#handwriting asmr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hhoneyglasss · 2 years

Text

his sunlight

notes: y hello again! long time no see (lol.) so i decided i wanted to do a sam version of dynasty, and now i’m probs gonna make an alexis and tank version for sam. sry not sry. anyways, hope u enjoy!!

pairings: present romantic relationship with sam & darlin’

pov: sam, third person limited

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46372621

Sam loves Tank.

It’s quite the simple sentence, but it holds a fact that’s made each of Sam’s days since he realized and came to terms with it. It frightened him at first, admittedly— he hadn’t ever felt like this for someone before, especially this much.

But the hesitation he thought he would feel with them was nonexistent. As he’s said before, there’s no pretense with Tank— they’re honest with him, and they give him as much time as he needs to take the next step. They’re patient, and they never make him feel guilty for needing to take it slow.

Their willingness to wait for him made Sam fall for them even more, which he originally thought was impossible.

They made up for the Sun he missed, as their luminance shed light onto the eternal night he originally thought would stretch ahead of him until the end of time. Their warmth was infectious; the type that wraps itself around you and doesn’t let go.

Each day, their sunlight only continued to get brighter, which Sam had thought was impossible, too.

But Tank has always been one to prove others wrong, haven’t they?

And Sam also thought he didn’t like surprises, but here he is.

Sam had never been used to relying on others, the healer in him always urging him to be the rock for those around him to lean on. But Tank was there now, always behind him, ready to catch him when he thought he was going to fall. They let him relax in a way he never could before, now content with laying in their arms as they both rested the night away.

Sometimes Sam’s love for Tank scared him, but not in the way he thought it would. It was more of a pleasant surprise— the realization that he could allow himself to feel like this for someone else.

The realization that he didn’t have to be alone anymore.

Today, Sam had woken up in mid-afternoon, groggy with the fog of sleepiness. He soon found out the reason for his early rising, though— Tank was nowhere to be found in their shared bed.

He left the bedroom and wandered into the kitchen, calling their name when he caught sight of them out on the porch. Sam quirked a curious brow before taking a glance out of the sliding glass doors.

They were sitting on the wooden railing of the deck, their legs gently swinging back and forth over the planks. Early autumn wind whisked gently through their hair, and a small smile pulled at the corners of their lips as they watched the clouds float across the sky.

Sam felt his breath hitch as he watched a ray of sunlight drift onto them. Their skin seemed to glow as the Sun’s rays reflected off of them, and the highlights in their hair gleamed gold.

He covered his face with his hand as his cheeks grew hot, and he turned away from them in a desperate attempt to steady his stupidly rapid heartbeat.

Sam always thought he was so in control of his feelings, but they proved him wrong, like always. They had him wrapped around their finger.

But it’s not like he minded anyways.

#redactedverse #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted sam x darlin #this was so fun to write #sam is so silly #anyways #i hope u liked it!!#honeyglass’s handwritings

175 notes · View notes

anexistingexistence · 2 months

Text

Woke up in the middle of the night last night and wrote this on a sticky note before passing out again

"I have no gender. Am pretty fuckless" is a direct quote from the comic I dreamt of.

#how does this keep happening #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted darlin #redacted sam #this is the handwriting of a crazy person #the fact that i managed to grab the red pen somehow is symbolic for something i'm sure #(this looks like blood)#(it's symbolic in the way that this looks as if a dying man wrote his oracular vision on the walls of his prison cell in his own blood)#also this has been in my drafts for months now and i'm starting to think i need to clarify that “sub” in this scenario means “substitute”#another character (i forgot who) was substituted for sam in this #(it was probably milo)

16 notes · View notes

ejunkiet · 2 years

Text

voicemails (redux) - sam/darlin

there’s gonna be another voicemail okay. also, sam ‘not a poet’ my arse.

redacted asmr: sam/darlin’, rated teen, short and sweet.

