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moonlightcrossesonyourbody · 4 years

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Midnight and Little Girls Blue-Grey

Okay. So I just remembered how much fun writing is and exactly how much I am at the mercy of my thoughts. I said that I’m open to prompts in my previous story cause I love them and they help me construct my thoughts a little. Key word being a little. So the wonderful @awickedplacethisis gave me a prompt a I did....something with it. I honestly don’t know where this whole thing came from but that prompt was the general basis of the idea and here it is:

Hello! Just read “Words, Nerves and Cigarettes” and I am so gone for your writing, oh wow. I would love to see you write about Billy being soft(er) with the kids - maybe post season 3 - and Steve seeing it and realizing he’s kinda GONE for that boy. I love your writing so much, I’d probably die on the spot if you wrote this. :,)

Ask and ya shall receive!! You’re so sweet and your comment made me smile so here’s what I did with it. It got a little out of hand and went in a different direction than what I was expecting but still. Also. Please. Don’t die on the spot.

Without further ado....

There was a whine coming from somewhere in the forest.

There was a woman, yes, it was, it was a woman’s voice, coming from somewhere in the woods.

Elev- No- Jane, Jim said she could be Jane now, looked around the small living room of the cabin, until she spotted the little square, black, digital clock Jim had set next to the radio they used, to talk, when he was gone.

00:05

Midnight and five

Twelve and zero five. Even though the clock said zero, zero. Mike said zero, zero meant twelve at night. Midnight. Zero, zero so you can start counting again.

Oooh, wah, wah, ah, sit there, hmm, count

There it was again. The woman was ahing and, and moaning, and breathing in loudly now.

00:05

She wasn’t supposed to be up still. Jim said- But Jim is LATE again, she thought angrily, eyebrows coming together, little mouth hardening, jaw setting.

Aah, count your little fingers

My unhappy, oh little girl, little girl blue, yeah

She stood up and went to the front door. She reached for the doorhandle and pushed it down slowly. It squeaked if you pushed too hard. She hated squeaking. Locks clicking, doors shutting, squeaking, squeaking, always squeaking, silver shiny door handles that-

Wah, oh, oh, oh, aaahhh little girl blue, yeah, yeah, yeahhh

It was music. It came to her suddenly as she went out and stood on the porch. Lights out. She could usually hear the forest best at night. It was December again; but this year it hadn’t really snowed yet, so she could still hear the bugs and the foxes and the other little animals when they moved at night. Jim said they’d go hide soon. Hide from the cold.

“It’s gonna be raw this year.” Joyce had told her last time she came over to bring them food, cause Jim was working the, the night shift, even though he was the Chief.

There were, there were guitars, yeah, that’s what those were, guitars -like in Jim’s records- now, but the woman would still ahhh-ing and hmmm-ing along with them.

It’s a record. It- it must be a record, she thought. But who was playing it? The cabin was the only one in the woods. That’s why they stayed there, cause Jim said that noone would come look for them there unless they were theirs. So who could be playing it?

She looked out in the forest. The moon was whole and big in the sky and there were no clouds so she could see alright even though it was dark.

She couldn’t see any lights and the music sounded like it was far.

It was loud. It was echoing all over the forest, sound travelling.

She looked back inside the cabin and bit her lip. She went back in and found the key Jim had made for her. It was hanging from the keychain Dustin had given her last time she saw him. It was brown leather -like Jim’s jacket- but it also had a thin blue-grey satin ribbon on it.

Braided in. Braids, like that other girl’s -Max’s- hair was last time.

It was a long chain. Long enough that she could wear it like a necklace around her neck. She put it on and grabbed her thick, woolen coat that Jim had bought her and went outside again. She put the coat on along with the little gloves that Joyce had given her. Both were blue-grey, like the satin ribbon in her key-chain.

She thinks it might be her favourite colour.

Blue-grey.

Like Jim’s eyes that were a shining, glittering blue when he was laughing or singing and grey when he was annoyed. Like Nancy’s eyes -Mike’s sister- when she met her one time in late November when she came to pick Mike up from Will’s. Blue-grey and big, with rose-gold shadow around them. Pretty. Prettier up close than they had been in the picture she had seen in Mike’s house back in the beginning.

Blue-grey

Like the forest around her because of the moonlight.

Jim said she wasn’t supposed to go out yet. And she wasn’t allowed to go out at night but Jim was late, so he was breaking the rules too. He might get mad if he found out but she didn’t care. He should have been on time. Noone will see her anyway, she’d be careful.

She moved through the forest quietly. Light on her feet and moving slowly as she let her mind open and tried to feel -find- where the music was coming from. The woman was still crooning softly

It’s going to feel like those raindrops do

When they’re falling down, honey, all around you

Oh-

There!

She could feel it pulsing, pulsing, vibrating in the distance and it wasn’t all too far. It was coming from the road, where Jim would come from before he turned into the dirt-path between the trees that went to the cabin. It felt familiar. It was thrumming, thrumming, drumming along with the woman who was now screaming, yelling, almost sobbing.

Yeah, yeah, honey, little girl, my little girl blue.

Jim would call her that sometimes, if he wasn’t calling her kid. Girly.

Jesus, you’re just a little girl, what’s you glaring at me like that for?

She wasn’t just a little girl. And the woman sounded sad. Sounded tired, even though she was yelling louder than the guitars. She made her way through the forest, towards the road, staying near the trees and the bushes, staying low. She could feel it becoming louder. Not just the music. The pulse.

They’re like me, she realized. It was like a- like a wave. Like the ripples the water made in the sink when they were washing the dishes and in the bottom of the shower when she pushed it with her feet towards the drain. Energy moving, moving with nowhere to let go, just circling around in a body buzzing with it. There was anger there too. Like her but...but not. It was harsher, it felt more like..not dangerous, cause she was dangerous too, more....explosive. More loud, concentrated, unsteadier than hers. And there was something bitter, something like sad, but guiltier, though she couldn’t tell what exactly. There was so much noise in their head.

Oh sit there-

She was getting real close, she could see the road now.

Oh, oh, ohhh-

She was at the edge of the forest now and she looked around until she saw it.

There was a car on the side of the road. The side where the forest gave way to the fields that were open and wide and silver now under the moon. Silver like the car almost. There was- there was blue there too. It was silver and shiny where moonbeams hit it on the roof and the one side but midnight blue, dark like the night around them and the sky above where the light couldn’t reach.

Blue-grey...but darker.

She got closer.

Honey, honey, honey, oohhhh you’ve got to do

The lady was screeching now but...but her voice was so..free. She was loud and vibrant and yelling and no one was there to stop her. Free, un...unbound.

She got closer. Staying at the edges of the woods still. Letting the darkness of the tree branches cover her as she approached the car. She could see smoke now too. Travelling up, up, up towards the sky, soft grey joining deep dark blue.

There was a man leaning against the hood of the car. No, not a man, a-a boy, she realized as she got closer. Like Jonathan and-and Steve.

He was leaning back against the hood, legs clad in tight blue jeans spread on the ground in front of him, one heavy-looking boot planted firmly on the asphalt and the other crossed over it. He was wearing just a-just a sleeveless white undershirt, bright where the light hit it, and smoking like Jim.

Isn’t he cold? she wondered as the chilly December wind blew around her, carrying with it the cold and the woman’s voice. She got closer to him and moved a little more to the side so she could see him better and-

She froze.

His hair was curly like hers but longer reaching his shoulders and, and it must be yellow in the day -blond, her mind supplied- but, but silver where the light hit it now, and, and he looked strong. Like Jim but, but thinner, sharper. The side of his face that she could see was all angles. The moonlight was hitting him straight on, casting shadows across his cheek and neck and arms. He looked like one of the statues the boys had showed her in a book. Like he was made of that smooth rock -marble-. Unmovable. Still...but not. He was loud. Louder than the music; she could feel him and it felt...he felt familiar.

Before she knew it she was moving towards him, still hidden by the trees, when she stepped on a fallen tree-branch that seemed loud as a gunshot; Riverberating through the night even with the music on.

He must have heard her. His shoulders tensed but he didn’t turn around, just kept on smoking. He moved his head slightly in her direction, smoke coming out of his mouth and traveling up, obscuring his face.

Yes, yes, I know how you feel

The music went on. She took in a breath and moved towards him. He didn’t look at her until she reached him. She could make out his eyes, even though he was staring off at the side.

Blue-grey, she barely realized before he faced her dead on and she froze again.

Pretty.

It was the first and only thought in her head. And he was. His silver-golden curls framing his face, shadows and light playing with the colours. He’s taken the cigarette out of his mouth and his lips were blood red, the tops of his cheekbones too, where the bitting wind hit them. His eyelashes were long and silver, framing his blue-grey eyes.

Blue-grey like Jim’s eyes and Nancy’s eyes and the silk ribbon braided in with leather on her neck.

“ A little late for you to be out here ain’t it, sweetheart?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at her, tone cautious, guarded, voice smooth and deep in contrast to the high-pitched tones of the woman still singing.

