#has spoofed this artwork

[maliciouscigarette]

The sack of Rome, August 24th 410 CE, colourised.

Art by Psicochurroz

#196 #196 migration #apartmentofawesome #r/196 #/r/196 #historical shitposting #art history shitposting #historyposting #HISTORY LESSON INCOMING #Rome was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 C.E. #Joseph-Noel Sylvestre #depicted this in a famous painting #The Sack of Rome by the Barbarians in 410 #this artist #psicochurroz #has spoofed this artwork #replacing the big beefy barbarians with cute goth girls #hope this helped! until next time

[softpine]

COCO ARIAS (nicolexxx099) accepted your follow request. Now you can see their photos and videos.

[transcript]

fun facts:

AVA (Adult Video Awards) is a spoof of the real life AVN (Adult Video News Awards). Best Blowbang Scene is a real category. The other award Coco won was in the following year, for Best Actress (which is not as coveted as Best Female Performer, but still an honor). She was nominated for at least 10 more.

Bounce FM is a fictional radio station in GTA San Andreas.

Bronzers is a spoof of Brazzers.

"amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got" is a partial quote from Eulogy from a Physicist – Aaron Freeman.

Credit for Coco's profile picture goes to clownne! I commissioned this artwork a while ago 💖

All other account names and references are entirely accidental! (Don't sue me.)

michelle.lovely (Shelly) is Coco's best friend and roommate. She was sitting next to Coco at the house party Casper attended. On the far left is rod_the_stallion (his real name is Anthony).

I'm not even going to begin to explain who real.g (G) is yet. But that's his irrelevant little brother (Jesus) on the couch between Shelly and Anthony. (I promise you don't have to remember any of these people, it's just fun to show off the side of Coco's life we don't get to see from Casper's perspective!)

Speaking of Casper, he's the one whose follow request was accepted by Coco's personal account. She only has 53 people following her, so, you know, it says something about how trustworthy she actually finds him to be, despite how much she keeps trash talking him every time they run into each other :P

I feel like I shouldn't spell anything else out or I'll ruin it, but feel free to ask any questions if you want to know more 💖

#camellia #frozen pines #coco arias #oh shit i forgot to transcribe this but i'll do that tomorrow!! #i don't usually post things this late but listen. listen. i need this #and maybe some of you need this too lol

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 25/03/2024

The Life and Times of Wade L.D.

Season 3 Part of: The SiIvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis

Directed by Smoky, Chaze the Chat Music by dante Full list of credits on Wiki

Requested by Jiko Music! (Request Form)

Five years. It's been five whole years since the third season of SiIvaGunner came to an end. Five whole years since, in some ways, the channel began charting a course that would change it's direction forever. Season 4 Episode 1's mission statement was incredibly concise - to return the channel's chaotic, unpredictable nature of the Season 1 days, and to deliver on the absolute titan of an event that was the King for Another Day Tournament. After various production woes in the Christmas Comeback Crisis' main storyline and a newfound interest in other ventures through the King for a Day Tournament, it became evident that there simply wouldn't be much room left over in the itinerary for the channel's ongoing storyline in 2019. And so, in a way, Season 3's finale marked the day that the channel's storyline bowed out to a backseat position - yet with The Life and Times of Wade L.D., they did so with utmost splendor.

I've said before on here, at least way back on 時の回廊 ＜ver. CCC＞, that I don't wish to get too hung up on dissecting the Christmas Comeback Crisis storyline in particular - compared to most other lore on the channel, the form it takes is one that any average viewer is well able to dissect and watch on their own without much added context needed. I adore the series and wish to celebrate it - particularly its later endeavours - with my whole heart, but if I did I feel as if I'd inevitably be writing up to pages in the triple digits. Yet even if you're not all too familiar with the Christmas Comeback Crisis, be it as a newer fan or just plainly someone uninterested in the lore, it's pretty immediately noticeable that The Life and Times of Wade L.D. has a far different feel to it than other endeavors in the series. For one, the story told doesn't follow a character like Wood Man or Smol Nozomi or Haltmann, but an entirely new character - one who is created and (seemingly) ceases to exist entirely within this storyline. It is in some ways a standalone story - one that, perhaps more noticeably, is presented in an incredibly unique fashion - through an chronological archive of various recordings, emails, receipts, logs and photographs all centered around the titular Wade L.D. character. A character who, for the first time in the Christmas Comeback Crisis story, depicts the life of the everyman in Grandiose City - those who are not heroes nor villains, but are simply trying to exist within this strife-filled world that The Voice Inside Your Head unleashed at the series' beginning. Three years deep into this storyline, and it's officially become so much more than just the fun Kirby: Planet Robobot spoof that Patched Plains Fusion Collab, Mother's・Caption (We Paused The Channel For HOW Long?! Mix), The Noble Haltmann and so many more rips were all themed around. With Season 3 in particular, we'd gotten so many deeper insights into how this universe's world and operations were undergoing, small little peeks behind the curtain - it only makes it all the more befitting for the season to end with a full-on investigation of the truth. "Trust Nobody. Doubt Everything."

I believe its fair to say that The Life and Times of Wade L.D. was one of the most ambitious individual videos the team had made at the point of its release. Throughout its entire, gargantuan 30-minute runtime, we're spoiled with quality in so many different areas, from the fantastic artwork that maintains the story's mysterious atmosphere perfectly, to Smoky's remarkable writing being able to effortlessly ping-pong between seriousness and sly comedic jabs and references, to the soundtrack done entirely by the CCC series' sound director and certified GOAT, dante. Before the King for Another Day Tournament had the world floored, it was The Life and Times of Wade L.D. that kept impressing me with every turn - the commitment the team still had to this story, despite the clear signs to move on from it that they would eventually take in the years to come, was awe inspiring.

All of this is punctuated by what perhaps sets the story apart the most from other CCC productions - the full voice acting of all spoken and/or recorded dialogue. Season 3 was still a time where the voice acting the channel would have was typically in jest, either through sentence-mixing, text-to-speech, or through jokey rips altogether such as Haltmanna feat. Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. Before Season 4 Episode 1 and onward would bring proper voice-acted performances for characters like John NotWoodman, DJ Professor K, and Joke-Explainer 7000, we had this. And perhaps unsurprisingly, it is that titular character, Wade L.D. himself, voiced by ripper CaptainComedy, who through my every rewatch still impresses me most in his performance. At once, CaptainComedy's performance feels tired, fed up, exhausted, yet also like someone no more different than you or I - a true everyman, a cog in the machine, yet one with pent-up anger and frustration building up inside of him, anger that comes out as events unfold.

Its hard to not get excited, as a big lorehead, to have the narrative in question focus so much on loose ends set up by prior CCC events and Haltmann's Archives videos. The presence of 2B from Nier Automata as a prominent character, the direct callbacks to the first-ever side story in Waluigi's Tacostand and establishing its bizarrely critical plot importance, the building drama between Haltmann and The Voice, the investigation onto SiIvaGunner's empty house and the traces of Woodman's presence there from the very start of Season 2...there is such an overarching feeling of satisfaction throughout all of The Life and Times of Wade L.D., as if I'm being genuinely rewarded for having paid attention to all of the channel's workings ever so extensively. All capped off by a genuinely touching narrative about the gradual collapse of a man's life.

Yet more than that satisfaction, what I love most about The Life and Times of Wade L.D. - above the music, the story, the artwork, the lore, or whatever else - is how much it still truly feels like a SiIvaGunner production. CaptainComedy's performance is incredible, yes - but right alongside him, you have channel founder Chaze the Chat playing a literal self-insert of himself, dubbed by only the most modest amount of investment into the role, althewhile making references to Maroon 5 and Kara's Flowers. There's references and nods to prior CCC episodes, an ongoing bait-and-switch joke that sees "Dr. P", set up to be a reference to the Dr. Piccolo meme, actually turn out to be referencing Dr. Pavel of Baneposting (Maskettaman - Dr. Pavel's Fly​-​So​-​Good) fame. There's just this subtle cheekiness to it all - never any sign that the episode and the storyline aren't being sincere, yet with countless signs to remind you of just how much fun the team are having in producing this story. A beating heart. A passion.

There are so many readings one could make of the storyline, that I don't know where to - or even if I should - begin. In our real world, the SiIvaGunner channel is a passion project driven entirely by voluntary contributors, a group of people contributing to a greater whole as a hobby out of love for the channel, their craft, and one another. It stands in stark contrast to the version of SiIvaGunner that The Voice Inside Your Head seeks to create, a symbol of the whiniest of fans of the channel's early days, and it stands in even starker contrast to what Haltmann further wishes for it to be - to produce rips as content, as products, as a job to attend just like Wade L.D. himself does. Wade's journey is one of excessive overwork, of burnout - perhaps not of making rips, yet with work pertaining to SiIvaGunner itself althesame. The environment Haltmann has created necessitates that Wade finds escapes from his job in order to feel relieved from it, that his work offers him no relief or fun - that the act of contributing to SiIvaGunner's growth is, at this stage, no longer something done out of passion. The Christmas Comeback Crisis, as meme-filled as it and the entire channel its hosted on is, is a form of a dystopia, if a subtle one, and the insight we get into Wade's life shows just how dire a project like SiIvaGunner could, in a far-worse world, be.

I could, really, as I said before, go on forever about this, about any Christmas Comeback Crisis episode. The series means the world to me, the CHANNEL of SiIvaGunner of course means the world to me as well - but it was, as I've said many a time before, through Season 2 that I unabashedly fell in love with the project. The Life and Times of Wade L.D. was everything I could have ever wanted a side story of the Christmas Comeback Crisis to be, and it warms my heart to see so many people from the team still cherish it. Be it dante reminiscing on how important of a project it was for him as a composer, or indeed this post's requestee, Jiko Music, arranging the episode's main theme for RIP^2 just last year with the beautiful LD. Its clear that it's so much more than just another piece to the SiIvaGunner lore - as perhaps SiIvaGunner's best Season finale second only to the one Season 7 just provided us, The Life and Times of Wade L.D. is downright incredible.

#todays siivagunner #season 3 #siivagunner #siiva #Smoky #Chaze the Chat #dante #soundcirclet #CaptainComedy #rip visuals #extended credits #christmas comeback crisis #ccc #siivagunner lore #king for another day #kfad #siivagunner kfad #wood man #siivagunner woodman #kirby planet robobot #Bandcamp

[the-fandom-crossroads]

Hoyofair Spring 2024 Creator Links!

Like last Hoyofair I'm making a post linking to the youtube channels of each project shared at hoyofair! Be sure to follow the creators and support their main channels so they can keep making amazing projects like these!

Galactic Abyss Chronicles - 神·潜行瞬杀 and others

I actually found the director, head animator, and head modeler on Bilibili! Here Real proud of myself because he has no accounts on the western internet. He hasn't posted the full short on his account yet but he does have a fananimation for the Apex Legends X FFVII Rebirth collab.

From what I can tell this is also the first Genshin related animation he's done which is cool. The rest of the creators seem to be from the CN fandom as well although I could not find their Bilibili's from a quick search

Ranked DayCare - by No_Tables

Their first Hoyo short was at Hoyofair 2023. So it's great to see them back with a new bit. Now with Klee!

Moonlit Bamboo Forest - Passion Paris

So this is apparently an Academy Award winning Animation studio!? Passion Pictures is the studios name and the Paris branch animated this short. We have legit 2D animation studios submitting Shorts to Hoyofair now. Wow!

Needless to say this was the short with the most unique animation style. And one of my top favorites this year.

Trial by Combat - ???

So this one seems to be just a collab of a bunch of animators. Like I can't find the project manager online (too generic a name for google). The head animator has a twitter but Twitter changed at somepoint where it won't let me view a direct link to someones profile without being logged in. I ain't creating a twitter for this rabbit hole. his username is rabbitoldman if you want to look him up. But he hasn't made any tweets with the word genshin as far as google's concerned.

