#gonna be honest also it’s not very proof read I’m struggling this morning

[moominpopzz]

2nd demonkicks fic where Ashe cries yahoo :3

This is the one with that clip I posted awhile ago that I didn’t remember writing at all

@danieldeepwebs :DD

#one day I’ll write just fluff ab them again #one day I’ll give Ashe a break #not today tho #and probably not tmrw either #gonna be honest also it’s not very proof read I’m struggling this morning #jrwi #jrwi pd #prime defenders #ashe winters #dakota cole #demonkicks #jrwi prime defenders #Moomins writing<3

[pitaparka]

sex headcanons

note — NSFW. whelp. if anyone wanted proof of me being clinically insane, this is what you could show them. not only has all of my free time been devoted to watching anything with pedro pascal in it, this is also what i think about while watching these anythings. i know there are people out there who have loved him for longer and are even more obsessed than i, so i figured i would share my personal headcanons for the PPCU (pedro pascal cinematic universe, duh). big love for any fans of pedrito - nat

MANDO

- VIRGIN with a capital V

- did you see how he reacted when grogu touched his face? this man has not been touched since he was a child

- he grew up with the mandalorians but he was exposed to suggestive behaviors because, helloooo, bounty hunter

- you have to coax him into it, but it doesn't take much, since he plans on keeping you around long term

- plus, you're so good with the kid

- you provide him a safe space to explore both himself and also your body and he has no idea how lucky he is for it

- doesn't make very much noise, but loves to listen to you

- he won't last long, he’s so sensitive from years of going untouched, but this man's recovery time???

- unparalleled

- he also has the dick of a space porn star and doesn't know it

- but seriously, rice purity score is NOT lower than 90, and most of the boxes he checks are "running-from-the-police" related

- he really wants to be held and have someone run their hands through his hair and kiss his neck and hold his hands is that too much to ask???

EZRA

- his words are where he gets you

- who knew dirty talk could sound so elegant??? and poetic??

- what a tease he is, too

- he pants so heavily right in your ear holy sweet lord

- and loves to laugh during sex

- he doesn't take himself super seriously unless he gets super into it, which has been known to happen from time to time

- safe words have been used between you two, which there's no shame in, but he's so good to you afterward

- he loves aftercare, and being gentle and sweet after a rough session

- asks you what you want and makes you beg for it

- makes you feel like you're in control but really, he's the one in control

- will make you cum before he does

- kinky kinky boy, almost always willing to try what you want him to

- loves to pin you down, but after he loses his arm it becomes a bit harder, so he settles for holding you flush against his chest as you squirm in his strong grip

FRANKIE

- a little soft spoken, but will whisper in your ear in public because he knows it gets you riled up

- will stare you down from across the room with bedroom eyes

- he's got that pilot's precision if you know what i mean aha

- he's honest with you about what he likes and has no qualms about telling you up front

- gives off switch energy, but you're gonna have to really make it worth his while if you want to fuck him

- a very gentle touch, which he would love to be reciprocated

- he aches from years in the service, his back, his knees, his shoulders

- would probably drop dead if you gave him a massage as foreplay

WHISKEY

- what an arrogant piece of shit

- "gorgeous, darlin', sweetheart, sugar"

- he will butter you up like a roll on thanksgiving goddamn

- so straightforward, and very up in your face, but it got you to sleep with him the first time you met him, so you can't say it doesn't work

- not the best with his fingers, but dear lord that tongue does wonders when he's not talking

- is a man on a mission to please you

- will spend an absurd amount of time between your thighs, and loves to feel you try to push him away when you get oversensitive

- loves it when you get feisty

- pull his hair, bite down a little harder than usual, push him down onto the bed or forcefully unbuckle his pants and this man will be putty in your hands

- is SO LOUD, and expects the same from you

- doesn't understand that because you're not screaming to the heavens doesn't mean he's doing a bad job

- associates volume with pleasure which isn't always the case

- that's something you'll have to work on with him, but he's a patient man

JAVIER PEÑA

- keeps condoms and lube on hand at almost all times

- ohhhh boy is this man willing to go at it wherever, whenever, you name it

- will fuck you until he sweats, and keeps going afterward

- and will definitely do you right

- he fucks to feel in control, so good luck trying to take control with this one

- almost tries to distance himself from you at first, but really it scares him that he cares so much

- there's just something about orgasming at the same time as you that just makes his whole week, and your hole weak (ahaha)

- likes to fuck you from behind and fuck you roughly, hands both occupied at the same time, mouth on you, and dick inside you

- very hands on, but can be sweet afterward

- this man kisses like no other you've ever kissed before, he leaves you breathless

MARCUS MORENO

- leads by example wink wink

- will show you what he wants done to him, and is pretty vanilla, but in a good way

- is big on foreplay and also aftercare, probably one of the sweeter ones on the list

- he's almost methodical in his sex, very routine, but willing to deviate for you

- gentle, but deep, languid strokes

- thinks he's quieter than he actually is

- always has a lot on his mind, so he really appreciates it when you can ease some of his tension

- secretly was really experimental in college

- very attentive to your needs and likes to tease

- morning sex is his thing. when he gets home from a long day, he wants to eat and relax and sleep. but in the morning? before anyone is up and before breakfast is even being considered, he likes to wake you up with sweet bruises and roaming hands

MARCUS PIKE

- marcus is the type of man to respect your boundaries fully, keep copies of toys he knows you like at his house, and surprise you at work with flowers and a dirty quickie in the bathroom because you've wanted to try it so badly

- a more traditional way of thinking on sex, and semi-reluctant to do anything involving his ass, but will try it for you if you really want him to

- a very quick learner, this one, and incredibly intuitive

- what he lacks in skill he makes up for in enthusiasm

- it's almost like he can read your mind, when he uses just the right amount of pressure and uses just the right motion to make you cum for him

- you have no idea how anyone could give this up, let alone break his heart

- his favorite thing is having you ride him, your face buried in his neck as you grind your hips down as he whispers praise in your ear

- marcus isn't super kinky, but i'm sure you can convince him to try something new every once in a while

MAX PHILLIPS

- OFFICE. DESK. SEX.

- "a private word with you in my office, please."

- so very seductive. the hand on the small of your back gets you going and he knows it, but he'll have to be more subtle if he wants to keep you

- another one who will butter you up to get you to sleep with him. he's very obvious about it, so it may or may not work first time. regardless he's up for a challenge

- pays so much attention to your neck. you will have to invest in many turtlenecks if you want to be with max

- big on eye contact, except for the exception of fucking you senseless over his desk

- obviously, a vampire, so he's absolutely magic between your thighs

- is very personable with everyone else, mainly because he's a business major, but he LOVES to make you jealous, this man LIVES off of it

- will one hundred percent expect you to be putty in his arms immediately, and treats it as a competition if you aren't

- he WILL take it personally and will make it a personal goal of his to get you to like him and want to fuck him without using his powers

- a game of cat and mouse

- does not care at all about being loud in the workplace, but he likes to see you struggle to keep quiet, even if everyone else can hear you anyway

MAXWELL LORD

- has suCH a praise kink wow

- his favorite thing is to hear you moan and tell him he’s doing a good job

- a little more vanilla than his counterparts but does like to take control and be a little rough

- a switch sometimes, falls into ruts where he just wants someone to take care of him

- but he WILL NOT ASK FOR IT. his pride won't let him

- at first, he’s not as mindful of you as you’d like him to be

- his sex is fast and unpleasant with hands everywhere and mouths and teeth and touch

- so you sit him down, and show him what you like. very slow and sensual

- you take your time with him, and he eventually starts to do the same with you

OBERYN MARTELL

- remember din's rice purity score? yeah, oberyn's is maybe ten. which is pushing it

- when you meet him, he knows what he likes, and is very particular about it

- he's done his fair share of experimenting, but he's willing to try new things, if there's anything new to be tried

- takes control inside and outside the bedroom

- not afraid to show you your place

- he's the kinky one in the relationship, and he will let you explore his body all you want

- if he doesn't like it he will kindly redirect you, his hands on yours, stroking and tugging and redirecting pressure and placement so that you learn his body in and out

- loves to watch you with his girls and boys. what an exhibitionist this man is

- for most people, they have to choose between quantity or quality in their sex lives. oberyn martell is not most people

- he is a prince, and will not let you forget it, but likes it when you talk back and he has to punish you

PERO TOVAR

- the roughest one on the list, but not the kinkiest

- sex to him when he's at his worst is just a way for him to feel good and relieve stress

- when he's at his best, it's a way for him to make you scream his name

- very possessive about what's his, and if he has to show it in front of everyone else for them to know that he will do it

- this man fucks like a rabbit. how does he find the time??? nobody knows

- his libido is so high. you have no idea how he isn't absolutely spent at the end of a long day of fighting and training and wandering, but he'll fuck you where you lay if you let him and you're too tired to move

- once you accidentally walked in on him stroking himself, and the AUDACITY OF HIM

- he smirked, groaned, and asked you to help him out

- who could resist a man like that

#writing #smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #star wars #prospect #the kingsman #wonder woman #ww84 #ww84 spoilers #din djarin x reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #triple frontier #frankie morales x reader #jack daniels x reader #whiskey headcanons #narcos #javier peña x reader #marcus moreno x reader #marcus pike x reader #we could be heroes #the mentalist #maxwell lord x reader #headcanons #pedro pascal character headcanons #oberyn martell x reader #pero tovar x reader #game of thrones

[afishcalledfatin]

kítrinos - Qian Kun

kitrinos( κίτρινος)  - yellow

pairings: professor!Kun x fem student reader

summary:  meeting Cyan was either a horrible mistake or a blessing in disguise. In a world where soulmates exist, you were starting to believe that yours didn't exist. Not until, you picked yellow from Cyan's book of colours which transported you to another reality where your soulmate's feelings are shown on you when you share the same emotion. Sharing a rare mark made things easier but theres a catch, both of you won't know until the very last moment. What will happen then?

genre: studentxteacher, fluff, angst

warnings: mentions of death, losing eyesight, arguments, swearing

A/N: Hello lovelies! this is for the colours collab made by @neo-cult-ure i’d like to thank everyone for supporting us and i’d also like to thank the other writers for being so lovely and amazing and just being a great bunch of people. also want to thank @fairielightsss​ for proof reading this. to be honest, this isnt greatly written. there will be many  mistakes so bare with me. so i hope i dont offend anyone and i apologise for any mistakes.

P.S: I recommend listening to this which will give you a good feel on the story. i also recommend watching Howl’s Moving Castle to understand some of the references, but if you haven’t then its okay!

As the sky fades into the night sky, your eyelids begin to droop and the attention towards the song had started to slowly make your head spin. The need to finish practising this piece kept you awake in fear of getting into big trouble with your lecturers. You slap your face in an attempt to make yourself stay awake before preparing to play the piano.

"Are you going to continue torturing yourself or should we head back?" Your best friend, Renjun said while walking into the music studio. You chuckled, "I'm almost done. Wanna wait for me?" You asked. He nodded as he sat on the edge of a table making himself comfortable. 

You’ve been practising a song from one of your favourite movies, Howl's Moving Castle but something didn't feel right. Renjun took note that you were taking longer than usual.

"How come you're struggling so much with this song?" Renjun asked. "I'm not saying this in a mean way but I've seen you play,” he said cautiously, not wanting to hurt you with his words. “This song should be easy compared to what you’re used to." He said with a tilt of his head, confusion hinted on his features.

You shrugged while deep in thought, "I know,” you took a deep breath, collecting your thoughts. “I can't explain it but it feels like this piece is missing something." you finally explained. 

He nodded at your words. He didn’t say anything more but you knew he wanted to ask more. You began playing the first few notes before Renjun gasped making you falter in your playing, "What if you were Sophie in your past life?” he said with wide eyes, “Better yet, what if you were the Witch of the Waste?" You stared at him with wide eyes holding confusion. "Really, Renjun?" You narrowed your eyes, not liking the way he was messing around.

"Just kidding." he laughed with eyes holding mischief. You broke down your façade and laughed. Shaking your head, you ended the song frustratedly.

"That's it, I'm continuing tomorrow." You sighed and got up, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

"Jaemin asked if you wanted to a sleepover?" You nodded excitedly and Renjun cheered as both of you walked out.

Throughout the walk back, you tried to wrap your brain mind around the question, "Why did that song feel different?" you mumbled to yourself. Beside you, Renjun was questioning your unusually quiet behaviour.

When you were offered to play for the school's annual dinner, you were completely overwhelmed and honoured. They gave you a selection of songs but this song attracted you the most.

Why?

The walk was eerie and quiet, you could feel the cold and sharp air pricking at your skin. Renjun stood close to you when you suddenly heard footsteps behind you. 

You turned around and you were greeted by an old lady. You real ed it was a lady named Cyan from when you both met earlier today. She was a funny looking lady who showed you her book of colours. She told you to pick one and you chose yellow. She also mentioned something about a soulmate but you weren't really paying attention.

"Cyan?" You called. The footsteps quickened. 

"What are you-" 

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Everything will make sense soon." She said hurriedly, cutting you off.

"What do you mean?" She smiled and pulled out a pouch from her pocket, blowing a yellow powder onto you. You waved your hands around to try and stop her while Renjun was beside screaming at the old lady but to no avail, the powder dusted your figure. Next thing you knew, everything went black. 

You drummed your fingers across the table, waiting for Jaemin and Renjun to arrive. 

You were the only one in the studio and the silence was driving you mad. With a loud sigh and you reached in and grabbed a chocolate bar from your backpack, unwrapping it. Just as you were going to eat it, the door opened. 

Low and behold it was your favourite lecturer, Professor Qian or more casually known as Kun. It depends on when you're talking to him. Walking to his table and he places his stuff down before realising you were in the studio. 

"I'm hurt Y/N." He starts. You grinned, leaning forward, "Why is that, Kun?" 

"Professor Qian in class, missy." He points.

You rolled your eyes and snorted. "Okay, why are you hurt, Professor Qian?" You repeated. 

"Well, I come in and the first thing I see is your feet on the table and you’re eating a chocolate bar. And you didn't even bother asking if I wanted some." He wipes a fake tear. 

You laughed and jogged to his table, "Aha, but the thing is, sir," you showed the extra bar you brought for him, "I already brought an extra for you." You passed it to him. He chuckled, "Well, won't you look at that. I knew I chose the right favourite student." 

You snorted, "The only reason I'm your favourite student is that I'm the only one playing the piano in this class." You stated. “And secondly if I’m not mistaken Professor Qian,” you continued, eyes holding mischief, “Didn’t you say Jisung was your favourite student last week? And Sara about two days ago?” you hummed, a hand on your chin with a pondering look on your face.

He laughed and shook his head, "I'm guilty. I love all of you equally." He raised both his hands defensively. "Ah, I wanna ask you a question." He walked over to the other side of the table, sitting on the edge of it while facing you. 

"How would you feel about playing with me?" He suddenly said. You raised a brow.

"Wow, Sir, I didn't know you were that adventurous." You wiggled your brows. Kun furrowed his brows, "What are you- OH MY GOD Y/N NO, NOT LIKE THAT." he said embarrassedly, hiding his face in his hands. You burst out into laughter, clutching your stomach as you saw your teacher getting flustered. 

"Geez, Y/N, go clean that brain of yours." He rubbed his temples. You punched his shoulder lightly, sitting next to him on the table. 

"Well, you should've worded it better. It's not every day you hear your professor asking to play with him. Anyways, what did you mean by that?" You asked him. 

"I meant doing a duet performance with me during the annual dinner." He explained. 

"Ahh, I see. What song are we talking about though?" You turned to him.

He rolled up his sleeves and crossed his arms, "I was thinking Merry Go Round Of Life? Y'know the one from Howl's Moving Castle." He sat on the edge of the table.

"I'd love to do it but you could easily do that song alone. Why do you need me?" You asked, genuinely confused. You've seen how Kun plays and it's absolutely amazing. It doesn't make sense why he would need you. 

He scratched the back of his neck, "Well, it is a dinner with both the lecturers and students. I thought it would be cool to have us both play. Plus, imagine the power of both of us playing." He bumped your shoulder with his.

"Are you complimenting my skills?" You asked shock painted on your face. He looked quite taken aback, "Y/N, I'm pretty sure I've made it clear that I'm very impressed with your skills since day one." 

Ah, first class, you remembered when Kun walked in and he did an evaluation test on all of you. 

As both of you walked to class, you were greeted by a squeal. "Renjun! Y/N!" You smiled and ran to Jaemin, giving him a hug.

"How were holidays, babe?" Hewereapped an arm around both of your shoulders. 

"It was nice to go back home, my parents kept pestering us on our soulmates though," Renjun informed. 

"Have you found yours yet?" You asked Jaemin. He smiled softly, looking at you shyly as he nodded slowly. 

You squealed and began jumping with him. "Congratulations, honey!" You hugged him tightly.

"What's she like?" Renjun asked.

"She's so… perfect." he sighed dreamily. You and Renjun began poking fun at him and teasing him.

“What did it feel like?” you asked curiously.

“Not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch when the mark burnt off but after that everything was amazing,” he explained as you sat in between the two of them. 

"What was your colour?" You asked. 

"It was grey," he said proudly. Renjun snorted, "What were both of you confused about?" he said shaking his head. 

"Well, I was confused about what to order and she was confused about a math question. We suddenly felt the mark stinging and I immediately looked around and there she was, all cute and blushing." He said dreamily.

The door opened and a chill pricked at your skin. You turned around to see an unknown man walking in. You went to sit down with your friends. "I think he's the new lecturer," Jaemin whispered to you. 

"Good morning, everyone. You may call me Professor Qian, I'll be teaching you from now on. So let's start shall we?" He said. 

You heard the chatter of the girls behind you, "oh, Woah, he's really handsome" You grinned, he really was.

He wore a blue button-down shirt with a pair of brown slacks. His brown locks gelled back nicely. Kun The professor looked around the studio and his nerves calmed down, everyone seemed quite friendly. This was his first time teaching and he worried he would make a bad impression. 

"According to Madam Rowena, your previous lecturer, she informed me to do an evaluation test first so that I'll know what level you're all at but I'm pretty sure you're all very advanced, let's start with that." He took out a list from his bag, and he began to read out the names of your classmates.

Everyone had to play a song on their respective instrument. You took note of your classmates looking nervous, trying their best not to mess up.

"Alright, thank you, Ms Seo. Now, Ms Y/L/N?" He looked around.

You raised your hand and walked towards the piano. 

"Are you the only pianist?" He suddenly asked you. 

"Yes, I am." You said nervously. He nodded, signalling for you to proceed. He continued reading the list, pushing his glasses to sit comfortably on the bridge of his nose. You breathed in, immediately pressing the right keys to Victor’s solo in the Corpse Bride. 

His eyes perked up as he watched closely. He watched as you focused on the song and your fingers moved with grace. He could feel the passion wafting off of you as you played. The beautiful tune resonating around the room. 

Your classmates watched in awe, they've always enjoyed watching you play. You were the best in the class after all. To everyone, this was a sweet melody that you knew, but it meant so much more than that. 

It was a painful memory.

As you hit the last note, your breathing turned rapid. Everything was quiet before everyone began clapping and cheering. 

"Thank you, Ms Y/L/N. You may return to your seat." He smiled softly. You nod and return to your seat. 

"You surprised him, Y/N," Jaemin whispered as both of you watched Renjun play his flute. 

"What do you mean?" You asked quietly. 

"Throughout the entire evaluation, he hasn't looked up. Except for when you began playing." he nudged you with his elbow. 

"Sure, Jaem. Sure." You rolled your eyes. 

"So, do you wanna do it?" He asked. You thought about it again. Your mind weighing the pros and cons before coming to a conclusion, "Sure, plus I get to annoy you even more now." You teased as you walked over to your seat. 

"Oh god please protect me from this child." He said out loud.

You were going to counter when Jaemin and Renjun came in, sandwiches in their hands. 

"Professor Qian~" Jaemin bowed. "Good morning!" He said cutely. 

"Morning, Jaemin, Renjun." He smiled back. Jaemin and Renjun walked up to your usual seats, plopping beside you.

"What were both of you doing alone, huh?" Renjun asked. 

"Talking?" You replied. 

Jaemin snorted, "Yeah, and I have three legs." He added. You scowled and pinched his arm causing him to yelp. Soon, the class began to fill up and Kun started teaching.

As class ended, you walked up to Kun and sat on the edge of his table. "So, what day are we practising?" You asked. Kun turned around at the sound of your voice, he loosened his tie and slid his hands into his pockets. 

"It's up to you, kiddo. The dinner is on the 25th." He said nonchalantly. Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open. "Wait, 25th?" You stuttered. He nodded. "That's not too far away!" You squeaked. 

Kun shrugged, "I've seen you master a new song in three days. This is easy for you." He claimed. 

"But Kun, this is a performance in front of many people. Not just the class. Plus, I'm going to be playing with you, how are you so sure I'll be able to keep up with you?" You whined. 

Kun walked closer to you and patted your head, "You'll be fine and you'll do so amazing. Like usual." He reassured you. Your cheeks warmed, "thanks, Kun." You picked at some dust off your sweater. 

"I'll tell you what, we'll practise twice a week. The duration is up to you. We can do it for 20 minutes or 2 hours. I'm okay with anything." You pouted, "Kun, that's not fair on you. I'm pretty sure you're busy as well." 

"Y/N, I'm a single male with a cat and several assignments to check. Do I look like I have plans soon?" He joked. You laughed lightly, "How are the guys and Louis, by the way?" You asked.

"They're great. Xuxi recently adopted a puppy named Bella so the house is a bit noisier than usual." He said. You giggled, "Must be fun." 

“You should visit someday. The boys really miss you,” he said. 

“Sure. how about this Friday?” you asked. He nodded, “Should be fine. Bring Jaemin and Renjun too if you’d like.” 

“I’ll inform them then.” you smiled. 

 You threw your bag over your shoulder, “So, Wednesday?” 

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest, “Yeah. Want me to bring snacks for you?”

You placed a hand over your heart, “You know me so well. Yes please.” you nodded cutely.

He shook his head, “I’ll see you then, yeah?” he waved. You skipped out of the class, nearly smacking face-first into the door.

"Oops…" you nervously turned and ran out. 

Kun chuckled, shaking his head. "Clumsy girl." He muttered. 

"Nana! Injunnie!" You ran, wrapping your arms around their necks. 

"Wanna follow me to Professor Qian's house this Friday? They’ve recently gotten a puppy." You said. They immediately nodded their heads at your suggestion, "sounds great! We'll bring food as well." Jaemin added.

