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howlingday · 2 months

Note

So I'm gonna use one of my Legendary Grimm to give an idea. It's name is Gigagais also known as unmeasuable or the Sea Quake. It's older than even Salem and Ozma. After a while it gained the intelligence of a Nuckalevee but after a while it noticed most grimm just attacked and attacked no matter what. It was confused so it held back. The brothers would them start trying make humans. Giga would quell its violent urges by attacking amd eating other grimm which caused it to grow. It's would soon meet two humans surrounded by grimm acting on instinct it attacked the other Grimm but left the humans alive wondering what they were. It would soon try to study the new enemy killing Grimm to leave its material alone. Theirs more to the story but basically the first three where formed after killing and eating other grimm while being old enough to understand basic concepts. They would develop more and more while copying people. They don't have souls per say more of sci-fi AI.

So a couple things to note on this...

This might just be me nitpicking, but when you're explaining something in a story, try not to repeat the same words and phrases. For example, in the sentence, "After a while it gained the intelligence of a Nuckalevee but after a while it noticed most Grimm..." you used the words, "After a while" twice. I recommend looking into synonyms when a word or phrase appears often, such as writing the sentence as "Over time, it gained the intelligence of a Nuckalevee, but as it continued to exist, it noticed most Grimm..." Like I said, it's a nitpick, but it's one I think could help your writing.

Back to the story, I like it, but I do have something to note on these Grimm. For example, their ability to prey on other Grimm, which is a stark contrast to what we've seen of them creating other Grimm, like the Wyvern and Monstra.

#rwby #grimm #worldbuilding #my thoughts #my answer #my answers

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