READ ON AO3

[NEW MESSAGE, RECEIVED SUNDAY JULY 11TH AT 7:10PM]

DARLIN: TELL ME ABOUT THE DREAM

–

[CALLER: SAM COLLINS. MESSAGE LEFT ON SUNDAY JULY 11TH AT 9:33PM]

Hey, Darlin. It's been… a damn long time since I've done something like this. But you asked, and I want you to hear it.

I fell asleep thinkin' of you. The soft touch of you. The way we end up all close, limbs entwined, at the end of a long night…

You affect me, in ways I haven't paid attention to in many, many years. You linger, with me. On me. The scent of you, when we've been together. The taste of you on the back of my tongue.

I can't get enough of you, darlin'. I don’t think I ever will.

…and somehow, it's easier to say it like this. To a voicemail recording.

Just… know that I am picturing your face. That little pinch in your brow that you get when you're thinking too hard. The way your eyes pierce through me. You see everything. All of me. And I see all of you. There's trust here, and I cannot overstate how much that means to someone like me. Especially after everything we've both been through. You make it easy.

Still. That's not why I called.

I was dreamin' of you last night.

You're in my head, visiting my dreams. I'd figure you for a Walker, if I hadn't already seen your fur. If I hadn't felt those teeth against my skin, marking me as your own. Your mate.

Lord. Your mouth on me. Fire against my skin, weaving a burning path down my throat to my chest. Strong muscles, soft skin. Your kisses like velvet, enveloping me. I can't get enough.

…Christ Darlin', do you have any idea how much you affect me?

The last fifteen years have been- dark. I've been cold. Closed off. You're like a sunrise, illuminating the night. I see more clearly with you, darlin'. You remind me of what it's like to live life, actually live it, instead of just weathering the years. It's too easy, to slip into routine. To let the days slip you by. I live every day with you.

…needless to say, I've missed you, darlin'.

I'll be waiting to welcome you home.

[BEEP]

#redacted asmr #ej writes redacted #ej writes loveletters omg #look I love this format #many thoughts here too #need to figure out how to get sam actually leaving dirty voicemails #I have a plan (thank you domini and char >:3) so WATCH THIS SPACE #wolves and marking #sam and abstinence the last 12 years #writing #I have this in my chicken scratch handwriting also #but I can guarantee no one else will be able to read it heheh

132 notes · View notes

starlitangels · 2 years

Text

Who Should I Listen To? A(n Incomplete) Redacted ASMR Flow Chart

Did I make this while I was definitely supposed to be trying to get to sleep? Yep!

#Redacted ASMR #welcome to my handwriting

164 notes · View notes

tourmalinatedquartz · 2 years

Text

I like to write and sign people’s names. Idk why, I just do. So I was trying to sign Aaron and I kept forgetting the second a so I ended up with what looks like A squared. Look.

#redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted aaron #handwriting

48 notes · View notes

some-vague-curiosity · 2 years

Text

head-canon that Avior looks like an english teacher dressed, and a punk naked

I just think he'd like to collect the things he learns that reasonate with him, perhaps :)

#redacted avior #redacted asmr #my artwork #digital sketch #redacted headcanons #tattoed man #tattoed!avior #this started with the thigh tattooes and then i got carried away #i really like this idea tho #i forgot to add a tag for annubis but he's there on the left forearm #sorry about my handwritting again lmao

128 notes · View notes

sollucets · 2 years

Text

ocean eyes, ii

turns out if anyone shows even the slightest bit of interest in my ocs i go absolutely wild with it. this is yalls fault. continuation of this

same caveats as last time: named & described listener ocs. this one just has my darlin ivy (they/them) and my angel aster (they/she/he, using they/she here. aster’s appearance is described in detail. only ocs & a brief sam cameo in this one

at this point the darlin/angel agenda is a bit blatant, but it’s still possible to read this platonic. both canon pairings are still present

[ed 06/11/22: i have edited this to include an extra ivysam scene and change a couple lines]

this section is set after “confronted by your pack alpha” & runs past “cuddles and confessions with your vampire mate”. contains texting, a slow-burn flareup, & mandatory check-ins

09/25/21

from: unknown sent at 07:21 Hi! It's Aster from the meeting yesterday!

