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minecraftbookshelf · 1 year

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Adventures in Grian-Napping

Yakety Sax plays overhead.

Limited Life Session 3 Urban Fantasy AU not-quite-crack but definitely not serious either

Thanks to @crabbbage and @possiblyawesometmblr for the inspiration!

1.9k words

On AO3

"Grian's in a coma!"

Scott almost dropped his coffee when Martyn came flying through the front door, grinning like a madman.

"You know when Pearl moved out," he started, carefully re-balancing his armload of coffee and paperwork. "She left her key. Because she doesn't live here anymore. Because she has somewhere else to live. Just something to consider."

Martyn just looked at him like he was stupid. "Pearl doesn't use the front door, she comes in the window. You complain about it every time." He reached for the coffee pot on the bar and Scott batted his hands away.

"It's rude." He said defensively, taking a sip of his coffee to avoid having to answer any further. Martyn didn't say anything, just watched.

"You also have somewhere else to live. Somewhere you lived before, even."

Martyn tried for the coffee pot again.

Scott dropped his bag to grab it first. "Oh my GOD! Would you stop that‽ I made it, you should know better."

Martyn slunk back a step with an overly dramatic sulk. "You let Cleo eat your food."

"Cleo is undead and therefore immune to faerie food." Scott dumped the contents of the pot down the sink. "You, however, are not. You'd think twice would be enough."

"What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment." Martyn hopped back towards him. "Anyway, that's not what I'm here for. Grian is in a coma."

Scott left the coffee pot in the sink and gathered back up his work things before making another try for the front door. "That's so sad, I'll send a card to the hospital."

"Oh no no no," Martyn shook his head. "Not that kind of coma, he's not in the hospital. He's on Joel and Timmy's sofa." He clearly thought this meant something, looking at Scott expectantly.

Scott just rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. "When will my husband return from the war and take you back off my hands?" He paused. "And by husband I mean Ren and by war I mean his communing with the moon and the wilderness werewolf thing."

"It's a two month retreat," Martyn said immediately. "He'll be gone for three more weeks."

A deep sigh and he looked back down. "Alright, I'll bite. What is going on with Grian and why do we care?"

"Wow, that's cold. Grian is in a coma because, according to Timmy," and Martyn made the most dramatic air quotes Scott had seen in awhile. "Grian said 'Oops, just a second, the gods are trying to take me back.' And then flopped over into his breakfast."

Scott mentally filed that away in his What the Actual Fuck is Up With Grian folder. "Okay, so again, why do we care?"

"We should steal him."

Scott should have kept the rest of the coffee, risk to Martyn be damned.

"We need to hurry though, Cleo, Scar, and Bdubs are already trying for it."

Of course they are.

It took them nearly half an hour to get to Joel and Jimmy's place because Martyn couldn't fly and Scott refused to carry him. No matter how many times he almost got run over jaywalking. Pearl was perched in the window by the door when they got there, her wings twitching behind her occasionally to balance. Scott stopped at the threshold and exchanged a look with her that only felt a little bit awkward. (They were doing better, even if they weren't quite back to the level of friendship they'd had before the soulmates debacle.)

"What's happened so far?"

Pearl grinned. "Scar has been baby-talking him, Cleo is hovering ominously, and-"

"STOP TRYING TO TAKE OUR GRIAN!"

"-And Joel is working himself towards an aneurysm."

Scott peeked through the door that Martyn so thoughtfully left open. He couldn't quite see into the living room from there but he could see Bdubs standing in the hallway and Jimmy fluttering back and forth, wings fluffed up indignantly while he argued with someone out of sight.

Oh, he might just be distracted enough that...

"Hey, Jimmy? May I come in?"

Pearl stifled a giggle next to him, her antenna bobbing in front of her face.

"Huh, yeah? Wait, no-"

Too late.

Scott strolled across the threshold, hands shoved in his pockets and smirk firmly pasted on. Jimmy threw his hands up in the air and stomped away, further into the sitting room.

"He never learns."

"He let me and Scar in too," Bdubs confirmed as he walked up beside him, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Though I don't think he'd realized that was a bad idea yet."

Scott just hummed in amusement. Invitations at this house were good one-time only, courtesy of Lizzie and the copious amounts of wards she'd thrown at the house first when Joel and then later Jimmy moved in. And if he focused hard enough, Joel would be able to throw them out, invited or no. They'd just have to make sure he was too distracted then.

Though Cleo and Scar and Martyn seemed to have that well in hand, circling like vampires at a seedy nightclub. Joel was standing in front of the sofa, his hands on his hips, staring Cleo down, which looked pretty comical from the height difference alone. Scar and Martyn were flanking, trying their best to get at Grian (wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the sofa, staring blankly into space) while Joel body-blocked them without breaking eye contact with Cleo, who looked more amused than anything else. Jimmy was hovering anxiously in the back.

