#had a double take to not post this but the ghost of frankenstein came out in 1942 so. i can't rlly be sorry for this spoiler | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nedlittle · 5 years

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greatest hits of my academic career (so far)

said "being murdered by my wife while i'm taking a bath is how i'd like to die" while maintaining direct eye contact with my prof

the only way i could study in first year involved playing pool while shouting answers at my friend

argued that ariel from the tempest is nonbinary a) because i'm nonbinary and said so b) no men in the play display any emotional intelligence

included a 2-minute microsoft paint meme with an essay submission that my prof called "possibly the best essay he read all year"

argued that frankenstein is kin drama bc the creature kins satan but victor said no doubles

when asked what we associate with the renaissance the only thing i could think of was that one post about rawing da vinci so i panicked and said "ninja turtles?"

read >50 pages of wuthering heights and wrote an essay about ghosts as manifestations of generational trauma that got a 96

was regan in a shakespeare version of cell block tango which involved holding a knife to the throat of my classmate who was playing 'william s' the support group leader for mourners murderers anonymous

pitched a lesbian revival of west side story where tony is a hot butch

challenged my prof to a duel (he did not accept)

had to roleplay a church official getting angry at the pope for cutting the dicks off statues

slammed my kneecaps so hard on the ground i was limping for an hour after doing a scene for class which involved my classmate yanking me behind the prof's desk to imply that we were going to fuck in a grove while venus herself looked on

the time the power went out across the city during an exam so the entire class had to write outside before the sun went down

got distracted during my final semester by attempting to write a play about cryptids and the lavender scare in small town america and subsequently failed a class on pirates which i needed to graduate and had to switch my degree from an honours to a general so i was allowed to graduate at all

the original conceit of the play came from an assignment where we had to take a song and make it a scene from a musical so i chose sufjan stevens' seminal gay hit the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us and wrote a scene about an archivist and a late-night radio host in 1966 remembering their shared gay summer camp experience that eventually tore them apart when their parents found out

my diploma still says 'honours' because it was the original one i was supposed to get so now i can technically say i have an honours degree

#kit vs uni #at least half of these happened during class with my fave prof who i challenged to a duel #the meme paper was about same sex marriage in early modern literature (shakespeare's sonnets & john lyly's galatea) and it SLAPPED #the scene where i destroyed my kneecaps was also from galatea which is the spiderman pointing meme but w two crossdressing lesbians #it was not a real knife i held to my friend's throat. it was a butter knife but i did hide it up my sleeve and it was Sexy #the play would have been good if it weren't impossible to stage #i also never finished it #i was writing it while doing a very long term paper on the lavender scare which also SLAPPED #almost everything i wrote slapped with the exception of like 5 things #'kit did you go to clown college' yeah basically. i did an english lit/history degree w a focus on shakespeare & performance #not officially bcus i didn't realize you could actually have an official focus until third year whoops #there are other reasons why i failed my pirates course (i got a 38) but mostly because i stopped showing up and my final paper got a 20

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a-mad-scientist-approaches · 6 years

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Multiverse is a Curse Word (2)

Again, no idea how to describe this AU, other than as some sort of Frankenstein-y mash of @the-subpar-ghost‘s Adrift AU, and @hntrgurl13‘s Dimension Jumper AU and Drifting Dimensions AU. Adeline Marks is also the latter’s lovely OC. Although the Addiford ship has not yet sailed, I’m still going to credit it to @scipunk63.

@deadpool-demon-diva and @thejesterlyfictionista I refuse to NOT inform you when I post an update.

AO3 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Chapter 2: Hand Signals to Befuddle Your Enemies

The scenery whipped past silently, and sunlight streamed through the transparent walls of what Mabel had dubbed The Trainbulance. It had docked over the market place shortly after Ford had passed out. Apparently, fights were fairly common in that place, and medical help was permanently stationed nearby to pick up the pieces.

Her uncle jolted awake right next to her, shooting from horizontal to sitting upright almost instantly. His right hand automatically reached for the gun that Mabel had, with wise forethought, temporarily removed from its holster.