The three of you hung out for lunch, chatting about any new events that seem to catch your ears. "Oh, what were you and Professor Qian talking about?" Renjun sipped on his hot chocolate.

You grinned, "he asked me to perform with him during the dinner." You beamed.

The two boys clapped excitedly, "That's so cool, Y/N!" They both gave you a side hug.

After talking a bit, Jaemin sighed. "I can't believe we're graduating soon." He said sadly.

"I know right? A few more exams and,” you paused, “we're out." It dawned on you that you wouldn't be able to see them all time like usual. You began tearing up at the thought, "Guys,” you said softly, grabbing both the males’ attention, “Promise me we won't drift apart." You sniffled. 

Renjun and Jaemin pouted, "Oh baby." Renjun got out of his seat to hug you. Jaemin too soon after.

"We promise. Also, we'll still meet up as much as we can. I don't care if it's once a week or month, I just need to see you guys." Jaemin tugged at his sweater sleeves. Before you could finish your lunch, the three of you were a sobbing mess. You loved the two of them so much, they were your best friends. 

You got off your motorbike and sighed before turning the doorknob. You opened the door only to be graced with the familiar sound of to Italian Opera music and the smell of brownies. You tried to sneak upstairs, avoiding getting called.

"Y/N, is that you?" The soft voice asked. You turned slowly, "Yeah, it's me." You stood in the middle of the stairs.

You saw your stepmother walk out the kitchen, cocoa powder on her apron and some flour on her cheek. 

"How was your day, dear?" She asked. You shrugged, "It was okay, I guess." 

Silence. This was your routine every day for two years. She'd ask how your day was and you'd stand awkwardly. 

"I'm gonna head upstairs. I'm tired." You said stuttering between your words, not looking at her.

"Oh, uh yes. Well, there's some brownies on the oven if you'd want me to bring some up?" You shook your head, "It's okay. I'll get them myself." you said politely. Before she could reply you walked into your room, closing the door behind you. 

Your mom passed away when you turned 7, so all that was left was you and your dad. For a very long time. Even then, you remember him not really being around for most of your childhood. You were brought up by your grandmother. Though whenever your dad left for business trips, he would never fail to always bring back a gift for you.

However, you didn’t expect him to bring back a woman on your 20th birthday. Anyways, Not wanting to stay for long, so you called Jaemin and asked if it was okay to sleep over and he agreed.

You walked down the stairs, peeking into the kitchen and grabbing a brownie. You saw her sitting in the living room and you’d thought it would be best to just inform her. She noticed your presence and immediately straightened up.

“Uh, I’m gonna sleep over at Jaemin’s.” you awkwardly scuff your feet against the hardwood floor.

She nodded, “Alright then, stay safe.” she smiled. “Your father will be coming back tomorrow afternoon, by the way.” 

You nodded, “Ah, okay. Thanks for informing me.” you scratch the back of your neck. 

“No problem, Y/N.” she replied.

You head out, starting your motorbike and riding it away from your house. It’s not like you hated her, it’s just hard to accept someone. It doesn’t help that Dad is barely home so things get even more awkward when it’s just the two of you.

Your mom wasn’t there to help you out when you got your first period or for you to talk to when you had your first crush on a boy. The only person who you could talk to about these things was your grandmother who had sadly passed away a year ago. Sometimes, you wish you called her more often to check up on her. 

A tear trickled down your cheek, you sighed. “I miss you so much,” you whispered. 

Upon arriving at your best friends house, you parked your motorbike and knocked on the door.

“Coming!” you heard Renjun running to the door. “Hello again~” Renjun leaned on the door. 

“Hey boo.” you poked his stomach and walked in. “So, what are we going to do tonight?” You asked.

“I would’ve wanted to say drinks but we’re broke so pizza and movies sound good?” Jaemin pointed to the mountain of pillows and boxes of pizza. “It’s perfect.” you beamed.

You changed into the pyjamas you brought and settled into the pillow fort. 

“What are we watching?” you asked. Renjun shrugged, “Nana wanted to watch a rom-com.”

Jaemin came crashing down into the pile of pillows. “We’re watching Sensei Kunshu.” he said excitedly, n,t hesitating to press play.

“What’s it about?” you pulled the blanket over your body as you took a slice of pizza. 

“It’s about a girl who falls in love with her teacher.” Jaemin chomped onto a breadstick.

Thirty minutes in and you can’t help but hide behind the blankets, you loved the movie so far but you had to admit, you got second-hand embarrassment watching the movie.

“AYUHA, PLEASE,” Renjun screamed at the main character along with some incoherent noises. Frustration dripping from his words.

“I need to pee,” you said as you ran towards the toilet. 

As you were walking out, you suddenly felt a buzz, it was Kun. you opened the message to see a document he sent.

“These are the notes for the song! You can try playing it first :)”

You smiled and quickly typed back a response,

Thanks, Kun! I’ll see you soon.”

“What are you smiling about?” Renjun asked he sipped on his drink. “Kun sent me the sheet music for the song we’re going to perform.”

“Ahh, what a fitting movie~,” Jaemin said in a sing-song voice as he wiggled his brows. Your brows knitted, “What?”

Renjun smirked, “You and Professor Qian?” you gasped and plopped in between them. 

“No! he’s like an older brother, friend kinda thing.” you tried to explain.

“I like how that was your reason and not simply because he’s our teacher.” Jaemin giggled.

You pinch his arm lightly, “Shut up.” you pout.

“It’s true though, Y/N. everyone in the class agrees.”

“EXCUSE ME, WHAT?” you shrieked. 

“Let's put it like this, you guys act as if you’ve been engaged for two years and you live in a studio apartment along with your two cats and you travel around the world to perform at concerts,” Renjun stated.

Jaemin began clapping, “Bravo, my boy, bravo.” he pointed “That’s basically how everyone sees you guys.” he drank his cola. “Also, you can’t deny the fact that he has a soft spot for you. He’s already a genuinely nice guy but when it comes to you, it’s on another level. This performance is basically feeding us and our classmates with good content.”

You sat there and thought about it. Yes, you were much closer to Kun then others but you didn’t know your classmates shipped the two of you.

“Whatever, it’s not gonna happen anyways,” you said whilst shaking your head, silencing the both of them. “Plus, we both have our own soulmates.” you pointed out as you reached out and grabbed a slice of pizza.

Renjun was going to argue until he heard your ringtone. 

It was your stepmom. 

Your brows furrowed, “Hello?” you started.

“Hey, Y/N, I know you’re at your friends’ house but you might need to come back soon. By tomorrow morning.”

Your brows knitted, Renjun and Jaemin sat next to you, wondering and waiting on you to tell them what’s going on.

“What? Why?” you asked, a tad bit irritated. 

“Your father is arriving home sooner than expected.” you groaned internally, “How soon?” you asked.

“I think around 8 in the morning?” you rubbed your face, 

“I’ll come back now.” you hung up and slammed your body back onto the pillows.

“Looks like I have to head out, fellas.” you got up and helped them clean up.

“We’re really sorry, Y/N,” they said in unison. You waved them off as you stuffed the last breadstick into your mouth, “It’s okay, guys. Plus, my dad probably wanted to ‘surprise’ us.” you muffled.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, woman.” Jaemin bumped you with his hip.

“Sorry.” you giggle.

After cleaning up, you said goodbye and headed back home.

You carefully got upstairs, she was probably asleep so you didn’t want to wake her up.

You opened the door and plopped onto your bed, turning off the lights and falling fast asleep.

You heard laughter and chatter downstairs as you woke up. You stretched your tired limbs and went down. Your dad was hugging your stepmom and they were just chatting about something.

“Y/N!” he called. You walked down the stairs and greeted him. “Hi, dad.” 

He smiled and immediately went for his bag. “Here you go, I got you this.” 

Like usual, he’ll hand you the gift before asking anything.

In his hand was a black box with a white ribbon on it. You opened it and smiled, “Thank you.” 

“No problem, kiddo. Now, what’s for breakfast?” he turned to your stepmom and held his stomach. They both walked to the kitchen, your father’s hand wrapped around her waist.

In the box was a beautiful, sapphire necklace. You closed the box and walked to the kitchen where your dad was already eating.

She prepared a plate for you, placing it next to your dad. 

You sat down and began eating at the hearty breakfast she prepared. 

"So, how's school?" He starts. You swallow and face him, "everything's going well, my exams are in a few weeks and then I'll be performing at the annual dinner." 

“Wow, really? That’s very exciting!” Lilian praised.

"That's great honey." He says, unimpressed as he checks his phone. 

"Do you have a boyfriend yet?" He suddenly asked. You choked on your toast, drinking a bit of water to ease your throat. 

"Uh, no." you shook your head, “I’ve been really busy so… yeah.”

“When you do, make sure you bring him for dinner.” he points at you with his fork.

It sucked how you couldn’t talk to your dad like old times. It’s not that you didn’t want to but it seemed like he only cared about work and making sure your grades are absolute perfection.

“How about that Jaemin boy? Or Renjun? They’re from very good families.” he asked. Your stepmom walked behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders, “Sweetie, they’re her friends. Also, you should always wait for your soulmate when the time comes.”

You’re lost for words and you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.

“Uh, I have to get ready for class.” you shuffled out of your seat. 

When you entered your room, you leaned against the door and let out a long sigh. 

It's like I don't know you anymore...

Kun sat at the counter, stirring his coffee. 

I hope the song works this time, he thought.

Kun furiously pressed at the keys, getting agitated by the silly mistakes he seemed to have made. He was going to reach the end but he accidentally pressed a different note, causing him to groan. 

"What's up with you?" Sicheng walked towards his roommate. "You've been at it for 3 hours now." He leaned against Kun's piano in his room. 

"Sorry, must've been really noisy huh?" He asked Sicheng apologetically. Sicheng waved him off, "Pft, it's okay. They're much noisier downstairs." 

They laughed a little before Sicheng sat next to him. "What seems to be the problem?" He asked Kun. 

Kun sighs, "I know this might sound weird but for some reason, this song doesn't feel… complete to me? I don't know how to explain it but it feels like I'm just pressing notes rather than actually feeling the song. I can’t seem to play it at all." 

Sicheng's brows knitted, "Have you tried playing with someone?" Sicheng asked. 

Kun nodded, "I played it with Johnny, Taeil, Doyoung and all those tries failed as well. I don't know who else to ask." He rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Okay, c'mon let's try." Kun excitedly nodded at Sicheng's suggestion. Maybe he just needed someone he was a lot closer to. 

The song started out smoothly, like usual but then suddenly, both of them played the wrong key. 

"Huh…" Sicheng placed his hands on his hips. 

"Exactly. It's always there." Kun got up and sat on his bed. 

"Maybe… change the song?" Sicheng suggested. Kun shook his head defiantly, "No, there's something about this song and I can't put my finger on it. It's stressing me out. I could easily play that… I just don't know why I can't right now." He ran his fingers through his brown locks. 

Sicheng leaned against the piano, "How about playing with your students?" He asked.

"Y/N is the only one who plays the piano right?" He pointed out. "Why don't you try with her?" He smiled. 

"Actually… that's not a bad idea." He stood up and paced around the room. 

"I'm going to ask her. If the song still fails, I'll change the song." 

"Kun? KUN!" he heard the loudest clap ringing in his ears. He turned and saw Yukhei who was pressing Bella to his chest, staring at him worriedly.

"Oh, hey Xuxi. What's up?" He asked, still quite dazed. 

"Uh, you're gonna be late for your class, again." He pointed to the clock on the wall. 

Kun's eyes widened, he ran out the kitchen, suitcase and keys in hand.

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT." he repeated as he started his car. 

"Kun, your coffee!" Yukhei stood by the doorway with the mug in hand. 

Kun waved him off, "You can have it, man." He yelled before speeding off. 

Kun ran, making sure he wasn't too late. He kept checking his watch over and over until he bumped into another body.

"Oomph!" The voice squeaked. He turned around and saw Y/N on the floor, rubbing her back.

"Oh thank god it's just you." He breathed. 

You scoff, "Are you late, again?" You got up, feeling a bit sore from landing on your butt. "Also, what's that supposed to mean?" You poked at his chest. 

"Yes, and it means I won't be awkwardly apologising to some random student I've never met before." He brushed the dust off his pants. "So, I'm sorry and I'll buy you snacks. See you later, byeee!" He said as he ran off to his class. 

You shook your head, smiling a little. 

"Silly professor." 

Your music history class had ended and you stretched your stiff limbs. 

"I love music history but Miss Leanne makes it so… miserable." Renjun rubbed his sleepy eyes. 

You snicker, "same. I'm pretty sure I nearly dozed off twice." You yawn. 

"Y/N, are you coming over later?" Jaemin asked. You shook your head, "I don't think so, bubs. I have practice with Professor Qian and my dad is home so he probably wants to 'spend time' together." You rolled your eyes.

Jaemin pats your back, "He's still at it, huh?" 

You nod angrily, "he always complains how I never want to spend time with them but when we do, he's always on his phone leaving me and my stepmom to talk." You rant. 

"But you don't talk to your stepmom?" Renjun pointed out.

"Exactly! Do you know how awkward it was? Also, this morning he asked me if I had a boyfriend and told me to date either one of you." 

Their eyes widened, "Sweetie, I love you but I'm taken." Jaemin pointed at where his mark once was. 

"Yeah, I love you too but you're like a sister to me." Renjun shrugged. "I can't imagine dating you." He admitted. 

"THANK YOU! Now, tell my dad that." You groaned.

You checked your wristwatch and it was almost time for practice. You pat both of their shoulders, "I've got practice in a few minutes. Wanna call later?" You asked. 

They nodded, "Is it okay if Minseo joins? She's visiting us." Jaemin asked. 

You nodded, "of course! Also, tell her I'm really sorry for not being able to meet her properly, I swear after graduation both of us are gonna go on dates without you." You winked. 

Jaemin looked incredibly offended, "It's bad enough that both of you gossip about everything. Now, this. I feel so betrayed, my best friend and girlfriend." He grasped his chest, leaning onto Renjun.

"There, there, bud. You have me." Renjun patted his shoulder.

You laughed, walking towards the opposite direction, "I'll talk to you guys later!" You waved and jogged towards the studio. 

Walking into the studio, you saw Kun with his eyes shut and earphones in, on his chair with his feet propped on the table. 

You giggle softly, walking up towards him and tapping him lightly. 

"Professor Qian?" surprisingly, your light tap caused him to wake up in shock.

"Fuck!" He yelled right before falling off his chair. You panicked and quickly helped him up. 

"Jeez Y/N, you gave me a heart attack." He uttered. 

"Sorry about that." You grinned mischievously. You noticed his face and sluggish movements. "Are you okay? You don't look so well." You commented. 

He smiled, "I'm fine. I just haven't had any coffee today so I'm a bit sleepier than usual." Your mouth formed an 'o' until you remembered you had a thermos of coffee. 

You pulled out the metal thermos and poured some into the cup. You handed it to him, "Here! I usually give this to Jaemin and Renjun to drink but it won't hurt if you had some." You smiled. 

He chuckled, "Thank you, Y/N." He took the small cup and sipped on the warm liquid. 

"Ah, just what I needed." A few more sips and he looked a bit more energetic. 

"Are you ready for practice?" He asked you. You nod excitedly, "Sir, yes sir!" You salute. 

Both of you shared a laugh before heading to the grand piano. 

You took out the sheet music you printed earlier and arranged it on the music rack. 

"Have you played the song yet?" He asked. You shook your head, "Nope, sorry." You apologised. He bumped his shoulder with yours, "It's okay." 

Truthfully, Kun was nervous. He really wanted to play this piece. Why? He had no clue. It just felt right. 

He silently prayed it would finally work. 

You looked over the notes a few times, processing each bar and note. 

"Ready?" He asked. You nod, your eyes not tearing away from the sheet music. 

He began playing first and eventually you followed along. 

So far so good. He thought

The song began to form a sweet and beautiful melody that resonated around the room. Both hands working together in harmony. 

It was reaching the part where Kun would always fail but both of you went through it swiftly, not a mistake in sight. Kun's eyes widened as he couldn't hide his wide smile. 

Y/N was too focused on the song to realise her partner's reaction. As the song came to an end, both bodies began breathing heavily, as if they were dancing together. 

Kun turned to you with a full-blown smile. "I don't think we'll need that much practice. That was incredible!" He cheered. 

You laughed at your professor's cute reaction. "Surprisingly, yes. We did quite well for a first try." You agreed. 

Kun couldn't believe it. All this time, he was struggling to play this song alone or with someone else when really all he needed was you. 

"This calls for a celebration!" He clapped. He ran out of the studio, stopping by the door "Wait here!" He said excitedly. 

You giggled as you watched him run off somewhere. You sat in the studio, looking around and realising that soon, you won't be coming here anymore. 

You won't be having music evaluations all the time, or you won't get to play together as a class anymore.

And most importantly, you won't get to see Kun anymore. 

Your heart suddenly clenched at the sudden thought, you placed a hand on your chest and rubbed it to ease the tight feeling. 

Although Kun was your professor, he has always been more to you. 

An older brother? A friend? A guardian angel?

He would always listen to whatever you had to talk about, he basically knew everything about you except for your family situation. 

"Snacks for my prized student!" He ran in, bags of different kinds of snacks in hand. 

You let out a loud laugh, watching as he ran in. 

He sat down on the floor and opened the bags and placed it towards you. "Here you go!" 

Both of you began chowing down on the junks and you noticed how it was a bit too quiet for your liking. 

"Wanna play 20 questions?" You suggested. He nodded, "sounds good." He popped a chip into his mouth. "You go first." He said. 

"Okay… your favourite time of the year?" You asked. He thought about it and snapped his fingers, "I really enjoy the springtime. Everything is in bloom and the weather is just right." He explained. 

"Alright, how are you always arriving to class so much earlier than everyone else?" He asked. 

You took a piece of popcorn, "Uhm… I just like to get out of my house as fast as possible." You uttered. Kun's playful expression soon changed to a more serious and worried one. 

"What do you mean by that?" He asked. You threw a piece of popcorn to him. "That's two questions, sir. My turn first." You joked. He rolled his eyes playfully as he threw a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it with his mouth. 

"Your thoughts on soulmates and the process of finding them." You asked. 

Kun straightened up. This topic has always been a bit touchy for him and it wasn't because he doesn't believe in it but it's because he can't find his soulmate mark. He's checked every inch of his body and it was nowhere to be seen. 

"I think… soulmates are a fascinating concept. Just the thought that there's someone out there for you who will make you feel whole and loved till the end of your days is just so beautiful."

"As for the process, I wish it was easier. I wish it was something more noticeable, y' know?" 

You stared at Kun. You've never seen this side of him and you're glad you did. Kun played around with his shoelaces, a simple and cute action.

"Okay, my turn. Same question, why do you like leaving your house early?" He asked. 

You sighed, "I promised myself not to drag you into this but since you asked," you breathed out. "My relationship with my dad and step-mom is kind of… awkward." you started.

"You see, it's not like they're mean to me or anything, it's just that I wasn't really close to my dad, to begin with, and he married a lady two years ago and well, it's especially worse whenever he leaves for trips." You explained. 

"And whenever I do see my dad, it's always about work. It's really difficult for me to hold a proper conversation with them." you drank a bit of Sprite. 

"So, in short, you don't hate them, you're just not close to them…?" He asked. You nodded, "Basically." 

"Ah, I see." He continued. "What's your stepmom like?" He asked. 

You shrugged, "She's nice and all but I've never experienced a proper mother and daughter relationship so maybe that's why it's a bit hard for me to accept her. The only motherly figure I had was my grandma." 

He nodded, "That's understandable but you should give her a chance. Maybe get to know her a bit. She could be a great person." He suggested. 

You shrugged, "One day, I'll try." You said. He nodded, “Slowly but surely, Y/N.”

Many questions later and soon both of you were sprawled on the floor, full of junk food. 

"I feel so… bloated." You said. He burped, "Yeah." He agreed. 

You turned over to face him, "If someone were to pass by, they'd think we're friends and not teacher and student." You joked.

His brows furrowed as he turned to face you, his face slightly closer to yours. 

"Aren't we friends though?" He turned to you. You stared into those beautiful, brown eyes and smiled softly. 

All this time, you never knew Kun saw you as a friend. You always just thought he saw you as a friendly student but now that he said that, you couldn't help but feel your heart swell.

"Yeah, I guess we are." 

You reached home, your body still feeling a little giddy from earlier. You didn't know what it was but the way he stared at you made you feel a certain way. 

Before opening the door, you sighed. You began patting your face.

"Y/N, he probably has a soulmate and you have yours. We can't ruin the process just because of some stupid crush you have. C'mon girly, push those feelings aside for now. He's just being friendly." You told yourself. 

Walking into the house, you heard the same Italian opera but this time you heard laughter. You walked towards the laughter and saw your father and stepmom slow dancing. 

You wanted to leave them to it but you couldn't help but watch. Something about the way your father was softly caressing her hair as she rested her head on his chest made your chest warm a little. 

"Oh Y/N!" Your stepmom noticed your presence.

"Uh hi." You waved. Her cheeks were turning a soft shade of pink while your dad couldn't help but laugh. 

"No, no, keep going. Don't let me be the reason for you guys to stop. I'll be upstairs." You teased lightly as you walked up. You turned on your computer and waited for Jaemin and Renjun.

"Hey bubs, how was practice?" Renjun asked. 

You sigh, a longing looks evident on her face, “It was good." 

Kun reached home excitedly, wanting to tell Sicheng about Y/N.

"Dong Sicheng!" He called. Sicheng who was working in the kitchen peeked through the walkway, "Oh hey Kun." He walked towards Kun, keeping his glasses in his pocket. 

Kun gave Sicheng a big hug, "it worked, Y/N helped me finish the song." He said. Sicheng smiled and patted Kun's back. 

Kun began telling Sicheng about everything that happened and Sicheng noticed how there were crows feet forming at the side of Kun's eyes and how he was smiling so much.

And Kun wasn't just talking about the earlier events but he was talking about how amazing you are, as a person. 

Sicheng grinned and thought to himself, for the first time ever, Kun actually likes someone.

"So, he got your snacks after class? That's so nice!" Jaemin pouted. 

"I'll buy you snacks, love." Minseo kissed his cheek. 

Renjun made a face, "I've never felt more single." He sighed. 

You let out a laugh, "It's okay, me too." you reassured Renjun. Jaemin smacked Renjun on the back, “Dude, don’t worry she’s out there somewhere! You just gotta keep hoping and never stop believing” Jaemin gave him a side hug, “Also, here!” he gave a fat kiss on Renjun’s cheek.

