelves to a door set in a cul-de-sac. It opened with some effort and the groan of the hinges reverberated around the library; Mort fancied for a moment that all the books paused momentarily in their work just to listen.
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