#goshdarn gender problems

[chrismcshell]

didn’t expect Elder Scrolls Lore to nearly make me cry today but i guess life is full of surprises

#ray speaks #video james #the elder scrolls #goshdarn gender problems #oh to be a fantasy lizardperson visiting my magic tree to get a magic sex change & then going home to celebrate with my family

[transenbyconfessions]

I‘m very vaguely transmasc (libramasc, mingender, masculenby) – my gender is decidedly more genderqueer and agender than it is masc; agender-genderqueer with a hint of “masc in nature”

I’m AFAB, so transneutral/-masculine

I have to say I am so, sooooo glad I rarely get dysphoria anymore

I talked to a cishet acquaintance about gender/being trans recently (and thanked him for asking me over just reading some radfem/TERF crap online)

As part of the conversation, I told him about the gender-dysphoria I had in puberty, that it was debilitating – the only time I still get gender dysphoria these days is when I have an gynaecologist appointment

And I am so goshdarn thankful not to struggle with that (I have enough mental problems as is)

#trans #transgender #nonbinary #non binary #non-binary #nb #enby #transmasculine #transmasc #libramasc #mingender #masculenby #genderqueer #agender #gender dysphoria

[delusionland]

billy’s like ‘SAY YOU’RE COOLER THAN NAMOR, TEDDY!!!! i’m trying to WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH MY FAMILY!!!!’ 

and teddy’s just like, ‘but i’m such a fan of his work! he’s so cool! i just think he’s the bee’s knees, billy! what i offend him and he DROWNS MY SPACESHIP(S) AND DOESN’T SIGN MY AUTOGRAPH BOOK?’

teddy is not the husband you go to when you want to look cool. he legally can’t even say ‘fuck’ or ‘goddamn’. he says ‘frick’ and he canonically says ‘goshdarn.’ he’s canoncially the goodest boy in the universe and he is really bad at lying and has a very low opinion of himself despite being a space emperor / king that has united two warring people by virtue of being reallly? nice?

he’s the kind of husband that impresses every member of your family with his kindness and consideration and tries. devestatingly hard to do so. but in a cool-tempered way where externally it looks like he is putting low effort into things but actually he is trying really hard to do anything at all but also not panicking about it, more like, swinging wildly from even to end like ‘okay! this is happening now! okay! sure! lets go! maximum effort!’

i feel like teddy is the kind of person that... when nothing is happening... he just kind of. turns off and gets depressed and just thinks about how miserable he is. so when things happen! it’s like! exciting! yes! go-time! he doesn’t panic, tho sometimes he gets nervous and dumfounded, bc when he’s taking care of other people he feels good and necessary & whole. when he’s NOT taking care of someone, not taking care of the universe---he feels useless and bad.

he’s one of those anxious people who will go ‘i can’t do this for me. but i can do it FOR YOU no problem.’ but instead of reacting to anxiety with fear, he just bzzt teddy no longer working going to hide in his room and play switch. just shuts down. and that’s why it’s easy for him to believe that billy might have accidentally created him. he doesn’t know who he is when he’s not taking care of billy and the young avengers? he doesn’t feel whole without him? and when he’s not there, not there to be ‘on’ for... teddy just kind of crumbles and thinks about nothing except how much he sucks and how boring he is without billy & the young avengers.

(this is not to say teddy ISN’T boring. he kind of is. his favorite character in game of thrones in 2013 was TYRION. like. he is a very generic nice-boy nerd that likes animal crossing and reading gen fanfic and his favorite food is pizza and he very likely is a product of tumblr ‘frick frack’ and ‘pizza rolls not gender roles’ and ‘pupper’ culture. he’s not going out of his way to be interested in anything deeper or even more thoroughly than that. which is not to say YOU’RE boring if you’re into any of those things, just that. you know. he maintains a certain degree of mainstream nerd that charm that doesn’t get into any specific niche or area of research that would make him a particularly interesting person to talk to about anything, which is another one of his problems---teddy altman plays the therapist, or he lets many conversations die after bad lies, resulting in loneliness.)

teddy LIKES working hard and being polite and taking care of people and impressing moms aunts grandmoms and little kids. teddy LIKES being the voice of reason, the common sense, the cool head in the face of danger, the springboard to jump ideas off of---but never the one with the ideas. it’s when he’s NOT doing those things or being those things that he gets anxious and in his own head.

teddy altman can do ANYTHING. literally shapeshift into ANYTHING. be anyone or anything u need him to be. as long as its for someone else.

