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specklesofdust · 2 years

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September 9th, 2022

I am currently typing this entry at work this morning. it is 10:44am

I moved again over this last week.

That will make this the 4th time I have moved within this year thus far... I moved out of my fully furnished 2 bedroom duplex i rented out for the last 2 months and into OG Ashley’s pad off McFerrin Avenue which was the ultimate goal to begin with so I am super stoked to be living with just her with that bedroom covered in windows that faces the incredible badass backyard. I am super stoked about that. It is time for me to transition into a goddess galaxy pad of power and out of the cycle of intermittent relationship loops of living loving learning and leaving that i have been repeating for far too long.

William helped me move and was super kind and then became super clingy and started making me feel anxious and was sobbing uncontrollably yesterday when i told him that i am not in the place in my life right now to commit to anything but trying to be my best self on my own as a single entity. I drove Reggie B back to erica’s the other night after only seeing him for maybe an hour after he got back from visiting in Kansas City. Erica literally blew my phone up looking for him within that one hour we were hanging out and it became blatantly apparent that being involved with him romantically is a slippery and suspect slope that i do not want to further divulge into especially with this romantic triangle occurring and his lability and his moodiness and his fucking temper hell no fuck all of that i will send him friendly feelings from afar.

I went to meet up with Brad S the comedian that same night i met up with Reggie B 2 nights ago to give Brad a bday present and he told me that if i wasn’t planning on going home with him then I shouldn’t have bothered coming out to the bar to meet him at all and that really stung and it was totally necessary because it helped me realize what his truest intentions were with me, temporary satisfaction. whatever man that is shitty. I also met with Tony Martinez for the very last time recently within the last 5 days and it was more than evident that he does not give a shit about much of anything except his ego, his future fame, and his family and the family part i am all about but i accdientally left my hat there and when i asked him to give it to Brooke to give to me whenever she and i hang out next and he responded with: “YEah Fuck your fucking hat I will feed it to the fucking dawgs stay the fuck away from me forever I never want to fucking see you again” so that was also very eye opening and helped me add yet another bullshit boy to the list of losers that I do not want to involve in my life ever again except through praying for peace for them from afar. I also realized that I have not allowed myself any time to really know who I am by myself for myself with myself and i want to be able to give myself space for grace in my own new place and make this new move a transition of epic evident change that will catapult me into the future of powerful progression. I need to move out of this city after this winter so i don’t keep running into my old flings and wrinkled out romances and lessen the likelihood of me choosing to hang with people who party instead of of partake in positivity for the holistic healing realms. It is eviean’s bday next week and this will be the first year that I have not given him a gift nor been with him romantically in the last 4 years and i am super happy about it and proud of myself for finally opening up my heart and closing my doors to that part of my life.

It is time to trek through the trepidation and traverse to triumph.

-yes maam yes maam

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theginkosakata · 5 years

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMMY!!!

“It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do.”- Sam Winchester

02 • de mayo • 2019

Felices 36 años Sam Winchester!!!

I LOVE YOU BABY ♥

Gracias por detener el apocalípsis xd

Espero que Dean te haga la fiesta y te de su regalo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#happy birthday sammy!!!#♥♥♥♥♥#sammy bb ♥#te amo sam winchester ♥#happy bday moose!#Sam Winchester #Supernatural #felices 36 baby boy #little brother 💕#my precious boy 💕#Sammy #happybday sammy 2k19 #Sammy Winchester #may 2 1983 #lawrence kansas #~🌸

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herstarburststories · 4 years

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Beautiful Ghosts [p1]

A/N: HAPPY BDAY TO ME, YAY! The first chapter of this hopefully mini series is for @alleiradayne 's 1k celebration! Congrats, hon. A mix of angst and two kinds of comfort here. I gotta admit that I started working on this months ago and kept going until I was satisfied with how it was going. Hope you guys like this one! Divider by @talesmaniac89 !

Summary: Something as tribal as death wouldn't keep you away from Dean.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Prompt: I’m not going to leave you. You’re never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.

Characters: Dean and Sam Winchester, you

Rating: PG 13

Word count: 2404

As always, you are in Dean's arms when the two brothers enter the bunker after a hunt. There isn’t any sound to break the silence, no raucous laughter, or even a snarky comment about today’s slain monsters. Their steps are stronger than usual, and one breath is missing.