I just can't find one sorry.

Progenitor: The Surface - dillongoo

Ex- RWBY animator returns with episode 3 of his "if genshin was a cyberpunk anime" series. The first two episodes hit so hard and the 3rd episode does not disappoint!

Realm of Faith: Live Actually - Type Zero Inc

Another legit animation studio for the animation. They don't have a youtube so i don't know if they'll ever upload the full version anywhere other than hoyofair.

But! The two songs have been posted on the singers youtubes with longer versions!

majiko(Furina), 4s4ki(Lumine), Wolpis Carter(Venti)

Chogakusei (Wriothesley), Amatsuki (Childe), 96Neko (Arlecchino)

Domain 404 - LucHD

Their first and only other Hoyofair short was shown over a year ago at hoyofair 2022. But Luc has returned with a full 4 minute short filled with Spiral Abyss and other meta in jokes. Diluc out here maining a C6 Bennett lol.

TitanSlayers: Edge of Oblivion - Kieru

Kieru once again turns in an amazing action packed animation. The last one was the Persona spoof with Lyney and Lynette. But my favorite of theirs is Cyno vs Anubis and the Gods

Shenhe Awaken - Rhinocore

They made a previous short for Hoyofair but that one was never posted to a youtube channel other than hoyofair. So I'm going to assume they don't have a youtube and this one is just going to say on Hoyofair as well.

---

And that's all the Creators from this Hoyofair! It was less creators than the winter one but I feel like that might be because multiple shorts are nearly 10 minutes.

But which one was your favorite? Do you like the change to less but longer shorts? Or do you wish they went back to more shorts 2-5 minutes long? Let me know in the tags! And be sure to follow all these guys on their youtube's so you can see the teaser trailers they post a few days before each Hoyofair.

#Youtube #hoyofair #hoyofair 2024 #genshin #genshin impact #genshin fanart #genshin creators #douglimemes

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

 Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

Rated PG for action/violence, rude humor/language, and some scary moments

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2023/12/review-puss-in-boots-last-wish-2022.html>

Score: 5 out of 5

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is a movie I missed last year, which made it kind of annoying to hear so many people praising it to the heavens as one of the best animated films in years, not least of all because I'm the kind of guy who does not like spoilers. Flying down to Florida just in time to share a house with three little kids over Christmas break gave me the perfect opportunity to check it out, and the only thing I'm disappointed about is not seeing it sooner. It doesn't reinvent the wheel or have any pretensions of being a particularly revelatory movie, but it's still an outstandingly well-put-together one in everything from the animation to the characters to the humor to the mayhem. Putting it side-by-side with Shrek, the film that put DreamWorks Animation in the spotlight and which this one is a sequel to a spinoff of, shows just how much the studio has evolved in the twenty-plus years since then, going from mischievous, Looney Tunes-esque pop culture spoofs with barbs aimed directly at Disney to a kind of family-friendly, character-driven adventure comedy that's clearly inspired by the Mouse but still has enough unique style and dramatic edge to stand out. I don't really have much to add to the conversation on this one except to say that it's easily one of the best films that DreamWorks has ever made, especially given what I thought of the movie they released just eight months before this, and one that I expect to stick around as a classic just like Shrek itself.

Set in a fantasy/fairy-tale version of Spain, our eponymous protagonist is an intelligent cat who has exploited his nine lives to become an adventurer who doesn't fear death... at least, not until he loses his eighth life thanks to his carelessness fighting a monster attacking a town. Suddenly, he no longer feels so invincible, especially once he encounters a mysterious wolf bounty hunter who seeks to claim his ninth and final life after watching him squander his previous eight. Going into retirement in an elderly cat lady's home after burying his sword and gear, Puss is dragged back to the world of adventure when Goldilocks, the thuggish leader of the Three Bears Crime Family (guess who her "enforcers" are), seeks to hire him to find the Wishing Star, a magical rock that would grant one wish to whoever discovers it -- and she won't take no for an answer. Puss decides that this star is his key to regaining his nine lives, and with help from an old flame named Kitty Softpaws, he sets out to find it himself, staying one step ahead of Goldilocks, the evil businessman "Big" Jack Horner who wants it for his own ends, and of course, the Wolf.

The look of the film is one of the most immediately striking things about it. While it's not the first film to use cel shading to make computer animation emulate the look of hand-drawn animation while being distinct from both (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and The Mitchells vs. the Machines did something similar recently), it's going for a different set of influences than those films, its look instead resembling a mix of the fairy tale artwork that the Shrek movies have always spoofed and anime in the action scenes. The settings feel lifted almost from a highly stylized painting or storybook, while the action looks downright sublime, the film's characters doing battle, chasing one another, and facing various treacherous foes on their quest for the Wishing Star in all manner of awesome ways. Even as cats, Puss and Kitty came across as credible and cool adventure heroes, especially with Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek Pinault leaning heavily into their live-action screen personas, Banderas playing Puss as a riff on Zorro where the only real "parody" element comes from his species and Hayek playing Kitty as the cool femme fatale who has history with the hero that they'll inevitably have to settle. Florence Pugh was hilarious doing her best gender-flipped Ray Winstone impression as Goldilocks, especially with the real Winstone himself voicing one of the three bears (alongside Olivia Colman and Samson Kayo), while John Mulaney made Horner into an absolute bastard who I couldn't wait to see get his well-deserved comeuppance. At first glance, with three separate groups of characters all racing for the Wishing Star, this film can feel sprawling, and yet it always manages to tie these three stories together in a way that feels organic.

The key to doing this was the Wolf. From the moment we're introduced to him, he's presented as a metaphorical representation of death itself, an impossibly skilled fighter who trounces and nearly kills Puss in their first encounter and who is seemingly unstoppable from that point onward, every meeting he has with Puss feeling like it could be their last. The film's comedy stops dead cold whenever the whistling announcing his arrival starts up, Wagner Moura's performance lending him an almost demonic menace without going over-the-top into cackling supervillainy. He is one of the best villains I've seen in any animated film in a long while, a no-nonsense monster whose evil combines the most terrifying elements of an unstoppable force of nature and somebody who hates you personally, the closest thing that a family film could come to an outright slasher movie villain. There have been many jokes made about this film having one of the most realistic depictions of a panic attack in any animated film, but watching it, it was no joke: I understood immediately how this guy completely disarmed Puss' suave, arrogant demeanor and left him a trembling wreck running for his life. The Wolf wasn't just scary, he was a perfect villain for Puss, a representation of how his wasted life is finally catching up with him, and watching Puss reach a place where he can finally confront the Wolf and turn the tables on him was immeasurably satisfying.

From this, we get a fairly simple moral that largely boils down to a celebration of living life to the fullest rather than either wasting it on hedonism or remaining stuck in an idealized past. It's nothing revolutionary, but not only is it exactly the kind of thing that the fairy tales this movie is sending up have long embraced, it's well-told enough that I fully bought into it. If the original Shrek was a deconstructive parody of fairy tales that sent up their moral messages while offering a few of its own, then this film serves largely as a more faithful, straightforward throwback to them, amped up with a swashbuckling action/adventure plot and some jokes for the parents but otherwise falling squarely within the modern, post-Kung Fu Panda DreamWorks wheelhouse.

The Bottom Line

It's a very straightforward movie once you get past the stylish animation, but hardly to a fault, as it's still a riotous, heartfelt, and just plain awesome ride that delivers exactly where it counts and doesn't overstay its welcome. Easily one of the best family films of the last ten years.

#puss in boots #puss in boots: the last wish #shrek #2022 #2022 movies #animated films #dreamworks #adventure films #fantasy #fantasy films #family films #action films #antonio banderas #salma hayek #florence pugh #wagner moura #olivia colman #ray winstone #john mulaney #kitty softpaws

[marryat92]

YE SKIPPÈRE

With artistic credit to Frank Marryat, one of the Captain's sons: an utterly ridiculous 1840s portrait of Frederick Marryat at home in Langham, Norfolk where he spent his last years.

This isn't the first time I've shared Frank Marryat's art, he also drew "A Happy Family." Both pictures are reproduced in Tom Pocock's book Captain Marryat: Seaman, Writer, and Adventurer—but only in the print version, not the ebook—and are printed in greyscale, although they may have originally been in colour. The source is given as the National Maritime Museum, Greenwich, but I can't find any references on the NMM website.

In the spirit of Eighteen-Forties Friday, Frank's artwork of his father demonstrates that 1840s pop culture was not only fascinated with medieval aesthetics: they could also spoof it in Ye Olde Memes. Marryat holds "ye snuffe" tobacco in one hand, and "ye Peter Simple" and "ye Jacob Faithful" represented as scrolls in his pocket are "ye wittie sayings." He has ye mansion (Langham Manor Cottage, no longer standing), ye croppes, and ye Dumple—his slightly notorious pet horse, Dumpling.

And there is literally a snail. (You can't have medieval marginalia without one!) The bottle of "ye soda" on the ground was unexpected, but soda fountains in pharmacies existed at the time, and sweetened carbonated beverages as well as mineral waters were commercially produced and sold in the early 19th century.

#frederick marryat #captain marryat #1840s #Eighteen-Forties Friday #frank marryat #marryat family #victorian #medieval memes #early victorian era #biography #tom pocock #captain marryat: seaman writer and adventurer #frank drew another pseudo-medieval pic of one of marryat's friends in langham #rip frank marryat you would have loved the internet

[downthetubes]

Lew Stringer has another "Daft Dimension", a First Doctor inspired strip, published in Doctor Who Magazine 552 in 2020, up for sale on eBay: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/204625616249

The strip features the First Doctor, Susan, and David Campbell spoofing a scene from "The Dalek Invasion of the Earth". Original art size: 320mm x 170mm including borders. Lew will sign the art if you want if your bid is successful

All of Lew's current artwork items for sale including "Tom Thug" and Pete's Pimple" work from Buster and Oink, are here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/graphite47

#downthetubes news #doctor who #lew stringer

[denimbex1986]

'A Barbie-Oppenheimer mashup movie, better known as Barbenheimer, is actually happening. The portmanteau "Barbenheimer" was coined to describe the Internet phenomenon surrounding Barbie and Oppenheimer's same-day release date on July 21, which inspired memes, mash-ups, and merchandise. Despite being diametrically opposed in style, tone, and aesthetic, many moviegoers decided to do a double bill of the two blockbusters, which ended up making "Barbenheimer" the biggest cinematic event of the year.

Now, a Barbie-Oppenheimer mashup movie is actually in the works. According to JoBlo, a "wild comedy" titled Barbenheimer is in pre-production from the notorious B-movie company, Full Moon Features. Along with the announcement comes the first promotional art and a synopsis about fed-up dolls building an atomic bomb. The artwork also includes the utterly ridiculous tagline, "D-cup, A-bomb" and teases that it's "Exploding Soon." Check out the synopsis and poster below:

Deep within Dollsville, a group of fed-up female dolls – led by the brilliant Dr. Barbenheimer – build an atomic bomb. Their mission? To bring down the patriarchy once and for all! But as the battle of the sexes swells, will Barbenheimer and her bevy of beauties end up blowing up more than they bargained for? Comedy, drama, action and Armageddon erupt in Full Moon’s latest freaked out fantasy film, BARBENHEIMER!

What To Expect From The Barbenheimer Movie

While Greta Gerwig's Barbie and Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer are both critically and commercially successful films that will be in serious contention come awards season, the mash-up movie from Full Moon Features will be far from that. The project is from one of the most notorious B-movie studios in existence and appears to be nothing more than a low-budget mockbuster intended to capitalize on the Internet phenomenon surrounding the two successful movies. The project is planning to begin filming next month and is aiming for a Christmas 2023 release on Full Moon’s streaming service.

