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wangxian-trash-cultivator · 4 years

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in the dark of the night

Summary: In which Wei Wuxian starts playing the ghost hunting simulation game Phasmophobia with Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, and Wen Ning and wakes up Lan Wangji by shouting like a baby about it in the middle of the night.

Rating: T || Word count: 2600 || Tropes/Genres: omg they were roommates; childhood friends; light fluff; pre-relationship wangxian; mutual pining

Notes: I haven't actually played this game, but my roommate had just started playing it and would tell me about it while showing me reaction videos. Paired with his screams in the middle of the night while playing... this fic was born. If you play, I apologize for any inaccuracies based on my limited knowledge base of the game mechanics!

Originally created this as a twitter thread fic and adapted it for AO3. Come say hello on twitter! I’m in the process of converting other threadfics over. This is part of my omg they were roommates AU series. Enjoy!

AO3 Link || Original Twitter Thread

It’s been 1 month and Lan Wangji has gotten used to the fact that Wei Wuxian stays up late.

He’s always been a night owl.

Growing up it wasn’t uncommon for Lan Wangji to wake up to an explosion of text messages waiting for him. One sided conversations Wei Wuxian would have, mostly nonsense. The occasional existential crisis.

That was just the way he was. A supernova of constant energy, thoughts always rushing at a million miles a minute.

So yes, Lan Wangji had an idea of what Wei Wuxian’s ‘sleeping habits’ were like when they moved in together.

They’re respectful of each other’s complete opposite schedules. Well, Lan Wangji is always respectful. He goes about his morning routines in a comfortable silence, taking care not to disturb Wei Wuxian while he sleeps until noon most days.

Some days he disturbs the curated silence though.

He takes his guqin out onto the balcony with his morning tea, plucks out gentle melodies and hums along wordlessly. It’s a good way to start the day.

For the most part Wei Wuxian has been pretty subdued.

On two occasions Lan Wangji had woken at 2am to Wei Wuxian crawling into his bed, the scent of rice wine heavy enough on his breath to make even Lan Wangji dizzy.

The conversations were still one sided, with Wei Wuxian saying anything to come to mind as he nestled in close and asked to be held. So Lan Wangji would silently hold him, wondering if Wei Wuxian could decipher the morse code messages his pounding hard was sending.

He never could.

Only in the last week had Wei Wuxian really started disturbing Lan Wangji’s sleep schedule though.

The first incident occurred on Sunday night.

Lan Wangji had woken to the sounds of shouting and stumbled to Wei Wuxian’s room, bleary eyed and disheveled, only to find him glued to his laptop with a gaming headset on.

“No no no— fuck fuck FUCK! I’m dead, it got me. Hello? Hellooooooo? Can anyone hear me? I’m— oh, Lan Zhan, I’m sorry! Did I wake you up?”

Lan Wangji soundlessly looked between the laptop and Wei Wuxian before returning to bed. Then it happened again the next night. And the night after that. After the fourth night, Lan Wangji finally had enough.

It’s nearly 1 o’clock in the afternoon when Wei Wuxian shuffles into the kitchen the next day, bed head wild, rubbing his eyes.

Lan Wangji’s chest thrums. He allows himself to be distracted for only a moment before remembering he’s mad at him and they need to have a talk.

“Good mor-mor—” Wei Wuxian interrupts himself with a loud yawn. ‘Ning, Lan Zhan’

“Wei Ying, it’s no longer morning.”

Wei Wuxian gives him a sleepy smile and pours a bowl of cereal. It’s hard to scold him when he looks this adorable. But Lan Wangji’s entire routine has been upended for the past few days. He needs to put his foot down.

“Lan Zhan, you’re staring at me.”

“I am not.”

He is.

“Oooookay, whatever you say,” Wei Wuxian says. “Sorry for waking you again last night, that game is just scary sometimes.”

“Why do you play it then?”

“A-Ning didn’t want to play it alone,” Wei Wuxian shrugs.

Lan Wangji’s chest feels warm again. Of course Wei Wuxian would do something like that.

“I made Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang join us too.”

And then his heart sinks for some reason. Wei Wuxian hadn’t asked him to play with them. Lan Wangji doesn’t even have any games on his own laptop, only really uses it for work and watching cooking tutorials.

