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spacemilkies · 5 years

Note

Could you do a Ben Hargreeves request where the reader and Ben dated and were in love before he died and the readers always been there for Klaus so they're like best friends but the reader doesn't know that Ben is with Klaus after he dies since he wants her to be able to move on even though he's always gonna love her but obviously it comes out? Like fluff flashbacks to them being happy and in love. I love your writing btw!

title: the wheels go round and round

pairing: ben hargreeves x reader; platonic!klaus hargreeves x reader

summary:

the three of you were like a three-wheeled bike

but then you lost a wheel

its a good thing most bicyles can run on two wheels …

right?

a/n: bless the day to umbrella academy. after months of drought, it rained down 5k+ words on my soul

hope you like!

It was more than just an itch.

When describing the sensation of feeling the departed, Klaus had always summarized the connection to an itch.

But it was more than that.

It was a whisper at times and a shout at its worst.

It was both the burn of a cigarette and the sharp punch of frost.

Klaus no longer just enjoyed life because since the day he was born, he’d been destined to share it. Whether it be someone’s brother, mother or aunt.

He couldn’t simply exist without the obligation of presenting himself as a window to those who have departed. They were tethered to him, mere specters unable to indulge in their own whims.

But more often than not, Klaus felt like the collar was around his own neck. The hallucinations tightening around his throat like a noose.

It was suffocating.

Until the few times it wasn’t.

The moments where Ben was on one side,

and you were on the other.

“Please … Klaus. Not tonight.”

Had he had the energy, Klaus would have rejoiced. In the sea of hell, submerged in a pool of souls, hearing his dear brother’s voice was like breaking the surface.

Regrettably, at times he’d been too deep to begin with. The rapid ascend cracking his chest with aches and muddling the shores of his mind.

Or perhaps it was just the cocaine.

‘Twas all a blur at this age.

Except for his brother.

Klaus had been convinced that his brother’s multiple appendages had followed him into the next life, where they finally joined into one.

One string enough to define the parameters of life and death.

One potent enough where Klaus could almost feel the warmth of his finger tips.

No, this was definitely the cocaine speaking.

Shuddering past the residue, eyes fixated forward despite the obvious request for his attention. He learned long ago that it was much easier to escape the allure of desires that were not his own this way.

Of course, the notion worked better with strangers.

“And what exactly did I promise, dear brother?”

He knew.

Ben only sought him out for two things: loneliness and you.

And the two were often more intertwined than independent.

The phantom steps weren’t quite as soundless when the familiar gait in his memory coupled with reality. With his head bowed, Klaus only allowed himself the view of the restless sneakers planted in front of him.

He would account for deniability for just a little longer. Just until the fog lifted.

Yes, there was one plus to his powers.

No matter how much his brother wanted to launch him into kingdom come with the flick of his very murderous friends, there was just no true density to his physical wants.

“Klaus were going to be late. The recital starts in less twenty minutes. “

And in the other side of town, Klaus recalled groggily of the event he wasn’t suppose to remember. Not only would he be pushing the limits of his rather shallow physicality, but he would also suffer to the sharp keys struck in cohesion to whatever dated classical piece chosen for the night.

He could still hear the thundering notes of the last one echoing off the sides of his skull.

The agony of the preservation of music.

“Klaus!”

“Fuck!” Scrambling to his feet, the disheveled man shakily reached for the wall for balance. A few of his trivial belongings clattered to the street below. At least they were disposable now, there was no way he’d be able to make the trip back down again.

Beyond the determination, there was a hint of sympathy in Ben’s gaze. Despite being forever frozen in time by passing, Klaus felt like he was still growing despite the absence of aging. That and Klaus always had a soft spot for his sixth placed sibling.

Well, shit, there went his small window of deniability.

Smoothing his hands down the tattered and grimy black of his clothing, Klaus snuffed audibly as he looked down the alleyway.

“Well let’s get going then.”

____

“Fucking cmon, man.”

Klaus let out a quiet groan of disgruntlement when he peered around the corner once more. Much like like last three times, funding his brother just as ensnared with his significant other.

Despite his warnings, neither of the couple had kept things chaste. He’s managed to get more than an eyeful of Ben’s wandering hands and exposed skin.

Keeping a timer was a futile attempt.

They were too young to die.

Practically skinned alive by their father for sneaking out again.

Getting caught for it again.

All for love.

Teenage reckless love.

Counting upward, skipping a few useless numbers along the way, Klaus finally decided on a limit and turned back to the pair with a stronger resolve.

“As distastefully envious I am of your abrupt jump from bases so quickly, I’m afraid you’ll deny me the opportunity to try the same in the future if we don’t get going,” he emphasized with a pointed look at anything but the two flushed individuals.

Ben let out an equality frustrated huff and you laughed in turn.

And Klaus…,

Poor Klaus was just ready to end it all.

Ben drew you in close once more for a quick snog, one teetering close to another endless makeout fest without his brother’s grunt.

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, after your classes?”

Your face scrunched in thought, before clearing with recollection and you shook your head,” I have practice tomorrow evening.”

Ben’s bottom lip pulled downward at the thought, but you quickly remedied it with a peck on the cheek and a suggestion.

“But maybe, we can meet at night? At the cafe?”

The question was directed more towards the lingering Klaus, who rolled his eyes.

The gesture met by silence.

Seconds ticking into minutes, until he couldn’t take it any longer.

He threw up his arms in exasperation.

“Fine, you little miscreants. I swear if you two drag me through a teenage pregnancy. I will kill you both and drag your souls into my bedroom to view a true the horrors of entangled lovers.”

“Ugh, I don’t know.”

Rubbing sleepily under the droop of his eyes, Klaus was willing to bet anything as long as it got him back in bed before noon. If someone told him something like friendship was such a binding contract, he would have gladly done without it.