It's unknown who is writing or directing the movie, though Full Moon founder Charles Band is producing. The studio, which was founded in 1989, has been behind the direct-to-video series Puppet Master, Trancers, and Subspecies. Some of their recent releases include Subspecies V: Blood Rise and Demonic Toys: Jack Attack with AIMEE: The Visitor and Bad CGI Gator on the way. Barbenheimer can now be added to that list, and while it might garner more attention because of its name recognition, the spoof movie is unlikely to re-capture what made Barbie and Oppenheimer such an exciting cinematic event.'

#Barbie #Oppenheimer #Barbenheimer #Christopher Nolan #Greta Gerwig

[chicken0death]

Yesterday was our regularly scheduled gaming day. We played a neat little game about running our very own TV networks. The game was called "The Networks"

The players start out with shows nobody is watching and you have to finance new shows, hire stars for existing shows, and attract advertisers to help pay for the shows and stars. The shows were delightfully named and illustrated spoofs of real shows. Like Agents of S. H. A. M. P. O. O. or Chanmail Bikini Warrior, or Hour of Shouting (just people shouting).

I loved the theme and artwork. However, I didn't do a good job. I saved money early on, which was, apparently, the wrong move. R. did great! She had a sizable lead the whole game and managed to maintain it throughout.

Next up, we played a game I almost forgot we owned. I'm glad I rediscovered it. I forgot how much fun it is.

The game is Isle of Skye

It's got some vague theme about Scottish landowners. I really don't care about it. And that's fine. This game is a lot like Carcassonne, but players have to buy the tiles they want from each other. You have to set prices to right to tempt the money away from your opponents, but not too high, or you may be stuck with a tile you don't want. The game only has five rounds and you only place a maximum of 3 tiles per round. One bad tile can really mess up a plan. Sometimes you want a tile you draw and set the price high on purpose to try and keep it for yourself. This always leads to grunts and curses when someone at the table buys it anyway. As frustrating as it can be, it's always a fun moment.

I love this game so much! How could I have forgotten about it? The artwork is a bit bland, but it's pleasant and easy to read what's going on. It's easy to teach. It strikes a nice balance in its passive aggressiveness. Not too mean, but not exactly nice. And it makes for a fun little puzzle to try and piece together.

I lost this one pretty bad too. J. had a glorious lake that kept generating points for him. But I don't care. It was a great time!

We played a game of Everdell with Jh. I forgot to take pictures. We'll play again in a couple weeks and I'll talk about it more then. This one took some time to grow on me. Seemed a bit bland at first, but I like it quite a bit now.

It was a good day of gaming.

#board games #games #The Networks #isle of skye #everdell #game day #losing #Not winning

[the-empress-7]

So… I’ve got some well established contacts within Hollywood - my dad is an award winning director and my mom is a well known producer. I work in producing and have acted on and off too and through my parents & my own career, I’ve heard a lot over the last year and a bit about the Sussexes.

Tyler Perry didn’t want to have strangers living rent free in his own home but Oprah forced him. There is a strong rumour that she organized for him to get access to the Sussexes for royal spoofs, and to do things surrounding British racism, and also paid him herself. It didn’t stop him badmouthing them and criticizing them pandering to white racists. He knows about Harry dressing as a Nazi too.

Tyler actually has had them blacklisted after Meghan abused and threatened his staff, with one woman actually terrified of her. Tyler and my mom have close friends and have worked together before. She apparently had a go at Tyler.

Tyler likes to support African American communities and hires predominantly African Americans even in his home. His staff have served him for years and he trusted them. What I’ve heard is that Meghan was vulgar, violent and vile towards the women working in the home, and there has been a strong impression made that she was colorist, and was mocking one specific woman with Harry as this one woman had a strong accent, and Tyler Perry told them to get out as he doesn’t stand for racism from anyone especially the likes of Meghan.

Meghan did keep messaging and emailing him and even Oprah to try forcing him into selling the home to them for dirt cheap, and blindsided Tyler by having decorators arrive at his home, only for one of his staff to contact him in Atlanta asking if the decorators were permitted. Tyler’s decor and style were not what Meghan wanted or liked to say the least. He has spent a lot on artwork made by African Americans, pieces referencing his work and other ones focusing on his awards and successes. They also kept wanting more security in place, more cameras put in, for coverings put up, better cars, for better chefs, trying to get him to give them industry or moneymaker contacts.

Meghan also wasn’t happy being given only a wing of the home even though it is HUGE. My parents have visited there before and even though we’ve lived in sizeable homes, Tyler has a huge home. A wing of it would be a veeery large home for anyone!

Oprah apparently got tired and angry being pestered by Meghan that she told her it wasn’t her problem and if she didn’t like Tyler’s home then she and Harry need to get their own, and such Oprah helped broker a deal on the Montecito home… Montecito is filled with actors, actresses etc and all of them that have spoken to myself or my parents have HATED Harry and Meghan.

Nothing stays secret there. They are never seen outside, never walking their dogs or out seen with Archie or even Lili. Meg Ryan recently is said to be fuming at them using her. Meghan doesn’t drive, Doria is never seen. They do seem to be getting iced out because of their antics and feuding.

Netflix and Spotify… well how many industry heavyweights have turned against them, it’s unsurprising that they have done nothing even with lesser knowns getting podcasts done. Hell I’ve even done podcasts and had it done in under a month. Netflix is apparently because of Meghan’s past industry rep and current rep. George Lucas and his wife Mellody can’t stand them and one thing Meghan and Harry in particular kept saying was that they were friends with George and he would back them… well they have been cut off from Disney because of that and from DreamWorks. Disney aren’t happy that she’s trying to steal their animation and poach talent from them. The Starbucks cards weren’t paid by Meghan either, they are usually given free by Mellody to events she works with, and she didn’t appreciate being taken advantage of after all her hard work. My dad is friendly with George, and his wife was mortified by Meghan and how she treated her. George doesn’t like anyone mistreating his wife and disrespecting her.

Katy Perry feud is 100% true. Archie is not having play dates with Daisy at all. Nobody in their neighborhood has even seen him out, not on a bike or walking around with Meghan or Harry or nannies, or at play parks etc. Most kids in the area come from powerful or famous rich families and are seen running around being normal from an early age. I’ve been to the area a lot growing up myself. Orlando is friendly with an actor friend of mine and he HATES Harry and especially because of his Nazi uniform as Orlando has Jewish family, and just generally how they are attacking step parents, stepchildren/siblings and half siblings as he has a son from a previous relationship. Neither Katy or Orlando would ever leave Daisy alone or have her around Harry and Meghan.

Adele… well I’ve heard that she has been having drink nights with Harry every so often with some other Brits which Meghan doesn’t like. On the set of Ellen, Meghan was heard swearing about how he keeps mixing with “that drunk Brit bitch” and how she needs to stop it. Elton isn’t friendly with them and David is only attached to Pearl by name only… none of his animated films work out well tbh.

Anyways that is what I’ve heard about the Sussexes over the last year or so within the industry !

New Tea*

All alleged and for entertainment purposes only.

#new tea #Tyler Tea #tea alert #industry anon

[theyareweird]

The Bendy & the Ink Machine Contest Winners for Chapters 2-4

The fan art contests were a series of events where fans could submit their Bendy fan art during the development of Bendy and the Ink Machine game. If a person won, the winners’ fan art would appear in one of the games or the franchise’s apparel products. Winners also received rewards, like free copies of the game series or a mystery box filled with merchandise. Through these contests, more in-universe Bendy cartoon episode posters were created by fans.

1. Bendy in Train Trouble

The first fan art contest was for Chapter 2: The Old Song. It started on February 16th, 2017. The contest expired on March 2nd, 2017. The only in-universe Bendy cartoon episode poster was created by ImaginateKate. The artwork seems like a spoof of Disneyland’s “Big Thunder Mountain Railroad” ride. When the first Bendy game came out, fans couldn’t help but wonder if this franchise was inspired by the idea of Disney turning dark. It’s fun to imagine what conductor, Bendy, would do if his train was about to fly off the rails. Of course, this dangerous event would most likely occur if Boris became distracted by food and accidentally caused an explosion down in the mines.

2. Bendy & Boris Go to Hell in a Hand Basket

On April 22nd, 2017, the fan art contest for Chapter 3: Rise and Fall opened. It ended on June 15th, 2017. The first in-universe episode poster for this contest was created by Shannon Marie. This is an oddly specific concept for an episode. At first glance, it looks like the two pals are zooming down a mine cart in an abandoned mine. However, a peculiar large picnic basket is somehow sliding down a track headed straight to Hell. It would be interesting to see how all of these random elements fit in the cartoon universe.

3. Alice Angel in Siren Serenade

In second place is Prismahays. Although Alice is sitting on a rock out in the middle of the ocean, she doesn’t appear to have a fin on the poster. Despite this, it’s possible her usual strapless gown has been temporarily modified into a tail for the episode. After all, Alice is singing her “daring solo debut” with a ship sinking in the background. It wouldn’t make sense for her to not be the fish siren mentioned in the title.

4. Bendy in Hell Firefighter

At third place is an artist named Nao Sasaki. Oh the situational irony. The only reason Bendy might put out a fire supposedly in Hell is the possibility of his angelic friend, Alice, needing to be rescued. Of course, Boris might also need saving too. This is assuming the friendly wolf was in the building when the fire started because, he left the stove on while eating. However, this is only an idea. Bendy’s friends are most likely not in the cartoon this time as the two aren’t mentioned in the poster’s title.

5. Bendy in Hell’s Kitchen

Next, at number four, is Noisypaperdragon. This pun is genius! For the fans who like to ship Bendy and Alice Angel together, perhaps this plot could involve the demon taking his angel out on a date to Boris’ restaurant. At some point the devil darlin’ wonders why food isn’t being sent out and discovers Boris only opened the place to supply food for himself. To save the date, Bendy rushes into the kitchen and prepares a special meal for his lady. In the end, he serves Alice bacon soup and the requested orders come piling in. It wouldn’t be surprising if this in-universe episode was Joey Drew’s idea of presenting Bendy’s famous bacon canned soup.

6. Bendy Is Rosemary’s Babysitter

October 14th, 2017, started the Chapter 4: Colossal Wonders fan art contest. It ended on December 20th, 2017. The first winner is Weretoons. Rosemary is most likely a one-shot character who was only intended for the single episode because she’s not listed in the cast of characters. Despite the mysterious woman, it would be interesting to see how a demon takes care of a crying baby or a toddler. Perhaps the baby is innocent and the mischievous devil causes all kinds of problems, which he has to pay for later.

7. Bendy in Showbiz Bendy with Boris the Wolf & Alice Angel

What a title for a single cartoon episode. MissPeya created the artwork with the lengthy name. The basic story idea for this episode is clear. Bendy is hosting a magic show performance. Alice is his lovely assistant. While searching the audience for an additional assistant to participate in the trick, Boris is unfortunately selected. The friendly wolf was most likely munching on some popcorn when he was taken on stage by surprise... With that said, Boris was also most likely not paying attention to the show.

8. Bendy & the Butcher Gang in Demonic Tonic

Cary is the third winner for this contest. If Charley, Barely and Edgar can be presented as the Butcher Gang when together, why can’t Bendy, Boris and Alice be called “Bendy & Pals” when featured together? Regardless, the poster seems to be advertising an “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” book vibes. If this idea isn’t what the artist had intended, then it’s possible the Butcher Gang somehow obtained a magic potion and are running around causing mayhem with it.

9. Bendy Goes on a Treasure Hunt

It seems odd for Bendy to head off in search for treasure without his friends, but there isn’t a particular reason why Boris or Alice would join Bendy either. Merkurfisch is credited to this artwork. This idea could defiantly work for an fun episode, especially since Bendy is no stranger to long-distance traveling. It would be interesting to know how Bendy was informed of the buried treasure. The legend of this rare find could be a dark tale where Bendy discovers an important detail missing from the story— The gold and gemstones within the chest are cursed.