He has no reason to be jealous over their little group. But he is.

“What is the game?” Lan Wangji asks.

“You wouldn’t like it,” Wei Wuxian says, amused twinkle in his eyes.

“What is it?”

“It’s a ghost hunting game.”

Lan Wangji stares at him. Wei Wuxian is someone who still sleeps with a nightlight on and rushes up flights stairs in the middle of the night like he is being chased by something. Is he serious right now?

“Wei Ying, you are terrified of such things.”

“Yeah, but it’s fun to play with them,” Wei Wuxian laughs. “Even you might enjoy it.”

Well, what’s that supposed to mean?

“Okay, I will play too then,” Lan Wangji says. Wei Wuxian blinks, looks at him like he hasn’t heard right.

“Really?”

“Mn. Install it for me.”

Later that night they are sitting in their own bedrooms. Wei Wuxian explained that the mic feedback would echo if they were in the same room, plus it was a better ambiance for the game if they were separated. So Lan Wangji agreed.

Lan Wangji is wearing a headset he borrowed from Wei Wuxian and listening to Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, Wen Ning, and Wei Wuxian chatter in the discord voice channel.

He has no clue what they hell they're talking about.

Something about sanity. Jiang Cheng is telling Wei Wuxian not to turn all the lights on in the house again unless they want to die.

It's been fifteen minutes and they haven't even started playing yet. They're all too busy bickering amongst each other.

“Lan Zhan are you still on? I can't hear you,” Wei Wuxian asks.

“Yes.”

“Do you understand what to do?” Nie Huaisang asks.

Is he supposed to? All they've done is spoken in circles about various items. Lan Wangji tuned out after Wen Ning said oiuja board 4 times.

“I will follow Wei Ying.”

“No, we have to split up and search! The ghost only shows up if you're in a room alone,” Jiang Cheng says.

“Lan Zhan it's ok, follow me until you get the hang of it. I'll tell you what to do," Wei Wuxian says brightly.

“Whatever, let's just start,” Jiang Cheng grumbles.

Lan Wangji wonders exactly how fun this could possibly be if Jiang Cheng is already sounding so aggravated. Until he remembers one of Wei Wuxian's favourite things to do is provoke and tease him.

“Here Lan Zhan, use the thermometer to search for the ghost, it's the most important role!" Wei Wuxian says.

“No it isn't!” Jiang Cheng argues.

“Shhhhh, stop shouting, the lights will start flickering!” Wen Ning chimes in.

The mechanics are clunky. The graphics are definitely nothing special. Lan Wangji really doesn't understand what could possibly be so scary about the game as they shuffle around the little house. Their characters are merging through the doors, for god's sake.

After another fifteen minutes of investigating Wei Wuxian says they should actually split up. So Lan Wangji wanders around the basement and points the thermometer at random objects.

The voice channel is buzzing with their conversation but Lan Wangji notices something strange. It actually sounds like they're speaking to each other from varying distances. Wei Wuxian sounds slightly muffled and quiet, but he can still hear him pretty clearly.

The others, he can barely hear. Even though they are obviously shouting in to their mics

Lan Wangji doesn't use discord, so he figures maybe it's just some sort of technical error and chooses not to address it.

And he's really still not getting the hang of this game.

Bored with wandering around the basement, he goes back upstairs to find Wei Wuxian. The sound of heartbeats floods his ears, catching him by surprise.

“I hear something,” Lan Wangji says quietly.

No one responds.

“Wei Ying?”

No answer.

Lan Wangji frowns and then realizes that his character is locked in the basement now. He removes the headset and goes to Wei Wuxian's room.

“The lights are off, the lights are off! Fuckkkkk I'm so fucked, I'm so—”

Lan Wangji taps him on the shoulder and Wei Wuxian screams.

Lan Wangji jumps and takes a step back as Wei Wuxian rips his headphones off.

“Lan Zhan! What the fuck, you can't scare me like that!" Wei Wuxian is near tears and breathing heavily.

Lan Wangji's heart lurches, he really didn't mean to do that.

“I am sorry,” he says quietly.

“It's fine, it's fine,” Wei Wuxian waves his hand and then rests it against his chest. “Why did you come in?”

