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#get it together mom i just wanna watch gordon ramsey yell at people
hotanddistraught · 3 years
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my mom: courtney lets watch hells kitchen!
also my mom: *doesnt stop working on the puzzle*
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hydroponicjj · 4 years
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kiss the cook
summary: baking with jj maybank, a recipe for disaster.
pairing: jj maybank x reader
warnings: swearing, possible typos?
a/n: all i wanna say is that the muffins they make are really good and i highly suggest that you all try them :) hope ya enjoy !!! <3
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                      「 ₊˚.༄ 」
“Just let me in!” JJ yelled from the other side of your screen door, “Everyone else is busy. I promise I’ll sit still if you let me in.” He pleaded, letting out a heavy groan.
“You promise that you won’t get in the way.”
“You won’t even see me, silent as a mouse.” He continued.
He would not quit pestering you until you unlocked the screen door and let him inside of your house, “Fine.” You caved, moving out of the way to let him in.
“Why do you look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy?” The blond laughed, taking in your attire.
“Do you want me to kick you out?” You threatened, scowling at him.
He shook his head, smirking, knowing that he had you riled up. You left him standing in the doorway, going back into your kitchen.
He followed close behind you like a lost puppy in desire of attention, “So, why are you channeling your inner Gordon Ramsey right now?”
“Kook Academy is having an over the summer bake sale and they’re paying the people that take part.”
“So you signed up to help the Kooks, are you feeling okay?” He raised his hand towards your forehead.
“My mom needs the money,” You explained, watching as he took a seat on the counter that was far away from the ingredients that you had sprawled out.
“So, what are you baking, Betty Crocker?”
Smirking, you retorted, “Banana-Chocolate Muffins.”
“Ew,” His face contorted.
“Maybe you’d find them appealing if you ate something other than shrimp and grits.” You chuckled, returning the same energy that he gave you earlier.
“Haha, you’re funny, Y/N/N. I’ll give you that.” He swayed his finger in your direction.
“Can you pass me the spatula in that drawer over there?” You asked, pointing.
He plopped down from the counter and retrieved the spatula, but he didn’t hand it to you before saying something cynical, “Wait, wait. You’re not the Pillsbury Dough Boy,” He paused, “You’re SpongeBob SquarePants.”
You couldn’t deny that his pithy remarks were funny but, you didn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
“I thought you said that you would be silent like a mouse?” Squinting, you took the spatula from his right hand, watching as he searched for a way to respond to you.
“I can be the Chef Boyardee to your Betty Crocker?”
Instinctively, you grinned at his joke, knowing that he took pride, knowing that you found him entertaining.
“Okay, fine.” You complied, walking passed him to grab that cake mix, “But I’m the head chef.”
“Eye-Eye Captain,”
“You think you’re so cute.” You playfully rolled your eyes.
“I know I’m so cute.” JJ corrected.
“Can you grease those pans next to you while I do the ones right here?” You asked, overlooking his previous remark.
To be honest, he didn’t totally know what that meant and he didn’t want to ask you. So, he did not do it, reminding himself to do it later.
After you greased your pans, you thought out loud, “All right so now we have to mix the cake mix, eggs, sugar, and bananas.”
“Should we do it by hand or use the mixer?”
“Uh,” JJ contemplated what to say next, “Mixer.”
“Mixer it is.” You went in the cabinet above the microwave, retrieving the machine.
JJ’s eyes widened, staring at the contraption. For someone that has never baked before, it looked odd.
You laughed, “Come here, it will not bite you.” He was hesitant to grab it but, eventually, he did.
“So, put this at the bottom of the bowl and move it around till everything is one solid color.” You explained.
“Mm.” He replied, not hearing what you told him, looking at the machine, trying to figure out how to maneuver it.
“Here,” You smirked, turning the mixer on and grabbing his hand, showing him how to mix properly.
He looked over his shoulder, observing how you focused. Smiling warmly, he looked away before you noticed that he was staring.
You took your hand away, “You’ve got it.”
“Chef Boyardee has everything under control.” He replied smoothly, turning around for a split second to look at you.
You raised your eyebrows, smiling at him while backing away, resting on the counter.
JJ continued to mix everything while you texted Kiara on your phone. Every couple of seconds you’d take your eyes away from the device, making sure that everything was going smoothly.
It was hard to not look at the way JJ’s shoulder blades would flex as he moved his arm back and forth, moving the mixer inside of the bowl.
Kie: It’s so boring at the chateau
Y/N: JJ told me you guys were busy?
