#going through some kind of period

[sirguyofdykesborn]

hm. fish

#art tag #nudity #fish #i. guess #going through some kind of period

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

To Shape A Dragon’s Breath

YA fantasy

a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic

historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes

bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC

#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is really really good i loved it! #the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool #it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that #I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff #t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m #definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that #was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel #on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening? #that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 - #I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like - #a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!) #some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application #the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series! #also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺 #anyway. i really loved it! #oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture.... #To Shape A Dragon's Breath

[velvet-games]

I've been researching locs for like the last hour and um. I still understand nothing. but I thought alastor would look cute with them?

#I'm not used to drawing black hair so concrit is appreciated 🙏 #I think the only person I've drawn with locs is ekko and that piece was super stylized #also the torture of deciding where his ears go is killing me #he looks a little dorky with the ears on the side if you look at him straight on #but they kind of compete with the antlers if they're on top #also?? real deer ears are huge??? I see deer all the time but for some reason I thought they were tiny #I also drew him with a silk scarf cause I thought that'd be cute but I wasn't happy with it #still funny to imagine him poking holes through it with his antlers though lol #does this man ever sleep on his side #actually does he sleep period #hazbin hotel #my art #alastor #locs

[sysig]

I’ve always assumed that gaster and the dreamers had a parental relationship, considering that he seemed pretty young (teenager) when they took him in, plus it’s kinda implied that gaster had a abusive or at least neglectful childhood so it makes sense that he would want to view asgore and torial as parental figures.What do you think?

Also sorry about pestering you about fell!Handplates but it’s such a fun au. But how do you think gaster first reacted when the dreamers started becoming cruel?

Yup! Generally speaking I view Gaster as having a mostly parental/filial relationship with the Dreemurrs, and that evolving into a (mostly) platonic family dynamic, though it is kind of complicated with Asgore being his King and boss and Toriel disappearing and them grieving her together - I think it brought them closer, and not necessarily in only healthy ways ♪

Haha, I don't really mind, but I can only give my own thoughts and opinions on it! Some of it is stuff I'd also like to know haha ♫

I kind of assumed they were Fell from the beginning, that the argument is that Monsters are just Like That, it's in their Nature, and Fellplates!Gaster is trying to find proof that Monsters are capable of change, that with the "correct" kind of Nurture, they don't have to act on their Fell impulses. As for when he was inspired to start looking for that, hmmm ♪

#UT #Handplates #Fellplates #I have my own headcanons about Gaster and how he views relationships but that's really neither here nor there lol #Cough cough queerplatonic Gaster cough what #Me? Projecting on my faves? I would never #Also remember: Neglect /is/ a form of abuse - just because it wasn't physical doesn't mean it's less impactful #This is more of a PSA lol - love yous #Gaster's internalized - well everything really lol - definitely points to him having a very skewed view on his own intrinsic value #The Dreemurrs tried to course-correct! And they definitely helped!! But those moments ah #I was looking through the Handplates gallery the other day and Asgore smothering Gaster into a hug hhh </3 #''It's all I'm good for'' No shut up ;; #I'm also kind of fascinated by Gaster's growth over such a long period of time - since they're all Boss Monsters he's Very old #But he's younger than the Dreemurrs! Makes me wonder how much Boss Monsters ''mature'' once they stop aging #As for Fellplates hehe it's true I don't mind but I'm still just another fan of it hehe ♪ I know as much as the next person! #Probably less actually since like I said I never really got into Underfell proper lol #It is very fun to think about tho ♥ At some point I'd like to return to Healing now that I've properly read all of Handplates #I had some new ideas ♪ All in due time! #As you can tell I'm a bit on Helix at the moment lol - taking a small bite of every little fixation as they go round and round lol

[clumsybutdedicated]

one of my favorite parts of finding out that a piece of media you love is problematic is that you can't tell anyone you like it for at least like a month without them being like "oh well have you heard about the Incredibly Fucked Up Thing that just happened?" like yes i am aware i am trying to figure out my emotions about it thank you for reminding me that this thing that has helped me through some really rough points has people/things involved with it that are Very Fucked Up

#dance gavin dance #john mulaney #i think we should normalize having some kind of a grieving period when we find this shit out #like i've got a dgd tattoo #their music is how i got through high school #i don't know enough ab what's going on with dgd to really make any more of a comment than that ab it #but anyway #fuck dave chapelle #fuck transphobes #and fuck john mulaney for supporting them