10. Bendy in Nightmare Circus

Looking at this artwork, it’s easy to think Bendy has joined a creepy carnival for Halloween. However, there isn’t anything in the poster to imply the seasonal influence other than the “Haunted Mansion” font styled text from Disney. Despite this, the in-universe episode could have aired as a Halloween special considering Bendy is a demon. Regardless, the “nightmare” implication is potentially foreshadowed in the fire. Something will most likely be set on fire eventually. The credited artist is named ATAT.

What do you think? Can you believe these were all fan-made? Do you like the fan art? If not, why? Which artwork is your favorite? Please share with me!

#article #fan art #bendy and the ink machine #horror game

[theguildawards]

Categories

Please keep in mind that these are subject to change pending participation and suggestions.

There are 32 categories in all - 16 for Fanfiction and 16 for Fanart. Please adhere to each categories’ definition when nominating. If a nomination does not fit within the definition, it will be disqualified.

☆Fanfiction Categories☆

- Best Action/Adventure Fiction

Action: “actual engagement in fighting an enemy; military or naval combat” Adventure: “participation in exciting undertakings, missions, or enterprises”

Does it make you sit on the edge of your seat? Do the characters battle adversity on a daily basis? Have the characters embarked on an epic quest?

- Best Alternate Universe/Reality Fiction

Anything that walks outside of Mashima’s vision. Anything that moves the characters outside of Mashima’s settings of Ishgar or the Alvarez Empire is AU/AR. Anything that changes the main characters beyond the basic core attributes Mashima granted them. Anything that includes a separate world and series of events.

- Best Canon Fiction

“The work of an author that have been accepted as authentic.“

If the story is set in Mashima’s universe and keeps the character origins, events, and motivations for character development that he created, then it is canon.

- Best Canon Divergent Fiction

Anything that walks outside of Mashima’s original vision, but includes some key defining moments from the original canon universe. Anything that starts in the World created by Mashima and is taken to a different outcome.

- Best Angst Fiction

“Any situation or series of events having/giving a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish. An acute but nonspecific sense of anxiety or remorse.”

Stories that delve into the lives of the characters and pit them against odds that create angst.

- Best Dark Fiction

Anything that brings the reader into a world of pain and suffering through abuse of the characters at the hands of the antagonist or internal strife. If it includes graphic rape, murder, abuse (mental or emotional), a character that is suicidal or possessed of depressing thoughts/outlook on life that colors the majority of the story in glum tones it can be considered a dark!fic. Can also be aimed to cause an overwhelming and painful feeling due to something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; fear. Aimed to frighten or ‘gross out’ the reader.

- Best Drama Fiction

“Any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results.“

Stories that delve into the lives of the characters and take the readers with them on a journey through the gambit of emotive expression.

- Best Humor/Parody Fiction

Did it make you laugh? Did it deliberately spoof the anime/manga?

- Best NSFW Fiction

Sexual content/smut with plot. Both oneshots and specific chapters from multi-chapter fics are accepted in this category. If coming from a multi-chapter fic, a link for that specific chapter is required. Must include content depicting an act of the sexual nature; i.e., sex, masturbation, heavy petting/touching, etc.

- Best Oneshot Fiction

Any fiction that spans the length of one chapter. This can also be a fiction that contains more than one chapter provided that each one was posted at the same time and specifically deemed a “oneshot” by the author.

- Best Character Portrayal

A fic in which the author has created an in-depth characterization that, while it may diverge from Mashima’s vision for them, managed to attract the reader. *Nomination must include the specific character*

- Best Romance Fiction

“Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love”

Stories that have developed a believable romance between two male/female characters. “Believable” is subjective, and it is up to those nominating/voting to draw their own line on that quantifier and vote their “Best”.

- Best LGBTQ+ Fiction

Stories that have developed a believable romance between two or more characters. “Believable” is subjective, and it is up to those nominating/voting to draw their own line on that quantifier and vote their “Best”. This excludes male/female pairings.

- Best Serial Fiction

A collection of drabbles or oneshots or a combination of both that makes up one larger story.

- Best Ficlet

For drabbles and poetry - of any genre or pairing - consisting of 1,000 words or less.

- Best Completed Fiction

A story with multiple chapters that will no longer be updated and should be listed as ‘complete’.

✻Fanart Categories✻

- Best Action/Adventure Artwork

Any fanart depicting adventures, engagement in fighting an enemy, or battles.

- Best Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Artwork

Any fanart depicting the characters in an alternate reality or universe setting that walks outside of Mashima’s vision.

- Best Canon Artwork

Any art featuring the characters in a canon setting.

- Best Angst Artwork

Any art depicting a scene having/giving a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish.

- Best Dark Artwork

Any art that brings the viewer into a world of pain and suffering through the abuse of the characters at the hands of the antagonist or an internal strife. It can include graphic murder, abuse (mental or emotional), a character that is suicidal or possessed of depressing thoughts/outlook on life that colors the piece in glum tones. Can also be aimed to cause an overwhelming and painful feeling due to something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; fear. Aimed to frighten or ‘gross out’ the reader.

- Best Humor/Parody Artwork

Any artwork which evokes a feeling of amusement in the viewer.

- Best Kiss Artwork

Any artwork depicting a kiss between two romantic characters.

- Best Romance Artwork

Any romantic depiction of a male/female pairing of Fairy Tail.

- Best LGBTQ+ Artwork

Any romantic depiction of two or more characters of Fairy Tail. This excludes male/female pairings.

- Best NSFW Artwork

Any artwork portraying the characters of Fairy Tail engaged in a sex scene or a scene hinting at a sexual relationship. Can be one character, a pairing, or multiple characters.

- Best Character Artwork

Any artwork that is a ‘still life’ of one character. It may be bust only, bust and torso, or full body. The portrait should seem more ‘professional’ than a snapshot in its form and presentation, and should successfully convey a sense of the character’s canon personality to the viewer.

- Best Duo/Pairing Artwork

Any art that features two characters; be it a comic doujinshi, painting, drawing, sketch, etc. If other characters are included in the picture it is only allowed as a background. The focus MUST be on the pairing. The art can reflect either a platonic relationship or a romantic relationship between the two characters.

- Best Group Depiction Artwork

This artwork must feature 3 or more of the Fairy Tail characters to be eligible.

- Best Manga Coloring

Any panel taken from Fairy Tail manga and colored by the artist.

- Best Redraw Artwork

Any art that is a redraw of a scene from the manga or anime.

- Best Overall Artwork

The quality, time, thought, and emotion that went into this piece is what would make it worthy of this nomination. Please take note: The general idea is not the “best of what’s nominated” or “best of show.” It is a category created specifically for art appreciation. That means that even if the characters are OOC, AU, or not drawn in anime style, etc., the ART itself is worthy of praise.

#theguildawards #ftawards #categories

[brokehorrorfan]

Spaceballs will be released on 4K Ultra HD and Blu-ray on April 13 via Kino Lorber Studio Classics. The 1987 Star Wars spoof is directed by Mel Brooks (Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles).

Brooks wrote the script with Thomas Meehan (Annie) and Ronny Graham (To Be or Not to Be). Brooks also stars with Bill Pullman, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Daphne Zuniga, Dick Van Patten, George Wyner, and the voice of Joan Rivers.

Spaceballs is presented in 4K with Dolby Vision High Dynamic Range and features 5.1 Surround and 2.0 Lossless Stereo audio options. It includes reversible artwork. Special features are listed below.

Special features:

Audio commentary by writer-director-actor Mel Brooks

Force Yourself! Spaceballs and the Skroobing of Sci-Fi with writer-director-actor Mel Brooks and actor Rudy De Luca

Spaceballs: The Documentary

In Conversation with writer-director-actor Mel Brooks and writer Thomas Meehan

John Candy: Comic Spirit

Film Flubs

Watch Spaceballs in Ludicrous Speed

Storyboards-to-film comparison

Behind-the-scenes gallery

Posters & art gallery

Exhibitor trailer with Mel Brooks introduction

Theatrical teaser

Theatrical trailer

In a distant galaxy, planet Spaceball has depleted its air supply, leaving its citizens reliant on a product called "Perri-Air." In desperation, Spaceball's leader President Skroob (Mel Brooks) orders the evil Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) to kidnap Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) of oxygen-rich Druidia and hold her hostage in exchange for air. But help arrives for the Princess in the form of renegade space pilot Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and his half-man, half-dog partner, Barf (John Candy). 

Pre-order Spaceballs on 4K Ultra HD or Blu-ray from Amazon.

#spaceballs #mel gibson #bill pullman #john candiy #rick moranis #daphne zuniga #kino lorber #kino lorber studio classics #dvd #gift #star wars #dick van patten #george wyner #joan rivers #spoof #comedy

[sablelab]

👻 Spooky meets Kooky 🎃

SUMMARY: Claire reminisces about the time when she first came to Scotland and fell through the stones on the eve of Samhain. Jamie tells her a story his da told them as bairns, and Claire recaps her favourite Halloween memory from the future which has James Fraser all engrossed in more ways than one.

A spoof of when the past meets the future.  Retelling parts of Chapter 1, pp 22-25 from Drums of Autumn, inspired by Halloween with the Addams Family and Vera Adxer’s artwork above.   

  AO3

PART 1 … The Tale of the Tannasg 👻

 It was nearing to Halloween time on Fraser’s Ridge, and as the Frasers prepared for a night beside the fire, Claire was reminiscing about times gone by on that fateful night that was to become her destiny.

“Jamie, Halloween, the spookiest night of the year, is almost upon us.”

“Don’t ye mean Samhain Sassenach?” he replied cheekily knowing that the two were indeed similar celebrations centuries apart.

“I do, but I was just thinking about the first time that Frank and I came to Inverness all those years ago … I remember it was on the eve of Samhain.”

She continued to tell Jamie the conversation they’d had in Mrs Baird’s Bed and Breakfast not realizing that her husband’s mind was elsewhere. “I can still recall what she said …”

“Well, you've picked a bonny time to be here. Just nigh on Samhain.”

“I take it that's Gaelic for "Halloween?”

“Well, Halloween is derived from Samhain. You're both welcome at the festival, of course.”

“Of course, what would Halloween, Samhain, be without a good ghost story?”

“Oh, and we have those, for sure. I hope you'll join us for Samhain tomorrow night.”

“What, the pagan festival?”

“Aye. There’s a circle of standing stones on the hill just outside the village, and there's a local group who still observe rituals there. It’s a place called Craigh na Dun and according to local folklore, the stones were carried there from Africa by a race of Celtic giants …”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hmmph!  Not Frank …” Jamie mumbled under his breath tapping his fingers against his thigh in dislike.

The mention of Frank Randall’s name only brought back his feelings towards the man he had sent his Claire back to on the eve of Culloden knowing that he would surely die on the battlefield. His emotions were still raw about this man even after all these years and their conversation about him and their daughter Brianna echoed in his head as Claire was still speaking.

“I hadna thought ever to be so jealous of a dead man. I shouldna have thought it possible.”

“Of a dead man? Of Frank?”

“Who else? I have been worm-eaten wi’ it, all these days of riding. I see his face in my mind, waking and sleeping. Ye did say he looked like Jack Randall, no?”

“How? How could you think of such a thing?”

“How could I not? Ye heard her, Claire; ye ken well what she said to me!”

“Brianna?”

“She said she would gladly see me in hell, and sell her own soul to have her father back—her real father.  I keep thinking he would not have made such a mistake. He would have trusted her; he would have known that she … I keep thinking that Frank Randall was a better man than I am. She thinks so. I thought … perhaps ye felt the same, Sassenach.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser …!”  Claire remonstrated noticing that her husband seemed a little distracted, “… Are you listening to me?”

“Aye, I am Sassenach,” he replied sheepishly knowing that his mind had indeed been elsewhere.  “I’m intrigued about that night in Inverness, and what happen to ye before ye fell through the stones.” Jamie looked at his wife and gave her his full attention to what she might say next.

“Do you know that if I hadn’t gone to see the Druids that night, and returned in the morning to collect the Forget-me-nots, that I may not have ever gone through the stones and found you.”