The remaining option of pure solicitude and his family be damned.

Anything less would have had him in bed still.

“Look, Ben will love anything you get him. He’s easy like that,” he quipped around a yawn.

What he didn’t mention was how frankly any of them would take a grain of salt if it came as a gift on their names-day.

Who knew being born without an identity would come without the rest of the joys in the world. But with everything else denied, what was one more traumatized shard of a misplaced childhood.

When he finally returned to reality, he found you standing just under him, your nose barely bringing the line of his shoulder. You were watching intently, in a way that could only be described as expectation.

Ah, you’d said something else hadn’t you?

God, he was just making this much longer for himself.

What did Ben even like?

Surely under all the endless screaming and turmoil Klaus had been present enough to at least learn something impertinent about his brother.

All of his siblings mumble of wants.

A proper life.

A real family.

Friends.

Bringing together all two of his lingering brain cells, he squared his shoulders with a posture of authority. “A music book.”

To his suggestion, your nose twisted into a look of pure disbelief.

Oh, you unfortunate clueless little doll. If only he had the time to introduce you to the chaotic world his brother had created to express his undying love for you.

“A music book, because he likes to understand you. You and that complicated, beautifully musically-inclined brain that he’s so obsessed with. Poor boy is tone deaf, but if he can keep up with you literately, then he’s a happy monkey.”

His lips pulled at the joke that went over your head with no reminiscence.

All that mattered was that his brother would be happy.

You would be sated.

And he could get his ass back to sleep.

Klaus felt like something worse than a train had plowed into him. Which was ironic, because he couldn’t think of much else that would leave his body wriggling in agony.

Just the effort needed to part his eyelids felt like shouldering the weight of cinderblocks. The trials of it all would have been much more terrifying had it only been the first occurrence.

Fortunately, or supposedly unfortunately given his state of health, this was far from the first time that he’d found himself plastered to his brother’s couch. His impromptu visits were really beginning to affect the integrity of the upholstery, he mused as he picked lethargically at the dried flakes of his own spittle.

Not even on his best day could Klaus recall exactly where they’d drug him from this time. He tended to only bare the scorches of hell not the memories of it.

A low rumble of thunder tickled at his consciousness, and his body managed to comprehend the action to find the available window perched just east of his grungy nest.

To find only instant regret as the bright rays began the thrall if his punishment.

No storm then.

Then what was- oh.

“The parents are arguing,” He sang alone and off tune to the accompaniment of two voices just beyond his reach. Despite its size, their cute little kitchen managed manifest acoustics only found in the hazy mists if his shower.

“He needs to go to rehab, Ben! This is getting ridiculous.”

“Rehab isn’t going to cure the voices. “

Understanding the horrors behind why Klaus was such a dysfunctional mess had done nothing to deter your efforts to provide him with solace.

More often than not he found himself drug to recitals and practice performances where you felt the noise would help to overcome the screams.

It may have been a nicer sentiment should he have control of the playlist if songs. He was more likely to fall asleep and face his maker than find peace.

Indirectly he found himself observing Vanya on more than one occasion, however, a Samaritan token that he hoped he could cash in at some point in the future

“So were suppose to just let him keep doing this to him self. “

Oh bless your soul.

Klaus shoulders rolled in a crooked dance as his hand touched the three places out of order to a religion he had no experience dabbling in.

May the big guy or women upstairs truly gift you for your heart.

“Baby, it’s not that easy…”

Well, gift you more than they had when they wrapped Ben up and presented him to you.

Klaus wondered if you recognized the veteran you were when it came to keeping the real monsters at bay.

“You think when this is all over … think I could marry her?”

The question was asked so causally that Klaus nearly inhaled the paper roll balanced between his lips. Ben, this little rascal, hardly missed a second as he reached over to take a puff for himself.

A slow dazed smile curled at his lips, his mind floating up and away in chase of the cloud.

All the while, Klaus nearly died from an abrupt pneumonectomy.

“Sorry, I’d like to dissect this first. When what’s over? Sorry to break it to you, but those powers aren’t going anywhere.”

That was a long dead dream amongst all the siblings. This was their life and they just had to adapt to make the best of it.

Funny, he couldn’t remember if he’d heard that from mom or dad.

Frankly, their mother was an autonomous robot programmed by their father, so he supposed they were one in the same.

He shudders at the visage.

Ben took another long drag before handing the joint back, letting the smoke settle in him before releasing it out into the world. He was becoming such a professional, Klaus almost wanted to cry.

Rolling his head back, Ben caught his brother’s gaze, the same languid grin still plastered on his lips,” I mean the old man has got to die at some point right? Then we’d be free.”

Except the old geezer just couldn’t seem to find the bucket to kick. Klaus had to wonder if he was even born with one.

Maybe that’s why he took everything from them, because he lost his bucket. Since he had to suffered it was only right that he did.

Scoffing, Klaus fell back into the cushions of the couch. Their father dying would just be one nightmare for another to him. While his other siblings lived their life, he’d be the unlikely bastard still hearing dead old dad.

He waved his brother to continue,” So dad dies. He has no more control. Enter your bride to be. What could go wrong ?”

“They could say no.”

The taste of rejection was familiar and thick, a viscous emotion that was contagious in all the worst ways. It was an airborne virus, a bacterial infection- a stigma embedded into the very walls they grew up in.

They’d spent their whole lives being discarded from the inside. How would they handle the same on the outside?

Well Klaus certainly didn’t think that Ben deserved that.

“You’re an idiot. Of course they would say yes.”

And when that lazy smile brightening with the energy of the sun, Klaus thinks, yeah it’ll be alright.

___

Except it’s not.

It’s the opposite of okay.

___

“Did you know he wanted to marry me?”