Of course, it’s different from your usual entrance. Your arms aren't tangled with Dean's and his aren’t wrapped around your waist or shoulders. You are in his arms, yes, but you are lying still in a state of lifeless despondency. To think, he was once hopeful, stupid enough to believe that he'd only be carrying you like this when he was marrying you.

Sam is awfully quiet. He can think and organize a hundred words into speeches in his mind, but nothing comes out. The younger brother feels like a kid during a class presentation too worried to say the wrong word and receive the wrong reaction. Therefore, he chooses silence, just like the other Winchester. They both make room for the grief that way.

It's a silent agreement that you are gone for good. The spell used to bring Eileen back is no longer available, and there is no devil willing to make a pact — not that one would allow the others to do so, after all.

Dean still considers it. More than once, more than a million times between the drive back home when you laid in the backseat with your guts on the car's floor and putting your body on the couch with more tenderness he’d thought himself capable of.

He would come back to hell just to save you, even if it meant not staying to see you thrive. The agony would be more bearable if he knew that for each scream of his, there would be a grin of yours.

He has no hope now. All Dean Winchester has is anger and unprocessed grief slowly metamorphosing into sadness, hate, and bloodthirst. Even when he killed the fucking werewolf right after he laid his teeth on you, it wasn’t enough. He needed to make someone hurt as much as he did.

It was supposed to be an easy hunt, but isn’t that life with this job? It's usually supposed to be a quick thing, and then you are choking your own blood like it's tequila.

“She is in a better place now.” Sam is the first to speak, utterly doubting that his brother would make a noise if he didn't first.

Sammy was always full of faith, but this time it made Dean furious. “You don't know that.”

“Dean.”

“Don't, Sammy. Don't even fucking try. You know who we are and what Billie thinks about us. Do you think (Y/N) won't get the same destiny as we will? Alone in the empty, going crazy for years, decades!?”

“We can find a way—“

“No, we can't! We all signed her death sentence the minute we asked her to move in. And she—“ Dean cuts himself off with the sharp knife of silence, staving any hope left with harsh thoughts. The living room is maybe the most similar it’s ever been to the old glory days now: men of letters used to get frustrated there all the time, usually with a bottle of whiskey and a dead body on the floor, full of holes from experiments.

The eldest Winchester wants to scream, throw a chair, break a lamp. He’d do anything to get this heavy sensation out of his veins, as if every single drop of blood weighs 500 pounds.

Still, he doesn't fall on his knees.

An inconsistently wry smirk consumes Dean’s face, warped with grief. “I had to put her guts back in her body, you know? To carry her in the car.”

He lifts his hands. They are stained red. Sam purses his lips together, trying to find something to say that would have helped him when Jess died. Nothing but an annoying little voice saying time comes to mind. It's gonna be hard, but they will make it. They always do.

Sammy doesn't tell that to Dean, though. He isn't ready yet. And neither is Sam to vocalize the words.

We are gonna be okay because we always do. And the dead bodies end up like frightening memories and nothing else.

That would sound too cold, like most truths for hunters. If Sam says those words, it becomes real. Not even the bloodstained picture of murder is stronger than words of farewell. Besides, you were his best friend. He had to recompose and convince himself that everything would be okay before he helped Dean. For once, he had to be the brother who shut all the turmoil in to take care of the other

“I'm sorry, Dean.”

And then, Sam does the only thing that he could think of as useful for making the ache bearable. He hugs his big brother.

Dean struggles to get away from the hold, even with every fiber of his being screaming to remain there. “Let me go! Sam, I'm serious. Fucking let me go!”

“It's gonna be okay, Dean.”

“Let me go, Sammy! Now!”

“You are not alone, Dean. I'm here. She will be okay, too.”

“Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!”

Until he finally gives in, collapsing in Sam's arms like that little kid in Kansas who didn't want to cry in front of his dad after seeing his mom get killed.

There is blood on Sammy’s favorite shirt now, but he doesn’t care. He just tightens his embrace around Dean while his brother is lost into racking sobs.

His grief is just as expansive as Dean’s, their ragged souls laced with a sickening kind of sweetness that can only show up when someone you love needs help. It squirms and crawls in their guts to make a home that sticks. It’s their tiny comforts— the good feelings always show up in defiance of the ache like a plant growing on concrete. They just have to get the energy to look for them.