She felt tongue-tied. Her already limited vocabulary failing her as she continued staring at him.

“What’s a little girl like you, doing out here anyway?” he said.

She blinked

“I, I, I, uh, I live here.” she stuttered out, swallowing reflexively.

“ Here in the forest?” he asked almost incredulously, lips ticking up, eyebrows climbing high.

“ In the-in the cabin.” she answered.

“ Ooh, right, right. In the cabin, in the woods, of course.” he said around a smirk. “ And...are you alone? In your cabin I mean.” he motioned with his hand toward the forest, smoke from the cigarette he was holding painting the space between them gray.

“ No. I live with Jim.” she told him and realized she might have to elaborate on that. “ He takes care of me; but he’s at work.” she added.

“ Is Jim your dad then?” he asked again, moving his hand in a half-circle

“ I’m, I’m adopted.” she answered.

“ Aah” he hummed and looked at her appraisingly. “ You got a name, sweetheart?”

She took a breath before she answered him, reminding herself.

“ I’m Jane.”

“ Well, Janeee” he dragged her name out, as he threw his half-finished cigarette on the ground, crushing it underneath his boot, before he extended an arm towards her, palm up. “ I’m Billy.”

She looked from his hand to his face before taking it in hers, his bigger one engulfing her smaller one. His hand was rough but surprisingly warm, considering his lack of clothing and the cold.

“ Aren’tyoucold?” the question slipped out, past her lips without her meaning to, but he didn’t look annoyed.

“ I run hot.” he told her with a smirk, pearly white teeth shinning. A second later the smirk sort of faded from his face, eyebrows coming together. “ You said, uhh, you said, your Jim’s working?” he asked her.

“ He’s late” she answered petulantly, while wrapping her arms around herself. His face softened a little as he looked at her, one corner of his mouth rising a bit.

“ What an asshole.” he said and she giggled “ But what’s that got to do with you being out here during the witching hours, Janie?” he said

“ Witching hours?” she’d never heard that before, she thought, frowning, what did that mean-

“ After midnight, before dawn. Just som’thin’ my ma used to say” he said and then he blinked, jerking his head a little like what he said surprised him; like he hadn’t meant to. His expression was turning kinda sad and closed and-

Oh.

Oh, she knew that. She knew that hurt.

“ Iheardthemusic.” she rushed out before he shut down on her.

“ Aahh” he cleared his throat. “ You like Joplin, sweetheart?”

She hesitated a second before answering. Did she like it? she thought back to the woman yelling and moaning.

“ She’s- she’s loud.” she said and he almost looked disappointed. “ But...but free” his eyes snapped up to meet hers a little wider, smile a little more...honest.

“ Yeah, yeah kid, you said it.” he gave her a smile. “ Most free and badass lady there ever was.” he said with certainty, nodding in her direction. He looked at his watch “ You got any clue what time your pops is comin’ home?” he asked looking back at her.

“ Soon.” she said hesitantly “ I think”

“ You wanna tell me how to get to that cabin of yours , I’ll take you back before he gets home” he offered, but all she could think was how the music was still playing loud and unrestrained; and the road and the forest and the fields were all an-an almost magic-like midnight blue and silver; and how he looked like those statues, pretty, but also angry, angry and hurt and like her, not-not like Jim or the boys and he didn’t look at her like she’d explode or like she might break, and Jim was gone and it was so quiet in the cabin where she was all alone with the squeaky, squeaky handles and the shut doors and windows and-

“ Canwewaithere?” slipped past her lips and she had reached and grabbed his forearm and he was warm, so warm, not like the cabin or the cold, he likes it cold-

“ Sure, kid” she snapped her eyes back to him. “ Why not? I got nowhere else to be.” he looked between her and the car lifting an eyebrow in question “ Wanna listen to some more music in the car?” he waited for her and when she nodded he made for the driver’s door. She followed and opened the passenger’s door, sliding onto the seat, after carefully lifting the leather jacket that was discarded there. He took it from her, as he passed her a shoebox.

“ You wanna pick?” he asked, gesturing at the box full of tapes in her lap. Like Jim puts in the car radio, she realized. She looked from the box full of tapes, colourful, with blocky letters and symbols she didn’t recognize back to him and to the radio.

“ More...like that?” she requested in an uncertain voice.

He gave her a smile “ You got it.” he said and started going through the box until he settled on an untitled one, lifting it from the box and presenting it to her triumphantly.

“ You know mixtapes, Janie?” she shook her head no, “ Well,” he looked at her, eyes excited, his other hand gesturing all over. “ It’s tapes you can make yourself. You can put anything you like on ‘em. So while here we got a little bit o’ Janin, there’s some other stuff too.” he explained while pushing it in.

He laid back on the seat, leather jacket bunched up across his thighs and legs spread in the cramped space under the wheel. She mimicked his pose and felt a small smile form on her lips as he smiled with his eyes closed, humming contentedly along with what must be the happiest beginning of a song ever. She felt her smile getting bigger as the-the piano -like in Will’s living room- gave way to a man’s happy voice.

She comes in colours everywhere

She combs her hair

She’s like a rainbow.

She leaned back and closed her eyes too, content for a little while in the midnight-blue car, with the boy with the blue-grey eyes who is like-like her a solid presence next to her, thinking of pretty rainbows.

Oh honey go on and sit back down

I want you to count oh, oh count your fingers

She came to, with the woman from before crooning softly this time along with the guitar. She realized Billy’s jacked was draped over her and Billy was shaking her softly awake.

“Hey, sweetheart.” he said in a low voice “ There’s headlights down the road, your pops must be back.”

She shook her head to try and clear it from the sleepy fog; she didn’t even realize she’d fallen asleep. She looked around her and oh-

Billy must have noticed the dirt-road cause the car had been turned around and was now parked next to it. God. She didn’t even notice the car moving. He was right; there were lights far down the road getting closer.

Ah, my unhappy, my unlucky and my poor little girl blue

Baby I know how you feel.

She looked at Billy next to her and felt like she had to-like she needed to let him know that-that...that they were like each other, that he wasn’t alone in his loud, loud head.

“ I, uh, I-I think I’m...happy.” she told him in stilted speech, looking right in his eyes; he looked caught off guard. “ Are...are you?” she questioned him.

He swallowed, throat working visibly, looking around before his eyes settled on a discarded packet of cigarettes on the dashboard; they softened.

“ I’m working on it” he answered gruffly.

The headlights were now much closer and Billy made to get out of the car. “Here” she said, thrusting his jacket towards him, remnants of woodsy cologne and cigarette smoke left behind on her coat. He winked at her and put it on as he climbed out of the car. The headlights hit him straight on, and she was right. Blond. His hair was golden now where the light hit them. He was sort of lazily leaning across the front of the car, arms cross and waiting, glancing at her when she went to stand next to him.

“ What the hell are you doing here, kid?!” Jim exclaimed as he approached them, face turning thunderous.

“ Where the hell have you been, Chief?” Billy had shot back before she even had a chance to open her mouth.

“ The hell are you doing with my kid, Hargrove? “ Jim demanded voice booming in the empty road, but before Billy had a chance to reply, she cut in.

“ I heard music.” she stated. Jim turned to look at her with an incredulous expression on his face.

“ And what?! You decided to follow it; kid you know-”

“ You were late.” she cut him off before he could get a chance to continue yelling. His teeth clicked as his jaw snapped shut.

“ Kid...” he started.

“ I was listening to music” Billy interrupted “ She heard it, followed it and found me” he told Jim and continued to almost glare at him, staring straight into his eyes. “ She told me her pops was late at work and that she was all alone in a cabin in the woods.” he drawled pointedly. “ Figured I’d keep ‘er company.”

Jim looked between the two of them and lifted his hand to rub at his eyes, making a low groan at the back of his throat.

“ You’re killing me kid.” he said looking at her before turning to Billy“ Hargrove.” he started “ain’t your folks missing you?”

“ Naah” Billy said drawing the word out. “ We, uh , we got a bit into it with my old man. Figured I’d take some space.” he said around a manufactured grin. Jim looked at him a while, a hard look coming down his face and oh-

Oh, they really were the same weren’t they?

“ Thanks for staying with her, I guess” Jim said then, gruffly. Billy almost seemed surprised for a second, before he schooled his expression back to that lopsided grin.

“ Anytime.” he answered and made to get back into his car.

“ Hargrove.” Jim said suddenly and Billy paused, looking back at them. “ You going back home?” he asked.

Billy stared at him and nodded. “ Yeah.” looking at him as if daring him to refute that statement.

Jim coughed. “ Well,,eghr, right. Thanks again. For staying with her.”

“ My pleasure, Chief.” Billy said, giving a two-fingered salute and sending a wink her way before he got back into his car. She let out a giggle and ducked her head as she rushed to get in Jim’s car, while he muttered a long-suffering “Jesus” at the sky, before joining her.