Klaus looks up in surprise, though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he shouldn’t. You were equally as expressive as you were aware. To be honest, you had to be to keep up with them.

Just because they were a danger, didn’t mean they weren’t inherently surrounded by it as well.

As fate brought about.

Ben always made sure to keep you on your toes. Scolding you when your back was turned to the happenings of the world. It was done out of love, to protect you from what you couldn’t see.

Your defense when he wasn’t there.

So of course you’d been primed to pick up on little mannerisms and peculiarities. Lately, when the two of you were alone, wrapped up in your lovers nest, Ben often lost himself to his own thoughts.

But naturally that wasn’t enough to support the little investigation.

No, you needed evidence.

The little box hidden behind the bookshelf was more than enough to close the case.

You still had it.

Unsure of what to do with it now. It didn’t seem like a family heirloom, but what did you know ?

The touch of your own hand stroked fondly over the fingers of your left, a quirk of a sullen smile twitching halfheartedly.

“Yeah, I knew. It was so easy to tell with him.”

Ben’s manifestation came as easy as a whisper yet felt like the heavy side of an iron hammer. He hovered between the two of them, uncertainty rooting his presence just short of reaching you.

His face twisted at the sight of your solemn agony as you picked apart the memories of your life together.

“Every recital I kept wonder if that was going to be the day. “

Klaus could only watch it play out, no plausible intervention available in his capacity to offer comfort. The wound was still so fresh and deep with all of them. The two of you together were just barely managing to keep the gape from tearing wider.

“Then I realized, that wouldn’t be his style. He’d probably try to stick it in a milkshake then freak out when I went for a spoon.”

Ben’s broken laugh cracks his chest, rattling like a case of skeletons. Klaus is glad you can’t hear it, the torment of its sound would only plague his nightmares.

“I would have said yes without a ring.”

When Ben reaches for her, Klaus can’t help but do the same. The urge feels like his own, physically, but when his brother lays his hand atop the pile the warmth doesn’t feel like it’s coming from his own body. At the touch, it sparks an array of emotions he’d only once viewed through a one way mirror.

Now he was the window.

Too bad it was already broken.

“I would have said yes to anything.”

____

“Every time. I know you say you’ll see me again, but damn, you really surprise me, Klaus.”

When Klaus draws you in for a hug, its more than instinctual. Its not an ambient desire.

Its a whim of his own, something that he takes his own personal comfort in.

His.

So maybe he’s a little disgruntled, when a third pair of arms joins the embrace.

And maybe, he’s a little smug when you only respond to his warmth, and his alone.

Call it his own payment.

Grinning, you brush away the damp fringe from your flushed cheek. You always called performing a rush. He thought living with Vanya would help him understand that, but it seemed that music lover’s were truly just one of a kind.

“Tell her how amazing she sounded.”

Ben encroaches on the moment again, and Klaus grits his teeth to bare the grin as he recites the words. Sometimes he wonders if he you can hear his voice as well as he can. The two of you always had such a special connection.

It was a shame that death had to be the one thing that built a wall between you.

With a sigh that could double as exhaustion, you leaned back on your heels. The adrenaline of the recital was finally wearing off. All the long nights and endless dance of fingers across the keys had waned down to this moment, and now it was over.

For now at least.

Give or take a few weeks, just short of a month or two and you would be back at it again.

“So … you look … good?” You winced at the delivery but prided yourself on how it didn’t come out sounding like an interrogation. It was so difficult to properly voice your worries when it came to Klaus.

So much had changed over the years.

You thought you would be able to function without the third wheel.

Most bikes ran on just two after all.

But Klaus seemed to need that third wheel in a capacity that you just couldn’t understand. Frankly, there were a lot of things you didn’t quite comprehend and you had practically dated a superhero.

But with Ben it had been not easy but simpler in all the ways that came natural as being together.

Klaus was the opposite in more ways the one.

Yet so explicitly streamlined down the single reason that he wasn’t alone.

He was never really alone.

No matter how often you tried to fill the space with your presence, some skeleton from the past managed to draw him away.

You think thats the one thing you hated most about the house he grew up in. Despite all those people, it had been voided from so much love that it got to the point that he’d let anything in.

And now he didn’t know how to close the door.

He was getting so weathered just standing at the entrance, taking whatever was thrown at him.

Klaus managed his usual exaggerated grin, and you made no comment of how it drooped a the side. “Oh, but thank you my dear. Truly, here I thought no one would noticed how I walked straight off the runway to make it here on time.”

Laughing came easy, even when it was forced.

“Well, I appreciate it. I really do, Klaus. Everytime.”

Klaus lifts his shoulders and let him fall in his own quirky way,“It’s what he would have wanted.”

“Still wants.” Ben’s words drift like a breeze.

You reach for his hand, meaning every word as they cross your lips,“Yeah, well, he had a great brother.”

There was no denying that your friendship had fractured from being on the receiving end of the blow that was Ben’s death. Things weren’t quite as they were, lacking the instrumental piece that his ghost couldn’t be to bridge your worlds.

But it wasn’t broken.

Ben wouldn’t allow it. He kept Klaus alive, pushing him to remain conscious and aware of the world. Even if his brother’s motivations were selfish demonstrations of his own agendas.

At the end of the day, Klaus retained your friendship.

And in a world of apparitions, it was nice to reach for something and have it met half way.

“Yes, thank you. I’m glad he can hear that and my efforts are for naught.”

Ben flittered between the two of you, instinctively drawn into your orbit. Klaus tried not encroach, but unable to not watch as Ben tried in vain to grasp the wisps of your hair. The intentions phased through you without your notice yet Ben’s look of complacence didn’t falter in the slightest.

It’s what he wanted for you after all.