Everything is still the way you left it in Dean's bedroom. He didn't put your clothes away. You left your book on the shelf and kept your perfume in the wardrobe. Your pillow is still scrambled as if you had left for a couple of minutes to grab a cup of water and would soon come back to snuggle up to him. Well, it could always be from the fact that he's holding onto that piece of cotton for dear life. If he had long nails, his floor would be a complete mess now.

He's glaring at the wall, mind trying to come up with ways to cope with the growing ache in his whole body. Yes, the books and poets and films speak fondly about heartbreak, but he already threw the last glimpses of his bruised heart on the fire, burning with your body to the point no one could say it was ever in his chest to begin with. What could he do? There's always a way for the Winchesters. If Dean thinks hard enough, maybe he can defeat death. Maybe he can have you back.

Dean puts the pillow away after another sniff. The smell of your pepper shampoo is almost fading — he shouldn't have hugged it. Nonetheless, the green-eyed hunter focuses on coming up with ideas, and it's a stupid, humanly behavior when his mind goes to what desperate people usually seek.

Dean was never a pious man. The fact his mother died while angels were too busy watching over him to help her didn’t do it any good. Yet in stolen moments like these, he, like most humans, would bear his soul in a peace offering to all the holy things he doubted. The Winchester never prayed for himself, though. Who would answer his cry for help? He never deserved to be saved. So, he put his hands together and closed his eyes for who he cared about. As the Layla woman who told him to have faith or Sammy as something scandalous happened. It was rare, but Dean did that sometimes. He used to hope someone was listening. He doesn't pray anymore, not even now. Because he knows someone is listening, and he doesn't care.

Can an empty room seem crowded? Yes, when touch-starving grief is piled inside, begging to be seen. Why can't he allow himself to feel it? Why can't he cry? Why can't he just stop using anger as a comfort? Dean doesn't know. It used to be easier to cry before. He'd say he's lost his emotions, but the all-consuming anger and his ferocious barks to keep the hurt is burning proof he isn't yet.

Y/N died, and it's his fault. Y/N died, and it's his fault. Y/N died, and it's his fault.

His nostrils are opening, the wrath that swaths him as comfortable as his own skin. It’s not natural enough that he doesn't feel the burn, and you know he's going to break again. Your Dean doesn't break easily, but when he does, it's in a million little pieces that he wouldn't allow people to help pick them up. He’d rather shove them under the bed with his childhood monsters or bruising his hands as he exasperatedly tries to get them all by himself. You know he's going to shift into a storm and start breaking things. You know it's a temporary morphine, and the sickness will remain in the morning.

That's the incentive you need to try harder, to flash yourself into this plane of existence long enough to be seen. You force every fragment of yourself and light and whatever other pieces you are made of now to appear. To be heard. To show Dean he isn't all by himself again.

An image starts glitching in front of him. It’s rapid enough for Dean's reaction to come as a frown and his hand to snake around to the gun at the hem of his pants.

And then, he blinks and a heart-stopping joy hits him. He can't believe the unbreakable heaven that he's being blessed with. Every feeling that should be burrowed under his skin is fighting to come to the light, and God, he wants to. For the first time, he doesn't want to hold back because what was trying to come together finally is you.

You. You are standing right before his own green eyes. There is a soft look on your face. It’s laced with that pretty smile that’s always spread happiness to him as well. You are here, standing in his room, clean clothes and blood in your veins. Guts inside your body! He never imagined he'd be happy to think that.

Is this his heart? Oh God, it is. And it's beating. No, no. It's racing. His heart is working again and now he almost falls on his knees. The pain was never able to break him, but he had forgotten how strong happiness could be. He's relieved.

Dean's eyes burn when he looks at you. Maybe it’s because he’s too shocked to even blink or perhaps it is all the tears that were flowing. Who cares? That man would allow his entire body to collapse in flames if the smoke signaled you back home.

He takes a few steps, having the nerve to touch you — probably the most daring thing he has ever done. He is ready for you to dissipate, for that to be a dream, anything. And you don’t. You remain there. You don’t leave him too. Your usually warm body is gelid, but Dean doesn't care. It's an honest warning, yet he's happy to ignore those for once. You're here.

“Dean, I—“ Your voice. It's your voice saying his name. He recognizes the importance of a name now. For a brief moment, he's confused. What the fuck is happening? You purse your lips and Dean chortles in dismay, unable to discern his inner state of being. “I don't know what to say.”