"Awwwww, who's a widdle Gwian," Scar was cooing, practically radiating mildly malicious delight. "Lookit the widdle Gwian!"

"Stop that!" Joel blindly flailed a hand in Scar's direction and managed to smack him across the face, more out of luck than intention. Scar wheeled backwards a bit but wasn't deterred for long, rolling right back up to the sofa, turning his chair so that it was partially shielding him.

"Does the widdle Gwian want to go for walkies?"

"NO!" That actually got Joel to look away from Cleo, clear alarm on his face. "NO HE DOES NOT!"

"Are you so sure," Martyn inched closer. "It's got to be a bit dull, just staring at the wall like that. What kind of friends would we be if we left him to suffer boredom while he does..." he waved a hand vaguely in the air. "whatever he's doing."

Jimmy's wings fluffed up further. Pearl appeared in the living room window with a bag of popcorn as if she'd always been there.

"You're not stealing our Grian!" Joel insisted. It was a good thing there were privacy wards. Who knows what the neighbors would have done by now otherwise.

"Do you think if we threw him across your lap you'd be able to carry him out?" Cleo asked Scar directly, leaning in a bit closer to Joel in a way that would have intimidated probably anybody else, but Joel's sense of danger was skewed and he didn't even flinch.

Scar looked genuinely thoughtful, tapping one finger on his knee as he considered. "Maybe. We'd have to tuck the blanket in tightly to make sure it didn't get caught in my wheels and kept his wings folded up."

Joel looked about ready to explode and was sputtering incoherently. Jimmy was squawking like an offended chicken. Pearl absolutely had the right idea with the popcorn.

"You could at least turn the television on for him," Scott decided to throw his two cents in. "He's already in here."

Everyone quieted for a moment and considered that.

"Mario Kart?" Pearl suggested through a mouthful of popcorn. Jimmy perked up at the suggestion and Martyn looked like it had genuinely distracted him.

"We should do that!"

Two hours later everyone was firmly focused on the television, controllers being passed around and insults even more so. Cleo and Martyn and Scar and Pearl were fighting their way through Bowser's Castle and Scott leaned back against the sofa, closed his eyes and took a soft, deep breath.

Jimmy was easy, Scott's magic familiar and nonthreatening to him. He slumped over almost immediately, sound asleep.

Joel was harder. He had an innate resistance to magic in general that was very annoying, and an extra buffer from Lizzie's claim, but he was fairly relaxed and unsuspecting and he wasn't that far behind Jimmy. Scott stifled a yawn and sat back up. Sleep charms always made him sleepy too.

None of the others except BDubs had even noticed, too focused on the game.

"If you still want to steal Grian," Scott said, right as Martyn crossed the finish line with a cheer and shouts of disgust from the others. "Now would be the time."

Bdubs hopped to his feet. "Right, c'mon, Mom!"

Cleo looked somehow both exhausted and entertained at the same time. "Don't call me mom." Regardless, they got to their feet and gave the room a quick look-around. "Right."

Without further ado, she strode over to the sofa, threw Grian, blanket burrito and all over her shoulder and looked back at the rest of them. "Are you coming or what?"

There was a mad scramble, full of giggling and loud shushing and one close call (Jimmy rolled over in his sleep and almost hit Scar with his wing) before they were all out in the hallway looking at each other.

"Where to?" Martyn poked the Grian burrito. No reaction.

Pearl looked up from her phone. "I texted BigB, he'll meet us at the corner with the car."

"We should take him to Dad," Bdubs said emphatically.

Cleo sighed. "Fine, we'll go see Etho."

Scar and Bdubs cheered. Martyn hushed them and they cheered again, quieter this time.

"We should hurry, the sleep charm won't last much longer," Scott jumped a bit when Pearl linked her arm with his.

They were out the front door and on the sidewalk, BigB's sedan pulling into view before the jig was up.

"WHERE IS GRIAN!"

Scott exchanged glances with Pearl and Martyn and as one the three of them bolted for the corner, giggling all the way, the others hot on their tail.

The trunk popped as they got close and Cleo yanked it open and tossed Grian inside without hesitation. Scar swung himself out of his chair and leaned up against Scott, who had to scramble a bit to catch him, scooting his chair at Cleo. They folded it up in record speed and shoved it in the trunk as well, right on top of Grian, before slamming the doorclosed and immediately pulling Bdubs out of the passenger seat so they could sit there themself.

Scott somehow ended up squished in one corner of the back, with Scar in the middle, Pearl on the other side with her knees pulled up, Martyn in his lap, and Bdubs squished down in the footwell in front of Pearl. Just in time too, as Joel came dashing down the sidewalk, Jimmy on his heels and fury on his face.