“I think my microphone is broken, no one could hear me, and I could not hear anyone.”

“Ahhh, yes that's part of the game. I should have told you that, I'm sorry.”

“And I was locked in the basement. Do you have the key to let me out?”

Lan Wangji doesn't really understand the look Wei Wuxian is giving him. Really, it looks like he's about to start crying again.

“The doors lock sometimes, it's the ghost fucking with everyone. If you start to panic that's when it kills you.”

“Oh, I see,” Lan Wangji says and looks at Wei Wuxian's screen. “I will return to my room then.”

As he turns Wei Wuxian's fingers close gently around his wrist. He is giving him that look again.

“Lan Zhan, are you having fun?”

So far, he's felt like the only one that doesn't understand an inside joke between friends. But Wei Wuxian looks so... hopeful.

“Yes, Wei Ying. I think I understand better now.”

The smile that Wei Wuxian gives him makes Lan Wangji's knees weak.

So what if he doesn't understand a single thing about this game. If stumbling through it makes Wei Wuxian smile at him like that, he'll gladly break his routine to play it with him. As the night goes on, Lan Wangji does start to get the hang of it.

In fact, he starts to take it pretty seriously.

During one game he's the only one to keep a level head when the silhouette of a ghost child starts appearing through the flickering lights.

Wei Wuxian dies during every game they play.

The second anything starts to happen, he immediately begins babbling into the mic and Lan Wangji can hear his fingers smashing against the keys as he forces his character to run.

He's singled out every time.

Even as Lan Wangji chases Wei Wuxian's character around in an attempt to draw the ghost's attention away and save him, he's always silent on his own mic so the ghost ignores him.

In order to draw it away, he would have to start panicking more than Wei Wuxian.

He hasn't spoken much at all during any of their games, always unable to make himself heard over the rest of them.

But Wei Wuxian keeps dying. And he feels bad. He wants to help.

So during the next game when they learn the ghost's name Lan Wangji makes the decision to draw it out.

Before he does so he approaches Wei Wuxian's character and drops some smudge sticks, which gives their characters more time to hide when being hunted by a ghost, at his feet.

“Wei Ying, take these.”

“Lan Zhan I already have some! Use them for yourself.”

“You always run out of them, take mine.”

“Are you two done courting each other? We have a ghost to hunt,” Jiang Cheng says loudly.

“You're just jealous you don't have a friend as good to you as Lan Zhan is to me!” Wei Wuxian replies.

Lan Wangji has to cover his mic with his hand so no one hears the content little sigh that escapes his lips.

“Are we splitting up now?” Nie Huaisang asks.

“I'll take upstairs,” Jiang Cheng announces and disappears.

Lan Wangji continues following Wei Wuxian around when everyone else splits up. By now he has figured out that the thing that makes the ghost pursue someone is linked to low sanity levels in the game.

Shouting, cursing, crying— all of the things Wei Wuxian does— means his sanity levels are constantly near 0.

Ways to offset this and preserve sanity without having to take a sanity tablet include having their characters stay in well-lit areas or return to the van outside. But when Wei Wuxian is running away he doesn't think logically. And they can't carry sanity tablets around all the time, they need the inventory for other items.

“Lan Zhan, why are you following me?” Wei Wuxian asks after five minutes

Lan Wangji doesn't say anything at first until he's sure he can't hear the others.

“To protect Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan”' Wei Wuxian laughs. “It's just a game.”

It's well past Lan Wangji's bedtime. He might be a little loopy with sleep deprivation.

“Shhh, I will draw it out. Wei Ying, hide with the camera when I do.”

“Lan Zhan, are you sacrificing yourself for me?”

“....Mn.”

Wei Wuxian's laughter rings out again over the mic and Lan Wangji keeps shushing him.

Doesn't he realize the more noise he makes that he's going to be the one to draw the ghost's attention then?

How is Lan Wangji supposed to do this if Wei Wuxian won't cooperate?

“Ahhh Lan Zhan, you're too much for me.”

“Wei Ying, this is very serious.”

“Yes, of course, of course!”

An abrupt hissing noise echoes in the headset. Lan Wangji listens calmly, but Wei Wuxian must have heard it in his headset too because he screeches loudly.

God, he's hopeless.