“OH MY GOD JAEMIN, WHY?” Renjun screeched. Jaemin grinned, proud of himself, “You needed some love and I gave it.” he said.

Minseo looked at you and you turned to her, shaking your head. “Do you now know what I have to deal with every day?” you pointed. Minseo giggled and nodded, “They are quite a handful.” she agreed.

“You too, Y/N. Don’t give up, be patient, and hope for the best.” Renjun finally pushed Jaemin’s face away and smiled. The corner of your lip raised slightly.

“AND BY THE BEST, HE MEANS PROFESSOR QIAN!” Jaemin pushed Renjun out of the frame.

You groaned and gave yourself a facepalm, “Really, Nana?” you shook your head.

 Just as you were going to continue, you heard a faint knock on your door.

“Come in.” you press mute on your mic. Your stepmom walked in with a plate of cookies.

“Hi, dear. I made these earlier. I thought maybe you’d like to try some.” she handed the plate to you. You smiled softly, “Thank you, Lilian.” you thanked her. Her eyes widened and she tried to hide her wide smile. 

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything, okay? Your father had gone to play golf with a few friends.” you chuckled, “What’s new?” you joked and she laughed along. 

The door closed and you turned to the screen, Renjun and Jaemin watching you with their eyes widened and mouths hanging.

“Did… did you just have a proper conversation with her?” Renjun asked, clearly shocked. You shrugged, “She came all the way up here to give me cookies, plus, I was just thanking her.” you bit into one and it was absolutely delicious.

Slowly but surely.

“Kun, this part is a bit confusing. Can we try again?” you asked. Kun nodded and the both of you were playing again and again but something was missing.

It wasn’t the same as the first day and both of you knew it. “What are we doing wrong?” you whispered.

“You noticed too, huh?” he asked, sweat trickling down his forehead. You nodded with scrunched brows. “I don’t get it, we were playing just fine the other day.” 

You breathed out and looked over the music sheets. “This is the fifth time we tried. What could it be?” 

Kun stood behind Y/N and stared at the piano, he was trying to figure out the solution to this.

A sudden knock scared the both of you, “Mr Qian?”, Mr Micheals, the music therapy teacher peeked into the room.

“Oh, Agus, how can I help you?” he turned. Professor Micheals didn’t seem to realise that you were there.

“I actually need you for a few minutes.” he gave Kun a knowing look. Kun’s eyes widened and he nodded, “I’ll be out in a sec,” he told Professor Micheals. 

He turned to you and he gave an apologetic look, “Y/N, I’m really sorry-”

“Wait what, no, no you don’t have to apologise. I’ll figure out what’s wrong with the song.” she smiled cutely.

He poked her cheek and grinned, running out of the studio.

She placed a hand on her cheek, at where he touched. The sudden action causing her to smile shyly, internally squealing.

She began to play the song but this time, it was much worse. On the first day, the song felt light and smooth. It was as if you were in the movie and experiencing all the magic. It was as if you were in the flower field with… him.

But today it was empty and it didn’t give you the same feeling. Why did Kun choose this song?

You decided to play a different song, for the time being. The piano solo played by Victor in Corpse Bride, your favourite.

Kun and Agus were going to walk in when he heard Y/N play a different song. She calmly pressed at the keys, the notes probably engraved in her mind.

Kun recognised the song, it was the song that caught his attention on the first day of class. The morning was cold and he was rather sleepy and would rather like to sleep in but alas, he was in the studio, having an evaluation test that was requested by their previous lecturer.

When he first called out Y/N, he didn’t think too much of her. Yes, she was very pretty and the beige overalls she wore on that day were very cute but that was all. 

It was no wonder, everyone seemed so excited to watch her play. She was… breathtakingly stunning.

And throughout that entire class, he looked up to see the young student show her talents. He looked around and noticed how engrossed her peers were as she played the song.

He was expecting to hear a classic but till this day, she has never once failed to surprise her. 

Kun watched as she played the same song, just like the first time, her expression was sad and you could tell the song meant something to her. But what?

“She really is a talented student. No wonder you chose her to play along with you.” Agus praised as he too watched by the doorway.

“Yeah, she’s incredible.”

There was a small but growing feeling in his heart that maybe, just maybe, Y/N was always meant to play this song with him all along. He didn’t need anyone else. It has always been her. 

But his heart sank at the harsh reality that someone better is out there waiting for her.

“So… why did Professor Micheals call you?” you asked. “Did you get into trouble?” you asked seriously.

He shook his head, “Mr Micheals was just informing me of something.” he waved the topic off. 

The walk to the parking lot was quiet, you were going to his house with Jaemin and Renjun a bit later. 

He walked you to your motorbike and you turned to him, "Thanks for walking me." You thanked him. He nodded, "it's the least I could do since I made you stay back." He said. 

You were going to get on but you turned to him. "We'll figure it out. I know we will." You looked at him with determination. 

"That's what I like to hear. I'll see you soon, Y/N." He spun on his heel and walked to his car. 

You smiled to yourself and wore your jacket and helmet. You made an order this morning at Kun's favourite noodle place across town. He told you he loved going there but he never had time to go. You thought it would be a nice surprise. 

You weren't planning on staying home for long, just needed a quick shower and a change of clothes.

"I'm home." You shut the door. Lilian walked in, wiping her hands with a towel. 

"Welcome home, dear." She said before massaging her head softly.

You walked towards her, "Are you alright?" You hesitantly asked. She nodded, "Of course, dear." She smiled.

"Are you sure? I have some medicine in my room if you'd like?" You offered. She shook her head, "I'm fine, Y/N. Just a little dizzy." 

You nodded, "Where's dad?" You asked. She sighed, "He had to attend a meeting in town." 

She looked down at the bags of food in your hands. 

She pointed at them, "I'm guessing you're going to Jaemin and Renjun's?" She grinned.

You shook your head, "It's a different friend. He and his housemates recently got a dog and he asked if we'd like to visit." You explained. 

She nodded and smiled, "I see. Well, tell the boys I said hi and be safe, okay?" She smiled one last time before turning around to the living room. 

You smiled, slowly but surely.

You walked to the kitchen counter and took out the two tupperwares of noodles you got for them. You got your dad's favourite beef noodle soup and potato and beef noodles. 

You took a post-it and wrote,

"bought you guys some food! I hope you like them, I might be home a bit late. :))" 

You ran to your room and took a quick shower and changed into a black turtleneck and tucked it into a pair of high waisted, beige pants.

You wore the necklace your dad bought for you and let your hair down. 

You looked at yourself, pretty proud of the look. Your eyes glanced to your medicine box. You smiled and took out the medicine that has helped you for coughing and headaches. You took your bag and skipped down the stairs. You walked back to the kitchen and placing the medicine on the note. 

You grabbed the food and placed it in between your legs as you started your motorbike. 

You heard the chatter and laughter outside their house and pressed the doorbell. 

The door opened and you were greeted by Yangyang. 

"Yangyang!" You squealed as you attacked him in a hug. 

"Hey, Y/N! Come on in, Jaemin and Renjun just arrived." You walked in and saw that everyone was preparing the food. 

"Everyone, Y/N is here!" Yangyang announced. 

Yukhei came running for you, picking you up and twirling you around. You laughed loudly, "Ah, it's good to see you again!" Yukhei gave one last squeeze. 

"I haven't seen you guys in so long." You smiled at the noisy but welcoming atmosphere. 

Xiaojun came in, Bella in his arms while Louis was playing around Hendery's feet. 

You squealed, "Oh my god, she's so small!" Xiaojun handed her to you.

You gave the puppy kisses, earning an adorable whine. You awe and tickled her little round belly.

"Okay, who is ready for some- Woah." Kun walked out of the kitchen, looking at you. 

He looked at you and his heart did a few turns. 

And the fact that you were being extremely adorable with Bella made it even better. 

You turned to Kun and waved at him. He wore a navy collared shirt, loosely tucked into a pair of black pants. 

You couldn't help but giggle at the pink mittens he was wearing. You placed Bella down and walked up to him.

"Look what I got for you!" You lifted the bag. He gasped, "But their shop is halfway across town!" His eyes widened. 

You nodded, "It's a quick trip if you go by motorbike. Plus, take it as a thank you." You handed it to him. 

He raised a brow, "what for?" He asked. 

"Well, firstly the snacks and well, for being an amazing teacher and friend." You smiled, giving him a hug. 

Before Kun could react, you walked to Renjun and Jaemin who were talking to Xiaojun and Yukhei. 

His face warmed and he ran to the kitchen where Sicheng was preparing the plates and cups. 

"What's up with you?" Sicheng asked. Kun jumped and shook his head, "Nothing, just a bit warm out there." 

Sicheng peeked outside and smirked when he saw Y/N. 

"Ah, I see. Well, I'll make sure to decrease the temperature then." He said cheekily as he walked out. 

Soon all of you were sitting around the living room and chowing down on all the good food. 

"Whoever made this, can I marry you?" You muttered without thinking.

Kun's eyes widened. Sicheng began cackling to the point he was coughing. 

"Kun made this! It's his speciality." Ten pointed at the beef and vegetable dish on the table. Your mouth fell and you turned to your two best friends who were holding in their laughter.

"Oh, uhm… it's really good!" You smiled awkwardly. 

"Thank you, Y/N." Kun looked down, hiding the now obvious red blush on his face.

It was nice seeing everyone talking, eating and overall enjoying each other's company. 

You were currently having a nice cup of coffee with Sicheng talking about random topics.

"How's practice going?" He asked. "It's been okay, I guess." 

Sicheng placed his mug down, "oh, you don't sound so pleased." He stated.

You shook your head, "no, no. Everything is good but in our recent practice sessions, the music just doesn't feel right." You explained.

"Y'know when you do something and it's perfect but for some reason, you can't do it ever again? That's what's been going on." Sicheng nodded as you spoke. 

"I can tell Kun is getting stressed out by it. He tends to blame himself for it but it's not his fault at all. I don't think I'm the right person for this." You continued.

Sicheng turned and saw Kun playing a board game with Jaemin and Hendery. 

He sighed and turned to you, "I don't know if he ever wanted to tell you this but… he's been stressed out over this song even before you played it together." 

You tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?" 

"Kun hasn't been able to play this song by himself or with anyone else. It's like a block, he can't pass it no matter what."

"He had played it with a few other people, including myself but it never worked." 

"So, when I suggested playing it with you, he wasn't so hopeful at first. It's not because he doesn't believe in you but it's because he genuinely thought he could never play this song. When he came home telling me that you were the right person, he was beyond happy." 

"Y/N, you are the right person." He placed a hand on your shoulder. 

You parked your motorbike out at the garage and walked in. After the little talk you had with Sicheng, it made you think. Why am I so special? How come it only worked with me? 

You walked into the house and stopped dead in your tracks. You spotted Lilian unconscious in the living room. 

"Oh my god, Lilian!" You ran to her, dropping your bag on the floor. You began slapping her face lightly, trying to wake her up. 

She was still breathing but it was very slow. You quickly called an ambulance. They gave you instructions to try and wake her up but nothing seemed to have worked. 

Soon, you heard the sirens outside your house and the paramedics ran in.

"How long has she been unconscious?" They asked. You shook your head, "I-I don't know. I just got back." You stuttered. 

They took her out and you follow behind on your motorbike. 

She was brought into the ER and you were told to wait outside. You quickly called your dad, freaking out. 

"Hello? What's the matter?" Your dad asked, slightly annoyed. 

"D-dad… please come to the hospital. Something happened to Lilian." 

He was silent before he hung up. You waited and waited and waited. No one has come out to tell you what happened. 

Your dad rushed in, looking everywhere. 

"Dad!" You ran to him. 

For the first time in years, your dad gave you a proper hug. 

"Where is she? What happened?" He asked. 

"The doctors are still checking up on her." You said. 

"Miss Y/N?" You heard someone call you. You turned and pulled your dad with you. 

"Yes, that's me." You declared. 

"Well, the good news is she's awake. She experienced a sudden drop in her blood pressure. Do you know if she's had that problem before?" The doctor asked. 

You shook your head, so did your dad. "Well, it would be best if she stays in the hospital for a while. We would just like to observe her since she's never had this problem before." He informed him. 

"Ah, thank you, doctor." You bowed a little.

Your dad turned to you as soon as the doctor left. 

"Why didn't you call me sooner?" He asked, pain in his voice. 

"I came home and she was already on the floor." You said. Before you explained further, your dad turned you to face him.

"What? You weren't at home?" He asked, his face hardening. 

"Well, yeah. I got home and I even bought you guys food. I told her that I was leaving and she told me to stay safe." You explained.

"Was she already different before?" He asked.

"She did complain about a headache but she told me not to worry about it." You added. 

Your dad's brows furrowed, "You're telling me you left her alone even when you already noticed she wasn't feeling well?" He raised his voice.

"Y-yes. She said I could go." You tried to reason. 

"That doesn't matter, Y/N! That was very irresponsible of you. What would've happened if it was worse, huh? Gosh, you only think of yourself." He yelled. 

"I get it, you don't like her but seriously, this bad?!" 

Some people were already looking at you. "Dad, please not here. People are staring." You whispered. 

"Do I look like I care? How could you do that, Y/N?" He grabbed you by the arm. 

Your eyes turned glassy, blurred by the tears. You were angry but also sad at the fact that he somehow twisted it to be your fault. 

"You wanna lecture me about being selfish? What about you? You went out to play golf with your friends! You're barely home, to begin with, and when you are you don’t care about us, About me!" You yelled back.

"Don't you ever think about how I feel, huh? You came home on my birthday, suddenly announcing you were getting married again and you didn't even ask if I was okay with that!" 

"I don't even feel like I'm at home anymore. I wish grandma was still alive so I could've lived with her instead of being stuck the both of you." You pulled your arm away. "At least, she actually loved me. You could've at least pretended like you actually cared and not just use me to brag to your friends." 

"Y/N…" he sounded hurt, maybe a bit regretful but you didn't care.

"No, don't. Just leave me alone. That's what you're good at, right?" You hissed as you ran out of the ER. 

You got onto your motorbike, starting it with tears streaming down your face. 

"I can't go home." You muttered. 

You stopped by a building and called Jaemin. 

The number you're trying to reach is currently busy. Please try again.

You pressed Renjun’s number this time and it was the same. 

Whose place could you stay at for now?

Then suddenly, the very person you knew you needed the most popped up on your mind. 

You pressed his number, silently praying he'd pick up. 

"Miss me already?" He answered in a playful manner. You let out a sigh of relief. 

"Kun?" Your voice broke a bit. 

Kun shifted from his seat. "Y/N… what's wrong?" He asked, noticing the sound of sniffling.

"I… can I come over?" She asked. 

"Of course, where are you? I'll come to get you." He stood up.

"N-no, it's okay. I'll be there in a few minutes. I need to get some stuff anyway."

She hung up and Kun immediately ran to the guest room. Hendery and Xiaojun who were up were curious about the noise and checked on Kun.

"Everything okay here?" Hendery asked. 

"Y/N's staying over." Was all Kun said as he replaced the bed sheets and pillowcases. 

"Wait what? Is that allowed?" Xiaojun asked.

Kun stopped whatever he was doing and thought about it. 

"No… it isn't but she sounded like she needs help and I hope you guys are okay with that." 

"Oh dude, of course, we are. I'm just worried that it would affect both of you, y' know since she's your student." Xiaojun explained himself. 

Kun had forgotten that Y/N was his student. They were both so comfortable with each other, they just sought like close friends. 

"Thanks, Xiaojun." He smiled. "And we just have to pray nobody finds out."

Xiaojun and Hendery helped Kun tidy the room up when Sicheng suddenly walked in.

"What's going on?" He asked, clearly confused.

"Y/N is coming." Hendery simply answered as he pulled the bed sheet to straighten it.

Sicheng turned to Kun. "This late?" He crossed his hands over his chest. 

"Yeah, seemed pretty serious." He replied.

Sicheng smirked again, "I see, I see. No funny business, now Kun." Sicheng turned around as he walked out.

Wait for what? He paused.

"How did you - oh fuck." He plopped on the bed. Was he that obvious?

Xiaojun cocked his head and turned to Kun, who was really questioning everything.

"No…" Xiaojun covered his mouth. "NO FUCKING WAY!" he said. 

"Can you quiet down?" Kun smacked his shoulder. 

"THIS MAKES ME WORRY EVEN MORE." he pointed at Kun. 

Hendery who was still confused finally caught on. "OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE HER DON'T YOU?" Hendery screamed. "Why didn't you tell us?" He asked as he giggled. 

"Because I knew you'd react that way." He sighed as he rubbed his face.

"Whatever, we'll talk about this another time. She'll be here anytime now and-" they froze as the doorbell went off. 

Kun pushed Hendery out of the way and ran down the stairs. 

He quickly opened the door and his heart dropped. 

Y/N's was clearly red and puffy from crying, she had some makeup smudged and she looked like she could barely talk.

Kun pulled her into the house, giving her a tight hug. 

This was the second hug they shared in one day. The first one was quick and barely meant anything but this one, was warmth and worry.

"C'mon." He tried to pull away but Y/N pulled him back and wrapped her hands around his waist.

"Wait… a bit longer please." She whispered. Kun sighed and hugged her even tighter. 

He placed his chin on the top of her head while she rested her cheek on his warm chest. 

She finally pulled away and looked up. "Thank you." Was all she said. 

He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Anything for you." He smiled. 

Both of them walked up to the guest room and Kun let her settle in.

Kun walked into his bedroom, sitting on his bed before finally lying down.

So many thoughts were going through his head but he had to wait for her to open up when she was comfortable enough.

You heard the soft chatter and bustle downstairs and you thought it was best to get up and freshen up a bit.

You looked into the mirror and hissed at your appearance. Your eyes had gotten red and puffy from all that crying. You didn’t even bother washing your face before passing out.

Kun had prepared quite a big breakfast since it was the weekend. Yukhei walked in, still in a robe as he yawned.

“There’s so much food!” he said excitedly. Sicheng drank his tea, “We had a late-night guest and Kun wants her to feel very welcomed.” Sicheng opened the newspapers and crossed his legs.

Kun came behind Sicheng and smacked the back of his head, “Quit it, yeah?” he said with clenched teeth.

“Can’t help it, Kun. It's the first time you’ve ever liked a girl. The best part is that all of us know her.” Hendery defended Sicheng as he grabbed a piece of toast.

“Woah, Woah, Kun likes someone? And we’ve met her? And she’s here?” Yukhei questioned. Hendery nodded and Sicheng smirked.

Kun groaned, “Seriously guys? Stop it, it’s never gonna happen.” he waved his spatula in the air.

“Who is it?” Yukhei whined.

“How are you so sure it will never happen?” Sicheng countered.

“Because she doesn’t feel the same? And it’s wrong in many ways like firstly, I’m her lecturer and two, she probably has a soulmate.”

“Who is it??” Yukhei kept asking, jumping around in his seat.

“How is it wrong if it’s true love?” Hendery replied.

“Because it would be true love if it went both ways. She doesn’t like me like that, now drop. It.” Kun said seriously.

“FOR FUCK SAKE WHO IS THIS GIRL?” Yukhei finally stood up and yelled.

“What’s going on?” they heard a small voice. Yukhei turned around and froze. 

He slowly turned to Kun, shock evident in his face. He began stuttering and pointing at Y/N.

Before he could say anything Xiaojun swiftly covered his mouth and pulled him to the kitchen. Kun smiled awkwardly, “Uhm, I’ll go get the rest of the food.” He scratched the back of his neck before running into the kitchen.

Upon Kun’s arrival, Yukhei began to freak out.

“KUN, WHAT THE FUCK?” Lucas nearly screamed before the two other shushed him.

“I know but it’s complicated, okay?” Kun replied back.

“No, I meant WHAT THE FUCK WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER?” he repeatedly smacked Kun on the back.

“How come they got to know before I did?” he asked, slightly offended. 

“Wh..what?? You’re mad because of that?” his shoulders drooped. Yukhei nodded, “Yeah man. I always had a feeling that there was something going on between the two of you. Like, have you seen the way both of you interact?”

Kun sighed as he leaned against the counter, “I thought you were disappointed in me.” Kun confessed.

“Why would I be disappointed? I mean, I’m lowkey worried if you get fired but you’re both grown adults, you’re only four years older than her. Plus, what if she was your soulmate?” Yukhei questions.

Kun looked taken aback. If Y/n was his soulmate, he was pretty sure they would’ve realised by now. 

“Don’t give me hope,” Kun muttered.

“No, seriously think about it. What if Y/N do like you too but you can’t see it? Stop putting yourself down like that.” Yukhei walked up to Kun and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Thanks, Yukhei but I highly doubt it. Now, c’mon before they get curious.” he walked out.

Y/N bit into the slice of buttered toast and hummed at the warm and melted butter.

“You okay, kiddo?” Sicheng rested his arms on the table.

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to go back home for a bit.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Just stay here until you feel ready to go back.”

“Thank you, Sicheng.” you smiled warmly.

Kun finally walked out and this was the most casual you’ve ever seen him. He wore a white sweater paired with black sweats. 

“Morning.” he greeted. You smiled, “Morning, Kun.” he took the seat next to yours.

“So, what do you guys usually do on the weekends?” you asked.

Hendery shrugged, “we usually hang out and do our own thing. Sometimes, we go out together.” you nodded, chewing slowly on your toast.

“We weren’t planning on doing much this weekend though. So it might get a bit boring.” Yukhei mentioned.

“It’s alright. I’ll probably play with Bella and Louis if I’m bored.” you smiled. 

“You can call Jaemin and Renjun if you like,” Sicheng added.

“Oh no, they’ve gone to Jaemin’s hometown for the weekend. Jaemin wanted to introduce his soulmate to his parents,” you said. “Renjun followed for support.” 

The men all awed, “That’s really nice. Tell him we wish him good luck.” Hendery exclaimed.

You began talking with everyone comfortably, smiling and laughing once in a while.

Kun smiled at how perfectly you fit into this situation. Having breakfast with him and his best friends, chatting about, quite sleepily.

And it made him wonder, would life be this great if Y/N stayed in it?

Y/N turned to Kun who was adding his inputs once in a while, chuckling along to whatever joke Yukhei had made.  Smiling and shaking his head once in a while with his messy hair and black slippers.

Her mind began to drift into thinking of how nice her life would be if Kun was in it. Not just until graduation but for much, much longer. 

You liked him and you were too scared to admit it because you were scared of rejection and being pushed away once someone better comes along in his life.