✔️ read at 14:26

09/26/21

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 17:36 I just wanted to let you know that when I said you were welcome to hang out any time, it was both a genuine invitation and a threat. Okay? :)

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 20:03 why do you text like a promotional email whats wrong with you

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 20:06 I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life. What do you have against punctuation? Also, I think you're missing the point. When's a good time for you?

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 21:22 you live with david

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 21:24 Is that the obstacle? I can go to your apartment, you know. Or to a middle ground, like the park on the north side. I'll even bring more snacks. I've got Doritos.

09/27/21

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 00:15 mail em to me

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 08:14 Oh, cruel fate. I'm rejected again. Unfortunately, I'm completely impossible to get rid of, and you have to hang out with Davey next Wednesday anyway.

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 11:15 thats not a 'hangout' ....davey?

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 17:55 Davey. ;)

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 20:33 he hates that huh

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 20:40 Not from me. <3

✔️ read at 22:36

09/28/21

to: sam solaire clan (cowboy) sent at 19:45 do you have time tonight?

from: sam solaire clan (cowboy) sent at 20:04 I can make time. You asking for any particular reason?

to: sam solaire clan (cowboy) sent at 20:06 can we talk? if its alright

from: sam solaire clan (cowboy) sent at 20:15 Course we can. Give me an hour?

to: sam solaire clan (cowboy) sent at 20:17 sounds good. thanks

09/27/21

to: sam sent at 19:16 get home safe

from: sam sent at 19:35 Always do, darlin.

09/29/21

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 07:55 Good morning! I'll see you later today. :) Are you allergic to anything?

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 13:29 im allergic to you texting me before noon

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 17:50 I'll make sure to keep that out of dinner tonight, then.

✔️ read at 18:10

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 22:30 Text when you get home, okay?

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 22:57 no

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 23:00 Glad you made it back! See you next week.

______

Ivy hears them coming, not that it'd be hard. Aster is humming tunelessly along to whatever they're listening to as they walk. The song gets louder as the human gets closer to the bench Ivy's been waiting at, enough to hear the song itself through their headphones, something fast and electronic. (Common problem for empowered people with enhanced senses: headphones won't save you. People listen to the wildest shit in public.)

It's early evening yet, warm enough not to need a coat but finally just a little cooler. Honestly, the weather's one of the things they'd missed the least about Dahlia when they were up the coast. They prefer it when it rains more than once a month. Despite the warmth, Aster's wearing a long cardigan as well as a scarf, their beanpole frame draped in lots of long, loose fabric, including a brightly patterned skirt. Their bright, bleached-blonde hair, hidden under a beanie the last time they'd met, is up in a high ponytail. Ivy thinks their glasses might be different too, actually; the color sets off the freckles that dot nearly every inch of their skin. It's -- nice. They look cozy.

When they catch sight of Ivy, that big irritating grin stretches across their face, and they pull their headphones down, pausing the song. "Good evening, bestie. How've you been?"

Who talks like that? They're fairly certain Aster does it on purpose to freak them out, at this point. "About the same," they answer, although it's not true. They think guiltily of Sam, who they've seen once already this week, and imagine that they're not the same at all. "You, uh, look nice," they say by way of changing the subject, immediately regretting it.

Aster goes a little pink and beams at them, coming over to sit on the other side of the park bench. "Thank you! Um."

Ivy blinks. They've barely known David's mate for two weeks, but it's distinctly uncharacteristic of them to ever hesitate. They're not even sure Aster has a brain-to-mouth filter. "Yeah?

"It's... a girl day, for me," they say carefully, shooting Ivy a sidelong glance.

Oh. Huh. Ivy'd known only that they were both trans and not the specifics, as they'd generally done their very best not to gain any unnecessary information about Aster. They adjust mentally, and nod outwardly. "Okay."

Aster stops still for a second, then smiles again, softer this time. Ivy’s glad. "Thanks. Anyway, Davey actually sent me with a bulleted list, so we should probably get to that so we have something to turn in, hmm?"