“We were fated mo ghràidh.  Ye would have found yer way to the stones regardless because I was waiting for ye on the other side. I thank the day, Murtagh brought ye to me at the cabin.” He leaned towards his love and clasping her hand brought it to his lips placing a tender kiss to the top of her hand and knuckles.

Claire blushed at her love’s romantic gesture and looking at him explained about that night so long ago.  “I remember seeing those Druids dancing.  They were mesmerizing Jamie twirling in circles on top of the hill with their burning tapers. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled at the sight of them, but some small voice inside warned me I wasn't supposed to be there. That I was an unwelcome voyeur to something ancient and powerful.”

“Aye, ye were Sassenach, but that is the mystery of Samhain. It is all about the supernatural, witches, spirits and fire. During the celebrations, people dance around bonfires while the dances tell stories of life and death. What ye saw that night was something magical that drew you tae me.”

“I wouldn’t change anything Jamie except for you sending me back on the eve of Culloden, but we found each other again and that is all that counts.”

“Aye. You belong wi' me. We're mated for life Sassenach. I barley lived for those twenty years wi'out a heart when ye were gone. I lived half a man and accustomed myself to live in the bit that was left. Did ye feel the same?”

“Yes, I knew how that felt, and had it not been for Brianna I don’t know how I would have survived too. But I had you always close because our daughter was so like you Jamie. Your carved initial in the flesh of my palm was also a constant reminder of our love. It gave me comfort whenever I touched it.  When I closed my eyes, I could feel you touching me.”  

Claire looked at the man she adored thankful every day that they had been reunited and that their two-decade separation had been both painful and heart breaking for each of them.  “It was lonely without you, so lonely.”

“And me,” Jamie replied pensively, his voice a soft whisper.  “I saw ye so many times.  You came to me so often. When I dreamed sometimes. When I lay in fever. When I was so afraid and so lonely, I knew I must die. When I needed you, I would always see ye, smiling, wi’ yer hair curling up about your face.” He paused before an outpouring of emotion surfaced.  “During that time apart, I prayed every day that you and our bairn would be safe, for whether I’m dead or you, whether we’re together or apart Claire, I will always love ye.”

“And I you, Jamie.”

“Samhain was the beginning of our destiny Sassenach.  A pagan, Gaelic festival brought us together.” He kissed her palm and rested it on his heart.

Claire could feel his heart beating and her eyes misted over just thinking about the significance of this special time of the year. “All I know of Samhain is what Mrs Baird told us.  Please tell me more Jamie.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Samhain is a three-day celebration in preparation for winter mo ghràidh and a time for kin all around the Highlands tae come together and feast. People believe that deceased spirits and faeries of the Otherworld can easily come into our world, so ye would honour the dead and implore loved ones to bestow some blessing on them in return. Offerings of food and drink are left outside for the spirits, even portions of crops are left in the ground for them.”

Claire listened, attentive to everything that Jamie was telling her.  

“Tricks and pranks are played but blamed on faeries and spirits ye ken. Children disguise themselves as evil spirits by blackening their faces and dressing in auld clothes to go guising door-to-door reciting songs and verses in exchange for food.”

“Why do they blacken their faces?”

“’Twas so that they can venture out safely wi’out being detected by wicked spirits in hope of fooling them and to scare away the ghouls who might want tae harm them.”

“It is so like what happens at Halloween in the future too Jamie. A lot of Scots came to America in the 20th Century and brought these customs with them and they evolved to become extremely popular. There are many similarities to Samhain but also some differences too. In the future people dress up in masks and spooky costumes and the children go Trick or Treating for sweets.”

“Aye, it would seem so mo nighean donn. Samhain and Halloween do seem verra similar.”

“Mrs Baird said that you needed to be mindful for ghosts are freed on the feast days and wander about, free to do good or ill as they please.”

“’Tis true Sassenach. I myself have not seen a tannasg, but there are tales of others who have.”

“A tannasg? What, in Heaven’s name is that, Jamie?”

“Oh, a Dhia … where tae begin,” he exclaimed running his hand over his chin in thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taking a deep breath as if calming himself before he started to explain, Jamie picked up his cup of ale and took a big swig before beginning.  He looked at Claire as she waited for his explanation.

“Some say a tannasg is a balding, six-foot-tall, hairy, Celtic beastie, normally only found wandering around the hills and glens at night. Some say it is eerily like a fogy mist that covers the moors on a dark night and is what ye may call an apparition, a spirit or a shadowy ghost figure. Nobody really kens what it is but, nae matter, a tannasg is verra scary and if you come upon one when out in the glens ye must be verra careful. Sometimes it’s an unfriendly faerie or nymph who may have been holding onto a grudge and means tae cause trouble.  A tannasg would put the fear of the Almighty in ye and scare ye witless.  If ye ever were to meet one it would make yer hair stand up like a man’s cock in the mornin’ Sassenach.”

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!  I’m scared with just the description of one.”

“And so ye should be a leannan.  They are verra scary beasties that ye wouldna want to meet.”

“Oh, I do love hearing a scary ghost story Jamie. Can you tell me any about tannasgs?”

Claire watched as his lip curved up into a smile. He had that twinkle in his eyes that she knew so well whenever he was going to tell a story.

“Aye, I will.  Sit yerself down by the fire and I’ll tell ye one that ma da told us wee bairns that scairt us truly.”

Settling down more comfortably in her chair, she wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and waited for her husband to retell the tale told to him, his brother William and sister Jenny long, long ago.

“I can tell ye a frightfully spooky tale of the past.  It’s a spine-chilling story guaranteed tae give you a good thrill and chill ye to the bones.”

“I think I best have a wee dram of whisky ready for the story you are about to tell then James Fraser.”

“Aye …”  He picked up his cup of ale and they both took a wee sip of their drinks.  “Sláinte. Are ye ready Sassenach?”

“I am.” Claire curled her feet up in the chair whilst Jamie began to tell the tale of the tannasg.

“My father loved telling this story.”

She watched as a muted glow descended over Jamie’s face as the light from the fire fell across his features and highlighted the animation she could see on his face and in his eyes. Claire looked at him waiting with bated breath ready for him to retell this tale, for she knew that she was going to enjoy this story very much indeed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Tis the story of a man who was afraid of being alone in the dark and most mortally scairt of the spirits, ye ken, and how one night he met a tannasg. I remember when my da first told this story. I was mortally scairt too Sassenach.”

His body shuddered a little despite the heat in the room at the thought of the untold story he would tell. “I kept awake half the night, after he told us this tale, though it dinna seem to bother Jenny that much.”

“Oh, my,” Claire uttered her voice eager to hear more. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement, her eyes round with the wonder and intrigue that he would impart with his tale as Jamie began to recount his childhood story.

Settling himself in his seat by the fire, he sat back, his ale cup in hand.  Thinking, he rubbed his hand across his chin collecting his thoughts. Jamie then smiled at his wife wryly glancing at her as he began to recount his tale of long ago.

“Ah, well, it was in the late, cold autumn in the Highlands, just when the season turns and the chill in the air tells ye the ground will be covered wi’ frost come morning.”  

Rolling the pewter cup slowly between his hands, he stared down into the dark ale as though seeing those Scottish peaks in the pitch-black night and the mist that floated across the glens.  Raising his eyes, he looked at Claire.  She was hanging on each word and so he continued.

“Well Jock MacBride’s son brought back their kine from the glen that night, but there was one wee beast missing.  The lad had hunted for it up the hills and down the dales but couldna find it anywhere, so his da sent the lad to milk the two others and set out himself tae look for the lost cow.”

“Go on …”

“The da went some distance, but his cottage behind him soon disappeared.  When he looked back, he couldna see the light from the window anymore and there was no sound but the whistling of the wind.  It was cold, but MacBride went on trapsing through the mud and heather as the ice crunched beneath his boots echoing in the stillness.”

Claire pulled her shawl around her shoulders. If her husband could see her eyes, he would have seen that her pupils were decidedly larger. She was so engrossed with his story thus far and took another wee sip of her drink. With eyes fixed on Jamie, she couldn’t wait to hear more of his tale.

“Soon up ahead of him, Jock saw a small grove through the mist and thinking the cow might have taken shelter beneath the trees, he went toward it. However, the trees were birches, standing there with nae a leaf, and with their branches all gnarled together, so he bent his head to squeeze beneath the boughs.”

“What did he see when he got through the branches Jamie?”

“He came into the grove Sassenach, and saw it was not a grove at all, but a circle of trees. There were great tall trees, spaced verra evenly all around him and smaller ones too wi’ saplings grown up in between the trees to make a wall of thick branches.  In the centre of the circle stood a cairn.”

Claire felt as though a sliver of cold ice had just slid down her spine.  She got chills listening to him and shivered imagining the scene, for his picture was very real in her mind. She had seen ancient cairns in the Highlands herself that Jamie had just described and found them eerie enough in the broad light of day, let alone to see one at night.  That would have been quite spooky indeed.

Jamie was getting that gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach he remembered feeling as a bairn when his father had told this tale. He looked over at Claire and she had an expression of foreboding for what he may say next on her face that he’d had too. He took a sip of ale to loosen his vocal cords for his mouth was dry before continuing.

“He felt quite queer did Jock MacBride, for he kent the place, everyone did and kept well away from it.  It was strange and it seemed even worse in the dark and the cold than it did in the daylight.  It was an auld cairn the kind laid wi’ chunks of rock all heaped round with stones.   He was scairt, but he slowly glanced up, and saw before him the black opening of a tomb.”

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!  Was there a tannasg in there?”

Her husband gave her a piercing look.  Jamie knew that Claire’s mind was thinking ahead and knew that he was getting close to revealing what Jock had seen.

“He knew it was a place that no man should come, and he was without a powerful charm to ward off any spirits. Jock had naught but a wooden cross about his neck, so he crossed himself with it and turned tae go.”

Jamie paused to take another sip of his ale to catch his breath. Claire saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed and reached instinctively for her own cup with eyes fixed on her beloved. Holding her breath, she gasped, “Don’t stop there. What happened next?”

Giving her the semblance of a wink and a wry grin, he paused then spoke softly stating, “As Jock went from the grove … he heard footsteps behind him.”

“No…!” she exclaimed.

“He dinna turn to see, but kept walking and the steps kept pace wi’ him, step by step always following.  Jock came through the peat where the water seeps up and it was covered with ice, the weather bein’ so cold ye ken.  MacBride could hear the peat crunch under his feet and behind him the cr-ack! cr-ack! of the breaking ice.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

James Fraser was a natural born storyteller, animated and engaging like most Scots were and listening to him speak reminded Claire of their wedding night and the awkwardness between them. She remembered him saying, “You’re a Fraser now Sassenach.  You must learn to tell a story and listen to one.” So, to put her at ease, he’d told her story after story of his family and his life growing up and she in turn had told him about her life too. Her husband was in his element telling this story just like on the night they wed.  She knew, that Jamie was aware that she hung on his every word and was eager to hear the rest of the story.  The tension was building and placing her legs to the floor, Claire removed her shawl as it was getting warmer in the room and leaned forward eager to hear more of his tale.

“Jock MacBride walked and walked through the cold dark night watching ahead for the light of his own window where his wife had set the candle. But the light never showed and he began tae fear he had lost his way among the heather and the dark hills.”

“The tassasg was following him?”

“Aye, he was Sassenach. All the time the steps kept pace with him echoing loud in his ears. At last Jock could bear it no more and seizing hold of the cross he wore round his neck he swung about wi’ a great cry tae face whatever followed.”

There was apprehension in her voice for poor Jock. “What did he see?”  

Jamie glanced at Claire and when next he spoke, his voice was so quiet, almost like a whisper, that she needed to concentrate to hear what he was saying.

“It was a figure like a man, but with no body. It was all white like it might have been made of the mist, but wi’ great holes where its eyes should be. They were black and empty and fit tae draw the soul from MacBride’s body with fear.”