“Whoa! Grunkle Ford! It’s okay!”

Eyes wide and breathing hard through his nose, Ford focused on her after a moment of taking in his surroundings.

“Are you alright?”

“Me?” Mabel laughed worriedly. “What about you?”

“I’m-” Ford looked down at the recovery bed he was lying in, and then at his newly re-located shoulder. “Fine, actually.” He sounded surprised. “Where are we?”

Grinning so wide she thought every one of her braces must be showing, Mabel joyously exclaimed, “The Trainbulance! It can fly! And we don’t even have to pay for it or anything, Addi’s settled it all with the driver. I think she’s magic,” she added in a conspiratorial whisper.

“Addi?” Ford inquired.

“Right here.” Adeline said, stepping into the compartment. “Adeline Marks, your saving grace.” She introduced herself with a playful smile.

⃝

Adeline wore tattered clothes in brown and grey, and her wrists and hands were wrapped like a boxer’s. Ford knew immediately that he should not get on the wrong side of the sword strapped to her back; he had seen how fast it could be drawn. Her choppy blonde hair had a few grey streaks, and her right cheekbone wielded a couple of horizontal scars. Ford estimated that she was perhaps a few years younger than himself and had seen at least as much action, if not more, judging by the confident way she held herself – like she knew she was more than a match for anyone she crossed.

“I think she can hypnotise people with sign language, too,” Mabel supplied. Ford was suddenly aware that he had done nothing but stare at Adeline since she had walked into the room, and cleared his throat.

“Thank you for your help,” he said sincerely.

“Anytime,” she replied easily, “but Mabel’s the real hero here. She came and got me.” Adeline directed another warm smile towards his niece.

Mabel hesitated. Frowning slightly, she eventually took a breath and said to Ford again, “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have cheated.”

Ford swung his legs off the recovery bed and took her hands, making sure to look into her eyes. “Don’t blame yourself.” He said firmly. “Nobody’s hurt, that’s the important thing-”

“But you were hurt-”

“And you saved me,”

Mabel sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder, still upset.

“Mabel, you and Stanford did not deserve to be attacked over a dice game, regardless of whether you cheated. If anyone’s to blame, it’s that jerk of a gambler. I mean, who goes after a kid like that?” Adeline put in. “Next time, only cheat if the other guy isn’t going to notice.” She winked.

Mabel nodded slowly, mollified.

“Where are heading?” Ford wondered.

“This, um, trainbulance is going to drop us off at a place I know, run by some … colleagues, I guess, of mine. At the very least it’s a place to shelter for the night.” Adeline prompted, seeing his obvious reluctance.

“Adeline, it’s not that I don’t appreciate all that you’ve done,” he began, “I would just prefer not to take any more risks than absolutely necessary.”

“It wouldn’t be a risk.” Adeline said quickly and eagerly. “I mean, not by our standards, right?”

Ford ran a hand through his hair, glancing at Mabel, who erupted into a coughing fit.

“I’m good,” she choked out. He really hoped she had not caught something from that alley. He should have tried harder to find a more sanitary, not to mention safer, sleeping place. It was hard to remember how much more careful he had to be now, especially with a child as uncomplaining and resilient as Mabel. That being said, no matter how guilty he felt it was impossible to find suitable living conditions all the time.

It would be best to take it where he could get it then.

“Okay,” he agreed, nodding to Adeline.

⃝

Trying hard to contain her delight and not freak out the others, Addi was suddenly reminded of something.

“Oh! A thing you may find useful …” She rotated her wrist around and flicked her fingers out.

“I think she’s trying to hypnotise us,” Mabel stage whispered, looking strangely keen.

“No, this is a hand signal.” Addi laughed. “It, well, it sort of means ‘I don’t want to hurt you, I’m on your side.’” She rolled her eyes at Stanford’s raised eyebrow. “At the very least it’ll confuse your enemies into stopping attacking, y’know, if you decide to just stand there and wave at them. But they’ll probably recognise it. It works in many of the dimensions I’ve been to.”