Ivy fixes her with a pointed stare. "You know, I'd wondered about that. He let you come out here by yourself?"

Their mandatory check-in last week, the first of what will probably be many excruciating babysitting sessions, had been deeply awkward. After David asked his list of questions (did you leave the city this week, have you learned any new information about Quinn, do you have anything you want to tell me) and talked about what the Pack was doing about it, they'd sat in painful silence until Aster had broken it by chattering about her job the entire dinner. David pretty obviously doesn't want Ivy interacting with his mate, if the odd way he'd looked at her when she'd tried to hug them on their way out had been any indication, and here she is meeting with Ivy by herself, not two weeks after he'd burst into their darkened apartment. Shouldn't he be pissed?

Aster laughs outright, settling her shoulder bag over her lap. "Davey doesn't let me do anything. He didn't want me to come, sure, but I made a very convincing argument, and I have my phone location on."

It's a sound way to do it, they guess, trying to logic away the unpleasant and sudden pressure on their chest. They’d put money on Aster’s argument having something to do with not needing to interact with them directly. David doesn't trust them, and he shouldn't. This makes the most sense, anyway -- Aster is in the most danger when she's en route by herself. When she's actually here, she's safer. Plus, this park isn't actually that far from David's house, maybe five minutes at a wolf run. Still, though, it's a risk. A risk she'd apparently been determined to take.

Ivy looks over at Aster as she shuffles an actual printed list of talking points out of her bag, immediately followed by a bag of Doritos that she places next to Ivy's thigh with a smug little wink. She's human, and intensely vulnerable, and connected to David, and really, really annoying. But she's been -- kind. Made them dinner, brought them snacks, set the meeting out here despite the risks, asked after their well-being at that horrible fucking meeting when she had no reason to care about them.

They still don't get her. The only other person to just - take an interest in them like this recently has been Sam, and that's not the same thing. Isn't it? She's been way more pushy than he ever was, that's for sure.

They don't understand it. Sam's initial motivation had made sense to them, because they were kindred spirits. He understood them, understood Quinn, and he's just - a good man, the kind who can't leave well enough alone. Plus, he's a Vampire. He can hold his own, knew what he was getting into.

(Everything after is still a precious mystery, though. They're still half-convinced they'll wake up and he'll never have kissed them at all.)

Aster, though? She doesn't have a reason. She shouldn't have a reason. She's actively opposing her mate, just to talk to someone who's never even come close to being kind to her in return. What is she getting out of this? If she's just texting them for David, to make sure they're alive and not doing stupid things, there are easier and less personal ways to do it, and she wouldn't be here now. Why does she keep trying? Why is she being so nice? It eats at them.

The guilt does, too, though, so they sit there quiet as they can manage and do David's dumbass questionnaire even though it fucking burns how much he obviously doesn't trust them, and they don't insult her even once. They think.

Aster has nice handwriting, quick and loopy but neat nevertheless. She writes down everything Ivy says word-for-word, despite David's predictable reaction to most things they say, and grins at their blunter turns of phrase. No, they haven't gone after Quinn this week. No, they're not lying about it, and if they were, why would they tell him?

The sun is going a little golden when they finish, and Aster's stomach growls violently. "Excuse me," she says with a little laugh. "Should probably get on that. I basically came straight here after work. Have you eaten? You wanna go somewhere?"

"I'm -- good," they say, thinking distantly of the remaining Chinese leftovers in their fridge. They’re probably still fine to eat. "I've got food at home."

Aster throws them a considering look. Ivy can beat pretty much anyone in a staredown, as a point of pride, but for once they look away first. "If you say so," she says. "Thanks for coming. David worries."

They bite their tongue on the answer they want to give. They know he worries, and that's the worst fucking part about all this, his attention. David, who'll tell them to their face he loves them then stumble over even having a normal conversation, who'll claim them as Pack when he never --

Right. That has to stop. They just sigh and wave a hand at her. "Yeah."

"Okay," Aster says, a little quiet. She pushes the bag of Doritos a little closer to them and gets up, tugging her oversized headphones back over her ears. "Good night, Ivy."

