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trashlie · 2 months

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ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

#ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #I Love Yoo #Kousuke Hirahara #Shinhye #idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore #and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name #so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol #alas #anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March #literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip #BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it #Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop #i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl #to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace #all the opportunities he lost #the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted #he lost himself in the process #or maybe he never even got to know himself #i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad #that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked #so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of #FUCKING DEVASTATED #I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS

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lucabyte · 28 days

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hi im the anon who asked for ocs

thank you so much i love them so much

Im so happyy and gwaaghhh love your art and ocs so much and the worldbuilding seems so cool!!!!

erm i have not yet read all the linked things (hehehe soon SOOON) and literally would love to know even more about ALL OF THEM so uhhh *spins the wheel* tabitha

Hiiiiii!!! Cradles this ask in my hands like a baby bird. Thabmk you..... I have been staring at this ask periodically for days because I wanted to do some little explainer charts and do it justice for how kind you've been :')

Anyway!!! Tabitha is the funniest character to ask about first because he's like a fucked up little lodestone for MYMK's various factions.

Tabitha is.... A sleepy little (38 year old) guy. He has never done anything notable in his whole life ever.

... So he's the son of the richest man in the country. Not that he tries to think about that particularly often. His partner also doesn't think much about it since... Well, it doesn't really come up? Neither like their family so neither talk about nor visit them. And Chrome first got endeared to Tabitha after dragging his malnourished ass off the office floor a few dozen times when he'd passed out at work. He's clearly not bougie (and Chrome was relatively middle class anyway).

Eeeeeveryone else in Cliffside though (who's politically aware) is just, so suspicious of his sleepyhead ditzy guy demeanor. There's no way he's really that clueless and dim-witted.

Which... Is true. He's not dim-witted, just spacey and has internalised that all of his knowledge is worth absolutely nothing an undiagnosed autistic man who is finally in a low-stress environment.

So he's generally spending most of his days reading wikipedia, sitting in the sun on an unfinished porch, or doing the bare-minimum work he needs to pretend to still be employed. (He's still a music producer, just one that is very VERY derivative of his peers...)

(pictured: Tabitha bangin out the tunes)

But yeah! He's genuinely a chill dude. But once the plot gets rolling he does become an... Obvious hostage for the more dubious of our main characters. He's more fine with the hostage thing than the requirement he go deal with his family again.

But obviously things go a little awry when trying to use someone as a bargaining chip like this, even if they don't want to defect...

Which is where Tabitha's absoute UNINTENDED TRAIL OF DESOLATION rears its head. Turns out he uh, actually did have social connections before he up and vanished from all their lives? Turns out that um... You exist to other people?

Tabitha, high strung and basically constantly in meltdown mode in his late-teens early-20s did a lot of peacekeeping for his father. Peacekeeping between him, and the people that were Tabitha's childhood peers. It doesn't help that he was a good 5-8 years older than a lot of them, being somewhat of a cool older kid/teen/adult to look up to. And then! When he finally broke he just up and left, never really looking back.

It's hardly his fault, he was under a lot of pressure and was hardly properly socialised for this... But these are the sharks he'll be thrown to should he end up anywhere near his old haunts. Which he is. And will end up being. If he is perhaps brought there by our well meaning protagonists. Oops.

I like Tabitha a lot and he's a particularly deep side-character of mine. Functioning as an obstacle, ally, win condition... And very dangerous 'I'll kill everyone in the room and then myself' for Chrome should something happen to him. So be careful! He's fragile! And don't forget he has thoughts of his own, too...

I have a longer diatribe (Link!) detailing his whole backstory and meta-backstory (he's built out of psychoanalysed anime tropes!) so I wanted to talk about his actual um. Plot role and relationships outside of Chrome a bit! (BECAUSE HIS RELATIONSHIP TO CHROME IS VERY SWEET AND IS MY HOMEGROWN OTP BUT ALSO. THEY ARE CODEPENDENT. BADLY.)

He's fun because he is basically One Of The Villains who fucked off before too much villain shit went down. Which makes him silly as a supporting character. Gotta make sure he doesn't eat too much of the screen-time though.... (He gets enough in Purrgatorio...)