“You said ‘side’ as in side of a war?” Stanford picked up, perceptive as ever.

“No. Not yet anyway,”

“So, a resistance effort? Against what? Are you a part of this?”

Addi shifted uncomfortably. She’d want Wesley around to explain this. “I help out where I’m needed. I’m not officially a part of anything. If they need assistance they call me in, like with-”

“Recruiting?” Ford’s voice was suddenly as hard as steel.

“No, well yes, but not you, not Mabel. I don’t involve kids.” Addi became aware that the conversation had made a sharp turn off road.

“You don’t. However, in my experience resistances are often just as brutal and cruel as the institutions they overthrow,”

“I’m not trying to get either of you involved.” Addi raised her hands in a placating gesture. “I just think we could help you out.”

“We don’t need help,” Stanford said coldly.

Mabel doubled over coughing again. As Addi steadied her with a hand, the medical transport shuttle, which had been slowing imperceptibly, rocked to a halt. The cease in motion caused all three of them to sway, and Addi distinctly heard Stanford’s breath catch in his throat when he looked back at her. He froze up, and Addi knew, she just knew that her necklace was showing. In the following moment of silence and stillness, Mabel’s mouth dropped open as she saw it too.

“It’s not-” Addi tried desperately to say, but then her two, well she couldn’t call them friends anymore, heard footsteps thundering towards them from the door behind her.

Things happened very quickly after that.

Mabel tore herself out of Addi’s hand and ran to the exit hatch in one of the viewing walls. Stanford kicked the chair she had vacated into Addi’s knees, making her hiss in pain. With a blast from the man’s gun, Mabel shot the emergency hatch off, and then they were gone.

“Damn it!” Adeline shouted in mingled anger and despair. The two resistance members she had notified to escort them to their base in this dimension hurried into the room.

“Why were you running? There was no rush!”

“The driver was getting impatient,” the blue, three-eyed, spiny one said uncertainly.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm down, Addi reached up and removed her necklace.

“Shit,” she whispered, gazing down at the little golden triangle.

“They freaked, huh?” asked Kot, a green, tentacled, octopus-like person. Their words were filled with sympathy.

“Yeah,” Addi tried to keep her voice from cracking.

⃝

Three days and two dimensions later, Mabel’s cough was only getting worse. She felt unsteady on her feet, and her temperature was stubbornly increasing. She’d also noticed Ford starting to cough.

They could not afford to be sick.

They were both interdimensional outlaws – Mabel by association, Ford by intent – and any wrong move could draw attention to themselves. A one-eyed, yellow, demonic kind of attention. Their encounter with Addi had given them no choice but to keep moving.

“How far away’s the next portal?” she murmured. On the other side of the fire pit in the desert floor, Ford looked up from his calculations.

“Not far.” He said. “It will open in a few hours.”

Mabel nodded and shivered. She was too tired to speak. She was cold, even though she was wrapped in all the blankets they had. Even though she was next to a fire. Even though they were in a desert.

This sucks, she thought miserably. Hey, never had an alien virus though! This didn’t cheer her up as much as it had two days ago.

Ford’s smothered cough almost escaped her notice as the crackling of the fire. A pang of guilt went through her and she sniffled. Worry painted all over his face, her uncle came and sat next to her, rubbing her back.

“S’ry,” Mabel said.

“No, I shouldn’t have let us stay in that alley,”

“Meant for bein’ a hassle,”

“You’re not. You never are,”

Mabel was pretty sure that was a lie. Ford was always counting their rations to make sure there was enough for two. He was more focused on earning money so they could stay in actual dwelling places whenever possible. He always kept a secure grip on her hand when they walked into civilisation, and had gone out of his way to get her proper travelling clothes. Most regularly though, he took the time to teach her about the calculations he used, the most common social customs he’d found, and how to operate what technology they had. To her, it was obvious how much of his attention she took up. It was nice of him to lie though.

