this is all your fault @sunsetcougar
in a world where vaggie gets adopted by the little cannibal kid she saved, and then by Rosie, and slips out of cannibal town each night for food that isn't too humane for her tastes-
imagine this version of chaggie meeting at a takeout window in hell
one long, awkward moment of trying not to look at each other...
Charlie: “So! You-"
Vaggie: "Hey."
Charlie: "-hello! Oh sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off-"
Vaggie: "No that was me. You're fine. (why is she in a SUIT) Go on."
Charlie: "Ok. What, uh- (panics in oh no she’s cute and talking to me) (remembers she’s staying in cannibal town) (OH PERFECT A CONVERSATION STARTER!!) -what kind of people do you like?”
Vaggie: “...pardon?”
Charlie: “Oh it's just, I've seen you around and, is that why you’re out on the town a lot? Shopping um, around? (for people to eat)”
Vaggie: “Not really? I’m kinda still.. torn up over my last big life commitment, (literally) so I’m exactly not looking to date anyone right off the bat.”
Charlie: “To date- TO DATE- OH! No no no I wasn’t- I meant dinner!”
Vaggie: “With you?”
Charlie: “IN GENERAL! People you like, as in, to eat? Because you're with the cannibals and haha dinner with me that would be like, a date and-”
Vaggie: “Yeah I’m not into that.”
Charlie: “(dying)-right.”
Vaggie: “The eating people thing. Not the dinner with a pretty woman thing.”
Charlie: “… (charlie.exe has stopped working)…Ah.”
Vaggie: “Right.”
Charlie: “…but Cannibal town?”
Vaggie: “I just live there. I- Junior Meat lives there and I’m sticking with him.”
Charlie: “And Mr. Meat is your…?”
Vaggie: “Kid? Kinda?”
Charlie: “Oh!”
Vaggie: “Yeah.”
Charlie: “That's wonderful! How did you two- sorry no never mind, too much, um. Does he like take out too? Or any non-human snacks?”
Vaggie: “Gummy bears. And dino nugets.
Charlie: "He has very good taste."
Vaggie: "He likes biting the heads off ‘em.”
Charlie: “Aww me too!!! Well, playing with them, not the head biting but. And you?”
Vaggie: “I used to put them into battle formations and march them off to war.”
Charlie: “That’s so cute.”
Vaggie: "..."
Charlie: "..."
Vaggie: “You meant what snacks do I like, huh.”
Charlie: “Heheh. Um. Yes! Sorry I’m not. Doing the whole 'have normal conversation with a beautiful girl' thing very good am I?”
Vaggie: “I’d give you five stars. And practice makes perfect.”
Charlie: "And would you...? I mean I wouldn't want to practice on someone who didn't-"
Vaggie: "Be your practice partner? Sure. Sounds fun."
Charlie: “…! I- I know all the best places in hell for inhuman food! Or wait no, for food that isn’t made of people! My treat?”
Vaggie: “My pleasure. (automatically does the little curtsy and hand kiss Rosie’s been badgering her to learn) (panics) I uh, here's my order, I gotta... go tuck in Junior Meat. You know where I’m at?”
Charlie: “(dazed) Hannibal Clown…. C-Cannibal Town!”
Vaggie: “Right. Think I already mentioned it.”
Charlie: “Yes and I saw you with them- so I guessed that you- I can pick you up?”
Vaggie: “Maybe an hour later than this, so Junior's in bed and doesn’t freak out.”
Charlie: “Oh. (droops) You think I’d scare him? I wouldn’t pull out my horns or tail out…”
Vaggie: “It's not you. He’s just kinda jumpy after the… he had a rough extermination day, is all.”
Charlie: “Looked like you did too.”
Vaggie: “What.”
Charlie: “You seem much better now! Not that you didn’t look great then, I mean. I'm sure you always look-”
Vaggie: “You saw- what did you see?”
“Charlie: “I was walking by when the cannibals were helping you. And I think I saw Junior Meat too? He was the one holding your hand?”
Vaggie: “Yeah…?”
Charlie: “I’m, really glad you all found each other. Even if it was a rough day.”
Vaggie: “… they ate part of me in greeting.”
Charlie: “Ugh! They ate-? I mean, aww?”
Vaggie: "Not a normal thing even in hell?"
Charlie: "The definition of normal is... fluid and not very... it wasn't your EYE was it?"
Vaggie: "Eh, wasn't using it anymore anyway."
Charlie: "I guess it counts as. Recycling?"
Vaggie: "Heh."
Charlie: "Sorry."
Vaggie: “No, you're okay. You’re also right though. Maybe it was worth one rough day.”
Charlie: “I’m right?”
Vaggie: “And you’re picking me up tomorrow for dinner.”
Charlie: “!!!! YES! I am! I will, be there, for you. Tomorrow.”
Vaggie: “And…”
Charlie: “And?”
Vaggie: “Didn’t catch a name earlier.”
Charlie: “Oh it’s Charlie! Charlie Morningstar but it’s just Charlie!”
Vaggie: “As in princess?”
Charlie: “Just Charlie.”
Vaggie: “Sweet. (FUCK) See you soon, Charlie.”
Charlie: “….okay….”
Charlie:
Charlie: “Oh my ****ing dad what just happened.”
Charlie, two hour later: "I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HER NAME??"
-At Rosie's Emporium (of vaggie's pain)-
Vaggie: "Junior's finally asleep, so not matter what I tell you, please don't scream."
Rosie: "A very intriguing start! I'm already tickled! Do go on."
Vaggie: “You might need to just kill me.”
Rosie: “I couldn’t possibly! You haven’t even eaten your take out yet~”
Vaggie: “Aunt Rosie help me.”
Rosie: “A girl, hmm?”
Vaggie: “A girl?? She was in a SUIT. She was tall and awkward kept playing with her hair and should've had a puppy dog tail wagging behind her. I called her pretty and said I’d give her five stars. Then I invited myself to dinner with her. And she’s a fucking DEMON.”
Rosie: “We all are down here, darling. Present company excepted of course.”
Vaggie: “HELP. ME.”
Rosie: “Let’s start with the basics, yes? The niceties? What’s the name of this lucky girl?”
Vaggie: “Charlie.”
Rosie: "Lovely! And does she have a last name?"
Vaggie: "It's just Charlie."
Rosie: "How charming, I like her already~"
Vaggie: "But her last name's Morningstar. Don't scream."
Rosie: (SPITS TEA)
Vaggie: “I know."
Rosie: "Oh... my."
Vaggie: "I know I know!"
Rosie: "An abandoned angel and the princess of hell?"
Vaggie: "She didn't act like a princess of hell! She was like, princess of cute and wearing her heart on her sleeve! Princess of so kissable I could just reach up and grab her bowtie and-"
Vaggie: "FUCK I'm so fucked.”
Rosie: "Not yet you aren't. Don't worry darling, auntie Rosie will get you there~"
Vaggie: "That's not the kind of help I need!"
Rosie: "Speaking of need- a new outfit, yes, something with sparkle and shine, on par with a suit but not one whit more! With a skirt you can move in too of course."
Vaggie: "I DONT NEED A SKIRT I NEED TO STOP BEING GAY OVER THE PRINCESS OF HELL"
Rosie: "Perhaps flowery parasol to hide your dear little spear in..."
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