Claire gasped with a cry of anguish at the description, and placed her hand across her mouth. “What did he do Jamie?

“Jock held up his cross before his face and he prayed aloud to the Blessed Virgin,” he said leaning forward intently. “The thing came no nearer Claire, but stayed there watching him.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The dim firelight outlined her husband’s profile in a halo of golden aura which made his rustic hair seem like it had flecks of gold and crimson sprinkled in it as well. Suddenly, she was a little distracted by the man and was mesmerized by his intoxicating Scottish drawl. Claire’s eyes glazed over overcome with feelings for the virile man whose silhouette was oh so tempting in the fire’s glow, but also for poor Jock MacBride and how he would get out of his predicament.  She held her breath and waited for what would happen next.

“And so, he began to walk backwards not daring to turn around again. Jock walked backward stumbling and slipping in an effort to get away from the spirit, fearing every moment that he might tumble into a burn or down a cliff and break his neck, but fearing worse tae turn his back on the cold thing.”

“I would have done the same Jamie.  Better to watch the tannasg than not to know where it was,” she added with a little shiver of dread for the poor Jock MacBride.

“He couldna tell how long he’d walked only that his legs were trembling wi’ weariness. Then at last he caught a glimpse of a light through the mist, for there was his own cottage wi’ the candle in the window.  Jock cried out in joy and turned to his door, but the cold thing was quick and slipit past him tae stand between him and the door.”

“Oh no!”

“Dinna fash Sassenach, his wife had been watching out for him and when she heard him cry out, she came to the door at once.  Jock shouted to her not to come out but to go and fetch a charm to drive away the tannasg.  Quick as could be, Bessie MacBride snatched the pot from beneath her bed and a twig of myrtle tied with ribbons that she’d made to bless the cows.  She dashed the water against the doorposts and the cold thing leapt upward straddlin’ the door’s beam.  Her husband quick as a flash, rushed beneath and bolted the door shut tight.  He stayed inside in his wife’s arms until the dawn hoping that the tannasg would nae come inside the cottage. They let the candle burn all the night and Jock never again left his house past sunset.”

Claire sighed as Jamie finished speaking. “Did they find the cow?” she queried, keen to know the fate of the lost kine.

With a raised eyebrow he answered, “Oh, aye they did.  The next morning, they found the poor beast wi’ her hooves all clogged wi’ mud and stones. It was staring mad and frothy about the muzzle.  Her sides were heavin’ fit to burst. Jock said that she looked as though she’d been ridden tae Hell and back.”

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!” Claire exclaimed imagining the visual of what had happened to the poor cow.

Jamie glanced at his wife to see her reaction to his tale.  “Did ye like it?”

“Like it? … I loved it Jamie. It kept me in suspense all the way through.”

“Thank ye Sassenach.  I’m glad ye liked it,” he replied very pleased with himself.

PART 2 … Halloween Addams Family style. 🎃 

“So, what about you Claire? Do ye have a tale tae tell as well?”

“As a matter of fact, I do Jamie, and when I’ve caught my breath, I will tell you something about Halloween from the future. My tale will not be as scary as your story of Jock MacBride though,” she replied with a cheeky twinkle in her eye. “In fact, it is about something that you might find hard to wrap your head around.”

Intrigued with his wife’s words, Jamie sat back in his chair and waited for her to begin. With a curl of his lip and a sparkle in his eye he asked, “And what might that be Sassenach?”

“Television.”

His brow furrowed in thought and Jamie raised an eyebrow a little perplexed as he glanced at Claire. “Television? … Hmmph?” He tapped his fingers against his thigh in concentration and ran the word slowly over his tongue as if savouring a new morsel of information, he didn’t quite know enough about. “Television ye say.”  He looked at Claire again in earnest anticipation and waited for her to explain.

“Oh dear…” she sighed. “Where to begin?”  Collecting her thoughts on how to explain this invention to her husband, Claire finally had an idea.  “Remember when you rescued me from the Witch Trial and I told you I was from the future?”

“Aye, I remember mo ghràidh.”

“Well this is another one of those things from the future too. It is something from my time. You've never heard of it. No one here has, that is except for Bree and Roger.”

He grinned at her statement of the obvious.  “Well then, I may not understand it a bit, not yet, but I trust ye.  I trust yer word; yer heart and there is a truth between us. So ... whatever you tell me ... I will believe ye, Sassenach.  Tell me more.”

Claire bit her lip before she spoke. “Do you also remember the photographs I brought back to show you of Brianna?”

Jamie made a small inarticulate sound, “Aye I remember.”  

He remembered all too well Claire taking a small packet from her clothing, to show him the photographs of their beloved daughter Brianna, a fine boned, and delicate replica of himself.  He looked up at his wife wondering what the correlation may be with the photographs and this television.

“Well television is those pictures brought to life.”

He remembered how he had splayed his hand out over the photographs, with trembling fingers not quite touching the shiny surface. How was it possible that pictures could be brought to life? He was a little perplexed.

“Television is a machine with a small screen that shows moving pictures and sounds.  They were commonplace in many households in Boston during the 60’s and we had one too. The word "television" comes from the words …”

But before she could finish what she wanted to say Jamie butted in with his knowledge of the Greek language.

“Tele is the Greek word for far away, and vision would mean sight.”

A smile softened her lips, “Yes, that’s right.”

He shook his head in disbelief when Claire described something so unfathomable that it was hard to believe some such machine existed. He didn't understand it all, but he listened.   Claire had risked bringing the photographs of Brianna through the stones and thus brought something of the 20th century into the 18th century. However, although still a little mystified, nothing she had told him about the future fazed him now and he believed her despite how inconceivable what she was saying could be.

“Television was used for family entertainment and we would sit around in our parlour and watch the screen.” Claire’s voice was animated when she next spoke.  “There was a program on the television that you would have loved Jamie, called The Addams Family.  Brianna and I loved that show.”

He grinned.  “I would verra much have liked to see this television program too Sassenach.” If they loved it, he knew he would love it too.

“They were not your typical family; they took delight in most of the things of which normal people would be terrified.  They were kooky and eccentric but they were a very close-knit, extended family.”

“Ah, so just like us here on Fraser’s Ridge Sassenach,” he replied giving her a huge, big smile.

“Yes, I guess, but there was one difference though Jamie, they had decidedly macabre interests and supernatural abilities.”

He balked at that. “Oh, indeed they wouldna fit in well in this time then.  People believe in witches and things that go bump in the night, but they wouldna understand them at all.  They would have their heads on a pike before ye could count tae ten.”

Although Claire nodded in agreement at what her husband was saying for that was exactly what had happened to her.  As he spoke, she was momentarily distracted with thoughts of what had happened in Cranesmuir at the Witch Trial when she was tried and convicted of witchcraft.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

People’s superstitions of anything they didn’t quite understand, especially a person like her was met with fear for they thought her a witch. At the trial, the crowd was baying for blood and wanted to burn her at the stake, and had Jamie not rescued her, that would have been her fate. Nonetheless, he was a little skeptical as well because he’d seen the “devil’s mark” on her arm too. He had calmly asked if she was a witch, because what she had told him was far-fetched. His face throughout her admission was inscrutable and he’d sighed, then smiled ruefully down at her. She remembered their conversation well,

“Claire, are ye a witch?”

“I’m not a witch. Do you really believe me, Jamie?”

“Aye, I believe ye, Sassenach. But it would ha’ been a good deal easier if you’d only been a witch.”

“And if I were? If you had thought I were a witch? Would you still have fought for me?”

“I would have gone to the stake with you, and to hell beyond, if I must!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Claire? … Claire?” Jamie said a little louder as she had been quiet for so long that he was a little concerned for where her mind must have gone, but on reflection it was probably to the Witch Trial when he’d rescued her and she had told him she was from the future.

“Oh, I’m sorry Jamie, I lost my train of thought there for a moment.”

“Nae matter … So, mo chridhe, ye were saying?”

Claire let her husband’s endearment wash over her. Jamie was always so attuned to her feelings and giving him a tentative smile, continued to explain about the Addams family members. “Their mother and uncle lived with them and their children, plus they had a 7-foot-tall butler …  their man servant called Lurch, and a disembodied hand that lived in a box called Thing.”

Jamie shook his head, as what Claire was saying was becoming more fanciful, but he kept an open mind as she described more.

“The husband, Gomez Addams was an extremely wealthy man and was able to indulge his wife Morticia's every desire, whether it was cultivation of poisonous plants or a candlelit dinner in a graveyard.”

He raised his eyebrow again at this piece of information. “That sounds verra interesting,” he murmured somewhat amazed.

Claire smiled indulgently at her love. “You are very much like him.  He was very romantic and he was madly in love with his wife and loved her to distraction.”

“As do I you, mo ghràidh,” before adding, “I think I should like this Gomez fellow.”

She beamed at him once more as Jamie seemed pleased as punch at what he had just said.  

He then blessed himself.  “A Dhia!  But … I willna have dinner wi’ ye in a graveyard, mo luaidh even wi’ candlelight,” he muttered under his breath. He chuckled at the thought of that idea, especially after having just told her the story of the tannasg who had come out of his tomb.  No, he could not come at doing that.

“I agree. I don’t think I would like to do that either, but Gomez and Morticia did. They also had pet names for each other, Jamie.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

His ears pricked up once more when she said this, knowing that his Claire had several endearing names that he called her.  He sighed his voice a little raspy, “Aye, I do that too Sassenach.”

Her smile was soft and dreamy for the loving man she had married, then she told him some extra information. “Despite what I have just said, this television show was very entertaining and so amusing. It had unconventional humour, sex appeal, the breaking and questioning of the conventions of conformity at the time, as well as looking at the world in a unique, offbeat frame of mind.”

“Well then, tell me more mo muirninn. I am an educated man as ye ken, and I can see that perhaps these Addams people were different but nae different from our family. Do they have something tae do wi’ Halloween then?”

“Oh indeed. Halloween was their favourite time of the year and they would bob for crabs instead of apples as most people would do. You see, they were not a conventional family.  They dressed differently to everyone else, they were weird looking and they had peculiar idiosyncrasies.  They even lived near a cemetery at 0001 Cemetery Lane in an ornate, gloomy mansion.”  

Jamie poured himself a whisky this time and laughed as her descriptions of this family were getting more and more unusual.  He refilled Claire’s cup as well and handed it to her, then sat back in his chair to hear more.

“Oh, Jamie I wish that you could have seen it.  You would have loved all the characters but particularly Gomez Addams.  Bree and I would laugh so much. They were so funny.”

Claire paused a little as if thinking about something she remembered then looking at her husband with a mischievous expression on her face asked, “Jamie?  Can you click your fingers?  Like this?” She then demonstrated a click! click! sound.

“I may not be able tae wink, but I can click my fingers ye ken Sassenach.”

She began to set the scene for her tale of the Addams Family. “Well then … Every time I say … da-da-da-da … you click your fingers okay?”

“Okay, I can do that mo nighean donn.”

“I will sing you the theme song that would play when the television show came on screen but I’m going to replace their family name with ours, however, … the da-da-da-da was really played on a harpsichord, but I’m going to improvise.”  

Claire grinned at her love and saw that Jamie was prepared and a little excited to know more of the Halloween tale she was about to unleash on him. “Are ye ready?”

“Always.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Da-da-da-da” … click! click!

“Da-da-da-da” … click! click!

“Da-da-da-da, Da-da-da-da, Da-da-da-da” … click! click

 Claire repeated the chorus … as Jamie was thoroughly enjoying himself while getting into the swing of things with gusto.

 “Da-da-da-da” … click! click!

“Da-da-da-da” … click! click!

“Da-da-da-da, Da-da-da-da, Da-da-da-da” … click! click

“They're creepy and they're kooky. Mysterious and spooky. They're altogether together ookey. The Fraser Family.

The house is a museum. When people come to see 'em. They really are a scre-am. The Fraser Family.