Mustering up some last dregs of energy, Mabel asked what had been weighing on her mind.

“Do you really think Addi was working for Bill? I mean, the necklace didn’t have an eye. It was just a triangle,”

“I don’t know,” Ford said tiredly. It must have been the millionth time she had asked that question.

“I really liked her,” Mabel said sadly.

“I know. I’m sorry,”

After a moment Ford drew the blankets around her tighter. “Get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

He’d said that every night since she’d gotten a fever. She never did, but thankfully it was always easy to fall asleep. Waking up was the difficult part.

⃝

Ford woke up to the click of a weapon two sand dunes over. Quietly and quickly, he shook Mabel awake and checked that the smouldering coals of the fire were not bright enough to give away their position. Then he stuffed all their possessions into their bag, leaving one blanket around the girl. They were ready to move in under a minute.

When he took Mabel’s hand she was shaking. Not only her fingers, but her legs were trembling as if they were unused to the strain of lifting her, and her shoulders were heaving with the effort of suppressing violent coughs. Feeling his mouth go dry, he looked into her eyes. Their brown usually full of life, it was shocking to see how exhausted they were now. She seemed only half aware of what was going on.

Enough was enough. Once they were through the portal he was getting her to a hospital.

They made it across three sand dunes before their pursuers caught sight of them. Breaking into a run, Mabel was forced to stumble forwards with him as best she could. Unable to hold it in anymore, she dissolved into a full-blown coughing fit.

When the blue disc of the portal burst into brilliance ahead of them, the pursuers started shouting. A variety of languages met Ford’s ears, those that he understood phrasing questions.

“Stop! Who are you?”

“What are you doing here? Who sent you?”

“This is a warning shot!”

The sand next to them exploded, red lasers leaving afterimages across the dark sky. Ford instinctively threw himself in the opposite direction, cannoning into Mabel. Then he was on his feet and drawing his own gun, only to have it magnetically ripped out of his hands.

“Do not move,”

Ford reached out to push Mabel behind him, but the only resistance his hand met came from air. Ready to dive at the nearest assailant if they had so much as singed his niece, his head snapped around to see her on her hands and knees coughing so hard into the sand it sounded painful. He started towards her but another warning shot flew between them. He froze.

For a few seconds, all Ford could hear was the pulse pounding in his head and the agonised gasps for breath coming from his niece. Then the two pursuers began their interrogation.

“Tell us why you are here!”

“You were armed. That does not suggest a benign intention,”

“Are you affiliated with Wikert Expansion Enterprises?”

Mabel tried to say something, but all that came out was a croak, quickly overtaken by more coughs.

“We’re just travellers, we’re only passing through-” Ford tried.

“Travellers do not live like criminals,”

“What is wrong with the child?”

“I don’t know,” Ford said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Mabel was trying to get their attention. She waved an arm out ahead of her in lieu of words, or so Ford initially thought. Her coughs were coming harder and faster than ever, leaving her with barely enough time to breathe. Her condition was rapidly worsening. Could she be hallucinating? Was that why she was waving like that? Various thoughts presented themselves to him with lightning speed, but no solutions were among them.

With a huge rattling breath, Mabel gave one last cough. There was a muted splat as something dribbled out of her mouth and hit the sand. Ford’s heart seemed to stop as the portal gave one last flare before it disappeared, showing him clearly the red blood his little girl had choked out.

She shakily wiped her mouth and stood up, swaying. Then she made the hand signal she had been previously struggling to: a wrist rotation, followed by splayed fingers. After a very still moment, the two others echoed it.

Right then, the words “Come with us. We can help,” were the only ones necessary to convince Ford to trust them.

⃝

The structure was a monumental block in the middle of the desert. It was as big as a town, and twenty stories tall. Ford was not sure how they had missed it when they had arrived.

Another cough brought his attention back to Mabel. The following sob caused his throat to close up. More on edge than he had been in years, he hurried them both through one of the entrances, their two guides signalling the guards to let them in.