“Lan Zhan! Did you hear that? Save me, Lan Zhan!”

“Wei Ying needs to be quiet first!” Lan Wangji raises his voice for the first time all night.

Their combined chatter makes the ghost slam a door nearby as the lights start flickering. Wei Wuxian screams again. Lan Wangji can't hear the others at all. Not a good sign.

“Wei Ying, use a smudge stick and hide!” Lan Wangji shouts into the mic and then starts repeating the ghost's name to draw it out as he runs down the hallway.

It doesn't take long before two dead hands appear on Lan Wangji's screen, indicating the ghost has killed him. From the other room he can hear Wei Wuxian dramatically shouting.

“Lan Zhan! Your death will not be in vain!”

Combined with the lack of sleep it's enough to make Lan Wangji start laughing deliriously.

After the rest of them regroup to call it to call it a night Wei Wuxian barges into Lan Wangji's room, positively beaming at him.

“I can't believe you sacrificed yourself for me.”

“You are not very good at this game. Someone had to help.”

Wei Wuxian's laughter rings out bright and warm as he falls onto Lan Wangji's lap and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“My hero,” Wei Wuxian says.

Lan Wangji's heart pumps out another morse code message.

He has no idea what to do with his hands. Should he wrap an arm around Wei Wuxian's waist?

They've been friends since childhood. They hug all the time, Wei Wuxian loves to hug. They've shared beds together.

Hell, this isn't even the first time he's had Wei Wuxian draped over him like this. He decides to grip the armrests on the chair instead.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asks, uncharacteristically low and soft. It's almost a whisper, but not quite.

“Mn?”

“Can I sleep in here tonight?”

“Are you frightened?” Lan Wangji teases.

“What if I am?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Lan Wangji looks up at him. He's seen Wei Wuxian scared out of his wits plenty of times. That's not the expression he's wearing now. But Lan Wangji doesn't question it. Wouldn't dare question him.

“Then I will protect you, Wei Ying. I will always protect you.”

#wangxian #wei ying #lan zhan #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #nie huiasang #wen ning #phasmophobia #wangxian fic #omg they were roommates #wangxian trash #the untamed fanfiction #mdzs #ghost hunting #pre-relationship

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begluketostay · 4 years

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distractions // luke mini series pt 2

distractions - luke mini series pt 1

Word Count: 4.2k

Rating: M (18+)

Keywords: smut, bestfriend!luke

Summary: You’ve loved Luke for as long as you’ve known him. When he gets back from tour, it’s getting harder and harder to live with never being able to have what’s right in front of you. You know you can stay strong, you just need some distractions.

Wattpad Link

A/N: if you haven’t read the first part, i’ve linked it above! this is a mini series so it will have 4-5 parts total. enjoy!!

Your phone buzzes with yet another text from Luke, one of many that you’ve opened and found yourself unable to answer. You know it’s not fair, but you can’t stand to look at him after seeing those pictures and reading those texts.

It’s entirely hypocritical of you to be upset, because you’ve been doing your own share of sleeping around while he’s been gone, but that’s not the same. You’re in love with Luke, so of course it hurts you that he’s been sleeping with other girls. But Luke isn’t in love with you, so it doesn’t matter that you’ve been doing the same.

You still don’t want him to know about Hunter though, and you tell yourself it’s solely because you know that he and Hunter have some weird tension between them leftover from some stupid fight years ago.

Hunter has always been a player, using girls for his pleasure and dumping them whenever he’s done. You weren’t a fan of the way he played the heartstrings of girls, but he was still a good guy and the two of you always got along. There were no feelings between the two of you - you both knew you were using each other and agreed to it from the start.

You used him to numb and distract yourself from Luke and he used you for sexual pleasure. It was a bit unconventional, but it worked. Everyone was happy.

Except you weren’t really happy. It’s still never enough for you. There’s no love, no emotional connection. Just raw, rough sex that leaves you feeling slightly empty afterwards.

But it’s still something.

You open your messages with Luke, scrolling up and rereading all the texts he’s sent you the past few days.

You’re right, I’m really regretting those last few drinks lol

Are you awake?

Y/N?

Hellooooooo

Is something wrong?

…. I’m guessing something is wrong

Did I do something to upset you last night?