“I thought I had lost you. I was so fucking scared, Y/N. I thought you were gone for good.” He's found the words for you, exhibiting his vulnerability so quietly. Your entire soul feels it— it's not true what they say. You don't stop feeling when you are dead. You start to feel everything deeper because after leaving your meatsuit, all that is left is your soul. And what's a soul but the patchwork of emotions? “I thought you'd never come back again. That I'd have to go on without you. I'm so sorry. It was my fault. I should have saved you.”

“No, Dean. Don't start self-loathing and all that. It wasn't your fault. What happened to us could've happened to any hunter. And if it happened to me, there is a reason for it.”

“A reason for you to be ripped apart?” He scoffs at your belief of fate. You always had a graceful heart in you, even after you met Chuck.

“I'm back, right? I told you I'd always be with you, and I'm here. Always.” You intertwine your fingers, and he watches your hands for a little while. While it’s difficult for him to grasp anything but pain nowadays, he accepts the rush of joy in his chest. Dean looks up, and you're still here, big eyes offering him a loving gaze. “I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to suffer by yourself again. I promise.”

He kisses you, and it feels like your emotions have finally found a perfect body to rest in when yours is a little bit tired — a place to call home. He kisses you, and everything is worth it. Because he kisses you. And you kiss him back.

Dean Winchester is a marvelous hunter. He should know that the cold his tongue experiences in your mouth while you two make out ferociously isn't quite right. You should feel fervid, and you are warm in every way of being but skin. He should pay attention to that. He should stop trying to make you come alive with love. Still, he can't bring his rational side to care. That man was always guided by emotion, anyway. What could matter more than you on his arms? Worries could be postponed because you did what no one else ever could.

You came back to him.

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tobeblamed · 2 years

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"DEAN!!!!" His girlfriend comes running up to him AS SOON AS SHE GETS HOME, red envelope in hand and the door hasn't even fully shut yet! Once she lays eyes on him SARAH'S DONE!!!!! She THROWS HERSELF at Dean, which is how the two end up on the couch with Sarah on his lap shaking like she's just discovered two-BILLION DOLLARS!!!! "Here you go!" She hands the envelope to him with that goofy smile she knows he loves so much on her face. "Open it, please!! It'll be great!" Her eyes sparkle!

‘ — woah, hey! ’ before he had the chance to ask her about her day, sarah had already jumped onto him, prompting dean to grab her instinctively but losing his balance in the midst of it all — thankfully, he was able to fall onto the couch behind him as sarah stradled him . he was utterly amused at her excitement without even knowing what she was so entusiastic about — then again, he’d always loved seeing her happy . eyes dropped at the envelope she brought to his attention .

‘ what is it? ’ curiosity was quick to respond before he took the envelope in his hands . brows knitted together into a frown as he couldn’t begin to guess what it could have been attached inside .

「 A D U L T T I C K E T * —— KANSAS CONCERT —— * LIVE MUSIC SPECIAL EVENT SUNDAY 8PM |||||||||||||||||||||||||| 」

‘ — no fuckin’ way! ’ he exclaimed . hadn’t it been for the fact that she was on his lap, he would have jumped off his seat . ‘ are you serious?! ’ his voice rose onto a much higher pitch than the one he normally spoke in as his grin spread across his lips . emeralds shot up at her before his free hand cupped her cheek and pulled her into a kiss . ‘ god, i love you . ’

[ ID : @unbearablyindifferent — RECORD : dean’s bday 2022 ]

#timeline v: nothing ever really ends [ post series ]#voicemail: received.#unbearablyindifferent #dean's bday 2022.

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iamtrebleclefstories · 3 years

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it’s all because of you

So I FINALLY finished Coco’s bday fic. Sorry it’s so late, but I hope you enjoy this one-shot @cicinicole-14

Alex tells Jo about Eli & Alexis immediately after finding out about them

—————————

“Hey so, I wasn’t able to find the chips that you wanted but I did buy some of that ice cream we both really love,” Jo walked into the loft and paused when she saw the distraught look on Alex’s face. “Oh God. What happened? Is something wrong? Did something happen with Meredith’s trial? Alex?”

“Huh?” Alex looked up from where he’d been staring at the floor for the past thirty minutes after he made the phone call that rocked his entire world.

“Alex, what’s going on? Who died?”

“No one—no one died,” Alex shook his head.

“Then why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Jo placed the bags of groceries on the counter and moved to sit next to him on the couch. “Alex. Baby, what’s going on? You’re worrying me. Please tell me. I want to help you.”