There were only a few people in this section, all wearing a black symbol on their clothes identifying them as medics. A small wave of relief flowed over him, and he looked down at Mabel as –

- as her eyes rolled back into her head and her legs finally buckled. Catching her before she hit the ground, Ford barely registered the panicked shout that left him, inducing the medical personnel to all hurry towards the commotion.

Ford swiftly checked Mabel’s breathing and heart-rate, neither of which were good. Her skin was clammy when he had been sure it was feverish only earlier that day. She was twitching slightly, but not seizing, which was indicative of –

A green, tentacled being started to pull his niece out of his arms. Instinctively, he jerked back, attempting to tighten his hold on her, but the stranger was already rushing away with the girl. Another swell of panic caused him to lash out, to try to stop them from moving out of his sight, even though he was dimly aware that it’s okay, they’re a doctor, they know what they’re doing. The hands of the guides closed around him for restraint, which only made him struggle harder. There was shouting, a call for help, an unintelligible reply, and a sharp prick in his right arm.

Fuck, was his last thought before he slipped into unconsciousness. Again.

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abhisheksingh098 · 4 years

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None Like Joshua - Phanto Troupe Rap Lyrics

Phantom Troupe Rap | None Like Joshua, Daddyphatsnaps, Rustage, Gameboyjones, more | Hunter x Hunter Rap

