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thehusbandoden · 2 months

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Just Let me Explain -Husband!Loid Forger x Wife!Reader

A/n: I'm not sure how good this is, feel free to let me know! <3

General info:

Genre: angst, slight comfort at the end \\ wc: 2,711 \\ posted: 03/14/24 \\ unclear ending

Summary:

You find out about Loid's mission.. how he was using you- and Anya.. that's what set you off the most. What hurt you the most.

Warnings!: a lot of angst, being used, misunderstanding, miscommunication, crying, confrontation, being ignored, ignoring, partner refusing to let go of you (briefly), Loid's mission, mentions of an orphanage, mention of an orphan, fear of putting a child back into an orphanage (briefly), mentions of a nightmare, child crying (briefly). I think that's all? Lmk if I miss any! <3

You lived the dream life. You were married to the love of your life, you had a darling young girl you’ve adopted, and you were loved by your small family unconditionally.

Or... so you thought. That all changed when you found out your husband’s secret. A spy... he was sent on a mission to get married and have a child. Your entire relationship... was it all a lie?

Tears stream down your face as you process the information time and time again. All of it... was for some mission of his? Did he ever even love you? You weren’t even sure at this point.

You were currently curled in a ball on the bathroom floor, your back pressed against the door. The man in question spoke to you softly on the other side, asking for you to open the door and let him explain. You don’t respond, continuing to drown in your sorrow.

Every minute that crawled by felt like an hour. Loid kept calling to you, his voice filling with more concern as you continued to stay silent.

“Y/n... please... open the door. Let me explain, you’re worrying me.”

“Don’t lie to me, Loid. I’m done with these mind games.” You whisper, your voice hoarse with sorrow.

“Y/n... I-I don’t know what to say to that. Please... open the door.”

“Why? So you can lie to me more? So you can gaslight me? So I can melt into your eyes and go back to believing that everything is okay?”

“Y/n... please.”

“No, Loid. I’m done. I’m so done with letting you control me by playing with my feelings. It was all a lie... wasn’t it.”

Loid hesitates, his voice faltering as he attempts to fix the mess he made.

“And Anya? She’s a part of your sick game too, isn’t she?” You mutter, your tears drying against your skin. Your sorrow was slowly growing into acceptance.

“She is a part of my mission, yes.” He whispers.

You let out a low chuckle filled with bitterness. “And what? What happens once your mission is finished? Do you leave? Stay with us? End us? End *me* now that I know?”

“No, I wouldn’t ever kil-” his voice falters once more.

You let out a low laugh that expressed your pain perfectly. “You’re a pathetic excuse as a father. I used to think you were so good to Anya. That you were the perfect father for her- but you plan on *leaving* both of us. Or do you plan on making it worse!? Are you going to end me and leave her in that run-down orphanage again!?” You snap, standing up.

You feel your acceptance turning into anger as you throw the bathroom door open, glaring up at the man you once called yours.

“Y/n I-”

“Why Loid!? Why do you plan on ruining our lives?!”

“Y/n it’s not that simple.” He sighs, moving aside to give you a path. You take it, storming out of the bathroom. You pace around the living room and kitchen.

“Don’t give me that. You played friends until you captured my heart, gave me a flimsy love confession-” he flinched “-and then slid an *engagement* ring on my finger for some stupid mission!?”

He opens his mouth to speak, but you don’t give him the chance to speak. “What about Anya!?” You yell, shoving a finger into his chest. Your anger boiled over at the thought of your precious little girl. She’s been through several homes already; she can’t go back to that horrid orphanage.

“I-”

“Are you going to leave us!? Kill me and leave her as an orphan again!? Tell me, Loid!” You demand, staring into his eyes. You used to think you would never treat him like this no matter how angry you got... but the thought of your baby losing another family threw out all self-control.

“You know me better than that, y/n.” Loid sighs.

“I don’t Loid. I used to think that you were a good man that worked hard to support his family, but I was wrong. All you are is a selfish pig who cares about nothing but himself.” You spit.

Loid’s eyebrow twitches. You don’t notice.

“Anya deserves better than this, Loid! Were you really planning on leaving us alone once your mission is finished!? Were you going to give us a goodbye or were you going to just leave!?”

He still doesn’t say anything. Your anger slowly boils over, every second he ignores you adding another drop into the already over-filled cup of self-restraint. “I... do not know what I was going to do.”

Another drop falls, spilling the rage over. You pull yourself away, so you don’t physically lash out. “I can’t believe I loved you!? I can’t believe that I trusted you, Loid! Was it all fake!?”

Loid doesn’t respond.

“Was it fake!” You repeat, trembling with rage and hurt. “Answer me!”