“I... I don’t even know how to say this,” Alex buried his head in his hands. He let out a nervous breath. “I have kids. Two of them. Twins.”

“What?” Jo’s eyes bulged. “Oh my God. Who did you—when... Alex did you cheat on me? Or was this when we were broken up? I won’t yell, just please tell me.”

“No, no, Jo!” Alex’s eyes shot up to her terrified expression. “I didn’t cheat on you. I didn’t sleep with someone else. Not even when we were broken up a few years ago. Babe, I haven’t been with anyone other than you in the past eight years.”

“Oh,” Jo sighed in relief. “Okay. So, how...”

“You remember the embryos?” Alex stared up at Jo who looked like she might puke at any given moment. He hated that he was doing this to her. She had just gotten better after a tough depressive episode. Jo didn’t deserve the stress of this burden that was his to bear. But he also knew that she deserved the truth and he’d be damned if he wasn’t completely forthcoming with the one person who’d been there for him through it all. “I called Izzie. I told myself it was just for the trial. To get Mer a letter of support. And at first, that’s exactly what it was. But then we started talking and it felt nice, normal. I felt all the nostalgia while talking to her and I can’t lie to you Jo, but it made me kind of miss her.”

“Oh God,” Jo pressed a hand to her mouth and ran to the trash bin and threw up. She felt Alex come behind her, held her hair, and rubbed her back lightly as he waited for her stop vomiting. Jo took a deep breath and straightened her back. She leaned against the wall and slumped down onto the floor, eyes closed. “You’re going to leave me, right? You’re gonna leave me for Izzie and the babies she has with your face on them. It’s over isn’t it?” Jo lost her fight with her tears. “Well it was good while it lasted, wasn’t it? I should’ve known. You can’t hold on to anything you don’t want to lose.”

“Jo, baby, I’m not leaving you. I swear to God. This doesn’t change the fact that I love you more than life itself, or that I want to be your husband and grow old with you. This changes none of that,” Alex crouched down in front of her and squeezed her knee. “Let me finish what I was trying to say.” Jo nodded at Alex to continue. “Then she told me all about her job as surgical oncologist and all of the things she’d accomplished. I told her how proud I was and shared that I got into peds and that I’m Chief of Surgery at Pac North. I told her all about how I’m cleaning the place up. Then she asked me if I’d met anyone and that’s when I told her about you. About how we met and fell in love and got married, and she was happy for me, for us. Really happy. She was asking me to send her a few of our wedding pictures when I heard them.”

Alex clutched Jo’s hands tightly within his own, “I heard kids laughing in the background, so I asked her if she had kids. She said yes. She has five year old twins, Eli and Alexis Stevens. They’re mine. She used our embryos.”

“She used the embryos. They’re five years old,” Jo repeated, attempting to process the information she’d just been given while staying strong for Alex. “So, it turns out when I found that form all those years ago, you already had not one, but two Izzie babies crawling around with your face on them.”

“Yeah,” Alex had a pained look on his face. “I’m sorry Jo. I should’ve—I should’ve called her years ago. Before we—because then I would’ve—“

“Before we got married,” Jo looked at Alex intensely. “That’s what you were gonna say right? You wish you would’ve known before we got married, or better yet, before we got serious, so that you could be with them. So that you could be their dad and be with Izzie and have the family you always wanted.” Jo wiped a couple tears. “But you didn’t call. I told you to call her two years ago and you didn’t do it. And now you’re stuck with me.”

“Jo, you know that we were never not serious. From the minute I kissed you, I knew you were it for me. I’m not stuck with you. I chose you and I’ll always choose you,” Alex shook his head and stared at their joined hands. “I gave up my rights when we got divorced, so she had every right to use them. But I just keep thinking about how I have kids and I never knew. I just wish I would’ve known. I would’ve done things differently. I wish Izzie would’ve told me. But she didn’t, so now I’ve lost five years of my kids’ lives and I don’t know how to even feel about it. I don’t know if I’m allowed to feel upset about it. I’m basically just their sperm donor.”

“Of course you’re allowed to be upset, Alex,” Jo placed a hand on his cheek. As much as Jo was in pain and as scared as she was to lose him, Jo knew that she had to be there for her husband. “When you and Izzie made those embryos, it was always under the understanding that you’d do it together. You never thought she’d use them after the fact.” Jo took a deep breath. “So, are you going to do anything about this? Are you going to meet them?”