But yeah. Diversity win! This vaguely asexual autistic guy has managed to find a loving partner and a life that doesn't make his head feel like its filled with bees! It's filled with mostly cotton instead now but! He is okay.

Aaaand IMAGE BLAST

... Oh good lord Chrome and Tabitha will be turning 10 years old for real next year also. 11th of November 2015. What a time. Can you believe that I originally made him to be in his like, 20s? Fucked up. He should probably be older than 38 tbf but at this point the timeline is locked in. But god. 10 years. Happy upcoming birthday boys.

#ocposting yaaaaay! A little scatterbrained again but I'm new to the ocposting loredump thing. Ill get better with practice i hope #ALSO FUN FACT. I DIDNT .. KNOW.. THAT TABITHA WAS A GIRLS NAME?? I... I ONLY KNEW OF BOY TABITHAS..... IN 2015......#so like THAT + HIM BEING FEMININE KINDA WERE... ACCIDENTS... hes just a fop. a dandy if you will.#i do like tabitha a lot. He's one of the easiest characters for me to write which means he's all instinct. and thus hard to like... describ #but also i like him bc what if a guy got nursed back to health by another more aggressive boistrous guy. but you didnt hear me say that.#lucabytetalks

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pickled-flowers · 7 days

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First day of babysitting my friends' cat is going as expected by which I mean I am scared

#heck bistro is handling it better than me #new cat's name is Galaad btw and he is evil #ok not evil hes just a little big guy #hes just been hissing/low rumbly meows at the door #we put him in my roomates room for now #my friends will be gone for 3 weeks so hopefully he gets chiller #but even normally when hes at home hes pretty agressive toward guests

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potatochip-oc-dump · 6 months

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i keep dropping little tidbits of marks backstory... one day i will spit it all out on some google doc or somethin

little mark + moose mom, mom who is moose

#oc #mark mahogany #moose mom #ill come up w a name for her at somepoint...#ANYWAYS I NEED EVERYONE TO SEE CHILD MARK NOW!!!!!!!#blood #LISTEN I. PROMISE ILL GET INTO MARK LORE WHEN I HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO SO!!!!#VRGGRHGRHRHEHGRHRG new character tiem #shes his mentor of sorts. shes the librarian + owner of the “archive” whatever place that mark currently works at #she took him under her wing and passed down the position to him #ALSO. THIS IS LIKE THE 3RD TIME IVE ACCIDENTALLY MADE AN ANTHRO CHARACTER TRANS #but im sticking with it ofc because i love her very much #mark has that Traumatized Child look in his eye👍 awesome #the context for the blood thing in the third image is that #mark is kind of like. constantly on edge and lashes out when he feels threatened. on top of all that hes a child #who is grappling w the fact that everyone around him continuously calls him a beast and a monster amd all that jazz. not as like an insult #but as and encouragement if thag makes sense #reminder that mark has been to therapy in canon #also im sorry i keep forgetting 2 draw mark with his cane i promise ill try and be better abt that in the future #ahhh i lauve him

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dragonanne4fun · 20 days

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#hmm🫤#is it time to abandon this desperate desire to meet someone organically in person and finally wade into the world of online dating?#obviously. i would still be incredibly open to meeting someone organically #but is it time to start actively looking online??#30yrs is not that far off for me and....I'm ready to have that person who is *my person*#the person i can call when I'm lonely and not feel like a loser because i know they want to share in my company as much as i do theirs #someone who will kiss my forehead and let me lean against them while we watch a movie #someone who will play new board games with me and maybe even some Dnd #i was feeling the Big Sad Lonely last night so today I got out of the house and drove into the city to go to a few shops...#...and just drive in the traffic (I'm a weirdo who actually enjoys city driving on highways)#and one shop i went to was a big game and ttrpg store (so much awesome stuff)#when i checked out i had such a lovely pleasant and fun interaction with the guy at the checkout #he was kinda handsome. not a chad by any means but he seemed cool and had such an attractive voice #and i know nothing about him/his values/his life--not even his name #but i tell you. if that store wasn't 1.5hrs from my house--I'd be dropping in a lot more often just to maybe get to know him a little better #he was so nice and i felt like there was some chemistry there???#maybe??????#but i feel like the odds of us actually sharing all/most of the same values are low so I'm just torturing myself by dwelling on it probably #the ramblings of a dragon #i want a man. a fun godly. creative man #maybe i should be looking online 🫠

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prismatica-the-strange · 21 days

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Thinking about if Anakin fully killed Frei. Like... they "fight" and he runs her through with his lightsaber but instead of being immediately horrified by his actions he moves on to the younglings and the rest of the story goes on as canon.