Lyrics:- Witness tricks and pick a card I pick kids, and pick apart Their body parts while stiff and hard Pick a target, grip his heart Simpin for a king, well I’m a joker so the fight starts Stickin with the rubber and gum like it’s a fine art Strong opponents come at me and you’ll be gettin clapped dude Bungee gum attached too, you’ll be needin clown shoes I’m bad too, Ilumi-nate my blood lust in a bad mood I could carry all the spiders on my back like tattoos Do not act rash boy your life is hanging by a thread You get two strikes on the third filleting you instead Thunderclap flash, zenny stance aiming at your head Got that dome “gon” like Hisoka aiming for some neck Better reign in every breath I might take it as a threat I might shank you through your shoulder blades To take away your flex Send a message take your lungs away And say it with YOUR chest I’m not the “1” to fuck with Why you think they saved it for the best Don’t get attached to me In fact attaching limbs is one of my specialities No defendinga against these nen strings, Got you hooked, yea you’re no match Even if you do get away I can track you down and pull you back A catch If two thousand mafia fell short What makes you think that you have a chance Killin’ don’t come at me Abs-olutely not You two ain’t got what I got It’s an onslaught To us spiders you’re pot shots You cannot hope to come out of this on top Thief, but bet that I’m a threat Yea number three in the troupe I’ll cut your head off with these threads And make a puppet out of you The dark assassin and I’m packin the pain and faster than Anybody tryin to pass me will be Seein my image after Their death Now your fate’s gone, Feitan making the blade slice Then it’s raining blood, but I got the umbrella to stay dry They’re attackin me but I’ll be packin all the heat And now my Sun exposing anybody dyin like a Shadow Beast A spider burning every ant In the summertime Like the biggest ass magnifying glass that you see Unafraid to wear this all black When I’m too hot Come and battle me Look at my bullet to shoot thots No shades on, another head screwed off When I’ll be Giving every ounce of pain back for keeps Wait who are you again? I guess that I’ll fight you Taking out the trash with these ants, so you might lose Beat you in an arm wrestle? I don’t have to try to Find your weak spots, now you suck more than I do Call me Dirt Devil, die, son, from a Dyson Sucking out your blood like a spider till you dried up Turn you into dust, clean it up cause I have to I’m worse than your mom, when I beat you with a vacuum Monster No Frankenstein I’m just here to take what’s mine Go against the troupe Then I’ll start cracking skulls And breaking spines When I finger blast you I ain’t aiming for your gspot But this gon’ be your time of the month When I have to make you bleed dot Get upon your knees I don’t wanna make em bleed But I’m all about the money I’ve been living in the greed I don’t do refunds Double machine gun Loaded and cocked So don’t give me a reason To mow you down Like tall grass Better fall back I ain’t all cap So you better go Bring in the blinky to mop I’m like a soda They bout to get po Phantom Troupe coming in then we wage war Whether treasure or your life, we gon take more Scared of spiders in yo house, then we raid yours Run on one of us? That’s what a gang’s for Phantom Troupe coming in to control those Who oppose us, Hunters taking low blows Raining down like metors with Chrollo And you know we’re about to steal the whole show Dude’s a beast, fighting dog, bitch Shar Pei They’re food to me, biting of a bit, parfait Mushroom cloud, got ’em soiling, shitake Wild style, fur mink on, style archaic The brute is in It’s Uvogin The cruelest crew of fugitives Dispatching any enemy in seconds Do it super quick Try and reach my level, you might settle for a booster seat Deadin those who cross me like their body’s on a crucifix Y’all are buggin, so I best get to spraying shots like pesticide I put a pest aside if he keep tryna mess with I You catching fists, don’t need no straps to make you catch a round My music hits, I ain’t just talking bout my Cantabile I got bars, that’s my conjurer ability Bonolenov is my name and you ain’t getting rid of me I’m guy who’s known to trigger Trypophobia When I put more holes in ya than any of my people see Scanning through your recollection While I’m loading ammunition Got the truth no contradiction I don’t need your damn permission 6 shots for ya dome no reload I’mma tap ya banks for a repo Down low posted up no joke And I got you in the scope Ask Chrollo, he know Hp to take your hp No matter what the page reads I’m setting my own stage There is no way that you can break me I ain’t afraid to pull, Fire Your situation is dire You seen the legs but I’m the arm of the spider Soon as I copy, most likely I’ll catch a body Turn em to zombies, perfect artist I’m never sloppy Dont be surprised you see the eye I’m always watching Making hard copies like papers in a teacher’s office Never let the left know what the right is doing But in this case, your death is what I’m construing Let my replica reposition your entire condition Bodies in the gallery and you just another addition” He, she, them I don’t really care I just came to represent From the bottom of the pent Tryna rise to the ascent Number five in the fam Number four in the troupe Got a lot of things to prove Skip third I’ll be two My intel tells me that it’ll be true Bend, break, slice, and sever the rules Killua, yes, I am coming for you I don’t do it for the money I don’t do it for the fame Villains steady paper chasing Leave em’ winded Die in vain Veins are struck with confetti When I arrive on the scene Is it a party with voodoo paper dolls Or snake poisoning? Dance! Find a victim I can prick the nape of That does the trick, it’s danger when I Flick the switch it’s game on Bats just need a signal maker Manipulator Puppeteering, pups are tearing up I fit the plug, the current courses Through um Like a river does I played too roughly now my toys are broken There’s noise approaching Not a ghost, this troupe has tropes Of genocidal notion Remote controller, push your buttons Feeling desperation Sorta violent, auto pilot to your final destination It’s another enhancer You don’t wanna see me with the hands sir My street cred there It’s clear, I don’t care I did all my dirt off-camera Hit a lick with the clique We turantulas Hit my line better speak with some manners Could be holding yo kids for ransom One false move Pakunoda will blam em! We the Phantom We don’t fade rookies Seem like I ain’t do shit but hey lookie Y’all seen how I had the primate shooky Smoove turned his ass to a bape hoodie Up in York New City no A Boogie At the auction I’m planning to take goodies Like a bully, these kids try me like they gon kill me, don’t push me Phantom Troupe coming in then we wage war Whether treasure or your life, we gon take more Scared of spiders in yo house, then we raid yours Run on one of us? That’s what a gang’s for Phantom Troupe coming in to control those Who oppose us, Hunters taking low blows Raining down like metors with Chrollo And you know we’re about to steal the whole show Let’s go Stacking these corpses and headstones Thievery done in a Pen stroke Look through my book of abilities Killing you guess i could call it a Death Note Nen pro Fur on my coat that’s the dress code Flesh,bones Leaving you wondering Where did a chunk of your head go? Head of the spiders, Divine in my providence You cannot fight us It’s crime without punishment Riding or die We all frighten the populace Bury these commoners deep No sarcophagus Not even zoldycks can handle me When my flow starts The phantom troupe will bring a requiem Like mozart

youtube

https://img.youtube.com/vi/vutplNY4iks/maxresdefault.jpg from Blogger https://bit.ly/3hrFIuW

