#guys I love hi so much i could cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dalishthunder · 1 year

Text

Honor and Glory I Have Enough Of (p4, final part)

You'd been staring at him for a while now, half empty wine glass perched between your fingers, cheeks flushed a bit from the drink. The intensity of it was heavy on him, and he would have been flattered if not for the fact that he was pretty sure you were fucking Xelzaz. He didn't have any proof. Yet. But he was not looking to be your third, and he had been about to say as much when you spoke.

"I think I've got it."

"And what, pray tell, have you got? Certainly not any common sense." Nebarra snapped back.

You just gave a disgusted sigh and a roll of the eyes, taking a long drink from your glass. "No. I mean, yes. I mean, what I'm trying to say is you." You'd gestured vaguely in his direction.

"You're going to have to be more specific."

"I'm not deaf, you know."

"Well whatever you are, you're not helping your case. Have you already reached your limit? Two glasses of Nord wine?"

You got up and moved next to him. "Just... listen for a minute, yeah?"

"You've got fifty eight seconds left."

Though he couldn't feel your hand through his armor, the gesture of you placing it on his arm was.... Your eyes had locked with his and you gave him a half smile.

"Neb. Nebby. Nebbadiah. I think I've figured something out about you."

Nebarra froze, swallowing down something he couldn't quite place. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He'd replied blandly, very, very glad you couldn't see his face.

"I think you pretend to not care because caring can hurt." You'd pressed your finger to his breastplate, voice low. "But you do. You care deeply. You're just really good at hiding it because caring can be so, so painful, so you run from it as far as you can. But you do."

His breath had caught in his chest, heat blossoming on his cheeks as he looked down into your eyes. He... he couldn't dignify that with a response. No. You were wrong.

"But I want you to know that I see the strength that those bonds give you.... It's not a weakness to care."

It's not a weakness to care.

And that's where you were wrong.

Because you dealt with jarrin root and made the most debilitating and deadly of poisons like it was some sort of stupid game. Because he was about to do one of the dumbest things he had ever done in his life.

He dripped a bit of the thick, condensed liquid onto his cut.

But it was worth the risk if it meant bringing you back.... And if he was wrong, well then, one less dumb, son of a slek nebarra in the world.

"Are you MAD?!"

"Yeah, all the damn time." Nebarra snickered at his own joke as he watched and waited, within seconds his flesh began to knit back together and he let out the breath he'd been holding in. "Oh thank Auri-El."

Gariil smacked him in the shoulder. "Do you know how dumb that stunt was?"

"A true, patented, Excellent Nebarra Idea. You can't see it, but I'm winking under my helmet." Nebarra couldn't help the way the corners of his lips twitched into a faint smile at the exasperated sigh from his friend.

He positioned your head in his lap, the pad of his thumb brushing against your lips before he tilted your chin and poured the potion down your throat. "Auri-El, please...."

Slowly, color began to fill your cheeks again, the bruised, blotchy purple beginning to fade. You didn't wake up, but at least he knew the potion was working, so even though he rather enjoyed the weight of your head on his thigh, your warm skin against his scarred hands reminded him that you were here, alive with him, he placed you in your bedroll and just sat next to you.

Gariil finished organizing everything they'd removed from your pack, moving to take a seat by the fire. "You know...."

Nebarra's skin prickled, bracing himself for the lecture that he knew was coming.

"As long as you only keep things casual, I don't think anyone will fault you."

"Stupid is a bad look on you." He knew Gariil was trying to be supportive in his own way, and he... begrudgingly appreciated it, but it didn't change the facts.

It just... wouldn't ever work between the two of you.

Not that he wanted it to work per se.

But even if he did. Which he didn't, but if he did... it just wouldn't work.

... Simple as that.

He rummaged through some of the books from inside your pack, settling on one of many unmarked leather bound book. Maybe it was Inigo the Brave, he'd actually kind of been wanting to read that for a little while. The altmer flipped open to a random page, eyes catching on a diagram of a thistle flower, each part meticulously labeled with what it could be used for.

Oh... your alchemy notes.

That would have been useful about an hour ago.

Nebarra turned the page, another diagram, this time of fly amanita, mellow colors demarcating the white spots on the cap all through its life cycle. What each bit was useful for, the potency of it all. It was... lovely. He hadn't known that you dabbled with such activities. The next page was filled with schematics for your current armor. Dragon scales, a list of potential different ways of shaping and forming it.Some of it crossed out, others circled or underlined. A lot of question marks. A list of potential enchantments to put on it. He huffed out a soft chuckle.

Some people find me enchanting.

Sure, maybe it had been a corny joke, but Nebarra supposed he knew it firsthand.

Enchanting.