Your blissful unawareness would be necessary for you to properly prefers in a world without him.

Even when he was still there to watch your steps forward.

“We should treat her to her favorite cafe.”

Ben was back at his side, flickering in and out of space with ease. The question snapped Klaus out of his revere and he found himself answering audibly in reflex,“Oh yes, with my limited funds.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion,

“Sorry?”

Klaus waved you off, not having to explain in detail for once or come up with an exuberant tale to mask his insanity. “Oh, not you.”

Your eyes flashed with recognition. Apart as you were, you weren’t as accustomed to Klaus day to day demons. The man who was once a constant in your life managed to fade to the background without your say so. You knew he was doing it out of his own attempts to shield you.

With Ben, you were a proper team, one that could at least attempt to maintain the forlorn sibling. But alone, it felt like you were a mere spectator.

“Is it getting worse? I mean its, always worse right?”

“Not… always,” he trailed off.

“Klaus you cant keep drowning them away the way you are. Its not healthy.”

This really wasn’t how he planned for this evening to go. But you were a lecturer at heart and consequently he was your favorite subject. He had resist the urge to make a face when Ben hummed in agreement. “I know that.”

He looked up at the touch of your hand, trying hard not get to far swept into your altruistic stigma. Without Ben around, he’d managed to do a better job of dragging you into his mess rather than allow you to pull him out.

You were just too helpful.

Always loaning money or your couch to rest on.

Just attending your performances hardly felt like a redemption to all your kindness. Ben certainly felt that way. In Klaus defense, he never lead a very virtuous life to begin with. Besides, wasn’t the point of all this for you to live your own life?

Ben had died, leaving you two to reform a friendship in his absence. Sure, it was the squeakiest wheel but it turned.

You had just as strong of a hand in keeping him afloat.

“Then act like you mean it. I know its not fair for me to simplify something so difficult, but you just have to cut them out.”

Klaus wondered if he’d imagined the hitch in your voice or if Ben had noticed it as well. Your gaze had lowered as you delivered into your speech, hiding away the true emotions festering beneath. Klaus didn’t know what he would do if the sniffling began. He was oh so terrible when it came to managing emotions that were not his own.

Who was he kidding, he hardly had a reign on those.

But you continued on. Your stance growing sterner with every word.

“Let the past go.”

“Forget about them.”

“Move on.”

They were the same words regurgitated from Ben’s own request to see that you moved on properly after his death. He hadn’t wanted you to remain stuck on his ghost, remembering what had been and constantly reimagining what could be.

More importantly, he wanted you to let go of him completely, so that you wouldn’t seek him out in Klaus.

Klaus always found it odd how you never showed any addition resistance to Ben’s ‘dying’ request. Not that he expected you to declare vengeance. But you knew, he was a walking window to the world of the dead. Knew that if he tried enough, he could manifest Ben back to you. But you never asked.

You just smiled and nodded.

Ben pretended to be unaffected, tried to convince himself that it was what he wanted. But Klaus knew he was hurting from the lack of contact. Yearning to use the advantage only his brother could provide.

Wanting.

Needing.

It just wasn’t fair.

“Even Ben?”

Ben was in front of him immediately, his face hardened in the event of Klaus breaching their deal. But Klaus was done with the suffering, tired of making everyone around him feel it too.

At one point in their lives, they were all happy.

And it was time to stop acting like Ben’s absence was the end of it all.

“Ben…”

Klaus expected more tears. Something of a sort of production of dramatics that would call attention to your private moment. He certainly had the theatrics in him to do so. But you were just … quiet. As if hearing Ben’s name aloud had stripped the sound from your voice.

Ben looked at him with chagrin, mouth already moving to berate Klaus’ impulsive decision,” Look what you did- all our progress.”

“I didn’t want to! I just-”

“Ben, its fine.”

The silence that followed was deafening. It took them both a moment more to realize which of the pair you’d called out to. And with such confidence. You’d just included yourself in the conversation as if you’d been there from the start.

As if you’d-

“You knew…”

Klaus somehow managed to add more foundation to Ben’s fractured words. The weight of the realization suddenly splintering the mirage you’d all built together to keep the world spinning. You’d all contributed to the great tragedy in which no one was truly happy.

“That you could see him?” Your shrug was lopsided. The weight uneven as you offloaded your own demons. “Klaus, you can see everyone. Of course, I figured you would seek out your own brother.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Like there were idiots for thinking otherwise.

In a way they were.

“But you never-”

” -said anything?” You interrupted with another sluggish shrug,” Ben made it pretty clear that he didn’t want me to know. The least i could do was respect those wishes.”

You’d do anything for Ben.

Even forget.

Or pretend to, at least.

What would you be, if you couldn’t meet his last request.

Frankly, it was all too much for Klaus, his body shaking with misplaced laughter as the situation settled within him. You truly knew them- knew them both better than they knew themselves. They’d presented a game and got played by it.

Ben was fairing slightly better, daring to even smile a little in muted pride. Klaus finds himself thrown back in time, the same feeling of trespassing establishing within him when Ben reaches out with a phantom hand to stroke your cheek.

Swallowing around the barrier, Klaus narrates helpfully,” He’s uh- stroking your cheek. Or trying to at least.”

For some reason you all laugh, your accompanied by bringing your own hand up to touch the side of your face. You’d managed to find the right cheek without either of their guidance. Not that anyone was surprised anymore.

“I’ve missed you.”

Oh how Klaus wished you could hear Ben. Something you could all agree on. But he played his part, being the voice needed to maintain the connection,” “He misses you.”

When you open your eyes, your gaze is more watery than it had been before,” Yeah, I’ve missed you too.”

Klaus is caught off guard when your hand extends out, fingers flexing. At first he thinks you’d dared to try to reach for Ben, hopeful for a missing touch. But instead he finds your gaze trained on him, your touch as warm as he remembers.