Can you please just fucking answer me

Okay, I get it, you’re not talking to me

Y/N

You feel guilty, but you just can’t bring yourself to answer him. You’ve never been good at dealing with unpleasant emotions, choosing to ignore them and pretend they don’t exist rather than confronting them.

It was easy when Luke was on tour. You missed him, of course, but it was easy to ignore the fact that he wasn’t exactly being celibate when you didn’t have to look him in the eye every day and feel that twist in your stomach.

You’re so glad he’s back, but you didn’t expect it to be so painful. Why is it so hard to be around him all of the sudden?

Your phone lights up with a call, and you turn your volume off so you don’t have to listen to the music ring throughout your empty apartment as you ignore it once more.

There’s a banging against the door, and you nearly jump out of your seat on the couch.

“I know you’re in there!” Luke’s voice calls. “I could hear your phone ringing.”

You could keep ignoring him, pretend to be asleep maybe. But then it would become an even bigger thing that you would eventually have to explain and you think maybe you can just play it off if you answer the door now and act like nothing’s wrong.

You adjust your pajama shorts as you pad over to the door, looking through the peephole and seeing Luke’s face. He looks more well-rested than when you last saw him. The bags under his eyes are nearly gone, but he looks jittery and distraught.

When you open the door, he just stands there, almost surprised that you’re letting him in. He takes a few steps forward, trying to figure out his words. He didn’t expect to get this far.

“Are you okay?” he settles on asking, his first priority to check on you. “Did something happen?”

You shrug, looking down at your feet as you lean against the counter.

“Did I say something that night, at the party?” he presses. “I know you’ve been ignoring me.”

You groan, turning and heading toward your couch where you curl up in the spot you’d been occupying moments before, throwing the blanket back over your bare legs.

“No, you didn’t say anything wrong Luke. I’ve just been dealing with some stuff,” you shrug nonchalantly.

“Just dealing with some stuff?” he asks incredulously. “You couldn’t have answered a single one of my texts or calls to tell me that?”

“Not sure why I have to keep you updated on my every move.”

“Ugh,” he groans frustratedly, running his hands through his long curls. “I just wanted to see you, to make sure you’re okay. I missed you while I was gone and I was excited to see you and now you’re just ignoring me and shutting me out and you won’t tell me why. You’re so… frustrating.”

He sits next to you on the couch, reaching for the blanket and throwing some of it over his legs after he takes his shoes off. Your legs touch underneath it, and you try to keep yourself from shivering.

“Look, Luke, I’m sorry you’re mad that I didn’t answer your texts right away, but I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit and I’m used to dealing with things on my own now. You’re always gone and I’m so proud that you get to go off touring the world and all, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t need your help with everything anymore.”

He frowns. He knows that he can’t blame you, but it hurts him when he realizes that you don’t really need him anymore. You used to come to him for everything and he was always there to comfort you, and now you won’t even tell him what’s wrong.

“Is it- is it something with Johnny?” he asks hesitantly, trying to get a feel for the cause of your distance from him.

Before Johnny had gotten so bad, the three of you used to be a little group. You loved the fact that your twin brother was your best friend, and Luke was always there with you too. Your parents had always referred to the three of you as the Three Musketeers.

But then Johnny fell in with a different crowd. Even though you loved him and trusted him and gave him endless chances, he became hostile towards you. He changed so quickly from your best friend into someone you barely recognized. You’d find him rifling through your room, searching for something he could sell to pay for his next fix. He’d pushed you so hard in a fight once that your head slammed into the wall and you’d ended up with a slight concussion.

Even still, you loved him and fought for him. You missed your brother. Your parents seemed to be giving up on him, but you really believed he could get clean. You could feel in your bones that he was strong enough to do it, he just needed someone to help him. And that person always ended up having to be you, because your mother could no longer be in the same room as him without crying and your father ended up in screaming matches with him whenever they spoke.

That’s why you had to fly home when he overdosed again a few weeks ago. You had to be the one to help him, because he had pushed everyone else away.

When he first started pushing you away in high school, you and Luke became much closer. You could no longer rely on your brother, and Luke was always there to lean on and to make up for it. Even though Luke and Johnny were once best friends, Luke found himself resenting him for putting you through so much.