It was your second week there and you were adamant on paying rent but the boys didn’t allow it. Instead, you pay in the form of doing chores. The boys had stopped you several times but they gave up after realising there was nothing stopping you. You and Kun also continued with practice but you still faced the same problem.

 You were currently studying at the dining table when Kun walked downstairs.

“Hey, what are you studying?” he sat next to you.

“Music history and therapy.” you sighed as you looked at him. At this point, both of you were comfortable to the point of cuddling on the sofa while watching movies or him letting you borrow his hoodies.

And to be honest, you don’t want things to change. 

“Do you need help?” he asked. You shook your head, “I’m good. Also, Kun can we continue practising later?” you asked.

He hummed, “If you mean tonight, then sure.” he stood up.

You looked at him in confusion, “I actually wanted to practice after studying.” you suggested.

“Ah, no can do, Y/N. we’re all going out.” he grinned.

“Oh, where are we going?” you asked. You got up. He wiggled his eyebrows, “You’ll see~ Just wear something casual.” he walked back up.

“So, nobody is telling me where we’re going?” you asked. Kun shook his head, “Nope! It’s a surprise.” he grinned as he drove.

Yukhei and Ten sat behind, laughing among themselves.

“Do you realise something?” you asked. He hummed, “What?”

“Study week is a week from now,” you said. 

He turned to you and nodded, “What about it?”

“It means, I’m gonna be graduating soon,” you added. 

“Aren’t you happy about that though?” he smiled. You shrugged and faced the window.

“I don’t know really. I mean, besides studying, I had a great time.” Kun snorted at your previous comment.

“I have two amazing best friends, my classmates weren’t problematic and I have a pretty cool teacher who cares about me alot.”

Kun grinned smugly, “Ah, who is this ‘pretty cool teacher, eh Y/N?” he turned to you.

You thought about it, “Madam Lim, without a doubt.” you joked.

Kun’s face dropped and he began to pout, “Ah, I see. Well, I guess your rant the other day doesn’t mean much to you anymore, huh?” he replied.

You gasped, “Oh no, I’m still mad about her calling me out like that.” you smirked. He rolled his eyes causing both of you to laugh.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you said. Kun’s face soften,

“You can always visit, y’ know? I’m pretty sure you’re an honorary roommate now.”

“Mhm, that’s true,” Yukhei said. 

“Definitely.” Ten added.

“Thanks, guys.” you turned behind. 

“It’s not gonna be the same y’ know?” you sighed. “I see you almost every day. Even when I don’t have class, I’ll always bump into you.” 

He sighed and smiled, “I know, Y/N. I’m gonna miss you and your large appetite.” he took one hand off the steering wheel to pat your head. You giggled, “I like head pats.” 

He raised a brow, “You do? Well, I should pat your head more often.” he smiled.

You giggled and shook your head.

You thought about your life after uni. You’ll have to find a job, hopefully, move somewhere.

But the worst of all, you won’t get to see Kun as much as you’d like to. Your heart hurt at the thought. He’s been there for you ever since he came to teach and you couldn't imagine life without him in it.

“We’re here!” Ten points. To your right, you saw bright and colourful lights and your eyes widened. You grabbed his arm, “Are we… at the lantern festival?”

He nodded proudly, “I remembered you told me your grandmother used to bring you but he stopped. I thought it would be nice to bring you.” he chuckled.

“KUN!” you whined cutely, “That’s so sweet. I can’t believe you remembered.” he couldn’t see it but you were blushing like crazy.

Kun rolled up his black sweater sleeves, turned and placed a hand behind your headrest to park. 

With the beautiful lights reflecting onto his face, he looked like he jumped out of a romantic drama.

You felt incredibly small when he did that and the only thing going through your head was,

Oh my god, that’s so hot

Ten and Yukhei cheered as they ran out of the car. Kun turned back and unbuckled his seatbelt.

He turned to you and waved his hand in front of your face, “Y/N? We’re here.” he said.

“Huh?” you snapped out of your trance, “Oh, we’re here.” you looked around.

He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, we are.” Kun opened his door and walked over to yours. He opened the door and held his hand out. You grabbed it and got out.

The other boys waited for both of you.

Sicheng and Yukhei nudged each other, giggling. Kun narrowed his eyes, signalling for them to stop.

“Hey, what’s so funny?” you asked innocently. Sicheng shook his head, “Nothing, Yukhei just pointed at something funny.” Sicheng answered calmly.

Yangyang and Ten were jumping out of excitement, they were already running around and looked around in awe, amazed at the colourful lights.

You walked side by side with Kun, reminiscing the times you walked around with your grandmother. 

“I remembered having so much fun and grandma had to chase me around because I would run off without her realising,” you mentioned.

“Ah, your poor grandmother’s kneecaps.” he hissed. You lightly bumped into him, “She was a strong old lady. She’d wack, my dad if she had to.” you chuckled.

“Do you remember the song I played on the first day of class?” you asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, it was from The Corpse Bride right?” he asked

“Yeah, well that was my favourite movie when I was a kid. My grandma taught me that song.” you reminisced.

“Could you believe that was the first-ever song I learnt? She was tough but loving. I basically started playing with songs from movies.” 

“But nowadays, I can’t watch that movie without crying. I miss her alot,” you said.

“She would be very proud of you, Y/N.” 

“I hope she is.” 

You admired the beautiful lights and lanterns. Families and couples were enjoying themselves. Kids were all running around, even Yangyang and Ten.

Kun kept looking at her, “Y/N, do you plan on going back home?” he asked, a bit more serious than usual.

You eyed him, “Planning on kicking me out, sir?” you asked. 

“No, I like having you around but… why did you leave, exactly?” 

Y/N hasn’t opened up about what had happened and he thought it was best to finally ask. 

“Hmm, how about I tell you later when we’re practising?” you sighed, “I’d like to enjoy this.”

“Of course, whenever is fine.” Kun smiled and they continued walking around.

The boys were all pushing and playing around, you and Kun just watched from behind.

“This is really nice.” you breathed in. 

“Yeah, it is.”

“Kun, they’re lighting lanterns!” Yangyang called.

“Shall we?” he pointed. You nodded enthusiastically, grabbing his hand and running to the area.

“C’mon, write a wish!” Hendery pointed at the lanterns. 

You and Kun paid for your lanterns and began writing. 

Everyone began hanging your lanterns on the wall, alongside the hundreds of other lanterns.

“What did you wish for?” he asked. You shook your head, "It won't come true if I tell you, dummy." You teased.

You looked around and sighed, "Sure is beautiful, isn't it?" You smiled softly.

"Yeah, it is." 

As your eyes were on the colourful lanterns, his were on you, the entire time. 

"Okay, we'll do one round and we'll continue another time, okay?" You offered. 

"Sounds good. I'm pretty sleepy, not gonna lie." He yawned. 

Both of you sat closely, breathing in and beginning in sync.

Still no changes. You shrugged, "It's okay. We still have more time." You smiled.

He sighed, quite disappointingly. 

You nudged him, "I think it's time to tell you about what happened with my parents." 

"Well, before the potluck, my stepmom mentioned her having a headache but she told me I could, y' know to go for the potluck anyways. Well, she fainted due to low blood pressure and my dad decided it would be better if he blamed it on me."

Kun's eyebrows furrowed, clearly irritated.

"All I want is to be loved. Yes, I have Jaemin and Renjun but I don't know what familial love is and it sucks because I want to know what it feels like to have a loving family but I don't know what family is…" a tear fell from your face.

Kun immediately pulled you in for a hug, stroking your hair gently. 

"Hey... hey. I'm here, I'm here." He whispered.

"My dad was never there for me and my mom passed away before anything happened in my life. I just… I feel so lonely." You said. "Maybe I was destined to be alone forever." 

Kun pulled you so you were facing him. He stroked your cheek with his thumb, "Listen to me, you're not alone. You have amazing friends who are willing to do anything for you. And I hope… someone special will come into your life and show you what love and family truly is." He ended. 

"Kun, I don't even think I have a soulmate." You coughed. 

"What? No, Y/N everyone does. You just need to be patient." He kissed the top of your head lightly. 

You sobbed even harder, "I don't even have a soulmate mark, Kun." You admitted. 

Kun's heart dropped, he thought he was the only one who couldn't find his mark. 

He breathed in and faced you again, "Y/N, did you know that yellow is the rarest colour for soulmates to achieve?" He asked. 

You looked up, "What?" 

He nodded and hugged you tighter than before. He placed his chin on your head and rubbed your back.

"It is stated that soulmates who get the colour yellow are said to be so perfect, it's impossible to ever separate them because they have achieved true happiness, together with each other. With normal people, you could easily bump into your soulmate on the street and have no idea who they are but with this special group are blessed to have already known their soulmate." He rocked you back and forth. 

He looked down and saw that her eyes had shut, sleeping soundly. 

He chuckled, "And I wish, you'll meet your soulmate with the colour yellow." 

Your exams were going to be for a week, and you were a nervous wreck. 

You called Jaemin and Renjun, initially to study but you guys ended up talking. 

“Wait, so your soulmate is Jaemin’s childhood neighbour?” you giggled.

“Yeah! We both got red.” 

“Red? What were you arguing about?” you asked.

“You won’t believe it, they were fighting over peaches.” jaemin sighed. 

“In my defence, she took the ripest one just as I was going to pick it.” 

“Only you, Renjun. Only you.” you chuckled.

Jaemin went quiet for a while, his brows furrowing as he looked at you.

"Y/N, where are you?" Jaemin asked. "We've been calling since a few weeks ago and I know for a fact that’s, not your room." 

You suck in a breath, "I never mentioned it huh?" You asked nervously.

"Mentioned what, exactly?" Renjun asked. "Bubs, where are you?" He asked, a bit more worried. 

"Well, I'm obviously not home because I, uh had a fight with my dad and I'm actually at… kunzhouseh." You mumble at the end. 

"What?" Jaemin asked.

"I'm… at kunshouse." You mumbled again.

"Speak louder, woman!" Renjun yelled. 

"I’M STAYING AT KUN'S HOUSE!" you finally said. 

"WHAT?!" they both said in unison. 

"Well, you guys weren't home and well, he was the only person I could think of." You said softly. 

"How long have you been staying there?" Jaemin asked.

"...I think we're about to reach a month." You replied. 

The two of them looked at you and began screaming.

"AND WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL US THIS?" 

"YOU'VE BEEN FULFILLING OUR SHIP AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL US?"

"Guys, calm down!" You panicked.

"HUSH, TELL US EVERYTHING. RIGHT NOW." 

You were going to explain your situation when you heard a knock. 

"Come in!" You said. 

Kun peeked through the door, "Hey, it's dinner time." He said, walking towards your bed. 

"Oh my god, is that Professor Qian?" Jaemin asked. 

Kun popped up into the screen and waved, "Hey guys." He greeted them. 

The two of them were trying their best not to scream and waved back. 

"I'll see you downstairs, yeah?" He tapped your shoulder. 

"Will do." You replied meekly. 

At the sound of the door shutting the two of them began fanboying ridiculously, "I can't believe it, it's actually happening." Renjun panted. 

"Whatever, I'll talk to you guys later." You pressed the hang-up button and went down for dinner. 

You were washing the plates when you felt someone poke your side. "Shouldn't you be studying?" Kun asked. "Let me do the dishes." He said. 

"No, no. You already prepared dinner. It's the least I could do." You said. 

"We'll do it together, okay?" He bumped your hip to the side. 

"I'll soap, you rinse?" He suggested. You hum and continued washing it quietly. 

You suddenly chuckled at a thought.

"What is it?" He asked. 

You shook your head, giggling "It's nothing." 

“C’mon, tell me.” he bumped his hip with yours.

“I was just thinking of when we started getting close,” you told him.

“Miss Y/L/N, I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing any of your lecturers would like to see.” he stared at the girl who was lying down on the floor of the studio. Y/N jumped at the sudden voice.

“Sorry, sir. I was just listening to a song I wanted to play.” you sat up and pulled your earphones off.

“What song is it?” Kun asked, walking to his desk and putting on his glasses.

“Just some song from a movie.” you packed your satchel and looped it around your body.

He rolled his eyes, “Miss Y/L/N, I would’ve expected a classic from you. It’s a better practice than some… meaningless soundtrack.” he pushed his glasses to sit on the bridge of his nose comfortably.

“Really?” you smirked, slightly taken aback.

“Of course. You’re smart enough to know that you should master the classics first.” 

You walked to his table and cocked your head to the side, “I think you’re wrong.” you stated confidently.

“Pardon?” he furrowed his brows and took off his glasses.

“Music is so broad and different, it’s not fair that we only pay attention to one type of genre.”

You replied.

“I’m merely teaching you what my teachers thought me.” he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Okay, sir. New lesson, what’s the meaning behind this song?” you jogged to the piano and began playing Fur Elise. 

Kun was surprised to hear you play it so professionally. 

“So?” you asked.

“Well, it means you don’t need that much practice anymore,” he remarked.

You gave him a look and he raised his hands in defence.

“The song was thought to be written for Therese, a woman that Beethoven wanted to marry in 1810, however, his handwriting was misspelt undergoing transcription, allowing the piece to be known as Fur Elise rather the Fur Therese,” he said cooly.

“Okay, so that’s what you learned right?” you asked.

“Where are you going with this, Miss Y/L/N?” he rubbed his face.

“Now, what’s a movie you watched recently?” you asked.

He thought about it, “How to train your dragon, the second one to be exact.” 

You scrunched your eyebrows, “Wow, I didn’t think you liked watching cartoons.” you said.

“My housemates wanted to watch it,” he answered.

“Ah, well perfect actually.” 

You began playing For the Dancing and Dreaming, the song Stoik and Valka sang together. 

You played the song with two hands, making it sound sweeter than ever.

“That’s the song Stoik sang to Valka. Their wedding song,” he said. 

You nodded, “Yes, and what did you remember about this song?” you asked.

“That he promised to love her for eternity.” he finally said. “I really have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Professor, don’t you realise something? Fur Elise was about a man who wrote a song about a girl, who was his student. She declined his proposal and didn’t end up marrying her.” 

“But For the Dancing and Dreaming was about a couple who promised their loyalty and love even after they part. Stoic never stopped loving Valka till the end. Both songs had deep meanings behind them and they both had a similar theme. Love. ” 

“So, yes maybe classics is what you were thought but why keep it there? What’s so wrong about starting fresh and learning something different? To say that soundtracks are meaningless is quite wrong, the songs usually reflect the stories of the characters.” you smiled at the end.

Kun was speechless, all his life he never delved into playing songs besides the ones he was thought or songs from ages ago. He looked at the student across from him, how did she manage to open his eyes so quickly.

“For a second-year student, you’re very wise,” he admitted.

You shrugged, “I just never understood why we had to keep it the same for so long. Change isn’t always bad, y’ know.” 

 The following week, Kun was handing out different sheet music to the students.

Everyone’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, he had given a piece from Beauty and The Beast.

“How about we change things up a bit, huh?” he smiled at everyone, his eyes especially focusing on you.

“I’m guessing the talk we had stuck with you, huh?” you walked to his desk after class. He arranged some papers, “Yeah, it did. I guess I wanted my lecturers to do the same but they were to old school to change anything. I’m glad you opened my eyes, Miss Y/L/N.” he bowed his head slightly.

“No problem, Mr Qian. and also, you can call me Y/N. I don’t particularly like my last name.” you admitted.

He nodded and raised his hand, “Well, thanks for the talk, Y/N.” your name rolling off his tongue smoothly.

You grinned, “No problem Mr Qian Kun.” his eyes widened,

“How do you know my first name?” the corner of his mouth raised.

“I heard the Dean call you that. Nice name by the way.” you complimented.

“Can I call you Kun?” you asked. He looked quite surprised at your question.

“I… I guess?” he stuttered.

“Great, well nice talking to you Kun!” you turned around.

“Only outside of class!” he commented. You nodded and waved at him from the back.

“You still never listen to me, huh?” he stated.

“What do you mean?” you laughed. He elbowed you gently, “I meant by you always sit with your feet on the table and you call me Kun in class anyways.” he said.

You chuckled, “Yes, I’m guilty.” you confessed. Both of you shared a moment of laughter.

“It’s only with you, though.” you smiled as you rinsed the cup he passed to you.

He soaped the last spoon and handed to you, “What do you mean by that?” he asked, with a raised brow and a curious smile.

“I only sit around like that when it’s only your class and I only call you by your first name.” you took the spoon from him.

“Really? Wow, I should’ve been stricter with you.” he teased. You shook your head and rolled your eyes playfully, “No, I didn’t mean that you weren’t serious enough. I meant…”

“I like you, Kun.” 

Kun’s playful manner vanished and he was now facing you, “What?”

“Not as a friend or a teacher. I like you, like alot for a while now.”

Kun’s heart was beating faster than he could ever imagine. She likes him too? 

“And I know you might reject me but-” before you could continue, Kun gave you a quick peck on the lip.

You were so shocked about what happened, you instantly froze. Kun pulled back and scratched the back of his neck, “Me too, Y/N. Me too.” he admitted.

You giggled and smiled, you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again, a bit longer this time. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” you whispered. Kun smiled and wrapped an arm around your waist while the other hand, held the back of your neck

It felt so natural to be in his arms, to be this close and it felt so perfect.

The next morning, you woke up and got out of bed. As you walked out of the room, you bumped into him. 

He looked down and smiled, "Morning, lovely.” he greeted as he pushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Mm, good morning.” you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting on his chest.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, placing his hands on your shoulders. 

“Like a baby.” you scrunch your nose. He chuckled when you heard a cough behind you.

“Well, I guess we can say that it’s finally official. We’ll see you downstairs.” Yukhei said, pulling along a speechless Yangyang and Ten.

You blushed as Kun wrapped his arms around your head, hiding you from his roommates.

You walked to class excitedly. Today, Kun decided to leave early so that he can drive both of you to uni without anyone catching you.

He yawned loudly, and you giggled. “I’m proud of you for coming early,” you said. He nodded sleepily, “I wanted to take a drive with you.” he smiled. 

“And I appreciate the gesture.” you gave him a kiss on the cheek.

You reached the studio and ran to the piano, “Hey, how about a short practice?” you asked.

He agreed and you pulled him to the piano. 

You began playing and sadly, still no luck. 

You nudged him, “Just ignore it, we’ll be fine.” you leaned your head on his shoulder. He smiled and gently patted your head.

Kun continued yawning and you chuckled, “I’m going to grab a coffee. Do you want one?” you asked. He nodded, “that would be lovely, thank you.” 

“Be right back!” you kissed him on the lip and ran out. 

You were thinking of how great things were and you prayed they never change. 

When you walked back to class, you heard someone else in the class.

You stood outside, not wanting to interrupt. 

“Kun, he wants you in Slovenia by the end of the month. I can’t negotiate anymore.” it was Professor Micheals. "If we postpone it, you'll lose this." 

“Agus, please. Just by graduation. I promised my students I’ll see them graduate.” he begged.

“Kun, You agreed to resign this job so you could have your own concerts. This is the one time you’re ever getting an offer like this and you’re pushing it away?” he raised his voice.

"I'm not sure I even want to do this anymore." He admitted. 

"You can't be fucking serious…" Professor Micheals groaned. 

"I found someone and I'm not ready to leave her. I won't do that to her." 

"Well, you better figure out if you'd rather pick love or your dreams. Time is running out, Kun. You must hurry." 

your heart dropped, and your mind was filled with different thoughts.

He’s leaving?

The class went by and Kun mentioned a few things for the exams before class ended.

Everyone thanked him before leaving class.

"Y/N!" He called.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, noticing how quiet you went after coming back. 

"Uh, yeah. I just don't feel too great." You said.

"Oh no, do you want me to send you home? It'll only take a few minutes." He grabbed your hands. 

"No, no. I'll take a cab or something. Your students are much more important." You let go and turned. 

"Oh, well if you need anything please tell me." He reminded. 

That's strange, She was fine this morning, what happened? He thought.

Kun couldn't wait to get home and snuggle with Y/N. 

He was overjoyed when he realised she shared the same feelings as him. 

But for now, he'll take it slow and give her all the love she deserved.

He unlocked the door and walked to the kitchen. To his surprise, Y/N was on her phone while eating something.

He hugged her from behind which spooked her a bit. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He kissed the top of her head. 

"It's not a problem." You smiled. Kun stayed in the same position when he noticed what Y/N was looking at.

Apartments in the area

"Why are you looking for apartments?" He asked. 

"Well, I'm going to have to move out one day. Might as well get ready soon." You replied. Kun let go of you and sat next to you. 

"But you can stay here. Especially since we're… yknow?" He pointed out. 

You turned to him, your face slightly guilty. 

"Kun… I heard what you were talking about with Mr Micheals." You admitted, avoiding eye contact. 

It all dawned on him, that's why she was so quiet. 

"Ah…" he furrowed his brows. "How much did you hear?" He asked. 

You got up and walked to the sink, "That you'll have to move to Slovenia by the end of the month." You said. 

He stood behind you, "Princess, please understand, I'm trying my best to push the date." He reasoned. 

"Kun, I do understand. Which is why I'm telling you to go." You said. 

Kun stared at you, "What? Y/N, no I'm not gonna leave you. I won't be able to come back for a long time." He said. 

"Kun, that's not fair on you! Maybe I'll be happy but what about you? What if things don't work out and you totally missed your chance at being an international musician?" You said.

"Kun, I'm not saying we have to end whatever this is just cause you're moving but if it does happen, at least I know you fulfilled your dreams." You reasoned. 

"What's the use of doing it if you're not there with me? What dream if you're not in it?" He said, his voice broke.

"Kun, are you hearing yourself? Don't risk things for me!" you raised your voice. 

"But I want to! I want to love you and show your love in so many ways. Don't talk about ending it please." He begged. 

"Kun, we both know we can't avoid that. like you said to me, you'll have someone out there, far better than me." Tears fell, covering your cheeks. 

"Why do you make it sound like you don't want to be with me?" He asked tears on the verge of falling. 

"I do! I really do and it breaks my heart knowing that you've worked so hard for this but you're giving it up for me!" 

"Then don't tell me to go, not yet." 

"Kun…" you whined. He got up, his back facing you.

"No… we're going to talk about this later. We're both frustrated and I don't want to argue." Kun finally said as he walked out of the kitchen.

You fell to the floor, hugging your knees. You didn't know what to do to get through him. 

I don't want to be the reason you won't get to fulfil your dreams. 

You finished the paper and handed it to Mr Micheals who smiled at you. 

You walked out of the class and sighed. That was your last paper of the week. You smiled, relief washing over you.

You also haven't spoken to Kun for a week. He kept pushing the idea of having a soulmate, why won't he accept that he is out there as well?