#Song lyrics

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count-fagula · 7 years

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Bucky Barnes, Resident Haunt

Bucky Barnes was the Compound’s resident grump. Since settling into the Avengers home, he’d made a habit of hiding in corners, leaving rooms as people entered, and finding grunts as an acceptable form of communication.

Bucky wasn’t really grumpy, per se. It just took him longer to feel...comfortable. It was hard to handle the fact that everyone just accepted him, after everything he had done. Nearly a year after Tony had took them all back, after Bucky spent endless hours with B.A.R.F., he was just starting to come out of his shell. He was working on it, okay? Bucky figured as long as he kept working on liking things, and sharing, he could grunt at Clint’s jokes, or skip a couple movie nights, and generally evade social norms. It’s not like the rest of them were any more well-adjusted.

He did feel guilty though, so he put in extra effort to show the Avengers he was grateful for a second chance. He wasn’t sure he would ever feel like he fully deserved their kindness.

This was how the Avengers learned that Bucky Barnes loved to cook. After the hardest missions, Bucky could always be found in the kitchen cooking a huge post-battle meal. If B.A.R.F. was taking a toll on him, Bucky would break out the fancy cookbooks that Pepper had gifted Tony years ago to fill the empty space. (Once, Pepper walked in on the kitchen in shambles, all of her beautiful, previously untouched cookbooks strewn over the counters as Bucky attempted a five-course dinner. Pepper was pleased to see them go to use, and made sure the kitchen was stocked with fancy gadgets). Bucky would grumble over the books and hours later grab the nearest Avenger to sample his latest experiment.

Over these meals, the team started to learn more about their reclusive chef. If you paid close enough attention, Bucky almost had more sarcastic one-liners than Tony. Almost. Get the man to smile, it would fuel the morale of the team for a week. Bucky loved riling up Steve, farmer’s markets, Star Trek (much to Tony’s glee), and internet memes. None of these things compared to Bucky’s one true love:

Bucky loved Halloween.

He loved the spirit of it all. The characters, the scariness, dark creatures suddenly accepted and plastered onto household items. His favorite was anytime a traditionally scary thing was stripped of its terror and turned into something adorable: cute spiders, cute ghosts, cute skeletons, it all made Bucky just melt. He had to stop and look at every Halloween display whenever Steve took him out. He would point at the characters he recognized, gush about spooky decorations, and make Steve try on goofy costumes. For once, the monsters could come out from under the bed and be celebrated. Bucky empathized with that.

It was Steve’s fault that Bucky’s obsession escalated. He could never deny Bucky something he wanted, even back in the day. He was just glad to see Bucky so damn excited about something, although he didn’t really get the whole Halloween hype. That didn’t matter though because this was Bucky, and if he liked it, then Steve supported him. The suggestion came easily then, as they stood outside of a clothing shop, staring at another eerie fall display.

“Hey Buck, you know, uh, we could decorate the Compound if you wanted? I’m sure Tony wouldn’t mind too much.” Bucky froze, and turned slowly, eyes as wide as flying saucers.

______________________________________________________________________

Two days later, the Compound looked like Party City had gotten into a fight with the Hulk and lost. Pumpkins lined every porch. There were black and purple streamers intricately weaved together cascading across all of the hallways, criss crossing the ceilings of the common rooms. Bucky had found different colored glittery styrofoam skulls and placed them on as many flat surfaces as he could find. There were giant cartoon Frankenstein bowls filled to the brim with Halloween candy. They had given him creative control and he wouldn’t be stopped.