He saw how many chances you gave Johnny, how much you believed in him and your willingness to help him, and Luke admired how big your heart was. But it pissed him off that Johnny took advantage of you over and over again, getting your hopes up only to let you down every time.

You close your eyes, not wanting to talk about Johnny with Luke at this moment.

“Johnny’s… fine,” you mumble. But you can tell he’s not satisfied with so little information. “Dumbass overdosed again a few weeks ago. My parents are fed up, they’re done with him, so I had to go back and help him get in somewhere.”

“I wish you would just tell me these things,” Luke sighs, and you notice him scoot a little closer to you on the couch. “How is he now?”

“Haven’t even heard from him,” you shrug, trying not to show the disappointment in your voice. “Is it bad that I’m starting to get a little fed up too? I mean, I know he can do it, but… he just doesn’t and it’s so frustrating. Especially since I’m paying for his treatments now, it’s just-”

“Wait, you’re paying for his rehab?” Luke interrupts, pulling back to look at you surprised. You nod. “I thought your parents were paying.”

“Not anymore. They cut him off. They’re done with his shit and they won’t give him any more money. And I don’t blame them,” you admit. You’ve thought about cutting him off too, but you’re not at that point yet.

You can see wheels spinning in Luke’s head and you know what he’s about to offer. “Please, let me help, it’s not fair that you have to pay for Johnny’s rehab when it’s his own damn fault he’s there in the first place.” You firmly reject the offer, shaking your head and moving away from him. “C’mon, Y/N, how are you even affording it?”

He doesn’t mean it in a bad way, he knows you make a decent income at your job, but not enough to single handedly fund Johnny’s rehab while also making your rent payments.

“I’m making it work, okay? I don’t need your money, I’m fine.”

“Is this why you’ve been ignoring me?” he asks, and while you know it’s not the truth, you know he’ll probably believe you, so you nod.

It’s better than telling him the real reason.

“Just been stressed about it all, you know how I shut down sometimes.”

And boy, does Luke know how you shut down. He’s worked so hard to get you to not push him away every time you do, and you two were doing pretty good with that until he’d left on his most recent tour.

“I know,” he mumbles, and under the blanket, he sets his hand down on your knee, stroking soft patterns with his thumb as a way of saying sorry. Sorry that you’ve been stressed, sorry that he’s been gone, and sorry that you have to go through so much.

“I’m gonna go get lunch with the boys in a little, you should come. Take your mind off things,” he suggests. “They’re bummed they didn’t get to see you much the other night.”

Lunch sounds good, and you do miss the rest of the boys, so you agree and get yourself dressed and ready and Luke drives the two of you over.

“Y/N!” Calum cheers as you walk in next to Luke. He stands up from his chair and hugs you. You’ve always loved Calum’s hugs, warm and inviting, and you realize just how much you’ve missed not only Luke, but all the boys that are sitting at the table in front of you. “We got bottomless mimosas for everyone,” he says as he releases you and you laugh.

They know you so well.

After more hugs and some catching up, you all sip on your drinks and chat. You’re surprised they have so much to talk about and are so excited to see each other since they’ve just been together for months on the road.

“I can’t believe you really jumped out of our hotel window,” Calum laughs, shaking his head as he recalls one of their wild nights in Amsterdam.

“You’re the one who dared me to do it!” Ashton yells, pointing a finger at Cal. “You knew I wouldn’t turn it down! It’s entirely your fault.”

You’re laughing with them over your drink, not at all shocked by all the crazy stories they’re telling.

“Wait, wait, when did you jump out of a window? I don’t remember that,” Luke laughs, looking around between the guys.

“You don’t remember because you weren’t there,” Ashton rolls his eyes. “You went home with some girl that night.” It’s said teasingly, just a friendly jab at Luke, but it feels like a stab to you and your heart speeds up a little. You definitely don’t want to hear about this, but you can’t stop yourself from listening closely to see if anything else about that night is said.

They’re all laughing, and Ashton is punching Luke’s shoulder, calling him a little tiger, and you’re sure no one has noticed how forced your laughter is until you see Calum is looking at you uncomfortably, a sympathetic look on his face.