Loid has an unreadable expression on his face as he looks into your eyes. “Yes, it was fake...” his eyes twinge with something you can’t read. Shrugging it off, you desperately try to hold yourself together.

“So every time you said you loved me back. It was all a lie?”

“Yes...”

“Every time you told *Anya* you loved her back. It was a lie!?”

An unreadable look in his eye makes your lip tremble. “Yes...”

“So, you were planning on leaving us? All along?”

“Stop asking questions, it’s annoying.” His gaze hardens.

“Loi-”

“I said, stop asking questions.” He glares down at you. “I do not love you, nor Anya. Either keep quiet and continue to help with my mission, or you will no longer be needed.”

You feel something crack deep inside you. You try to hold yourself together as your hands shake uncontrollably. “I hate you.” You whisper. Loid flinched, watching you walk to the guest room. You close the door, locking it behind you.

Once the door closes, you break down once more. Falling to the floor as your body is wracked with sobs.

Hours pass by before you come out again. Loid was sitting on the couch, reading a book. You would have smiled at the simplicity earlier this morning, but now all you feel is numb. You slip a pair of slippers on, grabbing your keys.

“Where are you going?” Loid speaks up, his gorgeous blue eyes finding yours. You turn away, refusing to maintain eye contact.

You don’t respond, walking out the door. Loid lets out a long sigh but doesn’t follow you.

“A-and then Sy-on boy made fun of Becky! I didn’t punch him though mama! I smiled like you said!”

“Good job baby.” You mumble, a plastic smile on your face. The words of your precious girl weren’t registering in your head, you were too focused on the fact that your husband- ex-husband? You don’t even know anymore- is really planning on leaving both you and Anya when his mission is over.

Glancing in the rear-view mirror, you see Anya close to tears. You immediately go into protective mode, your eyes hardening as you pull over. “Anya what happened sweetie? Did something happen at school? Are you being bullied? Did someone hurt you??” You bite your bottom lip to confine your rage, the metallic taste of blood staining your tongue.

“N-no mama! Nothing happened at school!” Anya sniffled, trying to contain her tears.

“What is it baby? You can tell me, I’m your mama.” You coo, rubbing her hair gently, pressing a comforting kiss to her forehead.

“I-I u h... umm...” Anya starts to sweat, looking around the car.

“Shhh it’s okay baby. You can tell me.”

“B-Bond ate my peanuts!” Anya blurts out, showing you an empty bag of peanuts. There was no sign of damage from your family dog, she must have just forgotten that she ate them, which happens frequently.

“Oh baby, it’s okay. We can buy more, alright? Next time tell mama what the problem is so we can fix it, m’kay?”

“Yes mama.”

“That’s my smart girl.” You kiss her forehead once more, savoring the relationship you have with her. You’ve always wanted to be a mother, and Anya fulfilled that desire. You were hoping you and Loid could have a few of your own one day, but that’s not going to happen...