Bucky himself was the piece de resistance, as Clint soon found out. Someone was baking something in the kitchen and there was no way in hell he was missing out on food. Clint followed his nose towards the kitchen, barely noticing the festive streamers. Huh, he hadn’t seen Stark decorate for holidays in the past. Whatevs, these were questions for post-delicious baked good consumption.

“I hope you’re making extra for me Barnes,” Clint shouted as he walked into the kitchen area of the common room. “Because I am hun- WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS?”

Clint nearly fell over in shock at the level of Halloween-themed bullshit that had exploded over the Compound. Clint then actually fell over when he took in Bucky Barnes, scary super assassin, pulling ghost cookies out of the oven, wearing a bright red apron that read “BOO!” There were little happy ghosts all over it that matched the cookies. Bucky just stared at Hawkeye on the ground, then turned to put the cookies on the cooling rack.

“ARE THOSE- ARE THOSE WINDOW CLINGS? YOU HAVE BAT SHAPED WINDOW CLINGS STUCK TO YOUR METAL DEATH ARM. STEVE. STEVE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???”

“I think they look good, James.” Natasha smirked, as she stole a cookie and sat at the kitchen counter.

Bucky was giving Hawkeye the patented Winter Soldier murder glare, but Steve just shrugged. “We went to Target.”

“You took a 45 minute subway ride up to Harlem so he could buy BAT CLINGS?!?!? FOR HIS METAL ARM?!?!” Clint huffed.

“No,” Steve deadpanned. “He also got socks.”

Bucky grinned and lifted his leg in the air, showing off his thigh high orange socks, adorned with smiling black cats.

______________________________________________________________________

Tony returned from his business trip, took a look around, and poured his coffee.

“Looking good Buck-a-roo,” Tony remarked and continued on down to his lab. Bucky couldn’t even pretend to be grumpy at this point, and Peter did a double take when he saw the Winter Soldier giggling.

“You okay, Mr. Barnes?” Peter asked. That just set Bucky off more.

Fifteen minutes later, Tony stormed back into the common room. “WHO did this? I DEMAND ANSWERS!” He lifted up a handful of glow-in-the dark spider webbing into the air. Peter looked confused.

“Is that Halloween spider web? Where did those come from?”

“MY LAB!!!!!” Tony whined. “It’s covered in this stuff!” Tony threw the webbing into the air. “It’s floor to ceiling webbing! Dum-E was covered, my stuff is covered! I am going to have to hire a small country to get rid of all of that webbing.”

Steve rolled his eyes at Tony’s dramatics. Tony scowled. “Steve, I would think you would be more concerned. How will I sleep on the lab sofa when my lab GLOWS IN THE DARK? But fear not, Winghead, I know who committed this awful crime!”

“Not like it isn’t obvious,” Clint mumbled under his breath. Tony meanwhile just winked at Bucky and wheeled around to point an accusatory finger at Peter.

“It was YOU! You, Spiderling! You betrayed my sacred trust. Not only is that a breach of my privacy, but there are weapon grade explosives down there. You could have blown up half of New York!”

Peter sputtered in shock. “Mr. Stark! I-I would never! I promise I wouldn’t! It’s- that’s not even real spider web, Mr. Stark!”

“Exactly! That’s the cunning of your plan! So cunning in fact, you must have had assistance from...ANOTHER SPIDER!” Tony whipped around, pointing this time at the Black Widow.

“Yep, you caught us Tony.” Natasha said, without looking up from the book she was reading. Tony flopped onto the couch and started devouring Reese’s Pumpkins, flashing wide grins in Bucky’s direction between more accusations and complaints.

And if Bucky Barnes was laughing harder than he had since before the war, well, no one commented. They’d chock it up to being in the holiday spirit.

#bucky barnes #SPOOKY #halloween #HE JUST LOVES IT OKAY #tony stark #steve rogers #marvel #first fic #thanks villaculture #I WROTE THIS #everybody's friends #quick fic

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