Except!!! Darth is constantly haunted by her Force Ghost.

Everything he does is constantly critiqued and gets snarky remarks.

Just imagining him force choking some empire goon or officer and he hears Frei behind him go, "That'll show 'em. Killing off your staff one by one. Great job Ani."

And he just drops them with an annoyed sigh then turns to glare at her.

And after the og trilogy? When he's redeemed and they're reunited as force ghosts. Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. The first thing he does is kiss her cause even as a sith he couldn't help but miss and love her. And they spend eternity together in the afterlife.

#i like my new timeline better but i also love the idea of haunting dead naming darth vader #he's trying to give an important order or speech and she keeps interrupting and distracting him #Leia shows up in a new hope and Frei's like 'Wow! Isn't she JUST like Padme? you know? the senator you had an affair with?'#'man. i guess all it really takes is one time... well at least something good came out of it.'#'I'm still not impressed it happened though.'#And Vader is desperately trying not to tell her to shut up because no one knows she's there #except in the kenobi sho Obi-wan definitely saw her bitcjing at him #that's the first peace vader had was right after that first fight she went and hung around obi wan for a bit #and when he found her with him for the second fight he gets really jealous and is like conflicted about the whole thing #like 'nooooo! don't haunt anyone else! you're MY ghost gf!'#death by anyone's hand but his would never taste as sweet #prisma rambles #prisma self ships

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tequatls-favorite-spoon · 1 year

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my art from the na vs art party!! took me a lil bit cuz i wanted to color it and that meant cleaning up the sketches and then i wanted to shade them and hajsksldhaflk

the characters from left to right:

Quinn Teeling - @sunsrefuge

Ambrose Wolfsbane - @commander-gloryforge

Finnegän - @pinecone-enthusiast

Astrëllä - @ohpollenpowder

#vsartparty #gw2 #guild wars 2 #others ocs #my art #also!!! please let me know if i got any of the names or tumblrs wrong!! especially ambrose cuz i didn’t get the name in my ref screenshot #i did go thru the art party tag to find the character i drew and i’m like 99% sure it’s ambrose but if it’s not him i’m SO SORRY #ahhh i hope people like them ajhsjalakf #like i know that getting art of ur oc is usually great no matter what but i get anxious lol #also i used a new shading technique and idk how i feel about it #like i like how i blended out the edges and stuff #but i might have to play with using different colors in different areas instead of just using the same purple lol #really happy with how i did the hair this time tho!! i feel like i usually like hair better in the sketching phase #cuz it’s all loose and rough and messy #i just feel like i get the shape and idk vibe? of the hair better then #and when i get to lines or shading i feel like i end up making the hair too solid? like i lose the flowy-ness of the hair and stuff #anyway i think i did pretty good with it this time tho!! i liked adding the highlights a lot :)#…i actually kinda was referencing an old how to draw manga book i got when i was 11 #listen. it was one of the good ones and had actually good tips and info #and the way it showed shading hair kinda influenced me here and i think it worked!#oh wow i really rambled in the tags this time #there’s a reason my personal texts posts (at least on my main) are tagged as ‘regan rambles’

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inbetweenhours · 1 year

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shitty post finale milo and Scott doodle from last night when I really should not have been awake lol. Milo is a sappy and he needs to get as many of those new pet names rolling as possible. Mans got raised from the dead and immediately decided this was the first order of business and I love that for him.