You make sure Anya is buckled before moving back to your own seat, strapping your seat belt on before pulling back onto the road.

~~~

“Daddy! Look at what mama got me!” Anya squeals in excitement, bursting through the front door. She runs into the kitchen where Loid was pacing, embracing his legs. He flinches at the sudden entrance, but gives the girl a small smile, leaning down to her level.

You walk in afterwards, shutting and locking the door. “Anya, don’t forget to change!” You call, placing a few grocery bags on the kitchen counter.

“Yes mama!” She calls, pouting up at Loid.

He chuckles, leaning down to ruffle her hair. “Go listen to your mother, Anya. And don’t let her see you with your shoes on the carpet, alright?” He smiles, an amused twinkle in his eye.

You would have melted at the scene... if you didn’t know.

Loid catches your gaze, causing you to frown. Even though he’s planning on completely ruining not only your life, but Anya’s he looks so... relaxed.

You open your mouth to say something, when you notice it.

His eyes... were red. Your frown deepens... you’ve only seen Loid cry once, and he never mentioned it when you did.

It was before Anya, in the first few months of your marriage. You had woken up in the middle of the night to see him whimpering in his sleep.

He whimpered “mom” and “dad” several times, tears slipping down his cheeks as he cried for anyone to help him. You gently woke him out of his nightmare, pulling him to your chest. He was shocked from the whiplash of being in such a traumatizing past one moment to being in your arms the next.

He let you cradle him to your chest, his head comfortingly resting on your breasts. You stroked his hair, murmuring soft words of comfort to him, letting him recover from the terrifying dream.

You laid with him for several hours before falling back asleep yourself. You don’t know how long he held onto you, but he was up the next time you woke up. He hasn’t mentioned it, and he probably never will.

Words catch in the back of your throat. Before you’re able to formulate anything, Anya catches your attention. You look back at your red-eyed husband once more before turning to your little girl.

“Anya, what have I told you about taking your shoes straight away?” You gently scold, lifting her off of the carpet.

“Sorry mama!” Anya’s cute pout makes your heart melt, causing you to grow even softer. You sigh, placing her down in the entrance of the home.

“Just take them off now and do better next time, alright?”

“Yes mama!” Her giggle was worth the stress. You smile fondly at your baby girl, watching her take her shoes off.

“Y/n.” Loid whispers, wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his head in your neck. You stiffen, clenching your jaw.

“Let go of me.” You whisper, biting your lip.

“Y/n, let me talk.”

“Let go of me.”

“Y/n-” his voice cracks.

You pull away, walking over to Anya. Loid’s voice cracks again. You don’t turn to look at him. If you looked at his guilt-ridden face for too long, you would break.

Later that night. You were silently washing the dishes after Anya went to bed, your expression unreadable. Loid was in the living room, watching you work. He sighed, running a hand through his blonde locks. “Y/n?” He murmured.

You don’t respond, your eyebrow twitching in irritation. Loid let out a strained sigh, standing up. He takes a step towards you, hesitating.

“Y/n, please don’t ignore me...”

You don’t say anything, biting your lip to maintain a calm composure... well as calm as you’re able to be.

“Y/n.” His voice grew sharper as he steps into the dimly lit kitchen, his voice full of frustration and a hint of something you can’t understand.

You continue to ignore him, causing him to let out another sigh, longer this time. “Y/n please.” He steps closer.

Your fingers dig into your palms as you continue to ignore him. Your shoulders tremble from intense emotion, tears bubbling in the corners of your eyes.

“Y/n...” he whispers, gently wrapping his arms around your waist. He gently takes your hands, intertwining your fingers so your nails dug into his hands instead of your own. You lift the pressure, not wanting to hurt him.

“Let go of me.” You whisper, your voice trembling.

“Y/n, just let me explain.” He whispered in your ear. Your breath hitched at his warm breath on your skin, wanting to give in to his comfort and break down in his arms. You get a hold of yourself, stiffening in his hold.

“I don’t want to hear you explain.”

“Y/n-”

“Loid. Let go of me.”

“Baby. Baby listen.” He whispers, shaking as he holds you close to his chest. You gasp softly, tears slipping down your cheeks. Loid has rarely used pet names for you, telling you that he thought it was childish and would much rather call you by name. You didn’t mind it, but it did make you feel so loved when you heard any pet name from his lips.

“My love, it’s not what it looks like. Let me explain. Let me earn your trust back, just please... Please don’t leave. Don’t take my beloved away, don’t take our baby girl.” He sniffled, causing you to stiffen.

Was he... about to cry...?

You don’t protest any further, letting him talk. He hesitates at first, holding you tighter as he buries his face in your neck. “You’re right. This started as a mission. I was tasked to get a wife and child, enroll the child in Eden Academy, and get information on a man that is a great risk to us. It *started* as nothing but a mission, without any feelings attached.” Loid muttered, sounding exhausted and... ashamed?

“Y-you don’t love me? Or Anya?” Your voice cracked with inexpressible hurt.

“No! No baby I do. I love you; I love you to the moon and back. I love you more than myself- more than anyone, anything! And Anya too! I would do anything for my girls.” Loid quickly protests, holding you tighter, like he was afraid of letting you go; like you would disappear if he ever let you out of his hold.

“B-but you said...”

Loid spins you around, looking you dead in the eye as he fondly cradles your face, his thumbs gently wiping your tears away. “In the beginning, it was all for my mission. I’ll be dead honest y/n. When I met you, when we dated, I had zero feelings for you. But that changed. I fell in love with you-” his voice cracks, tears streaming down his own cheeks, “-I saw you for you saw how much you loved me, how perfect you are... that love confession was real. My love for Anya is real. And I would rather be gruesomely killed than ever let anything happen to my girls. I would- nor could never leave either of you. You are my world, and I cannot live without you.”

Your tears quickened as you stared into the eyes of your husband, truth and overwhelming guilt swimming in their deep blue depths. You choke on a response, tears dripping off your chin.

“Shhhh it’s okay baby.” He whispers, pulling you to his chest. He caresses your head, leaning his lips against your forehead. He kisses your forehead slowly and lovingly, adding another and another to the pile as you break down in his warm, comforting arms.

“I promise baby. I would never leave you. I could never leave you. You are my world, my universe, my everything. I am nothing without you and our little girl. Our beautiful little girl.” He whispers, kissing your tears away.

As you sob into his chest, he gently and lovingly dries off your hands before lifting you into his strong arms. He carries you to bed, cradling you to his chest as he lays down, cooing comforting words.

You peacefully fall asleep in his arms, your face buried in his chest as you sob, listening to his soothing words as he slowly strokes your head and back.