You walked out of campus when suddenly you heard your name. You turned and sucked in a breath. 

It was Lilian. "Y/N, hey." She walked towards you. 

"Oh, Lilian. Hi, uh what are you doing here?" You asked. 

Well, aint this awkward?

"I wanted to talk to you. Y'know, since you've been gone for almost two months." She stated. 

You scatch the back of your neck, "Yeah… I'm really sorry about that." 

"No, no. I wanted to ask you why it happened. I don't want to just hear your father's side of the story, that won’t be fair." She said. 

She held your hand, "Shall we?" She asked. 

You nodded and followed her. 

You were awkwardly drinking your tea when she came back to the gable with two slices of cake. 

"Here you go. Now, how are you?" She asked. 

All this time, Lilian has always paid a lot of attention to you because she actually cared. She didn't completely ignore you after marrying your dad. She made an effort to get to know you. 

"I'm…" you were going to lie but your face betrayed you. 

"I don't think I'm fine." You admitted. Her face instantly changed to a worried one. 

"Oh my dear, what happened?" 

You breathed in and told her everything that has happened. She listened to everything closely, not interrupting you at all. 

She held your hand and squeezed it gently. 

"Y/N, I'm so sorry you had to go through that." She apologised. "You didn't deserve that and your father was being very unfair." She said. 

The shock was evident on your face, "Wait… you're not going to side with him?" You asked.

She shook her head, "Your father may be my soulmate but that doesn't mean I have to side with him for everything." She sipped on her coffee. 

Your eyes widened and you choked on your tea. "Wh-what? You're dad's soulmate?" 

She placed the cup down, "Honey, I thought you knew? That's why we got married so quickly." She passed a tissue to you. 

You shook your head, "I'm not close enough with him to tell me anything." You played with the sleeves of your sweater. 

You sat down quietly, it made so much more sense now. All this time, you thought she married him for his money. 

But you also realised that your mom wasn't his soulmate.

"So, my mom…?" Lilian knew where you were heading and she shook your head. 

"I should've let your father tell you this but since I'm not sure when you’re going to see him again." 

"As much as your father adored your mother, she wasn't his soulmate. Your mother's father helped your father with his business and in return, he asked for him to marry his daughter." 

You breathed out, head spinning a bit. All this time, you thought your mother and father were so deeply in love but in actual fact, they weren't. 

And your mother died too early in her life to meet her actual soulmate. 

"What's it like? To have a soulmate?" You asked her. 

She thought about it and smiled, "Well, you feel… complete. You'll realise that you'll bring the best out of each other and only want to support them and their dreams." At the sound of that, your face fell. 

Kun wasn't your soulmate and you didn't understand why he was so against leaving you for his dreams. He has a soulmate waiting for him somewhere and he was ready to risk everything… for you. 

No, you couldn't let this happen. You had to leave the house, you had to leave him.

You reached home quickly after meeting Lilian. So far, everyone wasn't back from work yet and you thought that it was the best time to pack up. 

Thankfully, you didn't bring alot of things with you so packing was a breeze. 

Once everything was in your backpack, you looked over at the empty room that you stayed in. It was a simple room but you found so much joy and love staying in this house. 

You suddenly heard a bit of noise downstairs. You froze, scared that it was Kun. You walked out to see Sicheng walking up the stairs.

He hadn't realised your presence so when he saw you he jumped a bit. 

"Oh, it's just you." He smiled. But his face fell as soon as he noticed the empty and clean room.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" He asked wearily. You sighed and gave him a hug. 

"Don't tell Kun." You whispered. He knew what was happening. 

"Why?" He asked. You sighed, "I don't want to do this either. I love staying here with all of you but if me leaving is what it takes for him to go to Slovenia then I'll do it."

"Y/N, i don't think you realise how incredibly selfish this sounds." 

You scoff, "How? I want him to do what he wants and suddenly I'm the selfish one?" You raised your voice. 

"No Y/N, you're being selfish by leaving without even settling the topic with him." He replied. "Do you think he's going to be fine after all this happens? You're the first girl he's ever loved and how do you think he's going to feel when he realises you’re not home and that you left without even saying anything." 

You paused before continuing, "Kun… loves me?" You asked. 

"Of course he does! Have you not realised how much he cared for you? Y/N he was willing to give up everything after the two of you got together. Did you think you could hide it? All of us could see the love between the two of you." 

You massaged your temples, "Sicheng, you do realise if you stop me from leaving, Kun won't ever be able to leave for Slovenia." You said. 

"No, there are other ways you could do this. You don't have to leave him." 

"You were going to leave?" A sudden voice scared the both of you. 

There he was, eyebags forming under his eyes. 

"You were going to leave… without saying goodbye?" He walked closer to you. 

"Kun…" 

"No, I want to know why you thought that would've been a good idea?" He asked, his voice bouncing off the walls. 

"You said you wouldn't leave me so the only way for you to go was if-"

"If you left me?" He asked, his voice showing hurt. 

You nodded, too embarrassed to look at him. 

"For fuck sake." He sighed, before pulling your hand into your room and shutting the door behind him. 

"I swear, they'll be the death of me." Sicheng sighed as he walked into his room. 

"We are going to sit in here until we figure out a solution." He said. 

"Kun this isn't just because I want you to go. You have a soulmate out there and what if she was in Slovenia, huh?" You asked. 

"Y/N, I don't have a soulmate!" He yelled. "Do I look like I have a mark?.\" He yelled. 

"W-what?" You stuttered. "You don't have a mark too?" 

He sat beside you and held your hands, "Y/N, you make me so happy and I can't imagine life without you." 

"But Kun, I can't be happy knowing that you didn't go to Slovenia because of me." 

"Then I'll go. We'll do long distance, I'll do everything to make sure we're happy. Just, don't end it please." He hugged you, his head on your shoulder. 

You hugged him back, "i won't. Kun, thank you." You said. 

"Anything for you. I'm not gonna leave you, ever." 

It was the night before Kun's departure and everyone wasn’t feeling too great. 

The once lively and happy house had quiet down and had gone grey. 

"Guys, this is too depressing for a farewell party." He joked. 

"We can't help it. You leaving for a few years wasn't part of the contract of being friends." Yangyang replied. 

Everyone snickered at the young man. 

He stood up and raised his glass, "I'd like to propose a toast." He said.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for their support and love all this time. You guys mean the world to me and I wouldn't be able to go without your support." 

"Secondly, I'd like to thank Y/N for coming into my life and causing chaos in it." He teased. 

You narrowed your eyes and shook your head. 

"In all seriousness, I thought I'd never meet someone so talented, caring and well, different. I'm glad you're here." He held your hand and kissed the back of it. 

The guys all made kissy noises, Renjun and Jaemin were a sobbing mess. 

At that moment, everything felt right. Everything in life was perfect. 

He laid down beside you, both of just looking at each other.

“Who knew this would happen,” you whispered.

“I guess fate was kind to us and led us to each other.” he kissed your nose.

You snuggled closer, your face pressed against his chest.

“I don’t want things to change,” you said.

“And it won’t. I promise.”

“Passport?” you asked.

“Yeap.”

“Coat?”

“In  my carry on.”

“Phone?”

“Yes, Y/N. now stop worrying.” he chuckled as he kissed the top of your head.

‘I’ll call you whenever I’m free.” he said.

“Don’t worry, make sure you settle in properly then you call me,” you said.

Kun turned to his friends and gave them all big hugs. “I’m gonna miss you guys.” 

“We’ll miss you too,” Sicheng said.

“Kun, can you get me chocolates when you go to Belgium?” Ten asked. Everyone laughed, shaking their heads.

He gave you one last hug before walking away.

You turned around when you heard running behind you and when you turned around, Kun pulled you by the waist and gave you a kiss. 

The boys all turned away to give you two a little privacy.

He kissed you on your forehead, “I’m gonna miss you, Y/N.” he said.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” you said.

He had walked over to check-in, waving at you all before leaving.

You had your arm looped around Xiaojun and Yangyang when you saw a familiar face.

If you didn't look properly, you wouldn't have been able to recognize him.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, dad.” 

The cafe was quiet and small, you sat across from your father awkwardly.

“So, you're going for another trip?” you asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be in Japan for some business.” he stated.

“What about you? What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I was sending off a friend,” you replied.

“Is Lilian at home?” you asked. He shook his head, “She’s staying at her sister’s house for a while.”

“Ah, I see.” you nod. 

“Y/N?” he called. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m sorry… for everything.” he bowed his head.

“What?” you wouldn't believe what you were hearing. Your father has never apologised for anything before. Seeing him so vulnerable and sad was so foreign, you didn’t know how to react.

“I wasn't there for you when you needed a dad. I never realised how selfish i was. I thought marrying Lilian was a good idea because you would finally have a mother and you would be happy. I never thought it would create an even bigger gap between us. I’m really sorry i never thought of how you felt.” 

“I used to not understand why you always wanted to go to grandmas but then I realised it was because of me. I never became a good father,” he said.

You remained silent, you had no idea what to say or do. You walked over to his side and gave him a short hug.

“Thank you. Thank you for that,” you whispered. He hugged you back, a bit tighter.

“I’ll do my best to be a better father.” 

After meeting dad, you got a text from Kun.

Just boarded! I’ll text you when I arrive :)

You smiled and quickly typed, 

Have a safe flight! Make sure to get some rest, I’ll talk to you soon.

You took a cab to Renjun and Jaemin’s house. They wanted to celebrate finishing exams and they even brought along their soulmates for you to meet.

The door opened and you were greeted by Minseo.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” she said excitedly, “it’s so nice to finally meet you, in person!” she laughed.

You giggled and waved, “Is everyone here?” you asked, she nodded, “Yeah, we were waiting for you.” 

At the sound of your voice, Jaemin came running out of the kitchen.

“Hey, bubs!” he gave you a hug. “Did you just come back from the airport?” he asked. 

You nodded, “yeah, Kun’s plane just took off.” you informed.

“Who would’ve known the both of you would get together? Oh yeah, us!” Renjun rested his arm on Jaemin’s shoulder.

“Ha-ha, very funny,” you replied sarcastically. 

“But I’m happy and it seems like alot of things are good in life right now,” you answered. 

It’s been a few weeks since Kun left and he hasn’t had enough time to call you. With the time difference especially, you couldn’t find the right time to talk to him.

Even his messages were getting shorter and shorter. You sat at the piano in his room and played the song you were going to play with him.

You weren't sure if he was going to even attend graduation and you took the initiative to learn the song as a solo piece.

Sicheng walked in and saw you practising, “Hey, kiddo.” he sat beside you.

“Hi, Sicheng.” you smiled weakly.

“Still no calls?” he asked. You shook your head, “He’s probably really busy. That’s why i’m learning how to play this song alone.” you pointed.

He nods, “That’s good. Well, we’re going to start dinner soon. So, come down when you’re done.”

“Okay, see you later.” you waved.

It was two nights before graduation and it was pretty obvious he wasn’t coming back. He hasn’t even answered any of your messages.

You were slowly losing hope as you laid in your bed, thinking of him.

“Y/N! Can you come down for a sec?” Yukhei called. You begrudgingly went down. You heard chatter before a bunch of shushing.

“What is it?” you rubbed your eyes. 

The boys all grinned excitedly, “Well, y’ know how you told us you were going to just wear something you already owned for the dinner?” Xiaojun asked.

“Yes?” you eyed them. “Well, guess whose boyfriend just sent us this?” Hendery pulled a big white box from behind him.

“Wh-what? Kun sent this?” you pointed at the box. All of them nodded excitedly, “Straight from Paris!” Ten remarked.

You smiled happily, knowing that he still does think about you.

You took the box and opened the box slowly.

You let out a loud gasp, you pulled the gorgeous blue dress by its straps.

It was a beautiful flowy gown with a plunging neckline. 

Attached to the dress was a note, 

You can’t play Merry Go Round of Life without dressing like Sophie, my dear. It's a bit more modern but I hope you love it, Y/N. I'll return soon, I promise. 

You sighed dreamily, smiling like an idiot.

“Well, go on and try it!” Ten pushed you to the stairs. 

You ran up excitedly and quickly wore the dress. You gasped and awed at its beauty.

The glitter in the dress shined so beautifully and it fits you perfectly. You're surprised Kun knew your size so well. You looked at yourself and squealed.

“Y/N, come down here!” Sicheng called. 

You walked out of your room and posed dramatically at the top of the stairs.

“OHHH, LOOK AT HER!” They all praised and hyped you up. You did another pose and screamed.

“It’s beautiful!” you jumped. The boys all gave you a group hug, squealing and jumping together.

“Just dye your hair grey and we’ll be done!” Yangyang said as he showed the box of silver hair dye he bought.

Everyone paused and turned to you, “Wait what?” you asked.“When did he even buy that?” Xiaojun whispered to Yukhei. Yukhei shrugged and walked up to Yangyang, he pushed the box of dye slowly.

“Why don’t we bring her to the salon? Seriously, I don’t trust us to do that,” he said.

“I mean, I think it’s a good idea. It would be nice to change things up a bit.” you sat in between Xiaojun and Sicheng.

“Actually, my friend Darcie used to work at a salon. I could ask her to come over?” Ten suggested.

“That’s actually not a bad idea. Yeah, we’ll go buy the other stuff that she needs and we’ll just do it here,” you said.

“Sounds good! I’ll go call her.” Ten got up and went to make the phone call.

You sighed, “I can’t believe I’m graduating in two days.” you said. “I wish he was here though,” you admitted.

Sicheng wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “There, there. We’ll be there to cheer you on.” he smiled. “Jaemin bought the tickets for us the other day.”

“Thank you, guys.” 

“Good news! Darcie’s coming and she has all the equipment at her house. She’ll be coming in an hour.” he declared openly 

The guys all waited in the living room, waiting for you and Darcie to finish. 

They all instantly got up when they heard the toilet door open. 

“Let me introduce to you, the new Y/N!” Darcie announced.

You walked out of the toilet shyly, smiling nervously.

Darcie had done an amazing job, instead of dying your whole head silver, she added silver highlights instead.

The boys gasped, covering their mouths.

“YOU LOOK STUNNING!” Yukhei lifted you up and twirled you around. 

“Darcie, you really outdid yourself.” Ten fist-bumped Darcie.

“Let’s take a picture!” Xiaojun took out his Polaroid camera.  He set up the camera on the table and all of you posed. 

You looked at the picture and smiled fondly, everything was going great in life.

On the day of graduation, you sat at your vanity, curling your hair. Jaemin and Renjun walked in along with Minseo and with Ae Cha, Renjun’s soulmate.

“Hey, Y/N we’re he- OH MY GOD!” Jaemin screamed. “Your hair!” Renjun pushed Jaemin out of the way and gasped.

“Yeah, I wanted to change it a bit.” you chuckled nervously. Minseo came running and she squealed, “YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!” She praised.

“Thank you! You look amazing, Minseo.” you hugged her. 

Behind Renjun, you saw another figure. You walked towards her, “You must be Ae Cha! I’m Y/N.” you extended your hand and smile warmly. 

She shyly shook your hand, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

All of you spoke for a while when suddenly you heard a knock on the door.

“Y/N, we should be heading out,” Sicheng said. Sicheng wore a navy suit with silver detailing.

“Don’t you look handsome!” you praised. He blushed, “I tried.” he said bashfully. 

You sat in the car with Sicheng, Yukhei and Ten who wore their best suits. Ten wore a grey suit while yukhei wore a maroon suit with a floral shirt underneath.

“Are your parents coming?” Yukhei asked. You shook your head, “Dad’s trip got extended and Lilian had to take care of her mom. They did call me earlier though, it was nice.” you told them.

When you reached the ballroom of the university, you were amazed at how they managed to decorate it that well. Everyone definitely wore their best dresses and suits.

You found the table you were all sitting in, you sat down in between Xiaojun and Hendery.

You were just about to have a conversation with Xiaojun when your classmate tapped your shoulder.

“Y/N, you're the first performance after the speech. They need you backstage,” she informed you.

Your face fell, everyone at the table began cheering you on. You kind of received stares but you followed your classmate nervously.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the dinner will soon begin. Please take your seats.” the emcee announced.

The dean of the university was giving his speech and you were looking over your notes. 

“Without further delay, I’d like to invite our talented pianist, Miss Y/N.” 

You walked onto the stage, where the grand piano stood. 

“Miss Y/N will be playing Merry Go Round of Life,” they announced. 

“Alongside, rising musician and ex lecturer, Professor Qian!” at the sound of that, your eyes widen and you turn to the other side of the stage.

There he was, you never knew he could be any more handsome. He wore a white shirt and tucked it into a pair of black dress pants. Just like Howl.

He stood beside you, grabbing your hand and pulling you for a bow.

“Kun…” you said, not paying attention to the audience.

“Your hair, it’s just like starlight,” he whispered. “It’s beautiful.” he quoted Howl from the movie.

You couldn't believe he was here, both of you sat down on the bench and breathed in.

“Ready, love?” he asked.

“Now that you're here, I am.” you winked. 

You breathed in and began playing.

And just like that, it was as if nobody else was in the room. Both pianists worked together in harmony and the entire ballroom was in awe of the beautiful chemistry between them.

You eyed him and smiled, which he too smiled widely. You continued and for the first time in weeks, you got it.

You played it like the first time. Everything was there, the sweet, the smooth tune and the gentle way it radiated around the room.

Once the music stopped, the room was quiet before the roaring applause began.

Both of you stood up and bowed, holding one another's hands. Your friends were whistling and cheering loudly.

You giggled and faced Kun but your heart stopped. 

He was happy that he made it in time to play with her but when he turned he wasn't expecting to see,

 Yellow. True happiness. 

Both of you stood frozen, his eyes were yellow and so were yours.

Your soulmate mark… was your eyes. That’s why you couldn’t find it.

You ran backstage, pulling Kun with you.

“I love you,” you said before slamming your lips onto his. Kun pushed you gently against the wall, kissing you much more eagerly.

Thankfully, everyone was on the other side of the backstage so you took your time. He pulled you close, hugging your waist while you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

You kissed him so close that your whole body curved into his.

You pulled away, both of you panting at the kiss. Your eyes were close for a few moments before you opened them, you placed a hand on his cheek.

“I knew you were meant for me.” he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “And i love you too.” he gave you one more peck.

You rested your foreheads against each other, still in each other's arms, happy as ever. 

You walked out, hand in hand. Some gave you strange looks but you didn’t care. He was your soulmate and that’s all that matters.

Your classmates were all staring at you, whispering among each other. You caught them whispering so you decided to give Kun a kiss on the cheek.

Everyone’s stopped what they were doing before screaming and squealing. You giggle and pulled him to the table.

“Ah, making it public I see?” Hendery asked. 

Both of you looked at each other and smiled.

“Wait… oh my god.” Sicheng realised the look on your faces. Everyone reacted similarly.

“Everyone, this is Kun. My soulmate.” and with that, there were tears of joy, praises and plenty of hugs.

You took a walk at uni one last time, you told everyone you wanted some time to reminisce about your last time there.

You walked into the studio and smiled at the familiar setting. The piano at one corner and the many desks scattered everywhere.

You sat at the piano and thought of all the long practices you had with Kun, those moments that made you closer and closer. 

You decided to play one last song, For The Dancing and Dreaming. The song that made you friends in the first place.

You chuckled when you heard the door open.

“I knew you'd be here.” the honey-like voice said. You felt him hug you from the back, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Just enjoying my last time here,” you said, holding onto his hand.

“I know. I’m gonna miss this place too. So many great memories here.” he sighed.

You turned and faced him, kissing him once more. “Shall we go back?” you asked sweetly.

He nodded, “Yes please, I’m still very jet lagged.” both of you laughed.

When you got up from the bench, you stumbled slightly, a sudden pain shot up from your spine.

You suddenly saw you and Renjun in the studio. Why does that look familiar?

You held onto his hand while you pressed a hand against your head.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, he held your face in his hands.

“Y-yeah. I’m just feeling a bit dizzy. Let’s go home, yeah?” you smiled. 

He nodded and both of you walked out hand in hand.

The drive was quiet, Y/N had fallen fast asleep and Kun was smiling the entire way. 

You stretched, opening your eyes. 

"Hey, feeling better?" He asked. 

You nod, "A bit better."

You could only hear the sound of the air conditioner and the music. 

"Kun?" You called. 

"Yes, love?" He answered.

"Are you going to go back?" You asked.

He sighed, "I was actually gonna avoid this topic but no, I don't want to. Especially after finding out that you're my soulmate. I never wanna leave you." He held your hand and kissed the back of it. 

"B-but…"

"No buts Y/N. I'm staying. I'll continue being a lecturer." He said. 

"Kun, be honest, did you enjoy yourself when you were touring?" You asked. 

"Well yeah but I enjoy teaching as well so your point is invalid." He replied. 

"Kun, I can follow you. I'll travel with you if that means you'll continue." You pleaded. 

"I can't believe we're arguing about this again." His hand tightened on the steering wheel. 

"We don't have to! Kun, I don't mind following you. We'll still be together!" You said, voice a bit louder than before. 

"Yeah and leave your friends? I can't do that to you." He was getting irritated, you could see his knuckles turning white. 

"So what? You did it too!" You pointed out. 

"That's different." He muttered.

"How? In what way is it different?" You almost yelled. 

"It's because I can handle being alone!" He finally yelled back.

"Goddamnit Y/N, I can't go through what happened the other day. If you follow me, you'll only have me. If you stay at home you have the boys, your friends and family." 

"Kun, I can always make new friends!"

"Enough! I don't want to he-" 

Suddenly, a loud honk was heard and Kun swerved to the side. The last thing you heard was him calling your name and screaming. A weird buzz began tickling your body and suddenly, everything went black.

"Y/N?" You heard a muffled voice. You opened your eyes but it was still black.

"Kun? Kun! Why can't I see?!" You yelled. 

"Woah, Woah bubs. You're okay." You heard Jaemin's voice. 

"Nana, Where's Kun? Is he okay?" You tried to get off the bed but you fell.

"Y/N!" Renjun yelled, picking you up. 

"I can't see, Nana, Injunnie what's going on? Where's Kun?!" 

"Baby, who are you talking about?" 

It's been a year since you lost your eyesight. You sat in your bed and cried. You lost your soulmate as quick as he came.

"Is she okay?" Lilian asked her husband. He shook her head, "She's been crying every night. I don't know what to do. The doctors still don't know how she lost her eyesight. Renjun said she just fainted." He drank his coffee. 

"Sweetie, what about we bring her for a concert? A pianist is coming to town. I think she would enjoy it very much." Lilian suggested. 