He traced the line work with his finger for a moment. Sometimes you made things look so effortless.... It was a good reminder that you really were just... a person.

I'm not strong enough.

You'd whispered that to him not too long ago. He had no idea what that made him then.

And as angry with you as he wanted to be, he couldn't muster the same virulent hatred he had for so, so many others. Even if you had crossed him..

He flipped through a few more pages, breath hitching in his throat as he took it in, book clutched just a bit too tightly in his grasp. Was that... was that him?

Sitting on a boulder, staring off into the distance, relaxed. Golden armor contrasting with the light blue sky. Something about it felt so peaceful and soft, and a weight settled in his chest.

It's not a weakness to care.

Then why did he feel so small?

A few scribbles adorned the other page, most of the words crossed out too much to be legible, but with the way everything was laid out, it almost seemed like... a poem.

He could just make out, Oh, Old Soldier how-

Why was it crossed out?

Why was he trembling.

Nebarra snapped the book shut, eyes falling to your face. He wasn't going to be a voyeur. You gave him his space... he wasn't going to pry any more than you were.

Placing the book back on the pile, putting another one over it and standing up. "I'm getting some fresh air."

"We're outside." Gariil snarked.

The old soldier didn't respond as he shoved his hands back into his gauntlets and wandered off into the night. The cold was bracing, but despite it gnawing, it didn't sink into his bones like it normally did.

It was all about the money.

He reminded himself.

He was here for the money.

There was no reason to make it more complicated than that.

His heart clenched.

It's not a weakness to care.

But that's where you were wrong.

He'd almost lost you.

An arrow ripping through Camia's eye, laughter dying in her throat as she crumpled.

He wondered if that young soldier's sweetheart still thought about their love. An altmer with a sweetheart. How... how damn silly.

How many people had he lost now?

Not for the first time, he wondered if there was a way to carve his heart out.

But the softness of your drawing....

Oh, Old Soldier how....

How what?

Nebarra paced the ground, letting the rhythmic sound of the waves ground him.

Oh, Old Soldier how... how far you have fallen.

That was almost definitely NOT what you'd written... but it echoed in his head nonetheless.

He sighed, shaking it out and casting up a glance at the moons. An aurora passing overhead and he paused. It really was beautiful up here in the boondocks.

Everything would work out....

It would be just his luck for you to wake up before him and be quizzed by Gariil about dumb shit.

So he made his way back, breaths deep and even finally.

"You okay?" Gariil looked up from the fire.

Nebarra cleared his throat, "Yeah."

If his friend noticed how small and hoarse his voice was, felt, he didn't remark on it.

And as Nebarra sat outside the tent in a silent vigil, he heard the telltale signs of you shifting; The sound of your breath heavier. He turned back to look at you, relief flooding his chest as he saw you begin to sit up. You blinked blearily, wincing as your brain caught up with your body.

"Well don't you look like a skeever's nest."

You blinked again, eyes focusing on him, at first the hints of a dry smile on your face before it fell, the events of last night probably reminding you again that he was dangerous.

Good... good. It was better this way.

No, it wasn't.

"Oh thanks, Neb, for dragging me out of that ruin and saving my life." He drawled. "I'm ever so grateful, whatever would I do without you?"

You let out a soft snort, and his heart fluttered. "Thanks, but... why? Why would you save me after crossing you like that?"

"Consider it payback for that potion. Don't try to stop my plans in the future. I might not be so charitable next time." Maybe.... Definitely not.... He was a hardened war veteran who would follow you to the ends of Nirn and back.

Oh, Old Soldier....

You just nodded, eyes so full of a deep, dark sadness. "Where does that leave us?"

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Well... I mean, you no longer owe me a life debt or anything."

Was that really the only reason you thought he stuck around?

"I feel like I've saved your ass enough times over these past ten months to have covered that already. This just makes it official."

"O-oh... yeah." There was a glimmer of hope in your eyes, and he felt his stomach twist itself in knots. "I guess that's fair."

He wanted to grab your shoulders and shake you, ask you how dumb you could be to think that he was going anywhere. But instead he just shrugged, turning his face to the fire. "Well with all of that out of the way, we can continue."

"Wait... you still want-"

"Somebody's gotta pull your dumb ass out of trouble." He grumbled halfheartedly. "And we make a fair share of coin."

You chuckled, "Fair enough."

He poked at the fire, and even though there was plenty of wood on it, Nebarra stood. "Now that that's all sorted, I'm going to go chop some more wood for the fire."

"Let me help you with that." You went to stand up, and immediately he shot you a glare.

"Sit. You're still recovering."

Your eyes went wide, and you immediately complied, mumbling out a quick, "Yes, sir."

Something in him stirred at that; very, very hungry.