[camgoloud]

today. i have experienced the HORRORS (opened laptop for morning meeting while seated between boss and coworker; was greeted with ao3 page i forgot to close last night)

#it’s fine it’s fine i THINK it’s fine. both of them were looking at their own computers and i closed that shit SO fast and i have no reason #to believe that either one of them is online enough to know anything about ao3 much less enough about what it looks like to recognize it #from peripheral vision/​during the quick glance they might have had the opportunity to get #fortunately my other coworker who i know IS quite online (the two of us literally had to team up to explain a meme to the other two people #that i was sitting between later during this VERY meeting. which i was so cool and normal during by the way) was sitting over on the #opposite side of the table. and i was cool about it externally. and they had no reaction of any kind. so #nevertheless. HORRORS. it wasn’t even like a story was open which would have been just a wall of text it was like. a search result. #displaying clearly and distinctly the site’s formatting #it doesn’t help that the rest of today has also been extremely stressful and the next few days will be much the same because there are #some Things i have to do that are fairly high-stakes and that i’m extremely stressed about. fun! fantastic! #i was literally only ON ao3 last night in the first place to try to pregame/destress ahead of having to come into work this week 😭 #and i already fucked up something important today that’s setting a bunch of things back for multiple people. and i feel like i’m going to #get my period in the next day or two which would make it a week early if it happens. super fun. amazing! #guess i’ll just keep riding the adrenaline-fueled train wreck that never stops all the way through friday! #caseyposting

[andromeda3116]

i know that the "adulting sucks" thing has been overdone to the point of obnoxious, but seriously

seriously

adulting fucking sucks

#running the numbers on my budget and calculating how much i can afford per month on things #bc i will likely need a new car soon and i need to figure out what kind of budget i have for it and what my options are #and i get a bill from a doctor's visit in fucking november for almost $150 after insurance payout and my copay and like. #hey i was told on my insurance shit that i would only have a $50 copay! and i had met my deductible! #it legitimately looks like they waited until it rolled over to charge my insurance specifically so i would no longer have met it #like the visit was in november. why did you wait until mid-april to payout? #my insurance rolled over at the beginning of april. huh. what a fucking coincidence. #idk who to call about this but this stinks of bullshit #i should not be owing that money. period. and there is absolutely no excuse for sending me the bill for it eight months later. #and i need to clean my apartment. and i need to feed myself at some point. #and i need to cancel att and set up the comcast internet that's recently been folded into rent as an amenity #i have already gone through and canceled all the subscriptions i don't use #so check that box off #and like. i don't want a roommate and i really am not looking for a relationship with anyone. #but doing all this shit on my own and having to pay every bill on my own and having to do all the cooking and cleaning on my own is just. #exhausting #i am so so tired #and i'm looking at things and i intend to go through online school for a communications degree which will be reimbursed through my job #and there may be a lead position opening up soon which everyone seems to be pushing me towards which would be a title change #and significant raise at the cost of added stress #and i feel like butter spread over too much bread #i need to work anti-burnout measures into my schedule and budget now to get the structure i'll need #but i am already so tired #but i need the raise and i need the degree to gtfo of this career

[fruitsyrups]

ive crossed over into an alternate dimension where side profiles are somehow sometimes easier to draw than other angles. bodies in side profile however... nooo thank you...

#ok the back of the head is hard but the facial features proportions kind of feel easier to figure out . maybe. #weird #n e way im happy with the way i draw faces mostly maybe 50 percent of the time but im so not caught up on drawing bodies #like to the point it just looks bizarre #decent proportional face with like at least some understanding of structure/form even if it's not much #and then the stiffest clunkiest body you ever did see #or i can go the other way around and have an ok body. like decently fluid / proportional. but no face #theres some kind of disconnect. cant have both at once #thats only a sometimes thing though anyways. faces are generally easier #tried to do a teeny bit of gesture drawing yesterday but i was feeling sooo lazy and impatient so only 3 of them turned out ok ish #im pretty sure i post more often talking about art than i actually post art #i dont post most of the things i draw #i like to have my little secrets... #secrets in question are just literally anything that isnt adventure time art #actually looking through my art folder is crazy cause like if i saw this 3 years ago (i was really bad at drawing 3 years ago) i would. idk #drop dead or something #but now its like yeah same old same old. lots of problems. need to work on those. #but its nice to step back and be like woagh holy shit. massive improvement #earlier i was trying to dfraw a character and it wasn't coming out right but instead of getting frustrated and discouraged #it was more like i had this feeling of . idk. excitement to get better at drawing? #i dont know if this is just a temporary mood or maybe im turning over a new leaf. new optimistic mindset about art #<- watch that 'new mindset' totally disappear when i have a slightly more prolonged period of art struggle. lol