“I knew I could rely on him to keep you alive. “

Ben chuckles fondly,” Damn right.”

You sigh audibly through your nose, giving Klaus one last squeeze before letting go. “Honestly, this is great. I felt so weird trying to pretend like he wasn’t there. Seriously, you two share one brain cell. As long as you’re functioning, it was safe to assume Ben wasn’t far.”

The jib was popular joke of yours when Ben was still alive. The two brothers were a mix of mischief that you rarely managed to keep up with. Together they were a duo, but the three of you were more than a trio.

A unit that sheltered each other from the harshness of reality.

“I’ll take you up on those parfaits now. Maybe a hot chocolate with a shot. I know you’ve got something on you.“

Klaus was going to end up with whiplash by the end of the night with the way this conversation was going. You departed from them with a promise to return as quickly as you could change, leaving the two siblings floundering in place.

“I know I said this before, but your fiancé is strange.”

The way Ben smiles reminds Klaus of the day he decided that he was in love with you.

Ben didn’t even try to correct him.

“Yeah, but we like them that way.”

#Anonymous #the umbrella academy imagine #klaus hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves x reader #the umbrella academy oneshot #klaus hargreeves x reader #umbrella academy writing #the umbrella academy headcanons

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sebastians-thotties · 4 years

Text

Cunt means family by: The sebastian’s thotties discord server

Summary:

im so sorry

this is legitimately horrible PLEASE dont read this

Notes:

A thanks for everyone in my Sebastian's Thotties Discord server, as well as everyone that runs it's Tumblr account!

This horrendous, disgusting, somehow plot-concurring fic was written by:

- sweets (https://[email protected]/) - claude (https://claudescrustytoe.tumblr.com/) - saturn (https://saturnberry.tumblr.com/) - pimply (https://undertakers-pimply-dick.tumblr.com/) - stale (https://stale--baguette.tumblr.com/)

and whoever else i don't remember because everyone was on anon when we were working in the fic together in google docs!!!!

LINK TO THE AO3 VER:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22011355/chapters/52527664

-mod sweets

Twas a cold caturday morning when our darling sebby woke up, with a cold, big thick ass pastel cock up his ass, “How odd, "he exclaimed, "I don’t know anyone rich enough to leave you here, “ he said, caressing it’s thicc lengthy shaft with his twink fingers.

They must be rich since they seem to have dildos to spare; still leaving this lovely one here what a waste of good dick . under the right circumstances this lovely dicc would’ve went to the right college, married a lovely waifu and had half a dozen brats. “Ah but alas, " The raven-haired mess exclaimed, “ It ended up cold, alone and covered in shit in my phat ass who’s cheek claps can be heard from miles away…...how tragic. ”

Now struggling to hold back the tears,“If only there was a lovely older onii-chan type man to love me manly enough to make me wet yet feminine enough to wear a short dress that BARELY covered his wrinkly ass - revealing his butthole in its 30 years, unshaven sexiness BUT I KNOW NONE! “ Now sobbing into his velvet bed sheets with his perfect twink face buried into said sheets, he couldn’t help but take a deep breath.

Breathing in the smell of his past lovers it must be noted that it’s easy to smell them because he doesn’t wash it but I digress, ashy washy landers, Brendon urine, the big bad wolfram, and snoop dogg the fifth, he couldn’t help but let out an audible moan at the thought of the last one he and his masculine frame AH ! just the thought of him sent seb into a world of pleasure and ecstasy ! his thick Egyptian accent, his tones chest, his amazing rapping skills the way he nibbled on seb’s neck and ear whispering sweet nothings in the devil's ear “ how ya doing lil ma let me whisper in yo ear …..” Ah ! how irresistible . now THAT was a man! he lets out a sigh why yes ...WAS a man ...WAS MY man but not anymore he lets out a muffled cry why? why did you leave me? he silently questions was it because I was too loose ? was it my multiple sugar daddies? me fucking his dad on our wedding night? that couldn’t be it! no one would get mad over something s o trivial it couldn’t have broken them up! Their bond was too strong!

“My, whatever do you mean?” A voice came from the nearby closet. It was Tanaka, in his skinty, flabby, glory, wearing nothing but a short dress that BARELY covered his wrinkly ass - revealing his butthole in its 30 years, unshaven sexiness. “I thought you knew me, sebas-chan~~~~~ ?”

The old man smiled, waving his ass six feet off the ground for sebascunt to see. “I got all ready for you~~~~ arent you~~~~ EnTiCed~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~? OwO!”

As everything was unfolding, Undertaker was watching from under the bed. His toes curling in excitement as he heard Tanaka's phat ass clapping AND EXPELLING HOT LUBE as he walked towards Sebastian. He quickly changed into his sluty maid outfit and brushed his greasy lice-ridden pubes fosebastianba

Tnaksa gasped, upon seeing Undertaker crawling from under the bed, his piss-filled pubes on display. “O-h!!!!!!! Undie-chan!!!!!!!!!!!1 what are you doing here, baby>??? U said u wouLD be wiv me prIVATELY tomorrow night when mY furry costume was ready!!!!!!!11” He asked Underfucker, clearly shocked that he was THERE.

"My b-bby I could n-not wait for your sexiness,,,,," undertaker muttered as shakedked his ass as lice and cockroaches shed from it.

Sebastslut gasped upon seeing the weenerroaches. “nYA!!!!!!!!1 UNDERDERTAKE4FR WHERE DID U GET THAT FROM!!! They’re my favorite~~~ form of lube~~~~.”

Undertaker blushed as he looked over to Sebastain, "Bby,,,how could I forget our nights of passion???" Undertaker excitedly said.