You’re pretty sure Calum knows the extent of your feelings for Luke. He’d found you at a party last year, drowning your sorrows in your drinks as you’d watched Luke follow a pretty girl upstairs, and he’d held your hair back as you puked afterwards, drunkenly rambling about how unfair the world is. He never brought it up, but you know that he knows.

Calum easily changes the subject, glancing at you as he asks, “how were things around here while we were gone? You get bored without us?”

“Yeah, things were definitely not as exciting here as they apparently were for you guys,” you force a laugh, taking another sip of your mimosa and tipping it back until the last drop is gone. Michael hands you another one, and they start chanting for you to chug, and you oblige, laughing because of course they would make you chug a mimosa.

The rest of lunch is full of laughter as they all taunt and tease each other and make plans to go to the new bar in town tomorrow night, and you’re trying not to think too hard about what Ashton said about Luke. You briefly wonder how many girls he slept with while on this world tour, but you shake yourself out of that thought when Luke squeezes your thigh under the table, silently asking if you’re okay.

You know you’re going to need a distraction soon.

And if Luke is having sex with other people, then you will too.

-------------------------------------------

When you get back to your place after lunch, Luke throws himself onto your bed, turning on the TV and flicking through netflix to find something to watch. The two of you get under the covers and lay next to each other just closely enough to be considered cuddling, but far enough apart that anything romantic can still be denied.

You spend a few hours that way, your bodies scooting closer to each other as the time passes and Luke’s hand is lazily combing through your hair, lightly scratching your scalp every so often. It was times like these when you let your guard down and let yourself pretend that maybe, just maybe, he loves you too. Everything just feels so right when you’re laid together like this.

At one point, you thought maybe there was a chance.

While you’d always been close, you and Luke had been inseparable in the months leading up to their latest tour. The night before they left, you’d all been at Ashton’s with the boys and some of their friends for a small going away party. Towards the end of the night, the two of you had snuck away into the backyard and Luke held you in a tight hug, cradling your head, whispering how much he’ll miss you.

And when he looked in your eyes, you thought you saw something there. And when he leaned in, hope bubbled up in your throat. And when he kissed you, you thought this was finally it. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

But the next morning, he texted you, apologizing for stepping over a line and blamed it on all the champagne he’d had, and asked if you would just forget it ever happened.

And you agreed to forget about it, but you still haven’t been able to. Looking at him now starts to hurt again, being so close and knowing that you can’t have what you want.

Luke’s eyes are fluttered shut, his hand resting limply in your hair now that he’s fallen asleep. You sneak out of the bed and into the bathroom, shutting the door and sitting on the toilet as you text the person who can help distract you. It’s not long before you receive a text back.

come over whenever, i’ll get your mind off of him in no time

You brush your teeth before sneaking back to your room and quietly going through your drawers to find something to change into, making an effort to not wake up Luke. You grab a lace bra and some matching underwear out of your drawer, and of course Luke wakes up right then and sees them in your hands.

“Mmm, those are nice,” he mumbles, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “What are you doing with those?”

You blush and continue to go through your drawers to grab a pair of leggings and a tee to throw on over them, saying, “just changing.”

“Into those?” his eyebrow raises. “What for?”

“Just going to meet up with someone,” you reply. It’s vague, but you know he’ll know what you mean, and you don’t particularly feel the need to hide the fact that you’re going to see a guy right now when you know he’s been having one night stands all the way across Europe.

You watch Luke’s eyes as he looks from the nice underwear set in your hands and back to your face, seeing him realize that you’re not just going to meet up with someone, you’re going to meet up with someone for sex.

“What do you mean ‘meeting up with someone?’” he questions you, sitting up in your bed. “Like a date, or like…?”

“Not a date, Luke,” you roll your eyes at him.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Why not?” you press, not sure what you want his words to be, but deciding that you’re going to make him say whatever it is he’s thinking.

“Are you going on a… booty call?” His voice is full of judgement. You simply nod in return, shutting your bathroom door between the two of you so you can change in private. “With who?” he demands to know.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” you call through the door, gritting your teeth. You don’t know why exactly he seems upset, but you’re kind of glad that he is. It feels nice to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“Why is someone texting you for a booty call?” He doesn’t mean it to come off as rude as it does. He simply wants to know why there’s someone who is comfortable enough to ask you to come sleep with them in the middle of the evening and why he doesn’t know about whoever this person is.