"That would be nice. Let's go ask her." Both of your parents knocked on your door. 

"Sweetie, can we talk?" Your father shook your body slowly. 

You wiped your nose, "sure." They helped you sit up.

"Y/N, how would you like to go to a concert? A famous pianist is in town and I think you'll enjoy it very much." Lilian suggested.

You sighed, "What's the use. It's not like I can properly enjoy it." You complained. They both gave you a hug, Lilian rubbing your back gently.

"Baby, you haven't gone out in ages. Jaemin and Renjun miss you alot." Lilian said. 

"Please? I think you'll love it." Your dad asked once more. 

You groaned, "Sure. Why not?" You agreed. 

Renjun and Jaemin immediately gave you a hug. You missed seeing their faces so much and just seeing things.

Every minute you're awake, all you can see was Kun's beautiful brown eyes. 

"C'mon, it's starting." Your father ushered you in. 

The moment the song played, your heart broke. 

The pianist was playing Merry Go Round of Life. 

"Mom, can you please bring me to the toilet?" You pat her hand. 

"Of course sweetie." She said.

Once you entered the toilet, you began crying your heart out. You miss his touch, his kisses, his kindness and his stubborn habit of not following what he wants. You cried realising that your last time with him was wasted on a useless fight.

You cried and sobbed when you felt a hand touch your face. 

You gasped, "Lilian?" 

"No, dear. It's me." That voice… Cyan!

"Cyan? Is that you?" 

"Yes, Y/N. I’m sorry everything turned out so badly." 

"Cyan, please I need to see him." You begged. 

"I know, love. Which is why I'm telling you this." 

"Once you go to that world, all memory of you will disappear in this one and all the lost memories of you will return to those in the other world." 

"The choice is yours." 

You stood up and breathed out.

"Anything for him." 

She chuckled, "Good. Now, be good when you reach that world." She snapped her fingers and suddenly you fell to the ground, the cold tiles coming in contact with your skin.

When you woke up, the white light blurred your vision but you could see again. You looked at yourself in the mirror and you slowly touched your face. 

You began tearing up when you heard the applause from outside. 

You ran out of the toilet and searched around. You began running around when you bumped into a hard chest.

"Woah, you okay?" Jaemin asked. He looked at you closely, "Y/N, are you okay?" You knew that both Jaemins was the same but you couldn't help but hug him. Once you saw Renjun as well, you ran and gave him a hug. 

"What happened?" He asked. Jaemin came towards you and shrugged. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the man of the night." You heard someone announce. 

When you turned around you saw him.

The love of your life. But he looked so different, instead of his once lively features, he looked tired and emotionless. 

"QIAN KUN!" you yelled. 

No… that can't be her

"KUN!" 

"Y/N?" He looked around when his eyes landed on you. 

He stood frozen, not believing that you were there. You ran to him and immediately looped your arms around him.

"Where have you been, my love?" He hugged you back, sobbing as he asked. 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Both of you sank to the floor not letting go of one another. You cried together, forehead pressed against each other. 

You pressed your lips to him, holding his head in your hands. Tears streaming both of your faces, both not ever wanting to let go, ever. 

You woke up, stretching your body. You turned and saw Kun sleeping soundly. His bare chest rose and fell, his breathing steady. 

You turned to the balcony of your hotel room. You tied your robe and walked out, inhaling the cold air of Vienna. 

You watched the figures walking around and you smiled. 

A pair of strong hands wrapped around your waist. "Baby, come back to bed." He kissed the nape of your neck. 

"Good morning, Kun." You greeted sweetly. 

"Good morning, baby." He rested his chin on your shoulder, shutting his eyes.

"You'll have to get up soon, Kun. We have a performance at 3." He groaned.

"Don't remind me." He sighed. 

You chuckled and turned around, wrapping your hands around him.

"Y'know I love you right?" You asked. 

He kissed your forehead, "Of course. I love you too." 

"And I promise to never leave you, ever." You said. "I'll be here with you until we're old and wrinkly."

He chuckled and kissed your lips, "I like that." He said. 

You smiled and rested your head on his chest. 

"I love you."

"And I love you."

As they stood there in each other’s arms, they had not realised that both their wishes from the festival had come true.

Hers was to not be alone and to be loved.

And he was to find his soulmate and love her forever. 

#nct #wayv #nct fluff #nct blurbs #nct angst #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv fluff #wayv angst #wayv blurbs #wayv drabbles #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #qian kun #kun fluff #kun angst #kun blurbs #kun drabbles #kun imagines #kun scenarios #studentxprofessor #soulmate collab

[asteroiideae]

1, 4, and 7 for the meta writer ask!

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Right now, I’m primarily writing on text-based rpg forums (specifically a Harry Potter one, at the moment, because I’m still a basic sixteen year old at heart I guess lol) but I’ve recently started writing a series of vignettes based on my Scum & Villainy TTRPG party, which has also been a lot of fun! It’s difficult to measure “progress” on my text-based rpg writing, but I’ve been on the same forum for about six months now, running 12 characters, and nearly all of them are heavily involved in the plot, which I consider an accomplishment! My S&V vignettes I’ve only just begun -- debating whether or not anyone would be interested in reading them/whether I should post them up anywhere. I think what I love most about both projects is that they’re purely collaborative! I’m working with other people, their concepts, their goals, and I have come to absolutely adore using my writing (and improv) to support other people’s creative pursuits. ** gonna go out of order so I can drop my writing under a read more, if I can lol 7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree? Oh man this is such a difficult one to answer???? I don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about my writing style, honestly. I tend to write from my gut -- I don’t pre-plan a lot, I just immerse myself into my character and then whatever gets written down is what’s happening? (pour one out for my writing partners who get a rough 20 minute response without my proof-reading or editing!) But I guess probably what I’d say I’m known for in my writing circles is my strong sense of character? I’m pretty good at shifting language/pacing/style to suit whatever character voice I’m attempting to convey, and I spend most of my focus on developing those voices. lol idk I don’t consider myself particularly gifted at, or known for, anything beyond that. (Maybe, negatively, I’m bad about utilizing setting. Where the fuck is this scene taking place???? I sure as shit don’t know. I’ve been trying to work on improving that, though.) 4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like) 

Jess, you really came in with the ones I knew I’d struggle with! lol I tend not to be shy about things I know I do well, but I always squirm a little when asked what I like about my writing, for some reason. But! I’ll share two recent pieces that I liked -- gonna drop them under a read more, but I’ll say what I like about them here. 1. The first is a post from my Harry Potter rpg? I really liked it because I don’t often write hardened/wearied characters in such long-standing relationships? So getting to do an entire thread between a mutually-battered couple cleaning each up after a fight is shockingly intimate, and heart-warming, and idk I really love the way this post in particular came out, as a result. 2. I wrote this literally last night as a warm-up! In my Scum & Villainy game I swap between playing twins, and I hadn’t gotten to play as Ditha for several months, so I wanted to get back into her headspace -- which I did by writing something not in her POV? It’s very short, but I love how neatly it captures and introduces who Ditha Thorn is as a woman, without being long or complicated. from this post, if anyone else wants to receive a novel about my writing I guess.

1. Csilla Voronin & Alastor Moody (from Lightning Struck Itself)  Csilla Voronin looks down at Alastor Moody, and raises her eyebrow just a fraction. "I'm in better shape than you are." It's probably true; she's still got all her parts attached, and only the one (admittedly larger and absolutely cursed) wound to contend with. What it isn't however, is entirely true. Csilla is good at lying to everyone but this man, which is why she usually deflects rather than tries to outright tell him an untruth. Her fingers gently run through Alastor's blood-matted hair. It's not worth pressing him to see someone tonight; not in the least, because she wants to tuck him into bed as badly as he wants her to. "Alright." "As if I've ever been paid a wage." The retort comes easier to her lips than the more honest answer: nothing about this relationship is above, or below, her. She draws her fingers from his hair, now safely pushed back from his ear, and studies the mess; sighs, a sound more empathetic than anything else. "It's going to hurt like a bitch." As she draws away, Csilla drops a brief kiss into the crease of Alastor's forehead, using her forearms against the tub to push herself upright. She picks up her wand in one hand, and disappears through the door into the hallway beyond - only to return a moment later with the first aid kit from the kitchen table. She drops the thing onto the sink, and begins to rummage through it. Alcohol wipes, and gauze, tumble out of the kit and into her hands, and she tucks a few between her palm and her wand. "Were you going to ask me something?" She reaches for the distraction, even as she pauses to shimmy out of her trousers, and drops them unceremoniously atop the messy sink. The first aid supplies go onto the toilet lid, while she toes out of her socks. "Or are you just tired?" Either is possible, but Csilla privately suspects the latter. Free of her socks, she balances one hand on the side of the tub, and carefully sets one foot in, nudging Alastor until she can lower herself into the water, knees trapping his thighs between them. She summons the first of the alcohol wipes into her hand with a lazy flick of her wand, and carefully tears it open. All the warning he gets is a steady, apologetic, glance -- and she presses the wipe to the soot-and-blood caked remains of his ear. Her free hand holds his shoulder back against the porcelain, and her legs pin him mercilessly down. Better to get it over with quickly, than to draw the affair out. 2. Ditha Thorn, Scoundrel (from Scum & Villainy; The Morning Glory) It’s just warm enough that the air carries the earthy aroma of cow dung; it’s hardly romantic, but that’s what spring smells like - the ground thaws, and with it, the excrement from innumerable livestock herds. The young woman sprawled on the faded plaid blanket doesn’t seem to notice it, though. She’s leaned back on her forearms, long hair brushing the blanket as she tips her head back to look at the stars. Beside her, a similarly aged boy traces a shape in the air. “Do you see it? Right there, that little blinking light.” He jabs his finger at the sky suddenly, a grin spilling out over his features. “That’s the place, I think. If they’ll take me, I’ll go there to train.” The girl’s expression cools as she narrows her eyes on that point; the youthful curves of her face going hard with disapproval. “What if they don’t?” He sighs, shrugging out of his jacket suddenly, and dropping it on the girl’s legs. For a while, the only sound is the rustling of the late winter breeze through the shorn stalks of corn in the field around them. Although the girl’s expression doesn’t change, she scoops up the leather jacket, slides her arms into the sleeves and wraps it around her shoulders. “Then I guess I’ll be stuck here, too.” He leans forward, wraps his arms around his knees. “I’m not stuck here,” the girl says suddenly. She sits up, drawing her knees to her chest in a mirror of his own posture. “I’m leaving after graduation, there’s nothing on this rock for me.” That uncomfortable silence returns, and the boy shifts back and forth, clearly trying to find a way to dispute her words - but unwilling to do so while sitting alone with her in the dark. The moons begin to creep towards the horizon, the light fades, before either of them speaks again. “Everyone’s stuck here, Ditha.” He drops his arms, pushes himself off the ground and onto his feet. “Maybe your sister’s smart enough to find a school or a job willing to take her, and maybe the Legion will take me, but what do you think you’re gonna do to get out of here?” The girl, Ditha, blinks several times - her eyes still fixed on the stars. “Sounds like a challenge.” A slight huff is the only response to her quiet statement; the boy has known Ditha long enough to know the worst thing to do is dare her to something. Instead he bends down to tug gently on the blanket. “Come on, Di. It’s time to go.” She stands up, lets him lift and shake the sandy dirt out of the blanket, watches him fold it with eyes that barely reflect the faint light in the dark. When he offers her his hand, after tucking the blanket under his arm, she shakes her head. “I’ll find my own way back to town,” she says, in a tone of voice he’s never heard before. He shrugs, turns toward his truck - she’ll probably follow, he thinks. Where else is she going to go? But when he reaches the vehicle, turns with his hand on the door, Ditha Thorn is nowhere to be seen.

#ask post #aster writes fic #lol oh my god I am so sorry this is so long #please forgive me Jess I always do this

[newtsshelbys]

A New Home | Neighbour AU | Prologue

Prompt: “Hey, I locked myself out, can stay at your place until my roommate comes home?”

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Fem!Reader, Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N’s life couldn’t have been more ordinary. She lived together in an apartment with her sister, while being a student at the nearby college. The small flat next to hers stood empty for a while now, until one day two young men moved in. What at the beginning seemed like a simple new encounter, tured out to turn her world upside down.

Warnings: swearing (future warnings will be added to each chapter as the story progresses)

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: I’ve finally got some time to write again. Imma be honest with you, I don’t know how far I’m gonna be able to take this story. I’m going to write it as long as I have ideas and have fun doing it. It also depends on the feedback this is getting, if no body wants to read it, i’ll probably not continue writing it. Anyways, I used the prologue to kind of explain the readers situation and to get to know her surroundings. I hope you enjoy!

Prologue Chapter 1

—

Your day was not really eventful, but still at the end of it you found yourself exhausted on the couch in the living room, glad that you made it through another day of work and college. You were lying there already changed into your PJ’s, a plate of noodles placed in your lap, watching the new season modern family on Netflix.

At the moment, you should actually be doing your homework but you figured that if you’d get up earlier the next day, you could still do your homework in the morning right before class. You hated that you were the kind of person who had to procrastinate everything and get it done at the very last minute. Even though at the end, you always had your assignments due on time, you had to give yourself credit for that. You just hated that you put yourself through all this extra pressure due to lack of time. But maybe that’s exactly what you needed. Otherwise, you wouldn’t get anything done, ever.

You had finished your dish, put it in the dishwasher and allowed yourself to have a drink. So, you took a glass and a wine bottle with you on your way back to your comfortable couch. After pouring yourself a glass, you were just about to press start on the third episode of the season as your front door opened.

Your head shot up in a quick movement and you were greeted by the figure of your sister and roommate, who apparently just went grocery-shopping then she was carrying three grocery bags and was currently struggling to get the door open.

“A little help?” she yelped, one bag slowly slipping out of her grip.

So, you got up and held the door open while taking a bag from her. As the bags were all put on the kitchen counter, she mumbled a quick “thanks” and went to take her shoes off. The two of you started to put the groceries away.

“How was your day?” you asked her while putting the butter and the cheese into the fridge.

“Bruh, don’t even ask.” she started, still kind of on edge, “After I dropped Frankie off at our parents’ house, my car suddenly broke down so, I was late to work on a day I was specifically told not to be late. And after that my whole day basically just went to shit. And the worst part of it all, at the store they were out of my favourite ice cream.”

Frankie was your dog. The cutest little corgi someone could ever imagine. Sometimes you had to give her to your parents, though. Every time you knew the both of you were going to have some rough days or even weeks and with that probably not enough time to properly take care of a dog, you decided to give her to your parents. Also, your parents loved her. They would never admit that because they were always against you two having a dog in your own apartment, but after meeting Frankie for the first time, they instantly fell head over heel in love with her. So, they didn’t mind watching her from time to time. And with your finals coming up and your sister being especially busy the next few weeks at work due to a project she soon needed to present, there was sadly not enough time for a dog at the moment.

You didn’t like giving Frankie away. Not because you didn’t trust your parents with her. You knew they were going to take good care of her. Much rather because you always felt bad. To you it always felt like someone could think you didn’t want to take time out of your day for her, to pet her or play with her, which was definitely not the case. You just simply couldn’t. Also, you hated not having her around. She was your favourite part about coming home. She always lightened up your mood and you loved playing with her or simply just cuddling with her in bed after a stressful day. But you knew it was the best for her to give her away for a few days, because you knew you couldn’t take care of her, the way you wanted to.

Your sister was working in a graphic office and was on her way to become a concept artist. She started there as an assistant. Like, the kind to bring you your coffee and your lunch. She didn’t really do much artsy stuff. But as time went by, she started to really proof herself to her boss and everybody else at the office. So, after two years of working there, she was involved in little design projects here and there and often was asked for her opinion. A few months back she got the chance to develop a project all on her own. She always told you it was nothing big, but you knew this was really nerve wracking for her. She started to work more and come home late. So, at evenings you were often alone. At the start you felt kind of lonely, because you were used to your sister coming home and eat dinner with you for your whole life. But as soon as you realized how much this actually meant to her, you found a way of dealing with it. At the end, you always still had Frankie.

“What about you? Did you finally talk to that cute guy from work you’ve been talking about for days?” she teased, the smirk on her face growing. She knew she would get on your nerves with that one.

“No, I didn’t. Well, I kinda did because I have to work with him. And I’m not talking about him often, shut up. I don’t even know him!”, You flinched back at her.

“Maybe you should change that.” she started. You wanted to interrupt her, but she just kept talking, “Y/N all you ever do is come home and be in your room, studying or lay on our couch all day. You barely go out anymore. And it has been over three years since you introduced me to someone you really like.”

You rolled your eyes at your sister. She knew that meeting new people and especially dating wasn’t as easy for you as it was for her. Since she was sixteen, you’ve never witnessed her being single for more than three months.

“You sound like Mom.”

“I’m just worried about you.” she assured you and slightly stroke your hair.

“Well, don’t be. I’m doing great on my own, thanks.”

The bags that only ten minutes ago were filled with groceries are now empty and its content safety stored in your cupboards and fridge. You decided it was time to end this argument and go back to your series.

“Anyways” your sister changed the subject, which you were very thankful for, as she was following you to the couch in the living room, “I wanted to tell you that the new neighbours are gonna move in on Monday”

You groaned and threw your head back, new neighbours, great. You knew it was silly and not going to happen, but you hoped that the apartment right next to yours would stay empty forever. Or at least for as long as you lived in this apartment building. Your last neighbours weren’t quite the match. Also, on Monday started your two weeks off. You got a whole two weeks off of college to study for your finals. So, you were actually hoping for it to be a rather quiet day.

“I know, I know. But I heard it’s going to be two guys, around our age. Maybe they are cool.” your sister explained a little bit too optimistic for your liking.

“I thought maybe we could, I don’t know, bake them a cake or something” she suggested.

“A what? Why would we do that?” your head shot up and you looked at your sister in confusion.

Meanwhile, she spotted the wine bottle on the coffee table in front of you and made her move to pour herself a glass.

“Because maybe it will set us of for a good start. And who knows, maybe they are cute.” she pointed out, shrugging her shoulders while a small smirk was forming on her face.

“Lu, you have a boyfriend!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air.

“I meant for you! For fucks sake.”

There we fucking go again. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at this comment. Your sister wasn’t wrong, though. Maybe a kind gesture like that could set the foundation to get along well in the future, because you really didn’t want history to repeat itself. And maybe who knows, you were going to have a somewhat decent relationship with your new neighbours.

“Fine, lets bake them a cake, whatever.” you agreed.

“Great!” your sister smiled “you’ll have to make it though.”

“What? Why?” you hissed at her, getting up from your comfortable lying position, sitting up straight to be eye to eye with her.

That was typical for your sister. She suggested something and at the end you had to do all the work to make it actually happen. You loved your sister, but that was a character property that really got on your nerves.

“I have to work on Saturday and on Sunday I’m at Matt’s.” she casually explained, taking a sip wine from the glass you originally put there for yourself.

“I really can’t believe you”, you took the whine glass out of her hand and emptied it, “Fine, I’ll do it.”

Matt was your sister’s boyfriend. They were dating for almost a year now and you could tell that your sister really liked him. You liked him too. He was always nice when he was around and he was good for your sister.

Shortly after your little argument, the two of you just continued watching Netflix where you left of. At around eleven o’clock your sister decided it was time for her to get ready for bed. So, she got up and wished you a good night, putting a kiss on the top of your head.

“Good night, love you.” you retorted, watching her on her way to the bathroom.

“Love you too.” she closed the door behind her.

At around twelve you also got up to call it quits for today. You cleaned up the living room and soon after went to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Ten minutes later you were found in the warm comfort of your bed sheets, fast asleep.

Saturday afternoon you were standing in front of an empty bowl in your kitchen, the flower and milk standing right next to it. Fuck it. You went to get your car keys from your nightstand, put on some shoes and were off to the supermarket where you ended up buying a cake which you could easily make look like you did it yourself.

You’ve barely seen your sister all weekend which meant you had the whole apartment for yourself, which you usually liked. But after quite some time it can get kind of lonely. You took the time to prepare your studying for the next two weeks, though. Which for you meant, making sure there were enough snacks around.

On Monday, your sister still hasn’t shown up. You were up at around 9 am. You made yourself breakfast and ate it while continuing watching modern family. At ten o’clock you decided it was finally time to get some work done. Studying went great for the first half of the day. The new neighbours were always at the back of your mind, though. You were wondering when they were arriving and what they would be like.

At around two in the afternoon, you first heard some people talk outside in the hallway. You instantly assumed the new neighbours arrived. So, you got up from the kitchen table and went to prepare the cake. For you their arrival came at the perfect time, because you really needed a break from starring down at your books. If you were honest, they could have shown up at any time of the day and you would have been glad to have a reason to not study.

The cake was done quickly. You just melted some chocolate and used it as cake glaze and after you also put some sprinkles over it. Even though you barely did anything, you were proud of how “your” cake looked. You also continued to hear people walking and talking in the hallway, right next to your apartment, which assured you that the new neighbours were actually here.

So, now you had to plan out how you were going to do this. Was it easier to wait until they are finished getting everything in the apartment? They don’t need some random girl trying to put something in their hands while they are busy carrying boxes. On the other hand, they’re maybe glad about a snack as strengthening.

That’s also a point you very much disliked about yourself. You overthought everything. Even such a silly and innocent thing as bringing your neighbours a cake. At this point, your sister was usually taking over. She was way better at talking to strangers and new people in general. She just had way more charisma than you. Bad thing for you was just, your sister was no where to be seen. So, you could either wait until she got home, even though you had no idea when she would show up again, neither did you want to listen to another of her speeches about how you have to handle stuff like this on your own and just talk to people. “It’s not that difficult, you just talk to them.” Yeah, no shit Luna. Never would have come up with that idea…

As you were thinking about the scenario in your head you ultimately decided to just bring the cake over like right now. Just to prove your sister wrong. Within thirty seconds you were standing in the hallway carefully carrying the cake on a plate. As you turned your head to the right, you saw multiple packing boxes pilled up in front of the front door of the apartment next to yours. As you spotted them, you instantly regretted the decision you just made about a minute ago. You were about to turn on your heel and walk straight back into your apartment, but as you were about to turn, a young man around your age, carrying yet another box to the entrance of their flat, turned the corner and with that irrevocable appeared in your sight. The boy, much to your dislike, spotted you instantly and you froze in your tracks.

“Oh, hey” he started and placed the box he was currently carrying on the ground and made his way over to you. “I’m Harrison. You must be our neighbour. Nice to meet you.”

He held his hand out for you to take it.