“...Listen Jane-”

“ Happy, Jim.” she cut him off mid-sentence leaving him with his mouth hanging open “ He’s nice. Like him.”

Jim turned his eyes up towards the roof before closing them and heaving a great sigh. “ Killing me kid.” he groaned out and Jane gave a little giggle before leaning her head against the window, listening to the two cars and Jim’s breathing, looking at the mirror as Billy’s midnight car went to meet the midnight sky, before closing her eyes as Jim drove them home.

~~~~~~ *** ~~~~~~

It slowly turned into a habit. Listening to music with Billy. Being quiet with him. On nights when Jim was working late. Or on nights he wasn’t. Nights when the three of them would sit quietly with each other; music yelling or softly crooning on, while they nursed anger and hurts old and new. Nights when everything was squeaking, squeaking, squeaking and the walls were closing in on her; and Billy’s skin was more midnight-blue than golden, like his car and the cold, unforgiving winter night sky; and Jim’s hands would shake as he paced, pace, paced around going through cigarettes like the smoke would hide them from the monsters. Nights when Jim’s and Billy’s blue-grey eyes would be tinted red around the edges.

And later on, after the dance, the Snowball, where everything was blue-grey and midnight-blue and silver and Mike had kissed her, and Max had told she was pretty; the dance that Billy had taken them to in his midnight, roaring car, where she had danced and yelled and was free.

After the dance and after Christmas, when February set in and everything was covered in snow, some nights, Billy’s midnight car would pull into the dirt-road and Steve would be in the passenger seat.

And Steve -who was always moving and always checking-double-checking, flattering about, nervous, nervous, nervous, breath short and heartbeat racing- would slowly settle down. To smoke with Billy and Jim, or lie back and sleep while they kept watch.

Or...on the best nights, he would hold her and card his fingers through her hair as she leaned against him while Jim and Billy would trade off reading to them; stories coming to colour with their deep, smoke-gruff voices.

And even later on in Spring, when Max would tumble out of the car too, when everything was brown,yellow, green and blue-grey, everything but Max’s fire-red hair, like a hallo around her head. Max who brought with her different music, and picture-books -comics!- of Amazons and little girls blue that turned into warriors; who came with a softer, sweeter voice but just as loud. That brought with her eyes blue-grey too but also green in the right light -sea-green Billy would tell her- like the sea she’d never seen up-close but both Max and Billy always thought of, always carried.

Max who brought with her dancing.

And then summer came.

~~~~~~ *** ~~~~~~

It’s winter again.

December 21st, “ Winter Solstice” Billy told her. Longest, darkest night of the year.

They were watching the sunset on the fields by the road where the forest ended. Where she found Billy that first night. She couldn’t really understand how this could be the longest night. Not when long nights meant, fireworks and flames, gunshots and glass shuttering; blood and bruises. When the boy she loved was hurting her, dying for her, saving her. When the girl she loved was crying while their hearts were breaking and all they could do was hold on and press down, press harder Jane, harder. When the man she loved, the man who loved her most, was burning and falling, falling, falling. Long nights filled with sirens and more men in white robes and white rooms and antiseptic. Long, sleepless nights spent waiting in plastic chairs, whispering, hoping, praying for the silver, shiny moon and the midnight-blue dark sky to save them; to let her keep them.

The chilly winter breeze hit her face, snapping her back into the present.

A man’s voice was singing softly in the background.

Oh tell me where your freedom lies

The streets are fields that never die.

Max had taken her hand and was swinging them both back and forth, eyes closed. She let go of one of Jane’s hands and spun her around under it.

Deliver me from reasons why

You’d rather cry, I’d rather fly.

She felt like she was flying. She was floating, like she would travel up, up, up into the sky to join the midnight blue, mixed with golds and pinks and purples as the sun set.

A larger, rougher, still unbelievably, warmer hand took hers and gave her another twirl. She opened he eyes and the first thing she saw was Max. Looking at her brother with stars in her blue-grey-green -seagreen- eyes that had to match the ones in her brown ones, as he took her free hand in his and swung and twirled them both around him and underneath his arms.

A thousand girls, a thousand thrills.

Max was giggling and whooping and she couldn’t help but join in, a shriek escaping from her lips when Billy, suddenly, dipped her low. She wasn’t scared he’d drop her. He was still strong; and his arms were still warm enough, even though the smooth golden of his skin was filled with raised rose-silver lines now. Lines she knew travelled across his arms and ribs and stomach, even though she couldn’t see them. He was just in a sleeveless white undershirt again, unyielding in the face of the biting winter breeze. Sleeveless white undershirt, tight blue jeans and heavy boots like that first night she found him and-and like that night too, when he-

Max was laughing again. She lifted her head, took her eyes off of Billy and looked around, before her gaze settled on the boy leaned on the bumper of their midnight car.

Steve.

His eyes were soft, but his lips were pursed and his eyebrows were bunch up. He was frowning, she realized; was looking at them dancing, like there was something he was missing. Like he was trying to figure something out.

She let her mind wonder, let her senses spread, until she could feel the nervous energy of the boy with the soft eyes, softer hands, who’d make cookies with her and who hid snorts at Jim’s bad jokes.

He was still looking at them, but his heart was beating fast. His thoughts were warm. She couldn’t read them but they felt like Spring. Warm like the sunshine in May and like the cabin on the nights they’d read together.

He was looking at Billy now and she had to take her eyes off of him for a second when Max twirled her again and she lost her balance, stumbling, before Billy steadied her with a booming laugh and she felt the warmth from before grow hotter. She looked back at Steve. Brown met brown and with a start she realized that he was blushing and-

Oh....oh

She must have stopped moving cause Billy slowed down and looked at her inquiringly before following her gaze towards Steve who was looking at the ground by his shoes now.

She looked between the two of them, watched as Billy’s expression grew softer, more vulnerable, before setting on something more determined. He took a deep breath, chest rising before he looked down at her and gave her a small smile, letting go of her hand as he started heading for Steve.

Max must have noticed her not moving, because she stopped too, joining her in watching the two boys by the car, hand still holding hers.

“ Are they-” she started, almost in wonder, before Jane cut her off with a hard squeeze of her hand.

“ Pretty Boy.” they heard Billy say around a smirk, a friendly, teasing one, not mocking.

“ You’rereallygoodwiththem” Steve rushed out, catching Billy by surprise, before going back to staring furiously at the ground; face on fire.

Billy said something else, too low for them to hear drowned out by the music and the breeze and all the life around them, and Steve responded with a mumble looking at Billy from underneath his eyelashes, head still low and hands worrying some threads at the bottom of his shirt.

“ Come on” Max pulled at her, moving their shoulders and swinging their arms in time with the music.

I think you know what to do

Impossible? Yes, but it’s true.

She looked at Max’s face, sunkissed skin peppered with a million freckles across her nose and cheeks, like the stars in the midnight blue of their sky, lips fallen naturally in a soft smile. She closed her eyes and let Max and the music and the breeze carry her as they danced by the road, gravel crunching underneath their feet. They swayed and then-

Oohh, oh, oh, ohhhh sit there, hmm, count you fingers

What else, what else is there to do?

Her eyes snapped open as the woman’s whining, loud, free voice echoed around them, bringing her back to that night, that first night almost a year ago when she heard it first. When she was alone in the dark, cold, squeaking cabin. When she followed it and found a boy that was like her.

She looked for Billy cause that was their-

Oh,

oh, she found him.

She heard Max draw a sharp breath but she couldn’t look away from them. Billy was pulling away from Steve, head leaning back, soft smile on his face and he-they-they must have kissed. They must have just kissed; and Steve was clutching at Billy, one hand on his hip, one wrapped around the wrist of the scarred hand that was framing his face, thumb slowly drawing circles at the corner of his jaw; and he was looking at him with such, such wonder.

Such love.

And she couldn’t hold the smile back even if she tried, so she didn’t, yelled instead-

“ Billy!”

He turned to look at her, hands never once leaving Steve.

“ It’s our song” She stressed out with excited urgency.

He frowned for a moment, dark eyebrows coming together, before his expression cleared as he tuned back into the world around him. The world outside of Steve’s soft lips and softer smile.

Oh, sit there, oh sit there, honey, ohh

I know what else, what else

Honey you’ve got to do.

He looked at her and smiled, extending an arm out as he made his way towards her, other arm trailing behind him as he pulled Steve along.

He reached them, and she burrowed in his side, as his arm settled around her shoulders, reaching for Max, who was glued to her other side, and they settled, all four of them, with Billy’s arms around them -their arms around him- to watch, as the last sliver of burning golden sun disappeared, giving way to their midnight blue-grey night sky.

Blue-grey like the ribbon in the key-chain still hanging from her neck, like Billy’s eyes as the light hit them.

I want you to count, oh, count your little fingers

Aah, ah my unhappy, my unlucky, and my poor little girl blue.

It came back to her suddenly and the need to know overwelmed her.

“ Billy?” she whispered

“ Hmm?” he hummed back just as quietly.