“Oh dear, I LOVED it when you took me anally, all those years ago, during the black plague . . . because of you, my insides have never been the same - they’re FILLED TO THE BRIM with magGots~~~” Sebastwian moaned, sexily creeping his way towards his baby daddy, Underfaker.

Then appeared Claude, who watched creepily from the window. His three-headed dick jumped with excitement seeing the sexy commotion, and his eyes darted around the room, first seeing tanakas sexy as fuck ass with all of the sweaty old man juices ravishing the hair. “Oh, mama Mia what a man,” he exclaimed. He clenched his asscheeks in his brand new sebby Chan underwear, “I feel like a weeb school girl watching her favorite anime. Today’s a perfect day for a big summer BLOW out! "he snickers, his three penis heads dancing like a sugar plum fairy.

Just then, Grell joined outside the adjacent window. She was dressed in a sparkly thong and lacy thigh highs, a devious grin shown on her currently bloody lips.

You see, she had only just come back from consuming the pussies of the innocent, which consisted of, quite literally eating pussy . . . like spaghetti in a fancy restaurant, and having a business meeting with Garfield about the latest shipment of his favorite lasagna. So, now she was looking for new victims . . . Wait, did I say victims?

I meant lovers .

Grell silently slipped into the room, her coochie on display for all to see as she pulled her scythe -shit-covered- from her perky ass. “Hi baby s ~~~~~~` I came for soME~~~~~ COOCHIIE EATING! "

Sebastian looked up from sucking Undertaker’s rotting toenails, his period-blood red eyes wide with shock. “G-Grell-chan???? What~~! Are you doing here~?”

She smiles while grabbing her left titty and stretching it out like a spring, pulling it so she could suck it like a lollipop. "Want some, slutdaddy?”

Sebastian gasped at the lady, his 10-mile long wiener suddenly growing very, VERY HARD. - even harder than when undertaker had taken his virginity 32499484984238042 years prior. “Yes please~~~ momY !~~! Give it to me hard -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1”

“Give it to you hard, mate???? How she gonna give ya what you need, slUT~” a voice suddenly asked, coming from the door.

Everyone on the room GASPED in utter shock, upon finally getting to see who it was…..Baldroy…

There he was, standing in the doorway, his MASSIVE, JUICY, PENIS ON DISPLAY FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, SO FUCKING LONG THAT IT WAS LAYING ON THE FLOOR.

“I’ll get you good, mate~” Bard puurrreeeed, licking his crusty, unbrushed teeth with a cocky smile.

He wrapped his arm around Sebastian, licking eyeballs as sebastian MOANED in pleasure. “Please~~~~~~~~~~ mate~~~~~~~ ditch grell. She can never eat your pp like I could~~~”

Practically unable to contain himself any longer, Sebastian nodded, drool escaping his mouth like it was a fucking waterfall.

He crawled to bard, wagging his PHATT ASS in the air as he waited for entrance. “Daddy….pLEASE!”

Sebasslut moaned pitfully, smiling as he continuously brushed up aganist bard’s snake of a cock, all while everyone watched in shock, hands on their own weiners and coochies, unable to stop themselves any longer.

“Do you take requests~?” Claude asked, hissing like Grell just stepped on his frog feet (which she did, btw).

Whipping his head around, seb gave him a nod and an approving jIGGLE JIGGLE of his flabby, tHICC emo e-boy ASS. “Come and ask spider legs, and you~~~~~~~~~” he blinked (he was trying to wink, but as we all know, simple tasks for sebastian never quite work out well), showing off his balls.

“Can you~~~~~~~~ please eat undertakers greasy, mOIST hair~?” Claude begged an evil smirk on his lips.

Sebastard nodded, grinning as undersucker cackled in delight, shoving his sweat-filled pubes in Sebastian’s not-virgin mouth.

Just then, after about 3 hrs of struggle (and some bloodcurdling screams), Bard had FINALLY managed to shove his 50-yard long weewee in sebayedn’s arse, resulting in a heart attack from the poor demon.

“OOOOOooOOoOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 THERE GOES ME COCK, YE FELLOW WEENIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” bard ROARED, laughing as he ruthlessly DESTROYED sebastian’s danity insides.

“aaaaAHHHHHHHHHHH DADDY BARD!!!! I CAN’T HANDLE YOUR SNAKE INSIDE ME!!!!”

#kuroshitsuji #kuro #lemon #crack #crack fic #fanfiction #sebastian michaelis #tanaka #bard #grell sutcliff #claude faustus #fanfction #black butler #kuroshitpost

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malilimago · 7 years

Text

Starry Nights Part 12!

Riley is a nanny who seems to have it all. She’s got an awesome job with an extremely rich family that only needs her a few hours during the week, a loving Fiancé, and wonderful family and friends, but somethings missing. Lucas is a Veterinary Technician in a very similar situation. See what happens when their two world collide on one starry night in December.

Word Count: 2,300

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Better off Dead (1985): "First, we have: Frawnch fries…and…Frawnch dressing…and…Frawnch bread…and to drink, Ta-da! Peru.“

Author’s Note: It’s been awhile, but I’m back with part 12! As always, a shout out to my inspirations!: @iwantyoutochooseme, @whenrileymetlucas, @katdvs and @grizbehr! Y’all are amazing! And to all those who’ve stayed with me THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT! I appreciate it SO MUCH! I HOPE YOU ENJOY!

Part 12: “Pillowtalk"

Lucas 10:41pm

When we enter the apartment a feeling of relief comes over me. These past few nights have been WEIRD to say the least, so it’s nice being somewhere I’m familiar with. I look to Riley and can tell she’s ready to be done with this evening as well and I don’t blame her. Like I said tonight’s beenWEIRD!

“Well.” We say at the same time.