“Da-da-da-da” … click! click!

Neat

“Da-da-da-da” … click! click!

Sweet

“Da-da-da-da, Da-da-da-da, Da-da-da-da” … click! click

Petite

So, get a witch's shawl on. A broomstick you can crawl on. We're going to pay a call on. The Fraser Family.

 They both fell back against their chairs laughing out loud as Claire finished the theme song and Jamie clicked the refrain part with enthusiasm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I see what ye meant earlier Sassenach, so, tell me more about the husband Gomez and his wife Morticia.”

“Gomez was the patriarch of the family, just like you Jamie.  He was a very dashing man who loved to wear pinstriped suits.”

She saw his puzzled look and explained.  “Clothing was very different in the 60’s to what it is now, but he was as dashing as you were in Paris.  Suits are a two-piece garment, long breeks and a jacket cut to the hip, made from the same material and worn together.  Gomez Addams smoked cigars and had a very quirky moustache. I’ll ask Brianna to draw you some pictures of the family if you like.”

Jamie nodded in reply to her statement for he loved the drawings Brianna did, and although he could picture them in his imagination, seeing a picture of the family would make them really come to life.

Claire knew that her husband would relish this next piece of information.  “He adored Morticia and would call her Cara Mia, Querida, Querida Mia, Tish, or Cara Bella.”

“Hmmph? … Querida is Spanish for "the woman I desire.”  I can relate tae that Sassenach,” Jamie replied with a sharp look that made her heart skip a little beat.   “I see now why ye think we are alike,” he proclaimed with a penetrating gleam in his eye. “And his wife?”

“She was very beautiful with long flowing, straight, raven coloured hair. Morticia was described as a witch; she was slim, with extremely pale skin.”

“A witch ye say? … a Dhia Claire! … It’s just like people called you because of yer healing powers.  I am seeing more parallels here … Querida,” he added in that sexy voice that always thrilled her.

Claire nearly lost her train of thought when her husband called her Querida and she bit her lip in response to the endearment once more. “Stop interrupting me James Fraser, I’m trying to tell you my Halloween story.”

“Duilich … Sorry Sassenach, but I am just imagining the things ye are saying just like you saw on the … television. Tell me more about this Morticia Addams.”

“Her black dress matched her hair and it was skin tight and figure hugging with a fringe of octopus-like cloth "tentacles" at the lower hem that pooled around her feet.”

“That’s quite an outfit you have on there lady?” one of the robbers said to her Jamie.

“I always wear this for Halloween.”

“Looks great.  Real good for Halloween,” he replied thinking that she was wearing a costume but it was her actual clothing.

“Is that so?  Anything else …Tish?” Jamie grinned cheekily doing a mental checklist of the romantic names Gomez had called his wife.

“Morticia could easily excite her husband by speaking French and other languages. Her pet names for him were Bubula, Mon Cherie and Querido.”

“Ah,  Querido, the Spanish word for "the man I desire."  I like that too Claire.  Ye can call me that at any time my … Cara Mia.”

She blushed a little more at another one of Morticia’s pet names her husband had called her and felt a hot flush warm her cheeks.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, Sassenach tell me about the Halloween story ye and Brianna loved watching on yer television about the Addams Family.”

“Well Gomez received a new carving knife in the mail and used it to carve out a pumpkin with the face of his Uncle Fester on it for Halloween. They would put a candle in it to light it up at night and the face would shine through the holes in the Jack-o-lantern. This is very common in the future and people in Boston would put their carved pumpkins on their doorsteps at Halloween.  It was a fun thing to do and they would also decorate their houses with ghoulish things.”

“‘Tis similar to Samhain too Claire but people use turnips. I guess a pumpkin would be easier tae carve though,” he proclaimed. “Tell me more.”

“Their children, Wednesday and Pugsley, dressed up and went trick or treating with their Grandmama for sweets and treats that they would collect from their neighbours.  While they were out two robbers who were escaping from the police … took refuge in the Addams family garden.  Thinking they were their Halloween guests, they were invited inside for a Halloween party but unfortunately, they tried to steal money from the family instead of enjoying their hospitality. When they saw inside their spooky house they exclaimed,  

“You folks sure don’t hold back on Halloween.”

“It’s our favourite holiday.”

Then Gomez said, “Gentlemen come here and I’ll give you a treat.  Open your bag. They didn’t want to show him what was in there because it had the stolen money in it.”

“What happened next Claire?”  Jamie asked thinking this story of the future was a little bizarre but extremely interested in her Halloween story of a show she had watched on television.

“Now, now, there’s nothing to be scared of, I think it’s kind of heart-warming that adults get into the Halloween spirit, and when Gomez opened their bag, he found it was full of money, and he assumed that their neighbours had given them cash for a Trick or Treat. He took out several hundreds of dollars from an open drawer and gave it to them. The robbers’ eyes widened with surprise and decided to hatch a plan to steal all the money and their valuables from them.”

“Did the Addams’ ken they were planning tae steal their valuables?”

“No, they were in the kitchen getting refreshments, and whilst Morticia was stirring the punch, her husband Gomez became quite amorous towards her.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This story now was just getting more fascinating for James Fraser by the minute.  He smiled at his Claire and asked a little provocatively, “Tell me more Sassenach. What did he do … in the kitchen?”

She was a little tongue tired especially with the way the man she desired was looking at her, but she ventured on regardless to how her insides were all fluttering with tingling feelings that she felt to the very core of her being. When Jamie was in this amorous mood, she was putty in his hands. How was she ever going to tell him what happened next, she thought, but she did.

“When Morticia called him “Bubula … darling” … he took her hand in both of his and kissed it before caressing each finger with his lips beginning at the little pinkie, then the ring finger, and then each other finger after that, until her whole hand had been caressed. It was something he always did.”

Jamie’s eyes were smouldering.  “How did she react tae that ... Querida?” he murmured with a little raspy grunt.

She took a deep breath before continuing. “Morticia swooned at the attention her husband was giving her and replied … When we are together darling, every night is Halloween.”  

Claire was starting to swoon a little herself. She was feeling a little hot and bothered, and bit her lip as Jamie’s gaze washed over her with intent, but she continued with her story.  Her husband knew exactly what he was doing with the way he was looking at her, and he couldn’t be more interested in what would Gomez Addams do next. Jamie hung on each word that came out of her mouth.

“Go on … Sass-en-ach.”

Her mouth was getting a little dry, so Claire took a wee sip of her whisky to also compose herself before she went on with her tale.

“Then while his arm was around her waist, and holding out her arm, Gomez slowly ran his lips up the length of it, kissing across the back of her neck … her shoulder, then down her back and …”

“Aye?  And … then what?”

“The punch exploded!”

Jamie couldn’t help himself.  He was not expecting Claire to say that, and doubling over in mirth, he burst out laughing as too did she.  The happy, raucous sound echoed in his throat and their combined laughter loudly resonated in the room.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

However, James Fraser suddenly stopped laughing.  

Looking up, Claire saw the explicit intent in her husband’s eyes that always made her catch her breath. She watched; eyes fixated on her virile man as he rose from his chair and made his way over to where she was sitting. Jamie was now standing in front of her chair.  He reached out his hand towards her, then placing her hand in his grasp, he slowly pulled Claire up and out of the chair until she was but a hair’s breath away from him.  She could feel the solidness of her husband’s chest.

“So, mo nighean donn, what happened tae the robbers?”

“I … ahh, … I … don’t re-member,” she mumbled, tripping over her words as Jamie’s penetrating gaze held her eyes captive with a look that had her feeling quite breathless.

Claire could feel the warmth of his breath as her love quietly spoke seductively against her lips. “I see … Well then ... What were ye sayin’ about what Gomez Addams was doing tae his wife … Sass-en-ach?”

Lost in the suggestive look that Jamie was bestowing on her, Claire Fraser found it difficult to breathe let alone speak as she felt the gentle but scorching touch of lips brushing against her own.

“Ahhh … Ahhh …” she murmured incoherently. “He kissed … her hand.”

“What? … Like this?”

Placing his arm around Claire’s waist, Jamie held out her right arm and proceed to place warm, fervent kisses to the top of her hand before trailing them down to her little pinkie finger.

“Ye-yes…” she purred closing her eyes in the bliss of his seduction.

Soft, warm lips lathed the small digit before continuing on to her ring finger.  His lips started at the tip of her fingernail drawing it into his mouth before releasing her finger. His tongue then skimmed up and over her knuckle to where his wedding ring, a silver band with a small thistle bloom carved in the centre of each intertwined Highland pattern, lay nestled against her skin. Jamie’s lips hovered over the ring, stopping as his eyes observed his token of love on his Sassenach's finger. Jamie hesitated for a moment, then bent his head over it, his lips barely brushing over her knuckles once more before they touched the silver ring and stopped there for one moment of remembrance.

At the same time, suddenly Claire’s thoughts returned to that day in the hospital recalling when Frank had tried to twist it off her finger and the panic that she’d felt.  The guttural sound she’d made was heart wrenching and she’d jerked her hand away and cradled it, fisted, beneath her breast cupped in her left hand.

“I never took it off …  mon Cherie,” she whispered, the love in her voice caressing Jamie’s ears as much as his lips had caressed her hand.

This ring was special to her and she had never taken it off even over the twenty years they had been parted.  During those long, aching years of separation, it was one of her very, very few tangible reminders of Jamie. The Latin phrase that he’d engraved inside her wedding ring was a brief quotation from a love song by Catullus, and she had recited it so many, many times just thinking of her love when she closed her eyes at night.

Jamie’s lips found and touched the silver ring once more before his tongue slid from one side of the ring to the other. His ring which she wore on this finger since the day they had wed was special to him. It was his ultimate love token to the woman who had stolen his heart from the very moment he had laid eyes on her at Samhain time.  This ring spoke to him and was a reaffirmation of how solid was their love and how strong their bond was.

Her eyes were closed, and Claire knew without looking, that Jamie’s were, as well.

“Da Mi Basia Mille, diende centum, dein mille altera, dein secunda centum …” he murmured, smiling before opening his eyes to stare piercingly at his love as he translated the Latin.  “Then let amorous kisses dwell on our lips, begin and tell, a thousand and a hundred score, a hundred …”

Claire’s eyes blurred with tears. Placing her hand at the nape of Jamie’s neck, she fisted it in his glorious red hair, slowly twisting the curls between her fingers. "Dein mille altera … then give me a thousand more,” she uttered breathlessly clearing her throat.  

He brushed away the tear that had trickled down her cheek with his finger, but two more welled up and overflowed; she felt them, full and round, roll down her cheeks.

This poignant romantic moment of remembrance between them was suddenly so overwhelming, that she felt her eyes well up once again. The reality of the power of their love and connection made the fictional one between Gomez Addams and his wife Morticia pale in comparison.  Perhaps the show she had watched when back in the future was a reminder to her of who she missed terribly and how much she missed so achingly the sensuous kisses that her beloved husband had given her.  Suddenly, she was overcome with emotion as Jamie continued to display his amorous kisses to her hand.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

However, he soon sensed that his Claire was feeling wistful.

“Cl-aire?” Jamie’s voice was gentle and his utterance of her name, spoken in tenderness, nearly made her break down again.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Are ye okay mo ghràidh?  What’s the matter?  Am I not doin’ this right, like Gomez Addams?”

“Oh, Jamie, … You are doing this … so much better … than he ever could my love.”

Slowly he drew her close to him, taking both hands and holding their linked fingers just under his breast to where Claire could feel his heart beating in his chest. Jamie held his love close for a quiet moment and kissed the top of her head as it lay nestled against him.  Placing his finger under her chin, he lifted Claire’s face up to his, then cupping her beautiful cheeks with exquisite gentleness, he set his mouth on hers.