“ I’m happy.” she told him softly and his blue-grey shinning eyes snapped to hers; and he must have remembered.

“ Are...are you?” she asked him, again, slowly.

He looked at her, eyes searching her face, before leaving it to look at Max who was smiling at him with all her teeth, face dusted golden with the last of the light; before he turned his head slightly to the side to look down at Steve’s face, cheek resting against his collarbone, hand still holding onto the wrist of the arm wrapped around his shoulders; smiling.

He breathed out, looked at the now sunless blue-grey horizon and then back down at her, before slowly letting his eyes fall closed, arms drawing them nearer.

He breathed in.

Whispered.

“ Yes”

Have you seen her all in gold?

Like a queen in days of old

She shoots colours all around

Like a sunset going down

Have you seen a lady fairer?

She comes in colours everywhere

She’s like a rainbow.

~~~~~~ *** ~~~~~~

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papipopsicle · 4 years

Text

BULLETPROOF HEART

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Genre: angst and some fluff here and there

Summary: In which Billy's only saving grace in Hawkins is his witty neighbour with cotton candy hair. Y/N was sweet, with a soft touch and caring eyes- too bad she's got a boyfriend, and he's a real dick. AU where Billy has a different backstory than in S3.

Request: Could u do a Billy Hargrove x fem!reader where she is in an abusive relationship but he doesn't know bc she's always covering her bruises and cuts with makeup and clothes, until she arrives at his house all f*cked up? You choose the ending, thanks boo! @ghost-broccoli

Song: Sweet Creature by Harry Styles

Warnings: nothing so far

Words: 1.6K

a/n: fluffy beginnings means angst is to come...

feedback is always appreciated

Billy Hargrove had no idea what love meant. His mother had died in a driving accident eleven months ago. Maybe before that the four letter word held some kind of meaning- he'd never admit it, even back then, but she was his entire world.

But his father found no trouble in moving on, less than a month after the traumatic loss and Neil had a new girlfriend. It took three weeks for him to cheat on Susan Mayfield, and a further week for her to convince him to move their entire life to a dingy little town the other side of America. They were as bad as each other, they deserved to strangle one another with their venomous deceit and end up with nothing but hatred in their hearts.

Billy Hargrove didn't know what love truly meant anymore, but if it was an all consuming feeling of irrevocable passion and a want for someone to be truly happy, then he had found it seven months ago on his first day in Hawkins. Yet he did nothing about it, because she seemed happy in her own little world, but Billy would soon find out it wasn't only his father's appearance that could be deceiving.

"So you're the family moving into Mister Clarke's house?" Y/N called out with a small smile hanging from her lips, skipping down the steps of her porch and crossing the road to greet a boy with ringlet hair and olive skin. He seemed to be unloading a cardboard box from the boot of his navy Camaro, keys carefully balanced between his teeth.

"What?" The boy grunted in a muffled voice as he turned around, bored with the conversation already. Not even an hour into arriving in Indiana and he couldn't take another second of this shithole. His eyes were met with a cloud fogging up his vision, or rather, curls upon curls of long cotton candy pink hair bouncing towards him. Y/N grinned while he shimmied the box to take the metal object out of his mouth, "Yeah, I guess I am."

She wore a short white dress with little blue and pink flowers dotted all over it, knee-high grey socks and black combat boots- it seemed utterly bizarre, but without even knowing her, Billy thought it suited her vibrant personality. Cute.

Y/N slung a small pink bag over her shoulder and stuck her hand out, bright smile making the corners of her eyes crinkle ever so slightly. It was refreshing, rather than having puckered lips in his face and tits pushed so far up you couldn't even see a girl's collar bones, that she smiled with ease and had the most beautifully kind eyes his had met in the past four months.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N, I live just across the road with my mum and little sister. So, are you going to be coming to Hawkins High? I'm a senior- you know, you might be the first new face I've literally ever seen. Well, apart from a newborn, of course." The girl retracted her hand after a few moments, realising both of his were preoccupied and she instead opted to brush some hair away from her face, which fell right back not even a second later.

"Looks like it." Billy smirked a little, letting a genuine smile fall to his features after a moment. He watched her feet bounce up and down a little and her bubblegum hair moved on que, "Billy."

"Well, Billy," Y/N tried to mimic his golden coast tinged accent, eyes racing over the neglected house behind him before returning to his well built figure, "I'm only a few seconds away if you ever need anything, apart from tonight."

"And where're you disappearing off to tonight then, bubblegum?" The Californian boy couldn't help but mirror her happy tone, finding her positivity overwhelming and infectious in the best kind of way. If it were anyone else, Billy would've started to get annoyed at their preppy attitude, but he simply wanted to protect her from anything bad the world could send Y/N's way. Boy, did that thought haunt him to look back on.

"I'm going on a date." She squealed, failing to hide her pure unadulterated excitement, "A first date, actually. He should be here any minute."

Y/N checked her watch and saw that Declan Harper was twelve minutes late to pick her up. Her lips pursed and she chewed at her bottom lip in thought, disappointment hidden behind her shiny eyes, and her mind raced to find any possible excuse. The girl hated being kept waiting- she always put in a conscious effort to be on time when meeting up with someone and when they didn't do the same it felt like she wasn't their priority. But she was certain Declan wasn't like that.

His eyes rolled playfully, catching sight of Y/N's pink glossed lips for two rather long seconds, "Have a great night, bubbles."

Billy sent the curly haired girl a wink, and turned to bring the box into the house he was meant to call a home from now on. Y/N wandered back over the road after telling him to have a great night settling in, sitting on the steps to her porch and glancing down at her watch again to see that more time had ticked by.

"Hey," The girl's head popped up again as Billy reappeared, crossing the road halfway with the first serious look she'd seen him wear, "come find me if he doesn't treat you like a princess, I'm only a few seconds away."

He mirrored her speech, sending a warm fuzzy feeling straight to her head. She ignored that the same feeling hadn't appeared when the basketball player asked her on a dinner date four days ago, and then again when she noticed his car approaching her house.

The night went by, Declan showed up with a small bouquet of yellow and orange flowers in one hand and an apology in the other. Y/N had a great night, pushing aside the twenty minutes of waiting when he made her giggle and blush at his compliments. She kissed him on the cheek goodbye, but just as she was about to open her front door he twisted her around and locked their lips with a passionate grip on her waist.

She let out a yelp, stumbling backwards in surprise only to find his hands steadying her against his toned body, deepening the kiss before finally setting her free. Y/N chuckled awkwardly, stuttering out a goodbye through burning cheeks and bruised lips.

The girl watched through her windows waving Declan off, moving to her mother's room to let her know she had a good time and was home safe before ten. Y/N began to feel flustered and hot, unable to breathe as she removed her make up. She swapped her girly dress for grey tracksuit bottoms and a bright pink sweatshirt reading 'Barbie' in white text.

My first kiss, Y/N though to herself. It wasn't what she was told as a child and imagined for the past ten years. There weren't any sparks or fireworks and there definitely wasn't a giddy spinning surge of happiness in her head. But that was probably just fairytales and fiction, it was nice enough and Declan seemed sweet.

Y/N tied her hair into a ponytail taming her lions mane, chugged down a glass of ice cold water and went to sit on the porch steps where she had been waiting at hours earlier. Her dad always used to yell it wasn't safe to sit there late at night, but nothing ever happened in Hawkins, other than Mister Clarke forgetting to check his post until midnight.

"So," a deep yet soothing voice called from what seemed like the indigo night sky.

"God?" Y/N whispered in disbelief, looking around to see a shadowy figure appear across the chewed up road.

"Girls have been known to call me that." Billy chuckled, his person dimly lit by the nearby street lamp. His new neighbour looked all too sweet sat on the bottom step of her porch, chin sat against her fleece covered knees, eyes almost glittering in the amber light.

"Shush, you cheeseball." She patted the empty step beside her "Come sit for a bit?"

For over an hour, Y/N Y/L/N and Billy Hargrove chatted about all kinds of nonsense. She told him about the date and her kiss, unable to hide her reservations from Billy that she hid so well from herself. But he didn't say anything, he let her pretend to be happy because, at least her smile was still beaming with hope.

Looking back on it, now with her fragile frame pressed up against his on the exact same steps. He never realised how tiny she was until now, small whimpers and hiccups jolting their body's with his hand pressed against the bloodied forehead he had kissed goodbye too many times.

If only he knew sooner it wasn't hope in her eyes, but the want for something so pure and honest that she never knew what love truly felt like. Declan warped her mind into believing this was love, that love hurt more than healed, and Billy blamed himself for all the torture this flawless soul had to go through.

part two?

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#fanfic #fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove angst #billy x reader #billy imagine #billy angst #billy fluff #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove x reader

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 5 years

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Let The Flames Begin (chapter 5)