"Night," they say, although she probably can't hear, and stay in the park until the sound of her humming fades out.

______

10/06/21

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 19:15 text me when you get back

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 19:30 I'm back. Thanks. <3

10/10/21

from: sam sent at 19:02 Be there in about 15.

read at 20:03

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 20:45 Hi! Where do you want to go Wednesday?

from: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 20:49 I was thinking we could meet at my library? I have to stay a little late that day, and that might be easier, but of course it's still your call! Also, what kind of movies do you like?

"Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

Ivy looks up from their phone to find Sam leaning against their kitchen counter with an amused expression. He's got a crooked smile that shows up more and more these days, a white pointed tooth just barely visible. They suppress the urge to put their finger right on the tip.

"It's just Aster," they tell him, pushing their phone back into their jacket pocket without replying. Priorities.

Sam tilts his head, thinking. "A pack member of yours?"

"Yeah," Ivy answers, because it's true and it seems useless to elaborate. "Very chatty."

"So are you, in the right mood," Sam says.

Ivy flips him off reflexively. "You're about the only person who'd say that, I think."

His smile widens as he inclines his head. "Maybe so. I'll consider it an honor."

Probably they should respond to that, but whenever Sam says stuff like that these days Ivy's brain goes all stupid and fuzzy, and they don't come up with anything in time. It's awful for their image.

His piece said, Sam turns back to the kitchen and faces his arch-nemesis, Ivy's pantry. The smug bastard actually cracks his knuckles before he opens it. "You know," he says, peering into its yawning depths, "there is more in here than last I looked, but that's mostly 'cause of this bag of Doritos, and that is not the kind of improvement I was hoping for. Did you even use that app I got you?"

After that first morning, Sam had forced them to download a grocery delivery service. They have actually used it since then, but they're not going to give him the satisfaction of admitting that, so they just snicker at him. "Those are actually Aster's fault, now that I think of it. They keep bringing me snacks."

"Do I have to disapprove of them with you, then?" he asks lightly, switching his focus to the fridge.

They know it's a joke, but they don't actually want to badmouth Aster. "Nah. They're good bribes, and Aster's--" Huh. What are they, in a way that isn't too weird to actually say out loud? "Not bad."

Sam turns to them and raises an eyebrow. "That's practically glowing praise coming from you."

They shake their head a little, because of course he'd figure it out anyway. "If you say so."

His expression softens, silver eyes gentle and knowing. "Glad you're making friends, darlin'."

Unable to respond to that in any way that doesn't further incriminate them, Ivy crosses the room to stand in the kitchen with Sam as he opens their fridge, leaning just a little into his side.

"Hey," says Sam, a note of genuine surprise in his voice. "Is that a vegetable?"

They elbow him, hard, and he just laughs.

________

to: aster davids mate (annoying) sent at 04:37 librarys fine

#redacted asmr #ocposting #my fic tag #baby i fully did it again they wont leave my brain #i have to edit up the first one yet #and theres other things i should be doing #but this was more pressing it is Very fun to write texting lol #i have a lot of thoghts about both of their texting mannerisms #including poor ivy panicking for half an hour about how they should probably change sam's contact name #and dithering wildly over a number of embarrassing emojis before just going with 'sam' lmao #it hasnt come up yet but my major canon deviation with aster is that they are a librarian #and i have given them nice handwriting in honor of my mother a librarian with good handwriting #(on edit that did come up. lol)#f: ocean eyes

43 notes · View notes

friendlyfaded · 2 years

Text

I’m a fan of the TTRPG Vampire the Masquerade, which has a function called the relationship map. Because I can’t help myself, I made one for Redacted.

Note: I might have completely forgotten about Elliot and characters from The Balance because I often forget about Elliot (sry 😭)

#redacted asmr #forgive my handwriting

35 notes · View notes

aliyyaharte · 25 days

Text

youtube

3 notes · View notes

celestecreateschaos · 9 months

Text

Baabe oc!