#teddy is proof that tops are not always cool sometimes they are big soft dorks that YES will impale anyone who touches their husband #but also cannot imagine killing anyone even as emperor of the SKRULLS and the KREES who u know. like to kill. a lot #i give fanon portrayals a lot of shit for making characters 'too soft' but teddy really just genuinely is a big soft naive fool #hc: teddy #ch: teddy #fandom: young avengers #fandom: marvel #fandom: superheroes

[woozapooza]

30-DAY TV SHOW CHALLENGE: DAY 20

Day 20 - Favourite kiss

I get so happy every time two men or two women kiss on TV, so inevitably it wasn’t going to be an m/f couple that won Best Kiss, though there are some really great straight kisses out there. 90% of the reason I started watching Wynonna Earp is that I heard there was quality non-tragic f/f content, and it did not disappoint. Waverly Earp and Nicole Haught are well on their way to being my favorite same-gender ship and one of my favorite ships period, and this is their first kiss. And their second kiss. The first kiss of any romance like this, where there’s chemistry but they’re holding back from becoming a couple until they give in and kiss, is always a joy (assuming I like the couple, of course). It’s a common trope, come to think of it. My actual OTP’s first kiss was sort of like that. But it’s especially magical when at least one of the members is just coming to terms with their sexuality.

Besides the gaiety of it all and my overall affection for this couple, another thing that distinguishes the WayHaught kiss is how nervous Waverly is. She herds Nicole into the sheriff’s office, hurries to close the blinds, and throws herself at Nicole while Nicole is talking, as if she might not do it if she hesitates. She kisses her so powerfully that Nicole, who is larger than Waverly, stumbles backward and falls onto the couch. But the reluctance that causes this urgency comes exclusively from nerves, not from doubt about her feelings; she makes it very clear that this is something she’s doing because she wants to. Like many great fictional romances (including, again, my OTP) Waverly’s decision to go after Nicole is inseparable from her character development. After kissing Nicole, Waverly talks about several experiences she would like to have, such as parachuting out of a plane. But above all, “When I think about what I want to do most in this world, it’s you.” Waverly’s attraction to Nicole is so powerful, it induces her to stop holding back from doing the things she dreams of.

Earlier in the episode (1x09), Waverly is walking down the street alone after that disastrous conversation where she and Nicole are talking about completely different things. (Is there a name for that trope? There must be.) Nicole pulls up alongside her and insists on giving Waverly a ride back into town. Waverly is clearly upset about that awkward conversation, but that’s not all that’s upsetting her: “Gus is selling Shorty’s. She acts like she won’t, but she is. And everything’s changing around me but it’s all too fast, you know, and it’s like nobody ever asks me if I’m okay with it. Like, could everybody just stand still for one fricking minute?” Nicole responds by comforting her and putting her hand on Waverly’s. Look how Waverly reacts to that contact: 

The way her eyes are slowly drawn toward Nicole reminds me of that scene in Nicole’s first episode when they Look at each other. Nicole has had a magnetic pull on Waverly from day 1 and when Waverly throws herself at her, she’s giving in to that pull. Of course, her growing chemistry with Nicole is one of the ways her world is changing, and it frightens her. When Nicole says “I think you’ve just been dating too many shitheads” and Waverly snaps “We’re not dating,” it strikes me as a “the lady doth protest too much” moment. Nicole didn’t imply that they were dating. Waverly brought that assumption and lashes out at Nicole rather than confront her own desires. But her chemistry with Nicole is not comparable to Gus selling Shorty’s. Nicole is kind, considerate, supportive. She comforts Waverly even after Waverly is rude to her. She “would never ask [Waverly] to be someone [she’s] not.” But if Waverly is open to taking the leap, Nicole is ready and willing to be a great girlfriend.

The next step toward getting them to kiss comes, funnily enough, from Gus, who reminds Waverly that change and surprises—“About what we want. Who we want”—can be good and that maybe it’s time to stop doing what others want and start doing what she wants. Who she wants. Gus connects Waverly’s love of Nicole to her overall character development when she shifts from encouraging Waverly to “spread those wings of [hers]” in general to alluding to Nicole in particular.

So that’s how we get Waverly barging into the Sheriff’s department, making sure Nedley is out, not even trying to make conversation, just rushing into the office and closing the blinds without giving Nicole a clue as to what’s going on. Nicole apparently thinks Waverly is still upset, as she starts to say, “What is your problem? I don’t understand why you—” KISS!!! After the kiss, Waverly doesn’t go straight into her feelings for Nicole. Instead she talks about how she wants to do things that scare her…such as Nicole, who seems to find it adorable that Waverly is scared of her. Nicole’s adoration makes it clear that, scary as it may be, Waverly is wise to pursue her. Then they make out, and it is so goshdarn passionate. It’s what I signed up for when I started watching Wynonna Earp.