Charlene relished the cold water from the shower. She tried to be quick, she didn't know how much water there was and she wasn't about to be selfish and use it all. She scrubbed her hair and body and watched the brown water swirl down the drain. She towelled off, feeling good now she was clean. She had to put her dirty jeans back on since none of the spare ones here fit her but she didn't care. She was clean and that's what mattered. She put the red and black plaid shirt on, it was still a little big on her small frame despite the fact it was a teenagers size and she left the bottom few buttons undone, tying it around her waist so it looked a little more flattering. She shouldn't have been concerned with such things with the world the way it was but she couldn't help it. She towel dried her hair the best she could and left it down to dry itself, leaving the bathroom feeling fresh.

Daryl was sat on the couch when she walked back in and it felt like the air in his lungs had been stolen away. Sure he'd seen her clean before, she seemed to be everywhere around town before all this. But somehow, after being with her for a few weeks, seeing her looking somewhat more like her old self left him breathless. Her long hair was slightly damp and left down, a little wavy. He'd never cared too much about girls hair before, that was until he first saw her. She had this warm chestnut hair that reminded him of the woods in the best way. It was always so shiny, soft looking. She tended to have it in a different style every time he used to see her. Braids? He didn't know if that's what they were called but she did that a lot. Sometimes her hair would be straight, other times wavy or even curly. He hadn't known what was her natural hair until now, seeing the waves. He frowned to himself, realising he was staring and thinking about her hair way too much. Damn girl was turning him into a pussy.

“Alright kids, I’m gonna head to bed. Don't do nothin’ I wouldn't do,” Merle grinned obnoxiously as he left to the bedroom, shutting the door. Charlene squinted at the now closed door.

“Why does he get the bed?” she scoffed, scrunching her nose up.

“He’s in another room, ya really gonna complain?” Daryl snorted giving her a pointed look.

“Good point,” she said, flashing him an impish grin. Daryl looked around, he didn't know where he was going to sleep. He was pretty sure the couch he sat on pulled out as a bed but he knew she wouldn't want to share with him. Maybe he’d just make up a bed on the floor. Wasn't like they had been sleeping better than that recently anyway.

He stood up, sorting the pull out bed and she watched, noticing how his arm muscles flexed as he pulled it out.

“There ya go,” he said looking somewhat bashful, moving away from the bed as she walked over to it.

“Where are you sleeping?” she asked, her brow furrowed a little. He chewed his thumb, trying not to look at her so his thoughts didn't wander back to her hair.

“Floor probably,” he shrugged.

“You can share the bed with me you know. I won't molest you in your sleep,” she snorted as she arranged the couch cushions to be pillows. Daryl's jaw clenched wondering what the fuck that meant. He knew damn well she wouldn't dream of touching him that way, was that her way of letting him know? It made his heart ache and he didn't like it, feeling like he repulsed her or something.

“Come on, get in,” she said softly as she climbed into the bed. He chewed his thumb some more before toeing off his boots and laying down, feeling tense and uncomfortable.

He left a big distance between them and she lay on her side facing away from him. They were both fully clothed, wanting to be prepared in case things went ass upwards. The time spent getting dressed could cost your life these days. Hours passed and he lay awake, unable to sleep with her so close to him. He was surrounded by her scent, the feel of her body heat that radiated off her. He fucking hated it. He growled to himself, sitting up and hauling himself out of bed. So much for finally gettin’ some sleep.

The next day passed without much event. The boys had planned to hunt in the morning, that was until Daryl realised leaving the girl unattended here wasn't the best idea. When he spoke to Merle he had expected a snarky remark. But was instead told he was right. Both Daryl and Charlene noticed how Merle was being a little different around her after discovering he had left marks on her. She didn't know if he felt bad or what, but she was grateful for the relief of his constant annoyingness. Merle had offered to go alone to hunt but came back empty-handed, much to his chagrin. They'd just have to try again later. Daryl was determined to get that damn deer.

“Alright, I’m headin’ out,” Daryl announced as he slung his bow over his shoulder. Merle was eating in the kitchen and Charlene stood near Daryl with wide eyes. It was evening now, it was a little later than he liked to hunt but hopefully, it would be worth it. She was wringing her hands, just stood next to him watching him carefully and he chewed his lower lip, wondering if he should say something.

“Do you have to go?” she blurted out, catching him off guard for a moment.

“Wanna see if I can find some food,” he shrugged, making her look down.

“He’ll behave himself, seems fine enough for now,” he added, just in case she was worried about being around Merle. She was a little. He hadn't been as bad lately but she didn't trust him still. She nodded, looking up at him like a kicked puppy and he couldn't work out why she seemed so sad about him going out to hunt.

“Can’t I come with you?” she asked, pleading eyes pinning him in place.

“Nah, ya need to stay here where it's safe,” he frowned, her shoulders slumped a little and he ignored the pang it sent through his chest.

“Just...stay safe,” she whispered. He swallowed thickly, unsure of why those words made him feel weird or why she even said them at all.

“Always am,” he replied before leaving, giving her one last look before he left, in search of some food.

It was dark now, Charlene hadn't moved from her spot near the window, where she had stood as soon as Daryl left. She didn't like that he wasn't back and it was now dark, she just wanted him to come back as soon as possible. Merle had barely spoken to her and she was thankful. He just ate and then went off to lay down in the bedroom. Seemingly awkward being around her without his brother. She broke out of her thoughts when she saw something through the trees. It was a flashlight, and she briefly thought of Daryl. That was until she remembered none of them had flashlights. Then she saw another light next to it, then another one.

“Shit!” she panicked, feeling the fear ripple through her body at the thought of strangers coming here.

She hadn't been too wary before, but Merle had rambled on in his many moments of never shutting up about how people were these days, how some survivors were worse than the dead. She jumped up, rushing into the bedroom and shaking him frantically.

“Merle wake up!” she hissed, shaking him almost violently.

“Damn it girl, what?” he snapped as he opened her eyes, seeing her a quaking mess hovering over him.

“There's people outside,” she muttered tensely, her big wide eyes boring holes into him. His face hardened then as he jumped out of bed, grabbing his gun and knife. She followed him to the window where he too saw the three flashlights approaching.

“Daryl,” he growled, wondering where his baby brother was, hoping these assholes hadn't seen him first. She tensed at his name, more fear running through her body when she wondered just where he was, why he wasn't back yet.

“Anybody in there?” a voice called out. Rough and manly, very southern. Merle clenched his jaw as he continued to peep out of the window before he glanced over at Charlene.

“Get in the cupboard,” he demanded as he pointed at it, making her eyes widen in horror. The tv cabinet was small but big enough for her tiny frame to hide inside of it if she sat down, but the thought filled her with dread like never before.

“Merle… I can’t. I'm claustrophobic,” she whispered panicked.

“I don't know what the fuck that means girlie, but ya get in that god damn cupboard. It sure as hell beats bein’ raped,” he glared. His blunt words were like ice cold water being poured onto her and she swallowed thickly.

“Get in the cupboard, Charlene,” he ordered, giving her a stern look. She just nodded, the movement jerky as she went over, opening the door and climbing inside. She sat hugging her knees as Merle shut the door, enclosing her in darkness.

“Anyone in there?” the voice repeated as Merle glanced through the window, the flashlights were closer now, just near the barbed wire. It had been a good plan to fend off the dead, but he hadn't really thought about if other living people were around, it was like a beacon that they were there. And where there were people, there were supplies. He growled to himself, seeing the lights manoeuvre themselves between the barbed wire. Where the fuck was his brother?

Daryl had wandered further than he wanted to. He had found deer tracks and his desperate need to do something, anything to feel that sense of pride from the girl, it had him follow the tracks for fucking hours. But now, here he was, walking home in the dark with a buck over his shoulders. It was heavy but he didn't care. He would feed his damn woman and they'd have plenty to spare. She ain’t yours though, is she? The voice sneered in his head, making his jaw clench. He wasn't too far now and then he heard it.

“Anyone in there?”

His heart dropped right out his ass. That voice wasn't Merles and it sure as shit wasn't the girl's. Someone was there. He pushed on, trying to pick up his pace but the deer was weighing him down. He heard them call out again and that was it. He tossed the deer, wondering if he could go back for it later, if the biters hadn't gotten to it first. He took off running, halting at the tree line where he saw three men at the door.

Merle was stood there, gun pointing at the men and Daryl edged around the trees, getting closer.

“We just want some food is all. Maybe a place to rest our weary heads. Ain’t too much to ask now is it?” the deep voice of the man in the middle asked, making Daryl tense, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling. He could just tell these weren't good men, and he knew his brother felt it too.

“Ya ain't gonna find that here, now fuck off,” Merle snarled, his gun still pointing at the man in the middle. Daryl held his breath, creeping closer to the house hidden behind the darkness of the trees. He wondered where Charlene was, his stomach twisted something awful at the thought of her being in there, what these assholes might do to her if they found her.