“Sorry, go ahead.” I chuckle.

“No, you go first.” She insists.

“I was just going to say, I had a really fun time tonight.”

“You’re such a liar.” She accuses politically. “But, that’s okay.”

“I’m being serious!”

“Fine-”

“Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional. I’ll take it.”

Her face brightens as her brows lift. “You’ve seen the Italian Job?”

“Of course, I love movies like that!”

“Me too.” She sings.

I’m just about to ask her what her other favorite films are when-

*Buzz* *Buzz* *Buzz*

I close my eyes and watch my insides cave in on themselves.

This can’t be happening.

“You should get that.” She whispers.

Yup, this is happening.

I reluctantly do as she says and jam my hand in my pocket to retrieve my stupid, STUPID PHONE! I shake my head as I see who it is and hold it up for Riley to see. She gives me an apologetic smile and encourages me to answer it.

“Hey, Pey.”

She gives me another smile than tiptoes towards the bathroom, my spirit deflating with each step.

“LUCAS?!” Peyton screeches through the earpiece, triggering my younger sibling flinch.

“Hot damn! Peyton! Where’s the fire?!” I shout back.

“WELL IT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY THING THAT GETS YOUR ATTENTION! NOW! Christmas!”

I roll my eyes and shuffle towards my room. This is gonna take a while… GREAT.

Riley 11:28pm

I finish up in the bathroom and peek out into the hallway. I can hear Mrs. Hanson’s voice seep through the crack of Lucas’ door. I let out a soft chuckle as I quietly creep back to my room. I slowly lock the door and when I hear the click I let out a silent cheer!

Finally!

I quickly strip down to my undies and dance to my suitcase. I need some much-needed sleep! The past few days have been… Weird.

I take in a deep breath and smile big as I shake out my over-sized sweater with its huge Santa head eating a loaf of bread on it!

It was last year’s Christmas gift to Charlie from Maya. She thought he’d get a kick out of it since he specialized in breads, but he didn’t. In fact, he was deeply offended, which is why I own it now!

I throw it on then clumsily slip into my awesome calf length tube socks! When I’m finished, I wiggle my freshly warmed toes and let out a tiny giggle.

I’m complete!

I glance over to my pajama bottoms and stick my tongue out at them. I only brought um for Lucas’ sake. Ya know, just to be polite when I walk around at night, but right now I don’t care! I just want to be free and let my legs breathe!

I fall backwards onto my bed, bumping my nightstand as I do. Without warning, an unexpected item falls to the ground creating a loud clanking sound. Of course, I scream bloody murder till I realize it’s just Joey’s baseball bat!

Oh thank goodness!

However, my relief is short lived as another loud noise pierces the air. Lucas!

“RILEY?!” He calls as he pounds on my door. “ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!”

I clutch my chest and with a newly found vigor, reply, “YES!” as I try my best to steady my pounding heart.

“Are you sure?!”

“Yeah!” I reassure him as I rush to the door and open it. “I accidentally-” My jaw comes unhinged as I gawk at Lucas’ shirtless body. Greek Gods do exist! He snaps his fingers, bringing me back to earth.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asks with a concerned expression etched into his gorgeously formed face.

“YEAH!” I reply with a nervous chuckle. “I accidentally knocked over a baseball bat.”

“You play?!”

“No! I was- it was when- I-”

“Long story?” He guesses as he flashes an adorable smile.

“Yeah.” I reply shyly.

WHY IS HE SO CUTE?!

His eyes drop to my chest and I feel my cheeks heat up.

He’s checking me out!

My feminist mind is about to unleash a harsh rant on equality and respect when he says, “Nice sweater.”

SHIT! I totally forgot what I was wearing!

My eyes shift to the floor as I stumble through the explanation of it.

“It was a Christmas mess- GIFT! Christmas gift from Maya to Charlie and he was a prick and tried to throw it away- NOT THAT I THINK HE’S A PRICK per say, just an asshole- JERK!” How I keep sticking my foot in my mouth, I have no clue, but boy do I wish I could stop! “I’m sorry I-”

Hey!” Lucas interjects. “ONE! Stop saying sorry for having an opinion and TWO! You wanna do something crazy?”

“Please!” I squeak.

Riley 1:03am

A silly grin makes its way across my face as Lucas and I tumble to the ground. He must have magical powers or something because it’s been years since I’ve done anything like this!

“You’re brilliant.” He pants.

“The feelings mutual.” I grunt, propping myself up on my elbows as I do. We look to each other and high five. All of the sudden a feeling of regret comes over me as I think of Auggie.

“My brother would’ve loved this.”

“My siblings too.” He sighs. “I know!” He states as he sits up.

“Hmm?”

“Let’s dedicate this to them!”

“That’s a PERFECT IDEA!” I cheer.

He rolls out of the ginormous fort we’ve just finish making and calls for me to follow. When I stand up, he’s nowhere to be found.

“Lucas?”

A slight sting takes over my right arm as a puff of feathers explode beside me. I turn to find the culprit sporting a cheeky grin as he holds his pillow at the ready.

“Lucas!”

“Forgive my rudeness, fair maiden.” He cackles in a horrible yet charming British accent. “But, twas you who suggested we dedicate this mighty fortuitous to our kinsmen!”

“Tis true, but an attack I did not!” I reply with an equally bad British accent.

“Well, Darlin’, that’s how it’s done in the kingdoms down South.” He states in a thick southern drawl.

“Fighting?”

“Mmmhmm.” He hums.

“For what?”

“Rule.” He replies with a bow as he tosses the other pillow in front of me. “This Palace needs a ruler before a proper dedication can commence.”

“Then a ruler it shall have.” I retort as I shift my gaze into a glare and pick up the offering.

“TO THE DEATH!” I shriek, quickly striking him in the head.