Charmaine Lize Ainsley — The pink princess

More facts here:

• Speaks: English, and a little bit of Gaelic/Erse

• Born in Ireland, raised in UK.

• has 3 little siblings(2 males 1 female)

• pink EVERYTHING, slays anything pink too

• raised in an belove average/close to averagely wealthy family with both parents working hard to support all 4 of them which leads to them having no time to take care of all their kids and she basically raised all of them at a really young age.

• loves her fam alot esp her only female and youngest sibling

• not religious but her parents are, both of them are roman Catholic

• bisexual queen

• her name means: charm, gift of god, and meadow respectively.

#also first actually fleshed out oc woooo!#celeste creates!#- new tag >:DDDD #don't mind yhe bad handwriting #I don't have the apple pen thing #and i did yhis all in ibis paint #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted baabe #redacted baaabe #gendered listener #fem listener #redacted oc

4 notes · View notes

hhoneyglasss · 1 year

Text

kill bill

notes: i think our favorite vampiric princess is in order for valentine’s season. hope u enjoy.

pov: alexis solaire — first person limited

pairings: past relationship(?) with alexis/sam, present relationship with darlin’/sam

word count: 2.2k

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46534081

!! TWs {these begin under the cut} !! unhealthy obsession, physical threats, aggressive language, and graphic imagery. please proceed with caution or do not interact with this work if these topics r triggering for u.

reblogs r v much appreciated!

Time is cruel to those who go against its laws, but it's even crueler to those who follow them.

Time has always been something to rival against—a force that dares test the permanency of the Solaire name. Like all things who attempt the same feat, it is crushed into dust, and Solaire blood reigns victorious once again.

It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s one that’s kept us at the top—crimson crowns spilling red onto those beneath it. It can be ugly, even tragic, but it’s worth it. It’s power—indescribable power.

But it’s a lonely game between us, immortality and I. Eternity is kind to no man, to no creature of the night, and I, a Solaire, am no exception. A night of forever endlessly stretches out in front of me, a path I must travel alone.

Or so I thought.

Sam Collins was something more than the immortal night I was damned to. He was the moon, the stars, that lit up the dark blanket of sky who smothered me in its hold. He was always more than immortality or power—he was alive.

Maybe it was the drumming of his heartbeat in his chest or the way his cheeks flushed rose in the summer sun, but Sam Collins exuded life. He was vitality itself, a man who radiated it whenever he walked into a room. He was the true definition of human.

That’s what drew me to him. His humanity reminded me of the life I had lived so many years ago, those memories now forever captured in this perfect man. A gentleman with a heart of gold, but one who let close to none see it.

I was one of the lucky few.

I was falling—drowning in the river that was him. From his warmth to his touch, he invaded every aspect of my being, and I found myself hooked. Suddenly I saw a brighter future ahead, a future where someone would lead me through the night. I found my own northern star—he was Polaris, and I was the once-lost traveler.

But then his light started to dim. Precession began and suddenly the earth wobbled beneath my feet and Polaris was no more. He laid limp in my arms, fallen from the sky into my lap with a car door lodged in his abdomen. My vision stained red, the moon now blurry, and the future I saw now nothing but a faded fantasy.

I thought of the solution—I found a way to restore the life that had once pulsed through his veins. It’d be different, he’d be different, but he’d still be the same Sam. He’d still be my Sam.

My nails in his skin, his eyes locked on mine, and then my teeth in his throat. I hadn’t ever bitten him before—he said he hadn’t wanted that, so I listened. It was different now, though. He needed this, even when he pushed my hands away and begged me to stop.

My blood then dripped into his mouth, and it was complete. The golden glow of Polaris now shone silver, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t care. Sam Collins was alive, even if his heartbeat had slowed to an eternal flatline.

He didn’t understand.

One who had once fallen asleep in my arms now refused to even be in the same room. One who used to kiss me good night and walk me home now couldn’t bear to look at me. One whose heart I thought was mine now claimed I was dead to him.

I thought it was a phase. Bloodlust’s bitterness, or whatever you’d wish to call it. I pictured him coming back to me when it was over—that same crooked smile looking down at me, just with canines a little pointier.