One of the men stood to the side suddenly rushed Merle, the gun going in the air as it went off. Daryl grabbed his bow, loaded and ready and he ran, making his way to the cabin. Watching in horror and they got the jump on his brother. Charlene heard the shot and yelped, covering her ears as her heart hammered away in her chest. The door was yanked open and she was met by a man with scraggly hair and a grin worse than Merles. He grabbed a fistful of her hair, making her cry out as he yanked her from the cupboard. He pulled her around so her back was to his chest and she tensed when she felt the blade of a knife being held to her neck. She blinked her tearful eyes only to see Merle on his knees, a murderous face as his own gun was held to his head.

Daryl burst through the door, witnessing the standoff. His bow pointing at the man holding his brother at gunpoint. His eyes flit around the place, assessing it, and when his eyes landed on Charlene, trembling as tears streamed down her face, a fucking knife to her throat. It sent a wave of desperate fear through his veins.

“Ya ain’t gotta do this,” Daryl said gruffly, his eyes going to the girl every so often, it was painful, hearing her sniffles as she tried to hold it together.

“We asked nicely, but ya didn't seem very hospitable now did ya?” the man in the middle of the room asked, Daryl mused he seemed to be the leader of the group. The man holding Charlene by the hair tugged on her hair and she yelped, the movement made the knife nick her skin slightly and she whimpered as she felt a trickle of blood drip down her neck paralyzing her with fear.

“Ya can take what ya want, just leave,” Daryl growled, tensing a little as his arms ached under the weight of his bow. The sight of her blood made his heart beat so fast he was sure it would beat out of his damn chest. He needed to fix this now, to come up with something that would get them all out this unharmed.

“Like hell they can! They ain't comin’ in here and takin’ our shit!” Merle snarled despite the gun to his head, as stubborn as always. Daryl shot him a look. A pleading look so full of desperation. Merle's eyes flicked over to the girl then. Seeing the blood, seeing her shaking horribly. He clenched his jaw, his nostrils flaring as he tried to quell the rage bubbling inside of him. She wasn't theirs to touch.

“Take what ya want,” Daryl repeated firmly, sensing his brother’s acquiescence.

“I think we will,” the leader chuckled, waltzing off to the dining table where Charlene had organised the food. Daryl's bow was still on the man with the gun as he watched the leader shove the cans into his pack. He looked back at Charlene and the look she gave him was heartbreaking. Like she was begging for him to help her and he knew he couldn't.

“Let ‘er go,” he demanded, shifting where he stood as he struggled to keep a lid on his temper. He wanted to beat these assholes into the ground but he knew, one wrong move and she would be dead.

“Nah, I think we might just keep her,” the man smirked, nipping at the side of her neck harshly. She cried out, trying to wriggle from his grasp and the knife nicked her again, causing more blood to fall down her neck as she let out a strangled sob. The sound made Daryl's heart hurt unbearably and a low growl rumbled in his chest.

“Son, ya better pray we don't find ya after this, I’m gonna cut ya damn hands off,” Merle smirked maliciously at him, a deadly look in his eyes. The man shifted uncomfortably under that look and Daryl knew he should have. He knew Merle would do just that and Daryl would fucking help him.

“Alright, let's go,” the leader barked after taking most of their food, walking back to where they stood.

“What about the bitch?” the man with the knife asked.

“Let her go, ain't worth the trouble,” the leader huffed as he walked past Daryl with a shit eating grin. Like he had the upper hand and he could do fuck all about it. The man with the knife shoved Charlene way from him so rough that she fell, her knees hitting the floor painfully and she cried, gut-wrenching sobs leaving her lips that felt like a punch to Daryl's gut every fucking time. The other men left through the door, the three of them walking down the porch steps.

Merle stood up, grabbing the gun he knew was tucked in Daryl's waistband since the asshole had taken his, and they didn't even need to communicate. A bolt flew fast from Daryl's bow at the same time as a bullet from the gun Merle was holding. The bolt went right through the knife man's head, Merles through the asshole who had him at gunpoint. It all happened so fast, the leader turning around seemingly in slow motion when the bodies dropped like sacks of shit, eyes wide as if he was actually shocked they had done that. Merle squeezed the trigger again, sending the leader flying backwards with a shot right between his eyes. They stood there a moment, the pair of them panting and Merle wiped his nose. He didn't realise it was bloody until now. Maybe they should have felt bad, taking lives like that, but it was survival now. Those assholes would have come back, both of them knew it. Us or them...

Suddenly the sound of the girl's sobs broke through the air and Merle walked over to her. Startling her when he crouched down.

“Hey now girlie, let me see,” he said softly, softer than she had ever heard him talk before. She sat up, sniffling and sobbing softly, tears streaming down her cheeks. Merle grabbed his rag from his back pocket and held it over the cut. It looked worse than it was but he knew it would still hurt. Especially for a dainty little thing like her. Despite killing the men, the rage still sang strong through Daryl's veins and he slammed the door shut, tossing his bow to the floor as he stomped off to the bathroom. When he emerged, he held a small first aid kit. He looked on as Merle held the rag to her throat. He clenched his jaw before walking over to them.

“C’mon Tiny let's get ya to the couch,” he muttered tensely. Her brain was fuzzy, she was in shock and she felt like her brain was malfunctioning, feeling disorientated.

Daryl and Merle helped her to her feet and Daryl lead her to sit on the couch as Merle went to the kitchen to wash his face and clean up his nose. The cut on her throat was like a glaring beacon in the night to him. Mocking him for failing her and he felt his chest constrict painfully.

“I’m gonna move those assholes so they don't attract none of the biters,” Merle announced as he walked out through the door. Daryl glanced at his retreating form before back to the girl. She looked shell shocked and he could hardly blame her. He cleaned her wound, hating how she whimpered and tried to pull away from him, hating how he was hurting her. She kept sniffling, calming down a little as he bandaged her up. He thought having the bandage would help him, not being able to see the wound. But he knew what was under there, he couldn't fucking unsee it.

He leant forward, resting his head in his hands as he ran them through his hair, tugging on it harshly.

“M’sorry,” he lamented, sounding so broken. She frowned as she watched him, blinking slowly. Her eyelashes were soaked and her eyelids felt heavy.

“You didn't do anything,” she whispered, watching as he sat up, his hair sticking up at odd angles after tugging it.

“If I was here…” he started, a deep frown on his face.

“They still would have done it, Daryl,” she said softly, looking down and toying with her hands.

“I thought...I thought they was gonna…” his voice cracked and it was higher than she'd ever heard it before, his chest heaving as he glared at the floor.

“Me too…” she muttered, her hand going to the bandage instinctively. He glanced at her, looking so much like a young boy that it sent an ache through her chest. But as quick at the vulnerability was there, it was gone. A coldness returning to his eyes.

“I ain't letting ya outta my sight now. I don't care if either one of us has to piss, ya stick by me,” his voice was almost a growl and her cheeks flushed, the thought of him being there if she needed the bathroom. But his tone told her not to argue, so she looked down and nodded. She knew he was still blaming himself for this even though he hadn't done a thing wrong. She stood up, making her way to the kitchen table and her heart sank when she saw only a few cans left. She knew Merle would get them back from the man's pack before he did whatever he was doing with them, but it was just a reminder of the ordeal she had been through. It seemed to do the same to Daryl as he stood beside her, glaring at the table with a clenched jaw. She glanced up to him, taking his hand in hers gently. He tensed for a moment, looking at her warily. She squeezed his hand, blinking up at him with those sad green eyes as they filled with tears once more. He felt a lump in his own throat forming.

His chest heaved as he tried to stuff it down and he turned to face her, his hand winding into the back of her hair, fingers massaging her scalp, soothing where the monster had tugged so harshly just minutes ago. Her eyes were drooping as she looked up at him silently, just taking comfort from his touch.

“Ya should rest,” he rasped, his voice sounding scratchy as he lowered his eyes to the floor, removing his hands from her soft hair reluctantly. She nodded, not wanting to argue. She had been through too much for one day. She walked over to the pull out bed and climbed in it, closing her eyes and willing away the memories of the day.

Daryl turned around, his jaw set as he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. He couldn't get the image out of his mind, watching as that bastard touched her like that, hurt her, fucking scared her. It wasn't enough that he was dead. It did little to soothe the flames burning inside of him like a raging inferno. Things had been good and they went to shit so fucking quickly. He knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. And like fuck he was making that mistake again. He wasn’t letting her out of his sight no matter what, he wouldn't fail her again. Never a-fuckin’-gain.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag @keeperofwonderlandus @jodiereedus22 @easnuppa @fand0m-fiend

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#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon writing #twd #twd fanfiction #twd fanfic #The Walking Dead #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead fanfic

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taehyungiesnoona · 6 years

Text

myg | Affection (m)

⇢ summary : After waiting six long months, I’m finally reunited with him. Never did I know I could feel this. I never realized how much I wanted this, until now. Min Yoongi wasn’t exactly the affectionate type.

⇢ pairing : female reader x Yoongi

⇢ genre : romance, (soft) smut, boyfriend!yoongi, a hint of fluff

⇢ rating : NSFW

⇢ warnings : explicit language, sexual themes, unprotected sex, pull out method. (A/N: please be safe everyone.)