#wcsmp milo #wcsmp #smajor #hourspost #hoursart #y'all have no idea how actually obsessed i am with Milo the guy gets raised from the dead his husband starts trying to be like #i have committed atrocities you have been dead for 4 years i have refused to mourn and i do dark magic and am not morally sound #and he goes damn aight im kinda hungry lets go eat and also i cant call you sunshine cus your goth now so ig i need new pet names #AND THEN JUST GOES LIKE HE GETS RAISED AND JUST IMMEDIATLY IS BACK AT IT #its the question of has it not fully set it for him what has happened is he willfully ignorant #from his pov he described going into the lake to get their dog he may as well just be waking up from a nap #i expect some drowning trauma 100% because thats is one of the most horrifying ways to go tbh but i think thats getting repressed #like i dont think he fully grasps the trauma of everything until its immediatly affecting him thats my hc #his body doesnt trust water and it makes drinking things hard even when he knows better mentally #anyways enough blabbing i have better art i could be posting rip

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 1 month

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pspspspsss... ari..... ily........... i hope you're doing soso good and i hope uni isn't being too tough on you....... pls remember to take care of yourself...... and sleep.... and drink tea........ kiss kiss kiss<33 - @teddybeartoji

MICKEY ………………

pspspsps…….. i love you lots . thank u for the sweet words i am gnawing at you gently. I’M DOING PRETTY WELL just busy busy busy …. but it’s not 2 bad…….. and i’m doing lots of fun stuff this week :3 just need to . finish writing … this introduction to an academic study ….,, haha …..,,,,,,,

NO BUT . i’m doing well & resting lots & eating/drinking lots…… it better be the same for you mickey!!! be nice to yourself plspls <33 here is a cup of warm tea just for you….. 🍵 drink up!!!!!

#kisses you kisses you kisses you #i’m honouring loserville by going to the cinema again this week hehe #i’m gna watch the spy x family movie w my older brother n sister on friday :33 #ANDDD we’ve all been watching a new anime that i think you’d rlly like mickey…. the meowmeow girl above is the mc she’s so good #the apothecary diaries!!! is the name. it’s super good. i’m only on ep 6 but i’m obsessed #u would love jinshi he’s a silly loserboy prettyboy (also kairo’s favorite man on this planet and u can always trust kairo’s taste)#i think i’m gonna check out the dub today bc niku told me jinshi’s eng va is kaiji fucking tang and i Need him.#ANYWAY ily mickey 🥺🥺 ty for checking in 🥺🥺🥺 i hope the weather is a little bit better across the sea…….#and i hope u get to watch a good movie this week too <33333 #ask tag ✩#mickey !! ✩

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curiositykilledtheradiostar · 2 years

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*crying* I CAN'T PROTECT HIM!!! <<< thinking about David 7

#HE'S SO SOFT AND HE'S SO NERVOUS AND I SWEAR IN THE NAME OF THE FUCKING BOARD TREXEL FUCKMAN BETTER GET READY TO CATCH THESE HANDS IF #ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENS TO MY NEW SON DAVID 7 #I WOULD KILL FOR HIM YOU HEAR ME. WATCH THE FUCK OUT TREXIE BOY THE DAVID 7 PROTECTION SQUAD WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION #anyways guess who was feeling nostalgic for Wolf 359 and decided to listen to Stellar Firma forgetting exactly what happened with Wolf 359 #David 7 means the fucking world to me do you understand #stellar firma #david 7 #trexel geistman #curio chatter

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s0fter-sin · 3 months

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so lately i’ve been obsessed with a 141 dancer au

gaz runs classes, has a youtube channel and quickly becomes one of the most sought after choreographers in the music video scene. soap is his dance partner for his classes, he helps run them and does demonstrations with him

ghost is also a choreographer and he’s gaz’s Arch Nemesis

he's famous for never performing his routines, never doing public appearances without his skull mask and being highly exclusive with who he allows to perform his choreo which earns him his name (since he’s a ghost creator). gaz however is a social media darling, his classes and videos regularly doing huge numbers

they both popped up around the same time and are neck and neck in terms of popularity and skill and they immediately rub each other the wrong way

gaz accuses ghost of not actually choreographing his routines himself bc no one has ever seen him dance and ghost thinks gaz is a clout chaser who's just in it for the fame instead of passion

he became a dancer as a way to channel his rage after years of being an underground fighter, the discipline and physicality helping him more than fights ever did. he hates the thought of someone just using it just to get famous when it literally saved his life