[darabeatha]

One more thing is that in game, M.octezuma takes on a new and different name which is 'i.zcalli' and I think that in the context of a Grail war, he could go by that instead of being called 'avenger' to conceal his true identity

#;ooc #ooc #its been some time since i finished l.b7 so i have to re-read it to confirm whether this was the case or im going delusional but #since in the story he's brought back to have a second chance in life; he takes on a new name #i think that in his case; having a new name isnt only to conceal his identity but its like a barrier to him #we see how the first time he sees the protagonist and company; he mentions how the scar in hia forehead hurts #so not going by his true name of m.octezuma it helps him repress the memories of his past #we also see how he imposes on himself the title of t.ezcatlipoca (or well the future t.ezcatlipoca) and tries to follow it to a T #so in a way he's running from himself in a lot of ways #its the regret; the guilt; the despair; #he's willing to discard his own identity in order to change the course of history; to change how things ended; for this last second chance #its why the class of avenger does quite fit him in this context #its a man who's haunted by his past; by how things went; its that kind of servant #like how j.eanne alter cant forgive; like how d.antes is stuck in a period of his life; how s.alieri is cursed by the narrative created- #around his figure; etc etc #i think m.octe is interesting bc of this; he truly goes through extremes; he takes any and every step he can without an ounce of hesitation #its blind and its desperate and even when he faces the other t.ezcatlipoca; he ends up betraying himself; and even the god he is supposed- #to become and follow #he s.hoots him; he k.ills him; its the first time there is hesitation in him; just for a moment #anyways i say he coukd go by i.zcalli in a grail war but #considering its the context of the l.b what gives him that name; it would probably be something else on a different reality

[moonaive-archive]

i just saw a cc creator with 2 diff patreon accs. 😵‍💫

#non sims #one is for ya-elder cc & the other acc is for toddlers & children ;-; #wtf is happening with these greedy ass cc creators?¿ it’s so sad to see some of them doing this kind of shit when we’re going through a hard #financial period and they’re like creating 2-3 diff patreon accs to earn more money with the sims cc!! #i’m just disgusted by this tbh 💀 #dl

[theygender]

I'm doing it. I'm gonna get a fucking hysterectomy

#its something ive talked about half jokingly for years bc the idea of ever being pregnant or giving birth makes me INCREDIBLY dysphoric #so it seems completely fucking pointless to have to go through so much pain and sickness every month for absolutely no reason #this past month where i couldnt get my medication already had me seriously thinking about it tho #bc even if im managing my endometriosis okay with BC i dont want to have to worry about going through hell if i cant fill my prescription #i was looking into the side effects and etc bc i was thinking about asking my doctor about it next time i went in #and the only thing that had me concerned was that a full hysterectomy or oophorectomy sends you into menopause which seems like itd suck #(but smaller surgeries like tube ligations dont actually stop you from having periods) #BUT i was complaining about this at work and one of my coworkers told me she had a hysterectomy for endometriosis #and her doctor gave her a partial hysterectomy so it stops periods and prevents pregnancy but doesnt send you into menopause #and that sounds fucking GREAT honestly so i wanted to ask my doctor about it even more #but now that roe v wade has been overturned? the deal is sealed im getting this hell machine out of me one way or another #im hoping that my doctor will be understanding as a woman herself but if not my coworker said she'll give me her doctors info #and if THAT doesnt work. i just checked out r/childfree and theyve got a list of doctors in my area who are willing to help #i dont want to keep suffering through chronic illness symptoms every month for absolutely no reason #i dont want to run the risk of getting pregnant and having to live through my worst nightmare as someone with dysphoria #AND like my gf just pointed out to me. ive got other health issues that im trying to get sorted out #im chronically underweight and i either have pots or some kind of hypertension. plus a low immune system and etc etc etc #being forced to carry a pregnancy could fucking kill me for all i know. AND i would have to go off of a lot of my meds?? #all this thing does is cause me chronic pain and put my already precarious physical and mental health at risk #im GETTING it fucking taken out #rambling #ive got an appointment with my therapist on tuesday and i think im gonna ask about getting an official diagnosis of gender dysphoria #and im already in the process of getting tested for pots with my primary care doctor #so hopefully those diagnoses combined with my endometriosis will help speed it along... 🙏

[halfelven]

sooooooo anyone else’s spotify wrapped totally showing their mental breakdown this year?