What you hear from that question is that he can’t believe anyone would want to sleep with you. A rush of heat fills your belly as you bubble up with anger. You laugh, voice sharp and bitter, and Luke looks guilty.

“Yeah, why would anyone wanna sleep with plain old me, huh?” you spit, flinging open the drawer next to your bed and unashamedly pull out a pack of condoms, making eye contact with Luke as you shove them into your purse.

“Y/N, that’s not what I- that’s not what I meant,” he reaches out and tries to grab your wrist, but you yank it backwards from him, huffing and puffing.

“Just because you don’t want me doesn’t mean that no one does, Luke,” you say, and he has no idea how to respond to that.

He’s processing what you’ve just said. Just because he doesn’t want you? Is that - why would you think that he doesn’t want you? Do you want him?

And before he can figure out what you mean by that, you open up the door to your living room and say, “I think it’s time for you to go, Luke.”

He doesn’t fight back or say anything, just grabs his stuff and walks out resignedly, looking back on his way out the front door and shaking his head at you.

You don’t see how he can be so disappointed in you. He does the same thing.

“What a fucking hypocrite,” you mumble under your breath, texting Hunter back and letting him know that you’re on your way.

When you arrive, there are tears in your eyes and your cheeks are pink with anger. You feel so pathetic and hurt and can’t believe that Luke would actually say that to you. You want to let go of those feelings and let yourself be distracted, and Hunter has no problem with that. You always let him have his way with you and he always makes sure that you come. It’s the perfect arrangement.

He’s not Luke by any means, but when his mouth is sucking on your neck like this, it’s easy to push Luke out of your mind.

Hunter nips your skin with his teeth harshly as he pulls away, and a shiver runs down your spine. You let yourself hand over the control to him, and he gladly takes it - enjoys it even. He pushes you backwards against the wall and rips your shirt over your head, immediately attaching his lips to your collarbone and then your chest.

He gets you undressed and slams you onto the bed, face down and on all fours as he gives a sharp smack to your ass with the palm of his hand. You bite your lip from the pain that is so intertwined with the pleasure.

“You want it rough tonight?” he asks, unzipping his pants and stepping out of them.

“Yes,” you hum, closing your eyes and waiting for his next touch.

“Where are your manners?” he asks, and your eyes flutter open as you look up at him and correct yourself.

“Yes, please.”

He gives you a couple more smacks, red imprints in the shape of his hand beginning to form on your backside, and you fully let go, letting your thoughts and feelings be numbed away and giving into your most basic instincts.

He warms you up well, fingers fast and merciless inside you until you feel on the edge and he pulls away from you. A condom is frantically grabbed from your purse and wrapped around his length before he shoves himself into you roughly, a gasp escaping from you at this feeling.

“You feel so good,” he grunts as he slams against you from behind. “Fuck, come here,” he reaches forward and grabs you by the front of your neck, pulling you up so your back is flush against his damp chest and squeezes tighter around your throat. You’re feeling light headed and dizzy, but you can’t get enough of it right now.

It makes you feel numb, and numb is good.

He throws you back down on the bed and commands you to roll onto your back, so you do and he continues to fuck into you, hand wrapping back around your throat, and you know it’s going to leave a mark this time.

You’re gasping for air and so close, right on the edge of an orgasm when he moves his other hand to rub circles against you and send you over that cliff. Your whole body tingles and bucks as you let it overtake you, breathing heavily as you come down.

“You okay?” Hunter asks, peeling the condom off and tying it up. You nod and try to control your breathing a little bit. “Fuck,” he swears when he looks at you. “Your neck.”

You pull your undergarments on and go look in his bathroom mirror, gasping when you see yourself. There are normally a few bruises on you when Hunter is finished with you, but this time you’re wearing a necklace of purple around your throat.

“People are going to think you’re being abused,” Hunter says, amusement gleaming in his eyes, followed quickly by a twinge of guilt. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you say, trying to reassure him, but you don’t know what you’re going to be able to do to hide this. You’re going to have to find a way to cover this, because there’s no way you’re letting anyone see you like this. Especially not Luke and the boys when they see you tomorrow night at the bar.

Fuck.

There’s no way you can let Luke see you like this.

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