⇢ word count : 4k

⇢ A/N: This was my first attempt at writing anything smut, bear with me. Looking at this now, I see a def improvement in my writing and will be continuing this with another one shot in the future. I hope you enjoy this cute little Yoongi fic. Happy Reading~ (added on 08/1//2018)

»»———— ONE SHOT ————-««

I remember the day I was at the airport to see him off, tears rolling down my face.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

Though he came off pretty stern, I knew he had good intentions. That was one of the things I liked about him. Despite normally coming off a bit coldhearted, deep down he cared. Yoongi showed me in his own ways that he cared. I held my head down, tears continuing to roll down my cheeks and onto my shirt.

“I’m just really going to miss you that’s all.” I said in between sobs.

We had already been dating for a little over half a year now, and I guess I was spoiled with the fact that after their last album’s promotion, Bangtan Sonyeondan got to rest. Which meant I spent a lot of time with Yoongi, whenever he wasn’t in the studio working that is.

But good things come to an end and the boys were going back on tour.

We stood there for a bit, I didn’t want to look him in the face because he would scold me whenever I cried, he didn’t like to see me upset. I kept my head down, looking at the concrete floor and seeing the many footsteps of those at the airport.

I could hear the other member’s talking as well from a distance. They were very aware of our relationship but Yoongi hardly showed me affection when they were around. Or really at all for the matter. But that never changed how I felt about him. I fell for who he was as a person, and I would wait for the day that he would be more affectionate with me.

Good things come to those who wait, as the saying goes.

“Aish.” I heard him mumble before he grabbed me into a hug.

He held me close, making sure to conceal my crying face. Our bodies were pressed so close together, that I was taken back from this. Yoongi being affectionate with me? In public? My eyes widened as the tears came down once more.

I could hear the other members, mostly Taehyung and Jimin teasing us. I couldn’t hear what they were saying exactly because for that brief moment, the only thing I could focus on was this man holding me. My boyfriend.

“I’ll be back, promise me you’ll wait for me.” he whispered into my ear and sent shivers all down my spine. “Promise you’ll wait for me, Y/N.”

All I could do at that point was nod my head as confirmation. Of course I would wait on him. I cared about this man dearly. I wouldn’t let a tour get in the way of that.

“Good.” the whispers continued. “I’ll see you in six months.”

He let go of me and for a quick second, he kissed my cheek softly before walking away into the airport. My face burning up from the blush that was forming on my cheeks. I was no longer crying.

As I stood there watching his figure disappear into the busy crowd, I fell in love with the man that was Min Yoongi.

It had been six months. Six long months since I had seen him. I won’t lie and say I didn’t count the days down, because I did. Being without him was hard, but I knew the day would come when we would be reunited.

Today was that day.

I was scurrying around my place, looking for the perfect outfit to wear. Clothes were being tossed around. I wanted to make sure I looked my very best for when he saw me. I pictured him seeing me, that cute gummy smile across his face, and him saying “Wow, you’re so beautiful.”

My face immediately grew hot at the thought of him complimenting me. I held my face in both my hands, shaking it back and forth. A girl can dream right?

“Eep!” I squealed. Excitement was definitely rising up in me.

He was going to be here in person. No more video calls, no more waiting, I just needed to find the perfect outfit. Why was this so hard? My eyes soon drifted to a cute floral dress hanging in my closet. I tilted my head a bit, it was definitely cute.

It was a crisp white color that was off shoulder and hit right about the knee. The floral detailing is what really made this dress stand it. The flowers itself were a soft pink color that complimented with the white very well and the vines were in a luscious green color.

I only wore this dress a few times, and come to think of it, Yoongi has never seen me in this. This was what I was going to wear. Quickly taking off the t shirt and shorts I had on, I put the dress on and walked over to my mirror.

It really looked nice on me. A smile was forming as I continued to stare at the reflection. He’s going to love this. I thought. My attention was now on my hair, which was still in a messy ponytail from the day before. Pulling the scrunchie off, I twirled a few locks around my fingers.

Curly or straight?

My brow furrowed as I bit my lip in concentration. Today was one filled with decisions it seemed. Pondering which style suited this dress more, it truly was quite the challenge. But the conclusion I was able to come up with was curly. Loose flowy curls. I was going for quite the girly look today.

It didn’t take me long to wash my face and curl my hair, and before I knew it, I was slipping on a pair of cute pink flats and was heading out the door. I was so ready to be face to face with him once again.

Never in my life did I think I would rush the way I did. I made it to the airport in record time. And my place wasn’t necessarily close either. I wasn’t much of a runner but boy did I run. I ran so fast, that I didn’t realize that the back of my flats had dug into my heel. Didn’t even noticed the pain until I was at my destination.

The pain stung so much now that I was still. Being the crybaby I was, I held back the tears. My makeup, though very minimal, looked very nice today and would hate to ruin it. Most importantly, I didn’t want Yoongi to see me in tears. He left seeing me that way, can’t have him come back to it.

Just suck it up. This will be all worth it once he is here. I kept telling myself.

I was standing at arrivals, my hands now behind my back as I swung my body back and forth. ARMY were out here as well, many fan sites as well as the press, their cameras ready. As soon as one member could be spotted, it was going to be a mad house. When they departed, there was no where near as many people as there was right now.

I moved my hair a bit to cover my face, since our relationship was out in the open, I didn’t want the press to come to me and ask any personal questions. Thankfully, no one was paying attention to me. Everyone’s eyes were glued to the sliding doors. I did manage to hear a few high school girls that were behind me whispering.

“Look!” one of them said as I could feel their eyes burning into the back of my head. “Isn’t that Yoongi’s girlfriend?”

It’s safe to say my cover was indeed blown. My muscles tightened a bit.

“You’re right.” the other one confirmed. “Let’s not bother her though. I bet she’s dying to see Yoongi. Unnie looks amazing though.” she giggled.

A small smile was creeping on my face. Though Bangtan Sonyeondan were pretty much known internationally, their fan base sometimes were the sweetest things. I only say sometimes because with a fandom you have the good and bad apples. We won’t talk about the bad ones.

I quickly turned around to meet eyes with the high schoolers, giving them a shy wave, both of them ecstatic I was aware of their presence. They squealed silently to themselves as I turned around to see the sliding doors were opening and cameras began flashing. Loud screams now filled the area.

The first one out was Jungkook, followed by Namjoon, Seokjin, Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung. They all waved to the fans as well as the cameras. I looked around, he was missing. Where was Yoongi? I looked at the members making sure I didn’t miscount but there was indeed only six present.

My heart was slowly beginning to sink.

The rest of the boys took notice of me, waving to me happily. I returned the gesture, held my lips tight, trying to disguise my sadness. The crowd seemed to be moving towards them, girls yelling their lungs out over their appearance. I had to check one more time now to see if he was there, since now the crowd was covering the doors.

Peeking my head up over the crowd, there was still only six. Where the hell was he? Was he even on the same flight as them? Did something happen to him? I slowly began to make my way over, trying to get one last glimpse since so much was happening.

That’s when I felt something warm grab my hand. It was warm and soft. My body froze from the contact, eyes widening. Then his voice spoke, making my heart pound.

“Y/N?”

I turned around to face him. He looked absolutely stunning. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt, black jeans, red and black Nike's, a black leather jacket and a black beanie. This was indeed Yoongi.

He looked to me, though you could tell he was tired from the long flight, he smiled. He was smiling that cute smile I grew to love. He was eyeing me up and down, making me a bit nervous since I couldn’t recall if he ever checked me out.

He was checking me out right?

He pulled me by the hand and once more I found myself running. This time alongside him.

“Yoongi?” I questioned. “Why are we running?”

“We’re getting out of here.” he replied. “Let’s go before the press notices us.”

“But, what about your luggage?”

“Yah, you’re full of questions today. The other members are taking care of it. Just run.”

He yanked my arm a bit to make me run faster, weaving in and out of the crowd. Time seemed to slowed down. The world around me seemed blurred out. The only thing certain was him. Nothing else matter to me at that moment but him, holding my hand, and us both smiling.

We walked into my apartment. I was clearly out of breath, Yoongi on the other hand, was fine and dandy. Which was a bit weird because he wasn’t the type who liked exercise. We both proceeded to take off our shoes at the entrance. As soon as I walked out of my flats, I felt blood trickling down my heels. Yoongi took notice of this as well.

“You choose the wrong day to wear those.” he laughed a bit.

“I didn’t know I was going to be running so much.” I retorted back.

His eyebrow shot up at my snarky comment. He shook his head a bit and began walking away.

“I’m gone for six months and I come back to my girlfriend having an attitude.” his infectious laugh was now echoing through the apartment.

Feeling a bit bad for my remark, I stride behind him at a slower pace. He made his way into the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet, coming back with two band aids in his hand as well as a peroxide wipe. My heart couldn’t help but melt at the sweet gesture. He knelt down, took the wipe out of it’s package and began cleaning the wounds.