But then the days stretched into weeks, then months, and then sooner than I realized, his bloodlust was over and the silent treatment showed no sign of stopping. He continued to avoid me like some foreign plague, but I still watched him, still thinking about the day he’d come running back to me.

The day hasn’t come.

Not yet, anyway.

That first year turned into two, then five, and ten and then fifteen years had gone by without a single look in my direction. Even if our progeny-maker thread had been cut, I could feel his change in breathing whenever I entered the room. The nervousness in it, the tension.

The pure, unbridled fear.

I was now the creature lurking in the shadows, the monster hiding underneath his childhood bed. The leviathan with fangs dripping crimson.

All hope was not lost, though. The moonlight still shone through the end of the tunnel, and I was patient. He would find his forgiveness eventually—Sam Collins is a good man, and good men know how to forgive.

That hope stood strong until I started to see the beginnings of the oncoming dawn.

This dawn made their grand debut at a monthly clan meeting in the shape of a wolf. A damned creation with scars slashed across their skin, beginning right underneath their jaw and wrapping around their arms, torso, and legs.

One of Sam’s flannels wrapped snug around their frame.

I watched them, my knees pressed to my chest as I sat on the stairs. I watched Sam’s hand rest on the small of their back, and I watched the way they leaned into him. I watched the kiss they placed on his cheek in greeting, and I watched the tilted shy smile he gave in return.

I watched all of it. I saw everything.

Ten minutes after my vigil began, Sam left them with a kiss on their forehead to speak with Vincent and William. They now stood alone on the right side of the room, their hands fiddling with the cuff of Sam’s shirt.

They must’ve detected me watching them when their gaze quickly shifted in my direction. I didn’t stop watching—I simply stared back. Their eyes were wide and curious before they crinkled into a small smile.

They waved.

They had no idea who I was.

All they knew was that someone in this wide room of vampires had done something ‘dreadful’ to their mate, something ‘unforgivable’. As far as they knew right now, everyone was innocent—everyone was a smiling face welcoming them into this clan with open arms.

How wrong they were.

I didn’t smile, nor did I wave back. Their smile faded slowly, and they dropped their arm and turned away.

Good. Pathetic chew toys are to be crushed ‘neath a Solaire’s marble heel, not given allowance to make eye contact, let alone smile.

I stood up from my perch on the stairs and walked away. I went past where Vincent, William, and Sam were speaking to one another, and like the past fifteen wretched years, I noticed the muscles in Sam’s arms tense and I saw his fists clench. His back straightened, and he became terrifically still when I walked by.

I paused, then turned to the mutt. Did they notice how Sam had reacted to my presence? Did they see how his posture changed? Did they notice the half-inch that his brows furrowed inward? Did they see it? Did they see him?

When I examined the expression on their face, I knew that they did.

The small smile that had tugged at their soft features had now completely dissipated—their mouth was pressed into a hard, straight line. Their eyes, once liquid sun in the light of the full moon, had frozen solid.

Resentment was in their eyes.

And protectiveness. As expected from a dog.

All wolves are the same—they bark, they bite, and then they die. One by one, they shrivel up and fall. It’s just nature.

I used to feel a sort of sympathy for them, us both being moonbound. I felt a kindred spirit in a way.

Not anymore.

The thing with the mutt was that they would not last. They had a few measly, troubled decades in this world while I had until the end of time.

I had eternity—they had a ticking clock.

There is no room in this world for immature vagabonds with a pension for death. There is no room for wolves who are fatally tied to their own mortality.

They will die eventually, and the Solaire blood will reign victorious. I will wear my crown again.

I went to stand beside the wall, watching once again when Sam made their way back to them. They jumped up to kiss his cheek again. I gagged.

Over the course of the night, I watched them. I saw when they both sat down for the clan meeting to begin. They never stopped touching for the entire night.

I wanted to crawl out of my skin.

If his hand wasn’t against their thigh, then his arm wrapped around their shoulder. If they weren’t leaning against him, then their hand closed over his.