Kie: Definitely not. We’ve just been sitting around watching tv
Y/N: He begged his way into my house and now he’s helping me bake muffins
Kie: JJ baking?? never thought I’d see the day
Kie: Make sure you ask him why he thought we were busy and tell me what he says
“This color looks like my shit,” JJ observed, tearing you from your conversation with Kiara.
“Now I’ll never be able to get that image from my mind.” You rolled your eyes, placing your phone in the pocket of your shorts.
“What’s next, Betty?”
“We pour the mix into the pans and then put it into the oven.” You explained, double-checking to make sure that the oven was on.
“Really? I thought we’d have more to do.” He pouted, poking out his bottom lip.
“Sorry, Mr Boyardee but, the reason I wanted to make these muffins is that they don’t take 30 years to make.” 
He rubbed his hands together, “Well, I’m excited to taste one.”
“Nuh-uh lover boy. These are for the bake sale.”
“Wh-what?” He stuttered, flipping his hat around on his head, “Just one?”
“Fine, we can split one.” You watched as his face lit up, “Now it’s your turn to put the mix into your pans.” 
He snickered, earning a look of confusion from you, “What?”
“Put my mix into your pans,” He cackled, raising his eyebrows, you shook your head.
“I have a dirty, dirty mind,” He explained, tapping his temple.
JJ’s mind was racing 3000 miles per hour so, he didn’t notice that he failed to grease the pans for the muffins, “I hope these taste good,” He commented while placing the pan into the oven, next to yours.
                      「 ₊˚.༄ 」
“While we wait,” you began, taking a seat on your recliner, “Why did you lie about the rest of the Pogues being busy?”
“I didn’t lie, just changed a few key details of the story.” He shrugged, taking a seat on the floor in front of you.
You scoffed, “C’mon, you lied.”
“Fine, fine. I embellished the story, so what? I wanted to hang out with you. Are you going to charge me, officer?”
He spotted a pen that was sitting on the coffee table. He picked it up. You kicked your foot in his direction to get his attention.
“And I got to see you in that hot ass apron.” He smirked, putting the pen back where he found it.
“Can you tell me why you embellished, please.” You urged.
“Ah, ah, ah. No way, I remain a mystery.”
“I don’t get you, JJ Maybank.” You chuckled.
“Correction, JJ Boyardee.” He poked the ankle that was closest to him.
“I’m surprised that you messed nothing up, today. I’m proud of you, Boyardee.”
“Thanks, Crocker.” He smiled up at you, putting your calf in a headlock as he liked things on Instagram.
Y/N: He said he wanted to hang out with me, that’s why he “embellished the story”
Kie: Idiot
Kie: Makes sense though, he was bitching to me cause John B wouldn’t let him borrow the Volkswagen to go to your place
Y/N: He confuses me sometimes
Y/N: Like he hits on every single girl with a pulse and then I hear shit like this and I’m like.... what the fuck do I do???
Y/N: And not to mention the whole Pogue on Pogue shit has me even more conflicted
Kie: Listen, I was the biggest advocate for no macking on each other but that was only because I was the only girl and now that you and Sarah are here, makes more sense for us to drop it you know?
Y/N: What are you telling me, Kiara Carrera?
Kie: I’m telling you to go for it. Even though he can be an idiot, he’s probably just as conflicted as you are right now.
Y/N: Who knew a day of baking would lead to this
Kie: “Look at us.”
Kie: “Who would’ve thought?”
Y/N: “Not me.”
“The timer is about to go off,” JJ noticed, “Should we take them out?”
“Yeah, yeah.” You shook the thoughts out of your head and tried to focus on anything other than the boy in front of you.
JJ was the first to get up and head towards the kitchen, you needed a couple more seconds before following behind, “Shit, shit, shit!” He screamed, you shot up instantly and saw JJ trying to reach into the oven, minus the mitt.
“JJ!” You rushed over, “Are you okay?” You took his hand and ran it under some icy water for two seconds.
“I got distracted thinking about stupid shit.” He took off the red snapback on the top of his head, slamming it on the counter.
“I-It’s fine, JJ. It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up.” You let go of his wrist, taking the muffins out and placing it on the stove so they could cool.
“Here, come sit down.” You led him toward your recliner, forcing him to sit down while you went into the shared bathroom with your mother and grabbed the first aid kit.
“Y/N, I’m fine. I don’t need all of this.” He tried to stand up, but you pushed him back down.
“Do you want it to get infected?” You paused, waiting for him to interject, but he said nothing.