I have to add that until 2x02, which is pretty clearly their first time, I assumed Waverly and Nicole had had sex right there on Nedley’s couch.

#x #Syfy Wynonna Earp #Wynonna Earp #wayhaught #30 day tv show challenge #Anna watches tv #Anna watches Wynonna Earp #just ladies #what I want to do most in this world #romance #Waverly Earp #Nicole Haught #analysis #I have many thoughts #100 #wow I did not expect this to get so many notes

[chrismcshell]

i’m they/them in a man way and he/him in a nonbinary way. btw

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #im a they/he im a he/they im nonbinary im a trans man im a Dude. hope this helps <3

[chrismcshell]

my mom is the truest trans ally for cutting my hair for me on tdov <3 (and also for accepting me as her nonbinary child, and for raising me as a happy gender-nonconforming “girl” even before either of us had any idea i could possibly be trans. but mostly for cutting my hair <3)

#ray speaks #endlessly thankful that my mom and sister have been willing and able to cut my hair every few months over the past 2 years #shoutout to my mom and sister for being the most important cis women in the whole world #<3 #goshdarn gender problems

[chrismcshell]

ummmmmmmm i'm kind of Out to my mom now lol

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #shoutout to the Canadian Census for having a Gender Identity question which prompted my mom to actually ask me about my Gender #shoutout to my mom for opening this conversation that i have been too cowardly to start myself for so many years #and for being so very chill and good and. man. i love my mom y'all #good news everyone my mother accepts me not only as a Furry and Twitch Streamer but as a Non-Binary Furry Twitch Streamer

[chrismcshell]

The Three Genders (Pokemon FireRed/LeafGreen Soundtrack)

#pokemon #this is so funny to me im losing it #goshdarn gender problems

[chrismcshell]

stepping out of my own head for a minute & realizing that it might be a little bit silly that i Still feel nervous about my family seeing my hairy legs every summer, when i have not shaved my legs since 2014. hm

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #got those thoughts like oh no i am a deviant im a freak im a weirdo i must hide my self #meanwhile i have BEEN Out Here with my hairy legs and short hair and mens clothes and so on for YEARS #@ myself everyone already knows youre gnc af babe it's okay <3 #calm down <3

[chrismcshell]

i think i already mentioned this at some point but this october (idk the exact date but i know it’s october) will mark 10 years since i first realized i was Not Cis :)

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #transgending for a whole decade babyyy #in october 2011 i learned that nonbinary people exist and i said Oh. #in the years that followed i would identify with various different Gender Labels but i never went back to calling myself a Girl #genderqueer genderfluid boy man guy demiboy nonbinary transmasc dude. 10 years of being various flavours of Not A Girl/Woman #🎉

[chrismcshell]

it’s the first day of spring, it’s the persian new year, it’s a beautiful sunny day outside, and i am transgender. u know, new life and new beginnings and transformation and all that

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #that early-spring mood

[chrismcshell]

uh oh! having a case of the Genders today

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #i wanna come out so bad hfdgdfkgfd #but i am. Afraid #can i just skip to the part where i am already Out & on hrt & post top surgery etc #fuckin speedrun transition; skip all the difficult conversations n get right to the results #pls #hrhhfg i gotta stop stressing abt everything. between this & school i am giving myself goddamn heartburn #not to be a big baby but why cant life just be Easy. :/

[chrismcshell]

i want ppl to perceive me as a man so they'll see me wearing nail polish, looking “gnc af” as the kids say, and gaze at me lustfully

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #reasons to medically transition: this #and i am only half joking. maybe even less than half. this is simply Who I Am

[chrismcshell]

i have an appointment with a new family doctor in a few weeks. may the gods of Transgenderism give me the strength to tell this doctor im trans and the fortune for him to be chill about it

#ray speaks #goshdarn gender problems #if all goes well i might actually accomplish my goal of getting on hrt this year (or at least getting that process started) #a goal that i had abandoned months ago w covid and all that #it could actually happen #pretty freakin surreal if true

[chrismcshell]

yall mind if i uuuuuh take some selfies real quick to show off my scruffy baby facial hair before i shave for my zoom lecture

#ray's face #it's such a silly little thing but ive been shaving less often lately & it's giving me some nice gender euphoria #pretty neat that my body just naturally does this #pcos is sometimes a curse but also sometimes a blessing #goshdarn gender problems

[chrismcshell]

ebay recommends only the manliest keychains to me

#YES i am a gayass nerdman and i have been looking at ace attorney merch; thank u ebay for noticing #im just. fascinated by this gendered keychain categorization #wouldnt want to buy a womens keychain am i right fellow dudes #goshdarn gender problems