“I don’t know,” Alex shook his head. “Iz said I could go see meet them. They live on a farm in the middle of freaking no where Kansas. They don’t know about me, though. Izzie never told them and they never asked. It’s just her and the kids. Well, she’s got this detective boyfriend now, but he doesn’t try to pretend to be their father.” Alex ran a hand over his face. “It doesn’t matter right now, though. What matters is Meredith’s trial. I can’t—I can’t focus on that and focus on the trial. After the trial is over, maybe I’ll revisit this, but I can’t Jo. I can’t.”

——————

In retrospect, Jo thinks maybe she should’ve thought things through a little better before packing a bag and flying out to Kansas in the middle of the night. It was an impulse decision, and like most impulse decisions, probably not the most wise one. But as soon as she touched down in Kansas at 8am the next morning, Jo knows that she made the right choice.

Jo walked out of her terminal and hailed a cab to take her to the nearest coffee shop or diner. She got dropped off at a small local diner that looked like it had been frozen in the 1960s. Finally mustering up what little courage she had left, Jo took her phone out of her pocket and dialed the number she had been dreading to dial. It rang four times before someone answered.

“Hello?” It was a woman’s voice in the background. “Hello? Can I help you?”

Jo cleared her throat, “Hi. Is this Izzie Stevens?”

“Yes, this is she,” the woman on the other line responded. “Who’s this?”

“Hi. This is uh—Jo, Jo Karev.”

“Oh my goodness,” Izzie’s gasp of surprise was heard over the line. “Jo! Alex’s wife Jo?”

“Yeah. That’s me,” Jo let out a breath. “Look, I don’t want to cause any issues or problems. Alex doesn’t even know that I’m calling or anything, but I was hoping you and I could meet. I’m here in Kansas.”

“You’re—you’re here?” Izzie asked, some shuffling being heard in the background. “Yes, of course. Where are you? Where should I meet you?”

“I’m at a diner in Kansas City. I can send you my location, if you’d like,” Jo suggested.

“Yeah, that’s perfect. I can be there in an hour,” Izzie replied. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

—————

“Jo! What the hell? Where are you? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the past ten hours. I woke up and you were gone,” Alex shouted angrily over the FaceTime call. “You didn’t leave a note or anything. No one knew where you were.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Jo sighed. “I didn’t mean to scare you. There was just… something I had to do.”

“Where are you? Please tell me. Jo, I don’t want to lose you, ever and right now you’re scaring me,” Alex’s brows furrowed. “Just… tell me you’re okay. Tell me that you’re not gonna leave me or hurt yourself.”

“What? Alex, no,” Jo shook her head. “I would never leave you. And I wouldn’t hurt myself. I swear.” Jo bit her lip nervously. “I’m not in Seattle. I caught a flight in the middle of the night last night, to Kansas.”

“Kansas?” Alex’s eyes widened. “What—why—what are you doing in Kansas?”

“I’m in Baldwin City,” Jo answered simply, knowing that Alex would immediately know the exact reason.

Alex’s face grew serious, “Why are you there Jo?”

“I spoke with Izzie. I’m actually in a guest room at the farmhouse right now,” Jo confessed. “I just… I couldn’t stand around and watch you feel conflicted. The trial was a week ago and you still haven’t made a decision about what it is that you want to do. And I’m not trying to rush you, I swear. But, you’ve been there for me when I needed it. You spoke for me when I couldn’t speak for myself. You reacted when I couldn’t demonstrate things effectively for myself. So, I wanted to do this for you. I wanted to come out here and talk to Izzie and tell her all the feelings that you’re not quite sure how to express.”

“I never asked you to do that for me,” Alex had an unreadable expression on his face.

“You didn’t have to,” Jo looked at his face over the video call expectantly.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Alex asked after a couple moments in silence.

“You have really cute kids. Your son looks exactly like you and your daughter might as well be a miniature evil spawn from how Izzie described her,” Jo chuckled and averted her gaze from the screen. “I didn’t meet them. Just Izzie. I didn’t think it would be right for me to meet your kids before you do or before you even knew I was here.”

“Izzie wants me to meet them?” Alex questioned.

“Your kids want to meet you,” Jo stated quietly. “They know about you. They’ve seen pictures. Izzie asked me to send her a few pictures of us two when she and I met. She texted me about an hour ago. Eli and Alexis are very eager to meet Dad and JoJo.” Jo watched as Alex’s face contorted in a variety of emotions. “I bought you a ticket to Kansas City Airport. It leaves first thing tomorrow morning. I hope you’ll take it.”