You had to agree on with your sister on one thing: This boy right in front of you was quite the eye-catcher. You’d never say that out loud, though. He had somewhat short, ash blond hair and was not extraordinary tall, neither was he small. You could also get to the conclusion that he was doing sport when you looked his figure up and down. But the feature that most stood out about him, were his ice blue eyes. You had never seen eyes like this before.

You were struggling to shake his hand with the cake still in your hand. He must have noticed that, so he just went in for a short one-armed hug. Ah, A hugger, you thought.

“Yeah, hi. I’m Y/N.” was everything that you said before your mind went blank. That’s what always happened. You already pictured yourself standing here in an awkward silence for another five minutes until you began to slowly moving backwards into your apartment while he dedicated his attention back to his boxes.

But to your relief, Harrison was quite the talker.

“So, for how long have you been living here” he asked, seemingly still excited about the new encounter.

“About two years now.” you somewhat stuttered, your mouth speaking before you could even think about the question.

“You think we made the right choice with the apartment then?” he wondered, pointing at his open apartment door.

“Yeah- yeah, sure. The apartments are great. And it’s also pretty quiet around here as well.” you somehow managed to answer and at the same time hoping this wasn’t about to change with their arrival.

“Sounds great” Harrison retorted, an excited smile forming on his face.

It was quiet for a few second as Harrison’s eyes spotted the cake you were carrying in your hands once again. As you realized what he was looking at, the purpose of this whole thing came back to your mind.

“This- This is for you by the way” you held the cake right into his face.

“Really? Thank you so much!”

Just as he was about to the cake out of your hand his friend appeared behind him, also who would have guessed it, carrying boxes.

“Hey Harry, we got like the best neighbour ever” he looked over his shoulder at his curly haired friend which speared no time to make his way over to the both of you, “She made us a cake!”

“It’s from me and my sister, to welcome you in the apartment building and as our new neighbours” you explained, your hands now behind your back since you didn’t know what else to do with them.

“Awesome, thank you. You gonna regret that, though” the curly haired boy said and smirked slightly as he went back to carry the boxes into their shared flat.

“He’s just joking” Harrison clarified, making a note in his head to slap his friend at the back of his head later.

“Would you stop flirting and help me with our stuff, dickhead?” you two head harry shout form inside the flat. Oh, this boy is definitely going in for it, Harrison thought.

If your eyes did not completely betray you, you could see a slight blush forming on Harrison’s face, which you unintentionally mimicked.

“I gotta go, sorry. But thanks again for the cake”, Harrison thanked you a last time.

“Yeah, totally. I also gotta get some stuff done. And it’s no problem.”, you slowly started to take little steps backwards in the direction of your apartment door.

He waved at you and soon disappeared through the door frame into his apartment, “For fucks sake, what was that for?”, you could hear him slightly hiss, before you yourself closed the door to your apartment.

So, you know officially met your new neighbours. But not even in your wildest dreams you could have imagined what was about to come.

#Harrison Osterfield #Tom Holland #Harrison Osterfield x Reader #Harrison x Reader #Tom Holland x Reader #Tom x Reader #Neighbour AU #AU #Fem!Reader #Reader insert

[guardiandae]

Meta/Commentary Part 2: A Little ‘XO’ Wouldn’t Go Amiss

(Spoilers below)

(CONTENT WARNING: mental illness, self harm and suicidal ideation mentions)

So when we left off, Nate and Wade had their first real interaction / moment of demonstrated compassion, even if it’s a rough one. Wade flirts, Nate sucks the rancid blood out of his lungs, then tells Wade to clean up their disgusting kitchen and he’ll actually make Wade a meal.

Which is like. Wow. Exciting. Peak interaction and peak affection from Nate so far. Wade actually makes an effort because a homecooked meal from Mr. Grumpy is the nicest thing he’s ever heard and then he waits and waits for Nate to come back and follow through on his promise and Nate.... totally forgets.

Ooof.

So Wade is left fending for himself, and trying to find a way to make quick cash (because Nate has control of Wade’s finances.. and Nate forgot to feed him. Sob.) So he finds someone who thinks he looks enough like Spider-Man to hire him and then this happens.

"Fuck you, Spiderman, you suck!"

"Yeah? That wasn't what your dad said last night," Wade countered. "Or maybe it was, 'cus I'm Spiderman and I love banging old dudes."

The guy had just given him a withering look. "Dude. Whatever gets you off," he muttered, walking away.

"Wait. It's that easy?" Wade wondered aloud, not sure if he was relieved or disappointed by the lack of a fight. He tried not to think about it too much.

Foreshadowing? Oh hell yeah, foreshadowing. Wade is old enough to remember when it wasn’t okay to just... openly admit anything outside of cisheteronormative standards, and this guy not rising to the bait and just saying ‘whatever’ is kind of whiplash. 

-

Wade felt his brain short out when he saw Nate standing with just a towel around his waist.

(Oh no, he's hot. I mean, we already knew that but now he's like, naked and stuff.)

[Is that even legal?]

"Shut up," Wade said, pressing a hand to his head. They were back. Why were they back???

(Why do you think?)

Yeah. So I feel like Wade’s ‘boxes’ are partly like a way for his subconscious to yell at him about all of the stuff he’s trying to ignore. And some of that is really bad stuff for him, that he shouldn’t listen to, like his self hatred and anxieties and suicidal thoughts. But then there are thoughts like these, like his attraction to Nate, his need to be listened to and shown even the barest scraps of respect/affection/kindness, but he thinks he doesn’t deserve any of that and won’t say it.

Like, when Nate remembers that he fucked up and forgot about his promise to make Wade dinner:

"Well… at least your kitchen is clean," Nate said. "That's a reward in itself."

(A reward in itself? What kind of asshole says that?)

[The kind that throws away Hello Kitty post it notes.]

"Yeah, I'm gonna agree with the little yellow box on this one," Wade said. "Doing a chore isn't a reward in itself. A reward is a reward."

While Wade’s ‘boxes’ are overall really toxic for him in this fic, they can be a good thing! If it weren’t for his boxes, Wade wouldn’t have been able to process through the fact that Nate disappointed him and caused him suffering and tell him that it was kind of shitty and not okay and end up making Nate promise to actually follow through because it was important to him!!

-

"You know there aren't any boxes, right, Wade?" Nate asked him. "They aren't really in your head."

"I know that," Wade said. "But they still won't shut up.”

Foreshadowing. And also, in this moment, imo, it’s basically giving Wade the opportunity to say, yes I know it’s ‘not real’ but it’s still real. Which is like. The biggest mental illness mood. Of course... they’re kind of referring to two different things, once again. Having different conversations. Wade thinks Nate can’t hear half of his conversation, and Nate must think he’s nuts. Of course, SPOILERS, Nate can hear every single thing that Wade is saying, because he’s talking to himself, and the entire time Nate is trying to asses how the fuck to handle what’s going on and how serious this is.

-

"What do you want to watch?" Nate asked, so casually, it took Wade a long moment to realize that Nate was talking to him, and an even longer moment for his brain to short out.

"What…?"

"What do you want to watch?" Nate asked again, as if this was something that they'd ever done before.

(Nate's never watched TV with us. What's happening???)

[Pity. He knows we're losing it.]

The sad thing is, Wade’s inner thoughts aren’t wrong. It takes hearing Wade’s inner thoughts for himself and seeing him struggle and realizing how badly Wade’s been affected just because Nate has ignored him and given him the cold should so many times... to realize that he needs to give Wade a little bit of kindness. But it feels like it’s coming from pity instead of genuine interest  and pity fucking sucks.

"Nate. I know you don't like being around me," Wade said, slowly. "This isn't your problem, so don't worry about it."

and then he locks himself in the bathroom and tries to just drown out the voices until he can fall asleep, in the bathtub, because mood.

Meanwhile, Nate is concerned, but not showing it well because his concern quickly turns back into anger:

"Please, Wade. Listen to me, not them. These things in your head, they aren't real, okay?" Nate tried to reason with him. "I know it feels like what they're saying is true, but I promise you they aren't right. Not about you. Not about us. Come out of there, alright? Come on, Wade. For fuck's sake, I'm trying to talk to you, isn't that what you wanted? Get the fuck out."

After a while of yelling, Nate realized that Wade had gone quiet. He stopped, trying to get a hold of his anger, his… if he was honest… fear. Fear of losing Wade.

He could use telekinesis to force the lock. He could also break the door down, easily.

Nate pressed his hands against the door, listening. On the other side, he heard Wade humming tunelessly to himself. Drowning out the voices. Drowning out Nate.

He curled his fingers against the cheap faux-wood door and tried to will himself to stop. To calm down.

Nate is starting to understand, to take little steps. He knows he’s already starting to slip up right out of the gate and he knows he needs to stop pushing right now or he’ll only push Wade away.

-

Wade had been talking to himself for a long, long time.

And Nate hadn't really spoken to anyone for almost as long.

This is the point where Nate starts to realize that they both have problems to address. Nate’s behavior (withdrawing/isolating, anger, not communicating) isn’t just toxic for himself, which he’d be fine with, but it’s also eroding Wade’s mental health at the foundation. Even when Nate is interested or concerned for Wade, he doesn’t express it in a way that Wade can recognize. Concern looks like disgust because Wade is so used to the latter; smiling at Wade’s jokes/flirting is interpreted as dark and aggressive because they’re both thinking about two different things; he reads Wade’s cute little notes but throws them away because first he thinks Wade is making fun of him and then he either doesn’t know how to react or the reminder of Wade’s concern/affection makes him uncomfortable because from his perspective he’s offered nothing in return. And if he could just communicate how he felt on his end, Wade wouldn’t be left feeling like Nate hated his fucking guts.

The next morning, Wade is still locked in the bathroom, which means Nate is forced to make an effort to communicate with him, because now he realizes that leaving the house while Wade is still potentially in crisis mode could cause Wade to keep spiraling.

He was ready to go out the door, but at the last second it occurred to him that Wade might wake up and see that Nate had left and take it in the worst way possible. When it came to dealing with Wade, you always had to think to yourself, 'What is the worst case scenario?' and then go a couple steps beyond that. If Nate left without leaving a note, he could come back to Wade giving him the cold shoulder, or he could come back to find the entire building burned to ground.

[Went out.]

There. Simple and to the point.

Ah, fuck. Maybe that was too simple. Wade would think he wasn't coming back, because he was a fucking idiot.

[Went out. Be back later.]

That was still a little bit impersonal. Nate didn't want Wade to think he didn't care about his wellbeing.

[Went out. Be back later. Don't off yourself.]

That was better.

But if Wade actually read this note, Nate also didn't want him to think he could hole up in the bathroom again. That shit got old fast.

[Went out. Be back later. Don't off yourself. Or lock yourself in the bathroom again.]

Nate stared at the note, written on a pastel pink background with little cartoon kittens and hearts and flowers and sweets, and felt a mild panic.

[Fucker], he added hastily, and then left before he had time to second-guess himself.

Nate is still very much in I-don’t-even-like-him denial mode, but this process of thought while he’s writing his note? Ooooh. This is art, baby. Nate is actually concerned about how Wade will react if he leaves the message too short, too uncaring. And then has to add a little ‘fucker’ at the end because hello tough guy points, keep those in the millions. Give Wade an inch, he’ll take a mile.

And of course, when Wade gets up and finds the note, his reaction is, This is a love note. And by all rights... it basically is. It’s the first tangible scrap of evidence Nate has given him that he cares about Wade’s well-being at all, and he cherishes the hell out of it.

Which makes it all the more painful when Wade realizes he was careless and threw that scrap of paper, Proof Nate Cares About Me, into the wash with the rest of his clothes and now it’s destroyed.

-

So... a few things happen all at once. Honestly, just one would be enough to make Wade lose it, but sometimes in fiction you have to drive the point home:

1. Nate says he’s leaving.

"With what you have in the bank, you could probably buy yourself a house, Wade," Nate replied.

"You mean us, right?" Wade corrected.

Nate stared at him and then dropped his gaze to pick at his plate. "The X-Men offered me a position," he said. "I could stay at the mansion, if I wanted to. Or I could get a stipend. It'd probably be enough to pay rent somewhere. So I won't have to keep leeching off of you."

Of course, once again, two different conversations are happening. Nate is saying, I got offered this, I don’t have to stay, I don’t have to keep leeching off of you and offering nothing in return because I am hurting you and it’s making me feel like a useless piece of shit. Remember Wade’s finances are paying for everything right now because Nate doesn’t have stable income. The reason why Nate leaves and disappears for hours or days on end is because he’s trying to find work, but also the world needs heroes right now and hero work isn’t always paid.

But from Wade’s POV, of course Nate should stay with him. But the word ‘leech’ makes him remember that Nate doesn’t even like him and Nate doesn’t need him, but Wade is the one who needs Nate and needs attention and affection that Nate is in no way obligated to give him that.

So Wade says, ‘ok,’ essentially. And to him, that’s putting on a brave face and accepting that Nate will move on, of course he will, so he might as well try to be happy for Nate. But from Nate’s perspective, it’s Wade saying, ‘ok, good, get the fuck out’ in the kindest way possible because now there’s no more excuse for their roommate arrangement to keep existing.

2. Wade’s inner voices start acting up badly, because of the first event. He tries to ignore them, tries to sleep, tries to shut down the bad lines of thought with reason and reality but it’s hard to believe when they just. won’t. stop.

(He doesn't want to see you. Period.)

Wade pressed his hands to his face, tried to breathe in slowly.

"Nate and I… are friends," Wade said.

(Who are you trying to convince?)

"We're friends," he repeated to himself, softer. "We're friends."

Then when Wade tries to distract himself with something else, he tries to go finish the laundry and then realizes that he’d left Nate’s ‘love note’ in his pocket and now it’s obliterated.

[It's gone.]

(Wasn't that your entire proof that Nate gave a single solitary fuck about you?)

"No," Wade lied, but lying to himself didn't always work so well. "It was just a piece of paper."

[But there won't be another one.]

"I'll remember it," Wade whispered pressing his hands to his face.

(Will you? Do you even remember it now?)

Not only was that the only physical proof he had that Nate cared, something his mental illness couldn’t convince him isn’t real, but now that Nate said he’s leaving, Wade knows he won’t ever get another one. That was the first and only note Nate ever wrote to him, and Wade was stupid and careless and let it get destroyed almost immediately. And worse, his memory problems are getting worse and he knows this and he knows that without an actual reminder he’s going to forget what the note said and what Nate’s handwriting looks like and how it felt to read that and eventually he’s going to forget that he ever got a note and eventually he’s going to forget Nate, just like he’s going to forget Vanessa because she’s dead and he only has her memories and photographs and if anything happens to those, there’s a real chance he’ll forget her smile and her face and their moments together and her and it’s too terrifying to deal with and it’s all because it’s all his fault and now he’s in a complete mental breakdown.

-

This time, when he dreamed of finding his wife and daughter's burnt bodies, Wade's was there with them. The only people he cared about. People that he'd failed.

Mmmm foreshadowing. For the sequel, I mean. Oh boy.

Wade’s breakdown wakes Nate up, and by that point it’s full blown mental badness for Wade. Nate finds Wade curled up on the floor, arguing with himself, and tells Nate that he just wants to sleep but the voices won’t stop, and he’s desperate now to the point of self injury and asking Nate to use his telekinesis to help Wade blow his brains out or lobotomize himself.

"I can try to help," Nate offered. "If you'll let me."

(Last time he tried something, you puked your lungs out.)

[This is different. This time we'll puke our brains out.]

(Why waste the strength? Nate has guns. Big ones.)

Wade didn't even care anymore. "Do what you gotta do, Nate."

Once again, Nate offers to help. Once again, because Wade has an extreme solution on his mind, he thinks Nate is offering to help in that way, but Nate has no intention of letting Wade harm himself, or letting Wade think that Nate would ever be willing to harm him.

"I'm not going to blow your brains out and neither are you. I'm a telepath, Wade," Nate reminded him. "Reading your mind is difficult, but I can project thoughts too."

This time Nate actually tells Wade what he’s thinking, what he intends to do to help Wade and what he doesn’t intend to do. Wade gets caught up in babbling about what that could possibly mean, what Nate’s thoughts would be, and since Wade can’t snap out of it or give Nate an answer, Nate goes ahead with his plan to help make Wade’s thoughts stop.

Wade started sounding like a broken record again. Nate put it to an end, connecting to Wade's mind with a touch and projecting a static to drown out the voices and give Wade some relief.

They only connected for a brief instant, and then Wade flinched away from the connection, breaking it.

"Sorry," Nate reached out again, but Wade shivered and stayed just out of reach, as if he were afraid of it.

"What was that?”

Wade is still afraid of Nate’s powers being used on him in ways he didn’t expect. It interrupts the darker, suicidal thoughts, but Wade still struggles openly, first expressing his mixed feelings of fear re: Nate touching him, and also his tentative admission that it was nice to be touched. Then, when his train of thought immediately plunges back into ‘I wish I were dead’ territory, Nate makes a point to interrupt once again, but this time not using his powers.

"Wade," Nate said again, trying to bring him back from another spiral of thoughts. He sat down on the couch, holding his hands out to Wade, but not reaching for him. "Come here. Put your head down, okay? I'll make it quieter this time."

"Make my head quieter?" Wade asked, edging closer.

"Yes," Nate promised. "I'll make it go away."

This time, Nate doesn’t force his methods onto Wade. Wade is fully informed of what Nate intends to do to help him, and the choice is left up to him. This time he has a second to process it, stop being afraid of what Nate’s intentions might be, and accept his help (and his touch) on his own terms.

Wade churns through a few more fears, aloud, (his fear that Nate will leave him, like Vanessa left him, and he’ll forget them both) and also his loneliness, the fact that it’s been so long since he felt love/touch/intimacy, he isn’t sure he remembers what it feels like anymore. Then he accepts Nate’s offer, puts his trust in Nate, and lets Nate make his mind go blank.

Meanwhile, Nate has to try to process the raw admission that their fucked up, dysfunctional non-relationship is half of the entire reason why Wade’s mental health has gotten to this point, because he really thought there was no way Wade cared about him or what he thought, and now he has to figure out how to start undoing that damage.

Skin to skin contact is the only real way Nate can use his powers on Wade directly. Otherwise, his mind is too chaotic and slippery to really work with. This is a rule I set in this AU, but it’s a concept lifted from Cable & Deadpool #3:

There’s no indication this is the case, but Wade’s mind is canonically hard to get a grip on for psychics, and after Nate touched his head, he can hear Wade’s thoughts back to him, so they aren’t speaking out loud and alerting the others of Nates’ presence. I always interpreted that as being, Nate had to do a little more to establish a better connection with Wade’s mind. It probably isn’t the case, maybe he just wanted to give Wade a little tap on the noggin, but I liked that concept for this fic. Bonus feels: In the comic, Wade and Nate had been fighting like cats and dogs up until this point. Wade had joined a cult and helped them, Nate had been trying to fight against them, and Wade ended up being doublecrossed. Here, Wade expresses regret, and Nate shows compassion towards Wade... something exceedingly rare for anyone to do, sadly.

In this fic, Nate can’t stay connected to Wade’s mind (at least, not as easily as this) unless he maintains skin contact with Wade somehow. Because I’m gay and I love drama and it’s soft as hell.

-

"I'm here," Nate assured him, rubbing circles onto Wade's skin with his fingertips. Then he realized, to his embarrassment, that he'd been petting Wade the entire time, and quickly stopped.

"Don't -- Don't stop doing that. Please. It's nice," Wade pleaded, jerking a little under Nate's hands.

"Shh," Nate shushed, afraid that Wade would break the connection. "Okay. I won't stop, but don't move. Just relax."

He let his fingers resume their slow movements. Following the flow of scar tissue on Wade's skin. Brushing his thumb over the curve of Wade's ear. He felt Wade relax against him, sinking deeper.

I have nothing to add, I just want you all to see how soft this is.

-

Wade’s POV: 

"When my daughter Hope has bad dreams, I'd help her fall asleep again," Nate said as he continued the light petting. "Take away all of the nightmares."

For some reason, the reminder that Nate was, above all else, a dad , took Wade by surprise. He was a man who had lost everything, who would have moved heaven and earth to get his daughter back, to keep her safe, and he did exactly that. Somewhere in the future, there was a little girl whose dad loved her that much, that fiercely. Wade couldn't relate. His own dad had been all fierce and no love. The kind of man nightmares were made of.

Nate’s POV:

"When my daughter Hope has bad dreams, I'd help her fall asleep again," Nate said, thinking of how many times he'd held her in his arms and done just this. "Take away all of the nightmares."

Even with Wade's permission to connect with his mind, Wade's thoughts were hard to read. They weren't words or even clear images. It was more like only being able to feel an abstract, and Nate caught the edge of one unexpectedly. It looked like misshapen darkness and it smelled like old booze and it was called father. It felt like being hit with fists and the sharp bite of a belt buckle and it tasted like salt-tears-blood, and it was called love.

Nate pushed the memory away as soon as he realized what it was, focusing a little harder to keep it from forming again. "I'm sorry, Wade. I can't change the past for you, but I can try to make things better here and now. Let's think about something else."

Nate shares a piece of himself with Wade, and tells him about his daughter, about how he’s done this similar psychic technique before to help his daughter fall asleep again if she had a bad nightmare. That reminder of Nate being a dad, of Nate using the same method to soothe his daughter’s nightmares on Wade, reminds Wade of his own father, and the abusive memories associated with him.

It’s not only an example of Wade’s train of thought still leading him into places that are harmful for his state of mind, but also where Wade’s POV and Nate’s POV start to be able to meld together, because Nate can somewhat read what Wade is thinking.

Often, I can write scenes where two characters have an interaction but have wildly different interpretations of it, and depending on which character I’m settled on in 3rd person perspective, it’s left up to the reader to pick up on that or reread later and realize, oh wow, now I know the other person reacted like that because their mind was totally elsewhere. In this fic, every single interaction is like that, and it’s split into stark contrast. Wade is earnest in his interactions, and in denial, and masking so much hurt with humor, and he sees Nate as violent, and cold, and uncaring. Nate is still holding onto trauma, and masking his hurt with stoicism, and ignoring Wade because he cannot allow himself to grow attached to anyone in this timeline because he isn’t sure he could emotionally survive that, and from his perspective Wade is lazy and can’t take anything seriously. Neither of them can communicate well, primarily because Nate shut himself off so effectively until he realized that Wade isn’t actually a punching bag that feels nothing, emotionally or otherwise, and he was being an asshole the entire time.