“Why do you insist on taking care of me?” He questioned, looking at you while you tended to the hand that he injured.
“Kie is the mom of the group, not me.” You chuckled, shaking your head as you continued working.
“No, no.” He pushed your hand away, “You take care of me differently. You like, make sure I’m eating enough and shit.”
“That’s just what you do for the people you like.” You shrugged.
“Y-You like me?” He raised his eyebrows in disbelief, a grin was slowly appearing on face but he stopped, wanting to make sure you meant what you said.
Contemplating what to say next, you scratched your head, “I-I mean, like yeah.” You shrugged, trying to play it off as if it wasn’t such an enormous deal.
“Can you stop for a second!” He raised his voice, startling you, “I’m sorry.”
“Do you like me, Y/N?”
“Of course!”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He questioned, standing up, leaving you sitting on the arm of the chair.
“How could I? I mean, you’re always with some tourist.” You scoffed.
“Cause I thought you didn’t like me. You shoot me down all the time.” He paced back and forth in your living room.
“I want to take you on a date. Like an actual date to see a movie or some shit, I dunno.” He was spiraling out of his mind, saying things at 100 miles per hour.
“JJ, calm down, please.” You attempted to get his attention, but he kept rambling.
“Yeah, and put like extra popcorn on top, yeah.” He nodded his head.
You made an impulsive decision; you kissed him. It took him two seconds to realize what was happening, but once he regained consciousness, he kissed back.
“I didn’t know I was wearing a kiss the cool apron?” He joked, beginning to look around frantically.
“Stop,” You chuckled, hitting the side of his arm, “Can you think straight now?”
“I dunno, I mean, are you going to kiss me like that again?” He crooked his head to the side, giving you a smirk.
Shaking your head, you walked by him and headed in the kitchen, “I think we can take them out now.” You poked and prodded at the muffins inside of the silver pans.
You took one of the bigger muffins out perfectly, “This came out nicely, try that pan.”
JJ walked over and tried to pry them up but they wouldn’t budge, like it cemented them down. Then it all hit him, “I-I forgot to grease the pan.”
It stunned you. You couldn’t get a full 24 hours without something going wrong.
“Are you serious?” You whined.
“I’ll make you more,” He paused, “If you kiss me again.”
“Never going to happen.”
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cbseung · 5 years
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cobblestones: modern prince! hyunjin - [pt. 1]
✧༺♥༻∞ modernprince!hyunjin because hwang hyunjin is a literal prince
[masterlist]
[pt 1] [pt 2] [pt 3] [pt 4] [pt 5] [pt 6] [pt 7] [pt 8] [pt 9] [pt 10] [final]
author’s note: so this imagine isn’t historically accurate and here’s why
queen elizabeth doesn’t exist but one direction does
there’s also no current reigning monarchy in korea irl? that i know of anyways, but in this story there is 
hyunjin has a british? accent
but i hope you enjoy anyway :D (also! this is part 1 because this idea just popped off in my head and i want to execute it well)
also side note: the timing for this was too perfect thanks for posting hyunjin 
pairings: you x hyunjin
genre: fluff! lowkey enemies to lovers! 
word count: 1,115
description: your best friend had some mysterious secret, and now you’re having dinner at the buckingham palace with the same boy who called you dumb after HE ran into you at the market earlier that day
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ever since your one direction phase back in 2014 you’ve wanted to go to london
and find one direction 
and on that note, you and your best friend, hwang yeji (who you may or may not have forced to come with you) are five minutes from boarding
and you’re internally trying not to freak out???
it’s not like you’ve waited for this moment for like?? 5 years??
you are VISIBLY shaking due to your excitement
so yeji ELBOWS you to STOP and says
“hey my fam from korea is in london the same time we are and they want to meet us for dinner the day after we arrive and they’re rich rich so i said yes”
and who are you to disagree?? you love free food and free food from the rich nonetheless
with that said, you two start to board the plane
yeji links your arms together and says
“let’s go!! i have a feeling this trip will be one to never forget!!”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・。.・
so you guys arrive to london after that 6 hour flight
and if the dictionary had a picture for the definition of death you’re 100% sure your current state would be it
you were SO sure you could sit on the plane for those 6 hours but BOY WERE YOU WRONG
now all you wanna do is sleep in a fortress made of pillows and blankets but no no, LONDON AWAITS
AND WOW IT’S PRETTIER THAN YOU THOUGHT
SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE SO MANY PEOPLE TO MEET
it’s 12:30 pm when you arrive, so you and yeji start by eating lunch and exploring what london has to offer
you stop at a market to buy food because you guys are staying at an airbnb and ya’ll need to cook cook
so you buy coffee to beat DEATH the jetlag 
you separate from yeji in order to cover more ground and as you turn to walk to the first vendor you—
oof
...
and then you feel it
your poor, lowkey scalding hot coffee is now all over your brand new shirt you bought just for this trip!!!