"GO! GO! GO!" At least three people screamed and BigB screamed wordlessly back as he peeled away from the curb. Scott managed to twist enough in his seat he could look out the back window. Joel was red in the face and looked genuinely distressed enough that he almost felt bad. Behind Joel, Jimmy took to the air.

"Jimmy's following," he informed the car at large. "He'll watch us from the air but he won't be too hard to lose."

Martyn leaned back, his elbow making forceful contact with Scott's diaphragm as he tried to look out the window. "He forgot to glamour before he took off, didn't he."

Scott wheezed, Pearl laughed, and Scar cackled like the madman he was.

"Etho is going to hate this," Bdubs announced from the floor.

"Only one way to find out," Cleo said cheerfully and turned on the radio. "To Etho's house!"

#trafficblr #limited life smp #afk grian #inthelittlewood #urban fantasy au #pearlescentmoon #zombiecleo #solidaritygaming #smallishbeans #bdoubleo100 #rip etho #he has no idea what is heading his way #bigbst4tz2 #cameo-ing as unwitting getaway driver #rain rambles #smajor1995

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secret-task-tracker · 6 months

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Session 3

!!Spoilers Below!!

Grian:

"For every heart of Damage Smallishbeans takes, you must take the same. You can let them in on this secret, but no one else.. If either of you die in this episode, you fail."

Status: Failed

Joel:

"Deja vu: Listen into another player's conversation then try to have the same conversation with either of them later and get them to claim deja vu"

Status: Rerolled

"Do a 100 block high water bucket clutch in front of the whole server"

Status: Failed

Scott:

"@/lieful Tell someone you love them and have them say it back unprompted. 1 attempt per player. Total of 3 required to pass."

Status: Achieved

BigB:

"Deja vu: Listen into another player's conversation then try to have the same conversation with either of them later and get them to claim deja vu"

Status: Failed

Etho:

"Convince someone you have the same task as them."

Status: Rerolled

"Figure out someone's secret task and prevent them from completing it."

Status: Failed? (there's a bit of debate on this)

Bdubs:

"Use the words "bet" "poggers" "dab" "yeet" "drip" "slay" "vibing" "valid" "rizz" "sheesh" In the correct context over various conversations. If someone questions or repeats the words back to you that whole conversation does not count"

Status: Achieved? Failed (edited as of the 4th session)

Pearl:

"Request an item 5 times in one conversation but never pick it up. You must not be called out."

Status: Achieved

Martyn:

"@/olavivarrud4180 Someone else on the server has the same task as you. Find out who it is. You must still keep this a secret. Do not re-roll"

Status: Achieved

Scar:

"Remove all the light sources from around 5 people's bases. If someone questions you, you need to put them back for that player."

Status: Achieved

Impulse:

"Find any player over 25 hearts and "accidentally" take 5 off of them. The method is your choice. You fail if they ask if it is your task."

Status: Failed

Tango:

"@/chaoticgoodwings You have an imaginary friend now. Talk to them as if they follow you round the whole session and are part of conversations. You must interact with other players during this time."

Status: Failed (Martyn found their secret out)

Cleo:

"@/KoolaEar Film a nature documentary on the server about 2 people who aren't you for at least 5 minutes. If anyone notices you or interrupts the film, you must stop and find someone else."

Status: Achieved

Timmy:

"Re-Bind your W key to A, S to W, D to S and A to D for 30 minutes of the session. If someone points out your weird movements, restart the timer. You must interact with other players during this time."

Status: Achieved

Skizz:

"@/olavivarrud4180 Someone else on the server has the same task as you. Find out who it is. You must still keep this a secret. Do not re-roll"

Status: Failed

Gem:

"You declared yourself incorrectly successful last session. you must re-roll for hard as punishment."

Status: Rerolled (yeah I think this kinda confirms that these tasks aren't given out randomly, it at least confirms the fact that specific tasks can be given to specific people)

Status: Achieved

Mumbo:

"Prevent Scar from losing more than 3 hearts this session."

Status: Failed (grats to the funniest comedic timing with Scar though)

Lizzie:

"Yes man: You can not deny any request or question from another player. You must say yes."

Status: Failed

If I made any mistakes tell me please k thanks byeeeeee

#secret life #secret life smp #life series #traffic smp #secret life spoilers #life series spoilers #traffic smp spoilers #secret task tracker #long post #no cameos at all i think #also Scar has either the biggest screen known to man or just enjoy playing with the tiniest HUD #took me longer because grian didn't add the post-session button push of shame #took me until bdubs' video #but decided to watch a lot more of the other POVs this time around

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