#girl help i am seeing songs i can’t remember listening to #i was Um #going through it #this is fine to rb btw #i just have a bunch of songs that are like #i didn’t want to associate good songs with that time #so here are some songs that i don’t really care about so much #bc i don’t want to ruin my Favourite Songs #and also just that #i really have disassociated for long periods of this year #my teacher asked for my thinking behind something #on my essay and I’m just like ummmmmmm #i literally don’t even remember writing that #some weeks long #of i don’t remember #it’s been a rough year #with also some of the top highlights of my life #like the highs and lows are staggering #i don’t think there are enough studies on disassociation #i’m kind of really sad about how much time is just gone this year #txt #tmi in the tags

[whentherewerebicycles]

i am so wild-eyed after spending too many hours online shopping BUT i have accomplished my one goal for tonight: buy a patio dining set (ideally for under $500) or die in the attempt. i have purchased a black table i may spray paint white ($170ish tax included) and a set of four pistachio green chairs ($200ish), though i plan to return the chairs if i’m not in love with them and instead find a cheaper set on facebook marketplace & spray paint them coral pink. my left eye is TWITCHING but for tonight at least i have CONQUERED MY DEMONS (patio furniture shopping). do NOT ask me about the loveseat/couch situation as i will start rocking back and forth in the corner chanting about waterproof cushions.

#my goal is to do the whole patio for under $1000 since i have no idea how well stuff will hold up through the winter #and also because i am about to not make as much lol #i would LOVE to have an outdoor rug but unfortunately the pine tree over my deck drips sap periodically #so i am not sure it's feasible #gonna do some string lights of some kind too #and PLANTS maybe but god #i feel nervous about plants #maybe i should go to home depot right now to look at plants #no no #it's almost my bedtime (8:45pm) #cool your jets jes

[actualtoad]

this has been such a weird last couple weeks of school though

#like i feel like my mental illness really pushed itself to the front for the last while there #not that it’s gone like im still within that time period i think #i just feel like i had a pretty regular routine going for some months there #like. wake up get on bus sleep on bus struggle through classes go home sleep wake up repeat #so i guess i was already pretty mentally ill. but my routine has changed to like #wake up at 3:30 wake up again at 7 get on bus sleep a little struggle through first hour sleep through second hour skip third hour #don’t turn in my fourth hour assignments go to french and pretend to be happy go to raider time and be uncomfortably quiet and then #stay after school for as long as possible to avoid setting foot at home for as long as possible #and then add in a couple mental breakdowns per week about the only adult who’s ever been like. kind. to me. in this way #anyway my math class just started and it’s just going to be a straightforward work day #our college grades are finalized but for the high school grade we’re allowed to retake any tests we did badly on #so i might retake the chapter five test. im just worried that i might do worse this time around #but anyway for today that’s not what we’re doing that. that’s an option for next week. im just going to stay here #but yeah. idk. im still filled with a huge amount of fear just about the idea of not having somewhere to go #like. i can’t drive. if the school bus isn’t taking me to school every day i just don’t have the support system i have during the year #idk. tara and elanor both live within walking distance. i just. definitely don’t feel that comfortable talking to them about stuff #or asking them for help with anything that’s very important #hey i just found out the kid who ‘‘prefers to be called daddy’’ dropped this class. good for us #can i tell you how uncomfortable it is. as the only person in this class with a name different from the one on the roster #for this random kid to be out here making fun of the idea of that #and saying he prefers to be called DADDY. it was. an interesting thing #to be fair it’s kind of funny. it just made me uncomfortable and he’s for sure transphobic so #it just wasn’t a good look all in all. even if it was a little creative #anyway my playlist is playing twinkle lights by the sonder bombs now. i love this song too. im going to turn off tumblr though #just out of respect for my teacher. i guess. like i should be doing something important right now #he gave us a work day and i should probably work about it #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[ambrosiagourmet]

I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #dunmeshi analysis #I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you #and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of #but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living. #and you can #dungeon meshi spoilers