“HeeEeEEEy” you whine
“hey uh you should watch where you’re going” you hear a deep voice say
????????????? excuse me???
you step back in order to see who ran into and -
oh? he’s kinda cute? bucket hats don’t look good on anyone and wow does he work it!! and that mole under his left eye looks so cute i kinda just wanna kiss it and- oh wait he’s waving his hand in front of your face
“uh hello? anyone home? look i know americans are dumb but i didn’t know they were this dumb
oh he’s rude rude
“HeY uH maybe YOU should watch where you’re going??” you retort back, “and sorry i kinda had to process that the holy elixir of life is all over my brand new shirt because some idiot decided to run into me”
“holy elixir of life??? wow are all you americans that dramatic? tea is so much better anyway?”
“wow! are all british people this snobby and rude?”
“not all of us are, just me darling”
you can just hear the sarcasm dripping from his lips
you walk away fuming
BECAUSE HE JUST?? RUINED YOUR OUTFIT >:( AND COFFEE >:(
you call yeji frantically because you need to go back to your airbnb which totally puts a damper on today’s festivities and that means you have to cancel everything today because it’s such a hassle to go back to the city city and-
oh yeji says just to buy a new shirt and then you’ll figure it out later
and that’s why she’s your best friend
cause she rationalizes and calms you down
uwu thanks yeji
you and yeji meet up when it’s dinner time, and you start complaining about cute rude mystery guy
“you should have HEARD the way that guy who ran into me talked to me!! he was so rude >:(  ᵇᵘᵗ ʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵏᶦⁿᵈᵃ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ ”
“oH? what’s that i hear?!? y/n has a cruuuush!!!”
“IT’S! NOT! A! CRUSH! also you totally ignored me when i said he was mean!”
“oop whatever you say”
“no but seriously” you sigh, “it wouldn’t hurt to see him again”
“ᶦᵗ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃ ᶜʳᵘˢʰ ᵐʸ ᵇᵘᵗᵗ ” yeji mutters
you also ask her about her mysterious rich family
“so like how rich rich is your family”
“let’s just say old money goes a long way.. also they’re sorta famous back in the homeland” yeji says
famous??? how famous?? how exciting!! maybe they know one direction
with this new pep in your step you can’t wait until dinner tomorrow!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・。.・
okay woah wait a second
you were expecting some family that owns some moderately successful business in london like those folks you see in your dramas and can afford that gordon ramsey restaurant you wanted to eat at but couldn’t pay for
you really were an idiot sandwich
but not the royal family?? you know like the kings and queens and princes and princess that have knights with the shining armor and stuff
wait you might finally meet your knight in shining armor ooo
as you step into the buckingham palace-
woah wait you!! are stepping into!!! buckingham palace!!!
“this is absolutely insane???” you tell yeji, “how tf do you know the royal?? family??”
“well ,,, my aunt and uncle are kinda?? the queen and king of like parts of korea?? let’s not get into the logistics”
you and yeji are greeted walk into the grand entrance of the buckingham palace and WOW
IT’S SO???? PRETTY? AND BIG?
THE GOLDEN HANDRAILS, THE TWO STAIRCASES DESCENDING FROM THE BALCONY? SO PRETTY
and this is just the entrance!!!?? you think
there’s two figures standing at the top of the balcony
“auntie!!!!” yeji yells as she runs towards them, “i’ve missed you!!”
after a few minutes of them catching up (and by catching up i mean, ‘oh yeji how are you how’s your mom do you have a boyfriend yet what are you studying in university’) yeji introduces you to her aunt
“auntie! this is y/n! she’s my bestest friend back home! y/n, this is my aunt ”
“it’s so nice to meet you!” you say
“it’s nice to meet you too y/n!” she says as she gives you a hug, “dinner will be served in a few minutes, but why don’t you say hello to my children! they should be in the dining room!”
OOOH more exploring!!! and new friends!!!!! you can’t WAIT for how the rest of the night is gonna go!
but oof honey you’ve got a storm coming, and you won’t know what hit you
[end of part 1] 
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