Nauseating, disgusting, vile, obscene—there were a million words in the world to describe the scene playing out before me, but none of them quite held the venom I wanted.

The hour-long meeting seemed to drag on into oblivion until William finally dismissed the clan, a good natured smile warming his eyes as he bid us good night. I got up from my seat and began to stalk towards the door, my coat tucked under my arm.

I didn’t get very far when I heard a voice behind me. “Something tells me that staring at Sam’s partner like a tiger about to pounce isn’t gonna make him hate you less.”

Vincent. I stopped and turned around, but I stayed silent. His arms were crossed over his chest, his glare disapproving as it bore into me.

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Vincent.”

“Tch,” he huffed, “I’m not stupid. Do you think I am?”

I didn’t answer that.

Vincent continued, “It wasn’t just me who noticed, Alexis. I heard them whispering to Sam about it during the meeting. You’re making them uncomfortable.”

“I don’t care.”

His eyes narrowed. “Fine, then. It’s making Sam uncomfortable.”

“You’re saying that to get me to care about their feelings.”

“And what if I am?” He asked, “He’s the only thing that gets through to you anymore.”

I paused. “…Does it really make him uncomfortable?”

He nodded. Silence fell over us.

He broke it. “So you’ll stop?”

I couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’ll try.”

Silence again.

Vincent leaned on the railing of the stairs. “You need to get over him.”

“I don’t need anything,” I growled.

“Yes, you do,” he countered, “It was different when he was single. You could chase after him all you want—he could handle the staring when it was only directed at him—but it’s not like that anymore.”

I braced myself. I knew what was coming.

“He’s with someone now,” he continued, “They’re mates, Alexis, and you know what?”

“What?” I whispered.

“He’s happy,” he said, “He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. Maybe you would’ve noticed the change in him if you weren’t so stuck in your own head all of the time, but he’s content now. He smiles. A lot. And he laughs. A lot. He didn’t do that much before.”

Another pause. I started to curl into myself.

“He loves them, Alexis.”

There it was.

The arrow through the Achilles’ heel, a wooden stake piercing my stone heart. Sunlight burned through my flesh until nothing was left but a pile of unlovable ash, blown away in the winter wind.

I didn’t realize how hard I was gripping my coat until my fingers stabbed through the fabric.

I looked up at Vincent. “Say that again, and your tongue will be shoved so far down your throat you’ll be dead before you hit the floor.”

I didn’t wait for his reaction. I turned on my heel and swept through the meeting room’s double doors, ignoring his angry shouts. They were static now.

I made my way around the building, hoping to find my car before I shattered my keys when I saw the two of them in the parking lot.

The mutt had a bundle of flowers in their arms, the bouquet tied together neatly with a red ribbon. They held a card decorated with hearts in their left hand.

Valentine’s Day. How could I forget?

They gazed with awe at the card and flowers, and the brightest smile lit their adoring features.

I could almost see the stupid fucking halo.

Sam rubbed the back of his neck with his palm, a gesture he always did when he was bashful.

It was sickening.

I stared at the bouquet.

There were roses in it.

I looked back up at Sam.

I wondered what I could do with those thorns.

My imagination began to run wild. I imagined snatching the roses from their bouquet and sinking the sharp thorns into Sam’s throat, dragging them through his skin while they tore him open. He’d fall to the ground, his hands around his neck, and his wide, too human-like eyes would beg for help. The dog would scream and scream and scream and I’d scream too, relishing in the noise, and my vision would bleed red just like it did fifteen years ago.

They’d call for help, but no one would come. The hours would tick by and the sun would soon rise. I’d watch from the shadows as Sam’s corpse burned to ash instead. He was the forgotten one now.

The asphalt would bleed red too.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted alexis #redacted asmr alexis #redacted audio alexis #redacted sam #redacted asmr sam #redacted audio sam #redacted darlin #redacted asmr darlin #redacted audio darlin #redacted solaire clan #redacted fanfic #honeyglass’s handwritings

59 notes · View notes