~~~~~

Loid's masterlist | Masterlist | Navigation | You can tip me here<3

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! <33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

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thehusbandoden · 2 months

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And Nothing Else Matters -Husband!Loid Forger x Wife!Reader

A/n: it's so easy to write now! I'm so glad that stupid writer's block is gone. :3

I hope I'm not badgering Loid's character lol. Pls let me know what you think! <3

General info:

Genre: pure fluff \\ wc: 711 \\ female reader \\ posted: 03/14/24

Summary:

You feel super clingy.. and you know exactly who your victim is. Your husband.

You giggle, kissing your beloved husband’s cheeks. His dazzling azure eyes instantly meet yours as he frowns, hand held up in defense. He retired from his spy career last year, but he was always on alert. You kiss his warm palm, giggling into his skin as you rub your cheek against his large, warm palm.

You’re not sure why, but you feel extremely clingy... and your perfect victim was of course, your husband. You loved him to pieces, even though he could come off as distant at times, you stuck with him, bathing in the affection whenever he gave it to you, and beaming with gratitude as he showed you his love through several acts of service throughout the day, everyday.

Loid looked at you with a blank look as you nuzzled into his palm, giggling happily. As you continue to giggle, inching closer to him, he can’t help but let out a small sigh, his lips lifting into a small smile. Your giggles grow louder, you’re now full on laying on top of him, rubbing your cheek against his chest.

“Love you baby.” You giggle, kissing his jaw, cheeks, and nose.

“I love you too, y/n.” He mumbles, smiling ever so slightly down at you, stroking your hair softly. You bathe in the affection. If you were a cat, you would be purring.

“You’re so comfy.” You giggle, stuffing your nose into his neck.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! So warm, snuggly, and you smell sooo good.” You rub your nose against his jawline, giggling at the sensation of your skin on his. You were addicted. You push your nose to his, rubbing them together as you fawn over him.

A warm blush coats Loid’s cheeks, causing you to grin in glee. Your giggles continue as you rub your cheek against his.

“What do I smell like?” He smirks softly, raising an eyebrow. You giggle even more when you see his playful side coming out. Something rare, and a blessing that he bestowed on you and Anya, his girls. You two were his world, and you knew that as well as he did.

“I don’t know. You smell like you.” You shrug, giggling as you kiss his forehead, peppering kisses all over his skin.

“You’re going to give me a breakout...” he sighs, though there’s still a small smirk on his face.

“Oh yeah?” You giggle, kissing his skin harder.

He chuckles, his hands moving to your waist. He pinches your sides, causing you to let out a squeak of surprise, your hands quickly grabbing his to stop his playful assault.

“Meanie, that hurt!” You pout, attempting- and failing- to stifle your giggles. His smirk widens into a grin as he frees his hands from yours, tickling your sides.

You squeal in surprise, giggling as you desperately try to get his hands away. Your giggles turn into laughter as you decide to get revenge, attacking his own sides with tickles and soft pinches. He attempts to keep a straight face but ends up grinning ear to ear as he watches your smiling face.

He continues to tickle and gently pinch your sides, nipping at your ear. You squeal in surprise, laughing uncontrollably as you continue to assault his chest and waist. You run out of air, panting from the playful attack.

“I give up! Cease fire!” You giggle, slumping onto his warm chest. He pinches your waist one last time before stilling his hands, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

His grin softens into a smile as he looks down at you, kissing in-between your eyebrows, the tip of your nose, the apples of your cheeks, and finally your lips.

The kiss was slow and gentle, melting you into a puddle. You kiss back sweetly, silently expressing your unconditional love and undying devotion to the man of your dreams.

Loid pulls back, giving your lips one last peck before he rests his forehead against yours, breathing softly. You close your eyes, getting lost in the feeling of having your beloved so close. “I love you.” You whisper, entangling your hands into his blonde hair.

“And I love you, my dearest.” He whispers back. Your smile widens, he rarely uses pet names, and when he does, he’s showing you his soft side. The side that hasn’t been bruised or broken, the side of him that he has fought desperately for years to protect, to hide.

It made you feel like the luckiest woman alive. And to be frank, you were. You were the luckiest, happiest woman in the world. You had your beloved husband, and your precious little girl.

And nothing else mattered.

~~~~~

Loid's masterlist | Masterlist | Navigation | You can tip me here<3

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated<33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

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