“TO THE DEATH!” He repeats as he deflects my feeble attempt and swings his mighty weapon of fluff!

I barely miss his deadly blow as I fall to the floor and speedily crawl behind the couch. I do my best to regain my bearings, but am cut short when Lucas leaps over my useless cover and shouts. “HA-HA!”

He lounges for me, but I skillfully doge him once again and race towards the Kitchen. I’m just about to clear the entryway when I feel a cushion knock my balance off. I stumble to the ground, losing my pillow in the process. I watch as it slides across the floor and a feeling of dread creeps in as my eyes dart to Lucas to see if he’s caught my disadvantage.

HE HAS!

I scramble towards it, but he beats me to it and kicks it further away. I quickly jump to my feet and tickle his exposed underarms. He’s so caught off guard that he loses his focus for a split-second, allowing me to snatch his pillow from him!

“HEY!” He laughs. “That’s not fair!”

“All’s fair in love and war!” I quote as I get a good whack at him before running it to the Kitchen. He catches up to me and traps me at the island.

“I see I’ve misjudged your abilities.” He huffs as we circle it.

“That you have!” I state as I book it for the dining room. He’s close behind me, but not for long! I pull the highchair in front of him and laugh as he trips over it. That small distraction gives me enough time to slip back into the hallway. I wait at the end of it making sure he’s still following from that way. When he rounds the corner I quickly flip off the lights and sprint back to the family room where I hide behind the recliner. I peek behind it as he defensively re-enters the room, his eyes peeled for me.

“Can we call a truce?!” He calls out with his awful British accent still intact. “I’m winded!”

I remain quiet as I position myself right next to him then yell, “NEVER!!!”

I spring out and send the final blow to his stomach!

His eyes widen as he looks to his stomach than back to me.

“Riley!” He Wheezes.

I nod with great satisfaction as I watch him fall to his knees.

“Any last words?”

“Long live Cuddle Bunnies!” He huffs.

“Awww! That’s lovely.”

He salutes me the dies (tongue out). I salute him back and for a moment, bow my head in reverence of fallen opponent. After a second of mourning I muster all the strength I can and shout, “I’m the QUEEN!” as I make my victory laps around the now “dead” Lucas Friar. He sits up and joins in my celebration!

“All hail, Queen Riley!” He cheers.

I giggle, slightly embarrassed at how serious I got and take a bow before going back into my fort. He tries to follow, but I stop him.

“First, state your loyalty Sir …” I search his eyes for a name and he laughingly replies, “Mortimer Twigglebottomsmythe.”

“WOW! You are definitely from the Southern Kingdoms.” I joke. “So, go ahead. State your loyalty Sir. Mortimer Twigglebottomsmythe of Austin.”

He takes my hand and gazes deeply in my eyes as he replies, “From this day forth my loyalty will forever be to you Queen Riley of Greenwich Village.”

He finishes with a kiss on my hand and I feel my heart pick up speed.

“I guess that will do.” I exhale.

“Will it?” He taunts and I pull my hand back as I stick my tongue out at him.

He flashes his famous Friar smirk and starts to crawl forward, but I stop him again.

“But I pledged my loyalty?”

“I know. Now you must bow.” I demand coldly.

“But-”

“Bow!”

“How deep do you want it?” He asks with his cheeky smirk still in place.

I gulp hard and shrug. “You may go as deep as your devotion.”

“Okay.”

He sprawls out flat on the floor and my eyes widen because in Mulan that meant a lot of respect?!

“Can I come in now?” He asks, his face still pressed against the rug.

“Oh yes, of course!” I stutter as I help him up. “I’m so sorry! I kind of get carried away with things like this.”

“It’s alright, your highness. I’ve experienced worse.”

“Your sister?”

“ZAY!”

A fit of laughter takes me over as I imagine King Zay forcing everyone to kiss his pinky ring.

“OH MAN! That is worse!”

Lucas 1:54am

Our laughter settle as we resume our positions in the fort. We take a moment to marvel at our work as we try to steady out breathe. This has got to be one of my best. I glance over to her and find she’s already looking at me.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

The feeling from her room come back and all I want to do is grab her beautiful face and kiss her, but I stop myself.

“What is it?” She asks as I back away.

“I’ve never been good at hooking up-”

“Is that what you think this is?” She asks, clearly upset by what I’ve just said.

“NO!” I correct. “Far from it, which is why I can’t kiss you.” Her shoulders slump over and I can tell she still isn’t getting what I’m trying to say, so I rephrase it. “Because if I kiss you now, I’ll never leave.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” She questions as she wiggles into my arms. I breathe in the scent of her hair and feel my body weaken.

DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! SHE SMELLS LIKE STRAWBERRIES! NEXT YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME SHE LOVES BASKETBALL!

I clinch my jaw as I massage her arm. “Not at all, but we gotta be real about this, Riles. We both have a lot goin’ on right now.” She’s about to cut me off again, but I stop her. “AND I WILL BE DAMNED if I’m the reason you don’t get time to heal!”

“I don’t need time!” She pouts.

“You think that now, but I promise you, you’ll be grateful you had it. I mean look at me! I was given that opportunity and it lead me here to you.”

“But, what if that doesn’t happen for me?” She asks as she leans back to look me in the eyes. “What if this is all we get?”

I lightly brush her cheek and whisper. “Then I am the luckiest man on Earth to have gotten a week in your world.”

A tear falls as she quickly tucks her head back into my chest. I pull her in closer and pray.

Oh, please, PLEASE say she’s wrong! But if not. Thank you for this moment.

I lightly kiss the top of her head and rock her till we both drift off to sleep.

#rucas #rucas fanfic #rucas au #rucasfanfiction #rucas fandom #liley #liley fanfic #liley au

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