The peroxide making contact with my cuts made me wince in pain.

“Don’t be such a baby.” he teased.

I kept quiet, not wanting to say anything out of line like before. He proceeded to take the band aids out of their wrappers and placed one on each heel. By this time, the pain I felt was already gone. I smiled down at him, looking at his gorgeous black hair that was still underneath a beanie.

“Thank you.” I said to him in a sweet voice.

He met eyes with me once more, causing my heart to race. His hand that was still at my heel, began making its way up my leg, sending goosebumps everywhere.

“Y-Yoongi?”

He was off the floor now, his hand resting on the back of my head, his eyes staring into my soul. My face was burning a bright red color from the eye contact. I was at a loss of words. Not giving me time to process what was going on, his lips crashed into mine. Passionately.

I don’t remember when the last time we ever kissed on the lips was. I think it was when I confessed to him my feelings. I made that move though, this time around it was the opposite. Yoongi initiated. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle this.

His other hand made it’s way around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He deepened the kiss, not giving me the chance to breath. His other hand entangled themselves in my hair, not wanting to let me go.

Instinctively we both moved towards the couch, our kisses becoming more and more passionate. I fell on the couch, Yoongi on top of me. He broke the kiss, looked down at me, his bangs covering his eyes.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.”

Before I could respond, his lips met with mine once more. His hand making it’s way underneath my dress, touching my stomach. I felt shivers running through me again.

We’ve never been this physical before. Though very new to me, I didn’t want it to stop. I had to show him I wanted this as well too. I brought a hand up to his chest, bringing him down closer to me. I yanked his leather jacket off, tossing it on the floor. Soon after his beanie made it’s way there too. I got up from my lying position, Yoongi taking notice of this and began to pull the dress up over my head. I broke from our kiss, hurrying to get myself out of it so I can feel his lips once more.

His eyes were once again focused on me, taking in the sight of me in my underwear. I could see him biting his lips as he flung his shirt off. This was the first time I had ever seen his chest. Though he didn’t care for exercise too much, his body was in such good shape. He looked amazing.

Yoongi pulled me back into a kiss, this time a sliver of his tongue met with mine. His hands made contact with the skin of my back as he began to unhook my bra effortlessly. He laid me back down on the couch, one of his hands cupping a breast. Kisses were now trailing down my neck and before I knew it, his mouth was on the other one.

He was very gentle as he sucked on my nipple, his tongue tracing around it in circles. I felt desire rise up in me as a soft moan escaped from my lips. His hand which was now moving from my breast, began dancing down my stomach and underneath my panties. My body quivered from the sensation of his touch. I could feel myself getting aroused for him. My panties becoming wet.

His finger slowly began to insert itself inside of me, making me gasp a bit. In a good way. Yoongi looked up, his eyes becoming more and more alluring by the minute with the intense gaze he was giving. He smirked a bit while his finger went in and out. My face burning from all the excitement and pleasure that was building up in me. Moans now coming out more frequently.

No time was wasted as my panties were being slid down my body and onto the pile of clothing on the floor. He grabbed my hand and ran it over his bulge, showing me that he too was aroused. It was so hard and just the thought of it made me want to feel more. I yanked at the button of his jeans, forcing them to become undone. Once they were, I pulled down both his pants as well as his boxers, exposing his erect penis.

My hand began stroking it, feeling it pulse in my hand as it was getting more hard. I could tell that Yoongi was enjoying this since he threw his head back against the couch. Seeing him enjoying himself turned me on so much. My strokes picking up in pace, I gaze at the man before me, watching his every reaction.

“You’re so fucking good at that.” he murmured.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I desired him so much. I wanted all of him. I needed all of him. Since he was already leaning up against the couch, I took it as an opportunity to have my way with him. I straddled myself on top of him, grinding against his cock. It felt so good against me, but I knew it would feel ten times more better inside of me.

Grabbing him from underneath me with one hand, I eased my way down onto him. Damn, he felt so fucking good. His arms wrapped around my body as I began to ride him. Up and down I went, Yoongi’s eyes rolling to the back of his head. He liked this just as much as I was. I too, threw my head back in pleasure.

“Fuck.” was my response to the amazing feeling.

Yoongi licked the corner of his lips as he grabbed my waist with both hands and made my movements faster on him. You could hear the clapping of skin mixed in with our moans. His moans sounded so sexy, every time one of them came out of his mouth it sent me in a frenzy. Never did I know I could feel this. I never realized how much I wanted this, until now.

Had I been sexually frustrated all this time without knowing?

Sweat was flowing down my body as he still had control of my movements. My hips swaying back and forth against him. And with quick ease, I soon found myself on my back and Yoongi hovering over me. His thrusts into me were slow, very sensual. It gave me the time to catch my breath. I looked into his brown eyes, finding myself lost in them. This man was truly beautiful.

From the corner of his forehead, beads of sweat were forming as he began to thrust more quickly in me. This was the breaking point for me as I became a moaning mess.

“Yoongi!�� I tangled my hand into his hair, closing my eyes from the pleasure I was receiving.

“Y/N” he called back out to me.

His pants became more and more heavy, his hands grabbing my hips once more, causing him to go deeper into me. The room had become so hot from the passion the two of us were making, and I could feel a climax coming from my end.

My arms wrapped themselves around him, bringing him closer to me, his hot breaths could be felt on my skin. He was moving in me so fast, I knew he was reaching an orgasm as well.

“Oh shit.” he whimpered.

I opened my eyes and returned my gaze to him. I was holding back, I wanted to finish alongside with him. But the feeling was hitting me full force and I didn’t think I could hold back any longer.

“I’m going to cum Yoongi, I’m going to cum!” my nails dug into his skin.

Arching my back up, utter bliss fell onto me as I climaxed. My moan came out very loud, almost like a scream because it felt so good. The world around me seemed to be spinning, this sensation was truly something else. It was euphoric.

My orgasm was so intense that I didn’t even realize that Yoongi pulled out and a pool of cum was on my stomach.

“Oh wow.” escaped from my mouth.

“Sorry I didn’t give you any notice about pulling out.” he began. His breaths still heavy. “You looked incredibly sexy when you came I didn’t know what to do.”

He got up from the couch and made his way over to the bathroom once more. This time he returned with a package of wipes I kept under my sink. He carefully took out a few and started cleaning up my stomach.

“Also, can’t have you getting pregnant.” he added with a laugh.

Still coming back down to earth, I took in his appearance once again. Watching him clean up his mess, carefully swiping the wipe across my skin. Having got everything off on me, he walked over to the trash can and threw away the wipes.

I looked up to the ceiling and thought to myself. Never did I imagine that this would happen on the day we reunited. I was thinking he’d probably want to sleep. He probably didn’t want to do much since he traveled across the globe the last half year. But that didn’t happen. No, something more magical happened. Something I would always cherish deeply in my heart. This day wouldn’t be remembered as the day we reunited. This day will be engraved into my mind as the day:

We made love for the first time.

He sat back down on the couch, placing my legs across his lap as he caressed them. Without me noticing, he managed to put his boxers back on. His fingers softly tracing up and down them, he stopped to pat them.

“Go take a shower Y/N. I’ll take one right after you and then let’s make dinner. Because I’m starving after all that.”

He really was the cutest thing I ever came to know. Though many people always assumed that Min Yoongi had this ice cold exterior to him, deep down he was a complete softy. I loved that I was seeing this side to him.

I sat up on the couch, legs still stretched across his lap, his fingers once again caressing my skin. Not caring at all that I was still naked our glances met once more.

“Yeah, sounds good.” I giggled.

As I was about to get up, he stopped me, pulling me back down onto his lap.

“Hey.” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Hmm.” I hummed.

He pulled back some hair that was sticking to my neck, moving it away, exposing the skin there. He planted a long kiss, giving me goosebumps once more. Yoongi moved closer to my ear, his hot breath tickling it. Our relationship would then change due to the fact that three words would come out of his mouth. Three words that I never thought I would hear.

“I love you.”

That’s when I knew for certain that what me and Yoongi had was real. It took us sometime to get here but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I knew in my heart this was where I wanted to be. Alongside him. His. I grabbed his face, bringing it closer to mine, pecking him softly on the lips. This was definitely who I wanted to have my heart. Every bit of it.

“I love you too.”

And so, I gave my heart to Min Yoongi. He owned every part of it from that day on. And though this day was full of decisions, this would be the one I would never regret.

[ THE END? ]

A/N: Isn’t Yoongi fucking adorable?! I wanted to portray a softer side to him, since most fics I’ve read he’s more coldhearted and aggressive. This again is my very first attempt at smut, hopefully it wasn’t too bad. There will be a sequel to this fic, just don’t know when it will be.

♡ masterlist

#BTS #bangtan sonyeondan #BTS fan fic #18+#yoongi x reader #smut

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