“I like yer Halloween story verra much mo ghràidh, in fact I like it sae much that I think we could … continue it in our bedroom.  What say ye … Querida Mia?” … He kissed his wife’s cheek … “Cara Bella,” … and then her other special name … “Sor-cha,” … Jamie muttered against Claire’s lips before trailing them down her throat in an assault that had her losing consciousness in his arms.

“Per-haps … we … could …” was her garbled reply spoken against his hot mouth as she wound her arms around her husband’s neck. Her eyes glazed over with emotion for this wonderful man as she succumbed to the sweet surrender of his embrace.  Jamie’s eyes too were shining with passion as he lifted Claire up into his arms and carried his love into their bedroom.

“This has been a verra good night Sassenach and one I think could be repeated each Samhain.”

“I approve … Querido,” she murmured seductively against his ear and cupping his cheek with her hand.

Touching foreheads, Jamie’s lips hovered over hers and he smiled with such a wicked look that Claire couldn’t help but smile too knowing that whatever came out of her husband’s mouth would be something profound.  However, she was not expecting his reply with the phrase Morticia Addams had spoken on the television program.

“When we are together darling … every night is Halloween. Now, I want to take ye to bed, and I mean to spend the rest of the night thinking what to do to ye once I’ve got ye there.”  

Then James Fraser proceeded to demonstrate the many ways that this Fraser husband showed his wife how he would seduce her every night … but twice on Samhain and Halloween.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The End

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 The Addams Family Theme - Vic Mizzy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ5IWRz78DY

 Halloween with the Addams family (full episode)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LavY2K3-Vhs

 Endearment Translations:

Claire Fraser

mo chridhe - my heart

mo muirninn - my darling

mo luaidh - my darling, my dear.

a leannan - sweetheart, or beautiful woman

Sorcha – brightness

mo ghràidh – darling

mo nighean donn - my brown-haired lass

 Morticia Addams

Cara Mia - my beloved

Cara Bella – pretty face

Querida - the woman I desire.

Querida Mia – beloved

Tish – strong willed

 Gomez Addams

Bubula – sweetheart

Mon Cherie - dear heart, my dear love.

Querido - dear

#samhain #halloween #James Fraser #clairefraser #the addams family #2020 #the lallybroch library #outlander fanfic

[feudalconnection]

Nomination - Elohiniar

CONGRATULATIONS @elohiniar!  Your Fanfiction "The Big Spoof” has been nominated by one of your fans for the 2021 1st Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards, run by FeudalConnection!

Your work has been nominated in the following category:

Best Humor/Parody

Voting will take place between January 29th and February 12th, and the links to do so can be found on the feudalconnection Tumblr page.

If you would like to pull your work from consideration for an award, please let us know via the Tumblr page or [email protected].

Once again, congratulations for your beautiful contributions to this wonderful fandom, and thank you for all that you do!

NOMINATIONS ARE OPEN UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY JANUARY 15TH, SUBMIT YOUR FIC/ARTWORK NOMINATIONS THROUGH OUR PAGE!

#feudalconnection #fc nominations #fcq12021 #elohiniar

[hippriestess]

Part 2: Cherry-picking

Cherry Red had been releasing The Fall's new music since 2011's “Ersatz GB” and we already knew that Smith had signed a further deal with them to look after what portion of the group's catalogue he owned. They had already made a start with the handsome seven disc “Singles 1978 - 2016” box set they had released late in 2017 (alongside a cut-down three disc “A Sides” collection). The set had originally been scheduled for release in 2016 but the production deadline for the all-important Christmas market was missed and the set was held back until after “New Facts Emerge” - from which no singles were taken - had been released. Following Smith's passing, the seven-disc edition sold out and was unavailable for a short time before Cherry Red did the decent thing and made a few more.

A reissue of  1997's “Levitate” had been in the works for a while; Smith had signed off the tracklisting and there had been a trailer of sorts with a Record Store Day-only 7” of “Masquerade” in 2017. Given that the album had been in contractual limbo for quite some time with original vinyl copies fetching 3 figures on the open market, Cherry Red's first posthumous release felt like a public service,  doing the right thing both by Smith and by the fans. Released towards the end of May 2018, the new 2CD/3LP edition was justly well received and some kindly reviews appeared with mostly positive re-evaluations of one of their most awkward albums. Hindsight benefits the record; if it sounds like they were falling to bits, it's because they were and now that we know not just what happened next but how the whole story of The Fall continued for another 20 years, it has context. For the record (Portugal), yr present author is no more fond of the album than she was 7 or 8 years ago but “Ol' Gang” has clicked into focus and the second disc puts those great b-sides from the “Masquerade” CD singles back onto the shelves so it would have to be considered necessary.

Less impressive was “58 Golden Greats”, released at the end of 2018. A 3CD set in a clamshell box, this was, in essence, an extended version of the classic “50,000 Fall Fans Can't Be Wrong” collection from 2004, extending the tracklist to cover the remainder(er) of the group's career. It actually expands on the original in other ways, adding several songs from the era covered in the original version; the puzzling omission of “Big New Prinz” is corrected for one thing and other singles are added such as  “Oh! Brother” and “Dead Beat Descendent”. Perhaps Beggars Banquet were more co-operative this time. Whilst one could always quibble with any attempt at a Fall “best of”, yr present author was not taken with this one and my purse remained closed. 58 was an unwieldy number (why not a round 60?), the cover artwork – a spoof of a different Elvis Presley sleeve – was far from appealing and the entry-point value of “50,000...” was lost, a 3 disc set at £17 being too big a serving at too high a price for the merely curious. However, it looks as if I'm just flat-out in the wrong. As we'll continually see, Cherry Red aren't just experienced, they are also smart and do not lack savvy. I'm sat here keyboard-griping while “58 Golden Greats” is sold out. Enough said.

In 2019, Cherry Red announced the beginning of the Fall Sound Archive, the title of which gave the air of a mission to preserve The Fall's work for future generations. Inevitably, they were starting with 40th Anniversary editions of “Live At The Witch Trials” and “Dragnet”. There was early disappointment. The 3CD edition of “Live At The Witch Trials” contained the exact same music as the 2CD edition from 2004 but spread over three discs. Any thoughts that the decision at least preserved the sanctity of the original 11 song album were hampered by the 3CD edition of “Dragnet” containing, as disc 1, the exact same running order – with single and outtakes – as the 2004 CD edition. The other two discs were 2 of the little-loved “Live From The Vaults” series (of which, more later, sort of..). The archive was perhaps, not so deep.

However, the plus points were the vinyl editions, which had been hatched with obvious care. Using the rare US edition of “LATWT” with an alternate sleeve and revised running order was a clever touch and one that acknowledged that the Fall's audience would need something more than just a nice colour of vinyl before they indulged the album yet again. Similarly, “Dragnet” came with a reproduction 7” of “Rowche Rumble”, a record which originally came with the thinnest paper sleeve in the history of music. That's not to say that we didn't get coloured vinyl, oh we did - “LATWT” came of red vinyl to match the US sleeve and “Dragnet” on black and white “splatter” vinyl. These both sold well, sold quickly and sold out, now being tricky to score except on the Discogs etc market. But perhaps more to the point, they suggested that Cherry Red's experience and nouse would, at minimum, keep things interesting.

Later in 2019, the Kamera catalogue came under Cherry Red's microscope and it was another mixed set of releases. For CD buyers, a 6 disc set called “(1982)” was developed. This contained “Hex Enduction Hour”, “Room To Live” “Fall In A Hole” various single and live tracks and the “Live To Air In Melbourne” album which had previously snuck out in the late 90's when MES was broke. There was no new music to be had here at all – everything had previously been released. As such £40 was too rich a price tag for many and the edition is still easily available. The new vinyl edition of “Hex” was well particularly well presented. For the first time, the 60 minute LP was cut onto 4 sides of vinyl – a long overdue move, this did the album real justice on the format and would have to be considered an essential for those who insist on twelve-inch slabs of wax for their music. A pleasing, sturdy fold-out sleeve showed that corners were not being cut, the vinyl again matched the colour scheme of the artwork and it also came with an excellent reproduction of the sterling “Look, Know/I'm Into C.B.” 45. What spoiled it a little bit was the inclusion of a third LP with Peel Session #5 on one side and some of the live tracks from the 2005 Sanctuary 2CD on the other. All this really did was drive up the price – a double LP with the 7” would have been perfect and would have been less heavy on the purse *NB – this didn't stop me buying it – that's my copy in the picture...). “Room To Live” was given a vinyl reissue too, this time as a double LP with sides 3 and 4 being the live tracks from the 2005 Sanctuary edition. Again, this didn't quite feel like the right choice – an alternative idea would have been a single LP with a 7”. Given that the classic “Lie Dream Of A Casino Soul/Fantastic Life” single had been added to the popular, widely owned German pressing, why not add a repro of that instead? It would have cost less and added more value to the package.

Despite these whinges “(1982)” would have to be considered an elegant, practical solution to a latter-day problem and demonstrates why Cherry Red remain a market leader in catalogue reissues. Can you really sell compact discs of these albums yet again? How else do you present the music in this format? The answer to parcel the whole lot together and present it as a “year-in-the-life” was a smart one that was only hampered by an optimistic £40 price tag (which translated to as much as £58 in stores) and the artwork being based on “Hex” which could have given a more casual customer the notion that the set was Hex and 5 discs of “other” material. The bottom line here is that there is nothing else in the cupboard; as with the IAKO ballet and the Hey! Luciani play, fantasies about things like the unedited “Winter” and the full 20+ minute “And This Day” ever appearing are exactly that – fantasies. Were they ever preserved, they're gone and anything that did turn up, almost 40 years hence would likely be in such a state of degeneration as to be unlistenable. From now on, all that can be done is to keep this material out there and try to present it with a fresh angle. That's precisely what Cherry Red have done here.

Come 2020, come the challenge of reselling what is not just one of the most widely-distributed but also one of the worst Fall albums: “Reformation Post TLC”. Cherry Red stuck to type with a double LP pressed into blue and red coloured vinyl, again matching the colour to the sleeve. Undoubtedly a handsome package, this version was snapped up with some enthusiasm although it does seem that sales were likely harmed by coinciding with the early, uncertain, often panic-stricken days of the Covid-19 pandemic reaching the UK. The 4CD edition was daunting: the whole album and 2 CDs worth of outtakes and rough mixes, followed by the “Last Night At The Palais” CD. The “Last Night At The Palais” DVD was not included. Time has passed, time has healed and it is clear that RPTLC is a terrific EP stretched out beyond the energy of the participants. There is even a strong 40 minute single LP to be had within its contents but, hey it was what it was. With almost all of the unreleased mixes having no vocals, interest wears off before we got to the excellent live disc but, on the other paw, Cherry Red have done exactly what we want; it is highly unlikely that there is anything left from the album sessions; this is the whole lot, every scrap. Up to us now what we do with them.

****************************

Now, if you're thinking I've skipped something, you're right but the story of The Fall's posthumous discography is difficult to tell in a linear fashion. So I invite you, friends, to join me in a diversion. Cast your minds back to Record Store Day 2019.  

Cherry Red played a good hand by releasing a new vinyl edition of the superb “Imperial Wax Solvent” album. As with “Levitate”, vinyl copies were going for silly money, Universal having allegedly pressed a mere 500 for the world. It was a shame that Cherry Red therefore added only another 500 copies, this time pressed into yellow vinyl. These were almost entirely snapped up on the day and copies of this edition are routinely offered at £50-60.  “IWS” had, of course, been out of print since 2008, having been deleted less than 6 months after its release. As such the RSD edition of  “IWS” could be said to have undersold the record somewhat. Unless, of course, a properly “available” edition, maybe with that unreleased original mix of the album was to follow at some point...more on that later.

Sadly, we must also wade through the other Fall releases that were curled out for RSD 2019. That will take us into Part 3...

#the fall #mark e smith #hex enduction hour #dragnet #live at the witch trials #reformation post tlc #1982 #room to live #craig scanlon #steve hanley #paul hanley #marc riley #karl burns #imperial wax solvent