But he pushed those thoughts to the side. For now.

Oh, Old Soldier....

Oh, he most assuredly would be visiting those thoughts again though. Maybe not tonight, but soon.

Yes, sir.

He should probably just go walk into the frigid sea. Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.

Nebarra made his way to the outskirts of camp to a fallen tree, taking the axe that you always made him keep in his pack, and hacking away.

After a few moments, he could pick up Gariil's voice, and he cast a glance over his shoulder to see that he had sat next to you.

Abort mission. Abort mission. Abort-

Yes, sir.

No, he absolutely needed something mind numbing.

"Good to see you awake. We were worried for a bit there."

"Oh, thanks. I guess I did get hit pretty hard."

There was some idle chatter that was drowned out by the sounds of the axe biting into the wood.

And then his ears perked up, "You know, Cor- Nebarra is one of the most fiercely loyal people I've ever met once he warms up to you. Don't take that for granted."

"Yeah... I promise to do my best to keep him safe... ish."

"Good."

Your voice went soft and it took a lot of straining to make out what you said next. "I actually consider him one of my closest companions. I'd be lost without him..." Damn right you would. "... And I still have no idea what he looks like under that helmet."

"Ugly. Count yourself lucky."

You laughed, and Nebarra whipped around to give him the middle finger. Gariil just gave him a cheeky smile.

But he had to admit, the sound of your laughter was comforting. And while he wasn't necessarily sure he had his friend's approval if he ever did want to... pursue something with you, it was good to see the two of you getting along.

Nebarra looked up at the sky for a moment, and despite the churning in his gut, he hadn't felt this at peace in a long, long time.

#nebarra #nebarra skyrim #custom skyrim followers #custom skyrim follower #guys I love hi so much i could cry #i want to kiss him so badly #I felt so so many emotions while writing this #i hope yall enjoy #thunderous applesauce

19 notes · View notes

larabar · 2 years

Text

Sonic the Hedgehog and why he's impossible to write Perfectly

(including me i could not get him right if my life depended on it)

is this me giving up on trying to find the perfect way to write him? Maybe

i've been making lots and lots of notes on a bunch of his characterizations and the differences between them, including what makes any of them Better than the others and it's been .inconclusive

but i think ive found the problem. i can't accurately describe him as a character in general in one sentence without getting too specific or listing stuff like 'fast'

and i think that's one of the only things that stays consistent between all the different media he's in

one of my favorite examples of all this is sonic's lack of a solid theme. he has themes, yes. but they change with every game and tend to be the main theme Of the game. not just sonic. so he doesn't really have one of his own like most other characters.

just gonna plug this video again. it talks about sonic leitmotifs and character themes and how they're used to define each character and it's really cool check it out :]

all this comes with a blessing and a curse. there's always someone who will like one characterization and someone else who will Absolutely Despise it. and honestly that's just sonic's thing. especially with sonic media as a whole

there are definitely ways to mess up sonic's character. it's been done many times. but that's when the writers completely dismiss sonic's core values (but let's be honest even those are flexible and everyone still does them differently)

so. if someone has the golden formula to writing sonic please please please i am on my hands and knees i need to know how it's done

but until i figure it out. im just gonna stick to this. ->

TLDR: sonic is so complex and so simple at the same time and i cannot find any one way to describe him. there are infinite ways to write him and it's honestly better to just not worry about getting it perfect and have fun with it :]

#this is actually just a cry for help /j #i dont know how people do it there are so many good versions of this character but theyre all so different !!#but they all work an can be easily identified as Sonic #i think thats why he works so well as a main character without being a silent protagonist like link #he's flexible. he works with literally any story you drop him in #like. ok mild sonic frontiers spoilers #the main cast each has their own koco and they're all different and reflect each character #knux having a warrior amy having .a lover idk. and tails with a mechanic #they all can be matched with a character so easily !#except. sonics just has A Leaf on its head. no fancy stuff. just a standard koco #and!! it works!! somehow skdnfjf #like theres no other koco that would work better #his koco buddy is just kind of A Guy. a guy who loves adventure if you will ajdbd #because thats who sonic is! just a guy who loves adventure! !! theres not much else to it #wxcept hes not just a blank slate he has personality #going back to the twitter takeover question about what sonics memory token would look like and #none if the other characters could come up with a decisive symbol. tails probably had the best idea out of the bunch #a star. because thats what sonic is to him and the others #its; so cut;e man..... ..#um. but anyways. i wrote all this instead of sleeping ahdbfh #if anyone want to add please do i love hearing everyone else's thoughts on this. its the whole point actually #gonna go to bed soon though so. gn #sonic the hedgehog #rambles #gif

86 notes · View notes