deep down they know their accusations are wrong and they have a grudging appreciation for the other's talent but they'd both rather die than admit it

price is a famous dancer turned director they both work with frequently and they always fight over him; trying to get their routines picked for his music videos. he's also the only one in the industry who's ever seen the ghost perform (before he got famous and before the Incident™)

he finally gets fed up with them constantly being at each other's throats and hires them both to work together and choreograph a joint routine. they're both famous in their own right but this video is for a huge artist so neither of them can refuse no matter how much they hate the other

gaz has a gymnastics background but also a ballet background which lends him to a more fluid style whereas ghost’s style is stronger, more masculine with sharper movements so they naturally end up butting heads

then there's soap who has a completely different style altogether, focusing on a more modern, breakdancer style which makes him see everything completely differently

but it also adds to his self-doubt bc he didn't have a formal dance education, he built his entire repertoire by himself. people see him as inferior to gaz who has that very formal, highly disciplined style. his insecurities about only ever being seen as gaz's demonstration partner and that he can only do gaz’s routines so all his skill is just an extension of him instead of being seen as a dancer in his own right forces him to adopt a rigid - destructive - perfectionism in himself and his body

soap meets ghost before the first rehearsal. he gets to the studio early to practice when sees this beautiful man dancing

he has no idea who he is but he moves so seamlessly, almost better than gaz, and he immediately falls a little in love. the man catches him watching in the mirror and he flusters, getting worse as the man just smirks at him and flawlessly completes the routine

soap tries to save face and asks him to teach him the routine he's doing

the man agrees, introducing himself as simon. the style of the routine is familiar to soap but he can't focus on it when simon's hands are on his waist, guiding him through the steps; his chest pressed up against his back. they work together beautifully, picking up each other's body language and dancing together easier and better than they've ever danced with anyone

then gaz arrives and the vibe in the studio immediately changes

simon's easy confidence becomes hostility, pulling up the skull gaiter he'd let hang around his neck as he practically pushes soap behind him to square up to gaz

soap’s shocked when gaz hits back with the same energy until he realises it's the same way he acts whenever he talks about ghost and his stomach drops

he steps out from behind ghost to side with gaz and the betrayal in simon's eyes hurts more than anything he's ever felt

from there it's romeo and juliet; camp gaz versus camp ghost as they fight over every step of the choreo and soap is the poor bastard stuck in the middle

soap tries to channel that “you’re my best friend’s rival, i have to hate you,” mindset but he can’t forget the way it felt to dance with simon

and how much he wants to do it again

#my friend mimi introduced me to gymnast gaz which made me think he grew up in competitive gymnastics and left it to be a dancer #whether his family was disappointed in that decision i havent figured out yet #the Incident™️ was roba getting simon directly from the underground and manipulating him into working at his strip club where price finds h #and pulls him out when roba tries to force him into sex work too #soap earned his name for being such a clean dancer and never making mistakes during performances #which just make his insecurities worse bc now he has to live up to his new reputation as well as fight of the gazs partner image hes gotten #farah and alex are definitely team gaz and i think nikolai would be his manager #then im thinking alejandro and rudy are team ghost with laswell as his manager #then bc soap is the odd man out hes used as tie breaks when they get into arguments about what move should go next in the routine #the pressure of picking correctly and the routine being essentially on his shoulders freaking him out just as much as having to choose #between his best friend who expects him to always side with him and ghost who always has good ideas #this isnt a negative haz au btw i think it would be a good way to explore his arrogance and stubborness #hes decided ghost is his enemy and nothing can pull him away from that #(except for what eventually does but im not sure what that is yet lmao)#i want soap at some point to completely overwork himself and his bad knee swells and gets irritated and finally gives out #and its ghost who forces him to take a break and convinces him that working his body to death wont help him be a better dancer #cue tender wound care and ghost backstory as he reassures soap that he is an amazing dancer #he offers soap a no stress space at his studio if he ever wants it & gaz overhears and thinks soap is betraying him and leaving so cue angs #we’re a team. ghost team #coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #save post #john price #cod 141 #soapghost au

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