—————

“JoJo!” Alexis shrieked as Jo opened the loft door, throwing her arms around her stepmother’s now protruding abdomen. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too,” Jo placed a light kiss on the young girl’s forehead. She laughed at Alexis’ widening eyes as her tiny hands were met with strong, powerful kicks. “And it looks like someone else also missed you.”

Alexis pressed her face up to Jo’s belly, “Hi baby. I missed you too.”

“JoJo!” Eli jumped forward and squeezed Jo as best as he could with her round belly in the way. “I couldn’t wait to see you!”

“And I couldn’t wait to see you,” Jo ruffled his hair as he and Alexis went off to play in the living room.

“Hi, Jo,” Izzie smiled warmly.

“Iz!” Jo wrapped Izzie in a hug. “How was your flight?”

“It was pretty smooth, which is surprising considering these two are definitely all Karev,” Izzie and answered and pointed to the twins. “I was convinced they’d pull off some prank or joke that got us kicked off the airline forever.”

“Well, I’m glad the kids didn’t cause you too much trouble,” Jo laughed. “Sometimes I get really worried about this kid’s temperament because Alex and I weren’t exactly the most well-behaved children. At least the twins have you.”

“I wasn’t exactly the best example either,” Izzie shook her head. “I got pregnant at sixteen. As long as I can make it through their teenage years without Alexis getting pregnant or Eli getting someone pregnant, I’ll consider that a victory.”

“Setting the bar really high, I see,” Alex spoke from behind the two women as he walked inside the door with grocery bags in his hand. He leaned down to kiss Jo. “Hey, babe.” And gave Izzie a quick hug. “Hey, Iz.”

“Daddy!!” Alexis and Eli shot up from the couch as soon as they noticed their father had walked through the door and begun to place the groceries on the table.

“Hey kiddos,” Alex lifted the two of them up in his arms and peppered light kisses on their faces. “I missed you guys so much.”

“We missed you too, Daddy!” Alexis squeezed her dad’s head tightly. “Two months is too long.”

“I agree,” Alex grinned.

“You know, that was actually something I wanted to talk to you two about,” Izzie sat down on one of the stools at the table. “I broke up with Carter last month.”

“Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry, Izzie,” Jo placed a hand on Izzie’s arm.

“No it’s okay. It was a mutual thing,” Izzie waved it off. “Anyway, I don’t really have anything left for me in Kansas and my mom is here in Chehalis. Also, you guys have a baby on the way and I’d really love it if Eli and Lex grew up next to their sibling. So, I was thinking that maybe the kids and I could move back to Seattle.”

Jo and Alex exchanged a look before simultaneously answering.

“Yes! That’s a great idea!” “We’d love it if you moved back.”

“Really?” Izzie beamed. “That’s amazing! Okay, I’ll start making arrangements for the move and look into buying a house here. I can’t wait to tell the kids!”

“We can’t wait for you guys to make Seattle your home,” Jo made a little noise of excitement.

————

“What?” Jo asked as she looked up from the book she was reading later that night to find Alex staring at her strangely.

“Nothing,” Alex shrugged and placed his hand on her stomach. “Just thinking about how much I love you and how grateful I am that you’re my wife.”

“Really now,” Jo hummed. “You do know that it doesn’t matter how many sweet words you say to me tonight, we are not having sex. The twins are asleep on the couch in front of us.”

Alex laughed, “I’m not trying to get in your pants.”

“Huh. What a miracle,” Jo raised an eyebrow. “You’re always trying to get into my pants.”

“That’s true,” Alex smiled smugly. “I normally get in them, too.”

Jo slapped his shoulder playfully, “Perv.”

“Seriously, though. I’m very grateful for you,” Alex brought Jo closer to him and looked deeply into her eyes. “If it weren’t for you, those kids wouldn’t be knocked out on our couch and snoring like truckers. If it weren’t for you, I probably never would’ve gotten the balls to go meet them or maybe I would’ve met them and done something stupid in the process. But you went to Kansas and talked to Izzie and assured me that this was a good thing. And it is. It’s the best thing. We have a family, Jo. A real family. And it’s all because of you.”

“I love you,” Jo replied, eyes shining. “And I love our kids.”

“I love you, too.”

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