This is where communication starts to be able to begin, and Nate realizes he’s not going to break or lose his edge if he shows Wade kindness and compassion any more than being a good father to his daughter, because love is not a weakness. Caring is not a weakness.

-

Nate creates a dream for Wade - but, if you didn’t pick up on this - the dream is more Wade’s creation than anything. Nate was accustomed to helping Hope make imaginary snowflakes in her mind. Basically, like counting sheep, but more elaborate (but simple enough for a child) and pretty to look at. When Hope’s imagination wandered off to sleep, she would dream of snow hares made of ice, or spring flowers, or sparkling night skies. Remember - Nate is supposed to be guiding this.

But Wade’s imagination immediately goes out of Nate’s simple guidance, and turns into a full blown dreamscape. Not intricate snowflakes, because that’s complicated and boring to Wade’s mind, but an entire realm of rolling hills covered in snow and little trees, and then because Wade thinks, it would be cold and he doesn’t like that, he imagines that he’s inside where it’s warm and cozy and Nate is there, because he doesn’t want to be alone, and they both have matching sweaters and cocoa because that’s fucking nice and his idea of ‘heaven’ and Nate is shook because he remembers something that Wade doesn’t remember anymore-

Nate and Wade had gone drinking, only once. Before they became roommates. It sounded like a decent idea at the time. With an idiot like Wade, Nate had thought it could even be fun, but all of the alcohol just made Nate feel hazy and depressed. With Wade, it was worse. It made him quieter and cleared his mind. But when his mind was finally clear, there was nothing he could see that was good.

Wade had told Nate about seeing Vanessa when he died. He said if heaven existed, that was all he could ever hope for. Just the two of them in a cozy room, nestled on the couch together, forever. But he could never get in, no matter how many times he tried. She kept telling him it wasn't his time. And Wade was starting to worry that he just wasn't good enough to get there.

They didn't drink again.

Wade remembers that they went drinking, once, and that it was a bad time, but he doesn’t remember the exact details. Nate remembers that he’d thought it would be a decent method of escapism - his personal favorite - but instead the alcohol made them both more depressed and their problems harder to cope with, so they unofficially stopped altogether.

So, when Nate finds himself included in Wade’s dreamscape, he realizes that this is basically Wade’s perfect ideal, but he’s convinced he isn’t supposed to be included and he’s just a poor substitution. 

It was everything Wade had ever hoped for, Nate realized. Only, Nate wasn't supposed to be here.

Just the two of them in a cozy room, nestled on the couch together, forever.

But Nate wasn't Vanessa.

And nothing ever lasted forever.

But this wasn't real.

Which meant that, just for a second, Nate could let himself pretend that it was.

Have I mentioned yet how many of these issues will be carried over into the sequel? Because that should be obvious at this point. Nothing is ever easy to resolve all in one go, unless you’re in like, idk, a fanfic or something. Also, more foreshadowing here about Nate’s conflicted feelings, being subconsciously compared to Vanessa’s former role in Wade’s life.

-

One more chapter, time for the POVs to merge and time for no more fantasy power crutchs to help us get through real communication problems and time to make fun of some X-Men too...

#reread #self meta #a little xo wouldn't go amiss #hoooo boy #long post #i'm so sorry mobile users

[dailyaudiobible]

08/23/2018 DAB Transcript

Job 8:1-11:20 , 1 Corinthians 15:1-28 , Psalms 38:1-22 , Proverbs 21:28-29

Today is the 23rd day of August. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian and it's a pleasure and an honor and a joy and all kinds of good things to be here with you today taking the next step forward. And that is always a joy. It's always a joy to sit down and turn the mic on and know we are we are entering into the rhythm together and taking the next step forward that will lead us all the way through the Bible, all the way to the very last words on December 31. But this is August 23rd. So, we've got some ground cover. And let’s dive in. We’re reading from the book of Job. And we’ll read chapter 8 verse 1 through 11 verse 20 today from the Contemporary English version this week. And, by way of reminder, Job and his friend Eliphaz were having a conversation yesterday. And today we’ll hear from another of Job's friends. His name is Bildad. So, let’s dive in. Job chapter 8.

Okay. So, in our reading from 1 Corinthians today we heard Paul discuss the resurrection of Jesus, and he did it with passion. In fact, we watched Paul being quite the Pharisee today, which is how he was religiously trained. So, here's how. During the span of history that included Jesus and Paul there were two different schools of thought that prevailed in Judaism. On one hand you had the Sadducees who were the ruling elite among the Jews and they considered themselves be the true ancestors among the priests and they were mostly centered in Jerusalem. And they were very powerful and very conservative. On the other hand, the Pharisees were more plentiful and were spread throughout the land, making them more in touch with the people. And then collectively, councils made up of Sadducees and Pharisees were called the Sanhedrin. And these were the people who interpreted and enforced Mosaic law. And they wrestled with the Torah and instructed people on how to obey it. So, Paul was a trained Pharisee. And one of the greatest distinctions between Sadducees and Pharisees was there differences in theological thought regarding resurrection from the dead. And, so, Sadducees did not believe that the dead would rise again. For them, when a person died they returned to God and that was that. That was the end of the story. Pharisees, on the other hand, hoped in the resurrection from the dead. And we can easily say that Jesus took the pharisaical view in that regard because He talked about resurrection from the dead and then, ironically, He resurrected from the dead. So, as a trained Pharisee, Paul hoped in resurrection. I mean it was Jesus resurrection that won Paul. Paul would've continued to persecute believers in Jesus had he not experienced the resurrected Christ. So, Jesus resurrection was proof for Paul that his religious convictions were true. And in Paul's view, Jesus resurrection was the centerpiece for hope and proved that it was the whole proof that God was doing a new thing in the world. For Paul, Jesus resurrection signified the continuation of not only the Jewish story but also the human story. Through Jesus, God was inaugurating a new kind of human species, one that allowed humans to be reunited with God in Spirit. In other words, the human and the divine can be reunited as we were always intended to be through Jesus. Paul said it like this, just as death came into the world through a man now the resurrection from the dead is begun through another man, just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life. But there is an order to this resurrection. Christ was raised as the first of the harvest, then all who belong to Christ will be raised when He comes back. So, let’s consider the implications of what's being said today about resurrection's because as believers this is our hope, eternal life.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You. We thank You that we’re working our way through this life, walking with You and learning so much each and every day about what it means to be human. But this is only the first chapter. This is only the beginning. And this is what we put our hope in, full union with You forever and ever and ever. And we are so grateful. As we look around at the circumstances of our lives and things that we may be facing today or this week, we can become overwhelmed by a very, very small story because we forget to look at the implications of forever and ever and ever to be with You in Your presence. And, so, we begin living more like a Sadducee, living for right now, believing that this is all that there is when there is forever. And when we keep the context of eternity in Your presence it makes things not less difficult to go through but have a perspective of how small they are in the grand scheme of things. And, so, we invite Your Holy Spirit into that today to give us perspective and context as we move through this day knowing that this is just one day of an endless supply. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what's going on around here. So, be sure to check in and check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible as we move through these summer months, I can't thank you enough. I can't possibly thank you enough. We are here around this global campfire because we are all in this together. And, so, thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage of dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian. I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning. My name is Joyful Julia in Virginia and I’ve been listening to you for about 10 years, maybe nine years. A seminary professor first told me about Daily Audio Bible. I’m calling today with praise and prayer. I’ve called in several times in the past decade and, in retrospect now, I see how looking back we definitely see the pattern of God answering our prayers even though it might take a decade or more. And I see that now and I’m very grateful. I just wanted to say hello and thank you for all your prayers. And it’s an excellent community, really, you know, that we can always reach out and be heard and also be encouraged and be prayed for. I love your readings Brian and especially the background music in the daily reading of the entire word. Encourage you not to change that music if at all possible. __. It’s very encouraging, very comforting. Well, praying for all you guys. Have a great time in September. Talk to you later. Bye.

Morning DAB. This is a phone call for Cole in Canada struggling through depression and anxiety. I feel like God is saying to us both, cause I struggle with depression and anxiety all the time and especially now. So, I can empathize with you. And this is Charlotte from England by the way. And, so I feel God is saying to us both that He’s already given us the victory and He’s given us all we need to fight the fight in the world. So, it’s up to us to…knowing that we’re going to heaven and knowing that His kingdom is full of grace and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit…but it’s up to us to bring that down. And, so, I pray Lord for us both, that we take control of what God has already given us and take authority in the kingdom of heaven and bring it down right here in this moment. I pray power and strength and authority in the name of Jesus come right into us. And the Holy Spirit will empower us and remind us all the time of the scriptures and the words that we read in the Bible that say how loved we are and how good He has made us. So, thank you God for all the things that you’ve already done for in joy. And please let us take hold of that. Thanks. Thank you Cole. And thank you DAB. And love you all. Bye-bye.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is Jay from Tennessee, Nashville. Just want you guys to pray for me. Sometimes doing the right thing won’t get you the result that you think you’re going to get. Sometimes following Christ will be difficult. We see that in the lives of Paul, the apostles. We see that in the life of our Christ. My girlfriend broke up with me earlier, well yesterday. It’s the way I am where I am and I can’t sleep. It was all because I recognized that us being in a small space together after dark was not a good idea. So, I said, you know, I think it’s a good idea if you go home because this may turn into something that won’t honor God. And that turned into her believing that we shouldn’t be together because I…I was honest and realized that it may turn into something, something sexual. That was unexpected. It came out of nowhere. But we must continue on in Christ. Please pray for me. Love you guys. Bye-bye.

The Lord will provide and I’m just calling in to celebrate my youngest son. I’m currently standing in a Bible college and I’m about to see him graduate from it. It’s such a good feeling as a father to see a son who loves the Lord and is gonna pursue him with all his heart. The second thing I’m calling about is to ask for prayer. Next week I serve at a special needs. These are people with a disability or a special need or a mental disability and I’m going to go tell them and serve them and wash their feet, disciple them because they are specifically here on earth by purpose by God to do God’s will with a disability. And, so, I just want to give that back to them, and encourage them of the word of God. And, so, I would encourage you because you are designed by God on earth for a purpose to do His will. And so, that’s my message to you. Have a great day and just…God bless you.

Hey this is PT from NC. I just wanted to call and pray for Joy in Texas. I heard your request regarding your husband and yourself, finding yourselves in between churches while you were doing exactly what you thought the Lord wanted you to do. I just want to encourage you both and tell you that while this may through you a loop God is not sitting in heaven wondering, oh my gosh, what am I gonna do. He is fully aware. None of this has caught Him off guard. He is still fully engaged. I want to read or really quote a scripture and then I’m gonna pray. And want to quote it just a little different. James chapter 1 verse 2 says, consider it all joy. I want to say it to you, consider it all Joy, when you face many challenges because the trying of your patience builds perseverance and it will make you mature and complete, lacking nothing. Lord, this morning I come to you before you and I ask that You would be with Joy and her husband. God they are serving You as pastors and now find themselves in a really precarious situation, not only with their job and church assignments but also in this legal battle trying to adopt. God, I just pray that You prove yourself to be faithful. God I pray that You would meet them at the point of their need and Lord I pray that You would encourage them. Lord I pray that they would not miss what You’re doing in them because they’re looking for what to do next. Lord, I pray that You would encourage them today. We pray this in Christ’s name. Amen. Love you DAB family.

[sueboohscorner]

OUTLANDER S3 EP 9: "The Doldrums"

So here we are folks, only FOUR....yes...FOUR more episodes before the dreaded Droughtlander strikes again.  I pause for a quiet moment of reflection on this.  Know this...if you think Jamie and Claire will see Scotland again in the near future, you, my friend will be disappointed.  It's going to be a LONG time coming if at all.

First thing....the theme song has changed some!  It has the same initial opening music but then the imagery changes and you get a more tropical touch to the music!  Love it!

We left off last episode with the abduction of Young Ian (and the treasure!) from the island.  This episode Jamie and Claire are in France and get the help of Jamie's cousin Jared.  Jamie will be employed aboard the Artemis as supercargo.  Funny name, but all ship terms are weird.  It just means he will be the one in charge of all the cargo aboard the ship.  Jamie is going with Claire, Fergus, Mr. Willoughby (Yi Tien Cho) and two other men, Hayes and Lesley who know Jamie from Ardsmuir prison.  Jared tells Jamie that they have checked the log books and the only ship from that day flying a Portuguese flag was the Bruja.  They are headed to Jamaica and if Young Ian, being a young healthy lad behaves himself, he will survive the journey and most likely be sold for at least 30 pounds in the West Indies. Awesome.  Jared makes sure to point out that winter is almost upon them and the sea will most likely be a little rough.  Oh...even more awesome for poor sea sick prone Jamie.

As Jared leaves, Claire inquires about Jenny and Ian.  Jamie tells her that they still think they are all on their way in France, so they have no idea yet.  However Jamie is sending them a letter to explain what happened to Young Ian and what they are trying to do about it. Hmmmm...would love to be a fly on the wall when THAT letter arrives and Jenny reads it!  Jamie turns to Claire and reiterates about her belonging with him, however, if she indeed wishes to return he will take her to the stones himself.  Claire says there is something more important right now and that is finding Young Ian.

Jamie and Claire are on board and Claire watches all these men say hello to Jamie and also touch the post nearby with a horseshoe.  Claire tries to soothe Jamie by telling him to look at the horizon.  He says it isn't his stomach right now, but the sight of Scotland fading away in the distance.  "We shall not set foot on her shores again without Young Ian." Jamie tells Claire.   

Of course, Fergus appears as they are now far enough away and surprises them with Marsali.  Apparently they were "handfasted" which means they are married.  Jamie is fuming and drags off Fergus and asks if he has "bedded the lass" yet and Fergus says no.  To which Jamie yells out as he turns away that it is not yet binding.  Marsali is a huge bitch like her mom.  She calls Claire a "hoor" but Fergus tells her not to speak to Milady that way.  She also tells Jamie that if he makes her disembark and go home, she will tell everyone that she and Fergus have already slept together.  Jamie decides that Fergus is not to touch Marsali, so he and Fergus will be in one room and Marsali and Claire are in another.  The women are less than pleased. 

As Jamie and Claire head to go below, Claire looks at him and says “We’ve been apart for 20 years and you want me to room with her?” “I’m obliged to protect her virtue,” replies Jamie. “Mine as well, it seems,” Claire snaps. When Claire stalks off in a huff, an almost-seasick Jamie notes sarcastically, "Now I am gonna be sick." 

Jamie's seasickness finally sets in and Claire brings him some ginger tea.  Before knowing what it was at first, he asks what God awful stuff was she going to put in him.  She hands him a cup and he sips it.  Claire looks around and sees a trunk and asks what it was.  Jamie replies that it is something Fergus brought from Lallybroch.  She opens it to find their clothes from Paris and his tartan in there also.  She was surprised that he held onto those and said he could have sold them.  Jamie just answers "Sell them? Memories of you? Never."

With Jamie feeling seasick, Claire is dining alone with the captain.  That is fine, as it is she he wanted to speak to anyway.  He tries to convince Claire that men that are alone on the sea for a long time tend to get very superstitious and for her to respect that. 

Claire of course has to argue some and mentions the horseshoe.  The captain replies that it doesn't matter if he believes that touching a piece of iron will bring good luck, but these men do and that they also believe that someone on board had not.  Claire replies that "Believing something doesn’t make it real," and the captain retorts, "On this ship, it does."

Down below Jamie is doing a fair job at trying not to be sick as he discusses Marsali with Fergus.  Fergus uses some words about his love for Marsali is akin to him breathing and other romantic stuff.  Jamie says he won't bless the union because Fergus has not been honest completely with Marsali in regards to the other women he has been with.  

A little while later, Jamie is vomiting his brains out.  His door to his room is part way open and Mr. Willoughby comes in and warns Jamie he cannot continue on this path as it can cause serious injury to certain parts of the body, including the twisting of the testicles in which case the only cure is removal.  He reassures Jamie he has a cure for the seasickness.  

The next morning, Jamie is feeling much better and Claire is amazed and says it must be that ginger tea she has been giving him. Jamie goes off to do something and Claire is walking and sees Mr. Willoughby using water from a bucket with a Chinese brush to write Chinese characters on the deck floor.  She kindly asks what it is he is doing.  He tells her it is part of his life story and when she asks about it, he says he cannot share his story yet. 

Claire walks in to Jamie's room to find Mr. Willoughby putting needles into Jamie's face.  She chastises Jamie for not telling her the real reason he was feeling better.  Jamie admits that their relationship has been on rocky ground and he didn't want to upset her and adds  I didn’t want you to see it as more proof you didn’t belong here."  Claire gingerly takes Jamie's face in her hands and says that yes, her return has been hard with struggle and turmoil, but it has never been the question of her not loving him.

Jamie realizes that the ship is not moving and they rush up to the deck.  Apparantly the wind has stopped and they are temporarily stuck where they are.  Of course, Jamie forgot about the needles in his face and the Captain and other crew give him the strangest looks.  Mr. Willoughby tries to explain and Claire says she knows of acupuncture.

Days turn to weeks and the crew are now looking for their "Jonah" the one who didn't touch the horseshoe in the beginning of the voyage. This person, when found will simply be tossed over into the water.  Most of the barrels of water have spoiled due to water in the bilge and rations are cut in half.  There has been no rain either.  

The Jonah is believed to be one of Jamie's men from Ardsmuir.  He wasn't seen touching the horseshoe and he doesn't remember if he did or not.  Suddenly there is an uproar and Jamie and Claire rush out to the deck to see what is going on.  The man is up on the mast, sitting and drinking while the crew below is telling him to jump.  Jamie climbs up and tries to reason with the man.  He reminds him of Ardsmuir and it was "them against us" and that is the situation now.  The man moves to act as to jump, but eventually gives in to Jamie and grabs Jamie's hand. 

He slips and Jamie has to hold the man and try to swing him to the rigging which eventually succeeds.  When they come down, the ship's crew tries to grab for the man and Jamie and his followers stand in the way.

Meanwhile, Mr. Willoughby looks out at the ocean and sees a pelican flying low.  Apparently, this means something and before a full out brawl happens over yonder, he rings the bell to get everyone's attention.  He announces his real name and tells everyone a story of how he was chosen even at a young age to be great and was eventually chosen to be employed by the Emperor's second wife.  However, to have that job meant one had to become a eunuch to do so.  He says he fell in love with "woman" and Claire thought he meant the wife of the Emperor, but he tells her no, ALL WOMAN.  He goes on to describe a way a woman smells and certain body parts feel in a most descriptive way with metaphors using fruit.  He continues saying that he loved women too much and had to flee his homeland.  He ended up in a place where most women are disgusting (Chinese bathed a hell of alot more) and not even a prostitute wanted to lie with him. 

Sad,   Yi Ten Cho, steps onto the edge of the ship and throws his life's story away into.....WIND. 

Yes, the wind has returned and along with that rain.  The men are happy and now there is no Jonah.

We finally get a Jamie and Claire sex scene, but it is a quickie.  However the part right after and the words Jamie uses to describe Claire's gray hair like a piece of moonlight....beautiful. 

Claire replies with a smile that if he were to say such things in the 20th century, he would be The King of Men.  Big grin on my face as that is a little easter egg for us book fans as Jamie is indeed the King of Men!

At night, Jamie and Claire are alone on deck and are looking at a full moon.  Jamie says something about the man in the moon and Claire goes on to say that just before she left her time, they had put men on the moon and sent back pictures.  It is very barren and rocky and the dark marks we see are the craters she tells Jamie.  She says a small quote from Goodnight Moon and says she used to read that every night to Bree and that their daughter had it memorized even before she knew how to read. 

She mentions Bree always slept with her stuffed bunny toys...."She loved rabbits", Claire says, her eyes filling with emotion.  Jamie asks "Do you miss her."  "Terribly" Claire says as Jamie holds her tighter.

Bad luck is to come again.  This time as a British Man of War is signaling them (by shooting at them) to stop and prepare to be boarded.  The captain thinks that they will want men, but when a VERY young man comes aboard and introduces himself as the Captain, and then explains that he is probably the 4th captain by now, everyone is wondering what is going on.  The man asks if they have a physician on board and eyes turn to Claire.  In the captain's quarters, the man explains there has been an outbreak and they have lost many men....most of the crew actually.  Claire chastises him for even coming aboard because he could endanger everyone on the Artemis.  She asks him what the symptoms are.  The young captain tells her that it starts with pain in the gut, high fever, and the blazing s**ts.  Claire asks if there is a rash on the stomach and he confirms that yes there is.  She agrees to go aboard to look and Jamie is not too happy. 

Out in the hall, he says it is too dangerous, but Claire says it is Typhoid Fever, but not as Jamie and them know it.  It hasn't been "discovered" yet.  She has been innoculated against it, so she cannot get it.  She reminds Jamie that she swore an oath to help save and preserve life when she became a doctor.  Jamie looks at her and says that he knows there is no talking her out of it.  However, he is not taking his eyes off that ship until she returns.

Claire goes over to the British ship and I can't even imagine the smell of the vomit and feces, etc in that space below!  Claire even has to cover her nose and mouth.  She verifies what it is and back above tells the captain what needs to be done and that she is willing to help stay a bit longer to help get them organized.  She gets a man to get others to bring the sick to the upper deck and she is escorted to Mr. Murphy, the cook to discuss boiling water.  He is giving her a hard time when there is a sudden jerk and the ship is moving.  Claire rushes up to the deck and confronts the captain about why they are moving.  He tells her that she is needed and that they too are headed for Jamaica and have sent word that they assure her safe return upon arrival there.  

Claire is speechless and looks toward the Artemis as it is getting smaller and she has to be wondering if and when she will see her husband again. Until next episode......

So, I have seen mixed reviews.  I believe the show only people out there were pleased, however, they are rolling their eyes over Jamie and Claire being separated again.  Don't worry, it won't be nearly as long, but a little more dangerous.  For us book people, some of us are getting very upset to the disregard of Diana's work,  So, we don't get a trained pelican to fish for us now?  There was no horseshoe thing.  There was no Jonah.  Mr. Willoughby's speech, though still intact, isn't supposed to happen until Jamaica.  To me, they have been changing Claire and Jamie too much also.  Claire is never so overbearing and rude at times.  Jamie has dreams of Brianna as well as looking at a picture or two SO much it becomes worn around the edges.  He yearns to meet his daughter.  He seems so distant from that. 

Anyway....what are your thoughts???  Thanks for reading!

#Outlander #Outlander Starz #Outlander Season 3 #Outlander (TV series) #Jamie Fraser #Claire Fraser #Mr. Willoughby #Yi Tien Cho #Cesar Domboy #Fergus Fraser #Marsali